Sister Wives S9 Episode 13 - Give Up The Ghost
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00:00Previously on Sister Wives.
00:02I am engaged.
00:03Oh.
00:04Oh, my word, it's gorgeous.
00:10Is it weird?
00:11It's a little odd.
00:12Yeah.
00:13There's not enough time to, like,
00:17consider, like, anything that could go wrong.
00:21This situation sucks to hype.
00:24I've got this whole other side of the family
00:26that have decided that they're still a family.
00:29And we're out.
00:38Thanks for being cool.
00:40And this moment with Mary is me moving from the anger
00:44to just this moment of grief.
00:47Part of me was like, oh, what have I done?
00:51Maybe I did the wrong thing.
00:59I'm going to make it work.
01:01I am meeting a couple of really good friends at Lakai and I'm
01:31just super excited to see them. Andrea I have known for years I actually used to
01:42babysit her. Hillary and I are newer friends. When I first met her I felt very
01:47connected to her like I felt like that we could easily just be friends. Both of
01:55these ladies actually grew up in plural families. Hillary didn't ever embrace
02:01that for her but Andrea did. She had sister wives and then eventually left. I
02:08know that there is challenges. When it doesn't work out there's disappointment.
02:14It's hard when when you leave something that is so familiar to you and has been
02:22your life for so long. They are good people for me to hang out with and just
02:27kind of be able to have these really open and honest and raw conversations
02:31because they get it.
02:35So have you f***ed any men?
02:43Andrea just has to just jump right in with the question. I'm like well things
02:51are not going but thanks for asking. So how are you darling? I'm good. I'm good.
02:59Thank you guys for coming. Of course. Well if you'll bring me to Lakai I'll come. I'll bring you at
03:07any time. This is lovely. Thanks for the invite. This is kind of a six-month
03:11check-in of the end of my marriage and these ladies were with me. They were
03:15sitting out in the car when I went in and had the meeting when I had the
03:19spiritual release, the spiritual divorce. They were just there for my moral support.
03:24So where have you been at? Heroin. Yes. Okay. How was that move? I mean Cody helped
03:33me move. Really? It was what would have been our 33rd anniversary. It was like
03:39the day. Oh wow. Weird. Yeah but was he? Nice. Was he? Yeah. Okay. No ego?
03:50No let's be real. I mean this is Cody we're talking about. I know. I know. No I'm glad. You need to be
03:58able to have that friendship still so that you can move past it and be done
04:03with it. Now that the divorce is final I'm of the opinion that you go on and
04:10become the best version of yourself. Yeah. And not in a bitter screw you. Yeah. You
04:17ruined my life. Like this is like okay chapter two. I've learned some things. He
04:22said your life is not one that I want to insert myself into. So why didn't he
04:29excuse himself instead of waiting for you to pull the trigger? I don't know. I do. You do?
04:37Yeah he wanted you to have to do it and say that you did it. Can I just say though? Yes.
04:44Ever since he has married Robin for me he has wanted nobody else. Everyone thinks it
04:52but that is the minute he married her those two just I don't know. It's like he didn't really
05:02care for any of the others or you. She does not pull punches and she's she's honest. I agree with
05:14her. I think it was not something that I recognized for many many years. My attitude never
05:21changed when Robin and I got married. So anybody who tries to say that I favored Robin with time
05:26or anything like that is just going off of a recency bias. I think Robin and Cody are meant
05:35for each other. I think one day he'll he'll realize what he lost. I think so too. He'll miss you.
05:46Don't you think? I mean I think he's probably already started too. You think? I do. Yeah what's
05:54not to miss Mary? I would agree. You're an incredible human. I think you'll always be in his heart. I
06:00would agree. That's probably why he was crying. How is your relationship with Robin now? I mean
06:09I mean she and I were always good. Yeah. And now do I just be a friend with my ex-husband's
06:19wife? You know what I mean? That's what it is. It's just weird. It is weird. It's weird as I'll
06:24get out. I totally understand. You made the right choice. Be okay with being not okay right now.
06:31Yeah it's gonna take you a while. Well it's been six months. I know. Yeah give it like six more.
