The Three Badasses Who Want Me Short Drama
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:00:15Angela, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:18I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:00:23Now sign the divorce paper.
00:00:27Baby.
00:00:29I'll sign it.
00:00:31Here, don't look right at it.
00:00:36My lovely princess, I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from.
00:00:41I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:00:47You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:00:50I'm going. I need to pick up my bride.
00:00:53No!
00:00:55Prepare my warplane!
00:01:01What's the situation here?
00:01:03I want to marry you.
00:01:06Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:01:11What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:01:16Angela, my next-door neighbor.
00:01:19Still selling your hippie junk here?
00:01:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:01:24Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:26What's the point of watching the news all day about these moggles if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:01:31And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:01:36All right, everybody get out!
00:01:38We've got an important guest coming!
00:01:41I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:43I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:45I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:47I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:49I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:51I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:53You, get back here!
00:01:56You...!
00:02:01You deaf? I said pack up and scram!
00:02:04I've paid the stuff here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:02:07But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:02:11You want to say that again?
00:02:15You know who's visiting today?
00:02:17Elon friggin' Musk!
00:02:19One of the richest people in the world!
00:02:21Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her. Just know that you can't afford to piss her off
00:02:27Really?
00:02:28Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market
00:02:33You don't think that she could
00:02:36Be coming to see me
00:02:40Coming to see you
00:02:42Alright, you know what? I'll play your game
00:02:44If she does this so much as give you a glance
00:02:48I'll
00:02:49I'll eat dirt
00:02:51Deal
00:03:00Ellen Musk get to the flea market within 10 minutes or else you're fired
00:03:19Oh
00:03:24Prepare the limo miss Lockhart requires us immediately
00:03:34Your ten minutes is almost up good. Hope you don't wet your pants
00:03:49I
00:03:52Mean miss Musk Ellen, I mean, I'm sorry that I
00:03:58Sorry to frighten you
00:04:01How's my boss bitch kick an ass girlfriend? So, how do you like?
00:04:07She's my boss. Yeah, I prefer business partner or best friend
00:04:14No way
00:04:17Well
00:04:23No, no, no, I'm sorry for your boss no, I won't do it again
00:04:31We're not tyrants here
00:04:39Sir I found Angela Lockhart
00:04:47You mean Angela Lockhart, I don't know a bride
00:04:52You made me lose $1,000,000 it's just one game of poker. Who are you?
00:05:00Where's she
00:05:02Atlanta and you were right Lucy could leave her propping up Ellen Musk my clever bride
00:05:07I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to
00:05:10Oh
00:05:15Thanks prep the jet I'm heading to Atlanta
00:05:23Dr. Wilson having sterling's on the move. He's headed to Atlanta Atlanta. The game is afoot. I'm going
00:05:29Wait, dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan. He's a medic. He can wait. I need to pick up my bride
00:05:34Oh
00:05:39Dr. Wilson
00:05:45You know, I don't know who it is, whoo
00:05:49Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta
00:05:52Atlanta
00:05:54Where's that whatever prepare my warplane don't sue going after my fiance. This is war
00:06:05I
00:06:18Have secretly allowed your husband Jared Cooper to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to
00:06:24Thank you so much. Ellen. This is gonna be the best anniversary gift ever
00:06:29That project is worth billions. You can finally take his company public, but Angela
00:06:35my boss I
00:06:37Don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity
00:06:43Without your backing no offense, but he's nothing without you well three years ago
00:07:05You
00:07:15He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly
00:07:19I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress
00:07:26But now with this
00:07:28Contract I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public
00:07:33So that's why you have me secretly helping him, I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out
00:07:42But why work at the flea market are you
00:07:46Disguising yourself to test him. Well, these exotic spices are
00:07:51Incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find plus I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom
00:07:57You seem happy being a housewife
00:08:03Where the hell are you don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again get home stat
00:08:10It's a big day today
00:08:13That was my mother-in-law Carol
00:08:16She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family
00:08:20But she's gonna be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am
00:08:26You know, she even remembered a third year anniversary
00:08:34Please spend more time with my son
00:08:39I have a big announcement. I have to make finally you're back now sign the divorce papers
00:08:48Divorce papers
00:08:51Is this some sort of misunderstanding mom
00:08:54God
00:08:55Don't call me mom again. We're ending that relationship
00:08:59Just look at you dirt all over you're selling the title of mrs. Cooper you don't deserve my son
00:09:06You're way below his league
00:09:09I'm below his league. That's right
00:09:12You are
00:09:14Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk and then his company's going public
00:09:23That's how much he's accomplished in three years, but you
00:09:26You're still just a stinky hippie peddler
00:09:31Jared's like the king in the clouds
00:09:35You will always just be a pawn like dirt
00:09:41on our shoes
00:09:43dirt on your shoes
00:09:46But Ellen Musk works for me
00:09:49You're delusional you will never upgrade to a queen
00:09:53How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here
00:09:59Resorting to lies definitely not good enough for Jared
00:10:04Who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:10:10You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife
00:10:16Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee not a lowlife dirtbag enough
00:10:22Jared I knew he wouldn't divorce me, but I am
00:10:29Don't fight it Angela
00:10:31There's 500k. You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices
00:10:37Sign the papers take your check and leave don't embarrass yourself further
00:10:43I've done so much for you these past three years
00:10:48Did that not mean anything to you didn't expect you to be so greedy
00:10:54Fine here's another 200,000
00:10:59500,000 is too much for her already. She's done. Nothing hasn't even contributed a grandchild
00:11:05She just sells cheap grass all day. Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you I?
00:11:13Took care of both of you these past three years
00:11:17You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something and she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench a
00:11:26Hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO
00:11:29What a joke if you actually love my son you'll sign the damn divorce papers already and leave
00:11:40You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me let alone taking the company public
00:11:47I did everything for you Jared now you take credit for my son's success
00:11:58It's all my work
00:12:01baby
00:12:03We're gonna be late for the auction if we keep letting this
00:12:07psycho stall us
00:12:09You did say you would win me princess Diana's tiara didn't you?
00:12:14so
00:12:16She's the reason for the divorce
00:12:18She's worth more than you Angela
00:12:22Fine I'll sign it
00:12:26But don't regret it
00:12:29Regret
00:12:31You know who I am
00:12:33Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed. I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter
00:12:39Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad because he's business partners with Ellen Musk
00:12:48It's part of the power I have
00:12:52As an elite you can't do shit because you're poor
00:12:57Social stratum matters
00:12:59Yeah social stratum does matter
00:13:02And the Coopers are beneath me
00:13:05And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me
00:13:10Ha you're delusional now sign the papers and scram
00:13:20You dirty bitch you sick of me
00:13:23You dirty bitch you sick of me
00:13:32You hit me
00:13:36Now sign the papers take a check get the fuck out
00:13:54I don't need your penny money
00:13:59We're finished you don't want the money that's your loss
00:14:03Your check is just pennies to me, but I would like my ring back
00:14:09Oh
00:14:18Have fun on your economy flight while I catch right on my private helicopter out of here
00:14:29And I'm way out of your league
00:14:32Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring it's worth tens of millions of dollars
00:14:39Well, it's probably just cheap glass
00:14:42Something she found at the flea market. You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive
00:14:51Congrats Jared boo-boo. I'm getting rid of that dirt bag. Oh
00:14:55Congrats Jared boo-boo. I'm getting rid of that dirt bag. Oh
00:15:01My dad says there's gonna be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit
00:15:08Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk. Yeah, and nobody's met them, but I can introduce you
00:15:16Everything's thanks to you
00:15:26I
00:15:34Angela mr. Vanderbilt the richest man in Georgia wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding
00:15:39Vanderbilt yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies basically our employee. Okay. I'll meet about the summit tomorrow
00:15:45It's fine. Well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow that you and Jared Cooper are already divorced
00:15:51That's exactly why I'm going
00:15:55You
00:16:15Angela Lockhart, I
00:16:18Finally found you
00:16:20Who is he at that's Devin Sterling
00:16:24He's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list an early investor of crypto CEO of sterling enterprises
00:16:31Rumor has it he's worth trillions
00:16:33and he's
00:16:35your fiance
00:16:37What what my fiance the one and only?
