The Three Badasses Who Want Me (FULL MOVIE) BILLIONAIRE, SHORT DRAMA, FILM, SHOW, ANIME, MOVIE
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:00:09What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:14Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:19If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:23Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:26What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:00:31And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:36All right, everybody get out. We got an important guest coming.
00:00:43You.
00:00:48You deaf? I said pack up and scram.
00:00:50I paid the staff here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:00:54But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:00:58I want to say that again.
00:01:01You know who's visiting today?
00:01:03Ellen freaking Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:07Ellen Musk?
00:01:08Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:11Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:15Really?
00:01:16Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:01:21You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:27Coming to see you?
00:01:29All right, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:01:32If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:39Let's go.
00:01:48Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:01:51Or else, you're fired.
00:02:12Can I borrow the limo? Miss Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:22Your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:24Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:27Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:39Ellen, I mean, Miss Musk, Ellen, I mean, I'm sorry that I...
00:02:46Sorry to frighten you.
00:02:48How's my boss bitch?
00:02:50Kick an ass, girlfriend.
00:02:52So how do you, like...
00:02:55She's my boss.
00:02:58I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:02No way.
00:03:07No. No.
00:03:10No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:12No, I won't do it again.
00:03:16All right, that's enough. We're not tyrants here.
00:03:25Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:34You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:36The unruly bride.
00:03:39You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:44Who are you?
00:03:47Where is she?
00:03:49Atlanta. And you were right.
00:03:51It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:53My clever bride.
00:03:55I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:02Max, prep the jet. I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:10Dr. Wilson, Ben and Sterling's on the move. He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:13Atlanta? The game is afoot. I'm going.
00:04:17Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:20He can wait. I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:26Dr. Wilson.
00:04:33General Eisenhower reporting, sir.
00:04:36Douglas, Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:39Atlanta.
00:04:41Where is that?
00:04:43Whatever. Prepare my warplane.
00:04:45Those two are going after my fiancée.
00:04:48This is war.
00:04:54I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:10Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:13This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:16That project is worth billions.
00:05:18He can finally take his company public.
00:05:21Angela, my boss.
00:05:24I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:31Without your backing.
00:05:33No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:36Three years ago.
00:05:57You saved me.
00:06:03He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:07I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:13But now with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:21So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:24I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:29But why work at the flea market?
00:06:31Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:35Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:40Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:44You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:50Where the hell are you?
00:06:52Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:55Get home stacked.
00:06:57It's a big day today.
00:07:00That was my mother-in-law, Carol.
00:07:03She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower class family.
00:07:07But she's going to be excited tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:13You know, she even remembered our third year anniversary.
00:07:21Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:25Hi, I'm home.
00:07:27I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:29Finally, you're back.
00:07:30Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:34Divorce papers?
00:07:37Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:41God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:44We're ending that relationship.
00:07:46Just look at you, dirt all over.
00:07:49You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:51You don't deserve my son.
00:07:53You're way below his league.
00:07:56I'm below his league?
00:07:58That's right.
00:07:59You are.
00:08:01Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
00:08:07And then his company's going public.
00:08:10That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:12But you, you're still just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:08:18Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:21You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:25Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:30Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:32But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:36You're delusional.
00:08:37You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:40How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:46Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:50And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:57You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:09:03Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee, not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:07Enough!
00:09:09Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:13But I am.
00:09:15Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:18Here's 500K.
00:09:19You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:23Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:26Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:30I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:35Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:38Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:41Fine.
00:09:42Here's another 200,000.
00:09:45500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:47She's done nothing.
00:09:49Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:52She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:55Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:09:59I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:03You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:08And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:10:12A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:16What a joke.
00:10:17If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:23And leave!
00:10:26You really think that Jared would have gotten that Maple Plaza bid without me?
00:10:31Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:33I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:37Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:42It's all my work!
00:10:47Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:55You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:00So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:04She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:07Fine.
00:11:10I'll sign it.
00:11:12But don't regret it.
00:11:15Regret?
00:11:17You know who I am?
00:11:19Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:23I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:27Jared winning the bid, a Maple Plaza, was because of my dad.
00:11:33Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:11:36It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:41You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:45Social stratum matters.
00:11:47Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:51And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:54And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:11:59Ha! You're delusional.
00:12:02Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:05Ah!
00:12:07You owe me.
00:12:09You dirty bitch. You're sick of me.
00:12:12Ah!
00:12:18You hit me.
00:12:22Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:36I don't need your penny money.
00:12:40We're finished.
00:12:42You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:45Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:48But I would like my ring back.
00:12:53But I would like my ring back.