06:38Like minimum. Yeah. We were just kids when we got married and now I'm
06:4852. And hot. And what? What are you not saying right now? Yeah. What am I not saying? A sexy
06:54piece of ass and a really smart businesswoman. I am a really smart businesswoman. But you have
07:01room for people to be in your life too. Like you you really want someone that's going to say hey
07:06hey hey what you doing all the time. I would like that. I don't know I don't know how that would be.
07:14I know you haven't had that for so long. Somebody said to me recently think of it like
07:22bleach and ammonia where they're great separate but you put them together and it's toxic and it's
07:31gonna kill you. Okay but also that analogy doesn't even work because you have bleach and ammonia
07:38but then who are the other three wives? I'm sorry like a few more chemicals in there. It's not
07:46there's a there's a boiling pot right? Maybe the two of you together would have been you know when
07:52we have marriage counseling we have you know we figure some stuff out we have this ultimate
07:55communication this goal to find the end of it. He always said that the only reason why we lasted as
08:02long as we did was because of plural marriage. Sure if that's what he wants to think. He probably
08:08lasted longer because he didn't have to be around as much. It doesn't make sense there's a lot that
08:17doesn't make sense but I just go with it. I think that there's a way that Cody and I could have
08:26figured out our relationship and our marriage. About 13 years ago Cody and I came here. Oh I
08:34think it was for our anniversary. I remember saying to him I said how would you feel Cody if
08:39I was dating somebody else? Wouldn't you have these emotions of like
08:45jealousy or something? He's like that's just vulgar. Wait jealousy is vulgar or the idea of
08:51you dating someone else? The idea of me dating somebody else is vulgar but it's not vulgar for him to do it.
08:58If I were to be giving attention to another guy how would it make you feel?
09:12The vulgarity of the idea of you with two husbands or another lover
09:19um sickens me. Even in that moment at that anniversary Cody was making me feel like I was
09:27wrong for having the emotions of jealousy but that's a normal human emotion and it's okay to feel that.
09:37That's one of the big things that is taught is that you have to suffer in order to get to heaven
09:44and I don't believe that. Can we coin a term like the polygamist logic or the
09:53I don't think that there is such thing. The mental gymnastics that have to be
10:00yeah it's for real. They don't think about it. It's a thing.
10:05I feel like I'm being very open and honest in this conversation more than I have been in a while.
10:14Just try on everything because you don't know like what you actually like when you try it on.
10:23I think my mom wants something that is sexy. Her first wedding dress was not sexy and did not fit
10:31her well. I think there's a way that you can live plural marriage and everybody be okay.
10:37I don't know anyone happily married in polygamy.
10:44Hello beautiful. Oh my gosh. I'm going to get a wedding dress. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited.
11:02Sister. Sister. Daughter. Daughter. Daughter. Daughter. Sister. Mom. Sister. Sister. Daughter.
11:07Daughter. Daughter. Daughter. There you go. Amazing. Welcome everybody. I have an amazing group of ladies
11:12here. My little entourage is awesome. My mom's here. David's mom Evelyn. She's 93. She's amazing.
11:17She's absolutely amazing. I have daughters here. David's daughter's here. I have friends here.
11:22It's just a lovely, lovely group of ladies to help me pick out my dress.
11:26We're so excited to be here. Everybody come in. Come in. I know. I'm like do we want to
11:29get names? This is my mom. My mom Annie. Nice to meet you. She invited Maddie and I to come
11:35and we wouldn't have missed it. It was fun. So Maddie even flew in from North Carolina because
11:39we wanted to be there. It was important. We're excited you're here. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited
11:43to be here. This is so much. Is that nervous? Yeah. Everyone is. And is it your first time
11:48trying on dresses? Yes. I saved it for you. Oh my gosh. I love you. So when I married Cody,
11:53my mom and I picked out my dress. My mom made it for me. My mom made my wedding dress for me.
11:59She couldn't come to the wedding because it was a spiritual wedding in our church. You have to be
12:03a member of the church to come to the wedding services. So she wasn't able to come. So she
12:08had the dress there for me but she never saw me in it. So having my mom here is super important
12:13to me. Christine's first wedding dress, I mean it was very modest as was appropriate in our culture.
12:20When you marry into a plural family, of course you have a dress. You have everything that you
12:24want to have. It's very traditional, like to the wrist, to the floor, no low necklines. Like it's,
12:30they're kind of plain, kind of boring a lot of times. When Christine and I got married,
12:36she had a dress that was, I guess satin. I showed up for the wedding and it was kind of like,
12:42I've just shown up. I had a hard time getting work off for my own wedding because I couldn't
12:47tell my boss that I was getting married again. I had a wife. Actually I had two.
