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GamingTranscript
00:00I am the Supreme Master.
00:27Citizens of South Park,
00:29welcome to Rally.
00:31In case you're new to Rally Days,
00:33I'll also be explaining the rules for each race,
00:36so pay attention.
00:38For our first race,
00:39we have set up four checkpoints around the town.
00:42Each racer must drive over the four checkpoints
00:45in numerical order.
00:47That's one, two, three, four for you dyslexic drivers.
00:51Once you have crossed over all four checkpoints,
00:54you've finished one lap.
00:56The first one to complete the required number of laps
00:58wins the race.
01:28This will help me win.
01:34Here we go, stay calm Eric.
01:36Finish him off.
01:39Take that.
01:41I'm out of here.
01:49This will help me win.
01:56I'm kinda hungry.
01:59Here we go, stay calm Eric.
02:04Finish him off.
02:08I'm out of here.
02:16Beefcake.
02:22This will help me win.
02:24Take that.
02:38I'm hungry.
02:41Get out of the way.
02:43Here we go, stay calm Eric.
02:51Finish him off.
02:59Sweet.
03:02I'm out of here.
03:07This will help me win.
03:11Here we go, stay calm Eric.
03:15Take that.
03:28I'm kinda hungry.
03:37Finish him off.
03:40Sweet.
03:44I'm out of here.
03:45This will help me win.
03:51Here we go, stay calm Eric.
03:59Take that.
04:02Beefcake.
04:06Finish him off.
04:10I'm out of here.
04:15This will help me win.
04:20What a race.
04:22I present the winner of Rally Day's first race.
04:26Our own Eric Kaufman.
04:36Alright, attention everyone.
04:39This second race is also simple.
04:42First, you need to collect the Rally Day's trophy by running into it with your vehicle.
04:47If someone else has the trophy, you can swipe it from them by bumping them with your vehicle,
04:52or you can knock it loose by hitting them with a weapon.
04:56When you have the trophy, you pick up where the last guy left off and cross the checkpoints in order.
05:03The player who activates the last checkpoint, that's checkpoint number four, wins the race.
05:08Let's get ready to race.
05:12Three, two, one, go!
05:39Command is keeping.
05:47Good method.
05:56Finish him off.
05:58Take that.
06:05Here we go. Stay calm, Eric.
06:08I'm out of here.
06:13Good method.
06:19I'm kinda hungry.
06:26BK!
06:35Howdy ho!
06:46Check.
06:51Finish him off.
06:58Here we go. Stay calm, Eric.
07:06I'm out of here.
07:10Where's my Ultra Mega Mega Man?
07:15Let's congratulate our trophy holder, the winner of our second Rally Day's event.
07:20Our own Eric Kaufman.
07:29Hello, citizens.
07:31Cow Days is once again upon us, and so is the annual Cow Days race.
07:36Unfortunately, owing to circumstances having absolutely nothing to do with secret government research,
07:41all of the racers have been mysteriously infected with mad cow disease.
07:46When the race begins, you must collect the antidote.
07:49Whoever collects it and can hold on to it for two minutes will be cured.
07:53The rest of you will die.
07:55Great. So let's begin.
08:01Three, two, one, go!
08:09Ow, you hit me in the head. Now you're in trouble.
08:19Finish him off.
08:37If you let me win, I'm out of here.
08:43Hey, stop bombing me!
08:50Next time you do that, I'm going to chop off your wheelie,
08:54put it in some bread, and feed it to Kitty.
08:58You're going to be a trash can when I'm done with you.
09:06Out of the way!
09:10Hey!
09:20Finish him off.
09:38This will help me win.
09:41I'm out of here.
09:43Mmm.
09:48Beefcake!
10:04Drive apart trash.
10:09Hey, Beefcake, be patient.
10:11Do what, Mr. Hayes?
10:17This should be handy, Mr. Hayes.
10:21Dammit, now you pissed me off.
10:24Finish him off. This will help me win.
10:28I'm out of here.
10:34Time to play ball.
10:37You're going to be a trash can when I'm done with you.
10:53I'm out of here.
10:55I'm out of here.
11:06Finish him off.
11:13Get out of the way!