00:16:43So after running away and leaving me single for three years
00:16:48I figured out how you're gonna make it up to me yet, babe
00:17:00That tiara looks perfect on you
00:17:06What is she doing here
00:17:11You skank my son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man
00:17:18divorce
00:17:20That's right, so I guess this was never meant to be mr. Sterling
00:17:30So she has to hide her marital status to find another man guess she's not just a forsaken woman
00:17:35She's also a stinky penniless whore
00:17:41How dare you insult my boss like that
00:17:45Fuck are you bitch?
00:17:47Do you know who I am?
00:17:50They don't know who you are
00:17:53You hide it. Well
00:17:55Next team teach these fools a lesson
00:18:00Teach these fools a lesson
00:18:06Sir you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York you forgot to bring the security team
00:18:18But if I borrow your men
00:18:25Chelsea's ill-mannered apes out. Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson
00:18:38Kiss as a reward my lady. No
00:18:48A
00:18:49Guest list is very distinguished tonight
00:18:52You've got bill Ford Harvey Buffett's old money like me
00:18:58gentlemen
00:18:59Harvey bill, this is Jared Cooper pleased to meet you all your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution. What an honor I
00:19:07Heard you secured the Maple Plaza project. That's worth billions of dollars
00:19:11Congrats you'll be next. Thank you, but we haven't received a contract yet. We deserve it hard. Oh, that's nothing
00:19:18I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk
00:19:21Vanderbilts and miss musk have always had a good relationship. So I thought I'd help the kid out pull a few strings
00:19:29Now we just have to impress miss musk special guest of honor
00:19:34Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest even wealthier than Ellen Musk
00:19:42We can just secure a position with his big shot. We can feast for generations
00:19:56Excuse me second children. What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:20:04How did hobo like you sneak in here
00:20:06Me a hobo
00:20:08How did cheating scumbag like you sneak in here sleep your way in I told you Angela Lockhart
00:20:14Don't bother stalking me. Nothing will come of it and it only sickens me further
00:20:23This is your ex-husband
00:20:27What were you blindfolded when you married him who the hell is this you were cheating on me
00:20:34Oh
00:20:45Son you have to avenge me and Kaylee that wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up
00:20:54They even took Kaylee's tiara
00:21:03You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee. Get your hands off her!
00:21:33It's...it's him! He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday. Who are these peasants?
00:21:53These seats are reserved for the Ellen Musk and her special guest. Oh, shut up old man
00:22:01You're disturbing the peace
00:22:06Fuckers you know who that is? That's Eric Vanderbilt. You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:22:12His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America. This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement
00:22:20Vanderbilt the father of that skank Kaylee Vanderbilt who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed
00:22:31That lonely Vanderbilt family?
00:22:33Oh god damn it! A stomachache now? Whatever Angela can handle herself she'll be fine
00:23:03How dare you call one of us low? I'm Harley Evan Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market
00:23:11I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only
00:23:16And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair
00:23:20Not with me around. I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen
00:23:27You're all just peasants compared to who I really am
00:23:30You're fucking delusional Angela. We've had enough of your games. Security! Break their limbs and toss them out
00:23:39Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you. But don't worry, you got new money here
00:23:47I can handle myself, thank you
00:23:50Yes my queen
00:23:52You're all despicable. An insult to your family names
00:24:00Now it's my turn to rule
00:24:04Destroy Jared Cooper. Cut off all business ties. And if you don't, I will take away all of your family's wealth and power
00:24:17I knew it! You're here to fuck with me. You can't fool anyone here
00:24:22How much money did you spend on that get up? And to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:26You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market. You have nothing and you will always be nothing
00:24:35She's a gold digger
00:24:37Gold digger?
00:24:39Gigolo
00:24:41Wanna try me for a night?
00:24:43Yeah, you're a little too pricey
00:24:45Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer
00:24:49They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest
00:24:51Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife. She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the maple plaza project
00:24:56I'm gonna kill that sushi chef
00:24:59Security!
00:25:04Security!
00:25:06You all don't realize that you actually all work for me. And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:25:12You!
00:25:14Insolent fools
00:25:16Let me guess, you're that special guest?
00:25:20I don't know
00:25:22Throw them out!
00:25:24And not without some broken bones too
00:25:33Back down ass
00:25:37I got this
00:25:49Whoa!
00:26:05What the hell are you two doing here?
00:26:08I thought we were supposed to guard you
00:26:10No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay
00:26:13Oh my god, we're so screwed
00:26:20Holy
00:26:24Angela!
00:26:26Don't hurt her
00:26:28You bitch, I've always been sick of you
00:26:30You just threw yourself at me
00:26:32How dare you insult my boss like that
00:26:34Boss?
00:26:36Did she say her boss?
00:26:38Miss Musk? That's Ellen Musk?
00:26:40That woman right there is Angela Lockhart, my boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune
00:26:46Their lineage is older than this country itself
00:26:49Back to the American Revolution?
00:26:51Back to the Renaissance
00:26:53If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is
00:26:56That's Lady Lockhart to you, she's royalty
00:26:59And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss
00:27:03What the hell did you do?
00:27:05Kneel to me
00:27:07Your majesty, welcome to the United States
00:27:12We've always been your loyal subjects
00:27:14Yes your highness, is it a queen or prince?
00:27:19It doesn't matter
00:27:21My queen, please forgive our insolence
00:27:24We didn't mean to offend
00:27:26What are you doing, idiot?
00:27:28Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness
00:27:41What rightfully belongs to you
00:27:44I don't know
00:28:00She's a badass herself
00:28:02He missed out on a good wife
00:28:04You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler
00:28:09Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time
00:28:11No, no, don't believe their lies, I worked hard for everything
00:28:15You worked for everything?