12:54We'll just have you kind of look and see what gives you good feelings. The fit is all different,
12:59sizes are all different, so don't worry about that. If you want to follow me to this side.
13:04So those are like, yeah, okay. I'm glad because that's the one I literally, that's the vision.
13:09Okay, because this was the one when you told me. That's the one. No, that's the vision. From Germany.
13:13That is exactly what I'm looking for. I'm going to tell you guys straight up, you guys can all pick
13:18out dresses for me to wear too. I'm fine with trying on whatever. I think my mom wants something
13:23that is sexy, but also something that is elegant and really fits her well. Her first wedding dress
13:32was not sexy, not elegant and did not fit her well. A little bit. I don't like that lace.
13:41If it fits. Oh, you two together. I don't know if this is good. Just try on everything because
13:48you don't know like what you'll actually like when you try it on. It feels fast, but I've moved on
13:54kind of. I just love that mom gets this experience and is doing all the things she wants to do.
14:01Oh God, yes, yes. A wedding dress is a big deal. It absolutely is. Picking the right one,
14:06finding the one that really works for you, makes you feel special and beautiful. It's a big day
14:13to get married. I'm here and I think it's really fun to be here because everybody's in a good mood
14:22and I actually am enjoying looking at the dresses. I think they're fun. You look at these,
14:26So should we get started? People can keep pulling dresses. We'll do like a lineup.
14:30She's gone through a lot of life changes and this is like something that she gets to wear
14:35that represents her for kind of the first time in her life, which is, it's just cool that we get to
14:40be a part of that. It just means the world to me that they're all just as excited to see me getting
14:45Friends like Andrew and Hilary are really good for me. Coming out of a plural marriage,
14:52talking and connecting with people who understand it, like is really key. I haven't talked to
14:59many people about it. Really? In my family. Why? I don't know.
15:04I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
15:09many people about it. Really? In my family. Why? I don't know. It just hasn't really come up.
15:17How's your divorce? How's your divorce going? I know, right? Yeah. What do you wish people
15:23would ask you about? I don't know. Because I think you would share. We shouldn't be hiding
15:28how we feel. Yeah. That's what that religion did to me anyways. It taught me how to
15:35be fearful of saying what I thought. What you thought and what you felt. Yeah. You had to
15:41protect everybody else. Yeah. And it's truth is truth. Yeah. You need to understand why you're
15:46feeling that way and move through it. Not fear it. I'm not good at expressing myself. Like it
15:55made me realize that I didn't know him enough. And that's probably why it didn't work out.
16:05I think there's a way that you can live a plural marriage and everybody be okay.
16:11You don't think that? You don't? I've never seen it work.
16:15Really? I don't know anyone happily married in polygamy.
16:19Maybe I'm just like wishful thinking. I mean, I didn't, I didn't marry a polygamous person.
16:31Right. But I grew up in it, right? Right. I mean, I was my grandpa's 85th grandchild.
16:35Really? Yes. And there were thousands more later. My dad had 13 kids. When you're trying to manage
16:41two marriages and 13 kids, and let's say three of them had bad dreams in one night and one of them
16:47is sick. And one of the wives has to go to work early in the morning, but you also have a job to
16:54do and you have to be gone at six. Like, I don't remember my dad ever having a full night's sleep.
17:00I'm not cynically looking at like, I have, I have yet to see a couple who's proved to me that
17:06loved it. Happy. Everyone's happy. And we really do want to spend eternity together.
17:14And yet. And all the wives. And yet, are there monogamist husband and wife that are
17:24completely happy all the time? I don't have to wonder if my husband loves sleeping with me more
17:30than someone else. I don't have to wonder if my husband's going to provide for a different wife
17:36more than me. There's so much survival that's not met that it's hard to find and connect with each
17:41other because you're constantly in survival. Survival isn't the way to happiness.
17:53If you're playing survival for your entire married life, I don't think you're going to be happy.
18:00It's a really weird perspective after
18:04just sending a 33 year marriage. Oh gosh, yeah. Of
18:11believing that this is.
