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The Three Badasses Who Want Me ReelShort
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
Transcript
00:00:00Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:00:03Angela, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:06I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:00:09without ever revealing your true identity.
00:00:11Now sign the divorce paper.
00:00:14Baby, I'll sign it.
00:00:19You don't regret it.
00:00:23My lovely princess, I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from.
00:00:29I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:00:34You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:00:37I'm going. I need to pick up my bride.
00:00:49What's the situation here?
00:00:50I want to marry you.
00:00:59Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:01:10What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:01:15Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:01:19If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:01:24Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:27What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls
00:01:30if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:01:32And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:01:36All right, everybody get out.
00:01:39We got an important guest coming.
00:01:43You.
00:01:48You deaf? I said pack up and scram.
00:01:51I paid the staff here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:01:54But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:01:58You want to say that again?
00:02:02You know who's visiting today?
00:02:04Ellen freaking Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:02:08Ellen Musk?
00:02:09Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:02:12Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:02:15Really?
00:02:17Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:02:21You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:02:27Coming to see you.
00:02:29All right, you know what?
00:02:30I'll play your game.
00:02:32If she does this so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:02:38Deal.
00:02:39Deal.
00:02:48Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within 10 minutes, or else you're fired.
00:03:10Prepare the limo.
00:03:11Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:03:20Ah, your 10 minutes is almost up.
00:03:22Good.
00:03:22Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:03:25Five, four, three, two, one.
00:03:39Ellen, uh, I mean, Ms. Musk, uh, Ellen, uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:03:49How's my boss bitch?
00:03:50Kick an ass, girlfriend.
00:03:52So how do you, like...
00:03:56She's my boss.
00:03:58I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:04:02No way.
00:04:06Well?
00:04:10No, no, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:04:13No, I won't do it again.
00:04:18All right, that's enough.
00:04:19We're not tyrants here.
00:04:27Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:04:35You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:04:37My runaway bride.
00:04:40You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:04:45Who are you?
00:04:48Where is she?
00:04:50Atlanta.
00:04:51And you were right.
00:04:52It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:04:54My clever bride.
00:04:56I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:05:03Max, prep the jet.
00:05:05I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:05:07Atlanta?
00:05:08The game is afoot.
00:05:09I'm going.
00:05:10Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:05:12The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:05:13He can wait.
00:05:14I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:19But Dr. Wilson!
00:05:26Gino Eisenhower reporting first!
00:05:28Dr. Wilson, I need to talk to you.
00:05:30I need to talk to you.
00:05:31I need to talk to you.
00:05:32I need to talk to you.
00:05:32I need to talk to you.
00:05:33I need to talk to you.
00:05:34I need to talk to you.
00:05:35I need to talk to you.
00:05:37Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:05:40Atlanta!
00:05:42Where is that?
00:05:44Whatever!
00:05:44Prepare my warplane!
00:05:46Don't sue going after my fiancée.
00:05:49This is war.
00:06:06I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper,
00:06:08to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:06:12Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:06:14This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:06:17That project is worth billions.
00:06:19He can finally take his company public.
00:06:21But Angela, my boss,
00:06:25I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:06:28without ever revealing your true identity.
00:06:31Without your backing, no offense,
00:06:34but he's nothing without you.
00:06:36Well, three years ago.
00:06:58You saved me.
00:07:04He saved me and
00:07:06I fell in love with him instantly.
00:07:08I didn't want to reveal my true identity
00:07:09because I didn't want him to feel the pressure
00:07:11of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:07:14But now with this contract,
00:07:17I feel like we'll be on more equal footing
00:07:18and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:07:22So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:07:25I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:07:30But why work at the flea market?
00:07:32Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:07:36Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare
00:07:39and cost a fortune to find.
00:07:41Plus, I get to make the best dishes
00:07:44for my hubby and his mom.
00:07:45You seem happy being a housewife.
00:07:51Where the hell are you?
00:07:53Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:07:56Get home, stat.
00:07:58It's a big day today.
00:08:00That was...
00:08:02My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:08:04She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:08:07But she's going to be ecstatic tonight
00:08:09when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:08:13You know, she even remembered our third-year anniversary.
00:08:21Please spend more time with my son.
00:08:25Hi, I'm home.
00:08:27I have a big announcement.
00:08:28A big announcement I have to make.
00:08:30Finally, you're back.
00:08:31Now sign the divorce papers.
00:08:36Divorce papers?
00:08:39Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:08:42God, don't call me Mom again.
00:08:45We're ending that relationship.
00:08:47Just look at you.
00:08:49Dirt all over.
00:08:50You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:08:53You don't deserve my son.
00:08:54You're way below his league.
00:08:56I'm below his league?
00:08:58That's right.
00:08:59You are.
00:09:01Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow
00:09:05with the Ellen Musk.
00:09:07And then his company's going public.
00:09:10That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:09:12But you?
00:09:14You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:09:19Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:09:21And you?
00:09:22And you?
00:09:23You will always just be a pawn.
00:09:27Like dirt on our shoes.
00:09:32Dirt on your shoes?
00:09:34But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:09:37You're delusional.
00:09:39You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:09:41How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:09:47Resorting to lies.
00:09:49Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:09:51And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:09:59You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:10:04Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:10:06Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:10:08Enough!
00:10:10Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:10:14But I am.
00:10:17Don't fight it, Angela.
00:10:18Here's 500k.
00:10:21You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:10:25Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:10:28Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:10:32I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:10:37Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:39Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:10:43Fine.
00:10:43Here's another 200,000.
00:10:45500,000 is too much for her already.
00:10:49She's done nothing.
00:10:51Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:10:54She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:10:56Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:11:01I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:11:05You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:11:09And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:11:14A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:11:18What a joke.
00:11:19If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already and leave.
00:11:28You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:11:33Let alone taking the company public?
00:11:35I did everything for you, Jared.
