"How Can I Get Married Without Flirting, DAD?” / Hard Questions From A Daughter To Muslim Father
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00:00Dad, if dating is haram in Islam, how am I going to get married?
00:04How can you ask something like that?
00:06How can you ask me something like that?
00:08Just joking, of course you can ask
00:10Can you give one example where you disagree with me?
00:13What comes to your mind?
00:14You don't allow me to eat chicken with ketchup
00:17They can be together
00:19It is a crime to do this
00:21Dad, as you know I have started wearing hijab recently
00:24So I have that fear of being limited because of my hijab
00:27Can I really do anything I want with my hijab?
00:30Some people think that religion is all about just praying five times a day
00:33Or fasting or Ramadan and nothing else
00:35The word deen means way of life
00:37The way you live your life is equal to deen
00:40So the way you sit with people, the way you interact with people
00:43The way you gather with people is all under the rulings of Islam
00:47This is an amazing thing that you asked me this question
00:50Thank you for asking
00:52It's really hard for me to think that you will get married someday
00:56It's really far actually, future, but yeah
00:58You should get yourself prepared for this
01:00I have to reconcile with this fact
01:04Assalamu alaikum, today is a really special day for me
01:06Inshallah for the Eternal Passenger YouTube channel
01:08We are going to have a heartfelt conversation with my beloved daughter
01:11My name is Yawal, I am 15, I am a high school student
01:13I am a volunteer in the Eternal Passenger women team
01:16My name is Ahmed, for the ones who don't know I work at Towards Eternity
01:19I am one of the presenters and also interviewers
01:21So I prepared some questions, especially female Muslims ask
01:25And they wonder the answer but they have no courage to ask
01:27So not all of them are easy, the questions I prepared
01:30So are you ready to sweat a little bit?
01:32Ok, I am ready
01:33The first question is
01:34Dad, as you know I have started wearing hijab recently
01:37So I had that fear of being limited because of my hijab
01:40So I want to ask you a question
01:42Can I really do anything I want with my hijab?
01:46Do you want to tell us your hijab story?
01:48It didn't happen all of a sudden
01:50But I had that period of thinking like the advantages and disadvantages
01:53I was like taking notes, like what will happen when I wear a hijab
01:56And you came to me like 13 items for wearing hijab
02:00Like 4 not wearing hijab
02:02So you just listed all of them to me
02:04And one of the funniest one is
02:06Can you tell me?
02:07We sometimes send you to grocery to buy bread or milk or something
02:11And you always were fighting with your brother
02:13Yes
02:14You will go
02:15I don't want to go
02:16You don't want to go
02:17So you wrote that if I wear hijab
02:19Because it will take time for me to cover my head
02:21Always my brother will go
02:23It's a really good advantage
02:25And it really happened by the way
02:26Yes it happened
02:27You always say to Kerem that
02:28From then on I don't go to grocery like Kerem is the
02:31This is a reward for you
02:32Yes it's really good
02:34So my hijab story is
02:36I started wearing hijab on the day we went to Umrah
02:38But I had that process of thinking really
02:40Like what would people around me react
02:43When you started this Islamic school
02:45You know we had this private conversation
02:47Yes I remember yes
02:49I called you let's eat something together
02:52I was really surprised I was like why?
02:54You have a bad daughter
02:55Yes
02:56Just two of us
02:57Why are you taking me to this place?
02:59What is going to happen?
03:00I was really nervous really
03:01And I told you
03:02And also same
03:03So use the same tactic by the way
03:04With your grandfather
03:05I said that
03:06Because you were just about to start this Islamic school
03:08And I said how about you start with wearing hijab
03:10Yes I remember
03:11If you just Inshallah achieve this
03:13I'm willing to buy anything you want
03:15Just for encouragement
03:16But it was just before the day I will go to
03:18Yeah it was not a good timing I know
03:19I was like I have one day
03:20I just wanted to plant that seed
03:21Yes and it's actually like
03:23It works really
03:24And I made this proposal
03:26And then I was always fearing
03:27And your mother was also fearing that
03:29If you wear hijab for the wrong reasons
03:31You might take it out
03:32And you might get traumatized
03:33So you can tell me
03:34Are you feeling limited with hijab?
03:36Because you can compare now
03:37Actually no because like
03:38My life didn't change that much
03:40Because I can go to places that my religion allows me to
03:43So like hijab prevents me to go to places
03:46That I actually wouldn't want to go
03:48I can visit some places
03:49So I can do whatever I want
03:51According to my religion of course
03:53As you saw hijab doesn't limit you
03:55You can go with your friends
03:57You can go to cafe
03:58You can sit you can relax
03:59You can go to vacation
04:00Actually I can do whatever I want
04:01You can ride a bike
04:02In a halal way yeah
04:03Yeah sure
04:04Dad if dating is haram in Islam
04:06How am I going to get married?