18:15I mean, and honestly, I got to the point where I was like, okay, like we're here now. Can we just
18:21make our family work? You don't have the tools to allow that to happen. Yeah. Yeah. And it takes
18:32both. Clearly, Cody didn't want it to work. Yeah. So how can it work? Yeah, there's no way.
18:40I'm 52 years old. You have so much life to live. You know what I mean? Like I could have been like
18:4445. I know. You know what I mean? Or whatever. Like. It doesn't make it any easier though.
18:51And I think generally in religion, divorce is not something that's encouraged.
18:55There is this expectation that you have to be miserable and or in so much danger that,
19:03okay, I guess it's okay that you have a divorce. Part of you probably staying was,
19:08I don't know, did I do enough? Did I suffer enough? Did I give Cody unlimited chances?
19:14Yeah. And I even hear it now. Like you probably would do one more chance.
19:20There's a point where they don't deserve the chances.
19:27I'd love to see you get to the point where you're not
19:32redeclaring. I would have stayed. I'd love to see you get to the point where it's like,
19:37you know what? I loved my time with Cody and I love where I am now.
19:41That's a good point. That will feel freeing. Yeah. Okay. I will work on that. Okay.
19:53It was a good time with him. It was. And now we're done.
20:00Cheers to them.
20:07I feel so much like I'm moving forward. Eventually, I'm going to find a guy.
20:15And then who knows what after that? Who knows what will happen? I'll have to fill Andrea in
20:21on that one.
20:31Before I was even engaged, I immediately started looking at wedding dresses.
20:36Your vagina looks really nice. It looks like a vagina dress.
20:39McKelty will always say what everybody else is not wanting to say.
20:44Wow. I know, I felt the same way. I love it. You love it? I love it. You love it? I do love it.
20:54The dress is the most important thing that's important to me.
21:00There's so much I love. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.
21:09I do love it.
21:11The dress is the most important, as far as,
21:14besides David and I getting married.
21:17What I want is a deep plunge,
21:19and then I'm looking for an off-the-shoulder,
21:22but a sleeve, like a long sleeve,
21:26off-the-shoulder, and then
21:30more form-fitting for the dress,
21:34and then no veil, I don't like veils,
21:38and then, but long, long, somewhat flowy,
21:43but more form-fitting, long sleeve, deep plunge.
21:47It's really nice. I did tear up a little bit, it's true.
21:50Good, huh?
21:52I feel like a princess.
21:54I feel like this is a party, and it's all about me.
21:58It's a good start. It looks really good.
22:00Perfect.
22:01It's not it.
22:02No, I agree, but it's a great start.
22:04But it's fun to see you wearing a dress.
22:06I know.
22:07Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!
22:11Doing wedding stuff and doing wedding stuff with my mom
22:14is so fun, and I'm so glad that she's doing
22:16absolutely everything, as she should.
22:18Ooh!
22:22So I like the whole how it's not anything here.
22:26I have to work at my back more, which I'm like,
22:28good, I love it!
22:30Too bad David's not here.
22:32No, that's the vision, him not to be here.
22:35He's going to first see it at the altar so he can cry.
22:38Right? He's going to cry.
22:40Yeah, yes, he's going to cry.
22:42Ha ha ha!
22:44Oh, this is cute.
22:46Not as much?
22:48No.
22:49Well, we'd do a bunch of cutouts.
22:51Where?
22:52Boob down, it'd be all the way down to here.
22:55What about the sleeve?
22:56The sleeve would go.
22:57Everything that's constricting would go.
22:59I don't love it.
23:01You don't love it?
23:02See, so far it's my favorite.
23:03So far it's your favorite?
23:04The beading is wicked fun.
23:05I love the beading.
23:06It's fun.
23:07It looks like a bohemian wedding.
23:09She should get her dream wedding, she should get her dream dress,
23:12and she should have everyone she wants there during all of it.
23:16It's really special.
23:18It's fun to be a part of.
23:20Wow!
23:22Oh, wow!
23:23I like all the skin on that one.
23:25Me too.
23:27I like the bodice on it a lot.
23:31Really?
23:32You don't love it?
23:33I don't love it.
23:34Huh?
23:35You don't like it?
23:36Mm-mm.
23:37Stop picking out the small ones, please.
23:39I can't breathe.
23:41This is the one I wanted you to try on.
23:43Yes.
23:44Wow.
23:45No.
