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00:00The following is a work of fiction.
00:02Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and unintentional.
00:31Ha ha ha!
00:34Here we go!
00:35Showtime!
00:38What is this den of madness?
00:40Are you Detective Pikachu?
00:43He does look like a Pokemon.
00:45Pika Pika!
00:48Konichi what?
00:50Get down!
00:56It's time, Shadow.
00:59Finally, we will have our revenge.
01:02But what good is a dastardly plot,
01:05if you can't conspire with family?
01:08There's two Eggman now?
01:10Double your villains, double your fun.
01:13Any last words?
01:16Uh, nice magic marble, real scary.
01:21That actually is real scary!
01:25Come here, Jack!
01:28Hey!
01:32Tom, Matty, we need your help on a super...
01:34Knuckles, do you mind?
01:36Oh, excuse me.
01:38Tom, Matty, we need your help on a super dangerous top secret mission.
01:41We're in.
01:43Are you ready?
01:45We were born ready.
01:49Alright, boys, try and keep up.
01:52Come on, granddaddy-o.
01:54We've got...
01:55dirt to do.
01:58With Shadow's power,
02:00we can rule humanity.
02:03When we're done, there won't be anything left to rule.
02:07That is dark.
02:10Somebody better call Google Maps.
02:13Life's all about the choices we make.
02:16Remember to listen to your heart.
02:17We're gonna make the right choice when it matters the most.
02:21One headshot to another.
02:22Who does your highlights?
02:23The more you talk,
02:24the harder I want to hit you.
02:28This ends now!
02:31Our destiny awaits.
02:35You were right about one thing.
02:38This ends now.
02:46It's not about the money.
02:53It's about the challenge.
02:54The challenge.
02:57Let's go, let's go!
02:59Can I get in?
03:01Can I get your head?
03:02And get out?
03:03We're clean, we're clean.
03:06Without anyone even knowing I was there.
03:12You and I are part of this weird symbiosis.
03:15You see, you only exist...
03:19because of me.
03:20Word is that they fired your ass.
03:24I'm broke and I'm sick of being a hunter.
03:28Your next job, I'm gonna do it with you.
03:30I want to meet these Panthers.
03:35We are to rob the World Diamond Center.
03:37The most secure building in continental Europe.
03:40The score is 800 million euros.
03:43So no more being sheriff for you.
03:48I tend to hurt people's feelings.
03:50They all fit right in.
03:54We will perform...
03:57a time descent...
04:00that will move us undetected...
04:02as the cameras cycle through.
04:05That's fucking involved.
04:06Three seconds to green light.
04:08Two, one.
04:11There are no dead zones.
04:13So we'll have to create one.
04:20You feeling it?
04:21Yeah, I'm feeling it.
04:24You gotta be fucking loaded.
04:28Isn't it enough?
04:29It'll never be enough.
04:34You stole something...
04:37that belongs to us.
04:41You stole diamonds from the Mafia?
04:43Like I fucking knew!
04:44Now what?
04:45Swim.
04:46I can't swim that far.
04:47I'm negatively buoyant.
04:48Don't you know David Goggins?
04:55Watch our six.
04:56Those are on police headlights.
05:05Can you lose them?
05:06I'm fucking trying.
05:07These dudes are drivers.
05:08Let's just shoot them.
05:13And the top goes gangster.
05:18I really went down.
05:19I ain't no killer.
05:21Make it right, or I'm dead.
05:25We'll be burying the electrodes in the memory centers
05:27in the temporal and parietal lobes.
05:32Breaking news in the brutal killing of Professor Joseph Weider.
05:35What's this about?
05:36You see what?
05:37Doctor says I gotta keep my mind active.
05:39Joseph Weider's murder.
05:41Doesn't make sense.
05:43What about Laura?
05:44She's got no address.
05:45No social media.
05:46Nothing.
05:47There was always people visiting the house.
05:51It's a bit strange.
05:53It's like everyone from Weider's life is now a ghost.
05:57What are you trying to say, Roy?
