How Stoic Principles Make Them Miss You: Secrets from Marcus Aurelius & Epictetus

Vitues of Stoicism

Do you want to know how to make someone miss you, without playing games or chasing after their attention? Discover the Stoic approach to emotional independence and lasting relationships.   TAGS: #stoic #stoicresilience #stoicism #greekphilosophy #stoicphilosophy #motivation # stoicismquote #stoicquotes #stoicmindset

Transcript

00:00Imagine living in a world where your happiness isn't dependent on the affection you receive

00:04from others. In this world, longing glances, missed calls, and thinking-of-you messages

00:11don't dictate your emotional state. This is not a tale from ancient history,

00:16but a reality you can embrace today. Stoicism, an ancient philosophy that has stood the test of time,

00:25teaches us how to achieve inner peace and happiness regardless of our external

00:30circumstances. But how does this relate to wanting someone to miss you?

00:36In the realm of love and relationships, we often crave the attention and affection of others,

00:42believing that external validation is the key to our happiness. Yet, Stoicism offers a

00:49counterintuitive approach. By focusing on self-improvement, fostering emotional independence

00:56and appreciating the present moment without attachment, we inadvertently become more

01:01attractive and, ironically, more likely to be missed. In today's exploration, we delve deep

01:08into the Stoic way of living and loving. By embracing the principles of Stoicism,

01:14we can enrich our lives and transform our relationships in unexpected ways.

01:20Join me as we uncover how to make others miss you, not by playing games or strategizing every

01:25move, but by becoming a beacon of self-sufficiency and contentment. In our quest for happiness and

01:32fulfillment, it's incredibly easy to fall into the trap of seeking external validation.

01:38We often measure our worth by the reactions, opinions, and attention we receive from others,

01:43especially in personal relationships. But what if I told you there's a more empowering, enduring

01:49path to happiness? The Stoic path teaches us to focus on what's within our control,

01:55our thoughts, actions, and reactions, while accepting what we cannot control,

02:00which includes the feelings and behaviors of others. This doesn't mean becoming indifferent

02:06or emotionless. Rather, it's about recognizing that true contentment and self-worth come from

02:11within, not from someone else's approval or attention. Think about it. When we hinge our

02:18happiness on being missed or desired by someone, we give away our power. We become reactive to

02:24their actions or lack thereof, leading to a rollercoaster of emotions. Stoicism offers us

02:31the tools to step off this ride. By cultivating virtues such as wisdom, courage, justice, and

02:38moderation, we build a strong, resilient character that finds joy in self-growth and personal

02:44achievements. This doesn't mean we should isolate ourselves or stop caring about others.

02:51Stoicism doesn't advocate for emotional detachment, but for emotional resilience.

02:57It encourages us to form healthy, meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and

03:02understanding, not on neediness or dependency. Moreover, by prioritizing self-improvement,

03:10we naturally become more intriguing and attractive to others. People are drawn to

03:15individuals who are confident, passionate about their pursuits, and content with themselves.

03:21Ironically, the less we focus on making someone miss us, the more likely it is to happen because

03:27we're living our best, most authentic lives. Let's shift our focus from seeking validation

03:33to nurturing our inner world. Let's invest time in learning new skills, exploring new hobbies,

03:41and deepening our understanding of who we are and what we stand for. This journey of self-improvement

03:47is not only fulfilling in itself, but also makes us more admirable and, yes, missable in the eyes

03:54of others. The goal of Stoicism is not to suppress our desires or deny our need for

03:59connections, but to remind us that our happiness and worth are not dependent on them. By anchoring

04:06ourselves in the principles of Stoicism, we can enjoy a life of peace, satisfaction, and true

04:12independence. Let's embrace the Stoic way, focusing on self-improvement and finding joy within

04:19ourselves because that's where true happiness lies. At the heart of Stoicism is the understanding

04:27that our reactions to external events are within our control, even if the events themselves are not.

04:34This principle is incredibly empowering. It means that we hold the key to our emotional state,

04:40granting us a level of independence that's liberating. Emotional resilience, according to

04:46Stoicism, isn't about numbing ourselves to feelings or detaching from the world around us.

