• 2 months ago
The Monkey King (2023)
Transcript
00:00For thousands of years, Buddha oversaw the universe.
00:29And the immortal ones in heaven, and kings in hell, watched over earthly affairs.
00:39Demons walked among us, and dragons ruled the sea.
00:45Everything was in balance.
00:48We respected the gods and we followed the rules, until the night a magical rock gave
00:56birth to a powerful beast.
01:01Meet Trouble.
01:06Okay, okay, attention everyone.
01:24We have important business to discuss.
01:27I, your jade emperor, architect of the universe and lord of the immortals, shall throw the
01:32greatest, most fantastic banquet since the one we did last Tuesday.
01:38Doesn't that sound fun?
01:40Understood, your majesty.
01:42Now, seating arrangements.
01:43Place the immortal ones at my head table.
01:46Minor gods by the kitchen and back.
01:53What on earth?
02:08An uncontrollable monkey shooting light beams from his eyes?
02:13He's probably just excited, your majesty.
02:14Well, we can't have that.
02:16Get rid of him.
02:17Patience.
02:18Buddha!
02:19I didn't see you there.
02:22This monkey is a powerful being.
02:27He has an important destiny.
02:30Let him find his way.
02:33Very well.
02:34I mean, what's the worst it can do, right?
02:37Where were we?
02:38Ah, desserts.
02:39I'm thinking a ten-foot egg-top sculpture of me.
03:06A wise monkey never stretches beyond his grasp.
03:11Will you let go?
03:16As I was saying, if the coconut is meant for us, it will be within reach.
03:27Not today.
03:28Out of the light!
03:31No, no, no, no!
03:34We live in a world of rules and order.
03:39Observe.
03:40Think of my palm as our universe.
03:44Compared with this greatness, one is nothing.
03:49Only the immortal ones in heaven are free to live without rules.
03:55Know your place, young one.
04:00Ah!
04:01Ah!
04:02Ah!
04:03Ah!
04:04Ah!
04:05Ah!
04:06Ah!
04:07Ah!
04:08Ah!
04:09Ah!
04:10Ah!
04:11Ah!
04:12Ah!
04:13Ah!
04:14Ah!
04:15Ah!
04:16Oh?
04:17Ah!
04:18Ah!
04:19Ah!
04:20Ah!
04:21Ah!
04:22Ah!
04:23Ah!
04:24Ah!
04:25Come back here right this minute!
04:27Out of the light!
04:34Come back!
04:40Run!
04:41The demon is here!
04:42Ah!
04:43Ah!
04:45Whoa!
05:00Your recklessness drew the Demon of Havoc upon us.
05:05You don't belong here, outsider!
05:09Coconut him.
05:11No!
05:12No!
05:13No!
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05:14No!
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06:08No!
06:09No!
06:10Oh, too slow!
06:15Come, gather round, young one.
06:20Feel the safety.
06:28Feel your insignificance.
06:30Breathe.
06:31That sounds sober!
06:32You again!
06:33You're in danger!
06:34Follow me and...
06:41Ha-ha!
06:46I, uh...
06:47Thought that would play out differently.
06:54Come on, it's getting away!
06:56You fool!
06:57You think you're some kind of hero?
06:58But I can beat that thing!
07:00And save the baby?
07:01Sure, if there's time.
07:03With what?
07:04Coconuts?
07:05Coconuts are no threat to the Demon of Havoc!
07:08He could get a weapon!
07:09From where?
07:10Oh, I know!
07:11From the Dragon King!
07:12Yeah!
07:13The Dragon King!
07:14At the bottom of the sea!
07:16If you go out there, you will die.
07:20Says you!
07:22Crazy fool!
07:23One weapon!
07:24Coming right up!
07:33Come to the sea!
07:34Let's give it up for the...
07:36Metal Style!
07:38Overborn Overlord!
07:39With the sweetest vocal chord!
07:42The Dragon King!
07:44My loyal subjects!
07:49This grand column has stood here since the dawn of time.
07:54It has waited patiently for the mightiest, fiercest rebel,
07:58with the best style, of course,
08:00to free its monumental potential.
08:04That rebel is me!
08:08My gorgeous machine will unleash the column's power
08:12to create the greatest storm the world has ever seen!
08:23Wow!
08:28You talk?
08:30You've been waiting for me?
08:32How long?
08:33Well, five minutes is...
08:35Five thousand years?!
08:37The days when sea creatures are looked down upon
08:41by those air-breathing drylanders are over!
08:49You're looking for the most powerful being?
08:52No way!
08:53I'm actually on a quest for the ultimate weapon!
08:56What are the odds, man?
08:58There's gotta be some way we can help each other.
09:01If you were just a little smaller, maybe I could...
09:05Let our conquest begin!
09:08But first, a song.
09:10Ten to five, six, seven, eight!
09:16Is this part of the show?!
09:19What is happening?!
09:22Someone's stealing the grand column!
09:25Is that a monkey?!
09:28Ha ha ha ha!
09:32You are incredible!
09:37Excuse me, sire, but...
09:38Zip it! I have a column to make!
09:52I demand satisfaction!
09:54Oh, it's you. What is it? I'm busy.
09:56A monkey stole my grand column!
09:58So?
09:59So someone could do a lot of damage with that thing!
10:02Theoretically.
10:03You're a king, you handle it.
10:05I believe in you.
10:06Perhaps you could escalate this to...
10:10Big guy, delegate up.
10:12Ah, let's see.
10:13Dear Buddha, remember that stone monkey you said to leave alone?
10:17Well, he took a stick. We're all scared.
10:20Please save us!
10:21No, not happening.
10:23Very well.
