Fear of dating?! Tips on how to ace your dating game | Share Ko Lang
Pagod nang maging single pero takot makipag-date? Bakit?!
Alamin kung ano ang maaaring dahilan at mga sagabal sa pagkakaroon ng love life sa panahon ngayon at kung paano ito pwedeng masolusyonan, kasama ang isang psychologist at ang ating host at safe space, si Doc Anna!
#GMAIntegratedNews #KapusoStream
Breaking news and stories from the Philippines and abroad:
GMA Integrated News Portal: http://www.gmanews.tv
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gmanews
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gmanews
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/gmanews
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/gmanews
GMA Network Kapuso programs on GMA Pinoy TV: https://gmapinoytv.com/subscribe
Alamin kung ano ang maaaring dahilan at mga sagabal sa pagkakaroon ng love life sa panahon ngayon at kung paano ito pwedeng masolusyonan, kasama ang isang psychologist at ang ating host at safe space, si Doc Anna!
#GMAIntegratedNews #KapusoStream
Breaking news and stories from the Philippines and abroad:
GMA Integrated News Portal: http://www.gmanews.tv
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gmanews
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gmanews
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/gmanews
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/gmanews
GMA Network Kapuso programs on GMA Pinoy TV: https://gmapinoytv.com/subscribe
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:00Hello mga kapuso! Ako si Dr. Anna Tuazon, ang inyong kakwentuhan na psychologist sa share ko lang.
00:13Pagod na ba kayo maging single at gusto nyo nang maging in a relationship, pero takot naman kayong makipag-date.
00:21Today, pag-uusapan natin how to overcome those fears and paano maging confident sa dating kasama ang psychologist na si Dr. Rhea Celine Villa.
00:33Hello, Dr. Rhea! Welcome to Share Ko Lang!
00:36Thank you so much, Dr. Anna. I'm glad to be here. Hello po sa lahat.
00:39Meron ka bang mga na-encounter na cases o mga tinutulungan na mga tao who have fears or anxieties about dating?
00:50Ako marami, Dr. Anna. Actually, akala ng mga iba, it's something simple.
00:55Pero pag na-internalize mo na parang relationship concern siya, talagang nakakataas siya ng anxiety.
01:04And sometimes kapag ka na-heartbroken, ayon, napupunta rin sa akin when it comes to parang finding.
01:11Sa panahon ngayon, marami pong nalulungkot and it's hard to find authentic relationships.
01:17Yeah, kasi minsan, you know, when I talk about relationships as a psychologist,
01:21minsan may mga bumabati ko sa, ang babaw naman yan, talk about depression, talk about mental health.
01:26Eh para sa akin, party yun ng mental health, diba?
01:30Yung mga thriving relationships, sabi niyo nga, loneliness, important yan, diba, for our mental health?
01:37Correct. So, diba, usually, yung biopsychosocial model ng triggers natin, yung isang aspeto ay yung social.
01:45So, gaano ba ka-authentic or meron ba tayong malalapitan in times of need or encouragement?
01:53So, malaking parte po yung social angle natin pagdating sa mental health, no?
01:59So, let's talk about the common fear sa pagsisimula sa dating, you know, making that first move, diba?
02:06Kinausap namin or tinanong namin ang ating mga kapuso, diba?
02:10Sabi ng isang kapuso, magastos kasi. Kasi tinanong namin sa lab, bakit hindi sila nagde-date?
02:16Sabi, magastos kasi, kahit pwede naman sana, mag-KKB na lang. Yan.
02:23So, actually, hindi lang itong kapuso na ito ang nag-mention, no?
02:26Marami nagsabing, magastos, or unahin mo muna yung ibang gastusin, tsaka na yung dating.
02:33May napapansin ka ba niyo na nga, parang economic ang reasons kung kelan nila feeling ready mag-date?
02:40Very interesting nga yung panahon ngayon, no?
02:43Kasi, para na tayo naging western na parang considered na rin na usually kasi may mga roles, diba?
02:49Na-tanggal na yun na parang dapat ba yung lalaki, or dapat ba shared, dapat ba salitan?
02:57Pero meron ako mga kilala, pag na-establish na yung konsepto ng dating, hindi na sila nao-offend kung KKB.
