Cheating in Islam - Nouman Ali Khan
Cheating in Islam - Nouman Ali Khan
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00:00And I've heard some very idiotic things about being said, even by people of religion.
00:04I've met people that lead entire communities, calling themselves imams.
00:07I don't call them imams.
00:08They'll say, you know, we like to keep women in their place.
00:11They say things like that.
00:12And I say, I don't know what religion you follow.
00:14But that's not the religion of our Messenger ๏ทบ.
00:17The open policy of our Prophet ๏ทบ is,
00:19ูุง ุชุถุฑุจูุง ุงู
ุงุก ุงููู.
00:20Don't hit the female slaves of Allah.
00:22It's clear and explicit.
00:23Don't hit them.
00:24So we have to reconcile those two.
00:26Again, this is not a lecture about Surah An-Nisa,
00:28but this is about Rajam.
00:29It's tied together.
00:30So I want to show you how they're tied together.
00:33A husband is afraid...
00:35Is a husband afraid that the wife didn't put salt in the food?
00:39Is the husband afraid that the wife forgot to pay the electricity bill?
00:43Is the husband afraid that she didn't do the laundry?
00:46No, he's upset.
00:48The word in the ayah is not that you're upset with the spouse,
00:52because of her uprising.
00:54It's because you're afraid of her uprising.
00:56ุชุฎุงููู ูุดูุฒูู.
00:58That changes everything.
00:59Because actually ุฎูู,
01:02what is the only thing a man is afraid of?
01:05His wife being with anyone else.
01:07And he has no evidence.
01:08He's just afraid of it.
01:09He just notices she's putting a little extra makeup on when she leaves.
01:13He notices that she's smiling a lot when she's texting.
01:16He notices things.
01:17And it's scaring him.
01:18It's messing with him.
01:20You understand?
01:21Now is that a small thing or a big thing?
01:23It's a big thing.
01:24Because if that is true,
01:26if that is true,
01:28then that is war against Allah and His Messenger.
01:31Remember we established that already?
01:34So she's not just doing something that's against her husband.
01:37She is now an enemy to Allah and His Messenger ๏ทบ.
01:41Now the husband doesn't have four witnesses,
01:43and he doesn't have any other witnesses.
01:44But the husband, he knows his wife.
01:47A husband knows his wife.
01:49He knows something's changing.
01:51He knows something's up.
01:53He knows when she's hiding something.
01:55And he can tell, and he's getting more and more and more upset.
01:58And things get to a point,
02:00and by the way, advise them.
02:02And he's so disgusted whether he can't even sleep in the same bed.
02:05ููููุฌูุฑูููููู ููู ุงููู
ูุถูุงุฌูุนู
02:07Separate the bed from them.
02:09Why would you separate your bed from your wife?
02:10Because she cooked too little food?
02:13Because you're so disturbed by the idea that she's interested in somebody else.
02:17But when things come to a point where you're almost 100% sure
02:22that she's doing something wrong,
02:24the only thing left now is you will catch her.
02:28But you're 90% already there.
02:30Then you have to try to save her life.
02:34Because if you catch her,
02:35and you testify, what's gonna happen to her?
02:38Either she will be killed in this dunya,
02:40or she will burn in hellfire forever in the akhirah.
02:43So in order to save her life, if you hit her, it's okay.
02:47What I'm saying is the ayah about hitting women is not under usual circumstances.
02:51It's about a woman who's suspected of cheating on her husband.
02:54And it's escalated.
02:56And the only thing after that is worst case scenario.
02:59Which is the worst case scenario?
03:01Surah An-Nur.
03:03So you'll notice things in Surah An-Nisa are everything built up.
03:07And then the completion of those issues is Surah An-Nur.
03:11We saw that with the subject of zina also, right?
03:13So now that's what's coming here.
03:15So now he testifies, he swears four times by Allah
03:19that she has done what I said she did.
03:22And this is hard for me to explain,
03:23because I just heard a baby,
03:24because it's just a baby, he won't remember.