23:46No.
23:48No.
23:49Wow.
23:50Wow.
23:51That was the moment.
23:52It came off.
23:53I was like, clamp, clamp.
23:55Let me fix you.
23:57Your vagina looks really nice.
23:59It looks like a vagina dress.
24:02Leave it to McKelty.
24:04McKelty will always say what everybody else is not wanting to say.
24:08Yeah.
24:10Oh, that needs to go.
24:12We weren't sure where it was, but now we are.
24:15Oh, my gosh!
24:17Okay, I'm not wearing this dress.
24:20This is a little bit beyond my comfort level,
24:22and a little bit, a lot beyond.
24:24It's fun to go out of the, no, no.
24:27If it can be described just like that,
24:29I'm not wearing this dress.
24:30No.
24:31You're right, I wouldn't want that.
24:33But we'll do random flowers and not this.
24:37I think he can find it without that.
24:39Let's hope he can find it without that.
24:41He can.
24:42It's like an arrow.
24:43He's fine.
24:45He's fine.
24:46TMI.
24:47Extra.
24:49Woo!
24:51Oh!
24:53Woo-hoo!
24:55I don't think I've ever seen so much of you.
24:57I don't think I've ever seen so much of me either.
24:59Yeah, right?
25:00If you go this way a little bit.
25:02I love it.
25:03That is so flattering on you.
25:04It's beautiful.
25:05So what I really like is the deep plunge still,
25:08the sleeve, like a little bit of a sleeve,
25:10not a cap, not a big sleeve.
25:12And what I really love is a dirty background.
25:16I want a dark, dark, dark background,
25:18as dark as I can get.
25:20And then you put the white on top of it,
25:22so it's just going to shine through,
25:24so it's going to be sheer in some places,
25:27but then a lot of floral, lacy detail.
25:30So far, this is definitely the best.
25:32Agreed.
25:33Agreed.
25:34I actually didn't have a wedding dress.
25:37When Cody and I got married,
25:38my family was very upset with my decision to join the faith,
25:42so most of my family was not talking to me
25:45or associating with me.
25:46I had a green dress I wore.
25:48That was it.
25:49My mom was at the wedding because she came to save me
25:52and ended up marrying Cody's dad
25:53three months before we got married.
25:55So my mom was obviously okay with it,
25:57but the rest of my family was really not okay with it,
25:59so they didn't come.
26:01If I get married again,
26:02I'm probably not going to have a dress.
26:04I'm not going to do the big white dress.
26:06I mean, I'm probably, honestly,
26:08going to just get married on a mountain in my jeans somewhere.
26:14Yeah, this is pretty.
26:15I like that the lace continues all the way through.
26:18There's no stop.
26:19Yes, yes.
26:20I love this more than any of the others.
26:22Me too.
26:23Yeah, I love it.
26:24I love all of it.
26:25Because it's like everything you've been saying together.
26:28Boning, I love.
26:29This, I actually love.
26:31Yes.
26:32All of it.
26:33Yeah.
26:34This is the last dress.
26:35I haven't found my dress,
26:36but I found four pieces of a dress that I really like.
26:41So she's going to take those four pieces and combine them.
26:43Huh?
26:44Yeah, like a custom for her type of...
26:47Mom, what did you think?
26:49Did you like it?
26:50Other mom, Evelyn.
26:51She's talking to you.
26:52What do you think?
26:53Yeah, I like it.
26:54Yeah, yeah, me too.
26:55It's very pretty.
26:56It's my favorite.
26:57Janelle, is this weird for you?
26:59No, actually.
27:00No, actually, of all the dresses,
27:02this incorporates all the things you've been talking about.
27:04If you just add that little bit of a deeper plunge,
27:06I like the off-the-shoulder.
27:07Me too.
27:08Okay, good.
27:09Gorgeous!
27:10Yay!
27:11Steps forward.
27:14I didn't find the actual dress today,
27:18but what I found are bits and pieces,
27:20and she's just going to design one for me.
27:23The deep plunge in the middle,
27:25a sleeve a little bit off the shoulder.
27:27The background is going to be a mocha,
27:30but then it's going to have bits and pieces
27:32where it's just mesh.
27:33We'll be able to pick up the train,
27:35but not a long one, and no veil whatsoever.
27:38It's not going to have a waistline on it.
