Sister Wives S9 Episode 13 - Give Up The Ghost
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00:00Previously on Sister Wives.
00:02I am engaged.
00:03Oh.
00:04Oh, my word, it's gorgeous.
00:10Is it weird?
00:11It's a little odd.
00:12Yeah.
00:13There's not enough time to, like,
00:17consider, like, anything that could go wrong.
00:21This situation sucks to hype.
00:24I've got this whole other side of the family
00:26that have decided that they're still a family.
00:29And we're out.
00:38Thanks for being cool.
00:41And this moment with Mary is me moving from the anger
00:44to just this moment of grief.
00:48Part of me was like, oh, what have I done?
00:51Maybe I did the wrong thing.
00:59I am meeting a couple of really good friends.
01:29At Lakai.
01:30And I'm just super excited to see them.
01:39Andrea, I have known for years.
01:41I actually used to babysit her.
01:43Hillary and I are newer friends.
01:45When I first met her, I felt very connected to her.
01:48Like, I felt like that we could easily just be friends.
01:54Both of these ladies actually grew up in plural families.
01:58Hillary didn't ever embrace that for her.
02:02But Andrea did.
02:03She had sister wives and then eventually left.
02:09I know that there is challenges.
02:11When it doesn't work out, there's disappointment.
02:15It's hard when you leave something
02:18that is so familiar to you and has been your life for so long.
02:24They are good people for me to hang out with and just kind
02:28of be able to have these really open and honest
02:30and raw conversations, because they get it.
02:36So have you fucked any men?
02:37What?
02:38I don't know.
02:44Andrea just has to just jump right in with the question.
02:49But I'm like, well, things are not going.
02:52But thanks for asking.
02:55So how are you, darling?
02:57I'm good.
02:58I'm good.
02:59Thank you guys for coming.
03:00Of course.
03:01Well, if you'll bring me to the kayak, I'll come.
03:05I'll bring you at any time.
03:07Oh, this is lovely.
03:07Thanks for the invite.
03:09This is kind of a six-month check-in
03:11of the end of my marriage.
03:12And these ladies were with me.
03:14They were sitting out in the car when
03:15I went in and had the meeting, when
03:17I had the spiritual release, the spiritual divorce.
03:21They were just there for my moral support.
03:23So where have you been at?
03:25You're in?
03:26Heroin.
03:27Yes.
03:28OK.
03:28How was that move?
03:30I mean, Cody helped me move.
03:32Really?
03:34It was what would have been our 33rd anniversary.
03:37On that day.
03:38It was, like, the day.
03:40Oh, wow.
03:41Weird.
03:42Yeah?
03:43But was he?
03:43Nice.
03:44Was he?
03:45Yeah.
03:46OK.
03:47No ego?
03:48I teased.
03:49No, let's be real.
03:53I mean, this is Cody we're talking about.
03:55I know.
03:56I know.
03:56No, I'm glad.
03:58You need to be able to have that friendship still so that you
04:01can move past it and be done with it.
04:04Now that the divorce is final, I'm of the opinion
04:08that you go on and become the best version of yourself.
04:12Yeah.
04:13And not in a bitter, screw you, you ruined my life.
04:18Like, this is like, OK, chapter two.
04:20I've learned some things.
04:21He said, your life is not one that I
04:24want to insert myself into.
04:26So why didn't he excuse himself instead of waiting
04:32for you to pull the trigger?
04:33I don't know.
04:35I do.
04:36You do?
04:37Yeah.
04:38He wanted you to have to do it and say that you did it.
04:42Can I just say, though?
04:43Yes.
04:44Ever since he has married Robin, for me,
04:47he has wanted nobody else.
04:50Everyone thinks it.
04:52But that is the minute he married her, those two just,
04:59I don't know.
05:00It's like he didn't really care for any of the others or you.
05:08She does not pull punches, and she's honest.
05:14I agree with her.
05:15I think it was not something that I recognized
05:18for many, many years.
05:20My attitude never changed when Robin and I got married.
05:23So anybody who tries to say that I favored Robin with time
05:26or anything like that is just going off of a recency bias.
05:32I think Robin and Cody are meant for each other.
05:38I think one day he'll realize what he lost.
05:42I think so, too.
05:45He'll miss you.
05:45Yeah.
05:48Don't you think?
05:51I mean, I think he's probably already started, too.
05:53You think?
05:53I do, yeah.
05:55What's not to miss, Mary?
05:57I would agree.
05:58You're an incredible human.
05:59I think you'll always be in his heart.
06:01I would agree.
06:04That's probably why he was crying.
06:07How is your relationship with Robin now?
06:10I mean, she and I were always good.
06:12Yeah.
06:14And now, do I just be a friend with my ex-husband's wife?
06:20You know what I mean?
06:21That's what it is.
06:22It's just weird.
06:23It is weird.
06:24It's weird as all get out.
06:25I totally understand.