04:08How should I act in such cases?
04:09And for example
04:10How should I behave when I feel that I love someone?
04:16How can you ask something like that?
04:18Just joking
04:21It's amazing thing that you asked me this question
04:23Because if you don't ask me
04:24But ask other people
04:25You might get wrong information
04:27And you might do bad things
04:28Or inappropriate things
04:29So thank you for asking
04:31So that's why I'm asking you
04:32I know you were feeling like kind of afraid
04:34But this is totally fine
04:35I prepared for myself to ask this question
04:39It's really hard for me to think that
04:41You will get married someday
04:42But leave home
04:43But have to reconcile with this life
04:45It's really far actually future
04:47But yeah you just get yourself prepared for this
04:50Islam does not forbid you to meet
04:52The person you're planning to marry
04:54And even you can tell your father
04:56That I like this person
04:57I think this is a good candidate for me to marry
04:59You might consider meeting with him
05:01Even you can
05:02Even before the other person comes to you
05:04You can come to me
05:05And tell me
05:06And this is really noble act to do on your part
05:08By the way definitely
05:09So the part that gets damaged in these relationships
05:12Are women of course
05:13Are female
05:14It protects the emotions of the woman
05:16Because you're fragile
05:18You are sensitive
05:19Islam takes care of this
05:20And if you feel that you have the same priorities
05:23And you like that person
05:24You know physically
05:25And also is a person that meets your criteria
05:29And of course
05:30Not at the top
05:31Must be the religion of course
05:32And then it can proceed to marriage
05:34Inshallah
05:35So Islam wants to protect the dignity of women
05:37And Islam wants to protect the family
05:39Islam doesn't want mothers bringing up their children
05:41Without a father
05:42So there's a hikmah of our religion
05:44Not allowing us to flirt
05:46So some friends of mine
05:47Find very difficult to be consistent in their prayers
05:50So what should they do?
05:51Like how did you manage to pray regularly?
05:53Or did it happen all of a sudden?
05:55Or it became regular over time?
05:59When I was not fully practicing
06:01I was saying to myself
06:02And it just had this tied me to the religion
06:05In some periods
06:06I was like okay the prayer
06:07Salah is more important
06:08So I have to build this habit as well
06:09And I told you
06:10We are now praying together in congregation
06:12Yes
06:13All of our Isha prayers
06:14And we prayed in congregation
06:15It was really amazing
06:16And personally I'll just tell you
06:18Jan you went to Ankara
06:19The hometown of your mother
06:21And you visited your grandparents there
06:23And before that I prayed to Allah
06:25Oh Allah please allow them to pray 5 times a day regularly
06:29Please create a chance
06:30Opportunity for them to just pray 5 times a day
06:32And tell us what happened there
06:34My grandfather
06:35He decided to give us 10 Liras
06:37For each prayer we established
06:39Together right?
06:40Yeah together
06:41And it was a really good motivation
06:42Back then I was doing it for money actually
06:44My intention wasn't for the sake of Allah
06:4610 Liras was a good money back then
06:48Yeah it was good
06:49So over time that intention changed
06:51And Alhamdulillah I'm trying to
06:52Please Allah
06:53Yeah it was a really good motivation for me
06:55My grandfather made me love praying
06:57When you came back a week later
06:59You were praying 5 times a day
07:00Oh Allah
07:01It was so sudden that Allah accepted my prayer
07:04I felt so blessed really
07:06So you did that prayer really sincerely
07:08It was a heartfelt prayer
07:09Not everyone can have grandparents
07:11To give them 10 Liras for each prayer
07:13So there must be a practical method right?
07:15Yes of course
07:16So Alhamdulillah our team developed an application
07:18Called 5 Alive
07:19Which tracks your prayers for 40 days
07:21It has a gamification method
07:23And when you complete all the prayers in one day
07:25One of the trees in your garden flourishes
07:27And you have another flower
07:29So in order to have a really big, huge, beautiful garden
07:31You try to accomplish these things
07:33It was like a motivation for you
07:34So attractive for teenagers actually
07:35Like the games
07:36If our followers want to download this
07:38And Inshallah the app tracks you
07:40After 40 days you become accustomed to praying
07:43It will become really easy for you to continue Inshallah
07:45So for me it happened like all of a sudden actually
07:47Because like in a week
07:48Because not over time
07:49But what was for you like
07:50How did you manage to pray regularly?
07:52Also my father was calling us
07:54For every prayer
07:55Especially when he came home after Maghrib
07:57So we were all together
07:58Like 7 people with 4 of my siblings
08:00Alhamdulillah we got this habit
08:02But I have to warn that
08:03When your relationship with Allah decreases
08:05Your Salahs become also more loose
08:07And you can lose that relationship
08:10It can even go down to once a day
08:12So we have to work on our Iman all the time
08:14Because our state changes
08:16It's not like a knowledge
08:17Do you remember going to this winter vacation?