27:41It's just going to be Continuous Mermaid,
27:42is what it's called.
27:44We're on a pretty quick turnaround for Christine.
27:47Is it at least 45 days, maybe, turnaround?
27:50Fast. Faster.
27:51I hope we can design something she's obsessed with.
27:57I want to start dating guys who kind of believe the same thing
28:01and have the same, like, life goal as me.
28:04I know that they're interested in dating,
28:07but I'm like, hey, that's not,
28:08shouldn't be the reason why you're at a church.
28:12Mary just moved to Parowan.
28:14It's been a challenge for me.
28:16All right, so you guys are going to the store and to the park.
28:20We're going to the pizza place, I think.
28:22Okay.
28:23Now that Christine's moved on
28:25and I know that she's dating and stuff,
28:27it's just what it is.
28:28I have to just, um, I've had to just let it go.
28:32I'm sort of dealing with a little bit of identity issues,
28:36going, well, I don't know,
28:38dealing with a little bit of identity issues,
28:40going, where's my future?
28:42I disappeared.
28:43So I'm having to think about that a lot.
28:47Bye, you guys.
28:48Love you.
28:49Love you.
28:50This afternoon I'm leaving the house with Ariella and Solomon.
28:54They just need to get out of the house.
28:59Well, hopefully they have fun.
29:03Thank you for getting your dishes done, sweetie.
29:05You're welcome.
29:07Do you know how we were talking about
29:09joining a church and church things?
29:12Yeah, are you cool if I have Aurora come join us?
29:15Because she's kind of been saying the same thing to me,
29:17and I think we need to kind of just flush it all the way out.
29:20Aurora and Brianna kind of separately have been
29:23sort of talking little bits about,
29:25I miss church, it'd be nice to go.
29:27They both have expressed to me
29:29that they are really needing that in their lives.
29:33So Brianna's been talking to me about
29:35wanting to go to church too, like you have been.
29:38I just think since we're going through college
29:41and figuring out what we want to do with our lives career-wise
29:44and that sort of thing,
29:46if I want to be a part of a Christian community,
29:50I just really miss that.
29:52I've missed it too.
29:54It's been a long time since we've been to church
29:57just because we haven't had,
30:00there's no churches that believe the way that Dad and I,
30:04yeah, did, you know, or do.
30:06I really miss going to church.
30:10I was born into our church.
30:14When I was young, I went to a church school.
30:17It was something that was a part of my everyday life.
30:23I have been worrying like crazy
30:26about our kids not having that.
30:30When they were little, we went all the time.
30:33And then we went to Vegas, and we couldn't.
30:36And so we were trying to do it as a family,
30:38but it was never really that great.
30:41The Hebrews started struggling to maintain their culture.
30:46And the moms and I have talked a lot about how we've struggled
30:50to maintain our family culture.
30:52There isn't a branch of our church near Vegas.
30:55There isn't one here in Flagstaff.
30:58And so we haven't been going to church because of that.
31:03Cody has really intense feelings about our church.
31:09She's been really, really frustrated with me
31:13sort of withdrawing from the church that she grew up in.
31:17So are you kind of the same place?
31:19One thing that's kind of pushed me a little bit more towards it
31:23is the Buddhism class I took last semester.
31:27I wanted that to be a lot more a part of my life than it is.
31:32Yeah, like a spirituality, religion-type concept.
31:37Like have a community.
31:39I really want that in my life.
31:41I want to start dating guys who kind of believe the same thing
31:46and have the same life goal as me,
31:48so I think that would probably be a good place to start.
31:52Maybe some girlfriends or something,
31:55like some friends that think the same way, have the same goals.
32:00Yeah, I really want to connect in that way.
32:03I know that they're interested in dating a guy that has similar beliefs,
32:09but I'm like, hey, that shouldn't be the reason why you're at a church.
32:16I want them to focus on their spiritual journey
32:19more than anything at this point,
32:21and then that type of thing kind of has a tendency to fall into place.
32:27Aurora and Brianna kind of have, you know, traditional old-fashioned values.
32:32They're in college, both of them,
32:34so finding a guy to date that has similar values has been hard.
32:39They don't have any churches around here that live in plural marriage.
32:43I don't have the same call to it that you and Dad do and did.
32:50All right, so that's not, what about you, sweetie?
