Donna Black talks movingly for the Everyday Bravery campaign about the passing of her infant daughter Rose
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00:00So, for me, bravery really came to play through the illness and the death of my daughter Rose,
00:06so we sadly lost Rose when she was two and a half.
00:10I'm Donna Black, I'm Communications Director for MD Communications and we're a boutique
00:15communications consultancy for law firms and professional services firms.
00:20I think bravery is sometimes about being vulnerable and it's about being open and honest and asking
00:27for help actually.
00:28I think in the past I used to think bravery was about carrying on and pretending everything
00:32was alright, but actually when I look around at other people and I look at myself, the
00:37bravest ones are the ones who've been able to ask for help and be honest, but actually
00:42I read something which really struck a chord, which is that bravery doesn't roar, it's sometimes
00:48the quiet courage to carry on again the next day and I think that really rings true for me.
00:54The time in my life and continues to be the times when I need to be brave is around my
00:59daughter Rose.
01:01Rose was born with heart problems and sadly she died while she was waiting for a heart
01:06transplant when she was just two and a half.
01:08So I had to be brave throughout her life and even braver once we lost her because I was
01:14in a situation that no parent wants to be in.
01:16I had a life I didn't want without my child, but I had to find a way to carry on.
01:23So for a long time, carrying on was pretending everything was alright, but actually I think
01:27the bravery for me came in a few years down the line when I was able to say I'm not okay
01:33and to actually ask for help and to be more honest about what the whole experience was like.
01:39I think for me it was about taking small steps, so it wasn't even about day to day, sometimes
01:47it was about hour to hour and just finding the bravery and the courage to carry on.
01:55I have two more children now and a wonderful family life and my daughter Rose is still
02:01very much part of our family.
02:04We talk about her all the time, so I think being able to keep her memory alive and to
02:09carry on a happy and fulfilling life in her memory was really, really important.
02:14If you've got a challenge, I'd recommend breaking it down, so if you're feeling overwhelmed
02:20just look at how you can break it down into smaller steps.
02:23I think it's really, really important to be kind to yourself and not to beat yourself
02:27up if you feel like you're not performing like you think you should be or other people's
02:32expectations of you are.
02:34And I think finally ask for help.
02:36One of the bravest things you can do is be vulnerable and honest and ask for help.
02:40So if it's at work and you need to have a challenging conversation with a client, perhaps
02:45speak to a colleague who's really good at doing that kind of thing.
02:49Maybe it's something you need a bit of training or help with.
02:52If it's a challenge in your family life, I think talk about it and find someone you can
02:56trust to talk about it and that often gives you the strength to be able to find a way through.
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