Bryant Barnes stopped by the Genius office to break down his single “I’d Rather Pretend.” Produced by Andrew Luce, the track is a breakout single off Bryant’s EP VANITY. On today’s episode of VERIFIED, the singer-songwriter shares the inspiration behind the hit, his decision to pursue music over sports, how he found his sound, and more!
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00:00So, I started getting traction on social media from just playing covers on piano.
00:04And then eventually I was like, damn, this is kind of getting old, let's add some guitar
00:07to it.
00:08So, I picked up the guitar, started doing shallow Dynasty covers.
00:11That's when I discovered my voice, I guess, my unique tone, which people really resonated
00:16with, I guess.
00:17I started sort of just cultivating these new songs, this new type of feel for my music.
00:21And then that's when the labels was hitting me up.
00:23I heard a bunch of bad stories about labels and their relationships with artists.
00:28I was like, damn, if they're fucking with me, then I might as well just take this serious.
00:32So that's when I started making the type of music that I make.
00:40I was really into this girl.
00:42This was the first time I really felt sort of love for somebody.
00:45At this time, I was really just on go for basketball and my academics and really had
00:50everything going on at this time.
00:52So, I ended up just cutting it out because I didn't want to risk being hurt because I
00:55knew it would put me in a place where I'd be too distracted to focus on my career, I
01:00guess, as a basketball player.
01:01So I ended up cutting it off and she actually did feel the same way towards me, so it was
01:06sort of a case of self-sabotage.
01:08That's really what the song's about, it's just being too afraid to express your love.
01:26I started off with love.
01:31These thoughts that I'm having in the song are meant for her.
01:34It's coming from a place of, I've experienced disappointment so many times in relationships.
01:40At this point, I've already given up on love.
01:56I feel it in my soul that I really want to be with this girl.
02:01My heart's telling me, yes, but my mind's telling me, no, you've done this way too many
02:06times, you've been hurt way too many times, why would this be any different?
02:10My brain is holding up my heart from pursuing love.
02:25From the outside looking in, it's quite obvious that she feels the same way towards me, but
02:37in my head, I'm second-guessing everything.
02:39I'm like, what if she's just being nice?
02:41Is there anything you can do to make me feel like you do feel the same way towards me?
02:45Is there anything you can do to basically stop me from second-guessing myself, stop
02:50me from having these insecure thoughts?
02:55Tell me, is this real to you?
02:59Cause I can feel my heart again.
03:03You're so tempting, but I'm scared, so I'd rather pretend that I don't love you like I do.
03:14Cause I don't wanna hurt again, I wanna love you, but I'm scared, so I'd rather pretend
03:26I've just seen it a lot where people are like, if you wanna be something, you have to live
03:31like you are that already.
03:33In this case, I'm living like I don't have these feelings.
03:36I'd rather pretend, I'd rather pretend.
03:43Specifically, the song that inspired that was this song by X, where Shiloh was sampling.
03:54It was like, don't go, don't go to sea.
03:59I say it just resolves the idea.
04:02You don't wanna end on, I'd rather pretend, you wanna add to it a little bit.
04:07Just let it resonate, let it sit.
04:12Hoping you'll come back to me when you're gone.
04:16There's so many ways I've seen this going wrong.
04:20So many ways I've seen this fall apart.
04:26In real life, I chose the right and wrong path.
04:30I chose the path of ending it, which was the wrong path at the time, but it led me to making
04:37the song.
04:39Sophomore year, I think, I tore my ACL for the first time.
04:43My first week back, I tore it again.
04:45I was really down.
04:46I was really depressed, because I was talking to this girl at this time, and as soon as
04:51quarantine hit, as soon as I got her again, she stopped fucking with me.
04:55So I was like, fuck.
04:56I just went to my closet and I made my first song, and it was complete garbage.
05:01It was garbage.
05:02Nobody really cared.
05:03But my dad told me, keep going with this.