03:26But you know, what does it mean that you witnessed something?
03:29I'll try to use adult language
03:32without helping children understand too much.
03:34So just understand what I'm saying without me spelling everything out.
03:39If you saw two people together, that's not enough.
03:42If you saw two people together inside of a bed or a bedroom,
03:46that's not enough.
03:49You have to literally see two organs.
03:52And if you didn't see that, you didn't see anything.
03:56That's how serious it is, the witness.
03:58That's how the witness is.
04:00You know, and that's what the fuqaha would discuss,
04:02because you cannot just accuse someone.
04:05That's how much benefit of the doubt this religion gives.
04:07It's incredible.
04:09People think this is barbaric, this is incredible.
04:12This is a rahmah from Allah Azza wa Jalla.
04:14He doesn't allow that situation to happen.
04:16Now, if a husband has come, even if she did that,
04:20he doesn't want her to be killed,
04:23unless he's hurt so much.
04:25Because a wife is someone you love.
04:28But you know, when a husband and wife have this problem,
04:32then as intense as that love used to be,
04:34that turns into intense hate.
04:37And he can't forgive her.
04:40He can't let her go.
04:42Now, there is an Islam, forgiveness.
04:44And if you can forgive someone,
04:46even if he divorces her,
04:47he could divorce her and not testify against her.
04:49That's possible.
04:51And that's just him forgiving her.
04:52But he can't.
04:54He wants revenge.
04:55He wants to see her punished.
04:58And Allah, in this case, actually allows it.
05:01And didn't even say, it's better if you forgive.
05:03You know, in every other case,
05:04when somebody does something wrong to you,
05:06what does Allah say first?
05:07It's better if you what?
05:08Forgive.
05:08ููุฃูู ุชูุนููููุง ุฃูููุฑูุจููุง ูููุชููููููููฐ
05:10If you forgive, it's closer to taqwa.
05:12You know.
05:14ููู
ููู ุนูููููฐ ููุฃูุตูููุญู ููุฃูุฌูุฑููู ุนูููููฐ ุงูููููู
05:16ููููู
ููู ููููุชูุตูุฑู ุจูุนูุฏู ุธูููู
ููู
05:18ููุฃููููุฆููู ู
ูุง ููุงูู ุนูููููููู
ู
ููู ุณูุจูููู
05:20Before that, if you take revenge,
05:22then there's no harm against you.
05:23But if you forgave, it would be better for you.
05:26Now, if he's willing to testify four times,
05:28is he forgiving or taking revenge?
05:30He's taking revenge.
05:32But Allah does not say in these ayat what?
05:35But if he forgave, it would be better.
05:36Why not?
05:37Because this was not first and foremost
05:44And this is part of the ุบุถุจ of Allah,
05:46the anger of Allah
05:47that he doesn't even recommend forgiveness in this passage.
05:50That doesn't even come up.
05:53So he says that he has to testify four times
05:56swearing by Allah.
05:57ุฅูููููู ููู
ููู ุงูุตููุงุฏูููููู
05:58Absolutely, he truly is from those that are telling the truth.
06:02I saw this, I saw this.
06:03I swear by Allah, swear by Allah, swear by Allah,
06:05swear by Allah four times.
06:06Why does he have to testify four times?
06:08Because he's equaling four witnesses.
06:11ูุงูุฎุงู
ุณุฉ
06:12Then he has to give a fifth oath.
06:15And what's the ุงูุฎุงู
ุณุฉ do?
06:17ุฃูููู ููุนูููุฉู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู
06:19That the curse of Allah should be on him.
06:20ุฅููู ููุงูู ู
ููู ุงููููุงุฐูุจูููู
06:22If it is the case that he's from those who are lying.
06:25If he's lying about this,
06:26he openly says,
06:27May Allah curse me.
06:29ุฃูููู ููุนูููุฉู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู
06:31Oof!
06:33Now, on the other hand,
06:34there's this side,
06:35this man is standing testifying against his wife.
06:39And on that side, on the defendant side,
06:41is the wife.
