While most people recognize British Military Guards by their stoic faces and flamboyant hats, there's a lot more to the soldiers than meets the eye. As it turns out, they have a lot of very specific rules to follow, some of which go well beyond standing still.
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00:00While most people recognize British military guards by their stoic faces and flamboyant hats,
00:06there's a lot more to the soldiers than meets the eye. As it turns out,
00:09they have a lot of very specific rules to follow, some of which go well beyond standing still.
00:15London may not be known for having exceptionally hot weather,
00:18but that doesn't mean it can't get more than a little warm. As such,
00:21it's not exactly an uncommon occurrence for guards to faint on the job. However,
00:26the weird thing is that there's actually a proper protocol the British military guards
00:30follow when that happens. Explicitly, they're told that they're supposed to faint to attention.
00:35In other words, they're expected to fall straight forward, directly onto their faces,
00:40without buckling at the knees, listing off to the side, or catching themselves on their hands.
00:44Not only that, but if they're holding something, such as their rifle,
00:48then they need to make sure they don't drop it before they hit the floor themselves.
00:52Reportedly, it's far from a pleasant experience. As one major told Express,
00:56it will probably involve a broken nose and a whole lot of missing teeth.
01:00The guards are given tips on how to avoid fainting, like drinking plenty of water
01:04or loosening the bands on their hats, but sometimes it can't be helped. In June 2023,
01:09during a recorded parade rehearsal in the middle of a heat wave, at least four guards fainted,
01:14their instruments still held to their lips as they fell,
01:16before being carried off the field on stretchers by a waiting medical team.
01:21The typical image that most people probably have of British military guards is of stoic
01:25soldiers standing completely still in front of the royal residences across England. That's far
01:30from an inaccurate image, though it can start to raise some strange questions about what exactly a
01:35day looks like for those soldiers. For example, can they go to the bathroom? The short answer
01:40is no. The guards serve in two-hour shifts, and during that time,
01:44they aren't allowed to leave their posts at all, not even to relieve themselves.
01:48They'll be out on their feet for two-hour stags until 8 o'clock in the evening."
01:53Unfortunately, this same rule also carries over to every formal event that the guards take part in,
01:58some of which are considerably longer than those two hours, and which may feature some
02:02factors that make the bathroom rule quite a bit less comfortable. Parades or royal weddings are
02:07two such occasions, given that the latter can last some four hours, and the former typically
02:12requires that the guards have had plenty to drink beforehand. That's not exactly the best
02:16combination of circumstances, and one guardsman told Express,
02:20"...you can hear lads groaning behind you."
02:22Sometimes, it goes past mere discomfort, as another guardsman even admitted,
02:26"...you might get a few little puddles."
02:28Fortunately, their dark pants hide things pretty well, should it ever come to that.
02:33British military guards are renowned for their stoic demeanor. No matter how many
02:37tourists approach them to take photos and selfies or tell jokes to bother them,
02:41they'll typically find that it's a nearly impossible task to force a smile from them.
02:45The reason for this reputation is that they actually aren't allowed to smile or laugh,
02:50no matter what situation they're met with. It's all a matter of professionalism.
02:54Because this is a rule, it only follows that there's some sort of punishment for breaking it,
02:58but there are somewhat conflicting reports on this matter. Most commonly, you'll hear that
03:02there's some sort of financial punishment, with exact ranges differing from a couple
03:06days' worth of pay to a couple of weeks. If you're looking for an exact number,
03:10that's somewhere around $350 or so, just for cracking a smile.
03:14That said, other sources have said that there's no real truth to this rumor,
03:18and that while none of their superiors will be particularly happy with them,
03:22a soldier who lets a smile slip doesn't have to give up any of their paycheck. Alternatively,
03:26one soldier has suggested that laughing has an even steeper punishment, telling Time Out,
03:31"...there would be a re-education at a military prison in Colchester
03:34to make sure they're still aware of their responsibilities when they're on post."
