• 2 hours ago
The Three Badasses Who Want Me Short Drama
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Transcript
00:00:00Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:00:15Angela, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:18I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:00:23Now sign the divorce paper.
00:00:27Baby.
00:00:29I'll sign it.
00:00:31Here, don't look right at it.
00:00:36My lovely princess, I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from.
00:00:41I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:00:47You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:00:50I'm going. I need to pick up my bride.
00:00:53No!
00:00:55Prepare my warplane!
00:01:01What's the situation here?
00:01:03I want to marry you.
00:01:06Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:01:11What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:01:16Angela, my next-door neighbor.
00:01:19Still selling your hippie junk here?
00:01:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:01:24Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:26What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:01:31And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:01:35Alright, everybody get out!
00:01:38We got an important guest coming!
00:01:40Get out!
00:01:42Get out!
00:01:44Get out!
00:01:46Get out!
00:01:48Get out!
00:01:50Get out!
00:01:52We got an important guest coming!
00:01:56You!
00:02:01You deaf? I said pack up and scram!
00:02:03I paid the staff here already.
00:02:05And if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:02:07But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:02:11You want to say that again?
00:02:15You know who's visiting today?
00:02:17Ellen freaking Musk!
00:02:19One of the richest people in the world.
00:02:21Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:02:24Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:02:28Really?
00:02:29Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:02:34You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:02:40Coming to see you?
00:02:42Alright, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:02:45If she does this so much as give you a glance,
00:02:48I'll eat dirt.
00:02:51Deal.
00:03:00Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:03:04Or else, you're fired.
00:03:19Prepare the limo.
00:03:21Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:03:30Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:03:32Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:03:35Five.
00:03:36Four.
00:03:39Three.
00:03:42Two.
00:03:44One.
00:03:46Two.
00:03:48One.
00:03:52Ellen! I mean, Ms. Musk!
00:03:55Ellen! I mean, I'm sorry that I...
00:03:59Sorry to frighten you.
00:04:01How's my boss bitch?
00:04:03Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:04:05So how do you, like...
00:04:08She's my boss.
00:04:10I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:04:14No way.
00:04:18Well?
00:04:22No! No!
00:04:24No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss!
00:04:26No, I won't do it again!
00:04:30Alright, that's enough. We're not tyrants here.
00:04:39Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:04:45You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:04:48The Runaway Bride.
00:04:51You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:04:55Who are you?
00:04:59Where is she?
00:05:01Atlanta. And you were right.
00:05:03It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:05:05My clever bride.
00:05:07I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:05:15Max, prep the jet.
00:05:17I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:05:23Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move.
00:05:25He's headed to Atlanta.
00:05:27Atlanta? The game is afoot. I'm going.
00:05:30Wait, Dr. Wilson. The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:05:33He can wait. I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:39Dr. Wilson!
00:05:45Gino Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:05:48Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:05:51Atlanta!
00:05:53Where is that?
00:05:55Whatever! Prepare my warplane!
00:05:57Don't sue going after my fiancée.
00:05:59This is war.
00:06:15I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper,
00:06:18to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project, like you asked me to.
00:06:21Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:06:23This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:06:26That project is worth billions.
00:06:28He can finally take his company public.
00:06:30But Angela, my boss,
00:06:33I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:06:37without ever revealing your true identity.
00:06:40Without your backing?
00:06:42No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:06:45Well, three years ago...
00:06:48You saved me.
00:06:54He saved me, Ellen.
00:07:08You saved me.
00:07:16He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:07:20I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of
00:07:23being with a billionaire heiress.
00:07:26But now with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally
00:07:32come out to the public.
00:07:34So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:07:37I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:07:42But why work at the flea market?
00:07:44Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:07:48Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:07:54Plus I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:07:58You seem happy being a housewife.
00:08:00Where the hell are you?
00:08:05Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:08:08Get home, stat.
00:08:10It's a big day today.
00:08:13That was my mother-in-law, Carol.
00:08:17She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower class family.
00:08:20But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:08:26You know, she even remembered our third year anniversary.
00:08:34Please spend more time with my son.
00:08:38Hi, I'm home.
00:08:40I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:08:42Finally, you're back.
00:08:44Now sign the divorce papers.
00:08:48Divorce papers?
00:08:51Is this some sort of misunderstanding, mom?
00:08:54God, don't call me mom again.
00:08:58We're ending that relationship.
00:09:00Just look at you.
00:09:01Dirt all over.
00:09:03You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:09:05You don't deserve my son.
00:09:07You're way below his league.
00:09:10I'm below his league?
00:09:12That's right.
00:09:13You are.
00:09:15Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
00:09:21And then his company's going public.
00:09:24That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:09:26But you, you're still just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:09:32Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:09:34And you...
00:09:35You will always just be a pawn.
00:09:39Like dirt on our shoes.
00:09:44Dirt on your shoes?
00:09:46But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:09:50You're delusional.
00:09:51You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:09:54How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:10:00You're converting to lies.
00:10:01Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:10:03And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:10:11You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:10:16Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:10:19Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:10:21Enough!
00:10:23Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:10:27But I am.
00:10:29Don't fight it, Angela.
00:10:31Here's 500K.
00:10:33You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:10:37Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:10:40Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:10:44I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:10:48Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:52Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:10:54Fine.
00:10:56Here's another 200,000.
00:10:59500,000 is too much for her already.
00:11:01She's done nothing.