00:11:39Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:11:44Wow.
00:11:46It's all my work.
00:11:49Baby, we're gonna be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:11:58You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:12:02So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:12:07She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:12:10Fine.
00:12:12I'll sign it.
00:12:15But don't regret it.
00:12:17Regret?
00:12:19Do I know who I am?
00:12:21Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:12:25I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:29Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:12:35Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:12:38It's part of the power that I have.
00:12:41As an elite, you can't do shit because you're poor.
00:12:47Social stratum matters.
00:12:49Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:12:52And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:12:56And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:13:01Ha! You're delusional.
00:13:03Now sign the papers and scram!
00:13:07You owe me.
00:13:08You dirty bitch.
00:13:10You're sick of me.
00:13:16You hit me.
00:13:21Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:13:36I don't need your penny money.
00:13:47We're finished.
00:13:49You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:13:52Your check is just pennies to me.
00:13:55But I would like my ring back.
00:14:06Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:14:17And I'm way out of your league.
00:14:25Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring?
00:14:28It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:14:32Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:14:35Something she found at the flea market.
00:14:37You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:14:43Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:14:49Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:14:56Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk?
00:14:58Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:15:02Oh, everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:15:21Uh, Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia,
00:15:24wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:15:27Vanderbilt?
00:15:28Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies.
00:15:31Basically our employee.
00:15:32Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:15:35Well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow?
00:15:36But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:15:39That's exactly why I'm going.
00:16:01Angela Lockhart, I finally found you.
00:16:08Who is he?
00:16:10That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:16:12He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto,
00:16:17CEO of Sterling Enterprises. Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:16:22And he's your fiancé.
00:16:25What? What? My fiancé?
00:16:28The one and only.
00:16:31So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:16:36have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:16:48That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:16:54What is she doing here?
00:16:56Oh, you skank.
00:17:01My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:17:06Divorced?
00:17:08That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:17:14Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:17:18So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:17:21Guess she's not just a forsaken woman, she's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:17:29How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:17:32Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:17:36Do you know who I am?
00:17:38They don't know who you are.
00:17:41You hide it well.
00:17:43X-Team, teach these fools a lesson.
00:17:49Teach these fools a lesson.
00:17:52Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:17:59You forgot to bring the security team.
00:18:06Mind if I, uh, borrow your men?
00:18:13X-Team's ill-mannered apes out.
00:18:15Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:18:21Tch.
00:18:26A kiss as a reward, my lady?
00:18:30No.
00:18:37Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:18:40You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:18:46Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:18:49Pleased to meet you all.
00:18:50Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:18:53What an honor.
00:18:55Yeah, I heard you, uh, secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:18:58That's worth billions of dollars.
00:18:59Congrats, you'll be next.
00:19:02Thank you, but we haven't received the contract yet.
00:19:05We deserve it.
00:19:05Hard work.
00:19:06Oh, that's nothing.
00:19:07I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:19:09Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:19:12So I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:19:16Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:19:18Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:19:22Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:19:27Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:19:29Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:19:39I'll do my best.
00:19:44Excuse me.
00:19:45A second, gentlemen.
00:19:47What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:19:52How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:19:55Me, a hobo?
00:19:57How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:20:00You sleep your way in.
00:20:01I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:20:04Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:20:07Don't flatter yourself.
00:20:12This is your ex-husband?
00:20:13What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:20:16Who the hell is this?
00:20:18You were cheating on me?
00:20:31Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:20:34That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:20:39They even took Kaylee's tiara!
00:20:53You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:20:58Get your hands off of her!
00:21:04My lady.
00:21:05My lady?
00:21:23My queen.
00:21:29It's... It's him! He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:21:41Who are these peasants?
00:21:43These seats are reserved for THE Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:21:48Oh, shut up, old man. You're disturbing the peace.
00:21:54Fuckers, you know who that is? That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:21:58You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:22:01His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:22:05This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:22:08Vanderbilt. The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:22:15who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:22:20That? The Lee Vanderbilt family?
00:22:28Oh, goddammit! A stomachache now?
00:22:35Whatever. Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:22:50How dare you call one of us low?
00:22:54I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:22:59I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:23:04And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:23:08Not with me around. I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:23:14You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:23:19You're fucking delusional, Angela. We've had enough of your games.
00:23:24Security! Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:23:28Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:23:31But don't worry. You got new money here.
00:23:36I can handle myself, thank you.
00:23:39Yes, my queen.
00:23:41You're all despicable. An insult to your family names.
00:23:49Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:23:53Destroy Jared Cooper. Cut off all business ties.
00:23:58And if you don't, I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:24:05Ha! I knew it! You're here to fuck with me.
00:24:09You can't fool anyone here.
00:24:11How much money did you spend on that get-up and to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:15You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:24:19You have nothing, and you will always be nothing.
00:24:23She's a gold digger.
00:24:26Gold digger?
00:24:27Gigolo.
00:24:29Wanna try me for a night?
00:24:31Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:24:34Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:24:37They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:24:40Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife. She's only here to try and ruin my Bill and the Maple Plaza project.
00:24:44Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:24:47Security!
00:24:53Security!
00:24:55You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:24:58And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:25:01You!
00:25:03Insolent fools.
00:25:05Let me guess. You're that special guest?
00:25:09I don't know.
00:25:11Throw them out!
00:25:12And not without some broken bones, too.
00:25:21Back to our next.
00:25:26I got this.
00:25:43Whoa!
00:25:45Hey! Hey!
00:25:53What the hell are you two doing here?
00:25:56I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:25:58No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:26:01Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:26:12Angela!
00:26:14Don't hurt her.
00:26:15You bitch. I've always been sick of you. You just threw yourself at me.
00:26:19How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:26:22Boss?
00:26:23Did she say her boss?
00:26:25Miss Musk? That's Ellen Musk?
00:26:28That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:26:30My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:26:34Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:26:37Past the American Revolution?