08:20When we went to this mountain
08:21Yes I remember
08:22Please tell me
08:23It was winter
08:24And we were like having a great time with my cousins
08:26And it's prayer time
08:27So we found a place
08:28Like there was water coming
08:30But the water was like super cold
08:32There was snow everywhere
08:33Yes and I made wudu in that situation
08:35It was like
08:36I was feeling like a hero
08:37Because it's a really challenging situation
08:40Alhamdulillah
08:41You know what I told you?
08:42I told you if you make wudu here
08:44Yes you will win
08:45You won't find any excuses not to do it elsewhere
08:48Yes I remember
08:49Alhamdulillah it was a really turning point
08:52Think about the darkest moment in your life
08:54Now imagine a light appeared
08:56Guiding you out of that darkness
08:57That light could be a video made possible by your support
09:01As the Eternal Passenger Women Volunteer Team
09:03With your help
09:04We have already inspired many people
09:06To embrace Islam
09:07Wear hijab
09:08And start praying
09:09Now we want to create an Islamic youth center
09:11For women
09:12To change even more lives
09:13Inshallah
09:14You can support this effort
09:15By clicking the super thanks button
09:16Or donating to our Patreon
09:18Because we believe that changing one woman's life
09:20Can shape the future of an entire generation
09:26Dad, like every young person
09:27I sometimes find it difficult to get along with you
09:29Especially at this age
09:30When our differences of opinion increase
09:33What advice does our religion give us in this regard?
09:35Like which behaviors should we pay attention to
09:37As teenagers?
09:40One example where you disagree with me
09:42What comes to your mind?
09:43You don't allow me to eat chicken with ketchup
09:46They can be together
09:47Please
09:48It can be
09:49Why not?
09:50I can eat it
09:51It's like a crime really
09:52Mayonnaise and chicken is fine
09:53Just ketchup and chicken is like
09:55I cannot accept this
09:56But you know
09:57Even I don't bring ketchup from the refrigerator
09:59And this chicken on the table
10:00Yes and I go and take it with myself
10:02I know but
10:03Yeah of course
10:04This is one of the things that I really cannot tolerate
10:06But I will learn inshallah
10:07I will learn
10:08I'm not more tolerant
10:09Jokes aside
10:10By the way
10:11I can see sometimes
10:12When you disagree with me
10:13You just roll your eyes
10:15And you say
10:17I see these things
10:18You try to hide these things
10:19But these are normal
10:20I accept it
10:21Definitely normal
10:22And you're really respectful
10:23I know that
10:24And you don't want to break our hearts
10:25Also your mother as well
10:26Of course
10:27But it's natural
10:28We always think that like
10:29As parents
10:30Our children will be just like us
10:31Allah created you
10:32With a different personality
10:33Different fitrah
10:34Of course this is very normal
10:35We are bound to have differences
10:36This is a joke of course
10:37Ketchup chicken
10:38I cannot accept this but
10:39Yeah
10:40I have to respect it
10:41But you should also bear in mind
10:43That since you're a teenager
10:44And you don't have this experience
10:45You can maybe look at things from one angle
10:47From one perspective
10:48And this can mislead you
10:49So you have to consult us
10:50Tell us about our opinion
10:52Because we have a kind of a broader perspective
10:54When it comes to religion of course
10:55This is a different story
10:56As you know
10:57Allah wants us to obey our parents
10:59But if they say something that Allah doesn't want
11:01Then you have to disobey
11:03You have the right to say something
11:04Yeah
11:05I also felt the same like you by the way
11:06When I was your age
11:07I also thought that my parents don't understand me
11:09Why do they have these opinions
11:10They don't sometimes
11:11It doesn't make sense
11:12But when I got to their age
11:13When I became a parent
11:14I understood that they were right
11:15If we make good deeds
11:17You are also earning the tawaf
11:18Yeah but at the same time
11:19If we make bad deeds
11:20We also get these
11:21But I'm thinking about the positive side
11:22So yeah
11:23It also has negative side
11:24But yeah
11:25I think it's a really good advantage
11:26Maybe
11:27And it's just like you were correcting us
11:28And I was like really
11:29I know that having this
11:30Alhamdulillah
11:31Good deeds
11:32Will be really beneficial
11:33Of course for you
11:34And for us as well
11:35And this legacy must continue
11:36As a 15 year old teenage girl
11:37Can I have a private life?
11:38Or do I have to tell you
11:39About everything in my life?
11:40Is it okay to hide something?