03:05And in terms of yun na nga, parang making the first move, diba? Asking someone out, yung magde-date.
03:10Siyempre, kung ikaw yung mag-ask out, siyempre, kaya pa paano, dapat may fans ka.
03:15Even if meron ng KKB, diba, na aspeto, pero still, parang mahirap yatang mag-ask out.
03:23O ikaw mismo, alam mo, baka sobrang simple lang yung dating.
03:27Na kaya ko.
03:28Oo nga eh. Actually, maraming dahilan kung ba't natatakot yung ilang Pilipino pagdating sa dating,
03:34or eventually having a relationship, kasi parang shared responsibility mo na yung person dahil may emotions and may affection.
03:42And I think it's a mix of cultural factors and expectations, diba?
03:47Isa yung economic. Una, kahit gusto natin, kung wala naman tayong pagkukuhanan, challenge siya.
03:54Sa ibang mga concerns yung ano, Doc, minsan yung fear of rejection, pinaka-common na hidahilan to.
04:01Maraming tao, hindi lang actually Pilipino, natatakot tayong masaktan or mareject.
04:06Kasi yung konsepto ng hiya, yung sense of embarrassment, kapag may hindi magandang nangyari, like rejection,
04:13is one factor kung hindi siya sure na mapapay-yes niya on a first date, ayun, hindi na niya itatry at all.
04:21Meron din tayong family expectations, diba?
04:25Yung pagdating sa relationship, tatanggapin ba ito ng family ko?
04:29Itong taong dinindate ko? Ano sasabihin ang kabag-anak?
04:33Ito pa magbabermance, no, Doc Anna?
04:35So parang minsan pag mga reunion or Christmas party, parang ang laki ng pressure kung single ka,
04:43pero ang laki rin ang pressure kung may dinidate ka.
04:46So interesting po yung mga cultural values natin.
04:50At kung marami kang past heartbreak, I think isa rin yung pag nagiging defense mechanism natin na iwasan ang dating.
05:00So hindi tayo madaling mag-trust ulit, kaya mas pinipili na lang natin umiwas kaysa masaktan.
05:06Speaking of fear of rejection, marami din tayong mga kapuso nagshare ng similar sentiment.
05:13Sabi ng isang kapuso, mahiyain po ako at alam ko na hindi niya din ako gusto.
05:20How can we address yung fear of rejection?
05:23Kasi on the other hand, meron tayong mga tinatawag na, at least yung panahon ko, Doc Rhea,
05:28yung mga sigurista, ayaw mag-confess or ayaw mag-make ng first move,
05:35until sure na sure sila na gusto rin sila ng tao, healthy ba?
05:40Ano yung tamang paraan to overcome that fear of rejection?
05:45Maganda yung question mo, Doc.
05:47Kasi parang minsan hindi mo malalaman until you have more experience or opportunities to get to know the person.
05:54And I think we could concentrate on ourself muna na we have to be ourselves, diba?
06:00If you be yourself and stay authentic, yun kasi yung lasting, kasi yun yung totoong ikaw.
06:07Kahit na parang kung mag-iiba ka, tapos eventually malalaman din niya, the relationship will not work.
06:13So unang-una, mahalaga na totoo ka sa sarili mo.
06:16Hindi mo kailangan mag-pretend to be someone else to impress the person you like.
06:20So confidence starts when you are comfortable with who you are.
06:24Siguro tumataas yung fear kasi para sa kanila high stakes.
06:27Pag hindi ako gusto ng tao or hindi siya nag-yes sa akin, ibig sabihin hindi ako attractive.
06:33Diba parang nagiging judgment na nila, kung ano yung sense of worth nila.
06:38E minsan, hindi lang naman talaga talo.
06:41Ibang hinahanap nila, ibang hinahanap mo.
06:44So I think that's also one way.
06:47Okay, alam mo rin, compatibility issue lang yan.
06:50Kung hindi ka type, hanggang dun lang yun.
06:52Hindi ibig sabihin hindi ka ka-nais-nais na tao, na walang magmamahal sa'yo.
06:58Wala siyang bearing on you.
07:00Lalo na kung respectful ka naman nagtanong.
07:03Hindi ka naman nagharas or talaga nagiging aggressive.