00:13:04Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:15And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:22Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:26It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:30Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:33Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:35You're right. And she could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:41Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:46Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:53Bigger big shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:56Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:00Oh, everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:17Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:23Vanderbilt?
00:14:24Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:14:28Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:31You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:35That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:47Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:15:05Who is he?
00:15:07That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:10He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:16Rumor has it he's worth trillions. And he's your fiancé.
00:15:22What? My fiancé?
00:15:26The one and only.
00:15:28So, after running away and leaving me single for three years, have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:15:40That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:48What is she doing here?
00:15:53You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:02Divorced?
00:16:05That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:11Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:15So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:18Guess she's not just a forsaken woman. She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:25How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:16:29Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:32Do you know who I am?
00:16:34They don't know who you are. You hide it well.
00:16:39Next team. Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:44Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:47Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York. You forgot to bring the security team.
00:16:58Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:03Tell us these ill-mannered apes out.
00:17:08You bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:15A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:23A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:27No.
00:17:35Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:38You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:17:43Gentlemen, Harvey Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:46Pleased to meet you all. Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution. What an honor.
00:17:52I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project. That's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:57Congrats. You'll be next.
00:17:59Thank you. But we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:18:03That's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:06Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:09So I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:13Thank you, Mr. Manager.
00:18:15Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:19Yes. I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:24Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:27Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:36I'll do my best.
00:18:39Excuse me, second gentleman.
00:18:42What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:47How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:49Me? A hobo? How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:54You sleep your way in?
00:18:55I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:18:58Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:01Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:03This is your ex-husband?
00:19:07What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:09Who the hell is this?
00:19:11You were cheating on me?
00:19:26Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:30Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:33That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:38They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:53You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:55Kaylee.
00:19:58Get your hands off of her.
00:20:04My lady.
00:20:19My queen.
00:20:26My queen.
00:20:31It's...
00:20:32It's him!
00:20:34He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:38Who are these peasants?
00:20:39These seats are reserved for the Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:20:44Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:47You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:51Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:53That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:55You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:58His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:21:02This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:05Vanderbilt.
00:21:07The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt.
00:21:12Who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:16That only Vanderbilt family?
00:21:24Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:21:31Whatever.
00:21:33Angela can handle herself, she'll be fine.
00:21:47How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:50I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:56I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:00And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:04Not with me around.
00:22:06I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:11You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:16You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:18We've had enough of your games.
00:22:20Security! Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:24Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:22:27But don't worry, you got new money.
00:22:32I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:34Yes, my queen.
00:22:37You're all despicable.
00:22:39An insult to your family names.
00:22:44Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:48Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:51Cut off all business ties.
00:22:53And if you don't,
00:22:56I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:01I knew it. You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:04You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:06How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:10You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:14You have nothing, and you will always be nothing.
00:23:18She's a gold digger.
00:23:21Gold digger.
00:23:23Gigolo.
00:23:25Wanna try me for a minute?
00:23:27Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:29Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:32They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:35Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:37She's only here to try and ruin my bill on the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:40I'm gonna kill that sushi chef.
00:23:42Security!
00:23:48Security!
00:23:50You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:53And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:55You!
00:23:57Insolent fools.
00:24:00Let me guess. You're that special guest?
00:24:03I don't know.
00:24:05Throw them out!
00:24:07And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:13Ugh.
00:24:15Back to that ass.
00:24:20I got this.
00:24:22I got this.
00:24:24I got this.
00:24:50What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:52I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:54No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:57Oh my god, we're so screwed.
00:25:08Angela!
00:25:10Don't hurt her.
00:25:12Bitch, I've always been sick of you.
00:25:14You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:16How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:25:18Boss?
00:25:20Miss Musk?
00:25:22That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:24That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:26My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:30Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:33Past the American Revolution?
00:25:35Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:37If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:40That's Lady Lockhart to you. She's royalty.
00:25:43And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:47What are you going to do? Kneel before me?
00:25:50Oh, your majesty.
00:25:53Welcome to the United States.
00:25:56We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:25:59Yes, your highness.
00:26:01Is it a queen or prince?
00:26:03It doesn't matter.
00:26:05My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:08Yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:26:11Hey, what are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:13Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:17No.
00:26:25What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:44She's a badass herself.
00:26:46He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:48You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:52Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:55No, no, don't believe their lies. I worked hard for everything.
00:26:59You worked for everything?
00:27:05Hi, honey.
00:27:07So, our 30th anniversary is coming up,
00:27:10and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:27:13I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:15I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project,
00:27:18and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:29You were nothing before me.