06:26You made the right choice.
06:28Be OK with being not OK right now.
06:31Yeah.
06:32It's going to take you a while.
06:33Well, it's been six months.
06:35I know.
06:36Yeah, give it, like, six more.
06:38Like, minimum.
06:39Yeah.
06:40Yeah.
06:41We were just kids when we got married.
06:45And now I'm 52.
06:50And hot.
06:51And what?
06:52What are you not saying right now?
06:53Yeah.
06:54What am I not saying?
06:55A sexy piece of ass and a really smart businesswoman.
06:57I am a really smart businesswoman.
07:00But you have room for people to be in your life, too.
07:03Like, you really want someone that's going to say, hey.
07:06Hey, hey, hey.
07:07What you doing?
07:08All the time.
07:10I would like that.
07:11I don't know.
07:12I don't know how that would be.
07:14I know.
07:15You haven't had that for so long.
07:18Somebody said to me recently, think
07:20of it like bleach and ammonia, where
07:25they're great separate.
07:29But you put them together, and it's toxic,
07:31and it's going to kill you.
07:33OK, but also, that analogy doesn't
07:35even work because you have bleach and ammonia.
07:38But then who are the other three wives?
07:40Like, I'm sorry.
07:42Like, you put a few more chemicals in there.
07:45It's not.
07:46There's a boiling pot, right?
07:48Right.
07:49Maybe the two of you together would
07:51have been, you know, when we have marriage counseling,
07:53we have, you know, we figure some stuff out.
07:55We have this ultimate communication,
07:56this goal to find the end of it.
07:58He always said that the only reason
08:01why we lasted as long as we did was because of plural marriage.
08:05Sure, if that's what he wants to think.
08:08He probably lasted longer because he didn't
08:10have to be around as much.
08:16It doesn't make sense.
08:17There's a lot that doesn't make sense, but I just go with it.
08:24I think that there is a way that Cody and I could have figured
08:26out our relationship and our marriage.
08:29About 13 years ago, Cody and I came here.
08:33Oh.
08:34I think it was for our anniversary.
08:36I remember saying to him, I said,
08:37how would you feel, Cody, if I was dating somebody else?
08:45Wouldn't you have these emotions of, like, jealousy
08:48or something?
08:49He's like, that's just vulgar.
08:50Wait, jealousy is vulgar?
08:52Or the idea of you dating someone else is vulgar?
08:55The idea of me dating somebody else is vulgar,
08:58but it's not vulgar for him to do it.
09:00If I were to be giving attention to another guy,
09:08how would it make you feel?
09:11The vulgarity of the idea of you with two husbands
09:17or another lover sickens me.
09:21Even in that moment at that anniversary,
09:25Cody was making me feel like I was wrong for having
09:29the emotions of jealousy.
09:30But that's a normal human emotion,
09:32and it's OK to feel that.
09:37That's one of the big things that is taught,
09:40is that you have to suffer in order to get to heaven.
09:44And I don't believe that.
09:48Anyway.
09:49Can we coin a term like the polygamist logic or the?
09:53I don't think that there is such thing.
09:55Mental gymnastics that has to be.
10:00Yeah, it's for real.
10:02They don't think about it.
10:03It's a thing.
10:05I feel like I'm being very open and honest in this conversation,
10:09more than I have been in a while.
10:19Just try on everything, because you don't know,
10:21like, what you'll actually like when you try it on.
10:23I think my mom wants something that is sexy.
10:26Her first wedding dress was not sexy
10:30and did not fit her well.
10:31I think there is a way that you can live plural marriage
10:34and everybody be OK.
10:37I don't know anyone happily married in polygamy.
10:40I'm going to get a wedding dress.
11:00Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
11:02Sister, sister, daughter, daughter, daughter,
11:04daughter, sister, mom, sister, sister, daughter,
11:07daughter, daughter.
11:08Amazing.
11:09Welcome, everybody.
11:10I have an amazing group of ladies here.
11:12My little entourage is awesome.
11:13My mom's here.
11:15David's mom, Evelyn, she's 93.
11:17She's amazing.
11:17She's absolutely amazing.
11:19I have daughters here.
11:20David's daughter's here.
11:21I have friends here.
11:22It's just a lovely, lovely group of ladies
11:24to help me pick out my dress.
11:26We're so excited you're here.
11:27Everybody come in, come in, come in.
11:28I know, I'm like, do we want to get names?
11:29This is my mom, my mommy Annie.
11:31Nice to meet you.
11:33She invited Maddie and I to come,
11:35and we wouldn't have missed it.
11:36It was fun.
11:37So Maddie even flew in from North Carolina
11:39because we wanted to be there.
11:40It was important.
11:41We're excited you're here.
11:42Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here.
11:43This is so much.
11:45Is that nervous?
11:46Yeah, everyone is.
11:47And is it your first time trying on dresses?
11:48Yes, I saved it for you.
11:50Oh my gosh, I love you.
