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Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00Let's have some fun.
00:11Yes, let's you and me have fun.
00:13Okay.
00:14Oh.
00:15Marco.
00:16Polo.
00:17Oh, you're going to have to catch me first.
00:24Oh, I'll get you.
00:28You jerk.
00:32How dare you cheat on me.
00:35I'm going to kill you.
00:37Oh, stop.
00:39That's it.
00:40That's it.
00:41I want a divorce.
00:43Fun.
00:44You get all that?
00:46Every second.
00:48Remember to pay me and leave a glowing review on my Craigslist.
00:53You.
00:54Get back here.
00:55You can run, but you can't hide.
00:56I came prepared.
00:58Hey!
00:59Hey!
01:00Polo.
01:01Oh, was I nervous?
01:02Yeah.
01:03What the fuck?
01:09It's a good thing I came prepared.
01:26Hey. Hey, have you seen the girl in the green dress?
01:29Aww.
01:31Auburn hair. Nice figure. About this tall?
01:35Yeah.
01:36Oh, nope. Sorry, man. I haven't seen anyone like that.
01:38Alright, thanks.
01:39You too.
01:47I'll be back.
01:55My apologies.
02:00I said I was sorry.
02:05I need a lover.
02:14You want me to be your lover?
02:20I'll pay you $10,000 every single time we go out.
02:24Don't try and scam me, dude. Just because I'm broke doesn't mean I'm stupid too.
02:36The name's Shannon. Nathan Shannon.
02:40From the Shannon Corporation.
02:43I can assure you, this offer is legitimate.
02:48The multi-billion dollar fortune 500 Shannon Corporation?
02:57Yes.
02:58What exactly does the esteemed Mr. Shannon need in a lover?
03:24I need a man to act like one and to sometimes trick certain people into thinking that I am indeed not available.
03:37You had me at trick people.
03:41Mr. Shannon, Caroline, daughter of William Vanderbilt. She's gonna arrive any minute.
03:46What did I say about keeping my grandmother's speed dating on my calendar?
03:51Would you like to find another executive to assist?
03:54No, I do not, Mr. Shannon.
03:56Nathan!
03:57Caroline!
04:00Who might this be?
04:01Oh, this, um...
04:04My business partner.
04:10You know, Nathan, there are rumors about you.
04:22It's true, he is gay.
04:46Oh, you got to be kidding me.
04:49Oh, you got something right here. Do you mind if I, um...
04:53Right there, on top, right?
04:59There we go.
05:01Great, much better.
05:04Maybe I'll make a mess of my pay tomorrow.
05:07This is insane. You are gay and you're still trying to marry girls.
05:13I'm gonna tell the whole world who you really are.
05:17Sorry.
05:20How's my acting, boss?
05:24Decent.
05:26Well, if you have any tips, I'm all ears.
05:40Doctor, I have enough for my grandpa's surgery this month.
05:42James, as I've told you before, the cost of continued care is substantial. I would suggest...
05:47Please!
05:49I won't give up on him. I'll figure it out.
06:19Nathan Shannon.
06:40Nathan Shannon.
06:46Counting on you.
06:49Thanks.
07:05Do you have any more gigs like yesterday? I've been working on my acting chops.
07:10Not at the moment.
07:12We shared a moment of affection, didn't we?
07:16That was business. Nothing else.
07:21Well, you know...
07:23When we kiss.
07:31Wow.
07:32Mr. Shannon is, maybe does, something that way.
07:36Because I'm not his type.
07:41Please.
07:43Keep your distance from me. You will never be fit to be my employee, and that's final.
07:47Nathan!
07:52Did you miss me?
07:54Are you still looking for a personal assistant?
07:56Well, good news. I have graciously decided to take on the position.
08:01Vivian, no. Actually, I have one.
08:03Harold is your executive assistant, silly.
08:06Someone as successful as yourself should have a personal assistant as well.
08:13Oh.
08:19Actually, I have one.
08:22It's him.
08:33Mr. Shannon. I thought I wasn't good enough to be your employee.
08:38Well, you're not.
08:40But you do possess one unique advantage.
08:44What might that be?
08:49You're a man.