00:27:32All your achievements, all your glory,
00:27:35that's all mine, including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:40I can take all of that away.
00:27:42Just like that.
00:27:44No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:46That's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:50Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:53Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:55It was Queen Victoria's,
00:27:57and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:06No, I gave you back the ring.
00:28:09The ring? I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:12No! No, please!
00:28:14No! No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:17I still love you!
00:28:22Oh, man, it looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:25No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:34God, these two again.
00:28:36Did he say... Is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:39President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:41After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:43each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:28:46the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:48Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:50Sorry I'm late, babe. I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:53Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:29:00And that there is, that is the legendary,
00:29:04Dr. Wilson. He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:07Dr. House? I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:10Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:29:12Yep, that's me. Son of James House.
00:29:15Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:18I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:21So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall
00:29:24somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15 years.
00:29:27And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:34Hey, Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:38Uh, they're all your fiancées.
00:29:42What? Fiancées?
00:29:45Plural?
00:29:47Fiancées.
00:29:48Plural?
00:29:50Watch it, nerds. I'm her fiancée.
00:29:53No, I'm her fiancée.
00:29:55You can both shut up. I'm her fiancée.
00:29:57It's you.
00:29:59It's me. Who the hell is he?
00:30:01I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:03How are all three of these men my fiancée?
00:30:08Your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:30:11but I didn't tell you because you decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:15She has three badass fiancées and she marries his dumb ass.
00:30:22Whatever.
00:30:23Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:28Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:33At your service.
00:30:35Me too.
00:30:41One down, two more to go.
00:30:43She's become queen.
00:30:44Bishop to G4.
00:30:49Ow! Ow! Ow! What is that?
00:30:52The most German-fest water in the Nile River.
00:30:56Rawr!
00:30:59Rock to A8.
00:31:05Hello?
00:31:09I thought I was king.
00:31:10No, you wish.
00:31:12The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
00:31:15Oh, fun.
00:31:20Big Rock to four. It's right this second.
00:31:27I... I've been bankrupt! No!
00:31:33Who is he?
00:31:39I've been bankrupt! No!
00:31:42I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:47Well, guess what? Game over.
00:31:49All right, boys. Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:53Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:55I'm waiting with you.
00:31:57Wait for me.
00:31:59Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:32:09Angela.
00:32:13You already have three fiancées?
00:32:16You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:18I want compensation.
00:32:22You greedy S.O.B.
00:32:25Who the fuck is that?
00:32:26My ex-husband.
00:32:27Wait, you were married?
00:32:29Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:34More for me.
00:32:35No, no, of course not. Just...
00:32:37Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:40Don't steal my joke.
00:32:42I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:44All I need is your password for the com.
00:32:47What? Is there something on my face?
00:32:49Yeah, murderous intent.
00:32:52Let's remarry.
00:32:54Let's remarry.
00:32:56You still don't realize.
00:32:59I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:19Sir, it's an emergency. We need to wreck right away.
00:33:33Nicole, Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:37Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:41She should be okay now.
00:33:46Hey, you!
00:33:48I'll be right back.
00:33:58You saved me.
00:34:02Fuck.
00:34:03I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:07Fuck.
00:34:08I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:10You've cheated on me, you've hit me, you've insulted me.
00:34:15And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:34:19I fucking hate you.
00:34:22The Lady Lockhart.
00:34:24God, what now?
00:34:26Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:31but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project,
00:34:35how about us three?
00:34:36Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:34:40Yeah, no, you're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:43But this is your fault, you doofus.
00:34:46We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:34:48No, no.
00:34:51We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:34:56Our family.
00:34:58I'll get you for this.
00:35:05I never should have listened to you.
00:35:07I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:13Oh.
00:35:22So, what's the situation here?
00:35:25I don't listen to either of you.
00:35:35I don't listen to either of you.
00:35:38Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago
00:35:42and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:45But what if I told you
00:35:48that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:52Much longer.
00:35:56Angela, your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:36:02My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:05Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:07The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:10Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:12I heard you finally divorced
00:36:15that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking,
00:36:18freeloader husband of yours.
00:36:20Can't call his name, but anyway, congratulations.
00:36:24I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from
00:36:28I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from
00:36:30to replace him.
00:36:31Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:36:34Otherwise...
00:36:35Let me do it.
00:36:37You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:40Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:44Mom?
00:36:45All right, honey, that's it.
00:36:47Bye. Bye.
00:36:53So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:56Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:01Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:07That seems greedy.
00:37:14But I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:19Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:37:23I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:27Whoa, okay. No murder, please. I was just kidding.