11:44Of course you don't have to tell us
11:45Everything about your life
11:46You can have some privacy
11:47And respect that of course
11:48You can talk with your friends
11:49And you can have these
11:50You know
11:51Long phone calls
11:52Thank you
11:54Of course
11:55But when there are things
11:56That you cannot really solve
11:57And you're confused
11:58And you have some bad feelings
11:59In your conscience
12:00And the problems
12:01That you cannot solve
12:02I have those times
12:03Yeah I have
12:04So we are here for you
12:05Of course
12:06Every time
12:07And this is really important
12:08Because when you hesitate to come
12:09Then the problem is ours
12:10Maybe we answered you
12:11In a rude way
12:12Or maybe disrespectful way
12:13Or saying that
12:14How can you ask this to us?
12:15Or we intimidated you
12:16So this is a problem
12:17That is you know
12:18Turning at us
12:19So we shouldn't be doing this
12:20Are we doing this to you?
12:21Actually no
12:22No?
12:23Yeah
12:24Alhamdulillah
12:25Alhamdulillah
12:26You're really trying
12:27To solve these problems
12:28Of course we can be sometimes
12:29Critical or perfectionist
12:30But we have to
12:31All the time
12:32Bear in mind that
12:33Allah gave you
12:34In our amanah
12:35We are your parents
12:36For a reason
12:37Because we went the paths
12:38That you are going to pass
12:39And we know
12:40Which dangers
12:41What type of problems
12:42You're going to face
12:43So we have this experience
12:44But at the same time
12:45When you see something wrong
12:46Of course you're growing
12:47In your religion as well
12:48Yeah
12:49You know what is right
12:50What is wrong
12:51According to Allah's rulings
12:52And Islam's teachings
12:53And Prophet's teachings
12:54You can warn us as well
12:55And also I know
12:56That we shouldn't
12:57Make a big deal
12:58Out of every one
12:59Of your problems
13:00And saying that
13:01How can this happen
13:02It's going to be a disaster
13:03Now and we shouldn't
13:04Be like this as well
13:05Yes of course
13:06But it can even come
13:07To a point where
13:08When a daughter
13:09When a girl
13:10Cannot solve her problems
13:11On her own
13:12And make mistake
13:13After mistake
13:14And it can come to a point
13:15That turns into a huge avalanche
13:16These are really sad things
13:17But also serious things
13:18So this relationship
13:19This healthy relationship
13:20Must be set in the family
13:21I think you're really successful
13:22Actually
13:23Really?
13:24Yes
13:25I think so
13:26That
13:27Just joking
13:28I was really afraid
13:29No no
13:30Just joking
13:31Okay okay
13:32I was really afraid
13:33Really
13:34Like you
13:35Your eyes were really big
13:36And okay
13:37So don't do this again
13:38You're used to my jokes
13:39Come on
13:40Yes
13:41But not this
13:42Like that face
13:43Like really
13:44Okay so
13:45Don't do this
13:46What about that
13:47Anymore
13:48Okay so thank you
13:49Because I had a period
13:50Like this
13:51And I was always
13:52Questioning
13:53Like thinking
13:54Is this really the right religion
13:55So have you had periods
13:57This is a really serious issue
13:58So this is completely normal
14:00And this is not acceptable
14:01Especially in our religion
14:02To inherit the religion
14:03From our parents
14:04Because you are not Muslim
14:05Because your father and mother
14:06Are Muslim
14:07And really
14:08Some teenagers say
14:09Like why are you Muslim
14:10Because my father and my mother
14:11But you should question
14:12Like you should search
14:13Our religion resonates
14:14With the conscience
14:15With the heart
14:16And with the mind
14:17Allah says over and over again
14:18In the Quran
14:19Why don't you use your intellect
14:20Why don't you think
14:21Why don't you ponder
14:22Why don't you reflect
14:23Allah encourages us to think
14:24About the religion
14:26About the things
14:27That we are supposed to believe
14:28And we don't have
14:29Like the foundation
14:30The building will
14:31Like collapse so
14:32Definitely
14:33If I tell you
14:34Just please pour this tea
14:35To the carpet
14:36What would you say
14:37Like why
14:38Why really
14:39But if I tell you the reason
14:40Because I'm going to bring
14:41Some cleaner
14:42And you will see
14:43We will test the power
14:44Of this
14:45But my mother won't be relieved
14:46No no
14:47But then you will say
14:48Okay right
14:49Yeah
14:50Why because
14:51Because I know the reason
14:52The reason definitely
14:53If you know the reason
14:54Why you should believe
14:55That angels exist
14:56Miraculousness of the Quran
14:57All these things
14:58When you know this foundation
14:59When you have this foundation
15:00Then you can build upon
15:01This ibadah
15:02Prayer
15:03Fasting
15:04Hijab
15:05Alhamdulillah
15:06One more thing
15:07If our for example
15:08Religiousness level
15:09For example
15:10It's like 100
15:11If I pass on to you
15:12And it's like 80
15:13And you pass on to your kids
15:14It's like 60
15:15It's 40
15:16It's 20
15:17Then religion is gone
15:18In 3 or 4 generations
15:19Even less than