00:11:03Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:11:06She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:11:09Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:11:13I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:11:17You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:11:22And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:11:26A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:11:30What a joke.
00:11:31If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:11:37And leave!
00:11:40You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:11:45Let alone taking the company public?
00:11:47I did everything for you, Jared.
00:11:51Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:11:57It's all my work!
00:12:01Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:12:09You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:12:14So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:12:18She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:12:22Fine.
00:12:24I'll sign it.
00:12:27But don't regret it.
00:12:30Regret?
00:12:32Do I know who I am?
00:12:34Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:12:38I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:42Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:12:47Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:12:51That's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:12:55You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:12:59Social stratum matters.
00:13:01Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:13:05And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:13:08And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:13:13Ha! You're delusional!
00:13:16Now sign the papers and scram!
00:13:21You owe me.
00:13:23You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:13:32You hit me.
00:13:36Now sign the papers, take a track, and get the fuck out!
00:13:51I don't need your penny money.
00:13:55We're finished.
00:13:57You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:14:00Your check is just pennies to me.
00:14:03But I would like my ring back.
00:14:15Have fun.
00:14:19Have fun on your economy flight
00:14:22while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:14:30And I'm way out of your league.
00:14:37Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:14:41It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:14:45Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:14:48Something she found at the flea market.
00:14:50You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:14:56Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:15:01Oh! My dad says there's going to be a secret big-shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:15:08Bigger big-shot than Ellen Musk?
00:15:11Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:15:16Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:15:34Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:15:39Vanderbilt?
00:15:40Yeah. He's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically, our employee.
00:15:44Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:15:47You're still going to the summit tomorrow? You and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:15:51That's exactly why I'm going.
00:16:11Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:16:16Who is he?
00:16:18That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:16:21He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:16:27Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:16:30And he's your fiancé.
00:16:33What? What? My fiancé?
00:16:38The one and only.
00:16:40So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:16:45have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:16:58That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:17:02What is she doing here?
00:17:08You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:17:14Divorced?
00:17:16That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:17:22Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:17:26So she has to hide her marital status.
00:17:30So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:17:33Guess she's not just a forsaken woman. She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:17:41How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:17:44Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:17:47Do you know who I am?
00:17:50They don't know who you are.
00:17:53You hide it well.
00:17:56Next team. Teach these fools a lesson.
00:18:01Teach these fools a lesson.
00:18:07Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:18:11You forgot to bring the security team.
00:18:19Mind if I borrow your men?
00:18:22Go ahead.
00:18:25Toss these ill-mannered apes out.
00:18:28Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:18:38A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:18:42No.
00:18:45Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:18:49You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:18:54Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:18:57Pleased to meet you all. Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:19:01What an honor.
00:19:03I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:19:06It's worth billions of dollars.
00:19:08Congrats. You owe me next.
00:19:11Thank you, but we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:19:15That's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:19:18Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:19:21So I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:19:25Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:19:27Now we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:19:31Oh, yes. I heard they're a very important and powerful gang.
00:19:35Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:19:38Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:19:47I'll do my best.
00:19:53Excuse me.
00:19:54A second, gentlemen.
00:19:56What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:20:01How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:20:03Me? I'm a hobo.
00:20:07Me? A hobo.
00:20:09How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:20:12You sleep your way in.
00:20:13I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:20:16Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:20:19Don't flatter yourself.
00:20:24This is your ex-husband?
00:20:28What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:20:30Who the hell is this?
00:20:32You were cheating on me?
00:20:37Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:20:40That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:20:45They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:20:56I'm sorry.
00:20:57I'm sorry.
00:20:58I'm sorry.
00:20:59I'm sorry.
00:21:00I'm sorry.
00:21:01I'm sorry.
00:21:02I'm sorry.
00:21:03I'm sorry.
00:21:04I'm sorry.
00:21:06I'm sorry.
00:21:09You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:21:14Get your hands off of her.
00:21:20My lady.
00:21:35I agree.
00:21:46It's...
00:21:48It's him!
00:21:50He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:21:53Who are these peasants?
00:21:55These seats are reserved for THE Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:22:00Oh, shut up, old man.
00:22:03You're disturbing the peace.
00:22:06Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:22:08That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:22:10You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:22:13His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:22:17This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:22:21Vanderbilt.
00:22:23The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:22:27who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:22:32That lonely Vanderbilt family?
00:22:35Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:22:47Whatever.
00:22:49Angela can handle herself, she'll be fine.
00:22:51How dare you call one of us low?
00:23:06I'm Harley F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:23:12I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:23:16And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:23:20Not with me around.
00:23:21I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:23:27You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:23:32You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:23:34We've had enough of your games.
00:23:36Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:23:40Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:23:43But don't worry, you got new money here.
00:23:47I can handle myself, thank you.
00:23:50Yes, my queen.
00:23:52You're all despicable.
00:23:55An insult to your family names.
00:23:59Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:24:03Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:24:06Cut off all business ties.
00:24:09And if you don't,
00:24:10I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:24:15Ha! I knew it!
00:24:17You're here to fuck with me.
00:24:18You can't fool anyone here.
00:24:20How much money did you spend on that get-up and to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:24You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:24:28You have nothing and you will always be nothing.
00:24:33She's a gold digger.
00:24:35Gold digger?
00:24:37Gigolo.
00:24:38Wanna try me for a night?
00:24:41Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:24:43Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:24:46They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:24:49Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:24:51She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:24:54Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:24:56Security!