00:26:39Back to the Renaissance.
00:26:41If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:26:44That's Lady Lockhart to you. She's royalty.
00:26:47And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:26:51What are you going to do? Kneel before me?
00:26:54Oh, your majesty.
00:26:57Welcome to the United States.
00:27:00We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:27:03Yes, your highness.
00:27:05Is it a queen or princess?
00:27:07It doesn't matter.
00:27:09My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:27:12We didn't mean to offend.
00:27:15What are you doing, you idiot?
00:27:17Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:27:29What rightfully belongs to you.
00:27:40She's a badass herself.
00:27:43He missed out on a good wife.
00:27:45You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:27:49Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:27:52No, no, don't believe their lies. I worked hard for everything.
00:27:56You worked for everything?
00:27:59Hi, honey.
00:28:01So, our 30th anniversary is coming up.
00:28:04And I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:28:07I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:28:09I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project.
00:28:12And if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:28:19I'm sorry.
00:28:21I'm sorry.
00:28:23I'm sorry.
00:28:25I'm sorry.
00:28:27I'm sorry.
00:28:33You were nothing before me.
00:28:36All your achievements, all your glory.
00:28:39That's all mine.
00:28:41Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:28:44I can take all of that away.
00:28:47Just like that.
00:28:49No, you can't take that away from me.
00:28:51That's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:28:55Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:28:58Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:29:00It was Queen Victoria's.
00:29:02And it's worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:29:11Oh, no.
00:29:12I gave you back the ring?
00:29:14I divorced a royal heiress?
00:29:16No!
00:29:18No, please, no!
00:29:20No, please take me back, baby!
00:29:22I still love you!
00:29:27Oh, man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:29:30No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:29:39God, these two again.
00:29:41Did he say... is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:29:44President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:29:46After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:29:48each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals.
00:29:51The highest rank in the nation's military.
00:29:53Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:29:55Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:29:56I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:29:58Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:30:05And that there is...
00:30:06That is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:30:10He's Dr. House's protege.
00:30:12Dr. House?
00:30:13I thought that was just a TV show.
00:30:15Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:30:17Yep, that's me.
00:30:18Son of James House.
00:30:20Dr. House?
00:30:21He's practically my uncle.
00:30:23I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:30:25when I was just 12 years old.
00:30:27So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall
00:30:29somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 years.
00:30:32And I'm late because I ran out of gum
00:30:34and had to make a pit stop.
00:30:40Hey, Ellen.
00:30:41Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:30:44Uh, they're all your fiancées.
00:30:47What?
00:30:49Fiancées.
00:30:51Plural?
00:30:53Fiancées.
00:30:54Plural?
00:30:56Watch it, nerds.
00:30:57I'm her fiancé.
00:30:59No, I'm her fiancé.
00:31:00You can both shut up.
00:31:02I'm her fiancé.
00:31:03It's you.
00:31:04It's me.
00:31:05Who the hell is he?
00:31:06I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:09How are all three of these men my fiancé?
00:31:14Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:31:17but I didn't tell you because you decided to marry
00:31:19Jared Cooper at the time.
00:31:21She has three badass fiancées and she marries his dumb ass.
00:31:28Whatever.
00:31:29Since you're all here,
00:31:31help me finish him.
00:31:35Since you're all here,
00:31:37help me finish him.
00:31:40At your service.
00:31:42Me too.
00:31:47One down, two more to go.
00:31:49She's become queen.
00:31:50Bishop to G4.
00:31:55Ow!
00:31:56Ow!
00:31:57Ow, what is that?
00:31:59The most germ-infested water in the Nile River.
00:32:05Rook to A8.
00:32:11Hello?
00:32:15I thought I was king.
00:32:16No, you wish.
00:32:17The king doesn't do anything,
00:32:19so Alan can be my king.
00:32:21Oh, fine.
00:32:26Bankrupt to four.
00:32:27It's right this second.
00:32:33I...
00:32:35I've been bankrupt!
00:32:37No!
00:32:38Who is he?
00:32:41I've been bankrupt!
00:32:43No!
00:32:44I told you I would remove all of you
00:32:46from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:32:49Well, guess what?
00:32:50Game over.
00:32:51All right, boys.
00:32:52Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:32:55Oh, that's serious business.
00:32:57I'm right with you.
00:33:00Wait for me.
00:33:01Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:33:04Wait for me.
00:33:05Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:33:16Angela.
00:33:19You already have three fiancées?
00:33:22You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:33:24I want compensation.
00:33:29You greedy SOB.
00:33:31Who the fuck is that?
00:33:32My ex-husband.
00:33:33Wait.
00:33:34You were married?
00:33:35Yeah.
00:33:36And if that's a problem for you,
00:33:38then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:33:40More for me.
00:33:41No, no.
00:33:42Of course not.
00:33:43Just...
00:33:44Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:46Don't steal my joke.
00:33:48I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:33:50All evidence of your past with him is gone.
00:33:53What?
00:33:54Is there something on my face?
00:33:55Uh, yeah.
00:33:56Murderous intent.
00:33:58Let's remarry.
00:34:01You still don't realize.
00:34:03I only fell in love with you
00:34:05because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:34:30Sir, it's an emergency.
00:34:32We need to wreck right away.
00:34:34Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:34:38Okay, I'm on my way.
00:34:42She should be okay now.
00:34:47Hey, you!
00:34:48Watch over here.
00:34:49I'll be right back.
00:34:55Hey, you!
00:34:56Watch over here.
00:34:57I'll be right back.
00:35:01You saved me.
00:35:06Fuck.
00:35:07I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:11Fuck.
00:35:12I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:14You've cheated on me,
00:35:16you've hit me,
00:35:17and you've insulted me.
00:35:19And after all that,
00:35:20I never want to see you again.
00:35:22I fucking hate you.
