The Three Badasses Who Want Me Short Drama
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:00:15Angela, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:18I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:00:23Now sign the divorce paper.
00:00:27Baby.
00:00:29I'll sign it.
00:00:31Here, don't look right at it.
00:00:36My lovely princess, I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from.
00:00:41I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:00:47You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:00:50I'm going. I need to pick up my bride.
00:00:53No!
00:00:55Prepare my warplane!
00:01:01What's the situation here?
00:01:03I want to marry you.
00:01:06Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:01:11What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:01:16Angela, my next-door neighbor.
00:01:19Still selling your hippie junk here?
00:01:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:01:24Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:26What's the point of watching the news all day about these moggles if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:01:31And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:01:35All right, everybody get out!
00:01:38We got an important guest coming!
00:01:41I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:43I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:45I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:47I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:49I'm going to tell you what to do.
00:01:51We got an important guest coming!
00:01:55You!
00:02:00You deaf? I said pack up and scram!
00:02:03I paid the staff here already.
00:02:05And if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:02:07But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:02:10You want to say that again?
00:02:14You know who's visiting today?
00:02:16Ellen freaking Musk!
00:02:18One of the richest people in the world.
00:02:20Ellen Musk?
00:02:21Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:02:24Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:02:28Really?
00:02:29Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:02:34You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:02:40Coming to see you?
00:02:42All right, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:02:45If she does this so much as give you a glance,
00:02:48I'll eat dirt.
00:02:51Deal.
00:03:00Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:03:04Or else, you're fired.
00:03:19Prepare the limo.
00:03:21Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:03:30Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:03:32Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:03:35Five.
00:03:36Four.
00:03:39Three.
00:03:42Two.
00:03:44One.
00:03:46Two.
00:03:48One.
00:03:52Ellen. I mean, Ms. Musk. Ellen.
00:03:55I mean, I'm sorry that I...
00:03:59Sorry to frighten you.
00:04:01How's my boss bitch?
00:04:03Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:04:05So how do you, like...
00:04:08She's my boss.
00:04:10I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:04:14No way.
00:04:18Well?
00:04:23No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:04:25No, I won't do it again.
00:04:30All right, that's enough. We're not tyrants here.
00:04:39Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:04:45You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:04:47My runaway bride.
00:04:50You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:04:54Who are you?
00:04:58Where is she?
00:05:00Atlanta. And you were right.
00:05:02It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:05:04My clever bride.
00:05:06I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:05:15Max, prep the jet.
00:05:17I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:05:23Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move.
00:05:25He's headed to Atlanta.
00:05:27Atlanta? The game is afoot. I'm going.
00:05:30Wait, Dr. Wilson. The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:05:33He can wait. I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:39Dr. Wilson!
00:05:45Gino Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:05:48Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:05:51Atlanta!
00:05:53Where is that?
00:05:55Whatever. Prepare my warplane.
00:05:57Don't sue going after my fiancée.
00:05:59This is war.
00:06:15I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper,
00:06:18to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project, like you asked me to.
00:06:21Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:06:23This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:06:26That project is worth billions.
00:06:28He can finally take his company public.
00:06:30But Angela, my boss,
00:06:33I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:06:37without ever revealing your true identity.
00:06:40Without your backing?
00:06:42No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:06:45Well, three years ago...
00:06:48You saved me.
00:06:53He saved me.
00:06:55He saved me.
00:06:57No, I can't do it!
00:07:04You have to leave.
00:07:06Leave where?
00:07:08Next door.
00:07:10Just leave.
00:07:12He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:07:20I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of
00:07:23being with a billionaire heiress.
00:07:26But now with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally
00:07:32come out to the public.
00:07:34So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:07:37I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:07:42But why work at the flea market?
00:07:44Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:07:48Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:07:54Plus I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:07:58You seem happy being a housewife.
00:08:00Where the hell are you?
00:08:01Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:08:03Where the hell are you?
00:08:05Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:08:08Get home, stat.
00:08:10It's a big day today.
00:08:13That was my mother-in-law, Carol.
00:08:17She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower class family.
00:08:20But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:08:26You know, she even remembered our third year anniversary.
00:08:33Please spend more time with my son.
00:08:37Hi, I'm home.
00:08:40I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:08:42Finally, you're back.
00:08:44Now sign the divorce papers.
00:08:48Divorce papers?
00:08:50Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:08:54God, don't call me Mom again.
00:08:58We're ending that relationship.
00:09:00Just look at you.
00:09:01Dirt all over.
00:09:03You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:09:05You don't deserve my son.
00:09:07You're way below his league.
00:09:10I'm below his league?
00:09:11That's right.
00:09:13You are.
00:09:15Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
00:09:21And then his company's going public.
00:09:23That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:09:26And you?
00:09:27You're still just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:09:31Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:09:34And you?
00:09:35You will always just be a pawn.
00:09:39Like dirt on our shoes.
00:09:44Dirt on your shoes?
00:09:46But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:09:49You're delusional.
00:09:51You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:09:54How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:10:00Resorting to lies.
00:10:01Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:10:03And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:10:11You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:10:16Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:10:19Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:10:21Enough!
00:10:23Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:10:27But I am.
00:10:29Don't fight it, Angela.
00:10:32Here's 500K.
00:10:33You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:10:37Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:10:40Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:10:44I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:10:49Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:52I didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:10:55Fine, here's another 200K.
00:10:59500K is too much for her already.
00:11:01She's done nothing.
00:11:03Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:11:06She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:11:09Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:11:13I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:11:18Do you think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:11:22And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:11:26A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:11:30What a joke.
00:11:32If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:11:37And leave!
00:11:40You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:11:45Let alone taking the company public?
00:11:48I did everything for you, Jared.
00:11:51Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:11:58It's all my work.
00:12:02Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:12:10You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:12:15So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:12:19She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:12:23Fine. I'll sign it.
00:12:27But don't regret it.
00:12:30Regret?
00:12:32Do you know who I am?