00:25:02Security!
00:25:04You all don't know who I am.
00:25:07You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:25:10And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:25:13You!
00:25:15Insolent fools.
00:25:17Let me guess, you're that special guest?
00:25:21I don't know.
00:25:23Throw them out!
00:25:24And not without some broken bones, too.
00:25:33Back to our mess.
00:25:37I got this.
00:25:39I got this.
00:26:06What the hell are you two doing here?
00:26:08I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:26:10No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:26:13Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:26:24Angela!
00:26:26Don't hurt her!
00:26:27You bitch.
00:26:28I've always been sick of you.
00:26:30You just threw yourself at me.
00:26:31How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:26:34Boss?
00:26:35Did she say her boss?
00:26:37Miss Musk?
00:26:38That's Ellen Musk?
00:26:40That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:26:42My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:26:46Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:26:49Past the American Revolution?
00:26:51Back to the Renaissance.
00:26:53If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:26:56That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:26:58She's royalty.
00:26:59And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:27:03What the hell did you do?
00:27:04Kneel before me!
00:27:06Oh, your majesty.
00:27:09Welcome to the United States.
00:27:12We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:27:15Yes, your highness.
00:27:17Is it a queen or princess?
00:27:19It doesn't matter.
00:27:21My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:27:24We didn't mean to offend.
00:27:27What are you doing, idiot?
00:27:29Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:27:37What rightfully belongs to you.
00:27:58She's a badass herself.
00:28:00He missed out on a good wife.
00:28:02You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:28:05Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:28:08No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:28:10I worked hard for everything.
00:28:12You worked for everything?
00:28:19Hi, Henry.
00:28:21So, our 30th anniversary is coming up,
00:28:23and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:28:26I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:28:28I have a lot of work to do.
00:28:30I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:28:32I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project,
00:28:35and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:28:45You were nothing before me.
00:28:48All your achievements, all your glory,
00:28:51that's all mine, including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:28:56I can take all of that away.
00:28:59Just like that.
00:29:01No, you can't take that away from me.
00:29:03That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:29:07Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:29:10Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:29:12It was Queen Victoria's,
00:29:14and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:29:23Oh, no. I gave you back the ring?
00:29:26I divorced a royal heiress?
00:29:29No! No, please!
00:29:31No! No, please take me back, baby!
00:29:34I still love you!
00:29:39Aw, man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:29:42No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:29:51God, these two again.
00:29:53Did he say... Is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:29:56President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:29:58After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:30:00each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:30:03the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:30:05Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:30:07Sorry I'm late, babe. I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:30:10Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:30:17And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:30:22He's Dr. House's protege.
00:30:24Dr. House? I thought that was just a TV show.
00:30:27Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:30:29Yep, that's me. Son of James House.
00:30:32Dr. House? He's practically my uncle.
00:30:35I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:30:38So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 months.
00:30:44And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:30:52Hey, Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:30:56Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:30:59What? Fiancés?
00:31:03Plural?
00:31:05Fiancés.
00:31:06Plural?
00:31:08Watch it, nerds. I'm her fiancé.
00:31:11No, I'm her fiancé.
00:31:12You can both shut up. I'm her fiancé.
00:31:15It's you.
00:31:16It's me.
00:31:17Who the hell is he?
00:31:18I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:21How are all three of these men my fiancés?
00:31:26Your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because he decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:31:33She has three badass fiancés and she marries his dumb ass.
00:31:40Whatever.
00:31:41Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:31:46Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:31:51At your service.
00:31:53Me too.
00:31:59One down, two more to go.
00:32:01She's become queen.
00:32:02Bishop to G4.
00:32:07Ow! Ow! Ow! What the hell is that?
00:32:11The most germ-infested water in the Nile River.
00:32:14Ah!
00:32:17Rook to A8.
00:32:23Hello?
00:32:27I thought I was king.
00:32:28No, you wish. The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
00:32:33Oh, fine.
00:32:38Big Rook to four. It's right this second.
00:32:45I... I've been bankrupt! No!
00:32:50Who is he?
00:32:57I've been bankrupt! No!
00:33:00I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:33:05Well, guess what? Game over.
00:33:07All right, boys. Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:33:11Oh, that's serious business.
00:33:13I'm right with you.
00:33:15Wait for me. Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:33:27Angela!
00:33:31You already have three fiancées?
00:33:34You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:33:36I want compensation.
00:33:40You greedy S.O.B.
00:33:43Who the fuck is that?
00:33:44My ex-husband.
00:33:45Wait, you were married?
00:33:47Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:33:52More for me.
00:33:53No, no, of course not. Just... do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:58Don't steal my joke. I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:34:02All the evidence of your past with him is gone.
00:34:05What? Is there something on my face?
00:34:07Uh, yeah. Murderous intent.
00:34:10Let's remarry.
00:34:12Let's remarry.
00:34:14You still don't realize.
00:34:17I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:34:37Hey.
00:34:48Sir, it's an emergency. We need to wreck right away.
00:34:51Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:34:55Okay, I'm on my way.
00:34:59She should be okay now.
00:35:04Hey, you!
00:35:06Watch over here. I'll be right back.
00:35:16You saved me.
00:35:20Fuck. I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:25Fuck. I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:28You've cheated on me, you've hit me, and you've insulted me.
00:35:33And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:35:37I fucking hate you.
