Remember when Black Friday lasted a day instead of a whole week? #shorts #youtubeshorts #funny #blackfriday #shopping
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00:00Speaking of Christmas, I'm here to remind you to get a head start on all your trophy, tie, and toy buying
00:07by going out to our Black Friday sale.
00:10Black Friday is a day invented by us, the people who sell things,
00:14to lure you, the humans who buy them, away from your families
00:17on one of the only nationally recognized holiday weekends of the entire year
00:22by enticing you with marginal discounts on products that you can buy literally anytime you want on the Internet.
00:30Probably for an even better discount.
00:32But we spend millions of dollars on advertising to convince you that Black Friday is the only day you can buy any of these gift items
00:41as if we wouldn't immediately and wordlessly take your money on any other day of the year.
00:46We've made it our mission to convince you that all the smart shoppers do their holiday trophy collecting on Black Friday.
00:55We even turn it into a competition by arbitrarily limiting the time these great bargains will be available,
01:01which is enough to turn many of you into bloodthirsty Vikings,
01:05battering and trampling each other for the privilege of paying slightly less money for some toy or small appliance
01:12that you could have easily purchased months ago on your smartphone.
01:17This is a crockpot, a product you never think about that spends 364 days a year
01:22collecting dust on retail shelves across America.
01:26And on Black Friday, you can have one for just $20, which for all you know, could be a great deal.
01:32You don't know.
01:33You haven't priced crockpots recently because you don't want one.
01:37But there you go buying it anyway.
01:41Only a fool would pass this up.
01:43And you're not a fool, are you?
01:45Because there's nothing more important than rewarding your friends and family with prizes.
01:51That's why we've gradually started kicking off Black Friday earlier and earlier,
01:56to let you get the jump on all those other bargain hunters eager to go out and buy secret rewards for other people at 5 o'clock in the morning.
02:06Is 5 too late in the day for you?
02:08Worried all the good bargains will be gone by the time you get there?
02:11How about 4 a.m.? Or 3?
02:14Heck, we'll open our doors for you at midnight and make it seem like we're giving you an inside track to beat the crowd.
02:20And you want that.
02:22Because our ad has been specifically designed to induce anxiety in you by convincing you that everyone else is shopping earlier, faster, and smarter than you.
02:32At any rate, regardless of when you show up, you'll still be one person in an impossibly massive crowd of the most stressed people you will ever encounter,
02:42while being bombarded by all the bright arrows and signs telling you about the deals that we assure you are INSANE!
02:50It's altogether an overwhelming and unpleasant experience for everyone.