00:28:22Hi honey
00:28:24So, our 30th anniversary is coming up
00:28:27And I thought that maybe we can do something special this year
00:28:30I can't focus on anything trivial like that
00:28:32I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project
00:28:35And if I get it, I can take the company public
00:28:39Oh my god
00:28:42Oh my god
00:28:45You were nothing before me
00:28:48All your achievements, all your glory
00:28:51That's all mine
00:28:53Including the Maple Plaza contract
00:28:56I can take all of that away
00:28:59Just like that
00:29:01No, you can't take that away from me
00:29:03So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody
00:29:06Oh, and this antique wedding ring
00:29:09Yeah, I forgot to tell you
00:29:12It was Queen Victoria's
00:29:14And it's worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP
00:29:23No, I gave you back the ring
00:29:26I divorced a royal heiress
00:29:29No, no, please, no, no, please take me back baby
00:29:34I still love you
00:29:36Oh man, looks like they've started the party without us
00:29:39No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower
00:29:49God, these two again
00:29:51Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:29:54President Eisenhower's descendant
00:29:56After General Eisenhower won World War II
00:29:58Each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals
00:30:02The highest rank in the nation's military
00:30:03The highest rank in the nation's military
00:30:05Bloody buffoons know your history
00:30:07Sorry I'm late, babe
00:30:09I got lost trying to find Atlanta
00:30:11Then lost again on my way back to New York
00:30:17And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius Dr. Wilson
00:30:22He's Dr. House's protege
00:30:24Dr. House? I thought that was just a TV show
00:30:27Oh no, that's based on a real figure
00:30:29Yep, that's me, son of James House
00:30:31Dr. House, he's practically my uncle
00:30:34I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old
00:30:38So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 months
00:30:43And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop
00:30:51Hey Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:30:55Uh, they're all your fiancées
00:30:58What?
00:31:00Fiancées?
00:31:02Plural?
00:31:04Fiancées?
00:31:06Plural?
00:31:08Watch it, nerds! I'm her fiancé!
00:31:11No, I'm her fiancé
00:31:13You can both shut up! I'm her fiancé!
00:31:15It's you!
00:31:17It's me! Who the hell is he?
00:31:19I'm Spider-Man
00:31:21How are all three of these men my fiancé?
00:31:25Your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because you decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time
00:31:32She has three badass fiancées and she marries his dumb ass
00:31:39Whatever
00:31:41Since you're all here, help me finish him
00:31:46Since you're all here, help me finish him
00:31:51At your service
00:31:53Me too
00:31:56Oh!
00:31:58One down, two more to go
00:32:01She's become queen!
00:32:03Bishop to G4
00:32:07Ow! Ow! Ow! What in the world is that?
00:32:10The most germ-infested water in the Nile River
00:32:17Rook to A8
00:32:23Hello?
00:32:26I thought I was king!
00:32:28No, you wish. The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king
00:32:33Oh, fine
00:32:38Bankrupt to four, it's right this second
00:32:45I... I've been bankrupt! No!
00:32:50Who is...
00:32:56I've been bankrupt! No!
00:33:00I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate
00:33:05Well, guess what? Game over
00:33:07Alright boys, let's figure out this four-way engagement
00:33:11Oh, that's serious business
00:33:13I'm right with you
00:33:15Wait for me! Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:33:26Angela!
00:33:30You already have three fiancés?
00:33:33You can't accuse me of cheating
00:33:35I want compensation
00:33:40You greedy SOB
00:33:42Who the fuck is that?
00:33:44My ex-husband
00:33:46Wait, you were married?
00:33:48Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement
00:33:52More for me
00:33:53No, no, of course not, just...
00:33:56Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:58Don't steal my joke
00:34:00I can make him disappear without a trace
00:34:02All the evidence of your past with him is gone
00:34:05What? Is there something on my face?
00:34:07Yeah, murderous intent
00:34:10Let's remarry
00:34:12Let's remarry
00:34:14You still don't realize
00:34:17I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago
00:34:23I'm sorry
00:34:47Sir, it's an emergency!
00:34:49We need to wreck right away!
00:34:50Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse
00:34:54Okay, I'm on my way
00:34:58She should be okay now
00:35:03Hey you!
00:35:05Watch over her, I'll be right back
00:35:15You saved me
00:35:20Fuck! I unwittingly gave away my own wife
00:35:25Fuck! I unwittingly gave away my own wife
00:35:28You've cheated on me, you've hit me, and you've insulted me
00:35:33And after all that, I never want to see you again
00:35:37I fucking hate you
00:35:40And the lady black eye
00:35:42What now?
00:35:44Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person
00:35:49But if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project
00:35:53How about us three?
00:35:55Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you
00:35:58Yeah, no, you're all fired for trying to throw a coup
00:36:01But...
00:36:03This is your fault, you doofus!
00:36:05We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:36:07No, no
00:36:09We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts
00:36:14I'll get you for this!
00:36:23I never should have listened to you
00:36:25I'm ruined because of you!
00:36:40So, what's the situation here?
00:36:43I don't want to marry you!
00:36:53I don't want to marry you!
00:36:56Listen, I've only met you guys a few hours ago
00:37:00And I'm not interested in flash marriages
00:37:03But what if I told you that we've known each other for much longer
00:37:07Than just a few hours
00:37:09Much longer
00:37:13Angela, your parents would like to have a video call with all of you
00:37:21My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:25Look, your mother and I are in Italy
00:37:27The views here are absolutely stunning
00:37:30Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:32I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking, freeloader husband of yours
00:37:40Can't call his name, but...
00:37:42Anyway, congratulations!
00:37:44I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him
00:37:49You must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:37:53Let me do it
00:37:55You must choose one of them in seven days
00:37:58Otherwise...
00:37:59Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves
00:38:02Mom!
00:38:04Alright honey, that's it
00:38:06Bye! Bye!
00:38:11So, who are you going to choose?
00:38:16Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:21Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:26That seems greedy
00:38:30But...
00:38:32I can always remove the other two options
00:38:35Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too
00:38:40I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world
00:38:45Well, okay, no murder please, I was just kidding
00:38:50You have seven days to win her over
00:38:53Ooh, it's like the Bachelorette
00:38:56I know
00:38:57We'll start with challenge one
00:39:01Welcome to the show, the three badasses who want me
00:39:05Today, we have our first challenge
00:39:09What is all of this, Ellen?
00:39:13You'll see
00:39:21Oh my God! Oh my God! Cockroaches!
00:39:24Oh my God!
00:39:25Oh my God! Cockroaches!
00:39:27All women are afraid of cockroaches
00:39:30And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature
00:39:35What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single, but screaming her head off heiress?
00:39:50Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits
00:39:52It's up to the final two
00:40:18Crunchy
00:40:20That is sick cold
00:40:22When you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around
00:40:28There are two more left, want to try one?
00:40:31God, no, no
00:40:34Oh my God, save me
00:40:36Save you? You're going to save me
00:40:40I'm a germaphobe doctor, these hands can't get germs on them, they're for surgery and saving lives
00:40:52Woo!
00:40:57Woo!
00:41:01Thank God you're here
00:41:05Are you alright, honey?
00:41:07Angela!
00:41:11Alright, you won the first challenge, so your reward, you get to watch over her for the night
00:41:17Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean
00:41:19I'm not her scumbag husband, you have nothing to worry about
00:41:27Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything
00:41:31At least my girl can get some
00:41:33I bet her husband has a small dick anyway
00:41:37The cockroaches!
