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00:00♪
00:30♪
01:00What a day for a Neitherworld picnic! I can't wait to see what you brought for us to eat, Beetlejuice.
01:20Well, for starters, there's corn on the slob. The main course is macaroni salad. And for dessert, strawberry snort cakes.
01:36Mmm, all my favorites.
01:43Oh, Beetlejuice, you told me the Neitherworld weatherman said it was going to be sunny.
01:48He did, babes. He just didn't know the prince would be coming out of his castle today.
01:53Ah, the lush greenery and peaceful pastures, as Mother Nature blooms with life. So unlike the barren reaches of my empty heart.
02:07She a bummer or what?
02:10Gee, a prince who has lightning and thunder following him all the time must have dark and mysterious powers. What's his name? Something spooky, I'll bet.
02:19Hate to disappoint you, babes, but the name's Prince Vance. And there's no mystery about him. He just needs to lighten up.
02:29Oh, look, one of the prince's men is putting up an announcement.
02:37Help wanted. Court jester desperately needed to cheer up Prince Vance. Apply at castle immediately.
02:45Whoa, how? They need a jester, eh? Well, being a court jester is right up my alley.
02:57I'm a shoe-in.
03:00And then, as the prince's favorite prankster, I'll be able to get away with playing pranks on...
03:06On who, Beetlejuice?
03:08On everybody.
03:17Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary...
03:32Is he a bummer or what?
03:36Well, we've seen 12 applicants for court jester so far, and Prince Vance never even cracked a smile.
03:44If we don't find some solution to the prince's problem soon, we're all going to catch pneumonia.
03:56Another applicant for jester, sire. It's Beetlejuice.
04:03Hi, how you doing?
04:05Eww, gross.
04:08Yo, Rizzarino, it's showtime.
04:13Thrill as I breakdance.
04:18Juggle while spinning my head around.
04:24All right, all right. Did you hear the one about the man who was sawed in half?
04:33He crossed the road to get to his other side. Get it?
04:42Hey, how about I put Gila Monsters down everybody's pants?
04:49That always makes me laugh.
04:55Beetlejuice, you promised to watch The Bride of Frankenstein with me.
05:11Beetlejuice, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?
05:16Yeah, sure, your dreariness. Prince Lydia, Lydia, Prince Vance.
05:23Pleased to meet you, your highness.
05:27Highness? No, loneliness would be more fitting, Lydia.
05:32Then let's get back to making you cheery instead of dreary.
05:47It's eight o'clock, Beetlejuice. We've got to get going.
05:55Sweet Lydia, stay.
05:59Sorry, you're a loness.
06:04I'll take a rain check.
06:09Lydia, she is the earth, the sky, and I, the moon.
06:15And I, I am but a dark cloud on her horizon.
06:23Is he a bummer or what?
06:37I'm so tired I'm even going to skip thinking about brushing my teeth.
06:43Whoa, better turn on my fright light.
06:54Open up in the name of the prince.
07:02No, no, no, no, I must be dreaming.
07:07Hey, let go, put me down.
07:19Believe me, your blatantness.
07:21I didn't know that doorknob I sold the royal doorman was from the other side of the royal door.
07:28Huh?
07:34And hey, you got to believe me.
07:37I didn't mean to drop that elephant on the royal cook.
07:42It slipped.
07:44Beetlejuice, ever since I met your friend Lydia, I've been so unhappy.
07:49What were you before, the good humor man?
07:54Please, you must help me find a way to win Lydia's heart.
08:01You got to be the luckiest prince I know.
08:07Listen, make me your jester and I'll be your Lydia expert.
08:11Done.
08:18I'm here to serve.
08:24I've composed this sonnet.
08:26What do you think?
08:28You are a dark and distant star,
08:32forever out of my tortured soul's reach.
08:35Float down from the heavens and release me.
08:39I beseech.
08:47Forget it, Prince of Precipitation.
08:49Lydia doesn't go for that trippy stuff.
08:53If you want to win Lydia's heart, you got to be gross.
08:57Do something that'll raise a few eyebrows.
08:59You know, like, blow earthworms out of your nostrils.
09:02What?
09:03Besides that, you got to be a little on the strange side.
09:05You know what I mean?
09:06Well, I...
