Armed with a DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Supreme and dressed in our finest goth attire, "No Views" is back for Halloween! This year, we’re digging through Vimeo’s graveyard for 10 short horror films, all under 4 minutes and barely watched. Most are surprisingly well-shot, but there's no shortage of moments that make you question the filmmakers' life choices.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/redcowentertainment
Merch: https://redcowentertainment.com/store/
✅ Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYvgalxiHFL3uHANR0BC4Xg?sub_confirmation=1
Website: https://www.redcowentertainment.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@redcowentertainment
Twitter: https://twitter.com/redcowent
Instagram: https://instagram.com/redcowentertainment
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RedCowEntertainment
️ Red Cow Arcade: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJWaXzdM3BHjg3UYi-hyOPg
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/redcowentertainment
Merch: https://redcowentertainment.com/store/
✅ Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYvgalxiHFL3uHANR0BC4Xg?sub_confirmation=1
Website: https://www.redcowentertainment.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@redcowentertainment
Twitter: https://twitter.com/redcowent
Instagram: https://instagram.com/redcowentertainment
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RedCowEntertainment
️ Red Cow Arcade: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJWaXzdM3BHjg3UYi-hyOPg
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Viewer discretion is advised.
00:04It's Halloween.
00:05It is Halloween.
00:06Have you noticed?
00:07I did want to say, your look reminds me a little bit of Ethan Suplee.
00:11He played Frankie the Enforcer in Boy Meets World.
00:13Like in The Butterfly Effect, he played like a goth.
00:17You remind me a bit of him.
00:18I'm modeled after Johnny Gilbert.
00:19That's my go-to.
00:21And I'll say this.
00:22While we haven't done Pirate Pizza Review in a while,
00:24there is a pirate and there is a pizza.
00:26It's not just delivery, it's DiGiorno?
00:28DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Supreme.
00:30Have we really never had that on the show?
00:32I don't think you have.
00:33You didn't check?
00:34I didn't check.
00:35I'm pretty sure we haven't had any stuffed crust.
00:37So we've got a pair of scissors on the table.
00:39That is my traditional way for consuming pizza.
00:41I've had enough.
00:42I've noticed.
00:43And I'm using my large, my gigantic, rare, false-craft plate to store that pizza.
00:46Yeah, growing up, DiGiorno was my pizza of choice.
00:50In fact, me and my friend, we would rent awful DVDs and cook up a DiGiorno pizza.
00:56We've tried all kinds in the long history of our show.
00:59Yeah, in the hundreds of episodes of that show.
01:01It's that time of year again to watch some horror movies.
01:03I'm pretty excited for it.
01:04This is one of my favorite things we do every year.
01:05Really?
01:06I enjoy it as well.
01:07And I love going back to old ones because I forget about the short films.
01:10Because you watch them the one time.
01:11And because they are incredibly forgettable.
01:13I remember, like, the table one.
01:14Do you remember that table one?
01:15Yeah.
01:16I remember grilling up the penis.
01:17Yep.
01:18I remember the pumpkin heads, right?
01:19That was really cool.
01:20Yeah.
01:21Your typical selection process for those who are new to No Views.
01:23Yes.
01:25At this point, we're exclusive to Vimeo.
01:26Vimeo, where videos go to die.
01:28You search for anything that's what?
01:30Under four minutes.
01:31Less than a hundred, but preferably single-digit views.
01:34A couple are in the 30s.
01:35I think the max today is 31.
01:36I scan through them very quickly just to make sure they're not grossly incompetent.
01:40Like, they're not going to be a complete waste of our time.
01:42They'll still be a waste of our time, but not a complete waste of our time.
01:45It's just not grossly.
01:46So it's not like seven minutes of a shot of a pumpkin.
01:48You know, that kind of thing.
01:49And there was one fan who was like, hey, will you do my thing?
01:51Yeah.
01:52And he's mixed in here.
01:53Does it make it harder for you to be brutal when you're personable directly with the person?
01:57Well, I don't know him personally.
01:59He just emailed me.
02:00Until we get to know each other better, this should be pretty savage.
02:05This first one is called Polaroid Horror Short Film.
02:08And that's part of it, too, right?
02:10Your search criteria is horror short film?
02:11Yes, horror short film.
02:12So you end up with movies where the title often is horror short film.
02:15Yes.
02:16If they didn't do any tag metrics at all, it's going to have to be in the title.
02:19It's got 10 views in the past 10 months.
02:22There's no description as far as I can tell.
02:24This is by Oliver Heaton Meadows.
02:26And it was uploaded earlier this year.
02:28Polaroid.
02:31Oh, so he's going through some vinyls?
02:33Yeah, he's got a slider.
02:35He's got a very basic apartment.
02:36I tell you, sliders were all the rage in 2011.
02:39And they've kind of fallen out of fashion a little.
02:41Gimmicky though they may be, I've always thought they had a nice effect.
02:45Yeah, yeah.
02:46We use the slider in some of our board box max.
02:50Holy **** Polaroid.
02:53Still got a battery.
03:02All right.
03:03You know, there's something.
03:04Yeah, a little POV.
03:05I like that.
03:06POV, it's nice.
03:08Granted, the Polaroid camera would not have had that level of resolution actually.
03:12Actually.
03:13Oh, God.
03:15Oh, Jesus, man.
03:17It's Mr. Burns.
03:19It does look like Sir Gollum, maybe one of the two.
03:22I bring love.
03:24It looks like he was a little into it.
03:26Yeah, it is slow-mo.
03:27Proper slow-mo.
03:30I feel like he didn't need that strong of a music stain.
03:33No, I think it would have been better, like more subtle.
03:36It's overstating itself.
03:37He kind of looks like Annatar.
03:41He totally does.
03:43Celebrimbor, you must, you must make those rings.
03:46The nine.
03:47Holy.
03:48Oh, that was kind of cool.
03:49I like that.
03:50That was cool.
03:51Yeah, that was nice.