11:52So when I married Cody, my mom and I picked out my dress.
11:56My mom made it for me.
11:57My mom made my wedding dress for me.
11:59She couldn't come to the wedding because it
12:01was a spiritual wedding.
12:02In our church, you have to be a member of the church
12:04to come to the wedding services.
12:06So she wasn't able to come.
12:08So she had the dress there for me,
12:10but she never saw me in it.
12:11So having my mom here is super important to me.
12:14Christine's first wedding dress, I mean,
12:17it was very modest, as was appropriate in our culture.
12:20When you marry into a plural family,
12:22of course you have a dress.
12:23You have everything that you want to have.
12:25It's very traditional, like to the wrist,
12:27to the floor, no low necklines.
12:30Like it's, they're kind of plain,
12:32kind of boring a lot of times.
12:34When Christine and I got married,
12:36she had a dress that was, I guess, satin.
12:39I showed up for the wedding, and it was kind of like,
12:42I just showed up.
12:43I had a hard time getting work off for my own wedding
12:47because I couldn't tell my boss that I
12:49was getting married again.
12:51I had a wife.
12:52Actually, I had two.
12:54We'll just have you kind of look and see
12:56what gives you good feelings.
12:57The fit is all different.
12:59Sizes are all different, so don't worry about that.
13:01If you want to follow me to this side.
13:04So those are like, yeah.
13:06Okay, I'm glad because that's the one I literally.
13:09That's the vision.
13:09Okay, because this was the one when you told me.
13:11That's the one.
13:12From Germany.
13:13That is exactly what I'm looking for.
13:15I'm going to tell you guys straight up,
13:18you guys can all pick out dresses for me to wear too.
13:20I'm fine with trying on whatever.
13:21I think my mom wants something that is sexy,
13:25but also something that is elegant
13:28and really fits her well.
13:31Her first wedding dress was not sexy,
13:34not elegant, and did not fit her well.
13:36I don't like that lace.
13:40If it fits.
13:42Oh, you two together.
13:45I don't know if this is good.
13:47Just try on everything because you don't know
13:49like what you'll actually like when you try it on.
13:51It feels fast, but I've moved on kind of.
13:54I just love that mom gets this experience
13:58and is doing all the things she wants to do.
14:00Oh, God, yes, yes.
14:03A wedding dress is a big deal.
14:05It absolutely is.
14:06Picking the right one, finding the one
14:08that really works for you,
14:10makes you feel special and beautiful.
14:13It's a big day to get married.
14:15I'm here and I think it's really fun to be here
14:22because everybody's in a good mood
14:23and I actually am enjoying looking at the dresses.
14:25I think they're fun.
14:26You look at these, Graham.
14:27So should we get started?
14:30People can keep pulling dresses.
14:32We'll do like a lineup.
14:33She's gone through a lot of life changes
14:36and this is like something that she gets to wear
14:38that represents her for kind of the first time in her life,
14:41which is, it's just cool that we get to be a part of that.
14:44It just means the world to me that they're all
14:46just as excited to see me getting married.
14:55Friends like Andrew and Hillary are really good for me.
14:58Coming out of a plural marriage,
15:01talking and connecting with people who understand it,
15:06like, is really key.
15:08I haven't talked to many people about it.
15:11Really?
15:11In my family.
15:12Why?
15:14I don't know.
15:15It just hasn't really come up.
15:17How's your divorce?
15:19How's your divorce going?
15:20I know, right?
15:21Yeah.
15:22What do you wish people would ask you about?
15:24I don't know.
15:25Because I think you would share.
15:27We shouldn't be hiding how we feel.
15:30That's what that religion did to me anyways.
15:33It taught me how to be fearful of saying what I thought.
15:39What you thought and what you felt.
15:41You had to protect everybody else.
15:43And it's truth is truth.
15:45You need to understand why you're feeling that way
15:48and move through it, not fear it.
15:53I'm not good at expressing myself.
15:55It made me realize that I didn't know him enough.
16:02And that's probably why it didn't work out.
16:05I think there's a way that you can live a plural marriage
16:08and everybody be OK.
16:11You don't think that?
16:13You don't?
16:13I've never seen it work.
16:15Really?
16:16I don't know anyone happily married in polygamy.
16:20Maybe I'm just, like, wishful thinking.
16:23I mean, I didn't marry a polygamous person.
16:27Right.
16:28But I grew up in it, right?
16:29Right.
16:30I mean, I was my grandpa's 85th grandchild.
16:32Really?
16:33Yes, and there were thousands more later.
16:35My dad had 13 kids.
16:37When you're trying to manage two marriages and 13 kids,
16:41and let's say three of them had bad dreams in one night
16:44and let's say three of them had bad dreams in one night
16:47and one of them is sick, and one of the wives
16:50has to go to work early in the morning,
16:52but you also have a job to do.
16:54And you have to be gone at 6.