00:37:33You have seven days to win her over.
00:37:35Ooh, it's like The Bachelorette.
00:37:38I know. We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:43Welcome to the show, The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:37:47Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:50What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:53You'll see.
00:38:02Oh my God! Oh my God! Cockroaches!
00:38:05All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:38:08And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:13What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love?
00:38:17What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single, butt-screaming-her-head-off heiress?
00:38:32Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:38:35It's up to the final two.
00:38:48No!
00:38:59Crunchy.
00:39:01That is sick, Cole.
00:39:03Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see we have these around.
00:39:09There are two more left. Want to try one?
00:39:11Oh my God, no! No!
00:39:15Oh my God, save me!
00:39:17Save you? You're going to save me!
00:39:21I'm a germophobe doctor. These hands can't get germs on them. They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:29No!
00:39:42Thank God you're here.
00:39:46Are you alright, honey?
00:39:48Angela!
00:39:52Alright, you won the first challenge, so you're a reward.
00:39:55You get to watch over her for the night. Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:40:00I'm not her scumbag husband. You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:08Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything. At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:40:14I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:18The cockroaches!
00:40:20They're gone, they're gone. There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:25I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:32I need a drink.
00:40:41Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:44Oh, why do you care?
00:40:47I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:51You guys were right. I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:40:57You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:41:03He never even loved me, and I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:11Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:17You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:23What?
00:41:27You're number one here.
00:41:34You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:38Lies.
00:41:40You all just want something from me.
00:41:44Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:49But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:41:55I'm the richest man in the nation. I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:42:04I just need you.
00:42:08I'll prove my love to you within six days. I promise.
00:42:24Screw the contest. I just want love.
00:42:28Angela, you're drunk.
00:42:32I'm an adult, Kate.
00:42:34Angela, you're drunk.
00:42:37I'm an adult. Can't a girl just get what she wants?
00:42:41Okay.
00:42:46But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:50Oh, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:42:55Come on.
00:43:01If this is what you want.
00:43:25Nine-inch penis.
00:43:27Morning to you too.
00:43:29You sure you were drunk last night? You wouldn't...
00:43:32A girl remembers when she's had a nine-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:38Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:41But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:44Because then they would...
00:43:46Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:48Technically, us having sex is a breaking point.
00:43:52Technically, us having sex is a breaking rules.
00:43:55I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen,
00:43:58my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:02Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:44:08You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:12Stop.
00:44:15Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:19I won't tell.
00:44:21But only on one condition.
00:44:25I won't tell.
00:44:27But only on one condition.
00:44:30You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:33Fine.
00:44:37I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:41You never noticed me.
00:44:45Look, you should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:52It's only 7 a.m. She's still sleeping.
00:44:55I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:56Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone with another man for another second.
00:45:02Morning, gentlemen. Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:45:06Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:08What's up, guys?
00:45:10We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:12No cockroaches this time.
00:45:14Yes, no more terrifying things. That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:17This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:20I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:22The second challenge is...
00:45:24The second challenge is...
00:45:26a date.
00:45:27Lame. I should have asked for something else.
00:45:29A date?
00:45:31That's it.
00:45:32What's the catch?
00:45:33No catch.
00:45:34Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:37As simple as that.
00:45:38I know what I want to do. Let's start with me first.
00:45:40Okay. Who's up first, then?
00:45:42Me.
00:45:43Save the best for last.
00:45:45Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:47Then it's decided.
00:45:51Please don't take my BMW away.
00:45:55Too bad. You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:45:58I have nothing left.
00:46:02It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:07It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:17Get your eyes and ears out, sir.
00:46:19At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:21This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:24Pass it on.
00:46:26At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:28This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:31Pass it on.
00:46:33He's so serious.
00:46:35But hang on.
00:46:37Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:40Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date
00:46:42so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:44Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:46:47Yes.
00:46:49Murder weapons.
00:46:57I like my guns, babe.
00:46:59Pretty rock hard.
00:47:01Yeah.
00:47:03Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:05Lieutenant, come close.
00:47:08Wait, you're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:10He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:12Fighting back would be treason, ma'am.
00:47:14Treason? You guys are way too young for that.
00:47:17I'm not going to fight back.
00:47:19I'm not going to fight back.
00:47:21I'm not going to fight back.
00:47:23Treason, ma'am.
00:47:25Treason? You guys are way too serious.
00:47:28Look, you rock hard bitch, I caught you.
00:47:31If I'm going down, you're all going down with me.
00:47:34Lieutenant, pincer attack.
00:47:48You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:51I will make you pay.