03:38When you think of the British military guards, the iconic fluffy black hats that they wear are
03:43probably what first comes to mind. Naturally, that's a required part of their uniform,
03:48but it's also a requirement that has a lot of history and quite a bit of controversy to boot.
03:52Historically, the bearskin hats date back to the Napoleonic Wars and were actually a staple of both
03:58British and French military garb. Used as a fashion-based intimidation tactic, they made
04:02the soldiers appear taller, and thus more threatening to their enemies, and they also
04:07became a symbol of honor, with British soldiers taking the hats of their French counterparts when
04:11they claimed victory at the Battle of Waterloo. Presently, though, they've come under fire.
04:15As the name suggests, bearskin hats are made of the actual pelts of black bears,
04:20most of which are killed in Canada. According to one soldier, it takes at least one full bear
04:25pelt to make a single hat, and the claims that those pelts were sourced from necessary
04:28culling programs are actually lies.
04:31"...the British public don't want the caps to be made from the skins of animals,
04:36you know, it just falls out of line with where we're at in modern times."
04:40Rather, recreational hunters kill the bears, often in gruesome and painful fashions,
04:44and despite the existence of plenty of faux furs, the Ministry of Defense has claimed that none of
04:49them quite suit their purposes for one reason or another, meaning that military guards will
04:54probably need to keep wearing real bearskins for the time being.
04:57Given that the bearskins require such particular resources to make, it follows that the soldiers
05:02would be expected to take good care of them. After all, despite the environmental concerns
05:06surrounding them, many soldiers still wear them with immense pride, and the British government
05:10typically likes to keep them in circulation for as long as possible. In the first few years of
05:15the early 2000s, they did buy about 500 new bearskin hats, but even more than that were
05:20refurbished and reused. As such, guards are told to follow a pretty strange routine when it comes
05:25to keeping their bearskins in top shape. One soldier explained that the fur of the hats is
05:30actually remarkably similar to human hair, so upkeep and maintenance are effectively the same.
05:34In other words, they're told to carefully shampoo them with mild soap and leave them out to air dry.
05:40Another account even specifies that, prior to big events like royal weddings, the soldiers are even
05:45expected to shower with the hats in order to shampoo them and then comb out the fur the next
05:49morning. Of course, they can't be lax about the rest of their uniform, either. Prestigious enough
05:54events can warrant new pairs of boots, which the guards have to wax until the surface shines like
05:58a mirror, a process that can take at least three days and up to five whole tins of polish.
06:04As always, the British military guards are known for their stoicism and silence,
06:08which always makes it rather surprising whenever one of them actually responds to a tourist's
06:12actions in some way. And while their strict adherence to professionalism means that they
06:16definitely won't be smiling or laughing at someone's jokes, that doesn't mean that they
06:20aren't given specific allowances to speak. Generally speaking, they're allowed to break
06:24their code of silence when tourists get involved. Sometimes, that just involves shouting out,
06:29make way while they're marching, in order to make sure that no one is standing in their path.
06:34But in more extreme circumstances, such as if a tourist tries to make physical contact with them,
06:39they're allowed to yell at the intruder to scare them off. In worst-case scenarios,
06:43they're even allowed to raise their bayonet-tipped weapons to make sure they get their point across.
06:47All that said, sometimes they will also speak up for reasons other than warnings and reprimands.
06:52A guard told Time Out that some tourists are actually very considerate and will ask if it's
06:57all right before taking photos. On one occasion, he recalled,
07:00"...one American tourist asked if she could give me a peck on the cheek.
07:03I had to say, absolutely not, much against my better judgment."
07:08The British military guards aren't supposed to react to anything around them that is not a threat.
07:12Their protocol dictates that they're not supposed to show any responses to their environment,
07:16and that even includes moving. While on duty, they are in fact expected to stand as still as statues.
07:23Oh, I know this drill. They won't crack up no matter what you do.