11:15Finish him off.
11:22Hey, stop bombing me!
11:24Next time you do that, I'm going to chop off your wheelie,
11:27put it in some bread, and feed it to Kitty.
11:30You're going to be a trash can when I'm done with you.
11:35I'm out of here.
11:40Time to play ball.
11:45Finish him off.
12:06Finish him off.
12:15Excuse me for winning. I didn't have a choice.
12:20And here's the survivor, uh, winner of this year's Cow Days Race,
12:25our own Eric Kaufman.
12:34Well, everyone, it's Valentine's Day, and love is in the air.
12:39Players must try to collect two items, Cupid's Bow and Cupid's Arrow.
12:44Collect both the bow and the arrow, and then shoot the other players.
12:48The winner is the person who shoots all the other players first.
12:52Now go and spread the love.
12:54I better keep my eyes open for the other guys.
12:58Three, two, one.
13:01Hey, might you understand, bitch, it might not be easy.
13:03Just go already.
13:04You're going to be a trash can when I'm done with you.
13:06Time for pain.
13:11Here we go. Stay calm, Eric.
13:14Alright.
13:22Yee-haw!
13:26Get out of here.
13:29Bird!
13:30Oh, no!
13:32Oh, come on.
13:38You go to hell, crumpet!
13:44Oh, shit!
13:45Ow!
13:46Crank!
13:47Good, Muffin.
13:48Get out of the way!
13:49Wait!
13:50Not that!
13:51Get out of the way!
13:52Get out of the way!
13:53Get out of the way!
13:54Get out of the way!
13:55Get out of the way!
13:56Get out of the way!
13:57Get out of the way!
13:58Get out of the way!
13:59Get out of the way!
14:00Get out of the way!
14:01Get out of the way!
14:02Get out of the way!
14:03Get out of the way!
14:04Get out of the way!
14:05Get out of the way!
14:06Get out of the way!
14:07Get out of the way!
14:08Get out of the way!
14:09Get out of the way!
14:10Get out of the way!
14:11Get out of the way!
14:12Get out of the way!
14:13Get out of the way!
14:14Get out of the way!
14:15Get out of the way!
14:16Get out of the way!
14:17Get out of the way!
14:18Get out of the way!
14:19Get out of the way!
14:20Get out of the way!
14:21Get out of the way!
14:22Get out of the way!
14:23Get out of the way!
14:24Get out of the way!
14:25Get out of the way!
14:26Get out of the way!
14:27Get out of the way!
14:28Get out of the way!
14:29Get out of the way!
14:30Get out of the way!
14:31Get out of the way!
14:32Get out of the way!
14:33Get out of the way!
14:34Get out of the way!
14:35Get out of the way!
14:36Get out of the way!
14:37Get out of the way!
14:38Get out of the way!
14:39Get out of the way!
14:40Get out of the way!
14:43Get out of the way!
14:44Get out of the way!
14:45Get out of the way!
14:46Get out of the way!
14:47Get out of the way!
14:48Get out of the way!
14:49Get out of the way!
14:50Get out of the way!
14:51Get out of the way!
14:52Get out of the way!
14:53Get out of the way!
14:54Get out of the way!
14:55Get out of the way!
14:56Get out of the way!
14:57Get out of the way!
14:58Get out of the way!
14:59Get out of the way!
15:00Get out of the way!
15:01Get out of the way!
15:02Get out of the way!
15:03Get out of the way!
15:04Get out of the way!
15:05Get out of the way!
15:06Get out of the way!
15:07Get out of the way!
15:08Get out of the way!
15:09Get out of the way!
15:10Don't change that face!
15:22You're going to be a trash can when I'm done with you!
16:06You baby!
16:07Yeah, I am!
16:12Kill the bitch, I'll kick you in the nuts!
16:15Wait!
16:15You're gonna be cursed at when I'm done with you!
16:17Oh, that's so horrific!
16:19Hey!
16:23Move it, nyan!
16:28Get out of the way!
16:31Oh, come on!
16:32Kill the bitch, I'll kick you in the nuts!
16:36You're gonna be cursed at when I'm done with you!
16:43You're gonna be a trashcan when I'm done with you!