16:57Like, I don't remember my dad ever having a full night's
16:59sleep.
17:00I'm not cynically looking.
17:02Like, I have yet to see a couple who's
17:04proved to me that loved it, happy.
17:07Everyone's happy.
17:09And we really do want to spend eternity together.
17:14And yet.
17:15And all the wives.
17:16And yet, are there monogamist husband and wife
17:23that are completely happy all the time?
17:26I don't have to wonder if my husband loves sleeping
17:29with me more than someone else.
17:32I don't have to wonder if my husband's
17:34going to provide for a different wife more than me.
17:37There's so much survival that's not
17:39met that it's hard to find and connect with each other
17:41because you're constantly in survival.
17:47Survival isn't the way to happiness.
17:53If you're playing survival for your entire married life,
17:56I don't think you're going to be happy.
18:01It's a really weird perspective after just
18:05sending a 33-year marriage.
18:08Oh, gosh, yeah.
18:09Of believing that this is.
18:16I mean, and honestly, I got to the point
18:19where I was like, OK, like, we're here now.
18:21Can we just make our family work?
18:23You don't have the tools to allow that to happen.
18:29Yeah.
18:30Yeah.
18:31And it takes both.
18:33Clearly, Cody didn't want it to work.
18:36Yeah.
18:37So how can it work?
18:38Yeah, there's no way.
18:40I'm 52 years old.
18:42You have so much life to live.
18:43You know what I mean?
18:44Like, I could have been like 45.
18:45I know.
18:46You know what I mean?
18:47Or whatever.
18:48Like.
18:48It doesn't make it any easier, though.
18:51And I think generally in religion,
18:52divorce is not something that's encouraged.
18:55There is this expectation that you have to be miserable
19:00and or in so much danger that, OK, I guess it's
19:04OK that you have a divorce.
19:06Part of you probably staying was, I don't know.
19:08Did I do enough?
19:09Did I suffer enough?
19:11Did I give Cody unlimited chances?
19:14Yeah.
19:16And I even hear it now.
19:18Like, you probably would do one more chance.
19:20There's a point where they don't deserve the chances.
19:27I'd love to see you get to the point
19:29where you're not re-declaring, I would have stayed.
19:36I'd love to see you get to the point where it's like,
19:37you know what?
19:38I loved my time with Cody, and I love where I am now.
19:46That's a good point.
19:47That will feel freeing.
19:48Yeah.
19:52OK, I will work on that.
19:54OK.
19:55It was a good time with him.
19:57It was.
20:01And now we're done.
20:04Ah, cheers to them.
20:05Cheers.
20:12I feel so much like I'm moving forward.
20:15Eventually, I'm going to find a guy.
20:17Eventually, I'm going to find a guy.
20:22And then who knows what after that?
20:26Who knows what will happen?
20:27I'll have to fill Andrea in on that one.
20:39Before I was even engaged, I immediately started
20:41looking at wedding dresses.
20:43Your vagina looks really nice.
20:45It looks like a vagina dress.
20:47McKelvey will always say what everybody
20:49else is not wanting to say.
21:00Oh my gosh.
21:01Wow.
21:03I know.
21:04I felt the same way.
21:05I love it.
21:06You love it?
21:07I love it.
21:08You love it?
21:10I do love it.
21:11The dress is the most important as far as besides David
21:16and I getting married.
21:17What I want is a deep plunge.
21:20And then I'm looking for an off-the-shoulder,
21:23but a sleeve, like a long sleeve, off-the-shoulder.
21:28And then more form-fitting for the dress.
21:34And then no veil.
21:36I don't like veils.
21:38And then, but long.
21:40Long, somewhat flowy, but more form-fitting,
21:45long sleeve, deep plunge.
21:47It's really nice.
21:48I did tear up a little bit.
21:49It's true.
21:51Good, huh?
21:52I feel like a princess.
21:54I feel like this is a party, and it's all about me.
21:58It's a good start.
21:59It looks really good.
22:00Perfect.
22:01It's not it.
22:02No, I agree, but it's a great start.
22:04But it's fun to see you wearing a dress.
22:06I know.
22:07Take it off.
22:09Take it off.
22:10Take it off.
22:11Doing wedding stuff and doing wedding stuff with my mom
22:14is so fun.
22:15And I'm so glad that she's doing absolutely
22:17everything, as she should.
22:19Oh!
22:20Woo!
22:22So I like the whole how it's not anything here.
22:26I have to work at my back more.
22:27Really?
22:28I'm like, good, I love it!
22:31Too bad David's not here.
22:33No, that's the vision, him not to be here.
22:36He's going to first see it at the altar so he can cry, right?
22:39He's going to cry.
22:40Yeah, yes.
22:41He's going to cry.
22:44Oh, this is cute.
22:47Not as much?
22:48No.
22:49Well, we'd do a bunch of cutouts.
22:50Where?
22:51What about boob?
22:52Boob down, it'd be all the way down to here.