09:07Like, take her to a cave filled with bats at midnight.
09:11But just to Beetlejuice.
09:13I don't even have a date with her yet.
09:16Oh, yeah? Okay, come on.
09:18I'll show you exactly what to do.
09:22First thing you should do is buy Lydia a bizarre and unusual gift.
09:26Something she'll really love.
09:28Like that bat necklace in the window.
09:31Then, when she thanks you for the gift,
09:33invite her to see the latest Neitherworld monster movie.
09:36The Monster Tongue That Ate Chicago?
09:40I love that book.
09:42Now, when you're at the movie,
09:44tell her her hair is as black as a burned-out frying pan.
09:48Huh?
09:49And her eyes are like pools of mosquito-infested swamp water.
09:53Swamp water?
09:55That's right.
09:57I promise you, Lydia's heart will be like a glop of mush in your hands.
10:10I came as soon as I could, Beetlejuice.
10:12What was it you wanted to tell me?
10:15The prince heard you were coming,
10:17and he just thought he'd stop by and give you a little gift.
10:27Oh, I love it. It almost looks real.
10:32Lydia, would you like to go with me
10:35to see the, um, Monster Tongue That Ate Chicago?
10:39Why, sure, I'd love to.
10:41You would?
10:43Well, then, then I'll pick you up at six.
10:46You're doing great, kid.
10:48Here's that noseful of worms.
10:50Save those guys for later.
10:55Well?
10:56Well, what?
10:58What was it you wanted to tell me?
11:01Oh, that!
11:03I, uh, just wanted you to meet the new court jester
11:06for the court of Prince Vince.
11:08Really? Well, congratulations, Beetlejuice.
11:12I've always known you were funny.
11:14You said it!
11:16And soon, every stuck-up stuffed shirt in the Neitherworld
11:19is gonna find out just how funny I am!
11:25Then again, funny doesn't really say it all.
11:42Aw.
11:47Boy, do I have to liven up this party.
11:53Ha! Yes! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
11:56Wow, Prince Vince, I really like your dinner entertainment.
12:00Am I best of the jesters, or what?
12:03You are, indeed, my friend.
12:06What was the name of the new court jester?
12:10What was the name of that movie again?
12:12The Tongue That Ate Chicago.
12:14Hmm. I loved the book.
12:18I must say, it'll be a delightful change of pace
12:22to have the prince away for a while.
12:25Yes! Maybe our clothes will finally have a chance to dry out.
12:32Surely I jest!
12:36A little sub, and I'll be my handsome old self again.
12:44Hyah!
12:48Beetlejuice, you're responsible for this!
12:51Guard!
12:53Hey, I'm just practicing so I can entertain Prince Rain in your ear.
12:58I'll have you thrown in the deepest, darkest dungeon.
13:01Ha-ha-ha! Sounds like fun.
13:03Without bread, without water, without beetles!
13:06Oops! Can't make it. Have an appointment at the LP parlor.
13:10Anyway, it's obvious you've forgotten something, pal!
13:14I am the royal jester.
13:16Wouldn't want to upset my good friend Prince Vince, now, would we?
13:21Might cause a flood around here. Ha-ha-ha!
13:24Besides, that wig looks like it ought to get up and crawl away!
13:29He's a bigger pain than the prince.
13:32I know, but there's nothing we can do about it.
13:46Ooh! A wide-screen movie theater!
13:51And now, a freak preview of scumming attractions!
13:55Oh, I forgot to tell you. This is a double-depressing feature.
13:59First, we get to see the four-hour epic, The Crying Clown.
14:03I've been dying to see it. How about you?
14:07Uh, yeah. Sure.
14:09Ah-ha-ha-ha! Pepperoni!
14:17Would you like an onion chip, Lydia?
14:19Uh, no thanks.
14:22Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
14:26Mozzarella!
14:28Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
14:30Ay, anchovies!
14:34Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
14:39Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
14:46What's cooking?
14:47Nothing for you, Betelgeuse.
14:50Ow! Hey!
15:02You know me. I get my fingers into everything.
15:08Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:16Well, the first movie was pretty sad.
15:18But that monster movie was worth the wait.
15:27This is it, Prince Prince. The door to my world.
15:32Uh, Lydia?