00:41:39They're gone, they're gone
00:41:41There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:44I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow
00:41:50I need a drink
00:42:00Whoa, easy, you're on an empty stomach
00:42:03Oh, why do you care?
00:42:05I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela
00:42:10You guys were right, I was blind from marrying that asshole
00:42:15You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him
00:42:21He never even loved me
00:42:23And I gave up my entire career for him
00:42:29Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:37You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in
00:42:42Wow
00:42:44What?
00:42:48You're number one here
00:42:55You know, we've known each other kind of a long time
00:42:59Lies
00:43:02You all just want something from me
00:43:09Angela
00:43:11I know it's hard to trust again
00:43:14But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from
00:43:20I'm the richest man in the nation
00:43:22I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections
00:43:29I just need you
00:43:33I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise
00:43:45Screw the contest, I just want love
00:43:50Angela
00:43:52You're drunk
00:43:54I'm an adult, can't I just go get what she wants?
00:43:57Okay
00:44:03But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing
00:44:07Well, they're not mutually exclusive either
00:44:15Okay
00:44:21If this is what you want
00:44:45Nine inch penis
00:44:47Morning to you too
00:44:50You sure you were drunk last night?
00:44:52A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her
00:44:58Well, glad you enjoyed it
00:45:01But don't tell Shane or Cole
00:45:04Because then they would
00:45:06Say that you were being unfair?
00:45:08Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules
00:45:11Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules
00:45:14I won the first challenge
00:45:16And according to Ellen, my prize was to spend the night with you anyways
00:45:21Don't make this any harder than it already is
00:45:27You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:31Stop
00:45:34Fine, fine, fine
00:45:38I won't tell
00:45:41But only on one condition
00:45:44I won't tell
00:45:47But only on one condition
00:45:49You have to go out on a date with me
00:45:53Fine
00:45:57I've had a crush on you since college, Angela
00:46:00You never noticed me
00:46:06You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you
00:46:11It's only 7 a.m. She's still sleeping
00:46:14Am I sleeping alone?
00:46:16Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second
00:46:21Morning, gentlemen
00:46:23Or shall I say roughmen?
00:46:25Oh, don't mind him
00:46:27What's up, guys?
00:46:29We're ready for the second challenge
00:46:31No cockroaches this time
00:46:33Yes, no more terrifying things
00:46:35That was my bad, Angela
00:46:37This better be a good challenge, Ellen
00:46:38I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one
00:46:40The second challenge is
00:46:42The second challenge is
00:46:44A date
00:46:46Lame, I should have asked for something else
00:46:48A date?
00:46:50That's it
00:46:51What's the catch?
00:46:52No catch
00:46:53Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most
00:46:56As simple as that
00:46:57I know what I want to do
00:46:58Let's start with me first
00:46:59Okay, who's up first?
00:47:01Me
00:47:02Save the best for last
00:47:04Ain't that right, Angela?
00:47:06Then it's decided
00:47:09Please, don't take my BMW away
00:47:12Too bad
00:47:14You pissed off the Lockharts
00:47:16I have nothing left
00:47:26It's that bitch who ruined me
00:47:31It's that bitch who ruined me
00:47:33It's that bitch who ruined me
00:47:43General Eisenhower, sir
00:47:45At ease, Lieutenant
00:47:47This is my lieutenant
00:47:48He also manages this boxing gym
00:47:50Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower
00:47:52You're so serious
00:47:53But, hang on
00:47:55Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet
00:47:58Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date
00:48:00So that I can introduce you to my guns
00:48:02Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:48:05Yes
00:48:07Murder weapons
00:48:27You like my guns, babe?
00:48:28Pretty Lockhart
00:48:30Yeah
00:48:32Let me show you what I can do with them
00:48:34Lieutenant!
00:48:35Come close
00:48:37Wait!
00:48:38You're just going to hit him like that?
00:48:39He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:41Fighting back would be treason, ma'am
00:48:43Treason?
00:48:44You guys are way too serious
00:48:46Look, you Lockhart bitch
00:48:48I caught you
00:48:49If I'm going down
00:48:50You're all going down with me
00:48:52Lieutenant
00:48:53Pistol attack
00:48:59Ah!
00:49:04Ah!
00:49:07You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:49:11I will make you pay!
00:49:15If you don't need to keep beating him up
00:49:16We could just take him to the cops
00:49:18Not when he tries to hurt you
00:49:26He's always a bit violent
00:49:28Some might call it being protective
00:49:30Poor anger issues
00:49:32What if we get married
00:49:33And I forget to use a coaster
00:49:34On an antique table or something?
00:49:36Is he going to be like
00:49:38Rough?
00:49:40Hey, some girls are into that
00:49:42I don't know if I am
00:49:45Well, maybe Shane will be your type
00:49:50Your date with Shane starts
00:49:52Now
00:49:55Hey
00:49:57Hey
00:49:59Cool ride
00:50:01A gift from the Chancellor of Germany
00:50:02When I saved his wife
00:50:04Impressive
00:50:08Your breath
00:50:09Smells like peppermint
00:50:11Refreshing
00:50:13I got cool mint too
00:50:15Or do you prefer
00:50:16Spearmint?
00:50:18What do you not have
00:50:19In this coat of yours?
00:50:21Fruit flavored gum
00:50:22I can't stand those
00:50:24So, where are you taking me?
00:50:26I don't know
00:50:33Dr. Wilson
00:50:35Our VIP of VIPs
00:50:37Right this way
00:50:38VIP of VIPs?
00:50:40Just some other guy I saved
00:50:42I forget who
00:50:43You saved a lot of people
00:50:45I do what I can
00:50:48Oh my gosh
00:50:50It's my gold digging neighbor
00:50:51Who just got dumped by her husband
00:50:54Sandra Miller
00:50:56What are you doing here?
00:50:57I just thought this was for the
00:50:58VIP of VIPs
00:51:00Your mother-in-law told me
00:51:01All about the divorce
00:51:02And how you hired some gigolo
00:51:03To beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up
00:51:07Hello of you
00:51:09What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:51:11Of course your bird brain
00:51:12Wouldn't remember
00:51:13I sell high fashion jewelry
00:51:14Pieces so high end
00:51:16You couldn't even afford
00:51:17Even a few soldier organs
00:51:20The auction begins
00:51:22I'll deal with you later
00:51:24Here, I'll just be one second
00:51:30Cameron
00:51:32I have a task for you
00:51:35Our next piece is
00:51:36Absolutely extraordinary
00:51:39Cleopatra's armband
00:51:41Sold by our vendor
00:51:43Sandra Miller
00:51:45For five million dollars
00:51:48Excuse me
00:51:49I'd like to donate
00:51:50This piece to auction
00:51:52It's Queen Victoria's ring
00:51:55I'd like to donate
00:51:56This piece to auction
00:51:58It's Queen Victoria's ring
00:52:00What are you doing?
00:52:01Just watch
00:52:08That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:52:11Please
00:52:12I'm an expert and that's a fake
00:52:14She probably got it
00:52:15At the flea market she works at
00:52:17You work at a flea market?
00:52:18Not this again
00:52:20Cut the bullshit
00:52:21That wouldn't even sell for five dollars
00:52:23Oh yeah?
00:52:24Here, you want it?