22:55What about the sleeve?
22:56The sleeve would go.
22:57Everything that's constricting would go.
23:00I don't love it.
23:01You don't love it?
23:02See, so far it's my favorite.
23:03So far it's your favorite?
23:04The beading is wicked fun.
23:06I love the beading.
23:06It's fun.
23:07It looks like a bohemian wedding.
23:09She should get her dream wedding,
23:11she should get her dream dress, and she
23:14should have everyone she wants there during all of it.
23:17It's really special.
23:18It's fun to be a part of.
23:20Wow.
23:22Oh, wow.
23:23I like all the skin on that one.
23:25Me too.
23:28I like the bodice on it a lot.
23:31Really?
23:32Oh.
23:33You don't love it?
23:34Huh?
23:35You don't like it?
23:36Mm-mm.
23:37Stop picking out the small ones, please.
23:39I can't breathe.
23:41This is the one I wanted you to try on.
23:43Yes.
23:44Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.
23:44Wow.
23:45No.
23:46No.
23:48No.
23:49Wow.
23:50That was lit.
23:52That came off.
23:53That is just like you.
23:54Lay out.
23:55Lay out.
23:56Let me fix you.
23:57Your vagina looks really nice.
23:59It looks like a vagina dress.
24:00Yeah.
24:01Vagina lace.
24:03Leave it to McKelty.
24:04McKelty will always say what everybody else
24:06is not wanting to say.
24:10Yeah.
24:11Oh, that needs to go.
24:12It's really nice.
24:13That can go.
24:13We weren't sure where it was, but now we are.
24:15Oh, my gosh.
24:18OK.
24:19I'm not wearing this dress.
24:20This is a little bit beyond my comfort level
24:23and a little bit, a lot beyond.
24:24It's fun to go out of the, no.
24:26No.
24:27If it can be described just like that,
24:29I am not wearing this dress.
24:30No.
24:31You're right.
24:32I wouldn't want that.
24:33But we'll do random flowers.
24:36And not this.
24:37What?
24:38Maybe he can find it without that.
24:40Let's hope he can find it without that.
24:41He can.
24:42It's like an arrow.
24:43He's fine.
24:45He's fine.
24:46TMI.
24:48Extra.
24:49Hello.
24:49Woo!
24:50Woo!
24:51Whoa!
24:52Ah!
24:53Woo!
24:53Woo!
24:56I don't think I've ever seen so much of you.
24:57I don't think I've ever seen half so much of me either.
24:59Yeah, right?
25:01If you go this way a little bit.
25:02I love it.
25:03That is so flattering on you.
25:04It's beautiful.
25:05So what I really like is the deep plunge still,
25:09the sleeve, like a little bit of a sleeve,
25:11not a cap, not a big sleeve.
25:13And what I really love is a dirty background.
25:16I want a dark, dark, dark background,
25:19as dark as I can get.
25:20And then you put the white on top of it.
25:23So it's just going to shine through and share.
25:25It's going to share in some places.
25:27But then a lot of floral, lacy detail.
25:30So far, this is definitely my favorite.
25:32Yeah.
25:32Agreed.
25:33Agreed.
25:34I actually didn't have a wedding dress.
25:37When Cody and I got married, my family
25:39was very upset with my decision to join the faith.
25:42So most of my family was not talking to me
25:45or associating with me.
25:46I had a green dress I wore.
25:48That was it.
25:49My mom was at the wedding because she
25:51came to save me from the polygamous
25:52and ended up marrying Cody's dad three months
25:54before we got married.
25:56So my mom was obviously OK with it,
25:58but the rest of my family was really not OK with it.
26:00So they didn't come.
26:02If I get married again, I'm probably
26:04not going to have a dress.
26:05I'm not going to do the big white dress.
26:06I mean, I'm probably honestly going
26:09to just get married on a mountain in my jeans somewhere.
26:15Yeah, this is pretty.
26:16I like it.
26:16I like that the lace continues all the way through.
26:18There's no stop.
26:19Yes, yes.
26:21I love this more than any of the others.
26:22Yeah.
26:23Yeah, I love it.
26:24I love all of it.
26:25Because it's like everything you've been saying together.
26:28Boning, I love.
26:30This, I actually love.
26:33All of it.
26:33Yeah.
26:34This is the last dress.
26:36I haven't found my dress, but I found four pieces of a dress
26:40that I really like.
26:41So she's going to take those four pieces and find them.
26:43Huh?
26:44Yeah, like a custom for her type of.
26:47Mom, what did you think?
26:49I like it.
26:50Other mom, Evelyn.
26:51She's talking to you.
26:52What do you think?
26:53Yeah, I like it.
26:55Yeah, yeah, me too.
26:56It's very pretty.
26:57It's my favorite.
26:58Janelle, is this weird for you?
27:00No.
27:00OK.
27:01So actually, of all the dresses, this incorporates all the
27:03things you've been talking about.