04:52Instead, it's about acknowledging our emotions, understanding them, and deciding not to let them

04:59dictate our actions. The Stoics believed in focusing on what we can control and letting

05:06go of what we can't. This isn't just a strategy for personal peace, it's a roadmap to emotional

05:13resilience. When we stop allowing external factors like the actions of others or societal

05:20pressures to influence our well-being, we cultivate a sense of independence that's both profound and

05:26practical. This independence doesn't mean isolation. On the contrary, it enables us to engage with the

05:33world from a place of strength and self-assurance. Consider the concept of emotional resilience in

05:39the context of relationships. Stoicism teaches us that while we can love and care for others,

05:45our happiness shouldn't hinge on their presence or approval. This perspective encourages us to

05:51build relationships on the foundation of mutual respect and genuine connection,

05:56rather than dependency or fear of loneliness. By fostering emotional resilience, we become

06:04capable of enjoying deep meaningful relationships without losing ourselves in them.

06:11Furthermore, Stoicism's emphasis on living according to nature and accepting life's ebb

06:16and flow reinforces our emotional resilience. It reminds us that change is the only constant

06:23and that our ability to adapt to this change is a measure of our strength.

06:28This adaptability doesn't come from a place of passivity, but from active engagement with our

06:33values, goals, and the pursuit of virtue. So how do we cultivate this independence and emotional

06:40resilience? It starts with self-awareness, regularly reflecting on our thoughts, emotions,

06:48and responses to life's challenges. It involves practicing gratitude, focusing on the present

06:55moment, and engaging in activities that align with our core values. Crucially, it requires

07:01us to challenge our perceptions, asking ourselves whether our emotional responses are based on

07:07current realities or outdated beliefs. In embracing Stoicism, we learn to navigate life's storms not

07:15by seeking shelter in others, but by becoming our own lighthouse. This journey towards independence

07:21and emotional resilience is not a solitary one. It's enriched by the wisdom of those who walk

07:27this path before us. As we incorporate Stoic principles into our lives, we find that our

07:34capacity for joy, our strength in adversity, and our ability to maintain balanced relationships

07:41all grow exponentially. The Stoic philosophers like Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and Epictetus

07:48often spoke about the importance of living a life aligned with one's own nature and the nature of

07:54the universe. This at its core is about recognizing what truly matters in life and dedicating ourselves

08:01to it. For the Stoics, meaning is found not in external successes or the accumulation of

08:07wealth and accolades, but in the cultivation of virtue, wisdom, and integrity. It's about

08:14contributing to the common good, engaging in community, and developing relationships based

08:20on respect and understanding. Creating a meaningful life involves a deep dive into our inner selves,

08:28asking hard questions about who we are and what we stand for. It requires us to identify our values

08:35and to live by them, even when faced with challenges or when it would be easier to simply

08:41go with the flow of societal expectations. Stoicism offers a compass in this introspection,

08:48urging us to consider not just our actions but the intentions behind them.

08:53Are we acting out of virtue or are we motivated by a desire for external validation?

09:00Moreover, Stoicism teaches us about the impermanence of external conditions and the

09:05importance of focusing on what remains within our control. This perspective is liberating. It frees

09:11us from the tyranny of trying to control the uncontrollable and directs our energies toward

09:16where we can truly make a difference, our own attitudes, choices, and responses to the world

09:21around us. In this way, creating a meaningful life is less about what we achieve and more about how

09:28we live and the mindset with which we approach our days. Embracing a Stoic approach to life also

09:35means accepting that suffering and setbacks are natural parts of the human experience.

09:41Instead of perceiving them as obstacles to our happiness, we can view them as opportunities

09:46for growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of the complexities of life.

09:52This doesn't mean we seek out suffering, but rather that we find meaning in overcoming it,

09:58learning from it, and moving forward with a strengthened spirit and a more compassionate

10:04heart. In practice, creating a meaningful life involves small daily acts as much as it does grand

10:11gestures. It's found in the kindness we show to others, the integrity with which we conduct our

10:17work, and the passion we bring to our pursuits. It's in the moments we take to reflect on our

10:24place in the universe, to appreciate nature, to engage in acts of self-care, and to foster

10:30connections with others. These acts, grounded in Stoic principles, weave together to form a

10:37tapestry of a life well lived. Let's remember that the Stoic journey towards a meaningful life is not

10:44a solitary endeavor. It's a path we walk together, supporting each other through shared wisdom and

10:50experiences. By anchoring our lives in Stoicism, we equip ourselves with the tools not just to

10:57face life's challenges, but to thrive amidst them, finding joy, purpose, and meaning in every step of

11:03the journey. The Stoics recognized early on that much of our frustration, anxiety, and even despair

11:11stems from our insistence on controlling the uncontrollable. We often expend tremendous

11:17energy trying to shape circumstances, outcomes, and even other people to our will, only to find

11:23that much of it is beyond our reach. This realization isn't meant to dishearten us.