00:35:25There's a lady lock on.
00:35:27What now?
00:35:28Okay, yes.
00:35:30We understand that you are a very busy person,
00:35:33but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:35:35the Maple Plaza project...
00:35:37How about us three?
00:35:38Yes.
00:35:39Unlike that scumbag,
00:35:40we won't turn on you.
00:35:42Yeah, no.
00:35:43You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:35:47This is your fault, you doofus.
00:35:48We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:35:50No.
00:35:52No.
00:35:55We can't lose our positions
00:35:57with Ellen Musk and the lock on.
00:35:59I'll get you for this.
00:36:08I never should have listened to you.
00:36:10I'm ruined because of you.
00:36:25So, what's the situation here?
00:36:28I want to marry you.
00:36:39I want to marry you.
00:36:42Listen,
00:36:44I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:36:46and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:36:49But what if I told you?
00:36:52What if I told you
00:36:54that we've known each other for much longer
00:36:56than just a few hours?
00:36:58Much longer.
00:37:02Angela?
00:37:03Your parents would like to have a video call
00:37:05with all of you.
00:37:10My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:13Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:37:15The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:37:18Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:20I heard you finally divorced
00:37:23that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking,
00:37:26three-letter husband of yours.
00:37:28Can't call his name, but...
00:37:30Anyway, congratulations.
00:37:32I've selected three prime young men
00:37:35for you to choose from to replace him.
00:37:37Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:37:40Otherwise...
00:37:41Let me do it.
00:37:43You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:37:46Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:37:50Mom?
00:37:52All right, honey, that's it.
00:37:54Bye. Bye.
00:37:59So, who are you going to choose?
00:38:04Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:09Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:14That seems greedy.
00:38:21But...
00:38:23I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:26Hey, I may be a doctor,
00:38:29but I can take lives, too.
00:38:31I know and have access
00:38:33to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:38:35Well, okay, no murder, please.
00:38:38I was just kidding.
00:38:41You have seven days to win her over.
00:38:43Ooh, it's like The Bachelorette.
00:38:46I know.
00:38:48We'll start with challenge one.
00:38:52Welcome to the show,
00:38:53The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:38:55Today, we have our first challenge.
00:39:00What is all of this, Ellen?
00:39:03You'll see.
00:39:12Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Cockroaches!
00:39:15All women are afraid of cockroaches,
00:39:18and it is every man's job to save their beloved woman
00:39:21from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:39:23What will our three candidates do
00:39:25to prove their undying love for our single woman
00:39:28but screaming her head off heiress?
00:39:38Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:39:41It's up to the final two.
00:39:45Ooh!
00:39:56Ooh!
00:40:02Ooh! Ooh!
00:40:07Crunchy.
00:40:09That is sick cold.
00:40:11Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:40:13you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:40:17There are two more left. Want to try one?
00:40:19God, no! No!
00:40:22Oh, my God! Save me!
00:40:24What? Save you? You're supposed to save me!
00:40:27Aah!
00:40:29I'm a germophobic doctor.
00:40:31These hands can't get germs on them.
00:40:33They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:40:44Ooh!
00:40:49Thank God you're here.
00:40:53Are you all right, honey?
00:40:55Angela!
00:40:59All right, you won the first challenge, so your reward,
00:41:02you get to watch over her for the night.
00:41:05Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:41:07I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:41:09You have nothing to worry about.
00:41:14Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:41:16it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:41:18At least my girl can get some.
00:41:20I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:41:24The cockroaches!
00:41:26They're gone, they're gone.
00:41:28There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:30I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:41:38I need a drink.
00:41:44Whoa, easy, you're on an empty stomach.
00:41:47Oh, what do you care?
00:41:50I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:41:55You guys were right.
00:41:57I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:42:00You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:06He never even loved me.
00:42:08And I never loved him.
00:42:10He never even loved me.
00:42:12And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:42:19Do you really think that you would still be number one
00:42:21on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:26You may not be number one on Forbes list,
00:42:29but you know what you're number one in?
00:42:32What?
00:42:36You're number one here.
00:42:41You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:42:45Lies.
00:42:48You all just want something from me.
00:42:55Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:43:00But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:43:07I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:43:09I don't need your power, your status, your wealth,
00:43:13your connections.
00:43:16I just need you.
00:43:20I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:43:25Screw the contest.
00:43:27I just want love.
00:43:30Angela!
00:43:32You're drunk.
00:43:34I'm an adult.
00:43:35Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:43:38It's okay.
00:43:44But love isn't.
00:43:46It's not.
00:43:48It's okay.
00:43:53But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:43:57Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:44:09This is what you want.
00:44:19I love you.
00:44:37Nine inch penis.
00:44:39Morning to you too.
00:44:41You sure you were drunk last night?
00:44:43You wouldn't...
00:44:44A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her.
00:44:50Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:44:53But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:44:56Because then they would...
00:44:58Say that you were being unfair?
00:45:00Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:03I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen,
00:45:06my prize was to spend the night with you anyway.
00:45:10Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:45:15You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:19Stop.
00:45:22Fine, fine, fine.
00:45:26I won't tell.
00:45:29But only on one condition.
00:45:32I won't tell.
00:45:35But only on one condition.
00:45:37You have to go out on a date with me.
00:45:41Fine.
00:45:45I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:45:49You never noticed me.
00:45:55You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:46:00It's only 7am.
00:46:02She's still sleeping.
00:46:03I'm not sleeping alone.
00:46:04Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second.
00:46:10Morning, gentlemen.
00:46:12Or shall I say, Ruffman?
00:46:14Oh, don't mind him.
00:46:17What's up, guys?
00:46:18We're ready for the second challenge.
00:46:20No cockroaches this time.
00:46:22Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:46:24That was my bad, Angela.
00:46:26This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:46:28I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:46:30The second challenge is...