07:07Then you can say, okay, I tried it and it didn't work out.
07:11And that's okay.
07:14Parang we're just trying to find matches.
07:17We're not trying to find our sense of worth via dating.
07:21Napaka-importante nun.
07:22Pero actually, ang hirap yata in actuality.
07:25Isir siya dandan ba?
07:27Oo.
07:29And then also, yung sinasabi mo, yung being yourself.
07:33Napaka-importante nun.
07:34Kasi syempre we can't help it.
07:36Pag may gusto tayong tao, syempre gusto natin ma-impress.
07:40Let's move forward, no?
07:42Gusto niya mag-jogging, mag-running.
07:44Mag-jogging, running din ako.
07:45Napapanggap, pero may bilin ka pang shoes.
07:47Oo. Mahilig din ako sa basketball.
07:49Mahilig din ako sa K-pop.
07:51E kaya mo ba?
07:52Masustain mo ba yung interes?
07:54Oo.
07:56So actually, tama yun.
07:57Kasi yung gusto nating alamin sa inyo, Doc Rhea,
08:00how to be confident.
08:01So first, yung confidence isn't in dating or relationships.
08:05Dapat confident ka talaga sa sarili mo muna.
08:09Speaking of worth,
08:10dapat alam mo meron akong something of value to offer to this person.
08:15And gusto ko lang naman mag-share.
08:17Experience.
08:18I wanna spend time with this person.
08:20So siguro, it's really important na parang when we ask someone out
08:24or we make the first move,
08:26parang i-lower, tama ba?
08:28I-lower natin yung stakes.
08:29Parang first move lang naman yan.
08:31There are many more moves.
08:33Yung iba kasi parang nag-expect na rin.
08:37So doon nagkaka-misalignment.
08:39And then lahat may meaning, diba?
08:41Ano kaya ang gesture to?
08:43Ba't di siya nag-good morning?
08:45Bakit hindi ako tinanong? Ganyan.
08:47So to relieve you from the uncertainty,
08:50i-enjoy mo lang yung moment ng getting to know.
08:53Kasi in the process, it would lessen yung fear.
08:56Baka kasi tayo, nami-miss natin.
08:58Maganda rin kasi yung getting to know yung stage before dating, no?
09:02Nami-miss out yung mga tao.
09:03Yung madi-discover mo, anong gusto niya?
09:06Anong gusto mo? Align ba?
09:08And when we miss this process,
09:10mas prone tayo sa anxiety kasi hindi na tayo nasa now.
09:13Nami-miss out mo yung moment na parang kikiligin ka, ganyan.
09:17So ano lang, let's...
09:19Lahat ng experiences in life, may phase e.
09:23Sabayan natin yung natural phase
09:26ng let's say getting to know and dating.
09:29Mas natural na yung process.
09:30So actually, kung takot tayo mag-reject,
09:33hindi tayo dapat iiwas.
09:34Diba, tama?
09:35Doc, diba?
09:36We don't run away from it.
09:37Okay, sige.
09:39Let's increase our odds of success
09:42para makontain natin yung fear of rejection.
09:46Sabi naman yung isa nating kapuso, Doc,
09:49as a girl, for girls daw,
09:52nakihiya ako mag-aya sa crush ko ng date.
09:55Siyempre, dalagang Pilipina dapat.
09:58Na-mention nyo kanina, yung gender roles.
10:00So let's talk about gender roles and making the first move.
10:04So, meron ba talagang gender roles?
10:06I mean, definitely.
10:07And now in 2024, puso pa ba yun?
10:10Maganda yung question.
10:11Nung panahon ata natin, mas matinday yung gender roles.
10:15But making the first move in dating
10:17can be really nerve-wracking, diba?
10:19Parang, ayan na nararamdaman mo.
10:21Lalo na sa culture natin na minsan
10:23may conservative na expectation sa babae.
10:26At kung saan madalas in-expect na lalaki
10:31usually nag-gumagalaw una, diba?
10:33But I think in today's world,
10:36after ano ba natutunan natin sa pandemic na
10:39we are not promised of tomorrow,
10:41I think it's perfectly okay for anyone to take that first step.
10:44So siguro, start with small gestures.
10:48Kung ikaw yung babae,
10:49hindi naman kailangan grand or dramatic yung first move.