32:54I have conflicting thoughts, but right now I'm just,
32:57I don't think so, I'm not sure if I want to live that.
33:01What we've gone through in our family as far as everything falling apart,
33:05I feel like it's more because of the individuals
33:09rather than plural marriage itself.
33:13If Brianna got a testimony and felt like plural marriage was her choice
33:18and that's what she felt like was her path, I'd be like, okay.
33:22But if it's not, that's okay too, it's absolutely okay, I'll love it.
33:26I don't think any of my kids are going to live plural marriage.
33:29I could possibly see it if one of my daughters wanted to marry a married man.
33:36I don't think the experience they've had with our family
33:40would make them want to do that.
33:42So I really wouldn't care to have my daughters in plural marriage.
33:46I really don't think any of my sons are interested in plural marriage either.
33:50So do you think it's like an idea of where we do a little bit of church shopping or church?
33:57Yeah, I feel like that.
33:59Like sort of trying out and seeing which feels right?
34:04Yeah.
34:05There's lots of different types.
34:06Brianna's asking about just finding a church.
34:08This is going to be probably a big conversation
34:11because I don't know what church she's referring to
34:17and if she has something specific in mind.
34:19This is cool.
34:20I'm so excited.
34:22Are you really?
34:23Yeah.
34:24Okay, okay.
34:26I think that's one of my biggest goals as a mother
34:29is knowing that my children have a relationship with God.
34:33It's kind of what's getting me through everything and stuff like that.
34:36So I think this is good.
34:41I think it's good.
34:43So I'm nervous about this experience and I've got some anxieties and some withholdings
34:51and Robin keeps going, well, we need to do something.
34:54Man, I've been in a dark place a little while
34:56and so Robin's sitting here going, well, I'm going to start checking stuff out without you.
35:01I'm in a place in my life where I will remain the maverick
35:03because I don't want to wear the brand.
35:05But I do believe in Jesus.
35:12I like it.
35:13The frosting's a little too sweet for me.
35:15That's what we're going to do naked.
35:17I had no idea what a naked cake was.
35:19What did you think naked was?
35:21Somebody naked holding the cake.
35:23Or someone pop out of the cake naked.
35:26I have no idea.
35:27At this point, the only one of my sister-wives that's talking to me is Mary.
35:38I don't know really what's going on in Christine's life.
35:42I just hope she's finding happiness, that's all.
35:45I'm totally refusing to be curious about Christine
35:49because I have a wife that I want to work out my relationship with with enthusiasm
35:55and so it's almost kind of like an ignore thing.
35:58I'm not going to act interested, no way.
36:03The last thing she wants me is poking my nose around her business now.
36:12We're going cake testing.
36:13I remember going with my kids and it was so much fun to be with them while they picked out their cakes.
36:17But this is all about us, like David and I, and what we want.
36:21I'm just excited, just excited to try it.
36:25So we have German chocolate, red velvet, white chocolate with raspberry filling,
36:32cherry marble, and almond vanilla and carrot.
36:37I want something where you can taste the flavor of the cake.
36:40I love the cake itself, so we're looking for something like that.
36:45We don't want fondant, nothing with fondant.
36:47No.
36:48Christine, is he going to have a groom's cake?
36:52What if we just did boobs?
36:55That's for the bachelor party.
36:57I don't need to be jealous.
36:59I was jealous for years.
37:01What if it was your boobs?
37:03Truly?
37:04Truly.
37:05Wow.
37:06That is inappropriate.
37:08This is a cake testing and it's cake only and stop it.
37:12When Cody and I got married, we didn't have a cake.
37:14We didn't have a cake.
37:15It was a dinner.
37:16We just had a very, very simple dinner.
37:18But I didn't really involve Cody that much with the planning.
37:21He just said, do whatever you want to do.
37:23So I just felt like as a plural wife, we should just have something simple,
37:27just a dinner, and so there wasn't a cake or anything.
37:31Red velvet.
37:32This one's red velvet.
37:34Everyone just try it.
37:35Oh, just try it.
37:36It's all good.
37:37Babe, I get a lot of frosting though.
37:39No.
37:43So what would you rate this?
37:44A scale of one to ten?
37:46No, I can't do that.
37:47I'm going to go over and do all of them.
37:48No, no, you can do that.
37:49All right.
37:50I want to wait until I trace all of them and then I decide.