00:52:25For free
00:52:26Ew
00:52:27I don't want that trash
00:52:28From a stinky hippie peddler
00:52:31Well, that's too bad then
00:52:33Because you are the fraud
00:52:37What are you talking about?
00:52:38Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:40Throw them out
00:52:42Dr. Wilson
00:52:43I know you're a legend in medicine
00:52:45But we're professionals
00:52:47Oh yeah?
00:52:48And that armband
00:52:49Sells for five million dollars?
00:52:51Yeah
00:52:52Mine is the real thing
00:52:54You two are just upset
00:52:55Because you're too
00:52:56Poor
00:52:57To afford our luxury items
00:52:59Why is that so?
00:53:00When a so-called expert
00:53:02Failed to recognize
00:53:03Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:53:05Dear Lord
00:53:07This is real
00:53:09It's authentic
00:53:11It's Queen Victoria's ring
00:53:16Karen
00:53:17What have you found?
00:53:19Yeah, that picture of
00:53:20Cleopatra's armband you sent me
00:53:22It's a replica
00:53:25They had the same one
00:53:26Right here at the flea market
00:53:28So
00:53:30You are the fraud
00:53:32So you just went to the flea market
00:53:33So you can buy some fakes
00:53:35And Cameron
00:53:36How much are these fakes
00:53:37Being sold for?
00:53:39One fifty
00:53:40Wow
00:53:41Not even five dollars
00:53:43Sandra
00:53:45You've been duping us
00:53:46The whole time
00:53:48Arrest her
00:53:49No
00:53:50Please
00:53:51This is my time
00:53:52Please
00:53:54What's going on Dr. Wilson?
00:53:56Uh
00:53:57Investigating lead poisoning
00:53:58From cheap jewelry
00:53:59For the Emperor of Japan
00:54:00Bye
00:54:01Lock Callista
00:54:02From the jewelry industry
00:54:03Forever
00:54:12I had a really great time tonight
00:54:14Me too
00:54:16Bye
00:54:17Have a kiss
00:54:33Something wrong?
00:54:34Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:42Yep
00:54:43You never have to worry about
00:54:44Stinky breath from me
00:54:47Kiss
00:54:55You
00:54:56Owe us a bunch of money
00:54:58Cooper
00:55:00I don't have any money
00:55:01How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:55:04I guess
00:55:05You'll only pay up
00:55:09If I break your other leg
00:55:11Stop
00:55:13Mr. Vanderbilt
00:55:16Mr. Buffett
00:55:21This is the contract
00:55:22For the Maple Plaza project
00:55:23That's right
00:55:24Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you
00:55:27I knew Angelo
00:55:28Was still in love with me
00:55:30I knew Angelo
00:55:31Was still in love with me
00:55:32No, no
00:55:33So
00:55:34Sorry about those injuries
00:55:35From earlier
00:55:36It was all just
00:55:37A little misunderstanding
00:55:39Evening
00:55:40She was a little misunderstanding
00:55:42Yeah, we could be partners again
00:55:45And then maybe you can
00:55:47Tell Lady Lockhart
00:55:48Put in a good word for us
00:55:50Angela still loves me
00:55:51She's just throwing a fit
00:55:53She'll be back to me soon enough
00:55:55Yeah, do you need any help
00:55:56Winning her back?
00:55:58We can give you jewelry
00:55:59To give to her
00:56:01I was just sucking up
00:56:02To these pricks a few days ago
00:56:03And now they're all begging me
00:56:04To help them out
00:56:06It feels so damn good
00:56:07To be in power
00:56:09Sure
00:56:11I'll put in a good word for you
00:56:13I just need
00:56:14Anything
00:56:15You tell us
00:56:16We'll give you anything
00:56:17Once I take everything
00:56:18From these idiots
00:56:20I'll go after
00:56:21Angela Lockhart
00:56:23For my revenge
00:56:29I'm giving the contract
00:56:30To Jared Cooper
00:56:31Just like you asked me to
00:56:33While done
00:56:34He'll be fucked soon
00:56:36While done
00:56:37He'll be fucked soon
00:56:39I don't get it, Ms. Musk
00:56:40That contract
00:56:41Has a preliminary clause
00:56:42It requires him
00:56:43To pay 50% of the costs
00:56:44Up front as a deposit
00:56:46And if he can't, then what?
00:56:48He'll be bankrupt
00:56:49So as long as
00:56:50He's greedy enough to take it
00:56:53I'm avenging my best friend
00:56:55I want to show the world
00:56:56That without Angela Lockhart
00:56:58He's nothing
00:56:59He's nothing
00:57:06I signed
00:57:07The Maple Plaza Project
00:57:09We should celebrate
00:57:10You did?
00:57:12You see
00:57:13I know my son has it in him
00:57:14That skank Angela
00:57:15Is nothing next to you
00:57:18And it's all thanks
00:57:19To you, sweetheart
00:57:21Actually
00:57:22It's thanks to Angela
00:57:26What?
00:57:27You're trying to ditch me
00:57:28To go back to your wife?
00:57:30Oh no, no, no
00:57:31He's not
00:57:32Jared
00:57:33What are you doing?
00:57:34You have such a beautiful
00:57:35And bright future ahead of you
00:57:37Do it
00:57:38It's my decision, Mom
00:57:39I'm the head of the house here
00:57:42I'm telling my dad
00:57:43Fine
00:57:44Go right ahead
00:57:45He has enough problems himself
00:57:46If you're obedient
00:57:47I'll keep you around
00:57:48As his side piece
00:57:49But if not
00:57:50You can scram
00:57:52Dad
00:57:53Jared is being mean to me
00:57:55Teach him a lesson
00:57:56Kaylee
00:57:57Be a good girl, okay?
00:57:59Jared has the backing
00:58:00Of some very powerful people now
00:58:02Don't get on his bad side
00:58:04We can't afford
00:58:05To piss him off
00:58:06So do as he says
00:58:08But Dad
00:58:16I'm sorry
00:58:18I'll be your side piece
00:58:20Very good
00:58:21I'm happy you've come around
00:58:22Now let's go celebrate
00:58:27I mean
00:58:28Do I really want to be
00:58:29With Mr. Minty Mouth
00:58:30Forever, though?
00:58:32But that tongue action, though
00:58:34Tongue is important
00:58:35In more than just one spot
00:58:37Ellen, we are in public
00:58:38It's true
00:58:40Stomachache
00:58:42Again?
00:58:43I have to run to the bathroom
00:58:44Devin should be here
00:58:45To pick you up soon
00:58:48Devin's late
00:58:50Not a good sign for a date
00:58:54This hotel restaurant
00:58:55Has five Michelin stars
00:58:59It's her
00:59:00And she's alone
00:59:01With no one to save her
00:59:05You whore
00:59:06You seduced my son
00:59:07So he'd get back with you
00:59:12Let me tell you
00:59:14I would never go back
00:59:15Even if your entire family
00:59:16Got down on their knees
00:59:17And begged me
00:59:22Hey, you guys can fight
00:59:23All you want
00:59:25Whoever gets rid of her
00:59:26For me gets all this
00:59:28What?
00:59:29Why do I have to leave?