00:47:55You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:47:57We could just take him to the cops.
00:47:59Not when he tries to hurt you.
00:48:06Zoe's a bit violent.
00:48:08Some might call it being protective.
00:48:10Or anger issues.
00:48:12What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster
00:48:14on an antique table or something?
00:48:16Is he going to be like rough?
00:48:20Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:22I don't know if I am.
00:48:25Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:30Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:37Hey, cool ride.
00:48:40A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:43Impressive.
00:48:46Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:49Refreshing.
00:48:51I got cool mint too.
00:48:53Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:56What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:48:59Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:49:02So, where are you taking me to?
00:49:04Let me show you.
00:49:06Let's go.
00:49:13Dr. Wilson!
00:49:15A VIP of VIPs.
00:49:17Right this way.
00:49:18VIP of VIPs?
00:49:20Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:49:22I forget who.
00:49:23You saved a lot of people.
00:49:25I do what I can.
00:49:27Oh my gosh.
00:49:29It's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:34Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:49:36I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:39Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:41and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:47Hello of you.
00:49:49What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:51Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:53I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high end,
00:49:56you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:49:59The auction begins.
00:50:01I'll deal with you later.
00:50:04Here, I'll just be on your side.
00:50:10Cameron.
00:50:12I have a task for you.
00:50:15Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:19Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:21Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:50:25For five million dollars.
00:50:28Excuse me.
00:50:30I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:32It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:35I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:37It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:39What are you doing?
00:50:41Just watch.
00:50:48That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:50Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:53She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:56You work at a flea market?
00:50:58Not this again.
00:50:59Cut the bullshit.
00:51:00That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:02Oh yeah?
00:51:03Here, you want it?
00:51:04For free.
00:51:05Ew.
00:51:06I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:10Well, that's too bad then.
00:51:12Because you are the fraud.
00:51:15What are you talking about?
00:51:17Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:19Throw them out.
00:51:21Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine,
00:51:24but we're professionals.
00:51:26Oh yeah?
00:51:27And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:31Yeah.
00:51:32Mine is the real thing.
00:51:33You two are just upset because you're too poor
00:51:36to afford our luxury items.
00:51:38Why is that so?
00:51:39When a so-called expert fell to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:44Dear Lord.
00:51:46This is real.
00:51:48It's authentic.
00:51:50It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:53Cameron, what have you found?
00:51:55Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:51:58It's a replica.
00:52:01They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:04So, you are the fraud.
00:52:08You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:11And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:15One-fifty.
00:52:16Wow.
00:52:17Not even five dollars.
00:52:19Wow.
00:52:20Not even five dollars.
00:52:22Sandra.
00:52:23You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:26Arrest her!
00:52:28No!
00:52:29Please!
00:52:30He was just a splinter!
00:52:31Please!
00:52:32What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:35Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:52:38Bye.
00:52:39Black Callista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:50I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:53Me too.
00:52:54May I have a kiss?
00:53:11Something wrong?
00:53:12Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:20Yep.
00:53:21You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:53:33You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:38I don't have any money.
00:53:40How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:43I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:49Stop!
00:53:54Mr. Vanderbilt?
00:53:57Mr. Buffett?
00:54:02This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:05That's right.
00:54:06Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:08I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:12I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:14No, no.
00:54:15Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:17It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:20Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:23And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:29Angela still loves me.
00:54:30She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:32She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:34Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:36We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:39I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:42and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:44It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:48Sure.
00:54:49I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:51I just need...
00:54:52Anything.
00:54:53You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:55Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:54:58I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:04I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper just like you asked me to.
00:55:08Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:12Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:14I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:16That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:18It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:55:22And if he can't, then what?
00:55:24He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:25So as long as he's greedy, I have to take it.
00:55:29I'm avenging my brother.
00:55:32I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:34I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:44I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:47We should celebrate.
00:55:48You did?
00:55:49You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:52That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:55:55And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:58Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:03What?
00:56:05You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:07Oh, no, no, no, he's not.
00:56:09Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:11You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:15It's my decision, Mom.
00:56:17I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:19I'm telling my dad.
00:56:21Fine, go right ahead, he has enough problems himself.
00:56:23If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:26But if not, you can scram.
00:56:29Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:32Teach him a lesson.
00:56:33Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:36Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:39Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:41We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:43So do as he says.
00:56:45But Dad...
00:56:53I'm sorry.
00:56:54I'm sorry.
00:56:56Be your side piece.
00:56:58Very good.
00:56:59I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:00Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:05I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:09But that tongue action, though.
00:57:12Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:57:14Ellen, we are in public.