15:20You have to exceed us
15:21Like pass us
15:22We should be like 100
15:23We should be 120
15:24So that you should
15:25Transfer this religion
15:26And my kids should be 140
15:27Yeah
15:28That's how we can
15:29Preserve this faith
15:30Inshallah
15:31My friends sometimes
15:32Invite me to places
15:33That are not religiously
15:34Appropriate
15:35There are also people
15:36I like very much
15:37So how can I say no
15:38Without offending them
15:39Of course
15:40Some people think that
15:41Religion is all about
15:42Just praying 5 times a day
15:43Or fasting or Ramadan
15:44And nothing else
15:45No
15:46Islam is a way of life
15:47The word D means
15:48Way of life
15:49Really
15:50The way you live your life
15:51Is equal to D
15:52So the way you sit with people
15:53The way you interact with people
15:54The way you gather with people
15:55Is all under the rulings of Islam
15:56Go with you
15:57And I will come and pray
15:58No
15:59You shouldn't surround yourself
16:00With bad environment
16:01I don't say
16:02That bad people
16:03But they have bad habits
16:04If you surround yourself
16:05With bad habits
16:06And over time
16:07You will start to look at them
16:08As normal things
16:09And you might think that
16:10Ok
16:11Why should this be wrong
16:12It's not really
16:13Because you got used to that
16:14Like
16:15You got used to it
16:16You know the famous hadith
16:17Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam
16:18Says
16:19I'm paraphrasing
16:20If a person commits sin
16:21A black dot appears
16:22On his heart
16:23And if he doesn't repent
16:24And continues to do these sins
16:25Over and over again
16:26Then all his heart
16:27Becomes covered with black
16:28And until
16:29Comes out of that heart
16:30So it's serious
16:31So we shouldn't even
16:32Take one step towards sin
16:33And also
16:34Many people drink alcohol
16:35Together
16:36Young people
16:37When they come together
16:38Of course
16:39Not in your age
16:40But in the future
16:41That might happen
16:42There's a hadith about this
16:43And whoever believes in Allah
16:44On the last day
16:45Then he is not to sit
16:46At a spread
16:47In which
16:48Meaning
16:49Alcohol
16:51We shouldn't be
16:52In those environments
16:53Even if we are not
16:54Doing that sin
16:55But we shouldn't be
16:56In that environment
16:57Also there's a
16:58Saying of
16:59He says
17:00If you don't live
17:01As you believe
17:02You will start to believe
17:03As you live
17:04As a Muslim
17:05How can I make the people
17:06Around me
17:07Accept my identity
17:08So I don't know
17:09How to deal with
17:10The environmental pressure
17:11I face in daily life
17:12Especially in a situation
17:13Where I'm judged
17:14Because of my religion
17:15How should I act
17:18Of course again
17:19I just remember
17:20You had this experience
17:21In primary school
17:22Yes I had
17:23When you were in 4th grade
17:24Can you tell me
17:25Once there was
17:26A birthday party
17:27And everyone was
17:28Eating something
17:29But it was Ramadan right
17:30It was Ramadan
17:31And I was fasting
17:32But I was the only one
17:33Who was fasting in the class
17:34So I was like
17:35Sitting
17:36And thinking
17:37What am I going to do
17:38Because they were
17:39Serving cake
17:40Yeah they were serving
17:41So one of my friends
17:42Mother came
17:43And she said
17:44Why don't you eat
17:45I was like
17:46I'm fasting
17:47So she was very surprised
17:49And she was
17:50Really amazed
17:51And she was
17:52I think
17:53Regretting that
17:54She's not fasting
17:55This is the opposite scenario
17:56They respected your situation
17:57Yes they respected
17:58But in some cases
17:59They may not respect
18:00I was feeling
18:01A bit lonely
18:02But yeah
18:03I had that
18:04But proud at the same time
18:05Yes of course
18:06I was really proud
18:07Of myself that day
18:08I was really proud
18:09Of you by the way
18:10That day as well
18:11But there are people
18:12That don't have
18:13This upbringing at all
18:14They have different views
18:15Antagonistic views
18:16Against religion
18:17So they may be
18:18Really judgmental
18:19They may think
18:20That they are doing this
18:21For worldly reasons
18:22They just want to gain power
18:23Gain influence
18:24Because of the religion
18:25They want to show off
18:26They want to show
18:27To other people
18:28That we are good people
18:29By just praying
18:30Or something
18:31We shouldn't really
18:32Criticize themselves
18:33But maybe the mindset
18:34Behind it
18:35Yeah
18:36We have to understand
18:37Their situation
18:38Go to them
18:39And say that
18:40I saw that you have
18:41These questions
18:42And maybe you are
18:43Not really respecting me
18:44I want to learn the reason
18:45Because you don't see
18:46The uncle
18:47Who was seemingly religious
18:48But he was a bad person
18:49Or he harmed me
18:50In this way
18:51In that way
18:52Or I saw many bad behaviours
18:53From these people
18:54They make generalisation
18:55That time
18:56They see their uncle
18:57And all of the Muslims
18:58Are like that