00:59:30She's the one starting shit
00:59:31Because I have money
00:59:32And you don't
00:59:33You're just a stinky
00:59:34Hippie peddler
00:59:36And my son just signed
00:59:37A 100 billion dollar contract
00:59:40He still got the contract?
00:59:42Hmm
00:59:43Must be Ellen's doing
00:59:45Even if he does sign it
00:59:46He doesn't have the liquidity
00:59:47To pay the deposit up front
00:59:49Oh, he's just gonna
00:59:51Bet you've never seen
00:59:52This much cash before
00:59:55Bet you've never seen
00:59:56This much cash before
01:00:00You take my charity
01:00:01And toss it in my face
01:00:03As if it's your own
01:00:05My maid wouldn't even pick up
01:00:06Such a pitiful amount
01:00:08One thousand dollars
01:00:09To take her away
01:00:11Two thousand dollars
01:00:12To drag her away
01:00:14Five thousand dollars
01:00:15To beat her away
01:00:20Oh, oh, hey
01:00:21Hey!
01:00:22Ow!
01:00:23Wake up!
01:00:26You okay?
01:00:27Are you hurt?
01:00:32Weakling
01:00:33You!
01:00:34You!
01:00:35Just a few days ago
01:00:36You found yourself a boy toy
01:00:37Right after getting divorced
01:00:39And now you have two more
01:00:40What a whore
01:00:42What a whore
01:00:43Yeah
01:00:44And Jared wanted
01:00:45To get back with her
01:00:47What if she has an STD?
01:00:49Oh, like sleeping
01:00:50With a married man
01:00:51Wouldn't give you an STD
01:00:53Let's go
01:00:54We'll expose her to Jared
01:00:56Hang on
01:00:58What do you want?
01:00:59I'll scream
01:01:01I don't hit women
01:01:02But I never said I don't kill women
01:01:06But I never said I don't kill women
01:01:10Oh God
01:01:11He is a murderer
01:01:12What if he murders me?
01:01:13Not him
01:01:14Definitely not him
01:01:20We're not afraid of you
01:01:22That's enough
01:01:23This isn't a war zone
01:01:25You'll be removed from being
01:01:26A five-star general
01:01:27If you hurt a civilian
01:01:28Without adequate cause
01:01:29I was just messing with him
01:01:31Was he though?
01:01:32We're not afraid of you
01:01:35Jared!
01:01:36You have to avenge us
01:01:37Look at this slut
01:01:38She's found two more boy toys
01:01:40She's cheating on you
01:01:41Don't get back with her
01:01:43Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you
01:01:44I apologize for this scene
01:01:46I'll talk Santa Party crashes
01:01:47Immediately
01:01:48So that you can go
01:01:49To your celebration banquet
01:01:50Who did you say
01:01:51You were going to toss out?
01:01:53Who did you say
01:01:54You were going to toss out?
01:01:55The party crashes
01:01:59Do you have any idea
01:02:00Who that is?
01:02:01That's my wife
01:02:03Save that title
01:02:04For the real skank over there
01:02:06That's right
01:02:07Know your place
01:02:08Shut up
01:02:09She's cheating on you
01:02:12Know your place
01:02:13You're just a side piece
01:02:14If I still want you, that is
01:02:16Eric, have you gone mad?
01:02:18This is Eric Vanderbilt's
01:02:19Only daughter
01:02:20You slap her for this whore?
01:02:22Mom!
01:02:24They really think
01:02:25There's something, huh?
01:02:26Angela's an heiress to a family
01:02:27Whose wealth and status
01:02:28Goes back to the Victorian age
01:02:30She's richer even
01:02:31Than Ellen Musk
01:02:33I only got the Maple Plaza project
01:02:34Because she gave it to me
01:02:37What?
01:02:39You apologize right now
01:02:40Or I will kick you
01:02:41And your father to the curb
01:02:49I'm sorry
01:02:51No
01:02:53This can't be
01:02:55I made you
01:02:56Divorce
01:02:59Go home
01:03:01You're not suited
01:03:02To come with me
01:03:03To my celebration banquet
01:03:09I apologize
01:03:10On behalf of my mother
01:03:12Honey, I know you came
01:03:14Here to celebrate my achievements
01:03:16I promise
01:03:17I won't bother you anymore
01:03:19I didn't come here for you
01:03:21I'm on a date
01:03:24A date with two men
01:03:25At the same time?
01:03:27She really is a whore
01:03:28Angela, please forgive me
01:03:30I really do love you
01:03:34Oh-ho!
01:03:35Lady Knockout is here
01:03:38Oh-ho!
01:03:39Lady Knockout is here
01:03:43Yeah, we already know
01:03:44You beat Ford's ass
01:03:46We're too old for that
01:03:48They're here for my celebration banquet
01:03:50Please, you gave me the contract
01:03:52So if anyone should go
01:03:54As my guest of honor
01:03:55It should be you
01:03:56Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart
01:03:58Join us
01:03:59We'll all be one
01:04:00Happy business family again
01:04:02What the hell are you all doing here?
01:04:04Where were you?
01:04:06Stomach issues
01:04:08Again?
01:04:09Would you like my diagnosis?
01:04:11No
01:04:13Let me make myself clear
01:04:15Okay?
01:04:16I would rather die
01:04:18Than be with you again
01:04:20Seems that they're not actually on good terms
01:04:24I can't lose face in front of these pricks
01:04:26Otherwise they'll cut me off too
01:04:28Angela, I know you're still mad
01:04:29But please give me a chance
01:04:30I'll prove it to you
01:04:32You want a chance?
01:04:34Angela, no
01:04:35You have three great guys here
01:04:37Who all want to marry you
01:04:38Don't take him back
01:04:40I'll give you two choices
01:04:42I'll give you two choices
01:04:46Me
01:04:47Or the contract
01:04:49You're kidding me
01:04:50No, I'm not kidding you
01:04:53If you choose me
01:04:55We can remarry this week
01:04:57But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract
01:05:01The choice is all yours
01:05:03That's a tough choice
01:05:05You think so?
01:05:06He either marries a royal heiress
01:05:08Or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon
01:05:10Either way, he benefits
01:05:12Why can't I have both?
01:05:14You really are a greedy bastard
01:05:16Angela, I saved you in the pool
01:05:18Remember?
01:05:19I deserve the contract
01:05:21Did you really?
01:05:26Look who's fashionably late now
01:05:29He didn't save her at the pool
01:05:31Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:34I choose the contract
01:05:37I know
01:05:38I choose the contract
01:05:40I knew it
01:05:41You'll get what's coming to you
01:05:44With this contract
01:05:45My company's earning potential is limitless
01:05:48Angela Lockhart
01:05:49You humiliated me in front of everyone
01:05:51I will get you one day
01:05:53Let me show you something
01:05:56You saved me
01:06:03You saved me
01:06:05I'm sorry
01:06:07If his lies led to you wasting three years of your life
01:06:11But I promise you
01:06:14I'm gonna make it up to you with the money
01:06:16I'm gonna make it up to you
01:06:18I'm gonna make it up to you
01:06:20I'm gonna make it up to you
01:06:22I'm gonna make it up to you
01:06:24I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives
01:06:26No, no
01:06:27I wasn't lying
01:06:28I just couldn't
01:06:30Can't remember exactly what happened that day
01:06:39Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:43What?