27:05If you just add that little bit of a deeper plunge,
27:07I like the off the shoulder.
27:08Me too.
27:09OK, good.
27:10Mm.
27:10Gorgeous.
27:11Yay.
27:12Good.
27:13Steps forward.
27:16I didn't find the actual dress today,
27:19but what I found are bits and pieces,
27:21and she's just going to design one for me.
27:23The deep plunge in the middle, a sleeve
27:26a little bit off the shoulder.
27:28The background is going to be a mocha,
27:31but then it's going to have bits and pieces
27:32where it's just mesh.
27:34We'll be able to pick up the train, but not a long one,
27:36and no veil whatsoever.
27:38It's not going to have a waistline on it.
27:41It's just going to be a continuous mermaid,
27:43is what it's called.
27:44We're on a pretty quick turnaround for Christine.
27:47About at least 45 days, maybe, turnaround.
27:50Fast.
27:51Faster.
27:52I hope we can design something she's obsessed with.
27:54I want to start dating guys who kind of believe the same thing
27:59and have the same, like, life goal as me.
28:02I know that they're interested in dating,
28:05but I'm like, hey, that's not, shouldn't be the reason
28:07why you're at a church.
28:14Mary just moved to Paraguay, and it's been a challenge for me.
28:19All right, so you guys are going to the store,
28:21All right, so you guys are going to the store,
28:23and to the park, the place where you're going.
28:25We're going to the pizza place, I think.
28:27OK.
28:28Now that Christine's moved on, and I
28:30know that she's dating and stuff, it's just what it is.
28:33I have to just, I've had to just let it go.
28:37I'm sort of dealing with a little bit of identity issues,
28:41going, where's my future?
28:42I disappeared.
28:43So having to think about that a lot.
28:48Bye, you guys.
28:48Love you.
28:49Bye, you.
28:51This afternoon, I'm leaving the house
28:53with Ariella and Solomon.
28:54They just need to get out of the house.
29:00Well, hopefully they have fun.
29:03Thank you for getting your dishes done, sweetie.
29:05You're welcome.
29:08Do you know how we were talking about joining
29:10a church and church things?
29:13Yeah, are you cool if I have Aurora come and join us?
29:15Because she's kind of been saying the same thing to me,
29:17and I think we need to kind of just flesh it all the way out.
29:20Aurora and Brianna kind of separately
29:23have been sort of talking little bits about, I miss church.
29:27It'd be nice to go.
29:28They both have expressed to me that they are really
29:31needing that in their lives.
29:33So Brianna's been talking to me about wanting
29:36to go to church too, like you have been.
29:39I just think since we're going through college
29:41and figuring out what we want to do with, like,
29:43our lives career-wise and that sort of thing,
29:46I want to be a part of, like, a Christian community.
29:50I just really miss that.
29:53I've missed it too.
29:55It's been a long time since we've been to church,
29:57just because we haven't had, there's
30:00no churches that believe the way that dad and I, you know,
30:05did, you know, or do.
30:07I really miss going to church.
30:11I was born into our church.
30:15When I was young, I went to a church school.
30:18It was something that was a part of my everyday life.
30:24I have been worrying like crazy about our kids not having that.
30:32When they were little, we went all the time.
30:35And then we went to Vegas, and we couldn't.
30:37And so we were trying to do it as a family,
30:39but it was never really that great.
30:43The Hebrews started struggling to maintain their culture.
30:48And the moms and I have talked a lot
30:49about how we've struggled to maintain our family culture.
30:54There isn't a branch of our church near Vegas.
30:57There isn't one here in Flagstaff.
31:00And so we haven't been going to church because of that.
31:05Cody has really intense feelings about our church.
31:11She's been really, really frustrated with me
31:15sort of withdrawing from the church that she grew up in.
31:18So are you kind of the same place?
31:20One thing that's kind of pushed me a little bit more
31:23towards it is the Buddhism class I took last semester.
31:28I wanted that to be a lot more part of my life than it is.
31:33Yeah, like a spirituality, religion-type concept.
31:39Like have a community.
31:40I really want that in my life.
31:42I want to start dating guys who kind of believe the same thing
31:46and have the same, like, life goal as me.
31:49So I think that would probably be a good place to start.
31:53Maybe some girlfriends or something that, you know,
31:56like some friends that are, like, think the same way,
32:00have the same goals like that and stuff like that.
32:01I really want to connect in that way.
32:04I know that they're interested in dating, you know,
32:08a guy that has similar beliefs.
32:10But I'm like, hey, that's not, shouldn't be the reason
32:12why you're at a church.
32:17I want them to focus on their spiritual journey
32:19more than anything at this point.
32:21And then that type of thing kind of has a tendency
32:23to fall into place.
32:27Aurora and Brianna kind of have, you know,
32:30traditional old-fashioned values.
32:32They're in college, both of them.