00:35:40And the ladies are fired.
00:35:42What? What now?
00:35:44Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person,
00:35:49but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:35:53How about us three?
00:35:54Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:35:58Yeah, no. You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:36:01But this is your fault, you doofus.
00:36:04We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:36:06No, no.
00:36:09We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockhawks.
00:36:13Our family.
00:36:16I'll get you for this.
00:36:23I never should have listened to you.
00:36:25I'm ruined because of you.
00:36:31Here.
00:36:41So, what's the situation here?
00:36:44I don't want to marry you.
00:36:54I don't want to marry you.
00:36:57Listen.
00:36:59I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:37:01and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:37:04But what if I told you
00:37:07that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:37:10Much longer.
00:37:15Angela?
00:37:16Your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:37:21My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:24Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:37:26The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:37:29Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:31I heard you finally divorced
00:37:34that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking,
00:37:37three-letter husband of yours.
00:37:39Can't call his name, but anyway, congratulations.
00:37:43I've selected three prime young men
00:37:46for you to choose from to replace him.
00:37:49Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:37:52Otherwise...
00:37:53Let me do it.
00:37:55You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:37:58Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:38:01Mom?
00:38:03All right, honey, that's it.
00:38:05Bye. Bye.
00:38:11So, who are you going to choose?
00:38:13Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:18Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:23That seems greedy.
00:38:31But I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:36Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives, too.
00:38:40I may be a doctor, but I can take lives, too.
00:38:43I know and have access
00:38:45to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:38:47Well, okay, no murder, please.
00:38:50I was just kidding.
00:38:53You have seven days to win her over.
00:38:55Ooh, it's like The Bachelorette.
00:38:58I know.
00:39:00We'll start with challenge one.
00:39:03Welcome to the show,
00:39:05The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:39:07Today, we have our first challenge.
00:39:11What is all of this, Ellen?
00:39:15You'll see.
00:39:23Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
00:39:25Cockroaches!
00:39:27All women are afraid of cockroaches,
00:39:29and it is every man's job
00:39:31to save their beloved woman
00:39:33from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:39:35What will our three candidates do
00:39:37to prove their undying love
00:39:39for our single, but screaming her head off heiress?
00:39:50Looks like one of our contestants
00:39:52has already called it quits.
00:39:54It's up to the final two.
00:40:06Ooh!
00:40:16Crunchy.
00:40:18That is sick cold.
00:40:20Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:40:23you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:40:26There are two more left.
00:40:28Want to try one?
00:40:30God, no! No!
00:40:32Oh, my God!
00:40:34Oh, my God! Save me!
00:40:36Save you? You're going to save me!
00:40:38Aah!
00:40:40I'm a germaphobe doctor.
00:40:42These hands can't get germs on them.
00:40:44They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:41:01Thank God you're here.
00:41:05Are you all right, honey?
00:41:07Angela!
00:41:11All right, you won the first challenge,
00:41:13so your reward,
00:41:15you get to watch over her for the night.
00:41:17Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:41:20I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:41:22You have nothing to worry about.
00:41:28Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:41:30it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:41:32At least my girl can get some.
00:41:34I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:41:38The cockroaches!
00:41:39They're gone, they're gone.
00:41:41There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:44I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:41:51I need a drink.
00:41:54Whoa, easy, you're on an empty stomach.
00:41:57Oh, why do you care?
00:42:00I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:42:05You guys were right.
00:42:07I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:42:10You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:16He didn't like me.
00:42:18I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:23He never even loved me.
00:42:25And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:42:31Do you really think that you would still be number one
00:42:33on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:39You may not be number one on Forbes list,
00:42:41but you know what you're number one in?
00:42:44What?
00:42:48You're number one here.
00:42:55You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:42:59Lies.
00:43:02You all just want something from me.
00:43:09Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:43:14But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:43:20I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:43:22I don't need your power, your status, your wealth,
00:43:27your connections.
00:43:29I just need you.
00:43:33I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:43:45Screw the contest.
00:43:47I just want love.
00:43:50Angela, you're drunk.
00:43:53I'm an adult.
00:43:54Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:43:57Okay.
00:44:03But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:44:06Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:44:14This is what you want.
00:44:45Nine inch penis.
00:44:47Morning to you too.
00:44:50You sure you were drunk last night?
00:44:52A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her.
00:44:58Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:45:01But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:45:04Because then they would...
00:45:06Say that you were being unfair?
00:45:08Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:11Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:14I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen,
00:45:17my prize was to spend the night with you anyways.
00:45:21Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:45:27You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:31Stop.
00:45:34Fine, fine, fine.
00:45:38I won't tell.
00:45:41But only on one condition.
00:45:45I won't tell.
00:45:47But only on one condition.
00:45:50You have to go out on a date with me.
00:45:53Fine.
00:45:57I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:46:01You never noticed me.
00:46:05Um...
00:46:07You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:46:12It's only 7am. She's still sleeping.
00:46:15Am I sleeping alone?
00:46:16Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone with another man for another second.
00:46:22Morning, gentlemen.
00:46:24Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:46:26Oh, don't mind him.
00:46:29What's up, guys?
00:46:30We're ready for the second challenge.
00:46:32No cockroaches this time.
00:46:34Yes, no more terrifying things. That was my bad, Angela.
00:46:37This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:46:40I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:46:42The second challenge is...
00:46:44The second challenge is...