01:06:44Me?
01:06:45Dr. Wilson?
01:06:46Losing at saving people?
01:06:48No way
01:06:49You guys
01:06:50One of you
01:06:51Do something life threatening right now
01:06:53You're crazy
01:06:55And actually
01:06:57They've all been doing horrible shit behind your back
01:07:00What?
01:07:03Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings
01:07:06Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts
01:07:10Put it simply
01:07:11They've been stealing from you
01:07:13I can't believe I didn't realize
01:07:16Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry
01:07:18I should have had third party accountants check thoroughly
01:07:21No, it's not your fault
01:07:22They're just too slick
01:07:24You'd like me to punish them for you?
01:07:26Oh God, no
01:07:27Not that again
01:07:28Please
01:07:29Max
01:07:31You know what to do
01:07:45The banks have pulled all of our funds
01:07:47All business ties have been severed
01:07:49We're bankrupt
01:07:55How did you do that?
01:07:57Who are you?
01:07:58And don't say Spider-Man
01:08:02I'll tell you who I am
01:08:06I'll tell you who I am
01:08:10I am
01:08:12Crypto Punk number two
01:08:14What did he say he was?
01:08:15That's more bizarre than Spider-Man
01:08:18You're Crypto Punk number two?
01:08:20Well, I'm Crypto Punk number one
01:08:23See?
01:08:24You are number one at something
01:08:26The most expensive NFT collection in the world
01:08:29Forget Forbes' list
01:08:31It's all about young money now
01:08:33So, how about our date?
01:08:41I'm not letting anyone up me on this one
01:08:43I'll spy too
01:08:49They forgot to cancel my contract
01:08:52I still have the 100 billion dollar project
01:08:56Yes!
01:08:57I'm rich!
01:08:59I think I'll make them all pay soon
01:09:07What?
01:09:08Mr. Cooper, sir
01:09:09The Maple Plaza is on fire
01:09:11It's on fire
01:09:12It's on fire
01:09:13It's on fire
01:09:14It's on fire
01:09:15It's on fire
01:09:16Mr. Cooper, sir
01:09:17The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front
01:09:21Otherwise, it's a breach of contract
01:09:23And we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions
01:09:26No!
01:09:28I'm bankrupt
01:09:30I need a little lock card
01:09:32You tricked me!
01:09:39Allow me
01:09:43I'm sorry I was late, my queen
01:09:45I had to get some very important materials
01:09:49For our special date
01:09:51Well, cheers
01:09:53Cheers
01:10:02This looks good
01:10:08Did you use my spices?
01:10:11I know your ex-in-laws never appreciated you
01:10:16You can have all the money and power in the world
01:10:18And you still can't force a man to love you
01:10:23I couldn't even remember our anniversary
01:10:29Angela
01:10:31Your future
01:10:33With me
01:10:35Is gonna be different
01:10:37Come on
01:10:39Upstairs
01:10:46Come on
01:10:58Wow
01:11:00Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on
01:11:03These past few years
01:11:05Just because of some silly mistake
01:11:08Angela
01:11:10I've known and loved you for three whole years
01:11:14I've also loved you for three years
01:11:16That's right
01:11:18I fell in love with you three years ago too
01:11:20How is all of this possible?
01:11:23I didn't meet any of you until recently
01:11:26Well, actually
01:11:28Maybe Devon, but
01:11:31I've had a crush on you since college
01:11:34You were my motivation to go to business school
01:11:38Despite who you were
01:11:40You never judged me for being poor
01:11:44Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500
01:11:48In a suit like that?
01:11:52All you do is babble on and on about
01:11:55Internet money, Bitcoin
01:11:57And shit like that
01:12:00Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:12:04I'll teach you a lesson
01:12:07Hey, get away from him
01:12:09Angela
01:12:11Fancy girl
01:12:13I like her
01:12:24How is he?
01:12:26It's a rare poison
01:12:27Made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa
01:12:30Astragal, saltiphone
01:12:32Can it be cured?
01:12:33I actually think I know that poison
01:12:35It sounds really scary
01:12:36But its cure can actually be found in any developed country
01:12:39Household salt
01:12:47I like her
01:12:50There you go
01:12:52Time is up
01:12:55Oh shoot, I'm late for swim practice
01:13:04I like her
01:13:07We have been rivals ever since
01:13:09So that's how I, well, we all met
01:13:14I barely remember
01:13:16I should have never let you go to swim practice that day
01:13:19Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me
01:13:22He tapped you out of revenge
01:13:24You wouldn't have known
01:13:25I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark though
01:13:27If that makes you feel any better
01:13:29Yeah, I think that suits him a little better
01:13:32Angela, your seven days is almost up
01:13:35Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years
01:13:39Who will you pick?
01:13:45How can that be?
01:13:47Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:13:54Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt
01:13:58Bankrupt?
01:13:59The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:14:03Get out of here
01:14:05You can't do this to me
01:14:09Jared
01:14:10Mom, it's me
01:14:11What happened?
01:14:13Jared, I have carefully reconsidered
01:14:16Angela is way better than this dimwit
01:14:19You should get back with your wife
01:14:21We're bankrupt
01:14:22What?
01:14:26Jared Cooper
01:14:29We're here to propose to your beloved
01:14:33No one is going to save you now
01:14:36Mom!
01:14:40What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:14:47Who will you pick?
01:14:51I...
01:14:54I brought you fried chicken
01:14:56Fried chicken?
01:14:57Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar
01:15:00Yeah, he's right
01:15:01I did live in Atlanta for three months
01:15:03Sucking up last minute!
01:15:05At least I don't speak like an AI robot
01:15:07Hey, stop, stop
01:15:11Welcome back to the bachelorette
01:15:14I mean, the three badasses who want me
01:15:17I mean, Angela Lockhart
01:15:20You know what I mean
01:15:22You know what I mean
01:15:23Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:15:26Which one of our three badasses will she marry?
01:15:30Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:15:34Cole, the general?
01:15:38Or Devin, the CEO?
01:15:44Looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide
01:15:48Oh, the suspense is killing me
01:15:51But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:15:54Made from glass, imported from Venice
01:15:57And give it to our winner
01:15:59Angela
01:16:02Angela
01:16:04Oh, I...
01:16:07I need more time to think
01:16:13While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide
01:16:17Why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:16:20Let's check in with each of our candidates
01:16:23Let's start with Cole
01:16:25Cole
01:16:29There's not much to say
01:16:31Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:16:33Who has huge biceps
01:16:36A massive chest
01:16:38Who would protect their wife?
01:16:42Okay, thank you
01:16:45Shane
01:16:48Muscles, money
01:16:50They won't get you so far
01:16:52But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:16:54That has more than one way to keep a lady happy
01:16:57If you know what I mean
01:17:01Okay, I think we do
01:17:03And Devin
01:17:06That was quite disgusting
01:17:10I just hope Angela's okay
01:17:12I know she's going under a lot of stress right now
01:17:15A lot of choices to make
01:17:17And she's my queen
01:17:19I just really hope she's okay
01:17:21Now one more thing
01:17:23What kind of a doctor
01:17:25Brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:17:28That's a good point
01:17:29It's bad for her heart
01:17:32And then you
01:17:33What?