18:59They are not
19:00Definitely
19:01So if you can address
19:02Their issues
19:03The root problem
19:04When it goes away
19:05Then the questions
19:06Will also go away
19:07This disrespectful manner
19:08Will also go away
19:09So we shouldn't
19:10Really think that human beings
19:11Are just logical beings
19:12They have heart
19:13They have feelings
19:14If they are hurt
19:15If they have a problem
19:16Then the whole bias
19:17Can go away
19:18So the other question is
19:19I have friends
19:20With different beliefs
19:21And I don't know
19:22What to do
19:23About some things
19:24Like they say
19:25Something bad
19:26About my religion
19:27And I don't know
19:28What to do
19:29I am speechless
19:30Like I cannot answer
19:31Actually I know my religion
19:32But not that deeply
19:33To answer these questions
19:34So what should I do
19:35And should there be
19:36Some boundaries
19:37In my relationships
19:38With them
19:39Depending on
19:40Their sincerity really
19:41I didn't know
19:42That you had such friends
19:43But I think you mentioned
19:44Some of them
19:45Came to a point
19:46That mock the religion
19:47Yeah
19:48They are also
19:49Questioning
19:50Like they are trying
19:51To find a way
19:52But yeah
19:53Should there be
19:54Some limits
19:55In my relationships
19:56First of all
19:57You have to know
19:58Your religion
19:59In the best way possible
20:00So that you can
20:01Explain everything
20:02That they ask
20:03This is one thing
20:04Of course
20:05Second important thing
20:06Is the setting
20:07Is really important
20:08Because when
20:09Four or five people
20:10Are talking to each other
20:11And just mocking the religion
20:12And because they know
20:13That they can make fun of it
20:14Then this is the time
20:15You should avoid them
20:16Of course
20:17You would just
20:18Stand for your religion
20:19And you can have
20:20A sincere conversation
20:21And say that
20:22The other day
20:23You were saying like this
20:24I have an answer for this
20:25And if you do not have the answer
20:26Don't try to come up
20:27With an answer
20:28And making up an answer
20:29But you say
20:30I don't know this issue
20:31In a detailed way
20:32But I will look at it
20:33I will search it
20:34And I will get back
20:35To you and answer it
20:36Inshallah
20:37This is a sincere
20:38And honest way
20:39To deal with these issues
20:40Did you experience such things
20:41I do yeah
20:42I have a friend
20:43Who comes to Medesa
20:44Every week
20:45And she attends the lessons
20:46And she is asking
20:47Some questions to us
20:48So I see a person
20:49And she is coming
20:50Every week
20:51So I am really surprised actually
20:52But I think
20:53She found that
20:54Really good environment
20:55And she wants to claim
20:56Warm environment
20:57So she wants to come
20:58And we are trying
20:59To answer her questions
21:00If we carry ourselves
21:01In the way that Islam wants
21:02Then people
21:03We don't even need
21:04To give dawah
21:05So the next question
21:06That some of my friends
21:07Think that
21:08If they become
21:09More practicing Muslim
21:10Like more religious Muslim
21:11Their lives will be
21:12Boring and restrictive
21:13So how can we
21:14Change this misconception
21:15And how can we
21:16Reconcile Islam
21:17With a life that is
21:18Both fun and happy
21:20You can tell us
21:21Did your life change
21:22For the worse
21:23Or are you now
21:24Getting bored
21:25Of course for the better actually
21:26Because in our Medesa
21:27We are playing volleyball
21:28We are having
21:29Really great time
21:30And you play games
21:31Right
21:32Yeah we can do things
21:33In a halal way of course
21:34But I can do whatever
21:35I want actually
21:36So we go out
21:37Laugh so much
21:38That our stomach hurts
21:39Exactly
21:41We play football
21:42We play basketball
21:43We watch some games
21:44We just go to places
21:45We eat food together
21:46We play together
21:47And without swearing
21:48Without humiliating others
21:49Without backbiting
21:50And without doing
21:51Any of these bad things
21:52Which ruins the relationships
21:53Right
21:54We have this
21:55Alhamdulillah brotherhood
21:56And you have this sisterhood
21:57In Uhura
21:58So because
21:59It's really amazing
22:00To go to a place
22:01Where you feel safe
22:02Where you feel peace
22:03From the harms of other people
22:04Because they have morals
22:05That Islam teaches
22:06They have the fear of Allah
22:07That's why
22:08To be in their place
22:09That's why
22:10To be in their company
22:11Gives you the sense of peace
22:12That otherwise
22:13You cannot even
22:14Never ever get
22:15These are learned things
22:16We are conditioned to do things
22:17If you resist these things
22:18Because of your Iman
22:19You will see that
22:20The realm of the
22:21You know
22:22The halal circle
22:23Is enough
22:24There's no need to enter haram
22:25Dad I want to ask you a question
22:26That has been bothering me
22:27For a long time
22:28So how do you think
22:29Young people can understand
22:30Islam better
22:31What should we do for that?