10:52Pwede mag-start sa simple things like
10:54pag-initiate ng conversation, ng interest.
10:57Pwede mong start sa light topics.
10:59Tingnan mo yung interest, yung hobbies.
11:02Ang kailangan mo kasi i-build yung rapport or relationship.
11:06Kahit ikaw yung babae, okay lang yun.
11:10Importante rin siguro aside dun sa
11:13yung parang don't overthink the outcome.
11:16Minsan ano kasi, parang nasa worst-case scenario na tayo.
11:19Paano pag hindi ako gusto? What if nakakahiya?
11:22Pero remember, dating is actually getting to know people.
11:25Hindi siya lagi tungkol sa result.
11:28Ang focus dapat ay yung experience,
11:30yung experience sa learning process.
11:33So every interaction actually,
11:35kahit hindi kayo magkatuluyan,
11:36is an opportunity to grow and learn.
11:39So parang yung emerging theme natin ngayon, Dok Rhea,
11:41parang huwag natin palakihin masyado yung meaning ng dating.
11:46Na magnify, no?
11:47Oo, na suddenly, uy, kasal na yan.
11:49Or relationship na yan.
11:51Ang kulit din kasi ng kultura natin, Dok,
11:53kasi ineexpect yan, no, minsan.
11:56Totoo, kasi parang hindi naman natin mag-discount
11:58na parang guni-guni lang yan ng mga tao.
12:00Kasi mayroon talagang gano'ng expectation.
12:02And may mga ibang tao, sabi nila,
12:04bakit ako magdadate kung hindi marriage ang iniisip ko
12:07or ang outcome ko?
12:09And especially for a lot of parents.
12:11Diba gano'n yun?
12:12That's true.
12:13So how can we take dating seriously
12:16but not too seriously
12:18na tuloy ayaw na natin magdate sa takot?
12:21Ayun, minsan kasi kapag nag-overthink tayo,
12:24na ma-magnify yung real scenario.
12:26Okay, so maybe we put it as
12:29if parang na-overwhelm ka sa concept na dating,
12:33palitan mo ng pangalan.
12:34Like, ano lang ito?
12:36Bonding or nag-hangout kami.
12:38Until such a time na parang
12:40if it gets closer to a potential romantic relationship,
12:44then you could change the label again.
12:46Pero, mas, ano ka na,
12:48mas aligned na rin yung emotions mo,
12:50ready na rin yung thoughts mo with it, no?
12:53Pero yung ang daming incongruence
12:56na hindi match yung thoughts mo sa feelings mo,
12:59it gives you an erotic behavior, no?
13:02And doon ka na pe-pressure,
13:03doon sa concepto ng dating nga,
13:06na laging romantic,
13:07laging papuntang serious relationship.
13:11Pero magandang while you get to know,
13:13align ba kayo ng values ng dating, no?
13:15Or ng relationships for that matter.
13:17And at the same time,
13:19hindi naman sa ini-ignore natin,
13:21ano ba talaga yung gusto natin?
13:22I want a monogamous relationship at the end of it.
13:26Or talaga naman,
13:28I want my relationships to have a possibility
13:31na maging marriage siya.
13:33And in the same time,
13:35yung narinig ko sa inyo, Doc Rhea,
13:36na I think it's so important,
13:38parang we need to experience so we can learn.
13:41Kasi ang problema,
13:42pag meron na tayong fear of dating,
13:44fear of making moves,
13:46naisip ko nga term dito, Doc Rhea,
13:49yung torpe,
13:51yung ayaw talaga,
13:53yung ayaw talagang,
13:55you know, mag-make moves.
13:57Mag-try.
13:58Or minsan nga,
13:59naku-confess na sa kanila,
14:00di ba parang hinahain na nga sa kanila?
14:03Correct.
14:04Yung relationship.
14:05Gusto naman nila,
14:06pero natatakot sila.
14:09But if we keep avoiding,
14:11we can't get confident
14:13if we don't experience,
14:14tama ba?
14:15Yes.
14:16Siguro maraming negative experiences
14:19yung mga ibang tao,
14:20kaya may fear.
14:21Pero kung may fear kasi,
14:24pag pinalakas mo,
14:25let's say,
14:26yung social skills mo.