03:52You can only see it during the flash.
03:53At first, I thought it was like the horror of having a window unit.
03:59Didn't change the filter.
04:00It's got a moldy smell.
04:04If you're John, I'm going to pay that man his money.
04:07Pay that man his money.
04:11I'm going to go fuck that thing.
04:13It's the kind of look.
04:16He goes, do you want to go to the band room?
04:28Celebrimbor.
04:30Celebrimbor.
04:34One step closer, was that part of the effect?
04:36I don't know.
04:37Like putting that on the...
04:39No, probably not.
04:40It's probably part of the branding.
04:42Let's go.
04:46You don't have to shake it, sir.
04:49Right.
04:50You don't shake Polaroids, you don't blow into NES cartridges.
04:59All right.
05:00All right.
05:01It's like how that is usually.
05:02I saw that coming.
05:03Yeah.
05:04Rawr.
05:05Rawr, yeah.
05:06All right.
05:07For a couple minutes, you know, I was somewhat entertained.
05:10If you had to hand that in to your professor,
05:12I think that professor ought to give you something nice.
05:14Yeah, I think so.
05:15I think I had a couple nice little ideas in it.
05:17I like the POV through the camera.
05:19I really like the flash to show the creature.
05:21That final scare is where the whole thing goes up to.
05:24And that's the only time that the golem-looking creature looks stupid.
05:27Yes.
05:28Because you get to see it too much.
05:29Yeah.
05:30The beauty in horror is not showing that.
05:32Or if you're going to place a lot of focus on it,
05:34you've got to make it look a little better.
05:35They probably could have done something,
05:36just another back shot of it,
05:38like grabbing him by the shoulder or something.
05:40So I've actually seen this before,
05:41so I think it's actually a lot more popular than this is.
05:44You've seen this?
05:45Yes.
05:46This is the problem is,
05:47John searches Vimeo where it's uploaded with no views,
05:49but then you find out it's on YouTube with lots of views.
05:53This has 3.8 million.
05:54What are you doing to me?
05:56And you did this last year too.
05:57There was like a celebrity in one of them.
05:59This is against the thesis.
06:00Look, 3.8 million, dude.
06:02That could be Celebrimbor.
06:03That might very well be Celebrimbor.
06:05But you know what, it does go to show you,
06:06Vimeo is a dumping ground.
06:08Now they can all be like this.
06:10I didn't cross-check anything.
06:11All right, so this is the next video
06:13that probably has millions of views.
06:15You want to go check it first?
06:16That thumbnail screams millions of views.
06:19I'm just going to check.
06:20There's YouTube.
06:21Okay, 800 views on YouTube.
06:22Okay, that's fine.
06:23I don't want to hear Matt be like,
06:24I've seen this.
06:26What is this called again?
06:27The Last Sundown.
06:28You look like the kind of guy that would sundown.
06:31No, I think I get a little better in the night.
06:33That must be a drone shot, right?
06:35Gone down.
06:36Yeah, or craned.
06:37Probably a drone.
06:38Nobody uses cranes anymore.
06:39It's definitely because it's zooming in.
06:42That's true, exactly.
06:43It's kind of a sausage-y.
06:44That's kind of a neat little effect there.
06:46Kind of olive-y taste.
06:48That's pretty cool, I like this.
06:49Yeah, that's awesome.
06:53Oh look, I love it.
06:55You get some animals involved
06:56and the animals act like they kind of should.
06:58You could get some small dogs.
06:59With backlighting on their hair.
07:01Yeah.
07:02Filmed during golden hour.
07:04With a woman?
07:05800 views.
07:07We found a real woman.
07:09Is it a woman?
07:10But the stupid Gollum movie has 3.8 mil?
07:23Yeah, it was a nice dog.
07:24You think there's some training involved with that dog?
07:28Alright.
07:29There's a lot of camera movement.
07:31Good use of light.
07:33Let me tell you something.
07:34Moving a camera around is not an easy thing to do.
07:36No.
07:37And this looks good.
07:38It's a pain in the arse.
07:39Yeah, and it's landing where it needs to land.
07:41Yeah, look at that.
07:42That was nice.
07:43That's a nice shot.
07:47Good following.
07:48You ever shoot in a movie
07:49and you've got to move the camera
07:50and you're like, hmm.
07:53I like the Dutch angle.
08:00Like the Dutch oven?
08:03Oh, is it a bird?
08:05It's Gollum from the last one.
08:08How's it going?
08:09Oh.
08:10A cool shot of the camera going,
08:12the phone going down.
08:13Did anyone see what that was?
08:15No.
08:18It looked like a bat.
08:23This movie really puts the horror short film
08:24in horror short film.
08:25It does.
08:31Bracket horror short film.
08:36Oh.
08:41I think this is kind of a cool conceit, too.
08:43I like this all so far.
08:44It uses the geography of the house
08:47on this chimney.
08:49Yeah.
08:52Wow, VFX?
08:53Must be VFX.
08:54Yeah.
08:55I don't think they have stump bats.
08:57Stump bats.
08:58If I didn't know any better,
09:00I would have thought this had 3.8 million
09:01on some other platform.
09:02Yeah, me too.
09:06Well, now that looks like a latex bath.
09:08Yeah.
09:11See, no matter how...
09:12That looked like howling blood.
09:14They were doing so good.
09:16No matter how good your movie is,
09:18a monster jumps out and eats you.
09:19Yes.
09:20Yeah.
09:22They had a mood going here.
09:23They had a real mood.
09:24It was a cool shot, too.
09:25Yeah.
09:26See, now it's sundown and the bats fly up.
09:28I guess what this movie really says is,
09:30hey, if you're out there
09:31and you have a story to tell,
09:32I could help you shoot it.
09:35I don't know.
09:38I mean, I guess that's what Vimeo
09:40is supposed to be altogether, right?
09:41Yeah.
09:42Yeah, VFX, yeah.