11:30Instead, it's intended to free us from the self-imposed chains that bind us to unattainable

11:35expectations. Embracing Stoicism's guidance on relinquishing the desire for control doesn't

11:42mean we become passive observers of our own lives. Rather, it's about focusing our efforts

11:48on the arena where we can indeed make a difference—our internal world. It's in the realm of

11:55our perceptions, decisions, and reactions that we hold genuine sway. Here we can cultivate virtues

12:02like patience, understanding, and resilience. Here we can find peace. Letting go of control,

12:09according to Stoic philosophy, involves a deep acceptance of the natural flow of events.

12:15It's about understanding the difference between our efforts and their outcomes,

12:19recognizing that while we can strive to influence the former, the latter often falls outside our

12:26direct influence. This doesn't negate the value of effort. It merely places it in a healthier

12:32perspective. When we align our actions with our values and detach from specific outcomes,

12:39we engage with life more wholly and authentically.

12:43Moreover, this Stoic teaching encourages us to view each moment as an opportunity to practice

12:49acceptance and to grow in wisdom. It invites us to question our deep-seated beliefs about control,

12:56success, and security. In doing so, we often discover that our true strength lies not in

13:05exerting control over the external world, but in mastering our inner landscape. In practical terms,

13:13letting go of the desire for control means embracing flexibility and adaptability. It

13:20means being open to the unexpected, finding the courage to face uncertainties with a calm mind

13:26and an open heart. It's about learning to respond to life's challenges with grace,

13:31viewing them as opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery.

13:36As we incorporate this Stoic principle into our lives, we find that our relationships deepen,

13:42our stress levels decrease, and our appreciation for the present moment increases. We begin to

13:49understand that control is not the key to happiness. Balance, acceptance, and inner harmony are.

13:57Letting go of our desire for control, as taught by Stoicism, is not about relinquishing our power,

14:04but rather about reclaiming it in its most potent form. It's a journey towards inner freedom,

14:10marked by a profound transformation in how we perceive and interact with the world. As we

14:16embark on this journey, we uncover a life marked not by the external validation of control,

14:23but by the internal validation of peace, resilience, and a deep abiding sense of purpose.

14:31As we wrap up our exploration of Stoicism and its profound teachings,

14:35it's clear that this ancient philosophy offers more than just a set of principles.

14:41It presents a way of living deeply rooted in wisdom, resilience, and peace. Stoicism teaches

14:48us to focus on what truly matters, guiding us through the ebb and flow of life with grace and

14:54composure. The exercises and practices we've discussed are not just abstract concepts,

15:00but practical tools that can be woven into the fabric of our daily lives,

15:05transforming challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.

15:11In embracing Stoicism, we're not just learning to detach from outcomes beyond our control,

15:17we're also learning to cherish and fully engage with the present moment,

15:21to appreciate beauty and simplicity, and to foster connections rich in meaning and virtue.

15:28It's about cultivating an inner sanctuary of peace that remains steadfast no matter what storms may

15:33rage outside. This journey towards Stoic living doesn't promise a life free from trouble or pain.

15:41Instead, it promises something far more valuable, the strength to face adversity with courage,

15:48the wisdom to choose actions aligned with virtue, and the serenity to accept what we cannot change.

15:55It teaches us that while we may not have control over the external world,

16:00we have the power to control our perceptions, decisions, and reactions.

16:05As we incorporate Stoic principles into our lives, we find that our perspective on happiness,

16:11success, and fulfillment begins to shift. We discover that true contentment comes not

16:17from external accolades or possessions, but from living in accordance with our deepest values and

16:23virtues. In this discovery lies the key to a life of profound meaning and joy.

16:31Thank you for joining me on this journey at Stoic Journal,

16:34where ancient wisdom meets modern living. Let's continue to explore and grow together.

16:40For more insights, I invite you to watch one of the suggested videos on the screen.

16:45Until next time, remember, the journey inward is the most significant journey of all.

Category

Transcript

Recommended