14:27Tingnan mo,
14:28bakit ka ba natatakot?
14:29Wala ka bang masabi?
14:30Di ba?
14:31So doon ka mag-improve,
14:32doon ka mag-upskill.
14:34So kung torpe ka,
14:35kasi parang hindi mo alam
14:36sa sabihin mo,
14:37then maybe you could improve
14:38yung conversation starters
14:41or social skills mo.
14:43And then,
14:44pag nakabisa mo yan,
14:46magle-lessen yung fear mo.
14:48So tingnan natin
14:49saan nanggagaling yung fear.
14:51Kahit na,
14:52kunyari may skill naman,
14:53pero pag nasa harap ka na
14:55ng crush mo,
14:56tameme ka na.
14:57So sabi ko,
14:58let's start with friends
14:59or let's start talking
15:00to people online.
15:02Just for the sake of talking.
15:04No outcome.
15:06Practice until masanay ka na.
15:08And then,
15:09pag mataas na yung skills mo,
15:11pwede ka na doon sa talagang
15:13gusto mong kausapin.
15:16Kasi siyempre,
15:17pag feeling mo,
15:18you only get one chance
15:19or a few chances.
15:21So practice makes perfect sometimes.
15:24And hindi naman ibig sabihin
15:26na magda-date tayo
15:27ng maraming tao.
15:29It just means,
15:30yun nga,
15:31yung conversation.
15:32Ano pa ba yung mga skills,
15:33Dok?
15:34Actually, speaking of which,
15:35ano ba yung mga skills na importante
15:36para talagang confident tayo
15:39at talagang mataas ang chance
15:41na we can be successful in dating?
15:44On top of my head,
15:45siguro yung active listening.
15:47Kasi nakahanap ka ng
15:49emotional connection,
15:50aside doon sa physical.
15:51So pag na-establish mo kasi ito,
15:53mas malalim and sustainable
15:56yung genuine relationship.
15:58So really listening
16:00and see,
16:01saan ba nanggagaling tong taong to?
16:03Yung genuine interest
16:05to get to know,
16:06that's something we could work on.
16:08So communication,
16:09siguro umiikot lahat
16:10kasi nag-e-establish ka nga
16:12ng relationship at this phase.
16:14So hindi pa yung parang mag-asawa
16:16sa tinginan ng gifts na nila, diba?
16:18So ito, kapag pa-umpisa pa lang,
16:20talagang yung communication mo
16:22should be on top of your list.
16:24Sa mga Pilipino,
16:25minsan kung may alam kang
16:27one or two na jokes,
16:29yung humor,
16:30it could lighten yung pressure.
16:33If you could also,
16:36yung parang ano ba yung gusto niya, no?
16:39Pwede mo rin tanungin, actually.
16:41Yung hindi na manggula
16:42and see where it goes.
16:44That also parang,
16:46yung naialala ko dyan,
16:47yung iba kasi,
16:48may anon silang mga misconception
16:50na kailangan one love at first sight.
16:52O dapat sobrang chemistry kaagad.
16:57Dapat napakadali kaagad.
16:59Sa umpisa.
17:01And so pag nahirapan,
17:03diba?
17:04And pag nahirapan ka,
17:05ay, baka hindi ito yun.
17:06Ay, baka hindi kami.
17:07Hindi meant to be.
17:08Oh, hindi meant to be kaagad.
17:11And the thing is,
17:12any relationship,
17:13even getting to know stage,
17:15friendship,
17:16lahat, kailangan ng,
17:17yun na nga,
17:18kaya siguro magtataka yung mga tao,
17:19bakit?
17:20Why are we talking about skills?
17:21Why are the psychologists
17:22talking about skills?
17:23Kasi natututunan din yan.
17:25And if you know how,
17:27parang, you know,
17:28parang you can support yung chemistry.
17:31Diba?
17:32Hindi yung napakapa.
17:33Meron ako kasi iba nagsasabi,
17:35diba, Doc?
17:36Una encounter mo,
17:38yun na yun,
17:39soulmate na,
17:40true love na.
17:41Parang medyo mataas naman yung standards natin.
17:43Sometimes that could happen.
17:45Diba?
17:46Wow, it's so easy.