00:12:34Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:12:38I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:42Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:12:47Because he's business partners with Elon Musk.
00:12:51It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:12:55You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:12:59Social stratum matters.
00:13:01Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:13:05And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:13:08And you really think Elon Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:13:13Ha! You're delusional.
00:13:16Now sign the papers and scram!
00:13:22You owe me.
00:13:24You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:13:33You hit me.
00:13:37Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:13:55I don't need your penny money.
00:13:59We're finished.
00:14:01You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:14:04Your check is just pennies to me.
00:14:07But I would like my ring back.
00:14:18Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:14:29And I'm way out of your league.
00:14:35Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:14:40It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:14:44Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:14:47Something she found at the flea market.
00:14:49You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:14:55Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:15:01Oh! My dad says there's going to be a secret big-shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:15:08Bigger big-shot than Elon Musk?
00:15:11Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:15:16Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:15:31Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:15:37Vanderbilt?
00:15:38Yeah. He's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:15:42Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:15:45You're still going to the summit tomorrow? You and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:15:49That's exactly why I'm going.
00:16:01Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:16:07Who is he?
00:16:09That. That's Devin Sterling.
00:16:12He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list and early investor of crypto,
00:16:16CEO of Starling Capital, and CEO of Starlink.
00:16:19I've heard a lot about you.
00:16:21I've heard a lot about you.
00:16:23I've heard a lot about you.
00:16:25I've heard a lot about you.
00:16:27He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list and early investor of crypto,
00:16:31CEO of Starlink Enterprises.
00:16:33Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:16:36And he's your fiancé.
00:16:39What? My fiancé?
00:16:42The one and only.
00:16:45So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:16:50have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:16:58That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:17:03What is she doing here?
00:17:08You skank.
00:17:11My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:17:16Divorced?
00:17:19That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:17:24Starlink.
00:17:27Devin Starlink.
00:17:30So, she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:17:33Guess she's not just a forsaken woman, she's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:17:40How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:17:44Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:17:47Do you know who I am?
00:17:50They don't know who you are.
00:17:53You hide it well.
00:17:56X-Team, teach these fools a lesson.
00:18:01Teach these fools a lesson.
00:18:07Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:18:11You forgot to bring the security team.
00:18:19Mind if I borrow your men?
00:18:23Toss these ill-mannered apes out.
00:18:27You bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:18:37A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:18:41No.
00:18:45Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:18:49You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:18:54Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:18:57Pleased to meet you all. Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:19:01What an honor.
00:19:03I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:19:06It's worth billions of dollars.
00:19:08Congrats. You owe me next.
00:19:11Thank you, but we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:19:15That's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:19:18Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:19:21So I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:19:25Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:19:27Now we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:19:31Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful gang.
00:19:35Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:19:38Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:19:47I'll do my best.
00:19:53Excuse me.
00:19:54A second, gentlemen.
00:19:56What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:20:00How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:20:03Me? I'm a hobo.
00:20:07Me, a hobo.
00:20:09How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:20:12You sleep your way in.
00:20:13I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:20:16Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:20:19Don't flatter yourself.
00:20:24This is your ex-husband?
00:20:27What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:20:30Who the hell is this?
00:20:32You were cheating on me?
00:20:37Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:20:41That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:20:46They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:20:51You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:20:55Get your hands off of her.
00:21:01My lady.
00:21:03My lady.
00:21:05My lady.
00:21:07My lady.
00:21:09My lady.
00:21:11My lady.
00:21:13My lady.
00:21:15My lady.
00:21:17My lady.
00:21:19My lady.
00:21:35My queen.
00:21:46It's...
00:21:48It's him!
00:21:50He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:21:53Who are these peasants?
00:21:55These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
00:22:00Oh, shut up, old man.
00:22:03You're disturbing the peace.
00:22:07Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:22:09That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:22:11You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:22:13His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:22:17This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:22:20Vanderbilt.
00:22:22The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:22:27who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:22:31That the Lee Vanderbilt family?
00:22:40Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:22:45Oh.
00:22:47Whatever.
00:22:49Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:23:03How dare you call one of us low?
00:23:06I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:23:12I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:23:16And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:23:20Not with me around.
00:23:22I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:23:27You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:23:32You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:23:34We've had enough of your games.
00:23:36Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:23:40Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:23:43But don't worry, you got new money.
00:23:48I can handle myself, thank you.
00:23:51Yes, my queen.
00:23:53You're all despicable.
00:23:56An insult to your family names.
00:24:01Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:24:04Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:24:07Cut off all business ties.
00:24:10And if you don't,
00:24:12I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:24:17Ha! I knew it!
00:24:19You're here to fuck with me.
00:24:21You can't fool anyone here.
00:24:23How much money did you spend on that get-up and to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:27You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:24:31You have nothing and you will always be nothing.
00:24:35She's a gold digger.
00:24:37Gold digger?
00:24:39Gigolo.
00:24:41Wanna try me for a night?
00:24:43Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:24:45Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:24:49They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:24:52Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:24:54She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:24:57Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:24:59Security!
00:25:05Security!
00:25:07You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:25:10And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:25:13You!
00:25:15Insolent fools.
00:25:17Let me guess, you're that special guest?
00:25:21I don't know.
00:25:23Throw them out!
00:25:24And not without some broken bones, too.
00:25:28Back down, ass.
00:25:33I got this.
00:25:58Angela!
00:26:06What the hell are you two doing here?
00:26:08I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:26:10No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:26:13Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:26:24Angela!
00:26:26Don't hurt her.
00:26:28You bitch. I've always been sick of you.
00:26:30You just threw yourself at me.
00:26:32How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:26:34Boss? Did she say her boss?
00:26:37Miss Musk? That's Ellen Musk?
00:26:40That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:26:42My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:26:46Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:26:49Past the American Revolution?
00:26:51Back to the Renaissance.
00:26:53If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:26:56That's Lady Lockhart to you. She's royalty.
00:26:59And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:27:03What are you going to do?