09:44Yeah, I think this was maybe international
09:46based on some of the names here, yeah.
09:48You got umlauts all over the place.
09:51I thought this was enjoyable.
09:52The less known Wahlberg.
09:53Kristoff said umlauts.
09:57I thought it was good.
09:58Despite the kind of lame ending
10:00of the latex mask guy,
10:01I really did enjoy that.
10:03I thought I had a nice shot.
10:04You would hire that person
10:05if you had a little money.
10:06Oh, yeah.
10:07Over, under.
10:08How much do you think this is going to end
10:10with a jump scare?
10:11So this is Voodoo Horror Short Film.
10:1325 views by Nir Paniri.
10:16Sounds delicious.
10:24I like it.
10:25Yeah.
10:26It's good so far.
10:27I mean, just the title, but...
10:29Yeah, that's nice looking.
10:31Yeah.
10:32Not super flat.
10:33Oh, I hate that sound.
10:34The L file.
10:35Mm.
10:36It does something.
10:37It's like they've done very poorly.
10:38You're grossed out by nails, I noticed.
10:40In general.
10:41Fingernails?
10:42You have to take your fingernail,
10:43actually, EJ,
10:44and turn it up and down.
10:45Yeah.
10:46Oh, you're...
10:47Crack my weak fingernails on the thing.
10:49And then like, yeah,
10:50Elijah Wood with his stubby little fingernails,
10:53he puts the ring on and he disappears.
10:56And so that's all we really see
10:58with the close-up of his really short,
11:00weird, gross nails.
11:02Well, I'm just...
11:03No, specifically Frodo's nails.
11:05Yeah, it's like...
11:06The Fellowship of the Ring,
11:07when they do the close-up
11:09of Elijah Wood's nails,
11:11they're just way too short.
11:12It's really disgusting.
11:14It's just disgusting.
11:20Okay.
11:26I'm a little freaked out by Voodoo Girl's text.
11:28Her first mistake was replying to an unknown text.
11:31Yeah.
11:32Yeah.
11:33Just say yes, it's pretty.
11:34I mean, all she said so far is,
11:35um, who's this?
11:36I think anything that's like a demonic effigy
11:39of someone else freaks me out.
11:43Yeah.
11:48She realizes her shirt's clogged?
11:49I don't know.
11:50Ow, I cut myself on my underpants.
11:52It's like a running theme of like,
11:53minor cuts, isn't there?
11:54That is a horror trope for sure, right?
11:56Like, ow, I cut myself on the thing.
11:59It's like to introduce the idea of blood.
12:01Hey, I bought you.
12:03And it's going to show her
12:04with a pin in her hand or something.
12:07Right.
12:08Yeah.
12:09On account of...
12:10On account of three-minute runtime.
12:14It's a hacker.
12:15I tell you, all the cinematography today
12:17has been pretty...
12:18It's been pretty good.
12:19Yeah.
12:20Yeah.
12:23Is AI making all these movies?
12:25No, but there were a ton of AI movies.
12:27See, that's minor,
12:28but I wouldn't cut from a medium
12:30to a medium like that.
12:31Yeah.
12:32Only because it's a lost opportunity
12:34to advance the story or build suspense.
12:38Call me crazy,
12:39I like to see people's faces
12:42and read performances.
12:43What is the police going to do?
12:46Is there a voodoo doll somewhere
12:48with an iPhone and a thumb?
12:54I didn't see a lot of articulation
12:56on that voodoo doll with fingers.
12:59That could have been pretty effective
13:01if her performance was better.
13:03Yeah.
13:04I guess the voodoo doll
13:05somehow allows you to unblock your phone.
13:07Just take the doll,
13:09because it's in the rope downstairs.
13:12I'll give you a doll.
13:14I'll give you a chance.
13:15Take the doll, break the hold.
13:17You've got 30 seconds.
13:22That's for the people
13:25who are visually impaired.
13:29She's like,
13:30there's only one way to measure time.
13:33An hourglass.
13:38Right in the asshole.
13:40I put a pin in your asshole.
13:45Ah!
13:50I guess voodoo dolls
13:51are kind of like an easy thing
13:52to do this with,
13:53which is kind of a good idea.
13:54Yeah, it is.
13:58All right.
13:59Pretty unaffected suddenly.
14:00Mm-hmm.
14:02Didn't seem to hurt her that much.
14:03She's running towards
14:06whoever set up
14:07a complete voodoo thing downstairs.
14:10Do you think that there's such a thing
14:12as like,
14:13for a movie like this,
14:14where the expert cinematography
14:16is a little too nice?
14:17Yeah.
14:18Where it kind of actually hurts
14:19the immersion a little?
14:20Everything kind of has to be
14:21at the same level.
14:22You don't want everything
14:23like professionally studio lit,
14:25do you?
14:27Yeah, I think it's easier
14:28than ever to get.
14:29Right.
14:30Lighting, it's cheap now.
14:32A consumer camera can make
14:34all this look good.
14:39Well.
14:40Well, a monster didn't come
14:41and eat you.
14:42Yeah.
14:43I'll give that.
14:44No context.
14:45No, like,
14:46why is this happening to her?
14:47It goes to show you that
14:48there's only so many things
14:49you can do in a short film.
14:50Yeah, in three minutes.
14:51You get a punchline.
14:52That's what you get.
14:54It wasn't bad.
14:55It's all right.
14:56You know,
14:57I'd never ever watch it again.
15:00It's a dime a dozen,
15:01I'd say.
15:02What's this next one here?
15:03Knock, horror short film.
15:04Hi.
15:05My name is Honey.
15:06I am a filmmaker and video editor.
15:07This horror short film is directed,
15:09comma,
15:10by me.
15:11Shoot on iPhone 7.
15:12iPhone 7?
15:13Now, it was uploaded
15:14in October 2023,
15:16so now I'm left to,
15:17I gotta look for,
15:18oh, there's Knock right there.
15:19That's the one.