00:57:16That's true.
00:57:17Oh, stomach ache.
00:57:19Again?
00:57:20I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:21Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:25Devin's late.
00:57:27Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:31This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:36It's her.
00:57:37She's alone.
00:57:38With no one to save her.
00:57:42You whore.
00:57:43You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:57:46Let me tell you.
00:57:48I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:55Hey, you guys can fight all you want.
00:57:57But you need to take this somewhere else.
00:57:59Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:58:01Plus, why do I have to leave?
00:58:03She's the one starting shit.
00:58:05Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:07You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:10And my son just signed a contract with you.
00:58:12You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:14And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:18He still got the contract?
00:58:21Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:23Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:27Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:29Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:33Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:38You take my charity and toss it in my face.
00:58:41As if it's your own.
00:58:43My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:45$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:48$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:51$5,000 to beat her away.
00:58:57Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey!
00:58:59Ow! Here we go!
00:59:03You okay? Are you hurt?
00:59:05Are you hurt?
00:59:10Weakling.
00:59:11You! You! Just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:16And now you have two more?
00:59:18What a whore.
00:59:19What a whore.
00:59:21Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:24What if she has an STD?
00:59:26Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:30Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:33Hang on.
00:59:35What do you want?
00:59:36I'll scream!
00:59:38I don't hit women.
00:59:39But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:43But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:45I said I don't kill women.
00:59:48Oh, God. He is a murderer.
00:59:50What if he murders me?
00:59:52Not him. Definitely not him.
00:59:58We're not afraid of you.
01:00:00That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:00:02You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:07I was just messing with him.
01:00:09Was he, though?
01:00:10We're not afraid of you.
01:00:12Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:00:15Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:18She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:00:20Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:00:22I apologize for this scene.
01:00:24I'll toss out the party crashes immediately so that you can go to your celebration banquet.
01:00:28What did you say? You were going to toss out?
01:00:30Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:32The party crashes.
01:00:36You have any idea who that is?
01:00:38That's my wife.
01:00:40We saved that hangout from the real skank over there.
01:00:43That's right. Know your place.
01:00:45Shut up.
01:00:46She's cheating on you.
01:00:49Know your place. You're just a side piece, if I still want you, that is.
01:00:53Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:55This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:00:57Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter? You slap her for this whore?
01:01:00Mom!
01:01:02I really think there's something up.
01:01:04Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:08She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:11I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
01:01:15What?
01:01:17You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:23Uh...
01:01:27I'm sorry.
01:01:29No. This can't be.
01:01:32I made you divorce...
01:01:37Go home.
01:01:39You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:47I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:50Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:53I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:56I didn't come here for you.
01:01:59I'm on a date.
01:02:01A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:04She really is a whore.
01:02:06Angela, please forgive me.
01:02:08I really do love you.
01:02:12Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:16Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:20We already know you beat Ford's effort.
01:02:23We're too old for that.
01:02:25They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:27Please, you gave me the contract.
01:02:29So if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:33Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart. Join us.
01:02:35We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:39What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:41Where were you?
01:02:43Stomach issues.
01:02:45Again? Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:48No.
01:02:50Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:54I would rather die than be with you again.
01:02:58Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:02I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:03:04Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:03:06Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:03:08I'll prove it to you.
01:03:10You want a chance?
01:03:12Angela, no. You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:03:16Don't take him back.
01:03:18I'll give you two choices.
01:03:22I'll give you two choices.
01:03:26Me or the contract.
01:03:28You're kidding me.
01:03:30No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:32If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:36But you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:03:40The choice is all yours.
01:03:42I told you.
01:03:44Did you think so?
01:03:46He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:50Either way, he benefits.
01:03:52Why can't I have both?
01:03:54You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:56Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember? I deserve the contract.
01:04:00Did you really?
01:04:06Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:08He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:10He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:12What are you talking about?
01:04:14I choose the contract.
01:04:16I knew it.
01:04:18You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:20With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:24Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:28I will get you one day.
01:04:30Let me show you something.
01:04:40You saved me.
01:04:46You saved me.
01:04:48I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:04:54But I promise you, I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:00No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:05:02I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:06I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:16Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:20What? Me?
01:05:22Dr. Wilson losing at saving people? No way.
01:05:26You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:30You're crazy.
01:05:32And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:38What?
01:05:40Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:43Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:47Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:51I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:53Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:55I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:05:58No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:06:01You'd like me to punish them for you?
01:06:03Oh, God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:06:06Max, you know what to do.
01:06:22The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:24All business ties have been severed.
01:06:26We're bankrupt!