00:27:04Kneel before me.
00:27:06Oh, your majesty.
00:27:09Welcome to the United States.
00:27:12We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:27:15Yes, your highness.
00:27:17Is it a queen or princess?
00:27:19It doesn't matter.
00:27:21My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:27:24We didn't mean to offend.
00:27:27What are you doing, idiot?
00:27:29Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:27:41What rightfully belongs to you.
00:27:52She's a badass herself.
00:27:54He missed out on a good wife.
00:27:56You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:28:00Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:28:03No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:28:05I worked hard for everything.
00:28:07You worked for everything?
00:28:14I'm sorry.
00:28:16You worked for everything?
00:28:22Hi, honey.
00:28:24So, our 30th anniversary is coming up.
00:28:27And I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:28:30I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:28:32I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project.
00:28:35And if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:28:39Oh, my God.
00:28:45You were nothing before me.
00:28:48All your achievements, all your glory.
00:28:51That's all mine.
00:28:53Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:28:56I can take all of that away.
00:28:59Just like that.
00:29:01No, you can't take that away from me.
00:29:03That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:29:07Oh, and this antique wedding ring.
00:29:10Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:29:12It was Queen Victoria's.
00:29:14And it's worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:29:23No.
00:29:24I gave you back the ring.
00:29:26I divorced a royal heiress.
00:29:29No.
00:29:30No, please, no.
00:29:32No, please take me back, baby.
00:29:34I still love you.
00:29:39Oh, man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:29:42No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:29:51God, these two again.
00:29:53Did he say... Is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:29:56President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:29:58After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:30:00each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals.
00:30:03The highest rank in the nation's military.
00:30:05Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:30:07Sorry, I'm late, babe.
00:30:08I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:30:10Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:30:17And that there is...
00:30:18That is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:30:22He's Dr. House's protege.
00:30:24Dr. House?
00:30:25I thought that was just a TV show.
00:30:27Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:30:29Yep, that's me.
00:30:30Son of James House.
00:30:32Dr. House?
00:30:33He's practically my uncle.
00:30:35I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:30:37when I was just 12 years old.
00:30:39So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall
00:30:41somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 months.
00:30:44And I'm late because I ran out of gum
00:30:46and had to make a pit stop.
00:30:52Hey, Ellen.
00:30:53Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:30:56Uh, they're all your fiancées.
00:30:59What?
00:31:01Fiancées.
00:31:03Plural?
00:31:05Fiancées.
00:31:06Plural?
00:31:08Watch it, nerds.
00:31:10I'm her fiancé.
00:31:11No, I'm her fiancé.
00:31:13You can both shut up.
00:31:14I'm her fiancé.
00:31:16It's you.
00:31:17It's me.
00:31:18Who the hell is he?
00:31:19I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:21How are all three of these men my fiancé?
00:31:26Your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:31:29but I didn't tell you because you decided to marry
00:31:31Jared Cooper at the time.
00:31:33She has three badass fiancées and she marries his dumb ass.
00:31:40Whatever.
00:31:41Since you're all here,
00:31:43help me finish him.
00:31:47Since you're all here,
00:31:49help me finish him.
00:31:52At your service.
00:31:54Me too.
00:31:59One down, two more to go.
00:32:01She's become queen.
00:32:02Bishop to G4.
00:32:07Ow, ow, ow.
00:32:09What the hell is that?
00:32:11The most German fest and water in the Nile River.
00:32:17Rook to A8.
00:32:23Hello?
00:32:27I thought I was king.
00:32:28No, you wish.
00:32:29The king doesn't do anything,
00:32:31so Alan can be my king.
00:32:33Oh, fine.
00:32:38Bankrupt to four.
00:32:39It's right this second.
00:32:45I...
00:32:47I've been bankrupt.
00:32:49No!
00:32:51Who is...
00:32:54I've been bankrupt.
00:32:56No!
00:32:57I told you I would remove all of you
00:32:59from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:33:02Well, guess what?
00:33:03Game over.
00:33:04All right, boys.
00:33:05Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:33:08Oh, that's serious business.
00:33:10I'm right with you.
00:33:13Wait for me.
00:33:14Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:33:24Angela!
00:33:28You already have three fiancés?
00:33:31You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:33:33I want compensation.
00:33:38You greedy SOB.
00:33:40Who the fuck is that?
00:33:41My ex-husband.
00:33:43Wait, you were married?
00:33:45Yeah, and if that's a problem for you,
00:33:47then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:33:50More for me?
00:33:51No, no, of course not.
00:33:52Just...
00:33:53Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:55Don't steal my joke.
00:33:57I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:33:59All evidence of your past with him is gone.
00:34:02What?
00:34:03Is there something on my face?
00:34:04Uh, yeah.
00:34:05Murderous intent.
00:34:07Let's remarry.
00:34:09Let's remarry.
00:34:11You still don't realize.
00:34:14I only fell in love with you
00:34:16because you saved me from a heart attack.
00:34:18I only fell in love with you
00:34:19because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:34:22I'm sorry.
00:34:48Sir, it's an emergency.
00:34:49We need to wreck right away.
00:34:51Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:34:55Okay, I'm on my way.
00:34:59She should be okay now.
00:35:04Hey, you!
00:35:05Watch over her.
00:35:06I'll be right back.
00:35:16You saved me.
00:35:18Cough.
00:35:20Fuck.
00:35:21I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:25Fuck.
00:35:26I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:28You've cheated on me,
00:35:30you've hit me,
00:35:31and you've insulted me.
00:35:33And after all that,
00:35:35I never want to see you again.
00:35:37I fucking hate you.
00:35:40And the Lady Lockhart!
00:35:42God, what now?
00:35:45Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person,
00:35:48but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:35:53How about us three?
00:35:54Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:35:58Yeah, no. You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:36:01But...
00:36:03This is your fault, you doofus!
00:36:04We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:36:07No!