15:202.3 thousand, I guess.
15:21Okay.
15:22Yeah.
15:23That's in the range.
15:24All right, back to Vimeo.
15:25That's like a standard
15:26Red Cat video.
15:27Yeah, exactly.
15:35There once was a man
15:36who put to sea
15:38The name of the ship
15:39was the Billy of Tea
15:42We're just gonna turn into
15:43Neil Arden
15:45Sound it down
15:46Blow my volume up
15:48Wasting run time
15:49Soon did the moment come
15:51To bring us sugar and tea and rum
15:54One day when the moment is done
15:56We'll take our leave and go
15:59I'm just trying to
16:00You can tell that the movie
16:01is really good.
16:02Give us a natural rhythm.
16:05What I think,
16:06it's not shot 24 frames per second,
16:08so it's got a very video-ish feel.
16:11Yeah.
16:12I mean, it was shot on iPhone 7.
16:14iPhone 7,
16:15so they probably didn't do any of the,
16:17because you can switch it
16:19to 24 frames per second.
16:20Even back then, on the 7?
16:227's like...
16:23You can at least download
16:24an app that way.
16:25Okay, yeah.
16:26There are filmmaking apps.
16:28What did I shoot on the iPhone 7?
16:30Probably video blogs.
16:31Yeah.
16:34The iPhone 6 was,
16:35I remember,
16:36a big leap forward.
16:37Yeah, I had a 6.
16:38That was my last iPhone.
16:41No, no.
16:42There's more knocking to be done.
16:45Film was called knock,
16:46not knocks.
16:48True.
16:49If you get one,
16:50you can leave.
16:51I have to say that
16:52the garish kind of iPhone look here,
16:54with the gross colors,
16:55I don't like the auto-exposure
16:56right there.
16:57But before that,
16:58it was a little bit, like,
17:00on the way to being effective.
17:01Yeah, it's got, like,
17:02not there,
17:03but it's got a certain look to it
17:04that I appreciate.
17:06Especially when compared
17:07to those, like, studio lit.
17:09Thanks, honey.
17:10Thanks, honey.
17:13That one's not going
17:14into our film festival.
17:15So the eyeball was knocking
17:16from inside the bath.
17:18Alright, so this next one's
17:19Beyond the Shadows,
17:20a film by Christian Donoho,
17:21starring Jameson Donoho.
17:23Oh, his brother?
17:2433 views,
17:25eight months ago.
17:28Slider? No.
17:29This looks like it's an intro
17:30to, like,
17:31a network television show?
17:32Yes.
17:33Oh, yeah, definitely.
17:34Like, Are You Afraid of the Dark?
17:35Like, once you've cut into
17:36an episode of
17:37Are You Afraid of the Dark,
17:38they're, you know,
17:39restarting.
17:40Tonight on an all-new
17:41Beyond the Shadows.
17:44NBC.
17:45Can Matt wrestle
17:46with his true persona of Marcus?
17:49Tune in tonight.
17:51Is he controlling Marcus,
17:52or is Marcus controlling him?
17:54I like they got, like,
17:55a fog machine or something
17:56because they can see
17:57what's streaming.
17:58Yeah, I like that.
18:00Is that a wand?
18:01No, it's a lamp.
18:03I gotta tell you,
18:04I'm, like, starting to fall
18:05out of love with good lighting.
18:07You want it to be
18:08badly lit?
18:09Well, it's a proof.
18:10It's like it's
18:11one proof after another
18:12that good lighting
18:13doesn't make a good movie.
18:14Yeah.
18:16Well, I mean,
18:17it's kind of interesting.
18:18We used to have
18:19just good camera.
18:20Now you have good camera
18:21and good lighting, you know?
18:22Right.
18:23Everybody's kind of
18:24figured those out.
18:25How many more years
18:26until they get the good movie?
18:27I mean, even the lights
18:28were easy right now.
18:29You can dial in
18:30a monster with anything,
18:31so it's easier than ever.
18:32We were just watching...
18:35Oh, the scary monster
18:36shows up early in the movie.
18:40Yeah.
18:41Oh, it's just a blanket
18:44placed weirdly on a chair.
18:46Could the blanket
18:47come to life?
18:48That would be
18:49pretty cool, actually.
18:50I'd kind of be down for it.
18:51Oh, blanket.
18:52Blanket.
18:53I'd kind of be down.
18:55To be fair,
18:56I think when I was a kid,
18:57I think this situation
18:58happened a lot.
18:59The thing is,
19:00if that happened to me,
19:01I would have went
19:02and fixed the blanket.
19:03I would not have left it there.
19:04Yeah, I would have
19:05fixed the blanket.
19:06Yeah, for sure.
19:07Just to make sure
19:08I wasn't losing my life.
19:09A seven-year-old me
19:10would have unfolded
19:11that blanket at 3 a.m.
19:12What if you had
19:13a huge boner
19:14and didn't want to get up?
19:15That would not have
19:16prevented me from getting up.
19:19I got a huge boner
19:20and I got to fight.
19:26Oh, he gave me a big fight.
19:29See?
19:30If he had gotten up
19:31and folded the darn blanket,
19:32it would have been fine.
19:34Tomorrow night,
19:35I'm beyond the shadows.
19:36Okay, there were no shadows.
19:38There was nothing beyond them.
19:41The shadow of the blanket.
19:45Well, I noticed
19:46that a monster
19:47did a jump scare
19:48at the end of his run.
19:49Did you really jump a little?
19:50No.
19:51Did I jump a little?
19:53I just pressed him
19:54against my body,
19:55so he reacted a little
19:56when the guy first showed up.
19:57I don't know.
19:58What if EJ's pressed up
19:59against my body
20:00and I get a boner?
20:02Why do you think
20:03I have this guy on the left?
20:04Just the title of this one
20:05has me thinking things
20:06that are just kind of like,
20:07ugh.
20:08Yeah, earworm.