09:01Jesse?
09:03That is you!
09:05What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like that? I mean, this is so...
09:09I'll explain later.
09:10You're not...
09:16I can't believe you are my boss's new personal assistant. And as a dude.
09:23It's all from my grandpa's medical bills.
09:26Hey, at work, can you act like you don't know me? Just in case.
09:31Sure.
09:35Ouch.
09:37Tighter.
09:38Okay.
09:43Help your hair.
10:05Jesse!
10:08My sincerest apologies, Mr. Shannon. Let me... Let me wipe that off.
10:22No, no, no. Don't touch that.
10:25Hey!
10:26No, no, seriously. I can handle it. And you can leave.
10:29I can handle it. And you can leave.
10:35I can handle it. And you can leave.
10:38It's just a job, Peyton.
10:42Of course, boss.
10:55Rocket!
10:59Take this.
11:04Don't forget about me.
11:07I'll come back for you once I'm home.
11:11I'll find you, Starlight.
11:24I'll find you, Starlight.
11:30I'll find you, Starlight.
11:33Jesse!
11:37What are you doing, creep? This is a woman's bathroom.
11:40Oh, come on. Let's go.
11:42Shh.
11:43Come on.
11:44Okay.
11:46This is next.
11:59What's up?
12:05What was that?
12:07You gonna pee?
12:11Shy turtle.
12:13Excuse me?
12:15Insecure about your size.
12:22It's all good.
12:26It's not about the size of the shit.
12:30It's about the motion of the ocean.
12:32That's what the ladies care about.
12:38Sorry.
12:41I just...
12:42I just get insecure around other men.
12:44Especially men who work so well.
12:49Could we perhaps avoid sharing restroom visits in the future?
12:54Yeah, no problem.
12:57Thank you so much.
12:59You're welcome.
13:16Nathan!
13:18Okay, what are you doing here?
13:20Well, Grandma asked me to step in as manager.
13:22She wants me to help assist in the day-to-day operations.
13:25Okay, we don't need a new manager.
13:27Well, I'm hosting a party tonight to get to know everyone from the office.
13:30And you must come.
13:32Vivian, it's Mr. Shannon at work.
13:36Okay, great.
13:38Fine.
13:39But if you don't show up, I'm telling Grandma.
13:42I'll go.
13:43I'll go. Just leave, please.
13:45Good.
13:47Make sure Mr. Shannon does not come tonight.
13:52Why's that?
13:53It's better that you don't know.
13:54But just keep him sober.
13:56No matter what.
13:58Write it down.
13:59Okay.
14:00Harold.
14:04This paragraph needs to be removed.
14:06Okay, I'll write that down, sir.
14:07Okay.
14:26Jessie, stay in your lane.
14:28Okay, Nathan and I are practically engaged and you're just...
14:32a lowly employee.
14:33But I thought Mr. Shannon shouldn't drink.
14:35He's a grown man. He'll be fine.
14:37Well, he should at least know if he's drinking.
14:42You are just an expendable employee.
14:46Money is your real boss.
14:51After he drinks that...
14:54Take him to this room.
14:56Do it, and there's plenty more where that came from.
15:06Fuck.
15:22Hey!
15:23Hey.
15:24Where are you?
15:31Boss.
15:32For what?
15:34Drunk men can't get enough anyway, you know?
15:38You can use the spray.
16:00When is Vivian showing up?
16:03I don't want to babysit you all night.
16:06Yeah, you can do it.
16:07As a boy.
16:11Yeah.
16:16Harold was right.
16:17When I'm drunk, can you turn into a child?
16:21Cut it out.
16:24Hey.
16:26Pick up your shoes and get ready for her.
16:29Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
16:33Fuck.
16:38Good little soldier.
17:00How about a little dance?
17:03A what?
17:04A fucking bit on the wall.
17:07A bit on the wall.
17:17How about...
17:19writing me a check for a hundred thousand, boss?
17:25Whatever you want, I guess.
17:32Okay.
17:48Woo!
17:49Woo!
18:00I'm...
18:01I'm not...
18:02I'm...
18:03I'm sorry.
18:04That wasn't...