37:52I like it.
37:53The frosting's a little too sweet for me.
37:55That's why we're going to do it naked.
37:57I like.
37:58Did you just say we're doing it naked?
38:00What?
38:01What did you just say?
38:02Come on.
38:03My dear God, Mom.
38:04This is a question mark.
38:05You, that is, I can't believe that.
38:07Listen, I got it from somebody.
38:09I had no idea what a naked cake was.
38:11What did you think I was going to say?
38:12What did you think naked was?
38:13Somebody naked holding a cake.
38:15I have no, or someone pop out of the cake naked.
38:18I have no idea.
38:19You know?
38:21A naked cake is just partial frosting
38:23and the ones decorated with fresh flowers.
38:25Well, why don't we just call it a bear cake then?
38:27Why naked?
38:28There are bear cakes.
38:29No frosting at all.
38:30So you want a lingerie cake.
38:32A lingerie cake.
38:33That's even better.
38:34See, lingerie is partially dressed.
38:36That's what it should be called.
38:38It's a lingerie cake.
38:41Okay, so the next flavor we're going to try
38:43is the white chocolate with raspberry filling.
38:46And vanilla buttercream.
38:48I like this one better than the velvet one.
38:52Okay, next flavor, almond vanilla.
38:56Oh, I'm looking forward to that one.
38:58This is carrot cake cream cheese.
39:02Ooh, this is carrot cake.
39:04Oh, are you two going to smash?
39:06No, not at the wedding.
39:07No, no, no, no, don't do that.
39:09You know David's going to do it, Mom.
39:11You have to let him know you don't want to.
39:13No, I don't want to.
39:15She's going to do it to me.
39:16No, I'm not.
39:18You know, I don't understand the whole cake smashing.
39:20But that's for the young people.
39:21We're more older, more mature.
39:23We're mature.
39:24We're super mature.
39:26We're very, very, very mature.
39:31No, we're not.
39:34Oh my gosh, yes.
39:38It's cherry vanilla marble.
39:43Okay, last one is German chocolate.
39:45I want to lick also the plate, and I want to have yours too.
39:49They were all delicious.
39:50Every single one of those cakes was amazing.
39:52And I can't decide on two.
39:54I know we're supposed to pick two, but we had to pick three.
39:56They were amazing.
39:58So what are you guys going to do then?
40:00So what's the plan?
40:01Why don't we make a nice big one of the flavor you want, and then smaller ones?
40:09Why do traditional, three tier?
40:11Okay.
40:12Just do a big one, then have the small ones.
40:15Why don't we just do three big ones?
40:17Yeah.
40:18David and I chose three cakes, because we couldn't narrow it down.
40:21No, David, he makes everything easy.
40:24He's like, why pick?
40:26Let's just have all of them if we want.
40:29Isn't that great?
40:31Three large cakes the same size.
40:34What is your decision on the three you want?
40:36German chocolate, the vanilla almond, and then we want to do a carrot cake with that cream cheese frosting.
40:42And then we want them naked, though, for sure, all of them, just naked.
40:45I found out with this whole wedding process and planning process, I'm a lot more independent than I thought I was.
40:51Because I'll be like, oh yeah, I guess I should ask David, I guess I should ask David.
40:54Because I got so used to not involving Cody.
40:57But there were some things that were just too complicated with Cody.
41:00Good job.
41:04Thank you, guys.
41:05You're welcome.
41:10When Christine left, she told her children, our children, and even some of Janelle's children,
41:17Dad has a soulmate, that's Robin.
41:21I want to be free to go find my soulmate.
41:26When she first told everybody that, that pissed me off.
41:30But as time has gone on, they're gone.
41:34I'm out of this relationship with these other wives.
41:36I'm like way more inclined to accept that.
41:45Next time on Sister Wives.
41:47We're going to have an engagement party.
41:53She's been engaged for two seconds.
41:55She's been dating him for ten seconds.
42:01And what happened to you at that time?
42:05I just want to know.
42:06You like hearing this, don't you?
42:08I want to know that God has been my wingman with you and that nobody can take you away.
42:13I trust God enough to lead us where we should go.
42:16And I said, Cody, you have no interest in having a relationship with me.
42:23It's like, no, you said you didn't want to be married to me, so why should I stick around for another ten years?
42:28Dumbass.