00:46:46A date.
00:46:47Lame. I should have asked for something else.
00:46:49A date?
00:46:51That's it.
00:46:52What's the catch?
00:46:53No catch.
00:46:54Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:46:57As simple as that.
00:46:58I know what I want to do. Let's start with me first.
00:47:00Okay, who's up first? Ben?
00:47:02Me.
00:47:03Saved the best for last.
00:47:05Ain't that right, Angela?
00:47:07Then it's decided.
00:47:11Please don't take my BMW away!
00:47:15Too bad. You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:47:18I have nothing left!
00:47:22It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:27It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:37Get out of my house!
00:47:38Sir!
00:47:39At ease, Lieutenant!
00:47:40This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:43Piss off!
00:47:44Get out of my house!
00:47:45Sir!
00:47:46At ease, Lieutenant!
00:47:47This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:50Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower!
00:47:52You're so serious. But hang on.
00:47:55Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:47:58Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:48:03Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:48:06Yes. Murder weapons.
00:48:20I like my guns, babe.
00:48:30Pretty Lockhart.
00:48:32Yeah.
00:48:33Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:48:35Lieutenant! Come close!
00:48:38Wait! You're just going to hit him like that? He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:42Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:48:44Treason? You guys are way too serious.
00:48:48Look, you Lockhart bitch! I caught you!
00:48:50If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:48:53Lieutenant, here's your attack!
00:49:08You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:49:12I will make you pay!
00:49:15If you don't need to keep beating him up, we could just take him to the cops.
00:49:19Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:49:27He's always a bit violent. Some might call it being protective.
00:49:31Poor anger issues. What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:49:37Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:49:40Hey, some girls are into that.
00:49:42I don't know if I am.
00:49:45Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:49:50Your date with Shane starts now.
00:49:55Hey.
00:49:57Hey.
00:49:58Cool ride.
00:50:00A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:50:03Impressive.
00:50:07Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:50:10Refreshing.
00:50:11I got cool mint, too.
00:50:13Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:50:16What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:50:19Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:50:22So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:50:24Let me show you.
00:50:32Dr. Wilson!
00:50:34Our VIP of VIPs!
00:50:36Right this way.
00:50:37VIP of VIPs.
00:50:39VIP of VIPs?
00:50:41Just some other guy I saved. I forget who.
00:50:44You saved a lot of people.
00:50:46I do what I can.
00:50:48Oh, my gosh.
00:50:50It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:50:55Sandra Miller, what are you doing here? I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:51:00Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:51:07Hello, of you.
00:51:09What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:51:11Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:51:13I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end, you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:51:20The auction begins.
00:51:22I'll deal with you later.
00:51:25Here, I'll just be one second.
00:51:31Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:51:37Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:51:40Cleopatra's armband, sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller, for five million dollars.
00:51:49Excuse me, I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:53It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:56I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:59It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:52:01What are you doing?
00:52:02Just watch.
00:52:04Come on.
00:52:09That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:52:11Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:52:14She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:52:17You work at a flea market?
00:52:19Not this again.
00:52:20Cut the bullshit, that wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:52:23Oh yeah? Here, you want it? For free.
00:52:26Ew, I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:52:31Well, that's too bad then, because you are the fraud.
00:52:37What are you talking about? Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:40Throw them out!
00:52:42Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine, but we're professionals.
00:52:47Oh yeah? And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:52:51Yeah, mine is the real thing.
00:52:54You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:52:59Oh, is that so?
00:53:00When a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:53:04Dear Lord, this is real. It's authentic. It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:53:16Karen, what have you found?
00:53:18Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me? It's a replica.
00:53:24They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:53:27So, you're the fraud. You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:53:35And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:38150.
00:53:40Wow, not even five dollars. Sandra.
00:53:44You've been duping us the whole time? Arrest her!
00:53:49No! Please! This is my time! Please!
00:53:53What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:53:56Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:54:00Black Callista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:54:12I had a really great time tonight.
00:54:14Me too. May I have a kiss?
00:54:25No.
00:54:34Something wrong?
00:54:35Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:43Yep. You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:54:55You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:55:00I don't have any money.
00:55:01How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:55:05I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:55:11Stop!
00:55:16Mr. Vandervilt.
00:55:19Mr. Buffett.
00:55:20Mr. Buffett.
00:55:25This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:27That's right. Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:55:31I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:55:34I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:55:36No, no. Sorry about those injuries from earlier. It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:55:42Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:55:45And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:55:50Angela still loves me. She's just throwing a fit. She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:55:55Yeah. Do you need any help winning her back? We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:56:01I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago, but now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:56:06It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:56:09Sure. I'll put in a good word for you.
00:56:13I just need...
00:56:14Anything you tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:56:17Once I take everything from these idiots, I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:56:29I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:56:33Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:37Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:39I don't get it, Miss Musk.
00:56:41That contract has a preliminary clause. It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:56:47And if he can't, then what?
00:56:49He'll be bankrupt.
00:56:50So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:56:54I'm avenging my best friend. I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:57:06I signed the Maple Plaza Project. We should celebrate.
00:57:10You did?
00:57:11You see, I know my son has it in him. That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:57:17And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:57:20Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:57:25What?
00:57:27You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:57:30Oh, no, no, no, no. He's not.
00:57:32Jared, what are you doing? You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:57:38It's my decision, Mom. I'm the head of the house here.
