Trump Makes a Mess of Russia-Ukraine Peace Talks & Gets "Hot" for Kennedy Center | The Daily Show - Vídeo Dailymotion

Metatube

Jordan Klepper tackles Trump getting "hot" and heavy with the Kennedy Center, the government confirming RFK Jr. as health secretary, and the president fumbling peace negotiations between Russia and Ukraine before they even start.  #DailyShow #JordanKlepper #Trump  Subscribe to The Daily Show: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwWhs_6x42TyRM4Wstoq8HA/?sub_confirmation=1   Follow The Daily Show: Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheDailyShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedailyshow  Stream full episodes of The Daily Show on Paramount+: http://www.paramountplus.com/thedailyshow  Follow Comedy Central: Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComedyCentral Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ComedyCentral Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comedycentral  About The Daily Show: Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team host The Daily Show, an Emmy and Peabody Award-winning program analyzing the biggest stories in news, politics, and culture through a sharp, satirical lens. The Daily Show redefined the late night show category on TV and, with an audience of over 51M across social media platforms, has become a launching pad for some of the biggest stars in entertainment.   The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central.

Transcript

00:00Let's start with the big news from Donald Trump's cabinet.

00:03Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Trump's nominee for health secretary

00:07and guy currently fighting a vulture for his lunch,

00:11has been officially confirmed.

00:13Now...

00:15I know. I know. I know.

00:17They said it couldn't be done.

00:18Excuse me. They said it shouldn't be done.

00:21But now it has happened.

00:24So you can now add employment

00:26to the list of things he's tested positive for.

00:29But let's move on to a big development

00:31in the war in Ukraine.

00:33And remember, during the campaign,

00:35Donald Trump made some big promises

00:37about how quickly and easily he was going to end that war.

00:41If I'm president, I will have that war settled

00:44in one day, 24 hours.

00:45I would tell Putin, got to settle.

00:47I would tell Zelensky, you got to settle.

00:50I would get a settlement in 24 hours,

00:52no longer than one day.

00:54I can get it ended as president-elect.

00:56I will get it settled before I even become president.

01:00I'm gonna do it back to the future

01:02and end this war before it even starts.

01:05Go back in time, kiss my mom, maybe have sex with her.

01:08What am I talking about? What was I talking about?

01:11So here we are, one month into that first 24 hours,

01:15and Donald Trump is finally ready to negotiate.

01:19But it's gonna be tough, which is why he started out

01:21with a quick warm-up negotiation first.

01:24An old-fashioned prisoner swap with Russia.

01:26Let's see how it went.

01:27Russia freed a wrongfully detained American teacher,

01:30Mark Fogle returning to the U.S.

01:32after more than three years in Russian captivity,

01:35imprisoned for carrying a small amount

01:37of medically prescribed marijuana.

01:39In exchange, the U.S. releasing

01:40Russian cybercrime kingpin Alexander Vinik.

01:43What?

01:46You traded a cybercrime kingpin

01:49for public school teacher Mark Fogle?

01:51This is like if the Dallas Mavericks

01:53traded Luka Doncic

01:56for public school teacher Mark Fogle.

02:00I mean, at least the teacher we got back is the cool teacher.

02:04He smokes weed and he's been to jail.

02:06I mean, you know, you know he's showing movies

02:09in fourth period.

02:11Also, Americans, stop smoking weed in Russia.

02:16If you need to relax, try not being in Russia.

02:22Okay, okay, now that Trump got all warmed up,

02:24it's time for the main event.

02:26This morning, President Trump pledging to meet

02:29with Russian President Putin in person

02:31after announcing they've agreed to start negotiations

02:33immediately to end the war in Ukraine.

02:36President Trump saying, quote,

02:38I just had a lengthy and highly productive phone call

02:41with President Vladimir Putin of Russia.

02:43We discussed Ukraine, the Middle East,

02:46energy, artificial intelligence,

02:48and the power of the dollar and various other subjects.

02:52Oh, yeah, I-I'd like...

02:54I'd like to know what those various other subjects were.

03:00I mean, it's a tad suspicious.

03:02It's like a husband coming back

03:04from a Vegas bachelor party saying,

03:06yeah, we ate some great food, we saw the sphere,

03:09did various other things.

03:12Anyway, you should get a prescription for Valtrex.

03:17So, Trump has now set the stage

03:19for face-to-face negotiations with Putin

03:22on the future of Ukraine.

03:23But Trump won't be going into this alone.

03:25He also has Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth,

03:28a man who does not take no for an answer,

03:30according to police reports.

03:32So, get ready, Putin, because you're about to face

03:35the toughest negotiations of your life.

03:38Pete Hegseth speaking at NATO headquarters

03:40during his first trip to Europe was blunt,

03:43saying Ukraine's long-sought membership in NATO

03:46is not realistic.

03:48Neither is thinking Ukraine can regain all the territory

03:51Russia has seized.

03:52We must start by recognizing that returning

03:55to Ukraine's pre-2014 borders

03:58is an unrealistic objective.

04:00Measures that will likely be welcomed by Putin,

04:03prompting questions about whether Trump

04:05is giving up his leverage to negotiate with Russia.

04:07Speaking in unusually blunt terms,

04:10the German defense minister accusing

04:12the Trump administration of making concessions

04:15before these peace negotiations have even begun.

04:20Okay.

04:22So, before negotiations even start,

04:24America gave up the two things Russia most wants?

04:28I mean, how do Hegseth and Trump not know how to negotiate?

04:32Between the two of them, they've been divorced 97 times.