00:46:32The second challenge is...
00:46:34A date.
00:46:35Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:46:37A date?
00:46:39That's it.
00:46:40What's the catch?
00:46:41No catch.
00:46:42Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:46:45As simple as that.
00:46:46I know what I want to do.
00:46:47Let's start with me first.
00:46:48Okay, who's up first?
00:46:49Then...
00:46:50Me.
00:46:51Save the best for last.
00:46:53Ain't that right, Angela?
00:46:55Then it's decided.
00:47:00Please don't take my BMW away.
00:47:03Too bad.
00:47:04You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:47:06I have nothing left.
00:47:11It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:47:17It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:47:26Do you know Eisenhower, sir?
00:47:28At ease, Lieutenant.
00:47:30This is my lieutenant.
00:47:31He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:33Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:47:35I'm sorry, Lieutenant.
00:47:36I'm sorry.
00:47:37I'm sorry.
00:47:38I'm sorry.
00:47:39Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:47:41He's so serious.
00:47:42But, hang on.
00:47:44Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:47:47Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:47:52Guns, like murder weapons?
00:47:55Yes.
00:47:56Murder weapons.
00:48:10I like my guns, babe.
00:48:12Pretty Lockhart.
00:48:13Yeah.
00:48:15Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:48:17Lieutenant!
00:48:19Come close.
00:48:21Wait.
00:48:22You're just going to hit him like that?
00:48:23He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:24Fighting back would be treason, ma'am.
00:48:26Treason?
00:48:27You guys are way too serious.
00:48:30Look, you Lockhart bitch.
00:48:31I caught you.
00:48:32If I'm caught, you're dead.
00:48:34You guys are way too serious.
00:48:36Look, you Lockhart bitch.
00:48:38I caught you.
00:48:39If I'm going down, you're all going down with me.
00:48:42Lieutenant, here's your attack.
00:48:56You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:49:01I will make you pay!
00:49:04If you don't need to keep beating him up, we could just take him to the cops.
00:49:07Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:49:15He's always a bit violent.
00:49:17Some might call it being protective.
00:49:19Poor anger issues.
00:49:21What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:49:25Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:49:28Hey, some girls are into that.
00:49:30I don't know if I am.
00:49:33Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:49:38Your date with Shane starts now.
00:49:43Hey.
00:49:45Hey.
00:49:46Cool ride.
00:49:48A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:49:51Impressive.
00:49:55Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:49:58Refreshing.
00:50:00I got cool mint, too.
00:50:02Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:50:05What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:50:08Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:50:11So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:50:13Let me show you.
00:50:21Dr. Wilson!
00:50:23Our VIP of VIPs!
00:50:25Right this way.
00:50:26VIP of VIPs?
00:50:28Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:50:30I forget who.
00:50:31You saved a lot of people.
00:50:33I'll do what I can.
00:50:35Oh, my gosh.
00:50:37It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:50:42Sandra Miller.
00:50:44What are you doing here?
00:50:45I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:50:48Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:50:50and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:50:55Hello of you.
00:50:57What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:50:59Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:51:01I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high end,
00:51:04you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:51:08The auction begins.
00:51:10I'll deal with you later.
00:51:13Here, I'll just be one second.
00:51:19Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:51:24Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:51:27Cleopatra's armband.
00:51:29Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:51:33For five million dollars.
00:51:36Excuse me.
00:51:37I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:40It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:43I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:46It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:48What are you doing?
00:51:49Just watch.
00:51:51Come on.
00:51:52Come on.
00:51:57That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:51:59Please.
00:52:00I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:52:02She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:52:05You work at a flea market?
00:52:07Not this again.
00:52:08Cut the bullshit.
00:52:09That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:52:11Oh yeah?
00:52:12Here, you want it?
00:52:13For free.
00:52:14Ew!
00:52:15I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:52:19Well, that's too bad then.
00:52:21Because you are the fraud.
00:52:25What are you talking about?
00:52:26Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:28Throw them out.
00:52:30Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine.
00:52:33But we're professionals.
00:52:35Oh yeah?
00:52:36And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:52:40Yeah.
00:52:41Mine is the real thing.
00:52:42You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:52:48Why is that so?
00:52:49When a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:52:53Dear Lord.
00:52:56This is real.
00:52:58It's authentic.
00:52:59It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:53:05Karen, what have you found?
00:53:07Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:53:10It's a replica.
00:53:13They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:53:16So, you are the fraud.
00:53:20You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:53:23And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:27150.
00:53:28Wow.
00:53:29Not even five dollars.
00:53:31Sandra.
00:53:33You've been duping us the whole time?
00:53:36Arrest her!
00:53:38No!
00:53:39Please!
00:53:40This is my time!
00:53:41Please!
00:53:42What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:53:44Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:53:48Bye.
00:53:49Black Callista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:54:00I had a really great time tonight.
00:54:02Me too.
00:54:04May I have a kiss?
00:54:15Something wrong?
00:54:17Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:25Yep.
00:54:26You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:54:37Ha!
00:54:39You.
00:54:41Ha!
00:54:43You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:54:47I don't have any money.
00:54:49How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:54:52I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:54:59Stop!
00:55:03Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:55:07Mr. Buffett.
00:55:12This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:15That's right.
00:55:16Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:55:19I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:22I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:24No, no, sir.
00:55:25Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:55:27It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:55:30Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:55:33And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:55:39Angela still loves me.
00:55:40She's just throwing a fit.
00:55:41She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:55:43Yeah.
00:55:44Do you need any help winning her back?
00:55:46We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:55:49I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:55:52and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:55:54It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:55:58Sure.
00:55:59I'll put in a good word for you.
00:56:01I just need...
00:56:02Anything.
00:56:03You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:56:05Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:56:08I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:56:17I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper just like you asked me to.
00:56:21Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:25Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:27I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:56:29That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:56:31It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:56:35And if he can't, then what?