00:57:42I'm telling my dad.
00:57:44Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:57:47If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece. But if not, you can scram.
00:57:52Dad, Jared is being mean to me. Teach him a lesson.
00:57:57Kaylie, be a good girl, okay?
00:57:59Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:58:03Don't get on his bad side. We can't afford to piss him off. So do as he says.
00:58:09Dad!
00:58:16I'm sorry. I'll be your side piece.
00:58:20Very good. I'm happy you've come around. Now let's go celebrate.
00:58:28I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:58:32But that tongue action, though. Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:58:37Ellen, we aren't in public.
00:58:39It's true.
00:58:40Oh! Stomachache.
00:58:42Again?
00:58:43I have to run to the bathroom. Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:58:47Okay.
00:58:48Devin's late.
00:58:50Not a good sign for a date.
00:58:54This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:58:59It's her.
00:59:00And she's alone. With no one to save her.
00:59:05You whore. You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:59:13Let me tell you, I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:59:22Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:59:26Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:59:29Why do I have to leave? She's the one starting shit.
00:59:32Because I have money and you don't.
00:59:34You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:59:37And my son just signed a $100 billion contract.
00:59:41He still got the contract?
00:59:44Must be Ellen's doing.
00:59:46Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:59:50Oh, he's just gonna...
00:59:52Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:56Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
01:00:01You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
01:00:06My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
01:00:09$1,000 to take her away.
01:00:12$2,000 to drag her away.
01:00:15$5,000 to beat her away.
01:00:20Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey! Ow! Hey!
01:00:26You okay? Are you hurt?
01:00:32Weakling.
01:00:33You! You! Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
01:00:39And now you have two more? What a whore.
01:00:42What a whore.
01:00:44Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
01:00:47What if she has an STD?
01:00:49Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
01:00:53Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
01:00:56Hang on.
01:00:58What do you want?
01:01:00I'll scream!
01:01:01I don't hit women.
01:01:03But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:07But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:10Oh God. He is a murderer.
01:01:12What if he murders me?
01:01:14Not him. Definitely not him.
01:01:18We're not afraid of you.
01:01:20That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:01:23You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:01:27I was just messing with him.
01:01:29Was he though?
01:01:31We're not afraid of you.
01:01:33Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:01:36Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:01:39She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:01:41Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you. I apologize for this scene.
01:01:44I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:01:48Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:50Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:52The potty crashes.
01:01:56You have any idea who that is?
01:01:58That's my wife.
01:02:00We saved that title from the real skank over there.
01:02:03That's right. Know your place.
01:02:05Shut up.
01:02:06She's cheating on you.
01:02:09Know your place.
01:02:12Know your place. You're just a side piece.
01:02:15If I still want you, that is.
01:02:17Eric, have you gone mad?
01:02:19This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:02:21You slap her for this whore?
01:02:23Mom!
01:02:24They really think they're something, huh?
01:02:26Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:02:30She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:02:33I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
01:02:37What?
01:02:39You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:02:49I'm sorry.
01:02:51No.
01:02:53This can't be.
01:02:55I made you divorce...
01:02:59Go home.
01:03:01You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:03:09I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:03:12Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:03:16I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:03:19I didn't come here for you.
01:03:22I'm on a date.
01:03:24A date with two men at the same time?
01:03:27She really is a whore.
01:03:29Angela, please forgive me.
01:03:31I really do love you.
01:03:35Lady Lockhart is here!
01:03:39Lady Lockhart is here!
01:03:43Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's ass.
01:03:46We're too old for that.
01:03:48They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:03:50Please, you gave me the contract, so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:03:56Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:03:59We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:04:02What the hell are you all doing here?
01:04:05Where were you?
01:04:06Still making shoes.
01:04:08Again?
01:04:09Would you like my diagnosis?
01:04:11No.
01:04:14Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:04:17I would rather die than be with you again.
01:04:21Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:04:25I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:04:27Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:04:29Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:04:31I'll prove it to you.
01:04:33You want a chance?
01:04:35Angela, no.
01:04:36You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:04:39Don't take him back.
01:04:41I'll give you two choices.
01:04:45I'll give you two choices.
01:04:49Me or the contract.
01:04:52You're kidding me.
01:04:53No, I'm not kidding you.
01:04:56If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:05:00But you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:05:04The choice is all yours.
01:05:06That's a tough choice.
01:05:08You think so?
01:05:09He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:05:13Either way, he benefits.
01:05:15Why can't I have both?
01:05:17You really are a greedy bastard.
01:05:20Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:05:22I deserve the contract.
01:05:24Did you really?
01:05:30Look who's fashionably late now.
01:05:33He didn't save her at the pool.
01:05:35Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:37I choose the contract.
01:05:40I knew it.
01:05:41You'll get what's coming to you.
01:05:44With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:05:48Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:05:52I will get you one day.
01:05:54Let me show you something.
01:06:04You saved me.
01:06:10You saved me.
01:06:12I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:06:18But I promise you, I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:06:24No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:06:26I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:30I mean, I can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:40Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:44What? Me?
01:06:46Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:06:49No way.
01:06:50You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:06:54You're crazy.
01:06:56And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:07:01What?
01:07:03Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:07:06Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:07:10Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:07:14I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:07:16Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:07:18I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:07:21No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:07:25You can't expect me to punish them for you.
01:07:27Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:07:30Max, you know what to do.
01:07:46The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:07:48All business ties have been severed.