20:09It evokes something gross
20:10for sure.
20:11That is the most disgusting
20:12named of the bugs.
20:13Wouldn't you agree?
20:14Earwig.
20:15Yeah, earwig, earworm.
20:16The idea of any bug in my ear
20:17is a serious, like...
20:19Yeah, serious problem.
20:21Directed and written
20:22by Bernard Visser,
20:23based on an original idea
20:24by Richard Rumble.
20:25Richard Rumble?
20:26Richard Rumble!
20:28Like a Fall River wrestler.
20:29Yeah.
20:32Come out to the Civic Center
20:33and watch Richard Rumble.
20:34Richard Rumble.
20:35He's going to fight
20:36Dr. Pain.
20:38Who has a PhD
20:39in Killology.
20:40He's going to face
20:41two midgets.
20:42Come watch Richard Rumble
20:43fight two midgets
20:44at the Fall River
20:45Civic Center.
20:46Former WWE star
20:47Dinkin' Pink.
20:49So we don't know
20:50anything about this
20:51other than it's got
20:52a gross name.
20:53Yeah.
20:54Let's do it.
20:55At least one of these
20:56is funny.
21:00Oh, we're watching Fallout.
21:01Oh yeah.
21:02Yeah.
21:03Don't piss on the moon.
21:11And I did it my way.
21:14As he kills people.
21:15Yes.
21:16Slow motion.
21:17Mmm.
21:25Megaphone?
21:26What is it?
21:27This set's a little
21:28too complicated
21:29to comprehend.
21:36Um.
21:38It's not as expertly lit.
21:39That's good.
21:41It's pretty dark.
21:42I'm rooting for movies
21:43to be sh***y lit now.
21:45Does he have his lunch
21:46on the toolbox?
21:47Lunch and wires?
21:49It looks like a megaphone.
21:56Oh, somebody's
21:57flicking the switch.
21:59Let's see what we get
22:00in the chair.
22:04Something's hungry.
22:06Eh, sound engineering's...
22:08eh.
22:09I would say this
22:10whole thing is, uh...
22:11Yeah, for a movie called
22:12Earworm, you better
22:13have good sound.
22:15I'll say.
22:16I agree.
22:17Yeah.
22:18Earworm, it ought to
22:19have the best sound.
22:20The very best sound.
22:21It ought to have
22:22the best sound.
22:23Nobody knows
22:24more about earworms
22:25than I do.
22:28Eating the earworms.
22:31Come on.
22:32Come on.
22:33Come on.
22:36Jerking his earworm.
22:38Jerking the earworm.
22:39Come on.
22:46No, no, it's a wind-up one,
22:47obviously, but...
22:48Does the ghost
22:49like the music?
22:51It's kind of clever
22:52if that's actually
22:53what's going on.
22:55You shut that thing up?
22:57He's like,
22:58the ghost has a huge
22:59fallout faint.
23:00Oh, good, my jam's
23:01playing again.
23:02The ghost is pissed
23:03that we disliked it.
23:04The ghost left
23:05a bad comment
23:06on our review.
23:08The premise is
23:09kind of interesting
23:10that this guy has to,
23:11like, service the ghost,
23:12but...
23:14Is that what he's doing?
23:15Why is the ghost a tiger?
23:16Yeah, it seems
23:17like it's what he's doing.
23:18Wind up the ghost.
23:21Yeah, that ghost
23:22has a huge throat.
23:30I know that sound effect.
23:31I've used it in
23:32Box Mac Halloween's.
23:38Why not buy one
23:39with, like,
23:40a battery?
23:41Or...
23:42Maybe all electronics.
23:43Yeah, put it on
23:44an MP3 player, please.
23:49You just start
23:50spinning it with...
23:52Yeah, I'm sure.
24:04Huh.
24:06It's certainly
24:07a horrific concept.
24:10A horrific concept
24:11poorly executed.
24:13Well, you know how I was
24:15commending it
24:16for bad lighting?
24:17Yeah.
24:18Did your view change?
24:19Yeah, I'd like to be able
24:20to see it.
24:21Yeah, I can't see it.
24:22I can't see your movie.
24:28Cut the credits.
24:30It's got to cut the credits
24:31any moment now.
24:32How about you just do it?
24:33How about you let it go?
24:40Post-credits.
24:41It shows Thor's hammer.
24:44Wait.
24:45Thanks, Richard Rumble.
24:47We really needed your...
24:48Good premise.
24:49Bad premise.
24:50Not so great execution.
24:51Bad earworm.
24:52Yeah, it was the most
24:53interesting premise
24:54of all the videos, actually.
24:55Yeah.
24:56Yeah, certainly more original
24:57than a voodoo doll.
24:58This one's called
24:59The Inner Horror Short.
25:00A young artist girl
25:01escapes from a monster
25:02painted by herself.
25:03A no-budget horror short film.
25:04Tell a friend if you like it.
25:05Hope you enjoy it.
25:06Well...
25:07A lot of friends
25:08are going to see it.
25:09Yeah, we're going to tell
25:10all our friends.
25:15Boots and cats
25:16and boots and cats
25:17and boots and cats
25:18and boots and cats
25:19and boots and cats
25:20and boots and cats
25:21and boots and cats
25:22and boots and cats
25:23and boots and cats
25:24and boots and cats
25:25and boots and cats
25:30There once was a boat
25:32that went to sea
25:33and there on the ship
25:34was a billy of tea.
25:38I feel like we're
25:39MSD3K in here.
25:41Yeah, it's a little sillier
25:42than normal.
25:44Painting right to bed.
25:45Don't need to
25:46clean those brushes.
25:48This is a very John Hunt
25:49do you feel scene?
25:50Yeah.
25:59Barely night time
26:00this lazy girl.
26:01Yeah, it was just
26:02mid-afternoon.
26:05You know, I would not
26:06tolerate that sound
26:07in my home.
26:09The violence
26:10of the night.
26:11The violence.
