El Presidente | One Bite
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00:00Are you ready?
00:03Yeah!
00:05I'm crazy.
00:13I got a pizza for you, and I'm confident that you're gonna like it.
00:17It's bad, but it's not you, it's me.
00:20The fact that they've been around 90 years, the grandfather, the dad, all of it.
00:24Major vibes points.
00:25I'm gonna put this on my must hit list.
00:27The girls just went absolute bananas.
00:30Oh my god!
00:32He's got nothing to hide, so we looked at the kitchen.
00:35He has nothing to hide.
00:36He has nothing to hide.
00:37Nothing to hide.
00:39There was nothing to hide.
00:40That story is one of the best stories we've heard.
00:42I donated, I think it was $900 to the Barstool Fund.
00:46To save up, to donate, because you want to help other small businesses during COVID, I think that speaks for itself.
00:51Shut the door on the hangar, okay?
00:55If you would have been hired, please do.
00:56We got him!
00:57I'm from New Haven, I moved here like 10 years ago to do stand-up and I wasn't funny.
01:00And then I started doing pizza and that was it.
01:02Frank Pepe's, Plantation, Florida.
01:04I did this review, the pizza was terrible.
01:07This was disappointing.
01:08This is 1,000 times better than the first time I had it.
01:11They put this up, you want it, you got it.
01:13They're wearing the shirts, we want porn on it.
01:15Hey, I'll get rid of them, I'm not trademarking.
01:177-9?
01:18Diagonal Road?
01:19Take a slice.
01:20Diagonal Square, is that there?
01:22That's what I want.
01:23You think?
01:25Oh my God, this is like making my kids sad.
01:28You want me, I'm not a big baby holder.
01:30It's alright.
01:31One more bowl, one more.
01:32My kid now.
01:33You're the man.
01:37I like it.
01:38I'm down here, now I'm up here.
01:39Can you just follow me for two seconds to say what's up to my wife?
01:42Hi, how are you?
01:43Oh my God, do you think I can face my dad?
01:45What's going on?
01:50I'm kind of pulling it off.
01:51And then?
01:53It's all good, I know.
01:54Listen, I know.
01:55That guy gave me the most aggressive high five.
01:57Did you get that?
01:58This is the best web aid, I guarantee it.
02:00I'll buy it if it's not.
02:027-7.
02:03There it is.
02:04Here we go.
02:05I told you, it's a big time high five.
02:07I walked in and he goes, this guy has all the drip.
02:10We got this.
02:11We're gonna go hard.
02:12It's like a t-shirt, goes hard.
02:13I'm killing it.
02:14And this is your personal?
02:16My personal.
02:17I'm at $100.
02:18You really gonna give him $100?
02:20No!
02:21No!
02:22Say hello, Mrs. Peaches.
02:24Mrs. Peaches!
02:25They're calling for you, Ms. Peaches.
02:27How's Mrs. Peaches?
02:28Where is she?
02:29We love Mrs. Peaches.
02:30How's Mrs. Peaches?
02:31She's great.
02:32Spoke to me, and now I got a surf style vibe going on.
02:34We got you a pizza.
02:36How long did I have that pizza on me for?
02:38The whole review?
02:39Dropped it pretty early on.
02:409-2 cheesesteak.
02:42Spectacular.
02:43It's a small business.
02:44We were doing it every single week.
02:46We got paid.
02:47It changed my life.
02:48It changed my family's life.
02:50Wait, you guys have been here since 11?
02:52No pressure.
02:53Just got like...
02:57We called it in, Danny.
02:58Nice to meet you.
02:59Danny Boy Kane.
03:00Yes.
03:01I'll give it an 8.
03:02There is no such thing with Danny Boy Kane.
03:04He's a rookie scorer.
03:05He's a veteran.
03:06I'm the one that took him to his place.
03:07He did?
03:08Hold on.
03:09Let me see my lady here.
03:10Okay.
03:11I'll wait out here.
03:12I saw somebody here.
03:13You want me in here?
03:15Do you want...
03:17Do you want...
03:21This is the best pizza in Scotland.
03:24My dad built a wood-burning pizza oven in our backyard.
03:27Oh yeah?
03:28But then he got a divorce.
03:29Lost the house and the pizza oven.
03:30Exactly.
03:31It's really that good usually, huh?
03:32I wasn't even looking.
03:34Club bar pie.
03:35Bunnies out of the clouds.
03:37Almost every pizza you've ever had in your life
03:39has chemicals that are illegal in China.
03:41When do we get to eat the pizza?
03:42I don't know.
03:43I got the Brooklyn salsa.
03:44You got a salsa?
03:45I'm trying to be cool with the jacket.
03:46I'm going to give it a five.
03:47Spectacular.
03:48I was going to give it a seven.