00:56:37He'll be bankrupt.
00:56:38So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:56:42I'm avenging my best friend.
00:56:44I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:56:54I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:56:57We should celebrate.
00:56:58You did?
00:57:00You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:57:02That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:57:06And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:57:09Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:57:14What?
00:57:16You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:57:18Oh, no, no, no. He's not.
00:57:20Jared, what are you doing?
00:57:22You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:57:26It's my decision, Mom.
00:57:28I'm the head of the house here.
00:57:30I'm telling my dad.
00:57:32Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:57:34If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:57:37But if not, you can scram.
00:57:40Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:57:43Teach him a lesson.
00:57:44Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:57:46Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:57:50Don't get on his bad side.
00:57:52We can't afford to piss him off.
00:57:54So do as he says.
00:57:56But Dad...
00:58:04I'm sorry.
00:58:06I'll be your side piece.
00:58:08Very good. I'm happy you've come around.
00:58:11Now let's go celebrate.
00:58:16I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:58:20But that tongue action, though.
00:58:22Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:58:25Ellen, we are in public.
00:58:27It's true.
00:58:28Oh, stomachache.
00:58:30Again?
00:58:31I have to run to the bathroom.
00:58:32Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:58:34Okay.
00:58:36Devin's late.
00:58:38Not a good sign for a date.
00:58:42This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:58:47It's her.
00:58:48And she's alone.
00:58:49With no one to save her.
00:58:53You whore.
00:58:54You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:58:57Let me tell you.
00:58:58I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:59:06Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:59:09Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:59:12What? Why do I have to leave? She's the one starting shit.
00:59:15Because I have money and you don't.
00:59:18You're just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:59:20And my son just signed a contract with you.
00:59:23You're just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:59:25And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:59:29He still got the contract?
00:59:32Must be Ellen's doing.
00:59:34Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:59:38Oh, he's just gonna...
00:59:40Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:44Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:48You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:59:54My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:59:57$1,000 to take her away.
01:00:00$2,000 to drag her away.
01:00:03$5,000 to beat her away.
01:00:09Oh, hey! Hey!
01:00:14You okay? Are you hurt?
01:00:18Weakling.
01:00:21You! You! Just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
01:00:27And now you have two more? What a whore.
01:00:31What a whore.
01:00:32Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
01:00:35What if she has an STD?
01:00:37Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
01:00:41Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
01:00:44Hang on.
01:00:47What do you want?
01:00:48I'll scream!
01:00:50I don't hit women. But I never said I don't kill women.
01:00:55But I never said I don't kill women.
01:00:58Oh, God. He is a murderer.
01:01:01What if he murders me?
01:01:02Not him. Definitely not him.
01:01:09We're not afraid of you.
01:01:11That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:01:13You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:01:18I was just messing with him.
01:01:20Was he, though?
01:01:21We're not afraid of you.
01:01:24Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:01:26Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:01:29She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:01:31Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:01:33I apologize for this scene.
01:01:35I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:01:39Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:42Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:44The potty crashes.
01:01:48You have any idea who that is?
01:01:50That's my wife.
01:01:51You saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:01:54That's right. Know your place.
01:01:56Shut up.
01:01:57She's cheating on you.
01:02:01Know your place. You're just a side piece, if I still want you, that is.
01:02:05Eric, have you gone mad?
01:02:07This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter. You slap her for this whore?
01:02:11Mom!
01:02:12You really think there's something, huh?
01:02:14Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:02:18She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:02:21I only got the Maple Closet Project because she gave it to me.
01:02:25What?
01:02:27You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:02:37I'm sorry.
01:02:39No.
01:02:41This can't be.
01:02:43I made you divorce...
01:02:47Go home.
01:02:49You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:02:57I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:03:00Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:03:04I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:03:07I didn't come here for you.
01:03:10I'm on a date.
01:03:12A date with two men at the same time?
01:03:15She really is a whore.
01:03:17Angela, please forgive me.
01:03:19I really do love you.
01:03:22Oh ho! Lady Knockout is here!
01:03:27Oh ho! Lady Knockout is here!
01:03:31Yeah, yeah, we already know you beat Ford's ass up.
01:03:35We're too old for that.
01:03:36They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:03:38Please, you gave me the contract so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:03:44Oh yes, please, Ms. Lockhart, join us.
01:03:47We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:03:50What the hell are you all doing here?
01:03:53Where were you?
01:03:54Stomach issues.
01:03:56Again?
01:03:57Would you like my diagnosis?
01:03:59No.
01:04:02Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:04:05I would rather die than be with you again.
01:04:09Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:04:13I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:04:15Otherwise they'll cut me off too.
01:04:17Angela, I know you're still mad but please give me a chance.
01:04:19I'll prove it to you.
01:04:21You want a chance?
01:04:23Angela, no.
01:04:24You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:04:27Don't take him back.
01:04:29I'll give you two choices.
01:04:33I'll give you two choices.
01:04:37Me or the contract.
01:04:40You're kidding me.
01:04:41No, I'm not kidding you.
01:04:44If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:04:48But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:04:52The choice is all yours.
01:04:54That's a tough choice.
01:04:56You think so?
01:04:57He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:05:01Either way, he benefits.
01:05:03Why can't I have both?
01:05:05You really are a greedy bastard.
01:05:08Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:05:10I deserve the contract.
01:05:12Did you really?
01:05:18Look who's fashionably late now.
01:05:21He didn't save her at the pool.
01:05:23Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:26I choose the contract.
01:05:28I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you.
01:05:32With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:05:36Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:05:40I will get you one day.
01:05:42Let me show you something.
01:05:45You saved me.
01:05:51You saved me.
01:05:53I'm sorry.
01:05:55If his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:05:59But I promise you,
01:06:02I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:06:05I promise.
01:06:07I promise.
01:06:09I promise.