32:33So finding a guy to date that has similar values
32:37has been hard.
32:39They don't have any churches around here that will
32:41blame parental marriage.
32:43I don't have the same call to it that you and dad do and did.
32:49OK.
32:50All right, so that's not a thing.
32:53What about you, sweetie?
32:54I have conflicting thoughts, so.
32:56But right now, I'm just, I don't think so.
32:59I'm not sure if I want to live that.
33:01What we've gone through in our family,
33:03as far as everything falling apart,
33:05I feel like it's more because of the individuals
33:09and rather than plural marriage itself.
33:13If Brianna got a testimony and felt
33:15like plural marriage was her choice,
33:18and that's what she felt like was her path,
33:20I'd be like, OK.
33:22But if it's not, that's OK, too.
33:24It's absolutely OK, all of it.
33:26I don't think any of my kids are going to live plural marriage.
33:29I could possibly see it if one of my daughters
33:33wanted to marry a married man.
33:36I don't think the experience they've
33:38had with our family would make them want to do that.
33:42So I really wouldn't care to have
33:44my daughters in plural marriage.
33:47I really don't think any of my sons
33:48are interested in plural marriage, either.
33:50So do you think it's like an idea of like where
33:54we do a little bit of church shopping or church?
33:57Yeah.
33:58I feel like that.
33:58Like sort of trying out and seeing which feels right.
34:04Yeah.
34:04There's lots of different types.
34:06Brianna's asking about just finding a church.
34:08This is kind of going to be probably a big conversation
34:11because I don't know what church she's referring to
34:17and if she has something specific in mind.
34:19This is cool.
34:21I'm so excited.
34:22Are you really?
34:23Me, too.
34:23Yeah.
34:24OK.
34:25OK.
34:26I think that's one of my biggest goals
34:28as a mother is knowing that my children have
34:31a relationship with God.
34:33It's kind of what's getting me through everything
34:35and stuff like that.
34:36So I think this is good.
34:41I think it's good.
34:43So I'm nervous about this experience
34:45and I've got some anxieties and some withholdings.
34:51And Robin keeps going, well, we need to do something.
34:54Man, I've been in a dark place a little while.
34:56And so Robin's sitting here going,
34:58well, I'm going to start checking stuff out without you.
35:01I'm in a place in my life where I will remain the maverick
35:03because I don't want to wear the brand,
35:05but I do believe in Jesus.
35:12I like it.
35:13The frosting's a little too sweet for me.
35:15That's what we're going to do naked.
35:17I had no idea what a naked cake was.
35:19What did you think I was going to say?
35:20What did you think naked was?
35:21Somebody naked holding the cake.
35:24Or someone pop out of the cake naked.
35:26I have no idea.
35:33At this point, the only one of my sister-wives
35:37that's talking to me is Mary.
35:39I don't know really what's going on in Christine's life.
35:43I just hope she's finding happiness.
35:45That's all.
35:47I'm totally refusing to be curious about Christine
35:50because I have a wife that I want
35:52to work out my relationship with, with enthusiasm.
35:55And so it's almost kind of like an ignore thing.
35:58You know, I'm not going to act interested.
36:00No way.
36:00No.
36:04Last thing she wants me is poking my nose
36:06around her business now.
36:12We're going cake testing.
36:14I remember going with my kids, and it
36:15was so much fun to be with them while they
36:17picked out their cakes.
36:18But this is all about us, like David and I, and what we want.
36:21And I'm just excited, just excited to try it.
36:25So we have German chocolate, red velvet,
36:29white chocolate with raspberry filling,
36:32cherry marble, and almond vanilla, and carrot.
36:37I want something where you can taste the flavor of the cake.
36:40I love the cake itself.
36:43So we're looking for something like that.
36:45We don't want fondant, nothing with fondant.
36:47No.
36:48Christine, is he going to have a groom's cake?
36:51Oh.
36:53What if we just did boobs?
36:56That's for the bachelor party.
36:58I don't need to be jealous by anything.
36:59I was jealous for years.
37:01Well, what if it was your boobs?
37:03Truly?
37:04Truly.
37:05What?
37:06You're teaching her to be inappropriate.
37:07That is inappropriate.
37:09This is a cake testing, and it's cake only, and stop it.
37:13When Cody and I got married, we didn't have a cake.
37:15We didn't.
37:15We didn't have a cake.
37:16It was a dinner.
37:17We just had a very, very simple dinner.
37:19But I didn't really involve Cody that much with the planning.
37:21He just said, do whatever you want to do.
37:24So I just felt like, as a plural wife,
37:26we should just have something simple, just a dinner,
37:29and so there wasn't a cake or anything.
37:32Red velvet.
37:33This one's red velvet.
37:35Everyone just try it.
37:35Oh.
37:36Just try it.
37:37It's all good.
37:38Babe, I get a lot of frosting, though.
37:40No.
37:41Oh.
37:43So what would you rate this?