00:36:08No!
00:36:09We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:36:14Our families!
00:36:16I'll get you for this!
00:36:24I never should have listened to you!
00:36:25I'm ruined because of you!
00:36:40So,
00:36:42what's the situation here?
00:36:43I don't want to marry you!
00:36:53I don't want to marry you!
00:36:57Listen,
00:36:58I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:37:00and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:37:03What?
00:37:04What if I told you
00:37:06that we've known each other for much longer
00:37:09than just a few hours?
00:37:10Much longer?
00:37:14Angela,
00:37:16your parents would like to have a video call with
00:37:19all of you.
00:37:23My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:25Look, your mother and I are in Italy!
00:37:27The views here are absolutely stunning!
00:37:30Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:32I heard you finally divorced that
00:37:36good-for-nothing, blood-sucking,
00:37:38freeloader husband of yours.
00:37:40Can't call his name, but...
00:37:42Anyway,
00:37:43congratulations!
00:37:44I've selected three prime young men
00:37:47for you to choose from to replace him.
00:37:50Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:37:52Otherwise...
00:37:54Let me do it.
00:37:56You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:37:59Otherwise,
00:38:00we'll kill ourselves.
00:38:02Mom!
00:38:04All right, honey, that's it.
00:38:06Bye!
00:38:07Bye!
00:38:09So, who are you going to choose?
00:38:13Well,
00:38:15what if I want all three of you?
00:38:19Well,
00:38:20what if I want all three of you?
00:38:25That seems greedy.
00:38:31But
00:38:33I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:35I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:39Hey!
00:38:40I may be a doctor,
00:38:41but I can take lives, too.
00:38:43I know and have access
00:38:45to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:38:47Well, okay.
00:38:49No murder, please.
00:38:50I was just kidding.
00:38:53You have seven days to win her over.
00:38:55Ooh!
00:38:57It's like The Bachelorette!
00:38:59I know.
00:39:00We'll start with challenge one.
00:39:04Welcome to the show.
00:39:05The three badasses who want me.
00:39:07Today,
00:39:08we have our first challenge.
00:39:12What
00:39:13is
00:39:13all of this, Ellen?
00:39:15You'll see.
00:39:24Oh my God! Oh my God!
00:39:25Cockroaches!
00:39:27All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:39:30And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman
00:39:33from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:39:35What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love
00:39:39for our single woman,
00:39:40but screaming her head off heiress?
00:39:50Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:39:53It's up to the final two.
00:40:06Oh!
00:40:18Crunchy.
00:40:20That is sick cold.
00:40:22Hey,
00:40:23when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:40:24you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:40:28There are two more left.
00:40:30Wanna try one?
00:40:30God, no!
00:40:32No!
00:40:33Oh my God, save me!
00:40:35What, save you?
00:40:36You're gonna save me!
00:40:40I'm a germaphobe doctor.
00:40:42These hands can't get germs on them.
00:40:44They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:41:01Thank God you're here.
00:41:03Are you all right, honey?
00:41:07Angela!
00:41:11All right, you won the first challenge,
00:41:12so your reward,
00:41:14you get to watch over her for the night.
00:41:17Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:41:19I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:41:21You have nothing to worry about.
00:41:28Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:41:29it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:41:31At least my girl can get some.
00:41:33I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:41:38The cockroaches!
00:41:39They're gone, they're gone.
00:41:41There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:44I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:41:51I need a drink.
00:41:53Whoa, easy, you're on an empty stomach.
00:41:57Why do you care?
00:41:59I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:42:04You guys were right.
00:42:06I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:42:09You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:16He was the only one I could trust.
00:42:18I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:22He never even loved me.
00:42:24And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:42:30Do you really think that you would still be number one
00:42:32on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:38You may not be number one on Forbes list,
00:42:40but you know what you're number one in?
00:42:43What?
00:42:45You're number one here.
00:42:52You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:42:56Lies.
00:42:59You all just want something from me.
00:43:06Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:43:10I know it's hard to trust again.
00:43:13But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:43:20I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:43:21I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:43:29I just need you.
00:43:33I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:43:41Okay.
00:43:48Screw the contest. I just want love.
00:43:53Angela, you're drunk.
00:43:56I'm an adult. Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:44:00Okay.
00:44:05But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:44:08Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:44:20This is what you want.
00:44:389-inch penis.
00:44:40Morning to you too.
00:44:42You sure you were drunk last night? You wouldn't...
00:44:45A girl remembers when she's had a 9-inch penis inside of her.
00:44:51Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:44:54But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:44:57I don't want to.
00:44:59I don't want to.
00:45:01I don't want to.
00:45:03I don't want to.
00:45:05I don't want to.
00:45:07Because then they would...
00:45:09Say that you're being unfair?
00:45:11Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:14I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen, my prize was to spend the night with you anyways.
00:45:21Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:45:27You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:31It's not...
00:45:34Fine, fine, fine.
00:45:38I won't tell.
00:45:40But only on one condition.
00:45:44I won't tell.
00:45:46But only on one condition.
00:45:49You have to go out on a date with me.
00:45:52Fine.
00:45:56I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:46:00You never noticed me.
00:46:03Fine.
00:46:05You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:46:11It's only 7am.
00:46:13She's still sleeping.
00:46:14Am I sleeping alone?
00:46:15Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone with another man for another second.
00:46:21Morning, gentlemen.
00:46:23Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:46:25Oh, don't mind him.
00:46:27What's up, guys?
00:46:29We're ready for the second challenge.
00:46:30The second challenge?
00:46:32No cockroaches this time.
00:46:33Yes, no more terrifying things. That was my bad, Angela.
00:46:37This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:46:39I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:46:41The second challenge is...
00:46:43The second challenge is...
00:46:45A date.
00:46:46Lame. I should have asked for something else.
00:46:48A date?
00:46:50That's it.
00:46:51What's the catch?
00:46:52No catch.