03:49Well, you know, you should take that sweatshirt off, you know?
03:52I don't know why I thought you were shorter.
03:56I love the way they're answering the phones.
03:58I saw a congratulations story.
04:00Oh, perfect.
04:01I will tell them about it.
04:02That's so exciting.
04:03What are we thinking?
04:04Such mom-and-pop, like, local flair.
04:07Pressure's on.
04:11Thanks, man.
04:12Thanks, man.
04:13I'll try not to get too emotional,
04:14but, I mean, you're coming at a good time for us.
04:16It's just been hard, man.
04:17This is an A1 pie.
04:18Don't ever get it.
04:19I may start selling those shirts.
04:21Don't ever get wheat and gelato ice cream.
04:23What did you get?
04:249?
04:259.0?
04:26I haven't eaten yet.
04:27What do you got?
04:29I love this place, and I think you're great,
04:32and I'm just being weird.
04:33Sorry.
04:34This pizza could strut its ass down the runway,
04:36and I would be one of those guys, like,
04:37cocking my head to look at her ass.
04:40Get Matt or Mike.
04:42You live in a farm 10 minutes away from
04:44Tony from selling solar panels?
04:47You guys being human traffic?
04:48I'm sorry, the owner's on his way.
04:50He's one of the three brothers.
04:51They call him the Three Kings.
04:52Get over here and give me a fucking hug.
04:54You're up 7 and 8-1.
04:55Why did you do this, brother?
04:56You got one more brother to try, though.
04:58Thank you, Dave.
05:00Got hijacked.
05:01The Three Short Kings.
05:02You didn't get hijacked.
05:03We negotiated a term.
05:058-3.
05:061, 2, 3.
05:07Thank you, Dave!
05:08You three bozos.
05:10All great.
05:11I think you do like the armor, man, too.
05:13You want me to give it a bad sport?
05:14No!
05:15These guys have nailed my style.
05:17You're going to get busy.
05:18You'll get busy.
05:19All right.
05:20Benny Cameron, big fan.
05:21Said, God bless Captain Dave.
05:23People were worried about Captain Dave.
05:25Benny Cameron.
05:26David Portnoy, I'm glad to see this guy is still alive.
05:29He had a close call.
05:30Miss Peaches wasn't with you, though.
05:32She wasn't, thank God.
05:33The target's with me all the time.
05:34You take a picture with you?
05:35Yes.
05:36Yep, thank you.
05:38Thank you so much.
05:40Nice to meet you guys.
05:41Good luck.
05:42Thank you, Dave.
05:45Thank you for coming in here.
05:47I appreciate it.
05:49Thank you, Dave.
05:52Listen, I knew I was in the middle of a thank you off.
05:53Two thank yous in.
05:54I'm like, I'm going to fucking bash these guys up ahead with thank yous.
05:57This is $10.
05:58This is the America I know.
05:59New category.
06:00Value pizza of the year.
06:01$10.
06:02Half price Monday night pizza.
06:03Half price Monday night pizza.
06:04Anything else?
06:05All-you-can-eat ribs Tuesday.
06:06All-you-can-eat ribs on Tuesday.
06:07Wednesday, we have...
06:08Hold on a second.
06:09All right.
06:10Wait.
06:11Wednesday, we have burger night.
06:12Burger night Wednesday.
06:13One bite, everyone has rules.
06:14There it is.
06:15Now, Mike wants camera time.
06:16He's like a TikTok guy, security guy.
06:17Mike's just dying to get in that amazing circle.
06:18I'm trying to get a face on him.
06:19Come here.
06:20What's lunch for Dave?
06:21March.
06:22He's in a march.
06:23March.
06:24March.
06:25March.
06:26March.
06:27March.
06:28March.
06:29March.
06:30March.
06:31March.
06:32March.
06:33March.
06:34Let's march.
06:35Are you going to march for me?
06:36Let's march.
06:37You ready?
06:38Oh, come on.
06:39Oh, I might have oversold it with that.
06:40Like, get impressed.
06:41You've got me marching.
06:42You don't got him marching.
06:43Nino is paisan with my uncle.
06:44All right.
06:45They're from the same town in Sicily.
06:46Are you going to make them famous in Sicily now?
06:48Oh, go ahead.
06:49The guy behind the register, who I like, he's like, oh, I don't have it.
06:52You must have called the other Bennys.
06:53There's two.
06:54I go, is this the number?
06:55He goes, that's actually the other one.
06:56He calls the number.
06:57Hello, Bennys right in front of us.
06:58I'll call Lion.
06:59Lion.
07:00Lion.
07:01Lion.
07:03You don't have a pizza.
07:04Nope.
07:05I don't have a pizza.
07:06I've been cooking pizzas for a long time.
07:07You were speaking to Derek on his birthday.