26:14It's a...
26:15It's a robe.
26:18Of course it's gone.
26:21Just once, I wanted to
26:22just be f***ing
26:23standing there still.
26:25That's funny.
26:26And she's like,
26:27hello?
26:28He's like, hey.
26:30Is your head made
26:31out of paper mache?
26:32Yes.
26:33Yeah.
26:34Yeah, just cover it up.
26:35Just cover it up,
26:36that'll help.
26:37Will you leave?
26:38No, I don't think I will.
26:39It'll probably be fine.
26:41No, I'm not going anywhere.
26:43No, I don't think I will.
26:47Hey, come back!
26:49We were supposed to...
26:53We were supposed to
26:54do something.
26:58Oh my God,
26:59I haven't seen you
27:00in forever!
27:05We should...
27:12Animal Crossing!
27:13Come on!
27:27I have a Groupon!
27:36That's some good acting
27:37right there.
27:38Come on now.
27:39Bring it.
27:42Pretend you were scared.
27:44Yeah, it's possible.
27:45It's possible that you could
27:46look that goofy
27:47and indignified
27:48when actually frightened.
27:49True, but...
27:52Hello?
27:53Hello?
27:54Orange CG.
27:56Oh, that's a nose ring.
27:57I thought it was a booger.
28:00Yeah, you know,
28:01nose rings
28:02end up looking like
28:03some kind of
28:04mythological beast.
28:07The Minotaur.
28:11The Minotaur.
28:27What happened to the
28:28monster who...
28:29Look, I concocted
28:30a different narrative
28:31in my head
28:32where that thing right there
28:33was just wanting a friend.
28:35It wanted to play
28:36cards against humanity,
28:37get some Uber Eats.
28:39Remember when
28:40the Minotaur saw the rage?
28:41Blackmagic 4K
28:42and it's got
28:43anamorphic lenses.
28:44Yeah, so it's called
28:45Wisp,
28:46a woman grieving
28:47the death of her father
28:48is lured into a forest
28:49by a supernatural force.
28:50Whoa.
28:51Oh, this will be
28:52a fun Chandler test.
28:53Right.
28:54Because you've got to be
28:55careful with forests.
28:56Look at that.
28:57Somebody's a cinematographer
28:58and not a director.
28:59I mean, that does look
29:00like a beautiful
29:01movie poster, doesn't it?
29:02Yeah.
29:03See?
29:04Oh, we got a slider.
29:05Do you ever have fibromyalgia?
29:10You don't have to drive
29:11all the way out here.
29:16Pain?
29:17Aching?
29:18Sadness?
29:19Fine.
29:20Diarrhea?
29:21Constipation.
29:23Other side effects
29:24may occur.
29:25Soon.
29:27Love you.
29:28Bye.
29:32She's got an old,
29:33old phone.
29:34Old timey phone.
29:35I live around antiques.
29:37I myself am
29:38strange and unusual.
29:39So sad.
29:41Black tears.
29:48It's a dog
29:49humping something.
29:51Yes.
29:54If I was going to use
29:55a dog sound effect,
29:56that's not the one
29:57I would have picked.
29:58Can we get a different
29:59dog sound effect?
30:00No.
30:01That's the one.
30:04We're locked in.
30:06We're locked into that one.
30:10How about a bark?
30:11How about ruff ruff?
30:16Oh, wisp.
30:17Okay.
30:18That's the name of the film.
30:19Where the f*** are you?
30:21How long is this?
30:23Not that long.
30:24As long as it has to be.
30:25Title shows up.
30:26The monster's going to
30:27pop out soon.
30:28Don't worry.
30:29She's sad.
30:30She had a bad phone call.
30:31I don't know what about.
30:32The dog's missing.
30:33Monster.
30:35She looks a little bit
30:36like a Slavic Hope Davis.
30:37I mean, yeah.
30:39I don't mind her
30:40as a main character physically.
30:41I'll just call him the doggo.
30:44So what do you think?
30:45How do you feel
30:46about this lighting?
30:47I think I look
30:48kind of like this.
30:49Yeah.
30:50I mean, it's, yeah, kind of.
30:51Oh, and Guardian Leviosa.
30:54Leviosa!
30:55Spectro Patronum.
30:56It's a willow wisp.
30:57It's an Irish folktale.
30:59Oh, like from that video game?
31:01Final Fantasy.
31:02That's cool.
31:03Yeah.
31:04I like the.
31:05It looks exactly like
31:06the thing in Harry Potter.
31:12Also cool.
31:13Yeah, actually,
31:14that is legitimately
31:15good VFX.
31:17But I don't know
31:18what's happening.
31:19No.
31:20All I know is she's.
31:21She got lost in the woods
31:22and she sees it.
31:23Why did she get lost
31:24in the woods?
31:25She was looking for the dog.
31:26The humping dog.
31:27It's not much of a plot
31:28to be honest with you.
31:29I mean, it's like
31:30the thing that drove the plot
31:31was looking for a dog
31:32that was humping off camera.
31:35She couldn't hear it.
31:36There was this.
31:37We were kind of talking about
31:38she was calling the dog.
31:39It wasn't much to be honest.
31:42Normally, like the thing
31:43that drives the character
31:44should get a little.
31:45What was that?
31:46It certainly wasn't a wisp.
31:47Who could it be but Gollum?
31:50Bridget!
31:51It gets around.
31:54That's it?
31:55It wasn't the worst looking
31:57creature I've seen,
31:58but I just.
31:59It just felt out.
32:00It felt out of place.
32:01Well, that shot right there,
32:03the one that used the title card
32:04was by far the best.
32:05Pretty sweet.
32:06I'm disappointed
32:07because I wanted to know more
32:08about what was going on.
32:09I know you've been avoiding
32:10like absolutely s*** movies.
32:12Yeah.
32:13I'm kind of craving one.
32:14Okay.
32:15This might be the one.