00:46:53Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:46:56As simple as that.
00:46:57I know what I want to do.
00:46:58Let's start with me first.
00:46:59Okay. Who's up first? Ben?
00:47:01Me.
00:47:02Saved the best for last.
00:47:04Ain't that right, Angela?
00:47:06Then it's decided.
00:47:10Please don't take my BMW away!
00:47:14Too bad. You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:47:17I have nothing left!
00:47:19I have nothing left!
00:47:28It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:33It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:43General Eisenhower, sir!
00:47:45At ease, Lieutenant!
00:47:47This is my lieutenant.
00:47:48He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:50Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower!
00:47:52He's so serious.
00:47:53But, hang on.
00:47:55Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:47:58Baby!
00:47:59I decided to take you here on our first date
00:48:01so that I can introduce you to my guns!
00:48:03Guns? Like...
00:48:04murder weapons?
00:48:06Yes.
00:48:07Murder weapons.
00:48:19Like my guns, babe?
00:48:21Pretty rock hard.
00:48:22Yeah.
00:48:24Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:48:26Lieutenant!
00:48:27Come close!
00:48:29Wait!
00:48:30You're just going to hit him like that?
00:48:31He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:32Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:48:34Treason?
00:48:35You guys are way too serious.
00:48:38Look at you!
00:48:39You're a real piece of shit!
00:48:41You're a real piece of shit!
00:48:42You're a real piece of shit!
00:48:43You're a real piece of shit!
00:48:44You're a real piece of shit!
00:48:45You're a real piece of shit!
00:48:46You're a real piece of shit!
00:48:48Look you rock hard bitch!
00:48:49I caught you!
00:48:50If I'm going down,
00:48:51you're all going down with me!
00:48:53Lieutenant!
00:48:54Here's your attack!
00:49:07You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:49:12I will make you pay!
00:49:14If you don't need to keep beating him up,
00:49:16we could just take him to the cops.
00:49:18Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:49:26He's always a bit violent.
00:49:27Some might call it being protective.
00:49:30Poor anger issues.
00:49:31What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster
00:49:34on an antique table or something?
00:49:36Is he going to be like, rough?
00:49:39Hey, some girls are into that.
00:49:41I don't know if I am.
00:49:44Well maybe Shane will be your type.
00:49:49Your date with Shane starts now.
00:49:54Hey.
00:49:56Hey.
00:49:57Cool ride.
00:49:59A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:50:02Impressive.
00:50:06Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:50:09Refreshing.
00:50:10I got cool mint too.
00:50:12Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:50:15What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:50:18Fruit flavored gum.
00:50:19I can't stand those.
00:50:21So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:50:23Let me show you.
00:50:31Dr. Wilson!
00:50:33Our VIP of VIPs!
00:50:35Right this way.
00:50:36VIP of VIPs.
00:50:37Right this way.
00:50:38VIP of VIPs.
00:50:40Just some other guy I saved.
00:50:41I forget who.
00:50:43You saved a lot of people.
00:50:45I do what I can.
00:50:47Oh my gosh.
00:50:49It's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:50:54Sandra Miller.
00:50:55What are you doing here?
00:50:56I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:50:59Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:51:01and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:51:07Hello of you.
00:51:09What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:51:10Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:51:13I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high end,
00:51:16you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:51:19The auction begins.
00:51:21I'll deal with you later.
00:51:24Here, I'll just be one second.
00:51:31Cameron.
00:51:32I have a task for you.
00:51:33Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:51:37Cleopatra's armband.
00:51:39Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:51:43For five million dollars.
00:51:46Excuse me.
00:51:48I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:50It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:53I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:56It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:58What are you doing?
00:52:00Just watch.
00:52:01Just watch.
00:52:03Come on.
00:52:08That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:52:11Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:52:14She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:52:17You work at a flea market?
00:52:18Not this again.
00:52:20Cut the bullshit, that wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:52:23Oh yeah?
00:52:24Here, you want it?
00:52:25For free.
00:52:26Ew, I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:52:30Well, that's too bad then.
00:52:32Because you are the fraud.
00:52:36What are you talking about?
00:52:37Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:39Throw them out.
00:52:41Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine.
00:52:44But we're professionals.
00:52:46Oh yeah?
00:52:48And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:52:51Yeah.
00:52:52Mine is the real thing.
00:52:54You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:52:59Why is that so?
00:53:00When a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:53:05Dear Lord.
00:53:07This is real.
00:53:09It's authentic.
00:53:10It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:53:16Karen, what have you found?
00:53:18Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:53:21It's a replica.
00:53:24They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:53:26So...
00:53:28You are the fraud.
00:53:30You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:53:33And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:37150.
00:53:38Wow.
00:53:39Not even five dollars.
00:53:41Sandra.
00:53:42You've been duping us the whole time?
00:53:46Arrest her!
00:53:47No!
00:53:48Please!
00:53:49This is my time!
00:53:50Please!
00:53:51What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:53:53Investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:53:56Bye.
00:53:57Black Callista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:54:09I had a really great time tonight.
00:54:11Me too.
00:54:13May I have a kiss?
00:54:23No.
00:54:33Something wrong?
00:54:34Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:42Yep.
00:54:43You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:54:54You...
00:54:56owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:54:59I don't have any money.
00:55:00How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:55:04I guess you'll only pay up...
00:55:08if I break your other leg.
00:55:10Stop!
00:55:15Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:55:18Mr. Buffett.
00:55:24This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:26That's right.
00:55:27Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:55:30I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:33I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:35No, no, sir.
00:55:36Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:55:38It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:55:41Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:55:45And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:55:50Angela still loves me.
00:55:51She's just throwing a fit.
00:55:53She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:55:54Yeah.
00:55:55Do you need any help winning her back?
00:55:57We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:56:00I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:56:03and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:56:05It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:56:09Sure.
00:56:10I'll put in a good word for you.
00:56:12I just need...
00:56:13Anything.