06:42Her turn to testify.
06:43ููููุฏูุฑูุฃู ุนูููููุง ุงููุนูุฐูุงุจูุฉู
06:46And the punishment,
06:48Allah will remove the punishment from her.
06:51He will push the punishment away from her.
06:53ุฃูู ุชูุดูููุฏู ุฃูุฑูุจูุนู ุดูููุงุฏูุงุชู ุจูุงูููููู
06:57If that she would testify four times
06:59swearing to Allah.
07:00ุฅูููููู ููู
ููู ุงููููุงุฐูุจูููู
07:02He's lying.
07:02I swear by Allah.
07:03I swear by Allah.
07:04I swear by Allah.
07:04I swear by Allah.
07:05He's lying.
07:07She has to testify equal number of times against him.
07:09But four is not enough.
07:10You have to do a fifth time.
07:12ููุงููุฎูุงู
ูุณูุฉู
07:13And the fifth time.
07:15ุฃููููุง ุบูุถูุจู ุงูููููู ุนูููููููุง
07:18That the anger of Allah should fall upon her.
07:22ุฅููู ููุงูู ู
ููู ุงูุตููุงุฏูููููู
07:23If he happens to be the one telling the truth.
07:26Now when he asked the fifth time,
07:28he said the ูุนูุฉ of Allah.
07:31When she asked,
07:32it was the ุบุถุจ of Allah.
07:35So he asked,
07:36if I'm not telling the truth,
07:38then may the curse of Allah be on me.
07:41And when she asked,
07:43it was may the anger of Allah be on me.
07:47What's the difference?
07:48Why not use the same language?
07:50As a matter of fact,
07:51the worst thing you can do to a husband,
07:55or sorry, to a wife,
07:57is to accuse her of this.
08:00There is no greater curse a woman can live
08:03than be known in society
08:04as somebody who committed zina.
08:07He's brought it in public, hasn't he?
08:09Now she's done zina in her private life or something,
08:12that's something else.
08:13But if she's been publicly accused,
08:15family knows about it,
08:17friends know about it,
08:18co-workers know about it,
08:19society knows about it,
08:20the newspaper has it,
08:21the entire courtroom sitting there,
08:23the community.
08:24She's humiliated.
08:25There is no bigger curse,
08:27just the way people look at her from that day on.
08:29Even if she's innocent,
08:30the way people look at her
08:31is gonna be different.
08:34And so he's,
08:35by coming out like this,
08:36he has actually put a kind of curse on her.
08:41And if he's doing this wrongfully,
08:42then he deserves a curse himself.
08:44But not just the curse from the people,
08:46because he testified by Allah,
08:48he manipulated the word of Allah,
08:51then he shouldn't just get the curse of the people,
08:53he should get,
08:53ุฃูููู ุงููููุนูููุฉู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู
08:57The curse of Allah should be on him.
08:59On the other side is the woman
09:01who doesn't say,
09:02may the curse of Allah be on me,
09:04she says,
09:04may the anger of Allah be on me.
09:08I keep telling you over and over again,
09:09if somebody's committed this act,
09:11who have they actually violated against?
09:14Allah and His Messenger ๏ทบ.
09:16And most importantly, Allah Himself.
09:19And if she's brought upon the wrath of Allah,
09:22and she's willing to call Allah's name four times
09:25and say,
09:25I'm okay with the anger of Allah.
09:29She's already made Allah angry with her act,
09:32and she should say that she's okay with it.
09:34Let her say it herself.
09:37And on the other hand,
09:39you know, what she's done to her husband,
09:41she hasn't put a curse on her husband,
09:43but she's caused her husband more anger
09:44than he's ever experienced in his life.
09:48So it's not just Allah,
09:49but the anger of her husband.
09:52But now she deserves the anger of Allah,
09:53because she called on Allah.
09:55She called on Allah.
09:56You could save your life.
09:58So you don't have to get the stoning.
09:59You could just take this testimony,
10:02and live your life.