10:24I shall take things into my own claws and woe to those...
10:30So it's the monkey who's the mightiest, fiercest rebel.
10:34With the best style.
10:35Yeah, and he swiped the one thing you need to take over the world.
10:39What a guy!
10:43Any other comments, input, friendly feedback?
10:48No? Then draw me a bath!
10:54The outsider's back!
10:57He didn't die, he got a weapon!
11:00He got a stick!
11:04We can do this, right?
11:12Hold on!
11:13What do you mean hold on?
11:23Ow!
11:26Wow!
11:39Shh! Stay here and keep a lookout.
11:45Just hang on!
11:54Grr!
11:59I am hurrying!
12:01If you're so smart, you do!
12:17Stick, where are you?
12:24Huh?
12:27Not that way!
12:30Wait, what are you doing?
12:39You're just making it angrier!
12:41Stop, Stick!
12:48Come back, Stick!
12:54Whoa!
13:02Oh yeah!
13:03Awesome!
13:04I get it now!
13:12Oh!
13:23Wave bye-bye to the nice kitty!
13:39Kitty God!
13:40Monkey King! Monkey King!
13:44Monkey King?
13:46Yes!
13:47I like it, it has a nice ring to it!
13:49The ultimate weapon for the ultimate hero!
13:53Enough, sir!
13:54You're a tiny pebble, remember?
13:57He doesn't love you!
13:59He just wants you to love him!
14:02You'll never be one of us!
14:05You're a selfish, rebellious fool
14:09who will end up all alone!
14:13I'm not alone!
14:15I have my stick!
14:17That weapon should be wielded by one of the immortal ones!
14:21So wait, you're saying I should be an immortal one?
14:25That's interesting!
14:27They do whatever they want up there, right?
14:29That's me!
14:30No rules!
14:31Me again!
14:32Best weapons?
14:34Uh-huh!
14:35Very much us!
14:36You're right!
14:37I don't belong here!
14:38I belong with them!
14:41They never accept the likes of you!
14:44I conquered a demon!
14:46You'd have to defeat a hundred demons
14:48to even get their attention!
14:51Oh, yeah.
14:53I suppose you're right.
14:55Of course I'm right!
14:57One hundred demons, coming up!
15:01Uh-oh.
15:14He's the handsome hero we all love and adore!
15:18He has demons screaming when he knocks on their door!
15:22He's a mighty fighter who is famous for his power!
15:27He's a mighty fighter who is famous for his power!
15:39What's the end you cannot escape when he hunts you down?
15:43He's the simple, he's the simple people who cry!
15:48He's the simian you can't shimmy into the dark!
15:52He's the simple, he's the simple people who cry!
16:08Ninety-nine demons down, one to go.
16:12Hey, hero here!
16:17Once-in-a-lifetime hero meet-up!
16:23Knock, knock.
16:27Where is everyone?
16:32Anyone need a hero?
16:34Shh, he'll hear you.
16:36He'll get us all killed.
16:38Name's Monkey King!
16:42A.K.A. the simian savior, A.K.A. the legendary demon slayer.
16:46And stickman.
16:47Our amazing skills include pole-fighting,
16:49punching, kicking, a kick-pole-punch combo,
16:52the double kick with or without stick,
16:54or the ever-popular fake kick with a spinning pole.
17:00Monkey King?
17:01I've never heard of you.
17:03Well, I've never heard of you either.
17:05This village needs one of the immortal ones.
17:08Not a monkey with a fancy stick.
17:10What? This dump counts as a village?
17:12He's just gonna make it worse.
17:15Get rid of him.
17:16Well, thanks for stopping by.
17:18I don't think you're getting how great I am.
17:20He's the real deal, folks.
17:22A living legend.
17:24I am. I mean, of course I am.
17:26If you've got a demon situation, this is your guy.
17:30Where did you even come from, kid?
17:32I've never seen her before, and I'm the mayor's wife.
17:35I know everyone.
17:36Well, you better get to know us.
17:38Unless you want to be demon dumplings.
17:41Oh, yeah.
17:42Okay, whisper time.
17:44Maybe the demon will eat the monkey.
17:47Or leave us alone.
17:48Either way...
17:49We win!
17:50Ooh, I like it!
17:52Brick!
17:53Brave warrior.
17:55My poor dear child was just kidnapped.
17:58Every rainy season, the horrible fire beast descends...
18:01Fire beast?
18:02That would be a hundred demons.
18:04I'm in.
18:05Okay, desperate peasants.
18:07Where's he going?
18:08Let's talk about my ascension ceremony.
18:10Ascension ceremony?
18:11Your what?
18:12My big victory party.
18:13How else would the immortal ones know it's time to come get me?
18:16Okay, I'll need a 35-piece orchestra.
18:18No!
18:19A hundred-person dragon dance.
18:20No dancing.
18:21And a huge fireworks extravaganza.
18:23My fireworks?
18:24Too expensive.
18:25Unfortunately, ours is but a poor rice farming village.
18:30Yeah, poor.
18:31How insulting.
18:32Come on, King.
18:33We're walking.
18:34Stop them!
18:35Please, won't you and your assistant reconsider?
18:38Assistant?
18:39I don't know this person.
18:40Who are you?
18:41Only your number one fan.
18:44I mean, this guy took down the white-boned demon, the red-boned demon,
18:47and the bone demon of no specific color.
18:49We could sing songs about you, and I'll give you a grand speech.
18:52And?
18:53Name a street after you.
18:55And?
18:56Oh, oh, oh.
18:57Big, fat, shiny metal.
18:58Of solid brass.
19:00Ooh, that one impressive.
19:02Okay, next up.
19:03What's in it for my trusty assistant?