England footballer reveals being sectioned saved his lifeThe Overlap
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00:00Seven years ago, I was in a really, really bad place.
00:03Like, severe depression.
00:04And it probably actually started before that,
00:06but I actually at the time didn't know what was going on.
00:09Just waking up each day,
00:10not realising why am I feeling this way, why not?
00:13Energy's low, not really wanting to join in
00:15with the lads in training,
00:17not wanna join in with the banter.
00:18But I didn't know it at the time,
00:19so I was just, and I was one of them
00:20quite old school person, I am, quite-
00:22Keep yourself to yourself.
00:23Yeah, keep myself to myself.
00:24And I used to always try and look after everyone else.
00:26There was never a time where I thought,
00:27should I go and ask, like, tell the doc,
00:29I'm not feeling all right here.
00:30So I just tried to just push it aside
00:32and I was just getting worse and worse.
00:34Was there anything that pinpointed that?
00:36I don't know, you just started to feel down.
00:38Feeling lower and lower.
00:39You get to a stage where you can't even get out of bed.
00:41Just not wanna be around people,
00:43just wanna be in the dark, not wanna see anyone.
00:46And I was just putting on a mask,
00:47so I could walk into a room and you'd think he's fine.
00:49I could go in and go, oh yes, lads, you all right?
00:51Nice one.
00:52Do my training and get off.
00:53But then I'd go home and literally just get back in bed.
00:55And I did that for a long period of time.
00:59Just before, when I was at Everton,
01:01probably the last 10 days of that,
01:03honestly, I was struggling to get out of bed.
01:05I was struggling to, I couldn't get out of bed.
01:07I couldn't function.
01:08At what stage did you know it's mental health
01:11and not, you know, I'm just having a bad few days?
01:15How long through did you realise this was something serious?
01:18So at the time, I'm just like, this will pass.
01:20I'm not sleeping.
01:22I'm not enjoying football.
01:23I'm not enjoying off the pitch.
01:24I'm not even enjoying, like I said,
01:25a night out or whatever with the lads anymore.
01:27But at the time, I'm just like, this will pass.
01:29This will pass.
01:29I'll be all right.
01:30Do you think that comes down to the competitive brain
01:32in respects of us playing football and saying,
01:34I've just got blast through this?
01:36Yeah.
01:37Yeah.
01:37Do you think that plays a part?
01:38100%.
01:39And I was just like me, I'll get through this.
01:40I don't need any help.
01:41I'll deal with this.
01:42And I'm one of them as well.
01:42I didn't want to put it on anyone else.
01:43Didn't want to ring my dad.
01:44Didn't want to ring my family.
01:45I've got good friends, good family, good mum and dad.
01:48And I was like, no, I'll sort this.
01:49And then got to a stage where I was like suicidal thoughts.
01:52Like I said, I couldn't get out of bed.
01:54So eventually, like I said, I got assessed
01:56and I was sectioned.
01:57I was literally put in hospital.
01:58I still wouldn't have gone in.
01:59And that's what I tell people to this day.
02:00Like if I didn't get sectioned,
02:01I probably wouldn't be here having this conversation.