01:17:34You know what they say about military men
01:17:37They beef their wives
01:17:41Enough
01:17:45Stand up
01:17:48Hey, you guys
01:17:50Whoa, break it up
01:17:52Hey, break it up
01:17:58Cut to commercial
01:18:00Cut to commercial
01:18:11Oh my gosh
01:18:19This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life
01:18:24Who do I choose?
01:18:33Angela's marrying me
01:18:34But not stealing her from me
01:18:36Oh yeah?
01:18:37I may be adopted
01:18:39But like I said
01:18:40I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world
01:18:46What don't you have in that cup?
01:18:48Fruit flavored gum
01:18:49I won't let you take Angela away from me
01:18:51I'll fight you to the death
01:18:53Don't forget about me
01:18:55It's time I reveal my true identity
01:19:01These stupid profile cards don't make any sense
01:19:04They do not help
01:19:05Who made these?
01:19:09Who?
01:19:25It's time I reveal my true identity
01:19:30I'm actually a part of the X-Men
01:19:33And I have the power of
01:19:36Telekinesis
01:19:40Oh
01:19:52We may have to work together to take him down
01:19:56This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced
01:20:00I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up
01:20:04Hmm
01:20:05Wintermate or Coolmate?
01:20:12You know
01:20:14I've always really liked your hair
01:20:15Really?
01:20:17Yeah
01:20:18You know
01:20:19I've always really liked your hair
01:20:20Really?
01:20:21Yeah
01:20:22You know
01:20:23Really?
01:20:25I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it
01:20:28So I appreciate that
01:20:31Hey hey hey
01:20:32And you know
01:20:33Cool
01:20:34I've always really liked the way you talk
01:20:37Really?
01:20:38Yeah
01:20:42What do you got for me?
01:20:43I always
01:20:45Really like the way you chew gum
01:20:47Yeah?
01:20:48It's fresh right?
01:20:49Yeah
01:20:50You know
01:20:51Yeah
01:20:52You know you're actually
01:20:53A really good doctor
01:20:54Hey hey hey
01:20:55You need me to look at you?
01:20:57I got you
01:20:58Hey me?
01:20:59Angela's been kidnapped
01:21:01Angela's been kidnapped
01:21:04It was Jared Cooper
01:21:06That fucker
01:21:07We have to find her
01:21:08What how?
01:21:09Her ring
01:21:10Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case
01:21:13Well let's go then
01:21:15Bye mom
01:21:16My fiance
01:21:17My fiance
01:21:23Jared
01:21:28What am I doing here?
01:21:30You destroyed me
01:21:34I took everything
01:21:36What?
01:21:37I have nothing left
01:21:39It's not my fault you're too greedy
01:21:43Is it greedy to have sex with my wife?
01:21:46What?
01:21:47I'm not your wife anymore
01:21:49Oh yeah I know
01:21:50You wouldn't take me back now
01:21:51Not unless I get you pregnant with my child
01:21:53This is illegal
01:21:54You wouldn't want your child to be away from it's father
01:21:57You won't have me arrested
01:21:59You will take me back
01:22:03Come on bitch
01:22:06I'll settle you down a little
01:22:09Shh
01:22:16You will be begging me to fuck you soon
01:22:21Hey
01:22:23Angela come here
01:22:28We're too late
01:22:29I drugged her
01:22:30She'll be dead soon
01:22:31Not yet
01:22:32Have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:35He really does have everything in his coat
01:22:37Everything except for fruit
01:22:38Yeah except for fruit flavored gum
01:22:39We get it already
01:22:40Just save my boss
01:22:44Here you go
01:22:50You're all good now
01:22:51Oh thank god
01:22:53But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:55What?
01:22:56What are you going to do to me?
01:22:58Hey stop!
01:22:59No don't
01:23:02Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever
01:23:05Oh
01:23:09Glad we didn't actually have that fight
01:23:11Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all
01:23:19So who did you pick sweetheart?
01:23:21We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding
01:23:24The Prince of Bhutan
01:23:27And remember we will kill ourselves if you don't choose
01:23:35Welcome back to the finale of
01:23:37The Three Badasses Who Want Me
01:23:39We're down to the wire
01:23:41Literally
01:23:42The wedding day
01:23:43But who's the groom?
01:23:57Welcome back to the finale of
01:23:59The Three Badasses Who Want Me
01:24:01But who's the groom?
01:24:05Ah
01:24:06Seems our heiress still hasn't decided
01:24:10Any input from the parents?
01:24:12Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice
01:24:15Oh this is exciting
01:24:17Who should my daughter pick?
01:24:20Let me think
01:24:24I like the doctor
01:24:26He's cute
01:24:29But the general looks like a strong fellow
01:24:33And we can't forget about Devin Sterling
01:24:35The one who's loved her the longest
01:24:37Isn't that right Devin?
01:24:39Angela
01:24:46You are all three very fine gentlemen
01:24:51And I'm really grateful for all of your love
01:24:55But this was a really hard decision
01:24:59And I decided to devise one last challenge
01:25:05And I decided to devise one last challenge
01:25:13I'm just kidding
01:25:14I'm just as sick of this as you guys are
01:25:20Each of our candidates have saved our main character
01:25:23I mean bachelorette once
01:25:25They've all proven their undying love
01:25:28So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:25:32Literally
01:25:34Could it be
01:25:36The sexy and protective
01:25:38General with a temper
01:25:39Mr. Cole Eisenhower
01:25:46Or
01:25:47The fun, wicked minded
01:25:49But kind of weird
01:25:51Dr. Shane Wilson
01:25:55And last but not least
01:25:57Could it be
01:25:58The richest man of them all
01:26:00The man Angela would have married a long time ago
01:26:03Mr. Devin Sterling
01:26:08Gentlemen
01:26:10It's been a pleasure getting to know you
01:26:12It has
01:26:13May the best man win
01:26:15May the best man win
01:26:18Drum roll please
01:26:27He's hurt you down
01:26:29Never gonna run around
01:26:31He's hurt you
01:26:33Seriously Ricky
01:26:41I choose
01:26:52I need a powerful, strong man
01:26:54Who I really feel like he can protect me
01:26:58Who could resist those guns?
01:27:02Would it interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:27:04Would you like a full body checkup?
01:27:19Shane, it's you
01:27:21I'm lovesick for you
01:27:23You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:25Here
01:27:28It's that tongue action, ladies and gents
01:27:31Ellen, be my new queen
01:27:32Think of what we could build together
01:27:34Like guns, babe
01:27:47It's always been you
01:27:55Rick
01:27:57I'll always love you
01:28:01Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody
01:28:04Mr. Devin Sterling
01:28:05Would you like a full body checkup?
01:28:07Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:28:09I need fruit flavored gum for you
01:28:25I need a full body checkup
01:28:46I, Selene Lovett
01:28:48Accept my role as Nightwind's pack Luna
01:28:51And your wife
01:28:54I, Alexander Kane
01:28:56Fucking love you
01:29:12Wow, two alphas together