32:16Horror film dream or reality
32:18by Ahmed Shourav.
32:20Scene the game
32:22and it's zero views.
32:23What I want you to do
32:24every Halloween
32:25for as long as we do this.
32:26Sneak one in there.
32:27Alright.
32:28One with bad audio.
32:29One that's mostly opening credits.
32:31Okay.
32:33In the future,
32:34I'll take my job
32:35a little less seriously.
32:37Oh, yeah.
32:38Oh, yeah.
32:39This is what I want.
32:40This has been granted.
32:41We're diving right in.
32:42Yes.
32:43It's kids.
32:44It's kids.
32:45Oh, yeah.
32:46This is great.
32:48Oh, no, Mr. Bill.
32:50What's this?
32:52What's this crap?
32:53This f***ing rules.
32:59Oh, yeah.
33:00Yes.
33:03Oh.
33:05Cap cut.
33:06Cap cut.
33:07Excellent.
33:08Alright.
33:09Might have to watch this twice.
33:10I already did my job this year.
33:12I already did my job.
33:14Finally.
33:15Asking you shall receive.
33:16It did a pretty good job
33:17of making me uncomfortable
33:18right away.
33:19Yes.
33:20Like, you don't start
33:21any film that way.
33:25Like, where it's such s***,
33:26it could be like a snuff film.
33:29Oh, you know what's funny?
33:30I looked at this
33:31and I wasn't going to include it
33:32and it must have somehow
33:33gotten to the list.
33:34Oh, really?
33:35Yes.
33:36That's awesome.
33:37Because I saw this scene
33:38with the stairs and I was like...
33:39The titles were amazing.
33:40And what are these steps?
33:45This makes me more on at ease
33:47than any of the others.
33:48Yes.
33:49Like, I shouldn't be watching it.
33:50That's why I picked it.
33:51I felt Blair Ritchie.
33:52That's what it was.
33:53But again, I only watched
33:54the second film.
33:55Yeah, I mean, that's a start,
33:56I guess.
33:57The whole thing feels like
33:59The Heights of Incompetence.
34:02This is the scene
34:03that actually had a hit.
34:04Yeah, like, this might be
34:05what you get if you
34:07recently introduced
34:08the idea of film to someone.
34:09I could go to the basement
34:10right now, we could shoot this.
34:11Yeah.
34:13I mean, I could hide
34:14next to the furnace
34:15and, you know, we can just...
34:16I like the dollar sign.
34:17Yeah.
34:18The question is,
34:19when does the ghost appear
34:20to sexually assault someone?
34:21Well, maybe these guys
34:22will escape that trope.
34:23Maybe they're so stupid.
34:24No one gets sexually assaulted?
34:27Hello?
34:29Cut!
34:32Should I go?
34:35It was to build suspense.
34:37Oh, that was suspense.
34:39No longer over the shoulder.
34:40Oh, I like the redness
34:42in the eye.
34:43That's a scary shot right there.
34:44From the low light.
34:45From the light.
34:46But what?
34:47Did you see the fade
34:48back to the door?
34:49Yeah.
34:50It was a fade.
34:51I love unmotivated fades.
34:53Do you not know
34:54how the door works?
34:55We're like,
34:56your shots were so disparate
34:57that you had no way
34:58to get back and forth
34:59between them.
35:00Except you had to fade.
35:02Just to imply
35:03that they have a relationship
35:04to each other.
35:05Ah, it's spooky.
35:07It's Nikocado Avocado!
35:09Ah!
35:10As always,
35:11two steps ahead.
35:13So what we were seeing
35:14was a preview of itself.
35:16Oh, it's like a movie trailer.
35:18Cap cut.
35:19Wow.
35:20I was immediately lost
35:21because we saw
35:22the end of the film first
35:23and then the beginning
35:24and then the end again.
35:25This is called
35:26The Television
35:27from Bob Studios.
35:28Is this my boy?
35:29This is your boy.
35:30So this was a fan
35:31who said,
35:32hey, would you mind
35:33doing one of my films?
35:34And we said, okay.
35:35So third place winner
35:36of CVCH Eagle Arts Expo 2022,
35:38a man picks up
35:39a free old CRT TV
35:41off the street
35:42and brings it home.
35:43As it turns out,
35:44there's a reason
35:45why it was free.
35:46A man named EJ
35:47finds a CRT,
35:48a quality Panasonic
35:49or a Sorny TV.
35:50Sorny.
35:51All right, let's do it.
35:52Holy.
35:54Bob Studios.
35:55Bob.
35:56I think he took that logo
35:57from Microsoft.
35:58Oh, it's a Sylvania.
35:59Not known for their
36:00quality TVs, EJ.
36:01Yeah, that's a budget line.
36:02I had one.
36:03I liked it, actually.
36:04They make decent light bulbs.
36:06They do.
36:07Or they used to.
36:08I don't know if they still do.
36:09They make good
36:10household electronics.
36:11Oh, I like this
36:12because it's like a
36:13dog television.
36:14It's like a Radio 2.
36:15Yeah, yeah.
36:16This is cute.
36:17I would totally pick this up
36:18if it was free.
36:19If I saw it, it's free.
36:20Because it's compact and small
36:21and I could totally just
36:22fit it in there.
36:23You could say free.
36:24It's haunted.
36:25And I'd still pick it up.
36:26It probably just needs
36:27the capacitors.
36:28Yeah.
36:29I don't know.
36:30I wonder, is it actually red
36:31or did they paint it?
36:32I like the red.
36:33I picked up this Demonic CRT
36:34and I'm going to try
36:35to mod it to be
36:36in line with Christ.
36:40I picked up some
36:41holy water from Amazon.
36:42We're going to see if we can.
36:43Because I think it's
36:44a pretty good little TV
36:45if it's not demonic.
36:47Don't wear distracting
36:48shirts in your shots.
36:50There's no copyright infringement
36:51with any brand names.
36:53Ah, who cares.
36:54I mean, what are they going to do?