01:06:12I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:06:15No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:06:17I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:27Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:31What? Me?
01:06:33Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:06:36No way.
01:06:38You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:06:42You're crazy.
01:06:44And actually,
01:06:46they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:06:49What?
01:06:52Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:06:55Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:06:59Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:07:02I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:07:05I'm so sorry.
01:07:07I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:07:09No, it's not your fault.
01:07:11They're just too slick.
01:07:13You'd like me to punish them for that?
01:07:15Oh God, no. Not that again.
01:07:17Please.
01:07:18Max, you know what to do.
01:07:21The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:07:35All business ties have been severed.
01:07:37We're bankrupt!
01:07:43How did you do that?
01:07:45Who are you?
01:07:46And don't say Spider-Man!
01:07:48I'll tell you who I am.
01:07:52I'll tell you who I am.
01:07:56I am...
01:07:58Crypto-Punk Number Two!
01:08:00What did he say he was?
01:08:02That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:08:04You're Crypto-Punk Number Two?
01:08:06Well, I'm Crypto-Punk Number One.
01:08:09See? You are number one at something.
01:08:12The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:08:15The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:08:18Forget Forbes' list.
01:08:20It's all about young money now.
01:08:22So, how about our date?
01:08:30I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:08:32Let's buy two.
01:08:46They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:08:49I still have the $100 billion project.
01:08:52Yes! I'm rich!
01:08:55They'll make them all pay soon!
01:09:03What?
01:09:04Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:09:06The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:09:10Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:09:14No!
01:09:16I'm bankrupt!
01:09:18I need a little lock-on.
01:09:20You tricked me!
01:09:27Oh, allow me.
01:09:31I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:09:33I had to get some very important materials
01:09:37for our special date.
01:09:39Well, cheers.
01:09:41Cheers.
01:09:45Cheers.
01:09:51This looks good.
01:09:57Did you use my spices?
01:09:59I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:10:04You can have all the money and power in the world
01:10:07and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:10:11I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:10:17Angela.
01:10:19Your future with me
01:10:23is going to be different.
01:10:25Come on.
01:10:27Let's dance.
01:10:41Come on.
01:10:46Wow.
01:10:48Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years
01:10:53just because of some silly mistake.
01:10:56Angela.
01:10:58I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:11:01Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:11:05That's right.
01:11:07I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:11:09How is all of this possible?
01:11:12I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:11:15Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:11:20I've had a crush on you since college.
01:11:23You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:11:27Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:11:33Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500
01:11:37in a suit like that?
01:11:41All you do is babble on and on about Internet money,
01:11:45Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:11:48Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:11:52I'll teach you a lesson.
01:11:55Hey! Get away from her!
01:11:57Angela!
01:12:005C girl. I like her.
01:12:07How is he?
01:12:09It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots
01:12:12found in Africa.
01:12:14Can it be cured?
01:12:16I actually think I know that poison.
01:12:18It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found
01:12:21in any developed country.
01:12:23Household salt.
01:12:32I like her.
01:12:35I like her.
01:12:38There you go.
01:12:40Time is up.
01:12:43Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:12:52I like her.
01:12:54We have been rivals ever since.
01:12:57So, that's how I... well, we all met.
01:13:02I barely remember.
01:13:04I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:13:07Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me,
01:13:10tapped you out of revenge.
01:13:12You wouldn't have known.
01:13:13I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:13:15If that makes you feel any better.
01:13:17Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:13:19Yeah.
01:13:20Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:13:22Now that you know they all loved and fought for you
01:13:25for three years, who will you pick?
01:13:33How can that be?
01:13:35Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:13:42Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:13:46Bankrupt?
01:13:48The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:13:51Well then, get out of here!
01:13:54You can't do this to me!
01:13:58Jared!
01:13:59Mom, it's me.
01:14:00What happened?
01:14:02Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:14:05Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:14:07You should get back with your wife.
01:14:09We're bankrupt.
01:14:11What?
01:14:15Jared Cooper.
01:14:18We're here to repost your belongings.
01:14:22No one is going to save you now.
01:14:24What?
01:14:27Ow!
01:14:29What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:14:35Who will you pick?
01:14:39I...
01:14:45I brought you fried chicken.
01:14:47Fried chicken?
01:14:48Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:14:50Yeah, he's right.
01:14:51I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:14:53Sucking up last minute!
01:14:55At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:14:58Hey, stop. Stop.
01:15:01Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:15:04I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:15:07I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:15:10You know what I mean.
01:15:12Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:15:15which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:15:19Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:15:23Cole, the general?
01:15:27Or Devin, the CEO?
01:15:33Looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:15:37Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:15:40But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:15:43made from glass imported from Venice
01:15:46and give it to our winner.
01:15:48Angela.
01:15:51Angela.
01:15:52Oh, I...
01:15:56I need more time to think.
01:16:02While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:16:05why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:16:08Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:16:11Let's start with Cole.
01:16:13Cole.
01:16:18There's not much to say.
01:16:20Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:16:22who has huge biceps,
01:16:24a massive chest,
01:16:27who would protect their wife?
01:16:31Okay, thank you.
01:16:33Uh, Shane?
01:16:36Muscles, money,
01:16:39they only get you so far.
01:16:41But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:16:43that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:16:46if you know what I mean.
01:16:50Okay, I think we do.
01:16:52And Devin.
01:16:55That was quite disgusting.
01:16:59I just hope Angela's okay.
01:17:01I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:17:04a lot of choices to make.
01:17:06And she's my queen.
01:17:08I just really hope she's okay.
01:17:10And one more thing.
01:17:12What kind of a doctor
01:17:14brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:17:16That's a good point.
01:17:18And then you, what?
01:17:20You know what they say about military men.
01:17:23They beat their lives.
01:17:28Enough.
01:17:31Stand up.
01:17:33Hey, you guys.
01:17:36Whoa, break it up.