17:47I don't need to work on it.
17:49And then, at times,
17:50kailangan i-jumpstart ang chemistry.
17:53Sabi mo nga,
17:54mga panimolang topics,
17:55icebreaker,
17:57mga jokes, ganyan.
17:59And then,
18:00maa-unlock na.
18:01Kasi, lalo na kung gustong-gusto natin yung mga tao,
18:04sometimes that can actually work against us.
18:07Kasi masyado tayong excited,
18:09hyper,
18:10medyo conscious.
18:11Diba, naku-conscious tayo?
18:13So, yung sinasabi niyo kanina,
18:15na napaka-importante,
18:16we're ourselves.
18:18Sometimes, when we like someone,
18:20diba, that's the most difficult thing to be.
18:23Yes.
18:24Oo.
18:25So, in terms of,
18:26paano naman sila makakapag-relax?
18:28Diba, parang,
18:29okay,
18:30gusto-gusto ko na siya.
18:32Pero ito, takot ako.
18:33High stakes.
18:34How can they relax
18:36para they can be themselves
18:37and mas natural?
18:38How can they relax?
18:40Actually,
18:41tingnan mo,
18:42bakit mo ba ito nagustuhan?
18:43And concentrate on,
18:46sa positive,
18:47sanay tayong dalawa,
18:48diba, Doc,
18:49na parang,
18:50pag clinical psychology,
18:51hanapin mo yung mali.
18:52Ano ba problema nito?
18:54Anong diferensya?
18:55Pero,
18:56you could also start,
18:57ano yung meron ka na?
18:59Positive psychology.
19:00Pag sinabi ba ang Rhea,
19:02sino ba ito?
19:04So, you could list yung parang top three traits mo,
19:08and then use it.
19:09Kasi you don't have to reinvent the wheel.
19:11Meron ka na nun.
19:12And you could start with what you have.
19:14And that gives you somehow confidence
19:16and relaxation na,
19:17okay,
19:18I don't need to try so hard.
19:19Kasi,
19:20ito na ako is,
19:21it could be a trait already,
19:23nakagislan mo na.
19:24So, it would come naturally.
19:25So,
19:26focus ka na dun sa meron ka.
19:27And then,
19:28Kuya, may assurance ka,
19:29na alam ko,
19:30mahilig kaming dalawa dito.
19:31So, this will be our comfort zone,
19:33diba,
19:34na conversation,
19:35na topic,
19:37sometimes,
19:38kunyari,
19:39alamin nyo rin sa sarili nyo,
19:40mas okay ba ako,
19:41pag may physical or active activity,
19:44while getting to know.
19:46Or,
19:47mas okay ako,
19:48in more introverted moments,
19:50diba,
19:51yung parang chill lang,
19:52and okay ako sa conversation.
19:53Kasi,
19:54kung hindi mo alam,
19:55hindi mo siya alam about,
19:56hindi mo alam magsarili mo,
19:58like,
19:59saan ako mas komportable,
20:00saan ako mas relaxed,
20:01saan ako mas confident.
20:02E di talaga naman,
20:04nakakatakot all around,
20:05kasi hindi mo alam,
20:06kung okay ka sa situation na yun.
20:08So,
20:09baka that's the first thing,
20:10before you even go on a date,
20:12while you're spending time with friends,
20:14classmates,
20:15family,
20:16ma-realize ba,
20:17okay ako dito,
20:18parang,
20:19ang gwapo ko dito.
20:20In other words,
20:21huwag kang sasabak na wala kang armas,
20:23diba,
20:24merong kang tools,
20:25merong kang support,
20:26parang hindi ka masyadong vulnerable na,
20:29okay,
20:30kaya mo,
20:31kayang-kaya ko to,
20:32bookstore,
20:33festival,
20:34okay ako dito.
20:35O kaya,
20:36you know,
20:37ano,
20:38sige,
20:39okay ako sa parang,
20:40fishball,
20:41street food,
20:42diba,
20:43kaya ko siyang i-tour.
20:44Okay ako dito.
20:45So parang,
20:46dapat,
20:47you set up the environment.
20:49And actually,
20:50ito yung advantage na ikaw ang mag-first move.