01:07:50We're bankrupt!
01:07:56How did you do that?
01:07:58Who are you?
01:07:59Don't say Spider-Man!
01:08:03I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:06I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:10I am...
01:08:12Crypto Punk Number Two!
01:08:14What did he say he was?
01:08:16That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:08:18You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:08:21Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:08:24See, you are number one at something.
01:08:26The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:08:29Forget Forbes' list.
01:08:31It's all about young money now.
01:08:33So, how about our date?
01:08:41I'm not letting anyone up me on this one.
01:08:43I'll spy too.
01:08:55They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:08:57I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:09:01Yes! I'm rich!
01:09:04I think I'll make them all pay soon!
01:09:12What?
01:09:13Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:09:14The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:09:18Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and will be revoked.
01:09:22Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and will have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:09:26No!
01:09:28I'm bankrupt!
01:09:31I need a little off-card.
01:09:32You tricked me!
01:09:39Oh, allow me.
01:09:43I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:09:45I had to get some very important materials.
01:09:49For our special date.
01:09:51Well, cheers.
01:09:53Cheers.
01:10:03This looks good.
01:10:09Did you use my spices?
01:10:11I know your ex-in-laws never appreciated you.
01:10:15You can have all the money and power in the world,
01:10:18and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:10:22I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:10:28Angela.
01:10:30Your future with me...
01:10:34is going to be different.
01:10:37Come on.
01:10:39Upstairs.
01:10:45Come on.
01:10:58Wow.
01:11:00Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years.
01:11:05Just because of some silly mistake.
01:11:08Angela.
01:11:10I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:11:13Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:11:17That's right. I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:11:21How is all of this possible?
01:11:24I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:11:27Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:11:32I've had a crush on you since college.
01:11:35You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:11:38Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:11:45Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:11:52All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:12:00Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:12:04I'll teach you a lesson.
01:12:08Hey! Get away from him!
01:12:10Angela!
01:12:12Fancy girl. I like her.
01:12:25How is he?
01:12:27It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:12:31Astragal, saltiphone.
01:12:33Can it be cured?
01:12:34I actually think I know that poison.
01:12:36Sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:12:40Household salt.
01:12:48I like her.
01:12:51There you go.
01:12:53What time is it?
01:12:56Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:12:59I like her.
01:13:05I like her.
01:13:07We have been rivals ever since.
01:13:10So, that's how I, well, we all met.
01:13:15I barely remember.
01:13:17I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:13:20Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:13:24You wouldn't have known.
01:13:26I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark though.
01:13:28That makes you feel better.
01:13:30Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:13:32Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:13:35Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years,
01:13:39who will you pick?
01:13:45How can that be?
01:13:47Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:13:52Kaley, we've gone bankrupt.
01:13:56Bankrupt?
01:13:58The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:14:01Well then, get out of here.
01:14:04You can't do this to me.
01:14:08Jared.
01:14:09Mom, it's me.
01:14:10What happened?
01:14:12Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:14:15Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:14:17You should get back with your wife.
01:14:19We're bankrupt.
01:14:20What?
01:14:25Jared Cooper.
01:14:28We are here to propose to your belongings.
01:14:32No one is going to save you now.
01:14:34What?
01:14:40What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:14:46Who will you pick?
01:14:49I...
01:14:55I brought you fried chicken.
01:14:56Fried chicken?
01:14:57Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:15:00Yeah, he's right.
01:15:01I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:15:03Sucking up last minute.
01:15:05At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:15:07Hey, stop. Stop.
01:15:11Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:15:13I mean, the three bad asses here.
01:15:16I mean, the three bad asses who want me.
01:15:19I mean, Angela Lockhart.
01:15:22You know what I mean.
01:15:24Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:15:27which one of our three bad asses will she marry.
01:15:31Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:15:35Cole, the general?
01:15:39Or Devin, the CEO?
01:15:43Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:15:48Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:15:51But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:15:55made from glass imported from Venice
01:15:57and give it to our woman.
01:16:00Angela.
01:16:02Angela.
01:16:04Oh, I...
01:16:07I need more time to think.
01:16:13Uh, while our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:16:17why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:16:20Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:16:23Let's start with Cole.
01:16:25Cole.
01:16:30There's not much to say.
01:16:32Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:16:34who has huge biceps,
01:16:36a massive chest,
01:16:38who would protect their wife?
01:16:43Okay, thank you.
01:16:45Uh, Shane?
01:16:48Muscles, money,
01:16:51they won't get you so far.
01:16:53But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:16:55that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:16:57if you know what I mean.
01:17:02Okay, I think we do.
01:17:04And Devin?
01:17:07That was quite disgusting.
01:17:11I just hope Angela's okay.
01:17:13I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:17:16a lot of choices to make.
01:17:18And she's my queen.
01:17:20I just really hope she's okay.
01:17:22Now, one more thing.
01:17:24What kind of a doctor
01:17:26brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:17:29That's a good point.
01:17:30It's bad for her heart.
01:17:33And then you!
01:17:34What?
01:17:35You know what they say about military men?
01:17:38They beat their wives.
01:17:44Enough!
01:17:46Stand up!
01:17:49Hey, you guys.
01:17:51Whoa, break it up!
01:17:53Hey!
01:17:54Break it up!
01:17:59Cut to commercial!
01:18:01Cut to commercial!
01:18:06Cut to commercial!
01:18:20This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make
01:18:22in my entire life.