06:01If we've put away the wrong guy,
06:03this is a chance for us to make that right.
06:07Move on and forget about all this.
06:12People kill for a whole lot of different reasons.
06:23Rockman.
06:25Gear up.
06:26Great.
06:30Let's focus on the mission.
06:31Can we even call this a mission?
06:33We're gonna be on the ground for like 20 minutes.
06:35Do you take anything seriously?
06:37No.
06:45Push.
06:46Push.
06:49Push.
06:56We have multiple dead, multiple wounded.
06:58We need a medevac right now!
07:00They can't get us.
07:01We're in North Korea.
07:05So you're gonna have to get these people out of here?
07:07Sir, respectfully, I'm trained to analyze data, not this.
07:11Right now, you're the leader.
07:13So you gotta be that for them and for yourself.
07:17Don't let it end here.
07:21We are going deeper into North Korea.
07:25Following a guy who has no idea what he's doing.
07:31Don't.
07:33No matter how hard it gets,
07:35you stick your chest out.
07:37No, no, no, no, no.
07:38You keep your head up and you handle it.
07:41Is that supposed to be a pep talk?
07:42It's Tupac.
07:46She'll be safe with us.
07:49Rockman, behind us.
07:59You all seem pretty smart.
08:00Why'd you choose this?
08:03Where I come from, there just isn't a lot of options.
08:08Our country has given me so much and I wanted to give back.
08:13And I'm gonna do it.
08:23We're almost there.
08:25Contact front!
08:28Down!
08:34Let's go home.
08:39In 2120,
08:42Mother Earth
08:45is expecting.
08:58Here I am after 20 years of dating,
09:0033 years old, on the phone with a Lyft driver at 2am,
09:03trying to figure out if I'm standing on the northeast corner.
09:06Don't take this the wrong way,
09:07but you're choosing to suggest a much prettier woman?
09:10What the f-
09:12Hey, are you Ruby?
09:13Yes.
09:15Ruby.
09:17How'd you know?
09:18We have an appointment.
09:19Yes.
09:28My exes are dying.
09:30What the f-
09:31Three of your ex-boyfriends died.
09:32Sure, a few of my exes are dead.
09:38That's six.
09:39I think I have to warn them.
09:41I do too.
09:42I also think that.
09:43I was hoping you'd say that.
09:44Roll on some deodorant and we'll head out.
09:48Is this a prank?
09:49Your life is in danger.
09:50What?
09:51What?
09:52Jesus.
09:53I have a lot of questions.
09:54I wish I had more answers.
09:55I just don't.
09:57That was lovely.
09:58You're doing great right now.
09:59Yeah, thanks.
10:00That one felt good.
10:01Hey, can we maybe just start over?
10:07I need to figure out how to stop this because I like someone.
10:10Tuck it back in.
10:11You can't like someone right now because you could kill them.
10:16I will solve this.
10:17I know every girl now is obsessed with murder, but I started the trend.
10:22Are you wearing contour?
10:23I'm about to see all my exes.
10:25Just tell them they're dying.
10:26I don't think me looking like shit will soften the blow.
10:30A few years ago we met in a bar.
10:33Men are at war.
10:35And it's a man's world.
10:41But you are the only ship with the position to be able to carry out this mission.
10:49The president has authorized an alert status of DEFCON 3.
11:04That's just the thing.
11:05Sometimes I wish I didn't know.
11:07That's just the thing.
11:08Sometimes I wish I didn't know.
11:10Why?
11:14Because the truth hurts sometimes.
11:16I'm hearing music and tapping from outside the hall.
11:19I need to show you something.
11:21I know it's a real bad time for something unexpected to enter the field of play.
11:26It could be something else.
11:28New York.
11:29Boston.
11:30Washington.
11:32It just sounds like the world's going to hell.
11:34Are you okay?
11:37They're all gone.
11:38I've never heard anything like that before.
11:41What is that?
11:46Kill the men.
11:48Kill all the men.
11:50Steve?
11:51There's something else in the water.
11:55What the fuck is that?
11:57Fire!
