Trista Sutter Recalls 'Turning Blue' on 'Special Forces,' Explains Abrupt Exit
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00:00When I got back to camp after the beach on the first day,
00:06I was in hypothermic shock.
00:09My lips were turning blue in the vehicle on the way back.
00:14It was bad.
00:16I was extremely lethargic.
00:18I just did a podcast with Christy Carlson Romano
00:21for my Almost Famous OG podcast,
00:23and we were talking about it.
00:25And it was bad.
00:27It was really scary.
00:29And so I get back to camp
00:32and ended up having the Mirror Room interview
00:34after I ate and warmed up a little bit.
00:36And, you know, going into the show,
00:39that was one of my goals.
00:40I wanted to get to the end.
00:42I truly did.
00:44I wasn't one that wanted to just sign up for the show
00:47and get the paycheck on the first day.
00:49You know what I mean?
00:50I wanted to challenge myself as much as I could,
00:56and this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
00:58And the Mirror Room part of it,
01:00I wanted to get to that.
01:01I thought that it would be, you know, farther along,
01:04but because of what happened to me, they pulled me in.
01:06And I got to really connect on a human level
01:09with Billy and Q and also Rudy.
01:12He's the one who kind of walked me in the room
01:15and then walked me out.
01:16And backing up to the beach,
01:19when I was on the beach, Rudy,
01:22I stopped Rudy and I said,
01:23I think I'm going to faint.
01:25And he's like, well, what do you want to do?
01:27I said, I would love to see a medic.
01:29And he's like, well, you can't.
01:30If you see a medic, then you're voluntarily withdrawing.
01:33And I'm like, I can't just,
01:35I really feel like I'm going to faint.
01:36He's like, I'm sorry.
01:37You have to either VW or keep going.
01:40And I'm like, okay, I'm not ready to go home.
01:41So I just kept going.
01:43And he said, after the Mirror Room,
01:46I'm really proud of you.
01:48You know, you, you,
01:51I thought you were going to quit on the beach
01:53and you didn't and you kept going.
01:55And that's so important.
01:56And I, and I'm so proud of you.
01:58And just getting that kind of validation
02:00and hearing from the DS in the Mirror Room
02:02that they saw that I was giving a hundred percent,
02:05even though my hundred percent was not as great as,
02:09you know, the professional athletes and Carrie Hart.
02:12And, you know, like I was trying my best.
02:15And so just knowing that they saw
02:19that I was giving a hundred percent meant a lot to me.
02:22I have just so much respect for them
02:25and what they have given to our country,
02:29their countries, you know.
02:31And so connecting with them was really important to me.
02:34And then I took a really long shower
02:36because everyone was already like cleaned.
02:38And this was way past, like I got back there late
02:41and, and I went to bed.
02:45They were like, get some rest,
02:47see how you feel in the morning.
02:48But in the Mirror Room interview,
02:49they were like, it's just going to get harder.
02:51It's going to get really hard.
02:52And it was already really hard.
02:54Like the in-betweens were what were really hard for me.
02:57Running from, running with the, with the pack,
03:00which is like a third of my body weight, essentially.
03:03It was really hard.
03:04I've never been a runner.
03:06And that, those were the hard parts,
03:08like the tasks I was actually kind of excited about
03:11and thought I did really well in them,
03:13even though I didn't pass technically.
03:16But, you know, the, the helicopter and whatever.
03:20So I went to bed and, and before we started filming,
03:27I saw the number 444.
03:30And I believe in like angel numbers and guardian angels
03:33and God and have huge faith and, you know, all of that.
03:37And I went into it knowing or believing
03:43that my guardian angels were kind of watching over me
03:46and went to bed.
03:48And I woke up to the explosions like all of us did.
03:52Right.
03:53And instantaneously, like a piece came over me thinking,
04:00you're good.
04:01Like you've gotten a lot out of these two days,
04:04even though it's just two days, it was like a lifetime.
04:09And I woke up thinking you're okay.
04:14You, you can go, you know?
04:16And, and, and I wasn't in a hurry.
04:19And I was like, I feel like I've been a burden to a few people.
04:24You know, I don't want to feel like a burden.
04:26I, I wanted to challenge myself,
04:30but burdening other people to kind of help me
04:33and they didn't have to help me.
04:34Like Golden was carrying my pack.
04:36You could see it in one of the episodes, you know,
04:38one of the moments by the bridge, he, he had two packs on one.
04:41One of them was mine.
04:43And I remember saying to him, like, I think I'm going to go.
04:48He's like, are you sure?
04:50You know?
04:51And, and mind you, this is when like, we are,
04:53they're running around like trying to get ready.
04:56Cause they're like, go, go, go.
04:57You have to be in parade in five minutes or whatever.
04:59So I'm like, you know what?
05:02I just, I have this piece.
05:04And, and that's the best way I can describe it is I felt like I got what I,
05:10what I came to get out of it,
05:13even though I would have gotten so much more had I continued because I was
05:18hypothermic the day before and was really scared and put in like a physical
05:23position where I felt like I pushed my body to the limit.
05:27And I didn't know if it was a good idea to push myself more and risk getting
05:32hurt. And I'm glad I did because you see what happens.
05:36And that is not only the like submersion,
05:40but the fighting and I've never been in a fight in my life.
05:45And I'm really glad that I didn't start it there because people were leaving
05:51with broken bones.