20:52Baka hindi pa natin napag-uusapan,
20:53diba,
20:54parang,
20:55kasi,
20:56kung passive ka,
20:57sila mag-invite sa'yo,
20:58di,
20:59yung advantage na ikaw ang mag-make ng first move,
21:01you can choose the environment.
21:03That's to your advantage.
21:05Oo.
21:06Oo nga, no?
21:07Kaya parang,
21:08mas,
21:09diba,
21:10sa chess,
21:11pag ikaw yung first move,
21:12ikaw yung white,
21:13advantage na kagad at some point.
21:14Nauna ka ng isang step.
21:16So that's a good way to put it,
21:18no, doc?
21:19Para hindi sila matakot or mahiya,
21:20kahit babae sila.
21:21So,
21:22parang,
21:23overall,
21:24sa experience nyo,
21:25helping people
21:26navigate,
21:27nga,
21:28these fears,
21:29and helping them,
21:30you know,
21:31to be confident
21:32in their relationship,
21:33ano yung,
21:34uh,
21:35meron ka bang overall advice
21:37for them?
21:39When it comes to the dating scene,
21:41siguro,
21:43reflect on your
21:45why,
21:46yung mga whys,
21:47know your whys.
21:48Kasi kung ang why mo is,
21:50dahil malungkot ka,
21:52then kapag masaya ka,
21:54hindi mo kailangan yung relationship.
21:56So hindi magtatagal.
21:57Kung ang why mo is,
21:59is to build,
22:00siguro,
22:01something more lasting,
22:03or companionship,
22:04or,
22:05yung feeling ng,
22:06ng emotions,
22:07then,
22:08mas lasting yun.
22:09So,
22:10if you know your whys,
22:11that's one step,
22:12no?
22:13Kasi,
22:14depende yun sa motivation mo,
22:15yung mga why mo.
22:16Yun yung una.
22:17Pangalawa,
22:18lagi tayong may needs,
22:20no?
22:21Ano ba yung needs ko?
22:22Kasi minsan,
22:23pag parang dun tayo kukuha ng needs,
22:25it might do more harm than good.
22:27Instead of developing
22:29yung sarili natin,
22:30and we get it from another person,
22:33pwedeng magkaroon ka ng,
22:35ng jowa,
22:36pero ang effect naman nun,
22:38naging dependent ka,
22:39or naging,
22:40hindi ka,
22:42parang ano,
22:43or yung iba naman,
22:44yung kung may narcissistic attitude,
22:46nagbe-blend doon sa iba, no?
22:48So,
22:49tingnan din natin yung mga needs natin,
22:51it has to go beyond,
22:53beyond that, no?
22:54Kasi,
22:55kailangan mang galing muna sa atin
22:56yung pag fill in ng cup,
22:58before,
22:59before considering another person.
23:01So, napaka-importante na,
23:03buuhin mo muna yung sarili mo,
23:05get to know yourself,
23:07so that you can feel ready,
23:09and confident,
23:10to get to know someone else,
23:12and perhaps,
23:13pursue something more,
23:15ah,
23:16with someone else.
23:17Nako,
23:18so yung mga takot sa,
23:19you know,
23:20making the first move,
23:22starting to date,
23:23parang, di ba,
23:24sabi nga natin,
23:25call it whatever you need
23:27to make you feel better,
23:28you know,
23:29more relaxed, no?
23:30So, getting to know you,
23:31hanging out,
23:33um,
23:34and ultimately,
23:35you know,
23:36mat,
23:37compatibility lang naman yan,
23:38let's not take it too much,
23:39di ba,
23:40too personally.
23:41Um,
23:42nag yes or no,
23:43and then with more practice,
23:45more skills,
23:46mas confident.
23:48Thank you, Doc.
23:49Uy, ang galing,
23:50may marami ako natutunan.
23:52Nako, thank you.
23:53Ako din, Doc.
23:54Thank you, Doc.
23:55Take care.
23:56Thanks for having me.
23:57Kung may gusto kayong pag-usapan,
23:59mag-iwan lang ng comment below
24:01or email us at
24:03sharecolang at gmainews.tv
24:06We're also streaming on
24:08Spotify,
24:09Apple Podcasts,
24:10and Google Podcasts.
24:12Thanks for tuning in!