00:56:14You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:56:16Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:56:19I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:56:28I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:56:32Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:56:36Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:56:38I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:56:40That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:56:42It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:56:46And if he can't, then what?
00:56:47He'll be bankrupt.
00:56:48So as long as he's greedy, I have to take it.
00:56:52I'm avenging my best friend.
00:56:54I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:57:03Oh!
00:57:04I signed the Maple Plaza Project.
00:57:07We should celebrate.
00:57:08You did?
00:57:09You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:57:12That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:57:15And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:57:18Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:57:23What?
00:57:25You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:57:27Oh, no, no, no, he's not.
00:57:29Jared, what are you doing?
00:57:31You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:57:34Do it.
00:57:35It's my decision, Mom.
00:57:37I'm the head of the house here.
00:57:39I'm telling my dad.
00:57:41Fine, go right ahead.
00:57:42I'm telling my dad.
00:57:43Fine, go right ahead.
00:57:44He has enough problems himself.
00:57:45If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:57:48But if not, you can scram.
00:57:51Dad.
00:57:53Jared is being mean to me.
00:57:54Teach him a lesson.
00:57:55Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:57:57Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:58:01Don't get on his bad side.
00:58:03We can't afford to piss him off.
00:58:05So do as he says.
00:58:07But, Dad.
00:58:13I'm sorry.
00:58:15I'll be your side piece.
00:58:17Very good.
00:58:19I'm happy you've come around.
00:58:20Now let's go celebrate.
00:58:25I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:58:29But that tongue action, though.
00:58:31Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:58:34Ellen, we are in public.
00:58:36It's true.
00:58:37Oh, stomachache.
00:58:40Stomachache.
00:58:41Again?
00:58:42I have to run to the bathroom.
00:58:43Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:58:45Okay.
00:58:47Devin's late.
00:58:49Not a good sign for a date.
00:58:53This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:58:58It's her.
00:58:59And she's alone.
00:59:00With no one to save her.
00:59:04You whore.
00:59:05You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:59:10Ah!
00:59:12Let me tell you.
00:59:13I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:59:21Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:59:25Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:59:27What?
00:59:28Why do I have to leave?
00:59:29She's the one starting shit.
00:59:31Because I have money and you don't.
00:59:33You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:59:36And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:59:40He still got the contract?
00:59:42Hmm.
00:59:43Must be Ellen's doing.
00:59:45Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:59:49Oh, he's just gonna...
00:59:51Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:55Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
01:00:00You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
01:00:05My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
01:00:081,000 dollars to take her away.
01:00:112,000 dollars to drag her away.
01:00:145,000 dollars to beat her away.
01:00:20Oh, hey!
01:00:21Hey!
01:00:22Ow!
01:00:26You okay?
01:00:27Are you hurt?
01:00:32Weakling.
01:00:33You!
01:00:34You, just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
01:00:38And now you have two more?
01:00:40What a whore.
01:00:42What a whore.
01:00:43Yeah.
01:00:44And Jared wanted to get back with her?
01:00:46What if she has an STD?
01:00:48Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
01:00:52Let's go.
01:00:54We'll expose her to Jared.
01:00:56Hang on.
01:00:58What do you want?
01:00:59I'll scream!
01:01:01I'm only a woman.
01:01:02But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:06But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:09Oh, God.
01:01:10He is a murderer.
01:01:12What if he murders me?
01:01:13Not him.
01:01:14Definitely not him.
01:01:20We're not afraid of you.
01:01:22That's enough.
01:01:23This isn't a war zone.
01:01:24You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:01:29I was just messing with them.
01:01:31Was he, though?
01:01:32We're not afraid of you.
01:01:35Jared, you have to avenge us.
01:01:37Look at this slut.
01:01:38She's found two more boy toys.
01:01:40She's cheating on you.
01:01:41Don't get back with her.
01:01:42Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:01:44I apologize for this scene.
01:01:46I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:01:50What did you say?
01:01:51You were going to toss out?
01:01:53What did you say?
01:01:54You were going to toss out?
01:01:55The potty crashes.
01:01:59You have any idea who that is?
01:02:01That's my wife.
01:02:02We saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:02:05That's right.
01:02:06Know your place.
01:02:07Shut up.
01:02:08She's cheating on you.
01:02:12Know your place.
01:02:13You're just a side piece, if I still want you, that is.
01:02:16Eric, have you gone mad?
01:02:18This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:02:20You slap her for this whore?
01:02:22Mom!
01:02:23They really think they're something, huh?
01:02:26Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:02:30She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:02:33I only got the Maple Closet Project because she gave it to me.
01:02:37What?
01:02:39You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:02:49I'm sorry.
01:02:51No.
01:02:53This can't be.
01:02:54I made you a divorce.
01:02:58Go home.
01:03:00You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:03:08I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:03:11Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:03:15I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:03:18I didn't come here for you.
01:03:20I'm on a date.
01:03:22A date with two men at the same time?
01:03:26She really is a whore.
01:03:27Angela, please forgive me.
01:03:29I really do love you.
01:03:33Oh-ho! Lady Knockout is here!
01:03:37Oh-ho! Lady Knockout is here!
01:03:42Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's ass.
01:03:45We're too old for that.
01:03:47They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:03:49Please, you gave me the contract.
01:03:51So if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:03:55Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:03:57We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:04:01What the hell are you all doing here?
01:04:03Where were you?
01:04:05Stomach issues.
01:04:07Again?
01:04:08Would you like my diagnosis?
01:04:10No.
01:04:12Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:04:15I would rather die than be with you again.
01:04:19Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:04:23I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:04:25Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:04:26Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:04:29I'll prove it to you.
01:04:31You want a chance?
01:04:32Angela, no.
01:04:33You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:04:36Don't take him back.
01:04:39I'll give you two choices.
01:04:41I'll give you two choices.
01:04:45Me or the contract.
01:04:48You're kidding me.
01:04:50No, I'm not kidding you.