16:50Oh, that's so horrific!
16:51This will have you in!
16:55I'm gonna tear through your head!
16:57Out of the way!
17:04You're gonna be cursed at when I'm done with you!
17:07Oh, that's so horrific!
17:09Howdy ho!
17:14You're gonna be a trashcan when I'm done with you!
17:23Get out of the way!
17:28Oh, boy!
17:33Let's share our love with our Valentine's Day winner with a big round of applause!
17:46This race is three laps long.
17:48First, you must grab a pair of soiled briefs generously donated by Eric Cartman's mom.
17:54In order to finish a lap, you must cross all four checkpoints representing wash, rinse, drain, and spin
18:01while holding a pair of his soiled briefs.
18:04If someone steals your underwear, you need to get one back to continue the race.
18:09First one to finish three laps wins!
18:13Three, two, one, go!
18:18Oh, baby!
18:23I'm gonna kick you in the nuts!
18:29Damn it, now you picked me up!
18:41Finish him off!
18:47Three, two, one, go!
19:00We got it, baby!
19:08Here we go, stay calm, Eric!
19:17Don't mess this!
19:26Get out of the way!
19:31You're gonna be a trashcan when I'm done with you!
19:42I'm outta here!
19:47I'm outta here!
19:57Ah, dumb American!
20:00I hate you, I want you to die!
20:02I'll kick it!
20:04Where's the fire extinguisher?
20:17Here we go!
20:25Finish him off!
20:41Here we go, stay calm!
20:42I'm outta here!
20:46I can't stop screaming!
20:48I gotta pee!
20:52Excuse me for winning, I didn't have time!
20:57Well, I'd like to thank the racers for cleaning up South Park's dirty laundry,
21:01and especially our winner, our own Eric Kaufman!
21:06I have just been informed of some rather disturbing news.
21:09It seems that South Park is far below the national literacy level.
21:15Yes, well, now, in order to address this important issue,
21:19I have proclaimed today, Read-a-Book Day,
21:22and have granted a temporary pardon to South Park's very own Chicken Lover,
21:27the driver of the Booktastic bus.
21:30The driver of the Booktastic bus,
21:32Chicken Lover, the driver of the Booktastic bus.
21:36The Chicken Lover will make sure that there will be enough books available for everyone.
21:41But while he's free, we need to protect all of the chickens in town.
21:45I need each of you to collect chickens and take them to the drop area
21:49in front of the police station, where they will be safe.
21:53The first racer to save ten chickens is the winner.
21:57Three, two, one...
22:01Just go already!
22:27Ah, okay, good!
22:30Finish them all!
22:37Next time you do that, I'm gonna chop off your wheelie,
22:39and put it on some bread, and feed it to Kitty!
22:43Check!
22:45Beefcake!
22:52I've got something for your head!
22:57That'll keep it!
23:07Super Heavy wins!
23:10Alright, kick ass!
23:27I've got something for your head!
23:29That'll keep it!
23:42I've got something for your head!
23:53Egg piece!
23:55That'll keep it!
24:00Check!
24:06Ah, okay, good!
24:16You're gonna be a trashcan when I'm done with you!
24:18I've got something for your head!
24:23Super Heavy wins!
24:25Alright, that's a felony!
24:27I've got something for your head!
24:31That'll keep it!
24:43That'll keep it!
24:45Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
24:48That'll keep it!
24:52Egg piece!
25:18The rules are simple.
25:20Collect 20 of the eggs
25:22before any other player to win the race.
25:25What could go wrong?
25:27Mephesto did ask me to mention
25:29that the deadly mutant bunnies who laid the eggs
25:32have broken free and are hunting for their young,
25:34so be sure to watch out for them while you hunt.
25:37Good luck!
25:413...
25:422...
25:431...
25:44GO!
25:46No way!
25:47Dammit, now you pissed me off!
26:01Egg!
26:05Ah, kick-ass!
26:16I've got something for your head!
26:18Excellent!
26:25We got it, cheesy-poop!
26:27Ah, kick-ass!
26:30Ah, don't be mad at me!
26:37Howdy-ho!
26:42Howdy-ho!
26:47Howdy-ho!
26:53I've got something for your ass!