37:45A scale of 1 to 10?
37:46No, I can't do that.
37:47You have to go over and do all of them.
37:49No, no, you can do that.
37:50I want to wait until I trace all of them, and then I decide.
37:53I like it.
37:54The frosting's a little too sweet for me.
37:56That's why we're going to do it naked.
37:58I like it.
37:59Did you just say we're doing it naked?
38:00What?
38:01What?
38:02What did you say?
38:03Come on.
38:04My dear god, mom.
38:05This is a question mark.
38:06You, that is, I can't believe that.
38:08Listen, I got it from somebody.
38:10I had no idea what a naked cake was.
38:12What did you think I was going to say?
38:13What did you think naked was?
38:14Somebody naked holding the cake.
38:16I have no, or someone pop out of the cake naked.
38:19I have no idea, you know?
38:22Naked cake is just partial frosting,
38:24and then we'll decorate it with fresh flowers.
38:26Well, why don't we just call it a bear cake, then?
38:27Why naked?
38:28There are bear cakes.
38:29No frosting at all.
38:31So you want a lingerie cake.
38:33A lingerie cake.
38:34That's even better.
38:35See, lingerie is partially dressed.
38:36That's what it should be called.
38:38It's a lingerie cake.
38:41OK, so the next flavor we're going to try
38:43is the white chocolate with raspberry filling.
38:46Oh.
38:47And vanilla buttercream.
38:49I like this one better than the velvet one.
38:53OK, next flavor, almond vanilla.
38:56Oh, I'm looking forward to that one.
38:59This is carrot cake with cream cheese.
39:03Oh, this is carrot cake.
39:05Oh, are you two going to smash?
39:07No, not at the wedding.
39:08No, no, no, no, don't do that.
39:09You know David's going to do it, Mom.
39:12You have to let him know you don't want it.
39:13No, I don't want to.
39:15She's going to do it to me.
39:16No, I'm not.
39:18You know, I don't understand the whole cake smashing.
39:20But that's for the young people.
39:22We're more older, more mature.
39:23We're mature.
39:25We're super mature.
39:26We're not mature.
39:27We're very, very, very mature.
39:31No, we're not.
39:34Oh my goodness.
39:35Oh my gosh.
39:36Yes.
39:37It's pink.
39:38It's cherry vanilla marble.
39:41Look at that little tiny.
39:43Wow.
39:43OK, last one is German chocolate.
39:46I want to lick also the plate.
39:48I want to have yours too.
39:49They were all delicious.
39:50Every single one of those cakes was amazing.
39:53And I can't decide on two.
39:54I don't know if we're supposed to pick two,
39:55but we had to pick three.
39:57They were amazing.
39:58So what are you guys going to do then?
40:00So what's the plan?
40:02Why don't we make a nice big one of the flavor you want
40:06and then smaller ones?
40:09Why do traditional three tier?
40:11OK.
40:12Just do a big one, then have the small ones.
40:16Why don't we just do three big ones?
40:17Yeah.
40:18David and I chose three cakes because we
40:20couldn't narrow it down.
40:22No, David, he makes everything easy.
40:25He's like, why pick?
40:27Let's just have all of them if we want.
40:29Isn't that great?
40:32Three large cakes the same size.
40:34What is your decision on the three you want?
40:37German chocolate, the vanilla almond,
40:39and then we want to do a carrot cake
40:40with that cream cheese frosting.
40:42And then we want them naked, though, for sure, all of them.
40:44Just naked.
40:46I found out with this whole wedding process
40:48and planning process, I'm a lot more independent
40:50than I thought I was.
40:52Because I'll be like, oh, yeah, I guess I should ask David.
40:53I guess I should ask David.
40:54Because I got so used to not involving Cody.
40:57But there were some things that was just
40:58too complicated with Cody.
41:00Good job.
41:01Yay.
41:02Good job.
41:04Thank you, guys.
41:05You're welcome.
41:05Thanks.
41:11When Christine left, she told her children, our children,
41:15and even some of Janelle's children,
41:18dad has a soulmate.
41:20That's Robin.
41:22I want to be free to go find my soulmate.
41:26When she first told everybody that, that pissed me off.
41:30But as time has gone on, they're gone.
41:34I'm out of this relationship with these other wives.
41:37I'm, like, way more inclined to accept that.
41:46Next time on Sister Wives.
41:48We're going to have an engagement party.
41:54She's been engaged for two seconds.
41:55She's been dating him for 10 seconds.
42:03And what happened to you at that time?
42:05I just want to know.
42:07You want to hear it.
42:07You like hearing this, don't you?
42:09I want to know that God has been my wingman with you
42:12and that nobody can take you away.
42:14I trust God enough to lead us where we should go.
42:17And I said, Cody, you have no interest in, like,
42:22having a relationship with me.
42:24It's like, no, you said you didn't
42:25want to be married to me.
42:26So why should I stick around for another 10 years, dumb ass?