01:06:32How did you do that?
01:06:34Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man.
01:06:39I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:42I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:47I am Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:06:50What did he say he was?
01:06:52That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:55You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:06:57Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:07:00See? You are Number One at something.
01:07:02The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:05Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:07It's all about young money now.
01:07:09So, how about our date?
01:07:17I'm not letting anyone up me on this one.
01:07:19I'll spy too.
01:07:31They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:36I still have the $100 billion project.
01:07:40Yes! I'm rich!
01:07:43I can make them all pay soon.
01:07:51What?
01:07:52Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:54The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:07:58Otherwise, it's a breach of contract
01:08:00and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:03No!
01:08:05I'm bankrupt!
01:08:07I need to go to the law court.
01:08:09You tricked me!
01:08:16Allow me.
01:08:19I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:22I had to get some very important materials
01:08:26for our special date.
01:08:28Well, cheers.
01:08:30Cheers.
01:08:39This looks good.
01:08:45Did you use my spices?
01:08:48I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:52You can have all the money and power in the world
01:08:55and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:08:59Couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:05Angela.
01:09:08Your future with me
01:09:12is gonna be different.
01:09:14Come on.
01:09:16Upstairs.
01:09:21Come on.
01:09:35Wow.
01:09:37Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on
01:09:40these past few years
01:09:42just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:45Angela.
01:09:47I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:51I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:54That's right. I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:57How is all of this possible?
01:10:00I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:03Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:10:08I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:11You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:15Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:21Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:29All you do is babble on and on about Internet money,
01:10:33Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:10:36Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:40I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:44Hey! Get away from me!
01:10:46Angela!
01:10:48Feisty girl. I like her.
01:11:01How is he?
01:11:03It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:07All sugar, salt teeth.
01:11:09Can it be cured?
01:11:10I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:12It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:16Household salt.
01:11:24I like her.
01:11:27There you go.
01:11:29Time is up.
01:11:32Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:41I like her.
01:11:43We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:45So, that's how I, well, we all met.
01:11:51I barely remember.
01:11:53I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:55Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:00You wouldn't have known.
01:12:02I did hear you dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:04That makes you feel any better.
01:12:06Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:08Yeah.
01:12:09Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:11Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:12:21How can that be?
01:12:23Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:30Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:34Bankrupt?
01:12:36The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:12:39Well, then, get out of here.
01:12:42You can't do this to me.
01:12:46Jared.
01:12:47Mom, it's me.
01:12:48What happened?
01:12:50Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:53Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:55You should get back with your wife.
01:12:57We're bankrupt.
01:12:59What?
01:13:03Jared Cooper.
01:13:06We're here to propose to your belongings.
01:13:10No one is going to save you now.
01:13:17What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:23Who will you pick?
01:13:27I...
01:13:30I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:32Fried chicken?
01:13:33Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:36Yeah, he's right.
01:13:37I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:39Sucking up last minute.
01:13:41At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:43Hey, stop.
01:13:45Stop.
01:13:47Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:13:50I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:53I mean, Angela Lockhart, you know what I mean.
01:13:58You know what I mean.
01:14:00Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:14:03which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:14:07Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:11Cole, the general?
01:14:15Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:20Looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:24Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:28But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:14:31made from glass imported from Venice
01:14:33and give it to our winner, Angela.
01:14:39Angela.
01:14:40Oh, I...
01:14:44I need more time to think.
01:14:50While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:14:53why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:56Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:14:59Let's start with Cole.
01:15:01Cole.
01:15:05There's not much to say.
01:15:07Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:15:09who has huge biceps,
01:15:12a massive chest,
01:15:14who would protect their wife?
01:15:18Okay, thank you.
01:15:20Uh, Shane?
01:15:23Muscles, money,
01:15:26they'll only get you so far.
01:15:28But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:15:30that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:15:33if you know what I mean.
01:15:37Okay, I think we do.
01:15:39And Devin.
01:15:42That was quite disgusting.
01:15:46I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:48I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:15:51A lot of choices to make.
01:15:53And she's my queen.
01:15:55I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:57And one more thing.
01:15:59What kind of a doctor
01:16:01brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:04That's a good point.
01:16:05It's bad for her heart.
01:16:08And then you.
01:16:09Well, you know what they say about military men.
01:16:13They beat their wives.
01:16:17Enough!
01:16:19Stand up!
01:16:22Hey, you guys.
01:16:24Whoa, break it up!
01:16:26Hey!
01:16:27Break it up!
01:16:32Cut to commercial!
01:16:34Cut to commercial!