07:27It should be said, though, that there are definite exceptions to this rule. After all,
07:31standing stock still for a full two hours is bad for anyone's health. Due to that,
07:35the soldiers are only mandated to stand still for 10-minute intervals at the very least.
07:40After that amount of time passes, they're allowed to go for a quick march up and down the street,
07:44keeping their blood flowing and stretching out their muscles. Similarly, on days when
07:48it's especially hot out, they're allowed to break their statuesque stance and prioritize
07:52hydration. Guards have been seen taking teacups full of water to their peers, and on one occasion,
07:57a police officer was observed holding a water bottle to the lips of a guard as he maintained
08:02his ramrod-straight posture. Every element of the British royal guard's uniform is iconic,
08:07to say the least. However, their dress code is actually more detailed than you might expect.
08:12I love a man in uniform.
08:14The British military guard isn't just one single regiment of soldiers. Rather,
08:18it's made up of five different regiments that all trade off on guard duties. The Grenadier Guards,
08:23Coldstream Guards, Scots Guards, Irish Guards, and Welsh Guards. Each of those regiments has
08:29its own rich and unique history, and in keeping with that, they have their own version of the
08:33iconic red and black uniform. Most noticeable is probably the placement and color of the plume on
08:39their bearskins. The Grenadier Guards have a white plume on the left side of their hat,
08:43the Coldstream Guards a red plume on the right, the Irish Guards a blue plume on the right,
08:47the Welsh Guards a white and green plume on the left, and the Scots Guards don't have a plume at
08:52all. On top of that, the smaller details of their uniforms also differ, such as the placement and
08:57spacing of the buttons on their coat or the badges that adorn their shoulder and collar.
09:01It's also worth mentioning that not all members of the British military guards actually sport
09:06the same iconic uniform, with two cavalry units wearing plumed metallic helmets and a different
09:11type of coat. The public sees an especially distinguished and respectable front when it
09:16comes to the British military guards. If you were to head behind the scenes, though, then you'd find
09:20a reality and responsibilities that aren't quite so glamorous. As former soldiers have revealed
09:25to the press, all of them are housed in the Wellington Barracks. They're expected to do chores
09:29and help clean up in the mornings, as you'd probably expect when it comes to apartment-style
09:34living. However, living at the barracks is nothing like living in nearby Buckingham Palace.
09:38Instead, trash often litters the halls, and it's not uncommon for rats to die inside their
09:43trash cans. What's more, all of that needs to be cleaned out by the soldiers as part of their
09:47morning routine. Ultimately, though, that's just one example of a far larger problem,
09:52which are the dismal living conditions faced by the guards. Things just don't work,
09:56with the plumbing regularly blocked or leaky, lending a stench to the whole area. In fact,
10:01thousands of maintenance requests have simply been ignored and unfulfilled by contractors,
10:06and that's not accounting for the pure numbers. Thirty-two soldiers live on each floor and have
10:10to share a grand total of six toilets and two whole bathrooms. That's far from an enviable
10:15living situation to most. The British military guard prioritizes professionalism above all else,
10:21and while you might think that same line of thought would apply when it comes to the
10:25events and ceremonies that they take part in, that's not always true. Very notably,
10:30they regularly carry out the Changing of the Guard, an hour-long ceremony that takes place
10:34about every other day. It has a practical purpose, signaling the shifting of guard duties from one
10:39regiment to another as they march toward each other and hand off the keys of the palace,
10:44accompanied by music played by a marching band. While the music is usually traditional marching
10:49music, this ceremony is a public affair and quite a tourist attraction as well, so the use of
10:54military music is far from a hard rule. On the contrary, the guards have been heard performing
10:58plenty of popular songs, from Taylor Swift to Queen to Game of Thrones. On one occasion,
11:04social media was sent into a flurry when the band decided to go with ABBA's Dancing Queen,
11:08fittingly timed to line up with the release of Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again.