07:08He was so thrilled with that.
07:09And he was like, I think he wanted to set me up for failure.
07:10He may have.
07:11It's a 5-8.
07:12Which isn't horrible.
07:13No.
07:14There's a deadly silence here.
07:15The guy in here, he's got this board of banned customers.
07:16Anything but just the name, they were assholes.
07:17Or they were just assholes over the phone.
07:18There's a number.
07:19There's a number.
07:20There's a number.
07:21There's a number.
07:22There's a number.
07:23There's a number.
07:24There's a number.
07:25There's a number.
07:26There's a number.
07:27There's a number.
07:28Anything but just the name, they were assholes.
07:30Or they were just assholes over the phone.
07:32This is a great pizza.
07:33Not just because he has my face on the screen, wearing the shirt.
07:36It seems like he'd kill himself if he didn't get a good score here.
07:398-2.
07:40Close.
07:42The guy used to be in a rock band.
07:43He said, travel and learn how to make pizza on YouTube.
07:45Right up my alley.
07:46So 8-2 Rockaway.
07:47Angelo's still the best pizza here.
07:49His pizza's fairly fine.
07:50He's been doing it a long, long time.
07:51Angelo's spectacular.
07:52Now that's an Oz pizza guy.
07:54That looks awesome.
07:55Slice of New York.
07:56Rockaway.
07:57Pizza Lupo.
07:58Put him on a shirt.
07:59It's the 8-2 crew.
08:00Do you have a friend that gets stopped all the time because they think that it's you?
08:04Big test right here.
08:05I'll take it.
08:06Right?
08:07He doesn't really eat pizza.
08:09He beats New Haven style in the heart of Texas.
08:14Passes the mustard.
08:15State Fair, Texas.
08:16I don't know I've ever had a corn dog.
08:19Oh, it's a hot dog.
08:20I had no idea that was a hot dog.
08:23Fried pickle pizza.
08:25It's something.
08:26I've never had anything like it.
08:27I have never had anything like this.
08:29Clap that up.
08:30Clap it.
08:32I've never had pizza like this.
08:34Wow.
08:35It's the worst thing I've ever had.
08:36Do you want to give it a real score?
08:37It's a zero.
08:38This is a tribute to my mom.
08:39Some people were in the Round Edge Club and said,
08:41Hey, we've got a concession stand up in the area.
08:43I want to kill them all.
08:44That's what, 55 years later?
08:45We're still here.
08:46Cornerstones.
08:47Hi.
08:48Carver math.
08:50Are you like a movie star or something?
08:52I'm crazy.
08:53Crazy?
08:54Nice to meet you.
08:55Yep.
08:56Crazy.
08:57Okay.
08:58Nice to meet you.
08:59Is that your birth name or is that like just your nickname?
09:01No.
09:02Wow.
09:03I don't want to tell you my birth name.
09:05Okay.
09:07Anyway.
09:08Okay, I think we're done shaking hands out there.
09:12There's a rumor that you were going to give us a turf field.
09:14Wait, what is this?
09:15What are you filming?
09:16Who's this guy?
09:17He's the captain of the baseball team this year.
09:18There goes no field.
09:19My back is where the baseball went.
09:21This video of me just hitting like a 900-foot home run.
09:23The one-two pitch.
09:24Hit high in the air, deep to right field.
09:27If you put your ear to the wind, you'll hear people like in shocking gaps the sound of a cannonball.
09:33It's a great looking putt.
09:34How have we not tried this place?
09:368-6?
09:378-9 cheesesteak?
09:38This place is fucking great.
09:40This is David Porcoy.
09:42He's the big pizza man.
09:43He's our man.
09:44I'm so thankful you're here.
09:46I already know this is made with such love it's going to just blow my face off.
09:49That guy was the most upbeat guy you're ever going to have.
09:51Wow, the pleasure is all mine.
09:53Oh my god, man, this is incredible.
09:55It's a real deal, man.
09:56I appreciate that.
09:57Gosh darn, man.
09:58We're getting ready to close.
09:59Close forever?
10:00Yeah, forever, forever.
10:01Watch out for the snow storm present that day.
10:04Oh, he can't block out the snow.
10:06I didn't know what the hell he was talking about.
10:08There's no way this place should be going out of business.
10:10None.
10:11Can I ask you something?
10:12Yes, sir.
10:13How much money do you need to stay open for like a year?
10:15That's a really good question.
10:16I'm not sure.
10:17There's somebody super rich right in front of your face.
10:19And by serendipity, he's like, what do you need to stay open for a year?
10:22If we had $60,000, would that be done?
10:24Done.
10:25Done?
10:26Done.
10:27Pizza is good, too.
10:29Fucking 60 dimes right there, but whatever.
10:31I'm a nice motherfucker.