12:07Fire!
12:10Do you remember when daddy used to tell you that story about three little pigs and the big bad wolf?
12:16Do you remember why the big bad wolf couldn't get in the house?
12:19Because it was made of bricks?
12:21Just like your house.
12:25Whatever happens tonight, remember it is my choice.
12:29I know.
12:30We have a nine hour window.
12:31Test and report our findings.
12:36Good luck tonight.
12:44The world ended.
12:46We got hit.
12:49America's just been attacked.
12:54But this...
12:55This is the story of how it began.
13:00Los Angeles has been struck by a bomb.
13:02What just happened?
13:03What just happened?
13:05It might be nuclear.
13:09I saw this.
13:11Saw what?
13:15We never come back.
13:18After today, our lives will never be the same.
13:23We have looting in Weisberg Panic.
13:25Hey!
13:26Daddy has a place for us to go.
13:28We'll be together.
13:29The city's on fire.
13:30The city's on fire.
13:31There's a guy.
13:32Been planning for the big one.
13:33Called a few months back.
13:34Needs security people.
13:39What is this place?
13:42Welcome to Homestead.
13:43Your guys have to learn how to farm.
13:46We grow our food.
13:48We raise our animals.
13:51Can you handle yourself with a gun?
13:54This might be the most prepared location in the Rockies.
13:57Everyone's got one end.
13:59And I mean everyone.
14:01My family's out here, and we're starving to death.
14:04I wish we could help, but we can't.
14:05You can or you won't.
14:07Our kids need us to be strong.
14:10Please.
14:12People are gonna die at this gate.
14:16They're trespassers.
14:17The Hills.
14:19They're stealing your grain.
14:20They've cut off your solar power.
14:22We need a world where people help each other.
14:25We need a world where people help strangers,
14:28not shoot at them.
14:32Sometimes we think we're doing the right thing,
14:34and then it all goes wrong.
14:41It's time for you to take full control.
14:42It's complicated.
14:44Do you think that you're above the law?
14:46Do you think that the rules aren't for you?
14:50Is this an ark, or is this a fortress?
14:56It's our home.
15:02This is my son.
15:04He's someone special.
15:05Please treat him well.
15:07Get him!
15:09It's better to die standing than live on your knees.
15:18And the results are in for the presidential election in Russia.
15:22Vladimir Putin has won with 53.44% of the votes.
15:27It's an embarrassing result.
15:29What would have been the satisfactory result, Mr. President?
15:34A hundred.
15:36Volodya, what will you do in this brave new world?
15:39I can work as a cabbie.
15:43What kind of driving is that, you idiot?
15:48She's my new wife.
15:49I am erasing you from the history books.
15:52We are living in strange times when we can stuff our faces with delicacies.
15:57But there's no toilet paper in Russia?
16:00Where did he get that?
16:03He forgot to ask what I want in return.
16:07Anyone who does not accept the deal must leave.
16:12Let's start this party!
16:16Ready.
16:17Set.
16:19Go.
16:22You'll be the most powerful man in the world.
16:26What's your strategy?
16:28Our plan is to bring him back to the stone age.
16:34How can his kingdom last?
16:50VOLODYA
17:00Ouch!
17:03I'm with Family Services.
17:04With Christmas in three weeks, we have very limited options.
17:07Okay, so what does that mean?
17:08Just look after them until I can find them a foster home.
17:11Hey, dudes. Uncle Michael.
17:14Remember me? Your mom's big brother.
17:16I'm here now to look after you.
17:18Get you guys hooked up with a family.
17:21I farted.
17:22He farted.
17:23Oh, come on.
17:24A little piece of poop.
17:25Ew!
17:27Where's your cell phone reception?
17:28Got no sticks, homie!
17:30You get service in the middle of the pond?
17:32Wait a minute! I got something! I got a bar!
17:37I want chicken.
17:38Fresh chicken.
17:39Oh, no. We're not going to do fresh chicken.
17:43I got it! I got it!
17:45I got it! I got it!
17:46We'll take it from here.