01:17:38Hey, break it up.
01:17:40Ugh!
01:17:42Ugh!
01:17:44That's a commercial.
01:17:47That's a commercial.
01:17:49That's a commercial.
01:18:08This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make
01:18:10in my entire life.
01:18:13Who do I choose?
01:18:16Angela.
01:18:22Angela's marrying me.
01:18:24You're not stealing her from me.
01:18:26Oh yeah?
01:18:28I may be a doctor, but like I said,
01:18:30I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:18:35What don't you have in that coat?
01:18:37Fruit flavored gum.
01:18:39I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:18:41I'll fight you to the death.
01:18:43Don't forget about me.
01:18:45It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:49These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:18:52They do not help.
01:18:54Who made these?
01:18:56Ugh.
01:19:13It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:19I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:19:22And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:19:27Ugh!
01:19:40We may have to work together to take him down.
01:19:43No!
01:19:53This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:19:58I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:20:01Hmm.
01:20:02Winter Mint or Cool Mint?
01:20:08You know,
01:20:10I've always really liked your hair.
01:20:12Really?
01:20:14I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:20:17So I appreciate that.
01:20:20And you know,
01:20:22I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:20:26Really?
01:20:27Yeah.
01:20:30What do you got for me?
01:20:32I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:20:35Yeah?
01:20:36It's fresh, right?
01:20:39Yeah, yeah, yeah!
01:20:41You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:20:43Hey, hey.
01:20:44You need me to look at you?
01:20:46I got you.
01:20:47Hey, me?
01:20:48Angela's been kidnapped!
01:20:50Angela's been kidnapped!
01:20:53It was Jerry Cooper!
01:20:55That fucker!
01:20:56We have to find her.
01:20:57What, how?
01:20:58Her ring.
01:20:59Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:21:02Well, let's go then!
01:21:04My phone!
01:21:05My fiance!
01:21:06My fiance!
01:21:08My fiance!
01:21:12Jared.
01:21:16What am I doing here?
01:21:19You destroyed me.
01:21:22I took everything.
01:21:25What?
01:21:26I have nothing left.
01:21:28It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:21:31I wasn't greedy.
01:21:33I didn't have sex with my wife.
01:21:35What?
01:21:36I'm not your wife anymore.
01:21:38Oh yeah, I know.
01:21:39You wouldn't take me back now, not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:21:42This is illegal.
01:21:43You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:21:46You won't have me arrested.
01:21:48You will take me back.
01:21:52Come on, bitch.
01:21:55I'll settle you down a little.
01:21:58Shh.
01:22:05You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:22:10Hey!
01:22:12Angela, come here!
01:22:17You're too late!
01:22:18I drugged her.
01:22:19She'll be dead soon unless...
01:22:20Not yet.
01:22:21Have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:24He really does have everything he has to coach.
01:22:26Everything except for fruit.
01:22:27Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:22:28Get it already.
01:22:29Just save my balls!
01:22:32Here you go.
01:22:38You're all good now.
01:22:40Oh, thank God.
01:22:42But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:44What?
01:22:45What are you going to do to me?
01:22:47Hey, stop!
01:22:48No!
01:22:50Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:22:56No!
01:22:58Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:23:00Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:23:08So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:23:10Have you invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding?
01:23:13The Prince of Bhutan?
01:23:15And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:23:20Welcome back to the finale of...
01:23:22The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:24We're down to the wire.
01:23:26Literally.
01:23:27The wedding day.
01:23:28But who's the groom?
01:23:42Welcome back to the finale of...
01:23:44The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:46Welcome back to the finale of...
01:23:48The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:50But who's the groom?
01:23:55Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:23:59Any input from the parents?
01:24:01Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:24:05This is exciting.
01:24:06Who should my daughter pick?
01:24:09Let me think.
01:24:13I like the doctor.
01:24:15He's cute.
01:24:18But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:24:22And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:24:25Isn't that right, Devon?
01:24:27Angela.
01:24:35You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:24:40And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:24:43But...
01:24:44This was a really hard decision.
01:24:46And...
01:24:48I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:24:52And...
01:24:54I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:25:00I'm just kidding.
01:25:01I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:25:07Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:25:11I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:25:13They've all proven their undying love.
01:25:17So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:25:20Literally.
01:25:23Could it be...
01:25:24The sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:25:34Or...
01:25:35The fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird,
01:25:39Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:25:44And last but not least...
01:25:45Could it be...
01:25:46The richest man of them all,
01:25:48the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:25:51Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:25:56Gentlemen.
01:25:58It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:26:00May the best man win.
01:26:03May the best man win.
01:26:06Drum roll, please.
01:26:10Gotta make you understand
01:26:12Never gonna give you up
01:26:14Never gonna let you down
01:26:16Never gonna run around and desert you
01:26:21Daringly, Ricky.
01:26:29I choose...
01:26:40I need a powerful, strong man
01:26:42who I really feel like he can protect me.
01:26:46Who could resist those guys?
01:26:51Would it interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:26:53Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:54Let's go.
01:27:08Shane, it's you.
01:27:10I'm lovesick for you.
01:27:12You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:17It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:27:20Ellen, be my new queen.
01:27:21I hope we can go together.
01:27:23Let's make love, babe.
01:27:36It's always been you.
01:27:46I'll always love you.
01:27:50Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:27:53Ellen, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:27:55Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:27:56I need fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:28:24I, Selene Lovett,
01:28:26accept my role as Nightwind's pack Luna
01:28:29and your wife.
01:28:32I, Alexander Kane,
01:28:35fucking love you.
01:28:41Yes!
01:28:43Yes!
01:28:45Yes!
01:28:47Yes!
01:28:48Yes!
01:28:49Yes!
01:28:50Yes!
01:28:51Yes!
01:28:52Yes!
01:29:01Wow. Two alphas together.