15:34Yeah?
15:35I want to tell you that your hair is as black as a burnt-out frying pan.
15:40And your eyes are like deep pools of swamp water.
15:44Oh, that's very funny.
15:47You have a sense of humor just like Betelgeuse. I like that.
15:51Then you had a good time.
15:53Oh, yes. I had a wonderful time.
15:55You think you had a wonderful time?
15:57Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:00I had so much fun, I may have to be de-giggled.
16:04Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
16:13Hey, babes. Glad you're ready to go out.
16:15I've got a whole afternoon planned. First...
16:18Uh, gee, I'm real sorry, Betelgeuse.
16:20But I have a date with Prince Vince.
16:23Babes, since Prince Vince made me his jester,
16:26I can get away with any prank I want on anyone I want.
16:31It's a dream come true.
16:34Good for you, Betelgeuse. You've taught the prince how to be fun.
16:38He's not very fun-y yet, but he's getting better.
16:50Uh, ribbit.
16:54Thanks, Betelgeuse. Bye.
16:58Oh, no! How can I be so stupid?
17:02I taught that pathetic little potentate how to act like me,
17:06and now he wants to be Lydia's best friend.
17:09Thinks he can take her away from me, does he?
17:15Miniature ghoul golf. My favorite sport.
17:19Lydia, I've arranged a surprise for you.
17:22Lydia, I've arranged a surprise for you.
17:25Look, I had a royal balloon release,
17:28so release some very special balloons.
17:31What a sweet thing to do.
17:33Yuck! These mushier than moldy oatmeal.
17:44Oh, Prince Vince, I like the fireworks even better than the balloons.
17:49You're getting funnier every day.
17:52I know you're out there, Betelgeuse. Thanks for the help.
18:09I'm gonna scare the fun right out of this date.
18:14Rawr!
18:18Prince Vince, you sure know fun places to go.
18:22Why, thank you, Lydia.
18:28Uh, who am I kidding? He's a prince!
18:32I'm a punk. He's filthy rich.
18:35I'm just filthy.
18:37I think I'll go eat some worms.
18:43Here I am, the neither world's number one court jester,
18:46but I sure don't feel like jesting.
18:49I don't even feel like digesting.
18:53Sopolypopette. What a room.
18:59This room is so big, it could easily be a gymnasium.
19:04Wow, what a great floor for tap dancing.
19:09And it's so high, I don't even hit my head.
19:14You're welcome to come here and use my hall whenever you like.
19:18Really?
19:20All right!
19:32This is wonderful, Prince Vince.
19:34I want all my friends to be your friends, too.
19:37Lydia, you must know how I feel about you.
19:40Lydia, you must know how I feel about you.
19:43The time has come for me to ask, would you be my princess?
19:48What?
19:49We'll rule the neither world together.
19:52Dear Prince Vince, you're really a wonderful person,
19:56and I do like you very much,
19:59but I'm just not ready for princessdom.
20:04I just want to enjoy being myself and have fun with you
20:07and Beetlejuice and all my other friends.
20:10Friends? You just want to be friends?
20:15Love's labor lost!
20:23I am crushed! Utterly defeated!
20:27Oh, come on, Prince Vince. It's not that bad.
20:31Just think of all the fun we'll have.
20:33Think of all the new friends you've made.
20:36I guess you're right, Lydia.
20:38I have had fun, and there isn't any reason for it to end, is there?
20:42Of course not.
20:51Come on, I'm going to treat all my new friends
20:54to a soda at the Freaky Food Shop.
20:57Hey, wait for me, babes! I want to come too!
21:01After all, we're all palsy-walsy around here, aren't we?
21:05Oh, don't look so innocent, Beetlejuice.
21:08What?
21:10You didn't fool me for a minute, trying to mess up our date.
21:14Hey, what's a gigantic werewolf head between friends?
21:20Prince Vince, we've all signed a petition.
21:23We want that miserable excuse for a corn jester arrested
21:27and hung by his toes!
21:30Would it be all right if I just fired him instead?
21:33Not so fast, Prince Marino.
21:35That toes thing sounds like fun.
21:39Whoa!
21:52Prince Vince, you're laughing!
21:55Why, so I am! Funny, isn't it?
22:08♪
22:38♪