01:04:53If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:04:57But you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:05:01The choice is all yours.
01:05:03That's a tough choice.
01:05:05You think so?
01:05:06He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his life.
01:05:09He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:05:12Either way, he benefits.
01:05:15Why can't I have both?
01:05:16You really are a greedy bastard.
01:05:19Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:05:21I deserve the contract.
01:05:23Did you really?
01:05:29Look who's fashionably late now.
01:05:32He didn't save her at the pool.
01:05:34Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:37I choose the contract.
01:05:39I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you.
01:05:44With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:05:47Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:05:51I will get you one day.
01:05:53Let me show you something.
01:06:06You saved me.
01:06:12You saved me.
01:06:14I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:06:21But I promise you, I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:06:26No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:06:28I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:37Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:42What? Me?
01:06:44Dr. Wilson? Losing at saving people?
01:06:47No way.
01:06:48You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:06:52You're crazy.
01:06:54And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:06:59What?
01:07:02Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:07:05Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:07:09Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:07:13I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:07:15Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:07:17I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:07:20No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:07:23You'd like me to punish them for you.
01:07:25Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:07:28Max, you know what to do.
01:07:36The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:07:39All business ties have been severed.
01:07:41We're bankrupt!
01:07:48How did you do that?
01:07:50Who are you?
01:07:51And don't say Spider-Man!
01:07:55I'll tell you who I am.
01:07:58And don't say Spider-Man!
01:08:02I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:05I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:09I am...
01:08:11Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:08:13What did he say he was?
01:08:15That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:08:18You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:08:20Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:08:23See? You are number one at something.
01:08:25The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:08:28Forget Forbes' list.
01:08:30It's all about young money now.
01:08:32So, how about our date?
01:08:40I'm not letting anyone up me on this one.
01:08:43Let's buy two.
01:08:56They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:08:59I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:09:03Yes! I'm rich!
01:09:06I can make them all pay soon!
01:09:14What?
01:09:15Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:09:17The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:09:21Otherwise, it's a breach of contract
01:09:23and you will have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:09:26No!
01:09:28I'm bankrupt!
01:09:30I need a little off guard.
01:09:32You tricked me!
01:09:39Allow me.
01:09:43I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:09:45I had to get some very important materials
01:09:49for our special date.
01:09:51Cheers.
01:09:53Cheers.
01:10:02This looks good.
01:10:08Did you use my spices?
01:10:10I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:10:15You can have all the money and power in the world
01:10:18and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:10:22I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:10:28Angel.
01:10:31Your future with me
01:10:35is going to be different.
01:10:37Come on.
01:10:39Upstairs.
01:10:48Come on.
01:10:58Wow.
01:11:00Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on
01:11:03these past few years
01:11:05just because of some silly mistake.
01:11:08Angela.
01:11:10I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:11:13Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:11:17Right. I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:11:20How is all of this possible?
01:11:23I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:11:26Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:11:31I've had a crush on you since college.
01:11:34You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:11:38Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:11:43Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:11:51All you do is babble on and on about Internet money,
01:11:55Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:11:59Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:12:03I'll teach you a lesson.
01:12:06Hey! Get away from him!
01:12:08Angela!
01:12:11Feisty girl. I like her.
01:12:24How is he?
01:12:25It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:12:31Can it be cured?
01:12:32I actually think I know that poison.
01:12:34It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:12:38Household salt.
01:12:47I like her.
01:12:50There you go.
01:12:52What time is it?
01:12:55Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:13:04I like her.
01:13:06We have been rivals ever since.
01:13:08So, that's how I... well, we all met.
01:13:14I barely remember.
01:13:16I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:13:19Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:13:23You wouldn't have known.
01:13:25I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:13:27If that makes you feel any better.
01:13:29Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:13:31Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:13:34Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:13:44How can that be?
01:13:46Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:13:53Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:13:57Bankrupt?
01:13:58The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:14:01Bankrupt?
01:14:02Well then, get out of here!
01:14:04You can't do this to me!
01:14:09Jared!
01:14:10Mom, it's me.
01:14:11What happened?
01:14:13Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:14:16Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:14:18You should get back with your wife.
01:14:20We're bankrupt.
01:14:21What?
01:14:26Jared Cooper.
01:14:28We're here to propose to your belongings.
01:14:32No one is going to save you now.
01:14:35Mom!
01:14:40What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:14:46Who will you pick?
01:14:50I...
01:14:51I...
01:14:56I brought you fried chicken.
01:14:58Fried chicken?
01:14:59Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:15:01Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:15:04Sucking up last minute!
01:15:06At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:15:09Hey, stop. Stop.
01:15:12Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:15:15I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:15:18I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:15:21You know what I mean.
01:15:22Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:15:26which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:15:30Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:15:34Cole, the general?
01:15:38Or Devin, the CEO?
01:15:43Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:15:47Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:15:51But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:15:54made from glass imported from Venice
01:15:56and give it to our winner.
01:15:59Angela.
01:16:02Angela.
01:16:03Oh, I...
01:16:07I need more time to think.
01:16:13While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:16:16why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:16:19Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:16:22Let's start with Cole.
01:16:24Cole.
01:16:28There's not much to say.
01:16:30Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:16:32who has huge biceps,
01:16:35a massive chest,
01:16:37who would protect their wife?
01:16:41Okay, thank you.
01:16:44Uh, Shane?
01:16:47Muscles, money,
01:16:50they won't get you so far.
01:16:52But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:16:54that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:16:56if you know what I mean.
01:17:01Okay, I think we do.
01:17:03And Devin?
01:17:05That was quite disgusting.
01:17:10I just hope Angela's okay.
01:17:12I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:17:14A lot of choices to make.
01:17:17And she's my queen.
01:17:19I just really hope she's okay.
01:17:21Now, one more thing.
01:17:23What kind of a doctor
01:17:25brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:17:27That's a good point.
01:17:28That's bad for her heart.
01:17:32And then you!
01:17:33What?