01:16:47Oh, my gosh.
01:16:54This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:16:59Who do I choose?
01:17:08Angela's marrying me.
01:17:10We're not stealing her from you.
01:17:12Oh, yeah?
01:17:13I may be a doctor,
01:17:15but like I said,
01:17:16I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:22What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:24Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:25I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:27I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:29Don't forget about me.
01:17:31It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:37These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:40They do not. They do not help.
01:17:42Who made these?
01:17:45Who?
01:18:02It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:07I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:10And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:18:16Move!
01:18:28We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:31Oh, yeah.
01:18:41This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:45I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:18:49Hmm. Wintermate or Coolmate?
01:18:56You know,
01:18:58I've always really liked your hair.
01:19:00Really?
01:19:02I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:05So I appreciate it.
01:19:07Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:09And you know, Cool, I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:13Really?
01:19:15Yeah.
01:19:18What do you got for me?
01:19:20I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:19:23Yeah?
01:19:24Yeah.
01:19:25That's fresh, right?
01:19:27Yeah, yeah.
01:19:29You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:32You need me to look at you?
01:19:34I'll take care of you.
01:19:36Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:40It was Jerry Cooper!
01:19:42That fucker!
01:19:44We have to find her.
01:19:45What, how?
01:19:46Her ring.
01:19:47Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:19:50Well, let's go then!
01:19:52My fiancée!
01:19:54My fiancée!
01:19:58Jerrod.
01:20:03What am I doing here?
01:20:05You destroyed me.
01:20:08And you took everything.
01:20:11What?
01:20:12Nothing left.
01:20:14It's not my fault.
01:20:16You're greedy.
01:20:18Is it greedy to have sex with my wife?
01:20:21What?
01:20:22I'm not your wife anymore!
01:20:24I'm not your wife anymore!
01:20:26Yeah, I know.
01:20:27You wouldn't take me back now, not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:30This is illegal!
01:20:31You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:34You won't have me arrested.
01:20:36You will take me back.
01:20:40Come here, bitch.
01:20:43I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:46Please, please, please.
01:20:53You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:20:57Hey!
01:20:59Angela!
01:21:00Come here!
01:21:04You're too late!
01:21:05I drugged her.
01:21:06She'll be dead soon and let's...
01:21:08Yet?
01:21:09Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:11He really does have everything he was called to.
01:21:13Everything except for fruit.
01:21:14Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:15We get it already.
01:21:16Just save my boss!
01:21:25You're all good now.
01:21:27Oh, thank God.
01:21:29But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:31What?
01:21:32What are you gonna do to me?
01:21:34Hey, stop!
01:21:35No, don't!
01:21:37Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:41No!
01:21:42No!
01:21:45Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:47Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:55So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:57We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:22:00The Prince of Bhutan.
01:22:02And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:11Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:13The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:15We're down to the wire.
01:22:17Literally.
01:22:18The wedding day.
01:22:19But who's the groom?
01:22:33Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:35The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:37But who's the groom?
01:22:41Uh, seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:22:46Any input from the parents?
01:22:48Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:51Oh, this is exciting.
01:22:53Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:56Let me think.
01:23:00I like the doctor.
01:23:02He's cute.
01:23:05But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:09And we can't forget about Devin Sterling,
01:23:11the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:13Isn't that right, Devin?
01:23:15Angela.
01:23:22You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:23:27And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:31But this was a really hard decision.
01:23:35And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:40And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:48I'm just kidding.
01:23:49I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:55Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:23:59I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:24:01They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:04So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:07Literally.
01:24:10Could it be the sexy and protective,
01:24:13general with a temper,
01:24:15Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:21Or the fun, wicked-minded,
01:24:24but kind of weird,
01:24:26Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:31And last but not least,
01:24:33could it be the richest man of them all,
01:24:36the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:24:38Mr. Devin Sterling?
01:24:43Gentlemen,
01:24:45it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:47As may the best man win.
01:24:50May the best man win.
01:24:53Drum roll, please.
01:25:04I'm gonna run around and desert you.
01:25:08Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:16I choose...
01:25:27I need a powerful, strong man who's willing to do anything to protect me.
01:25:33Who could resist those guys?
01:25:37Can I interest you in an FD, Ellen?
01:25:39Yeah, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:25:55Shane, it's you.
01:25:57I'm lovesick for you.
01:25:59You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:03It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:06Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:08I hope we can build together.
01:26:22It's always been you.
01:26:32I'll always love you.
01:26:36Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:39Ellen, Ellen, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:42Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:26:44I need fruit flavored gum for you.