Enough Robins to make David Attenborough blush.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Now, Gotham, given that it is only one city, has approximately a million too many heroes
00:05within it.
00:06You'd think that having Batman exist in a city would mean it was largely regarded
00:09as covered, right?
00:10But apparently not, as the place is a spandex hotspot even outside of the yoga meet at Robinson
00:15Park.
00:16And even when they leave, it seems that you can take the Wonder Kids out of Gotham, but
00:20you can't make them stay there, as countless former Robins and Rejects return to the scene
00:24of Infinite Crimes just to see if they can't finally get an iota of approval out of their
00:29overlord Batman.
00:30Spoiler alert here, you're better off getting blood from various stones.
00:33Between exiled birds, surprise superheroes, and individuals we all forgot existed, there's
00:37enough free labour working under Batman in Gotham that he's either legally a charity
00:42which would explain all the orphans, or should be paying a pretty hefty tax bracket.
00:47So what we're going to do today is take up the mantle of the Joker and take a look
00:50through his strange lens as to all of these oddities that are roaming the streets of Gotham
00:54and what he thinks of them.
00:55As I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com, and this is Batman.
00:58What Joker Thinks of Every Gotham Hero.
01:0115.
01:02Gotham and Gotham Girl
01:03Kind of wild that we spent so many years without any metahumans in Gotham's hero roster and
01:08then we got like three real fast, but the crazier their powers are, the easier they
01:12are to control.
01:13Well, that's what my boy Bane would have me believe, given that he managed to get Gotham
01:17Girl on his side after her poor old brother died.
01:20But hey, for a while we had bright shiny twin protectors of Gotham.
01:23Wasn't that great?
01:24Until one of them died horribly and gave the other some bright shiny trauma, of course.
01:2914.
01:30Huntress
01:31Ah, yet another of the Bat Clan to have been shot by the Joker.
01:34Actually, is Huntress even officially considered part of the Bat Family anymore?
01:37It doesn't seem like she's been invited to their family barbecues in a long time,
01:41possibly because she dropped getting dear old Daddy Bats' approval and instead went
01:45to hang out with the birds of prey.
01:47It's a savvy move, really.
01:48I bet they're less judgemental about the crossbow.
01:50At least in the reboot, they've let her have a bit of backstory involving Spiral as
01:54well, although that's a blessing or a curse depending on who you're asking.
01:5813.
01:59Batwing
02:00What's the only thing stranger than a superhero who takes a gap year, a superhero who takes
02:04a gap year, and never comes back?
02:06Now, it's not rare for the Wonder Kids to spread their little wings and head off to
02:09find another place to roost, but it's usually about as far as Bloodhaven, not all the way
02:14in Africa.
02:15That said, Batwing did come back, for noble purposes clearly, and definitely not to see
02:19if he still had a chance with Batgirl.
02:21Bless him though, he's got all the fighting abilities of Kratos, and yet the worst thing
02:24we've seen this one do is torrent a bloody film.
02:2612.
02:27Azrael
02:28You know how in friend groups, there's always that one kid who isn't quite friends with
02:32anyone but hangs out with them because they think there's a chance of getting free snacks
02:36from them?
02:37Well, that's Azrael.
02:38Now, the flaming sword is some great phallic imagery for sure, but it doesn't counteract
02:41the fact that the guy is a walking time bomb without any villainous interference.
02:45And where's the fun in that?
02:47If Batman gets offed by some jerk with anger issues and a magic piece of metal, people
02:51are going to be a tad disappointed.
02:53Especially with the new Azrael, they just seem to have gotten more and more villainous
02:56even if the armour does get cooler at the same time.
02:58Also, is the whole Azrael thing a little cult-like to anyone else?
03:02The Order of Purity sounds like they should be handing out promise rings, not creating
03:05human weapons of potential mass destruction.
03:0811.
03:09Batwoman
03:10Batwoman is less the mother of the Bat family, and more the aunt that you don't really
03:13see until you need bail.
03:15She's undeniably intimidating, but also often more than a little busy with her twin
03:20sister, a classy little super villain known as Alice, or Red Alice, or the High Madam.
03:25And when she's stopped being an issue, you tend to find Batwoman dealing with the more
03:28supernatural elements that old bats might go jump in the night at.
03:32Naturally, this is a little longer than your regular 9-to-5, so sadly she doesn't hang
03:36out with all the other spandex-clad dorks very often.
03:39Maybe that's for the best, though, all things considered.
03:4110.
03:42Signal
03:43Has anyone seen this human traffic light recently?
03:45Because I sure the hell haven't.
03:47Maybe Duke was too bright to be amongst the Bat family, but then again, given that Robin
03:51wore those bright green pixie shorts for an age, that does seem a little hypocritical.
03:55He saves the day, and then gets rewarded by being pumped away into a team literally called
03:59the Outsiders.
04:00Sounds like one of the Joker's plans more than one of Batsy's.
04:03Not that the Joker would miss this walking neon sign, but having a hero whose parents
04:07that he personally drove insane was quaint, if nothing else.
04:109.
04:11Spoiler
04:12Spoiler alert, she's alright, really.
04:14I mean, everyone loves a good trier, and god if this purple-clad wonder isn't one.
04:18Being a villain for a father can't be easy for anyone, trust me, and remember I'm playing
04:22the Joker at this point.