01:17:34You know what they say about military men.
01:17:37They beef their wives.
01:17:42Enough!
01:17:45Stand up!
01:17:47Hey, you guys.
01:17:50Whoa, break it up!
01:17:52Hey!
01:17:53Break it up!
01:17:58Cut to commercial!
01:18:00Cut to commercial!
01:18:13Oh my gosh.
01:18:19This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:18:24Who do I choose?
01:18:33Angela's marrying me!
01:18:34But not stealing her from me.
01:18:35Oh yeah?
01:18:37I may be a doctor,
01:18:38but like I said,
01:18:39I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:18:45What don't you have in that cup?
01:18:47Fruit flavored gum.
01:18:48I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:18:50I'll fight you to the death.
01:18:52Don't forget about me.
01:18:54It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:00These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:19:03They do not help.
01:19:04Who made these?
01:19:06Who made these?
01:19:25It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:30I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:19:33And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:19:52We may have to work together to take him down.
01:20:03This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:20:07I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:20:11Hmm.
01:20:12Winter mint?
01:20:13Or cool mint?
01:20:18You know,
01:20:20I've always really liked your hair.
01:20:21Really?
01:20:23I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:20:26So I appreciate that.
01:20:28And you know,
01:20:29Cole,
01:20:30I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:20:33Really?
01:20:34Yeah.
01:20:38What do you got for me?
01:20:39I always
01:20:41really like the way you chew gum.
01:20:43Yeah?
01:20:44It's fresh, right?
01:20:49You're actually a really good doctor.
01:20:51I appreciate it.
01:20:52You need me to look at you?
01:20:54I got you.
01:20:55Angela's been kidnapped!
01:20:57Angela's been kidnapped!
01:20:59It was Jared Cooper!
01:21:01That fucker!
01:21:02We have to find her.
01:21:03What, how?
01:21:04Her ring.
01:21:05Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring, just in case.
01:21:08Well, let's go then!
01:21:10My love!
01:21:11My fiancé!
01:21:12My fiancé!
01:21:18Jared.
01:21:20Jared.
01:21:22Jared.
01:21:23Jared.
01:21:27What am I doing here?
01:21:30You destroyed me.
01:21:33I took everything.
01:21:36What?
01:21:37I have nothing left.
01:21:39It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:21:42I was greedy?
01:21:43To have sex with my wife?
01:21:45What?
01:21:47I'm not your wife anymore!
01:21:49Oh yeah, I know.
01:21:50You wouldn't take me back now,
01:21:51not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:21:53This is illegal!
01:21:54You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:21:57You won't have me arrested.
01:21:59You will take me back.
01:22:03Come on, bitch.
01:22:06I'll settle you down a little.
01:22:16You will be begging me to fuck you soon!
01:22:21Hey!
01:22:23Angela, come here!
01:22:28You're too late!
01:22:29I drugged her.
01:22:30She'll be dead soon unless...
01:22:31And yet?
01:22:32Have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:35He really does have everything in his coat.
01:22:37Everything except for fruit.
01:22:38Yeah, except for fruit flavored gum.
01:22:39We get it already.
01:22:40Just save my paws!
01:22:43Here you go.
01:22:49You're all good now.
01:22:51Oh, thank God.
01:22:53But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:55What? What are you going to do to me?
01:22:58Hey, stop! No, don't!
01:23:01Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:23:09Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:23:11Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:23:14So, who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:23:16We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:23:19The Prince of Bhutan.
01:23:21And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:23:29Welcome back to the finale of
01:23:31The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:33We're down to the wire.
01:23:35Literally.
01:23:36The wedding day.
01:23:37But who's in charge?
01:23:38I'm in charge.
01:23:39I'm in charge.
01:23:40I'm in charge.
01:23:41Literally.
01:23:42The wedding day.
01:23:43But who's the groom?
01:23:57Welcome back to the finale of
01:23:59The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:24:01But who's the groom?
01:24:06Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:24:10Any input from the parents?
01:24:12Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:24:16This is exciting.
01:24:17Who should my daughter pick?
01:24:20Let me think.
01:24:24I like the doctor.
01:24:26He's cute.
01:24:29But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:24:33And we can't forget about Devon Sterling,
01:24:35the one who's loved her the longest.
01:24:37Isn't that right, Devon?
01:24:39Angela.
01:24:46You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:24:51And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:24:55But this was a really hard decision.
01:24:59And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:25:04And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:25:12I'm just kidding.
01:25:13I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:25:19Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:25:23I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:25:25They've all proven their undying love.
01:25:28So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:25:31Literally.
01:25:34Could it be the sexy and protective,
01:25:38general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:25:46Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird,
01:25:51Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:25:55And last but not least,
01:25:57could it be the richest man of them all,
01:26:00the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:26:02Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:26:07Gentlemen.
01:26:09It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:26:11It has.
01:26:12May the best man win.
01:26:14May the best man win.
01:26:17Drum roll, please.
01:26:31Seriously, Ricky?
01:26:40I choose...
01:26:51I need a powerful, strong man
01:26:53who I really feel like he can protect me.
01:26:57Who could resist those guns?
01:27:01Could I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:27:04Yeah, I'd be like a full-body checkup.
01:27:19Shane, it's you.
01:27:21I'm lovesick for you.
01:27:23You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:25Yeah.
01:27:27It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:27:30Ellen, be my new queen.
01:27:32I thought we could go together.
01:27:34Let's make love, babe.
01:27:47It's always been you.
01:27:57I'll always love you.
01:28:01Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:28:05Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:28:06Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:28:08I eat fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:28:27I love you.
01:28:44I, Selene Lovett,
01:28:46accept my role as Nightwind's pack Luna
01:28:49and your wife.
01:28:52I, Alexander Kane,
01:28:54I, Alexander Cain, fucking love you.
01:29:02Woo!
01:29:03Yes!
01:29:12Wow. Two alphas together.