01:18:25Who do I choose?
01:18:28Angela's marrying me!
01:18:30You're not stealing her from me.
01:18:31Oh, yeah?
01:18:33I may be a doctor, but like I said,
01:18:36I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:18:42What don't you have in that cup?
01:18:44Fruit flavored gum.
01:18:45I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:18:47I'll fight you to the death.
01:18:49Don't forget about me.
01:18:51It's time I made my decision.
01:18:54Don't forget about me.
01:18:56It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:01These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:19:04They do not help.
01:19:06Who made these?
01:19:25It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:30I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:19:33And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:19:39No!
01:19:52We may have to work together to take him down.
01:19:55No!
01:20:06This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:20:10I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:20:13Hmm.
01:20:14Winter Mint or Cool Mint?
01:20:20You know,
01:20:22I've always really liked your hair.
01:20:24Really?
01:20:26I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:20:29So I appreciate that.
01:20:32Hey, hey, hey.
01:20:33And you know,
01:20:34Cool,
01:20:35I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:20:38Really?
01:20:39Yeah.
01:20:42What do you got for me?
01:20:44I always
01:20:46really like the way you chew gum.
01:20:48Yeah?
01:20:49It's fresh, right?
01:20:52You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:20:56You need me to look at you?
01:20:58I'll take care of you.
01:21:00Angela's been kidnapped!
01:21:02Angela's been kidnapped!
01:21:04It was Jared Cooper!
01:21:06That fucker!
01:21:08We have to find her.
01:21:09What, how?
01:21:10Her ring.
01:21:11Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:21:14Well, let's go then!
01:21:16My fiancée!
01:21:17My fiancée!
01:21:22Jared.
01:21:27What am I doing here?
01:21:29You destroyed me.
01:21:32I took everything.
01:21:35What?
01:21:36I have nothing left.
01:21:38It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:21:41Was it greedy to have sex with my wife?
01:21:45What?
01:21:46I'm not your wife anymore!
01:21:48Oh yeah, I know.
01:21:49You wouldn't take me back now.
01:21:50Not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:21:52This is illegal.
01:21:53You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:21:56You won't have me arrested.
01:21:58You will take me back.
01:22:00Ow!
01:22:01Come on, bitch.
01:22:05I'll settle you down a little.
01:22:15You will be begging me to take you back.
01:22:18You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:22:22Hey!
01:22:24Angela!
01:22:25Come here!
01:22:29You're too late!
01:22:30I drugged her.
01:22:31She'll be dead soon unless...
01:22:32Not yet.
01:22:33Have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:36He really does have everything in his coat.
01:22:38Everything except for fruit.
01:22:39Yeah, except for fruit flavored gum.
01:22:40We get it already.
01:22:41Just save my paws!
01:22:44Here you go.
01:22:49You're all good now.
01:22:51Oh, thank God.
01:22:53But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:56What?
01:22:57What are you going to do to me?
01:22:58Hey, stop!
01:22:59No!
01:23:00Don't!
01:23:01Ow!
01:23:02Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:23:09Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:23:11Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:23:19So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:23:21We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:23:24The Prince of Bhutan.
01:23:27And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:23:35Welcome back to the finale of
01:23:37The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:39We're down to the wire.
01:23:41Literally.
01:23:42The wedding day.
01:23:43But who's the groom?
01:23:48Yeah!
01:23:58Welcome back to the finale of
01:24:00The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:24:02But who's the groom?
01:24:06Uh, seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:24:11Any input from the parents?
01:24:13Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:24:16Oh, this is exciting.
01:24:18Who should my daughter pick?
01:24:20Let me think.
01:24:25I like the doctor.
01:24:27He's cute.
01:24:30But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:24:34And we can't forget about Devon Sterling,
01:24:36the one who's loved her the longest.
01:24:38Isn't that right, Devon?
01:24:40Angela.
01:24:46You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:24:51And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:24:56But this was a really hard decision.
01:24:59And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:25:05And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:25:13I'm just kidding.
01:25:14I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:25:20Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:25:24I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:25:26They've all proven their undying love.
01:25:29So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:25:32Literally.
01:25:35Could it be the sexy and protective,
01:25:39general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:25:45Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird,
01:25:51Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:25:55And last but not least,
01:25:57could it be the richest man of them all,
01:26:00the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:26:03Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:26:07Gentlemen.
01:26:09It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:26:13May the best man win.
01:26:15May the best man win.
01:26:18Drum roll, please.
01:26:33Seriously, Ricky?
01:26:36I choose...
01:26:49I need a powerful, strong man
01:26:51who I really feel like he can protect me.
01:26:55Who could resist those guns?
01:26:59Could I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:27:03Could I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:27:05Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:27:20Shane, it's you.
01:27:22I'm lovesick for you.
01:27:24You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:29It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:27:32Ellen, be my new queen.
01:27:34Think of what we could build together.
01:27:36Guns, babe.
01:27:48It's always been you.
01:27:58I'll always love you.
01:28:02Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:28:06Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:28:07Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:28:09I need fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:28:33I, Selene Lovett,
01:28:35accept my role as Nightwind's pack Luna
01:28:38and your wife.
01:28:41I, Alexander Kane,
01:28:44fucking love you.
01:29:02Whoo-hoo!
01:29:03Yes!
01:29:12Wow.
01:29:13Two alphas together.

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