27:05Thanks for having me win!
27:17We got it, cheesy-poop!
27:20Here we go! Stay calm, Egg!
27:46You're gonna be a trash can when I'm done with you!
28:05Ah, kick-ass!
28:17Eh...
28:22I've got something for your ass!
28:25We got it, cheesy-poop!
28:42Ah, kick-ass!
28:47What's up, Muffin?
28:49Thanks for having me win!
28:53I've got something for your ass!
28:59We got it, cheesy-poop!
29:04Ah, kick-ass!
29:13I've got something for your ass!
29:17Howdy-ho!
29:25We got it, cheesy-poop!
29:30Ah, don't be mad at me!
29:32Here we go! Stay calm, Egg!
29:40Eh...
29:46Ah, kick-ass!
29:49What's up, Muffin?
30:05I've got something for your ass!
30:10Move it!
30:11Egg!
30:12Next time you do that, I'm gonna chop off your wheelie, and put it on some bread, and feed it to Kitty!
30:22Thanks for having me win!
30:39We got it, cheesy-poop!
30:42Ah, kick-ass!
31:13Each table will only want one drink at a time, so only the first player to the table drops one off.
31:19The first player to deliver all their drinks is the winner!
31:23Let's give it our South Park best!
31:27Three, two, one, go!
31:30I'm gonna respect my authority!
31:33Move it!
31:37I'm not going to hit this thing!
31:41Beefcake!
31:53Not bad, Muffin!
31:56Eggy-poo!
32:00Kick-ass!
32:09And Egg is on target to save the place, again.
32:13On behalf of the Lemonade Stand, here is the winner of South Park's Best!
32:19The winner is...
32:21Muffin!
32:22Muffin!
32:23Muffin!
32:24Muffin!
32:25Muffin!
32:26Muffin!
32:27On behalf of the Lemonade Stand, here is the winner of South Park's Best Waiter Award!
32:33Our own Eric Kaufman!
32:41Well, for the third straight year, alien visitors have chosen to invade South Park over our three-day Memorial Day weekend,
32:48ruining our picnics and barbecues yet again.
32:51Well, anyway, Mephesto has built a ray gun for us to defend ourselves with.
32:56Race over the four checkpoints in order to charge the gun.
32:59The player who activates all four checkpoints will not only win the race, but will also save humanity!
33:06And I'll throw in five bucks to whoever wins!
33:11Three...
33:12Two...
33:13One...
33:14Go!
33:26Achoo!
33:28Hurts!
33:30Damn you!
33:31Finish him off!
33:33You suck!
33:36We got it, cheesy poop!
33:43Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
33:51This will help me win!
33:57I'm out of here!
34:05Finish him off!
34:07Check!
34:12V.K.!
34:14Thank you!
34:20Oh, fudge! You can't...
34:22Hot damn!
34:24You win!
34:27Ah, kick-ass!
34:35Next time you do that, I'm gonna chop off your wheelie stick and put it on some bread and feed it to Kitty!
34:42V.K.!
34:45You suck!
34:52Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
35:08Take two!
35:15Ow, man!
35:31Yes!
35:33This will help me win!
35:45I'm out of here!
35:50Finish him off!
36:02Excuse me for winning. I didn't have a choice.
36:05Congratulations to our winner and the person who has saved us all, our own Eric Kaufman!
36:19Happy Independence Day, everyone!
36:21In our Independence Day race, you must cross the checkpoints in numerical order.
36:27When you've crossed all four, it counts as one lap.
36:32The first player to complete the required number of laps is the winner!
36:36Be sure to avoid stray fireworks!
36:40Three, two, one...
36:43Go!
36:47Here we go! You win!
36:49I'm out of here!
36:57$10.28
37:00Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
37:03That's how you piss me off!
37:15This will help me win!
37:20I'm out of here!
37:24I'm kinda hungry.
37:26Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
37:30$10.28
37:34$10.28
37:40$10.28
37:45This will help me win!
37:50$10.28
37:53I'm out of here!
37:55Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
37:57Hooray!
38:19This will help me win!
38:28Take that!
38:36Ah, don't be mad, Eric!
38:47I'm out of here!