10:04At least in this world.
10:06And there was a woman in fact,
10:08who was accused in the Seerah of the Prophet ๏ทบ.
10:11And her turn came to say,
10:12I didn't do it.
10:15And she almost didn't testify.
10:19But then she went ahead.
10:21And she said,
10:21I swear he's made the anger of Allah be on me.
10:25And she wasn't punished, you know.
10:27At least not in this world, right?
10:29The first half of this passage,
10:31was people who have committed this mistake,
10:33and they are not married.
10:35This passage that we just discussed,
10:37is the second one,
10:38which is concluding with people who are married.
10:42The first one,
10:43Allah ุนุฒ ู ุฌู by the time He ended it,
10:45ุฅููููุง ุงูููุฐูููู ุชูุนูุจููุง ู
ูู ุจูุนูุฏู ุฐููููู ููุฃูุตูููุญููุง
10:49Even at the end of that,
10:50Allah said,
10:51except those who make tawbah.
10:54So at the end of the discussion of punishment,
10:55Allah keeps bringing up His mercy,
10:57His forgiveness,
10:58opportunity to make tawbah, etc.
10:59Yeah?
11:01Now this happens,
11:02and at the end of this He says,
11:04ูููููู ููุง ููุถููู ุงูููููู ุนูููููููู
ู ููุฑูุญูู
ูุชููู
11:08Had it not been for the extra favor of Allah on you people,
11:14and had it not been for His mercy.
11:17Now this is actually,
11:18ููุฌูููุงุจููุง ูููู ููุง ู
ูุญูุฐูููู ููููุตูุฏู ุชูููููููู ู
ูุถูู
ูููููู
11:22You know, sometimes this is,
11:24you know, it's grammar language.
11:26But let me tell you what it means in simple English.
11:30If I wasn't your mother,
11:37you know, if I didn't have a flight right now,
11:42you don't say anything more.
11:45You know why you don't say anything more?
11:47Because what you're going to say is so scary,
11:50and you want to leave it to the imagination
11:52of the person that you're talking to.
11:57You don't even want to know.
11:59Oh, had you come five more minutes late.
12:07Oh my God!
12:08So intensely angry that it can't even be put in words.
12:14Had it not been for the favor of Allah on you people,
12:18and had it not been for His mercy,
12:24he stops there.
12:26He doesn't finish it.
12:28He doesn't finish it.
12:30Because fahisha, these mistakes
12:33that Allah is willing to forgive are so serious.
12:37They are so heavy.
12:39That had it not been for this extra favor
12:41that Allah has given this ummah,
12:43and the rahmah that Allah has given this ummah,
12:46we would have been annihilated,
12:49destroyed as a result of this.
12:52In ways that can't even be described.
12:55In ways that are beyond words.
12:57You know, sometimes they say,
12:59ุงููุญุธ ุฃุตุฏู ุฅูุจุงุก ู
ู ุงูููุธ
13:03Or they say, ุฑุจุง ุณููุช ุฃุจูุบ ู
ู ููุงู
13:06Sometimes just observation is more powerful than words.
13:10Sometimes silence says a lot more than speech does.
13:13That's what Allah does here.
13:15ูุฃู ุงููู ุชูุงุจ ุญููู
13:18And even ุฃู ุงููู ุชูุงุจ ุญููู
is not complete.
13:21Had it not been for the extra favor of Allah on you,
13:25and His rahmah, His mercy, His love, and His care,
13:28and that Allah continually accepts tawbah,
13:31and is full of wisdom,
13:33and makes final decisions in your favor even,
13:37makes the wisest of decisions,
13:38had it not been for that,
13:40dot, dot, dot, dot, dot,
13:43you would have been done for.
13:44So now two halves of this passage,
13:47they both end with Allah.
13:48In the first case, come back and make tawbah.
13:51In the second case, you are so lucky He's merciful,
13:54or you are so fortunate that He has tawbah for you.
13:58Because this is a favor Allah has given to the people,
14:01that He's opened that door of tawbah.