17:48That's Elizabeth!
17:52You said her name was Elizabeth?
17:54Delish-abeth.
17:58Act like normal children.
17:59I'm trying to find you a good home, okay?
18:01Everybody wants to be their mommies and daddies.
18:03Run, run, run!
18:04Come quick! The golf cart is driving itself!
18:13He's good.
18:15I saved him!
18:17I'm dealing with a lot right now.
18:18We're talking about four little kids who lost their parents.
18:21Do you think I look like my dad?
18:23Very much so.
18:24Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you guys doing up?
18:26Go back down. No, no, no. Go back downstairs.
18:28Guys, we're not doing this.
18:29I had a bad dream, too.
18:30Can you tell them we're not doing this?
18:35Those delinquents hot-wired a carnival ride the other night.
18:39You know, if you love somebody and they love you,
18:41that love doesn't go away.
18:43It stays with you.
18:48Maybe this place is growing on you.
18:54Time for school!
18:55All right, so what do you want me to teach you?
18:57Sex, sex, sex, sex.
18:59Tell me what you know already.
19:00It's like boys and the beast, but the beast takes a sting on the boy's butt.
19:05No, the boy and girl, like...
19:07It's when they get on top and then they bump it.
19:10Oh.
19:11And you pump it.
19:13Yeah.
19:31Professor!
19:32I think I found something.
19:34We've discovered a temple.
19:38It's an incantation against evil spirits.
19:40We can be famous!
19:44Where can I find this man?
19:47A European woman wanted to sell some pieces.
19:49You might be the only person who can help.
19:51You know where they are.
19:52An ancient sea god.
19:54Can you tell her that I'd like to meet with her?
19:57Doctor.
20:01Beautiful, mysterious.
20:05I'm quite drawn to you.
20:14What's that?
20:15Professor, you saw it?
20:16Whatever it was.
20:18Mermaids are beautiful creatures.
20:21They also lead unsuspecting men to their deaths.
20:29Forgive my suspicions.
20:31Suspicions?
20:32Are you accusing my new girlfriend of being a mermaid?
20:37Why would you be suspicious of me?
20:41Driven by curiosity.
20:46The world will be as it was.
20:48We have to stop her.
20:51The only way to stop the ancient evil, by sacrificing a human.
20:55You need to stop!
20:56Okay, you're losing it!
21:11Places, please.
21:15Places, please.
21:18This is your places call.
21:21For the final performance of the Razzle Dazzle.
21:28Me and Las Vegas used to treat us like movie stars.
21:34Costumes, sets.
21:38We were ambassadors.
21:39For style and grace.
21:44The Las Vegas showgirl.
21:52The iconic American showgirl.
21:58You have an act prepared?
22:00I do.
22:01I'm a dancer.
22:03Music?
22:05Yeah.
22:06I gave it to the maestro.
22:10Hold your cards close.
22:13Feeling seen.
22:15Feeling beautiful.
22:16That is powerful.
22:21And I can't imagine my life without it.
22:28Doing a job that you don't really love.
22:30That's hard.
22:32She's beautiful that way.
22:40I love you.
22:46Every Christmas, something magical happens.
22:49Dear Santa.
22:50When a kid sends a letter to Santa.
22:53But Liam...
22:54To Santa.
22:57Is a crappy speller.
23:03This looks like fun.
23:10That's putrid.
23:13What do you want?
23:14You summoned me.
23:15Not what I expected.
23:16What did you expect?
23:17In the movies, the reindeer usually have the antlers, not you.
23:22Kid, are you high?
23:25You lucked out big time, so I'm way better than Santa.
23:30You, my friend, are getting three wishes.
23:32You mean like a genie?
23:33They stole that from me.
23:35By the way, after you make your wishes, I'm taking your soul.
23:39What?
23:40You ain't never had a friend like me.
23:42Okay, that I may have stolen from Aladdin.
23:44Now we're even.
23:46Never trust a thought.
23:47You just gambled and lost.
23:48Nice to meet you.
23:49The pleasure was mine.