38:52$10.28
38:55Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
38:57Fish cake!
39:00I'm kinda hungry.
39:12This will help me win!
39:18I'm out of here!
39:25Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
39:28Take that!
39:37This will help me win!
39:51I'm out of here!
39:53If you had a superior marksman like me, maybe you wouldn't have a problem.
39:58God bless America!
40:00And our winner, our own Eric Kaufman!
40:09Happy Halloween!
40:11It's time to do some trick-or-treating.
40:13As everyone knows, the person with the most candy by curfew wins!
40:18Grab as much candy as you can and drop it at the candy station.
40:24Three, two, one, go!
40:44Management!
40:54Ah, kick-ass!
40:56Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
41:00Stay where you're going!
41:06I'm kinda hungry.
41:08I'm out of here!
41:12I've got something for your ass.
41:23Let it keep it!
41:37Ah, kick-ass!
41:41This will help me win!
41:43I've got something for your ass.
41:45Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
41:50I've got something for your ass.
41:53Let it keep it!
41:57Finish him up!
42:06Check!
42:14Shoot!
42:18Let it keep it!
42:24Ah, kick-ass!
42:29I've got something for your ass.
42:38Let it keep it!
42:40Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
42:49Yes!
42:51Yes!
42:53BK!
42:59Ah, kick-ass!
43:04I've got something for your ass.
43:06Here we go! Stay calm, Eric!
43:19Let it keep it!
43:27I'm out of here!
43:30I'm kinda hungry.
43:37I've got something for your ass.
43:39This will help me win!
43:51Finish him up!
44:07Let it keep it!
44:09Ah, kick-ass!
44:13I've got something for your ass.
44:26Check!
44:28Where's my Ultra Mega Mega Man?
44:33Here's the breakdown.
44:36Oh God, oh god, oh God,
44:38I don't like this.
44:40What the fuck?
44:43What are you?
44:54Follow me.
45:02You fucking traitor.
45:04Oh
45:07Three two one just go already
45:34Uh
45:55I'm outta here
46:04Oh
46:34Oh
47:04I'm going to kill you for it!
47:11I'm going to kill you for your ass!
47:17I'm going to kill you for your ass!
47:20I'm going to kill you for your ass!
47:25And Eric is on target to save the planet again.
47:30Well, where the hell is the press?
47:34Here's our Thanksgiving race results.
47:42Merry Christmas!
47:44Collect the presents and drive over the four checkpoints in order to win.
47:52Three, two, one, go!
48:01Hey!
48:03Watch it, brain donor!
48:05Oh my god!
48:07Get out of the way!
48:13This was a big win!
48:31Yeah!
48:39I'm out of here!
48:40Howdy ho!
48:48That met me!
48:52This will let me win!
48:55Yeah!
49:00I'm out of here!
49:06That met me!
49:08Wait!
49:10This will let me win!
49:23I'm out of here!
49:30That met me!
49:32Howdy ho!
49:41This will let me win!
49:48I'm out of here!
49:53That met me!
49:56This will let me win!
50:02Yeah!
50:08I'm out of here!
50:13That met me!
50:21This will let me win!
50:23Howdy ho!
50:29Kick ass!
50:40I'm out of here!
50:42I'm out of here!
50:50You're a superior marksman like me, maybe you wouldn't have a problem.
50:55In the spirit of giving, I give you the Christmas winner!
50:59Our own Eric Kaufman!
51:02To be continued...
51:333...
51:342...
51:351...
51:36GO!
52:03Got it!
52:05And it's keeping!
52:21Finish him off!
52:24Here we go, stay calm Eric!
52:27I'm out of here!
52:31That met me!
52:39I'm out of here!
52:47Finish him off!
52:57Here we go, stay calm Eric!
53:09That met me!
53:13I'm out of here!
53:21Finish him off!
53:27Here we go, stay calm Eric!
53:51Here we go, stay calm Eric!
53:56You're a superior marksman like me, maybe you wouldn't have a problem.
54:01Why don't we take a minute to congratulate our South Park Rally champion,
54:05our own Eric Kaufman!
54:26To be continued...
54:56To be continued...
55:26To be continued...
55:56To be continued...
56:26To be continued...