22:34We have to be
22:35The best ambassadors
22:36That we can
22:37Just like our brothers and sisters
22:38In Palestine
22:39Are doing right now
22:40Even the most
22:41Anti-religion people
22:42Atheist people
22:43Are now considering Islam
22:44Are now curious about Islam
22:45Wants to know about Islam
22:46Some of them even
22:47Converted to Islam
22:48Yeah definitely
22:49Definitely
22:50So what made this happen?
22:51They didn't see them fasting
22:52Yeah
22:53Or we are also fasting and praying
22:54Why don't we impress them?
22:55Why cannot we impress them?
22:56Because they see
22:57They are subservient
22:58They see their
22:59Tawakkul
23:00They see their reliance on Allah
23:01They see their
23:02In the face of this
23:03Horrible calamity
23:04That could ever happen to you
23:05They say Alhamdulillah
23:06They say thank Allah
23:07Where do they find these people?
23:08This strength of heart
23:09This faith from?
23:10When you represent
23:11Your religion in the best way
23:12In your akhlaq
23:13In your
23:14The way you carry yourself
23:15The way you
23:16React to
23:17The things around you
23:18Even it's
23:19It's the most
23:20Terrible destruction
23:21This affects people
23:22This moves people's heart
23:23Their faith
23:24Alhamdulillah
23:25Inspired many many people
23:26As they died
23:27They became martyr
23:28They revived
23:29Many people's hearts
23:30So we are also trying to
23:31Be sensitive about this
23:32You know
23:33We never buy anything
23:34Of course
23:35Boycott products
23:36And you have the sensitivity
23:38Now I have a really
23:39Interesting question for you
23:40What advice would you give
23:41To your 18 year old self?
23:45Oh
23:4618 year old self
23:47It's like
23:48Really scary
23:49To realize that
23:50Over 20 years have passed
23:51It's
23:52Because when I was 18
23:53I would think that
23:54How can people be
23:55Like 50
23:56Like 60
23:57How can people
23:58Live this long?
23:59I lived this life
24:0018 years
24:01Full of things
24:02And full of events
24:03So how can people
24:04Live such a long life?
24:05I lived more than 18 years
24:06Until that day
24:07Like I'm 42 now
24:08So
24:09But you're still young
24:10Kind of
24:11Inside
24:12Yeah inside
24:13I know
24:14I remember
24:15Between the age of 15
24:16And 35
24:17Didn't really open
24:18Except Friday nights
24:19For Surat Yaseen
24:20Because after
24:21At the age of 15
24:22I lost this priority
24:23But I would say
24:24Get your priorities right
24:25This is not about this world
24:26I was planning to go
24:27To the US
24:28In those days
24:29And I was going to
24:30Live there
24:31As a doctor maybe
24:32All my plans
24:33Were about this world
24:34I don't think that
24:35I wasted those years
24:36Because when I see
24:37The young brothers
24:38And young sisters
24:39At Uhra
24:40At 16, 17, 18
24:41They're serving Islam
24:42At this age
24:43It just gives me
24:44A regret
24:45Saying that
24:46Why didn't I start this?
24:47But Alhamdulillah
24:48You're in
24:49Alhamdulillah
24:50Alhamdulillah
24:51But I have this
24:52Bad feeling that
24:53Why didn't I start earlier?
24:54So for the ones
24:55That are now 18
24:56You should make
24:57The best investment
24:58Which is the Akhira
24:59So you have a son
25:00And a daughter
25:01Actually you have
25:02Two sons and a daughter
25:03Which is better to raise
25:04And why?
25:07Of course I cannot
25:08Talk in really general terms
25:09I can only talk about
25:10My experience
25:11But especially when
25:12Kerem is now
25:13Growing up
25:14He's now 12
25:15He's a bit more
25:16Disobedient than you
25:17I would say
25:18Because
25:19When I tell him
25:20To come home at 5
25:21You will be at home at 5
25:22He calls me at 5.30
25:23Can I play
25:2415 minutes more?