04:37I mean, if your opening move is giving away the house,

04:39the car, and the kids, best case scenario,

04:43you're leaving court with half of a Golden Retriever.

04:46I mean, no one's gonna be happy with that,

04:47except for maybe RFK Jr.

04:49But I guess there's still plenty of stuff to negotiate.

04:54For example, you know, which animal will Zelensky be fed to

04:57once the Russians take over?

04:59Probably a lion, but could be a shark, you know?

05:02There's room there.

05:04Whichever animal it is,

05:05it'll probably fall out of a window.

05:07Regardless, Trump is not gonna go driving a hard bargain

05:12on Ukraine's behalf, and that's fine.

05:13But as long as Ukraine is an equal member

05:15of this peace process, they'll get some of what they want.

05:19Do you view Ukraine as an equal member of this peace process?

05:24Um...

05:25That's an interesting question.

05:27Ha-ha-ha-ha!

05:29Yikes!

05:31That's like when my dentist asks if I floss.

05:33Ha!

05:36That's an interesting question.

05:37I-I got to go.

05:40Okay.

05:41So this is not looking good for Ukraine.

05:43Imagine not even being invited to your own peace negotiations.

05:47It's like if your wife told you she wanted a threesome

05:50and then asked what night she'll be away on business.

05:58Have so much fun, sweetie.

06:01I'm strong enough for this.

06:04It's okay. I had it coming after Vegas.

06:07Now, you might think it's unfair to put Ukraine in this position

06:10because they were the ones invaded,

06:12but that's not exactly how Trump sees things.

06:15I think they have to make peace.

06:17Their people are being killed,

06:18and I think they have to make peace.

06:20I said that was not a good war to go into.

06:26Not a good war to go into?

06:27They were invaded!

06:30It wasn't their idea!

06:32Little advice for the back of Abraham Lincoln's head.

06:35Don't get hit by a bullet. Not smart.

06:41Here.

06:44Clearly, this is going to be a complex negotiation,

06:47and it couldn't have come at a worse time for Trump,

06:50because he's also busy with his second job.

06:52Last week, he declared himself

06:54the chairman of Washington's Kennedy Center for the Arts,

06:57the government's premier arts institution.

06:59And if you're thinking,

07:01wait, Trump is completely unqualified

07:03to think about art, don't worry.

07:05He brought along an equally unqualified board

07:08to help him out.

07:09He was elected by a board that he recently shook up,

07:12replacing appointees by Democratic presidents

07:14with Trump loyalists.

07:15As for the board, it now includes

07:16Attorney General Pam Bondi,

07:18Second Lady Usha Vance, Chief of Staff Susie Wiles,

07:20Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Scamino,

07:22Alison Lettnick, who's the commerce secretary's wife.

07:25Okay, okay.

07:26First of all, what's up with this photo?

07:30-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪

07:33-♪ ♪

07:37Do you need a head shot of Mr. Scamino?

07:41Unfortunately, the only picture that exists of him

07:43is from when he walked in on his parents bumping uglies.

07:47But, hey, Donald Trump loves arts and entertainment,

07:51and you could hear his genuine passion

07:53in a phone call he had with the board.

07:55I think we're gonna do something very special.

07:58It got very wokey,

08:00and some people were not happy with it,

08:02and some people refused to go,

08:03and we're not gonna have that.

08:05We're gonna have something

08:06that will be very, very exciting,

08:07and we'll do things both physically

08:10and in every other way to make the building look even better.

08:14I think we're gonna make it hot.

08:15We made the presidency hot, so this should be easy.

08:19I'm sorry, hot?

08:21Only Trump would look at a building and go,

08:24eh, un-...able.

08:26-♪ ♪

08:28Yeah, performing arts centers have gotten very wokey,

08:32like that theater that kicked out Lauren Boebert

08:34for giving one little tug job.

08:37F...blocking it over the khaki jack set.

08:39She's not in my America.

08:42You heard Trump, though.

08:43No more woke theater.

08:45Only plays written by straight men, like...

08:48-♪ ♪

08:50-♪ ♪

08:52-♪ ♪

08:54-♪ ♪

08:56-♪ ♪

08:58Tennessee Williams?

09:00Damn it. So close.

09:02So what will Trump's new role mean for the Kennedy Center?

09:05We at The Daily Show just got our hands on an exclusive look

09:08at what we can expect.

09:09-♪ ♪

09:11The Kennedy Center,

09:12America's most prestigious home for the highest arts,

09:16is about to get hot.

09:19Sign up now for an all-new season

09:21designed by Chairman Trump.

09:24Screw off, twinkle toes,

09:25because all ballet will now be done by polls answers.

09:29Talk about a nutcracker.

09:32And join us for our cinema series,

09:34featuring every movie where a babe climbs out of a pool.

09:38Donald. Nike.

09:40And you bet your ass we'll have culture.

09:43Better culture.

09:44Like Hamilton, but with white people.

09:46A Raisin in the Sun, but with white people.

09:49And Chen Yun, but with white people.

09:52Plus, we'll award the Mark Twain Prize to Michael Richards,

09:56but not for Seinfeld, for his stand-up.

10:00And you know why.

10:02And next fall, we'll have an evening with Joni Mitchell.

10:06Boxing Jake Paul!

10:08So come to the hot new Kennedy Center,

10:10where even the building is hot.

10:12That's right, we gave it boobs!

10:15Not just two, like 20!

10:17The Donald Trump Kennedy Center and Casino.

10:20We got your culture right here.

Trump Makes a Mess of Russia-Ukraine Peace Talks & Gets "Hot" for Kennedy Center | The Daily Show

Categoría

Transcripción

Recomendada