04:23Plus, you've gotta feel a little bad for her, given Red Robin's fun game of faking
04:27his own death.
04:28But feeling bad for her won't stop me, the Joker, putting her in another death trap,
04:32of course, but it's nice to keep the people at home guessing.
04:35Being a trier also doesn't change the fact that she did start the whole War Games fiasco
04:39as well.
04:40Bet that was a bit of an awkward dinner in the Bat's household.
04:428.
04:43Orphan
04:44Not trying to be mean here, but naming a member of the Bat family Orphan is just about the
04:49most on-the-nose nickname possible.
04:51It's downright cruel, really, and this is coming from the mind of somebody who has skinned
04:55more than one person in their time.
04:57Remember again, I am the Joker.
04:59But you know what?
05:00I kinda like this kid.
05:01Doesn't say much, is eerily good at fighting, could snap my neck seven ways to Sunday every
05:05time she's so much as sees me out the corner of her eye and doesn't.
05:08She really takes after her old man.
05:10Sure, she's a little OP to rock up in every Batman comic, but now Gotham and Gotham Girl
05:15have popped up with actual superpowers, maybe we could have her a little more, please?
05:18I just really need to see her beat up the Riddler one more time.
05:217.
05:22Red Robin
05:23If the various Bird Boys were a boy band, Red Robin would be the smart, reserved one.
05:28People who don't sleep much sense it in others, and it's clear from 20 Paces that this boy
05:32is running entirely on the vague memory of once, maybe, sleeping three months ago.
05:36Which, to be fair, is maybe because he came in to take the role of Robin after it got
05:40all covered in blood from little Todd's unfortunate demise.
05:44That kind of thing makes you sleep with one eye open, you'd have to guess.
05:47He definitely loses the game of not having a totally ridiculous name, though.
05:50I mean, aren't all Robins red?
05:52Maybe he's not the smart, reserved one after all in the end, unless he's being paid off
05:56by that burger company to have the same name, but getting a quick buck that way does seem
05:59a little less noble than this one would like to believe himself.
06:026.
06:03Red Hood
06:04Let me check I've got this one right.
06:06Jason Todd killed a ton of people, without remorse, and with a gun, and Daddy Bats just
06:11told him off a bit?
06:13He didn't take him to jail?
06:15Is there a number limit here, or can I just say a snazzy apology and get my cape and boots
06:19in the mail?
06:20Look, I'm not bitter or anything, but when I beat a kid half to death with a crowbar
06:24and then explode him, I sort of expect that at least he stays dead.
06:28But no, this one comes back to be a bad guy and then eventually get let off for all the
06:32murder stuff?
06:33Is there a free kill rule in the Bat Clan that I never heard about?
06:36Kill one bad guy, get off scot-free?
06:38That said, it does give me the opportunity to kill the guy twice, and when an opportunity
06:42knocks, you know I will always answer.
06:445.
06:45Batgirl
06:46Oh, and speaking of when opportunity knocks, moving on.
06:504.
06:51Catwoman
06:52Now, I'm not saying that many of my crimes may have been forgiven by Batman if he were,
06:55say, I don't know, entirely theoretical, in love with me, but Catwoman suggests that
07:00that might very much be the case.
07:02Worse still, I didn't even get an invitation to their wedding.
07:05Can you imagine the Joker not being invited to this?
07:08After all the moments that me and the Dark Knight have shared, I expected to be a best
07:11man, not utterly ghosted.
07:13This kind of stuff is why so many of the Robins have trust issues, you can be sure of that.
07:173.
07:18Nightwing
07:19Ah, the first Red Robin, bright and shiny, always with a quip, and more flips than a
07:23politician caught in a lie.
07:25Little Grayson always reminded me of myself, and remember, I am the Joker here, in a way,
07:30a way that encouraged me to try and kill him in increasingly elaborate ways, of course,
07:34but it's nice to connect with the next generation however you can.
07:36He may be doing his own thing in Bloodhaven now, but I'd like to stop in and catch up
07:40with him when I'm nearby.
07:41You know, get a coffee, catch up, mind control him into wanting to kill all of his former
07:45loved ones, just little things to show that I always will be there for him.
07:482.
07:49Robin
07:50Ah, the baby of the collective birds, who knew that so much anger could exist in somebody
07:54so small?
07:55It's nice seeing a sidekick who hasn't lost at least one parent, but then having
07:59a mother who's also a mass murderer isn't exactly ideal.
08:02However, the murderous rage it's instilled in this pint-sized brat is pretty grand.
08:07A calm and collected Batman and his raging murder tot?
08:10A glorious combination, and one I fully intend to utilise for, well, forever, really.
08:151.
08:16Batman
08:17You never really know someone until you've been their arch-rival for 80 years, killed
08:21many of their loved ones, hunted each other to the ends of the Earth, and also been on
08:24one sneaky boy's holiday around Europe.
08:27So long as there is a Batman, there will always be a Joker, and remember, that's
08:30me, even if it is an apocalyptic one where said clown's head is just in a jar.
08:34But at the risk of turning sentimental, who'd have it any other way, right?
08:38And there we go, my friends.
08:39That was Batman, what Joker thinks of every Gotham hero.
08:42I hope that you enjoyed this very silly video, and let me know what you thought about it
08:45down in the comments section below.
08:48As always, I've been Jules, you have been awesome, never forget that, and I'll speak
08:51to you soon.
08:52Bye.