36:55Distribute it on DVD?
37:00Free.
37:04They didn't quite tweak
37:05that red tinge.
37:06Yeah, it's distracting for sure.
37:08It's an interesting idea.
37:10It's an interesting effect.
37:11But the back of his ear
37:12was right in the middle.
37:13I would have used that effect
37:14just subtly once or twice.
37:16Have it fade in and out
37:17and then go back
37:18to the all black and white.
37:19Yeah, I think it would be fine
37:20even just for the intro
37:21where they show the TV.
37:23The Poland Springs Walkman.
37:25Yeah, the Poland Springs.
37:26The Poland Springs.
37:28What it means to be from Maine.
37:33Did you know there's a product
37:34called the Video Walkman?
37:36Yes.
37:37I always wanted one so bad
37:38when I was a teenager.
37:40They have composite.
37:41Short film not found.
37:42Yeah, short film not found.
37:45Um, alright.
37:46I mean you can shoot
37:47with this camera at night.
37:50Doesn't mean you shouldn't.
37:52Stop to think you should.
37:55The Ian Malcolm dilemma.
37:57You don't have to like
37:58have the lights low.
37:59You can have the lights up
38:00and then make it look...
38:01Oh, that's a still.
38:02That's a still frame.
38:04It is a still frame.
38:05Did we forget to get that shot?
38:07We forgot.
38:08Just took it as an iPhone
38:09photo later and panned it.
38:10Yeah, you can tell
38:11because the grain from the low...
38:13It stopped.
38:14Stopped.
38:15Grain ending.
38:16Oh, focus hunting.
38:17Focus hunting.
38:19Focus hunting.
38:23Do you think the main character
38:24is the guy that you talked to?
38:25I have no idea.
38:26Poker face.
38:27P-p-poker face.
38:30He bought one of our movies
38:31on Blu-ray.
38:32It's just a matter of time
38:33before he's doing this
38:34with his buddies.
38:35To me.
38:39Throw that thing away.
38:40It doesn't...
38:41You can't throw it away.
38:42They're gonna charge you so much.
38:43It can't be modded.
38:44Yeah, it can't be RGB modded.
38:46Throw it away.
38:47CRTs have to be disposed of
38:48properly at the proper facilities.
38:50You bring it to Best Buy
38:51and then they throw it in the dumpster.
38:53You might have to pay $10.
38:59Okay.
39:00And what's with the red s*** now?
39:02Virginia City.
39:04I'm sure it's just...
39:05They just put the effect
39:06over the whole thing.
39:07It's because it's coming up, right?
39:08Yeah.
39:09Yeah, it's just a...
39:10You know, you can mask, you know,
39:12you can mask the redness
39:15in your editing.
39:17Well, I don't really know
39:18what the redness is even meant to signify.
39:20I'm just trying to figure out
39:21what the issue with the TV is.
39:23At first, he didn't even turn it on.
39:25Then it turned on by itself to snow.
39:28But like...
39:30But does it even work?
39:31Like, he hasn't plugged anything into it.
39:34Maybe he's just hallucinating.
39:35I think that's what it is.
39:36Maybe if you slap it around a little bit.
39:44He turned it off.
39:45That's all there was to it.
39:46Credits.
39:47Next time, just turn it off.
39:48TV radio.
39:51Oh, it's a radio.
39:53I thought it was giving him pleasure.
39:55Yeah, me too.
39:56I thought he passed out after a while.
40:03Can I put Pornhub on this thing?
40:07Yeah, does it get a Pornhub?
40:08I want a discreet way to masturbate in bed.
40:11Duh.
40:12It's like Wizard of Oz.
40:14Everything's in color now.
40:15He's in Oz.
40:16And you were there.
40:19And my weird Yuma City shirt was there.
40:24Virginia City.
40:26Virgin City.
40:28Mean.
40:30Mean.
40:33Maybe the color means that the haunting is over.
40:35Yeah, maybe.
40:36Then what are we still doing here?
40:37Oh, it's gone, yeah.
40:38The ghost is gone.
40:39It was a dream all along.
40:41Oh, jeez.
40:42Jeez, Cap.
40:45Blah.
40:47Is that the logo for the studio?
40:48Yeah.
40:50In the movie?
40:51The TV's in the shower?
40:52The acting of the toothbrush was really bad.
40:56Just do it as if you were actually brushing your teeth.
40:58No.
40:59I'm going to do it with my mouth.
41:03That is a good idea.
41:06There once was a ship that put to sea the name of...
41:10Staring!
41:13Remember the first things we made that would just have ridiculous credits?
41:16This is like that.
41:17Yeah.
41:18Are you just so pleased to be able to create credits?
41:19Oh, it's fictitious, you say.
41:23I had that happen the other week.
41:24I was about ready to sue.
41:25As you can see from my acting, I don't really brush my teeth.
41:28What's in there?
41:34So, thanks for buying my products and my merch.
41:36You should have watched our show.
41:37He should have known what he was in for.
41:39It's like one of those things that you just feel like,
41:41hey, I am making a video for the first time.
41:44What positive thing can we say about it?
41:47Hmm.
41:48It wasn't that long?
41:49What do you do for a day job?
41:51Can I have the CRT?
41:53Come up with a story next time.
41:55Stories is like, this inanimate object is frightening.
41:57I think the inner was my favorite.
41:59The one where the CG red thing was...
42:01Really?
42:02No, no, not actually.
42:03Oh, okay.
42:04I enjoyed myself.
42:05I see.
42:06No, the best one?
42:07The Polaroid one, which has millions of views probably was the best.
42:11Last Sundown.
42:12Yeah, that was my favorite.
42:13That was my favorite.
42:14Because it was so bloody well shot.
42:16I had a lot of fun watching those.
42:17I love them.
42:18Just sit around, eat pizza, and do this.
42:19All right, happy Halloween.
42:20Happy Halloween!
42:22I have a Groupon!