25:25I say
25:26Oh my Allah
25:27It always happens
25:28He always wants
25:29To break the rules
25:30Rules are
25:31For breaking
25:32He apologizes
25:33And does it again
25:34Because there's a thing
25:35Inside him that
25:36Wants to play more
25:37Have fun more
25:38Has entertainment
25:39So there's like
25:40A game monster inside him
25:41He doesn't
25:42He doesn't really
25:43Can put it under control
25:44Even when he has injuries
25:45He continues to play
25:46I cannot believe really
25:47His school starts
25:48At 8.40 you know
25:49And we are next door
25:50Of the school
25:51And he wakes up at 7
25:52And goes to school
25:53And plays football
25:54So it doesn't
25:55Look like you at all
25:56You have your
25:57Sensitive
25:58Your planned
25:59Organized
26:00And you have
26:01Inner motivation
26:02To do this
26:03When you
26:04Prepared for the exam
26:05Last year
26:06We didn't have to
26:07Tell you to study
26:08Please you have to
26:09Study this
26:10No we didn't have to
26:11Tell anything to you
26:12You were just
26:13Really a zealous student
26:14Hardworking student
26:15And you knew
26:16Your responsibilities
26:17They never reminded you
26:18Of any of your homeworks
26:19But as for
26:20Kerem
26:21We always remind him
26:22We see the exam
26:23I don't know what
26:24We will do with him
26:25In two years
26:26Because he's going
26:27To take the exam
26:28Boys generally
26:29Are really energetic
26:30And they
26:31Don't want to
26:32Get hurt
26:33Or be really harsh
26:34With you
26:35Okay these are
26:36The last questions
26:37I didn't get sweaty
26:38So is there a problem?
26:39What was your
26:40Biggest dream
26:41When you were young?
26:42You mean
26:43I'm not young now?
26:44You're young
26:45But not
26:46Okay
26:47Joking
26:48Okay
26:49Do you dream
26:50Of the same things now
26:51Or do your goals
26:52And dreams
26:53Change over time?
26:54Definitely they change
26:55When I was young
26:56I was planning
26:57To go to the US
26:58As I told you
26:59I wanted to live
27:00With rich
27:01And with worldly things
27:02That I would
27:03Satisfy myself
27:04When I come to this day
27:05Alhamdulillah
27:06My priorities
27:07Changed like
27:08180 degrees
27:09Alhamdulillah
27:10As I told you
27:11When I joined
27:12Towards eternity
27:13You know
27:14I practiced medicine
27:15For 13 years
27:16And I quit my job
27:17And many people
27:18Wanted really
27:19Absurd and crazy
27:20And I quit my job
27:21They were like
27:22Why are you doing this?
27:23I wasn't feeling
27:24Fulfilled at all
27:25And I was praying
27:26To Allah
27:27A year after
27:28And the Kaaba was this size
27:29Yeah
27:30Definitely
27:31The first time I saw the Kaaba
27:32I said
27:33O Allah
27:34Allow me to serve your team
27:35And I did this dua
27:36And Alhamdulillah
27:37Allah changed many many things
27:38From that day
27:39My wife started wearing hijab
27:40And also all three of you
27:41Are now praying
27:42And you started to wear hijab
27:43The congregation we are doing
27:44And you are now serving Islam
27:45And the eternal passenger
27:46Alhamdulillah
27:47I am having the best
27:48Three years of my life
27:49Really
27:50Since I joined
27:51Towards eternity
27:52Alhamdulillah
27:53Everything
27:54Every detail
27:55Even the smallest detail
27:56Allah made it true
27:57Of course
27:58But when you
27:59Want something sincerely
28:00And Allah
28:01Not removed the sincerity
28:02Out of my heart
28:03Then Allah surely gives
28:04It was a really nice conversation
28:05My dear
28:06Really
28:07Really beautiful questions
28:08Inshallah
28:09You can come up with
28:10Different questions next time
28:11Inshallah
28:12So for eternal passenger
28:13We made this conversation
28:14With Sheva
28:15With my daughter
28:16And I really
28:17Had a great time
28:18Alhamdulillah
28:19Inshallah
28:20It becomes a means of benefit
28:21For many people
28:22If you want to see
28:23Another episode like this
28:24Don't forget to like
28:25And share your comments
28:27Alhamdulillah
28:28Alhamdulillah
28:29Alhamdulillah
28:30Alhamdulillah
28:31Alhamdulillah
28:32Alhamdulillah
28:33Alhamdulillah
28:34Alhamdulillah
28:35Alhamdulillah
28:36Alhamdulillah
28:37Alhamdulillah
28:38Alhamdulillah
28:39Alhamdulillah
28:40Alhamdulillah
28:41Alhamdulillah
28:42Alhamdulillah
28:43Alhamdulillah
28:44Alhamdulillah
28:45Alhamdulillah
28:46Alhamdulillah
28:47Alhamdulillah
28:48Alhamdulillah
28:49Alhamdulillah
28:50Alhamdulillah
28:51Alhamdulillah
28:52Alhamdulillah
28:53Alhamdulillah
28:54Alhamdulillah
28:55Alhamdulillah