A MOTHER who had her first child when she was 15 has revealed what it’s like to be a teen parent - and the judgement she and her partner have faced along the way. Cat met her now-husband, Grant, at high school in California. The pair had only been dating for eight months when Cat found out she was pregnant. Cat told Truly: “Getting pregnant that young was a very irresponsible decision to make but we are just like any other parents.”
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00:00This is Kat. She fell in love with Grant.
00:05The couple were only 15 and 17 years old when they found out Kat was pregnant.
00:11I was shocked, obviously.
00:14And being teen parents doesn't come without judgement.
00:17I feel the people staring and I feel the judgement.
00:21People stop and be like, wait a minute, they do not look of age.
00:25Today Kat's mum is coming over to tell her daughter how she really felt about her pregnancy.
00:31I think my mum was even more disappointed in me because she had an experience of being a young mother.
00:37I was devastated. At what point did I let my guard down and fail my daughter?
00:41So do you remember when I first told you I was pregnant?
00:45When I first found out I was pregnant I was very shocked, I mean of course.
00:49But at the same time, you know, we knew what we were doing.
00:53A snake!
00:55Are you making a snake?
00:57And, you know, the outcome of what being irresponsible does.
01:04You say please.
01:06I found out I was pregnant at 15 years old.
01:09I was 17 years old.
01:11We got together, started dating in May of 2016 and then we found out she was pregnant in January of 2017.
01:20Having a child is very straining.
01:22You can read the books and read the blogs but you never know until you really do it.
01:26No, don't throw.
01:27I'll throw.
01:28Don't throw.
01:31I think one of the biggest complications with raising Toby has been really just balancing out what we still need to do just as humans.
01:41We needed to finish high school.
01:43We're trying to finish college and we are, you know, full time employees.
01:48But I wouldn't change anything about it.
01:50I'd take a day with my son over anything.
01:55I feel the people staring and I feel judgment.
01:59They see a girl who obviously doesn't even look 18, you know, walking around with a newborn or, you know, a baby bump.
02:06I sacrificed my body for nine months and I went through childbirth yet people still make me feel like I'm less of a mom.
02:14I do remember one moment.
02:16I was maybe like seven or eight months along.
02:19I was just walking through the store with my mom.
02:21One of my mom's friends had come up to us and she looked at me and she was like, you know, everybody knows what you did now.
02:28And everything that you're doing, you know, behind closed doors and I just really wanted to hide it.
02:33I wasn't proud of it.
02:36I just felt like I should just stay inside all the time and just don't let anybody see what was going on with me.
02:45If an older woman who was already married, nobody would have said something like that to her.
02:50People would be like, oh, congratulations, you know, be happy that you're having a child.
02:57When I found out that my 15 year old daughter was pregnant, I was devastated.
03:02And not that her life was ruined, but devastated of the challenges that she would forever face.
03:08When it could have happened, where did it happen?
03:11At what point did I let my guard down and fail my daughter?
03:14So do you remember when I first told you I was pregnant?
03:17I was out of town.
03:18I think the immediate reaction was like, holy, this really, this really is.
03:23My youngest was eight at the time.
03:26So I was just getting all my kids in school full time and then to see my 15 year old have it.
03:32Shock.
03:33My first child I had at 18.
03:35Imagine still learning your body and going through hormonal changes and then add a pregnancy on top of that and then a birth.
03:44And then a newfound relationship while you're raising a baby.
03:48I really appreciated, you know, just telling me like that it's going to be OK.
03:54Even though we didn't know, you know, we never know it's going to be OK.
03:57But, you know, that assurance from you was probably like the number one thing that made me confident.
04:04When we were at the store with your friend and she had looked at me and said, well, now everybody knows what you did.
04:10Even though it hurt me, it brought us closer because like you said, it made you more protective and it made you just embrace it.
04:20My parents were disappointed.
04:22When I first found out, it was like, oh, crap. It was shocking.
04:26You're upset, then you get mad and then you cry because you're upset.
04:32But they told me that Kat and I would have their full support no matter what.
04:37And then you just figure, well, this is something we got to get over, you know, because it's not going to go away.
04:44We embraced it. It was, you know, I wouldn't change anything.
04:48I love having my grandson.
04:53I think getting pregnant very young was a very irresponsible decision to make.
04:58I do know for sure that so many other teen moms and teen parents that I talk to agree that, you know, they love their child so much.
05:07But, you know, if they could have just waited even just one or two more years, I feel the same way.
05:13I just feel so fortunate for what we have because we're so supported.
05:19We're so supported and so many other teen parents don't get that support.
05:23We deserve that recognition that we're doing the parenting thing despite everything.