Esta madre se siente sobrepasada en muchas ocasiones.
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00:00It's ringing on WhatsApp, do we have a phone call?
00:03Yes? Hello?
00:05Hi!
00:06Hi, how are you?
00:08Good, I'm Javiera, I'm a mom of Vicente de la Florencia,
00:13a 5-year-old twins.
00:15Already?
00:16And I, in stress, lock myself in the bathroom and cry a lot.
00:21Oh, but wait, because you cry.
00:23Are you at home? Are you with the kids? Do you lock yourself in the bathroom?
00:25No, no, no.
00:26You cry? How is it?
00:27Yes, yes, because of course, all of a sudden we are overwhelmed.
00:31Over us, as women, mothers, workers, entrepreneurs.
00:35Many times I am an entrepreneur, I am the owner of a son or daughter.
00:39So, also, one collapses.
00:42Javiera?
00:43The responsibility is on you.
00:45Javiera, your children are small, you told me, 5 years old?
00:48Yes, they are 5 years old.
00:50Already, 5 years old. But you also work.
00:53Yes, I am an entrepreneur.
00:55You are a saleswoman.
00:56No.
00:57Entrepreneur.
00:58Yes, I have two butcher shops.
01:01Hey, you have a lot.
01:03And how do you do it with the children?
01:05Do you also worry about going to school?
01:07Do you have someone who can help you?
01:09Suddenly a relative, your mother, your mother-in-law.
01:11Does someone help you?
01:12My mother-in-law.
01:13My mother-in-law is the one who helps us look for the children in the afternoon.
01:16The children go to school in the morning.
01:18Do you take them?
01:19At full time.
01:20We take them with the father in the morning.
01:22As we work in the same place, we take them early to school.
01:26And why?
01:27At 6 in the morning we start the routine.
01:29You leave them at school.
01:31I imagine that at that moment it gives you a relief, happiness.
01:36I imagine what you were telling them in advance.
01:38I imagine what you were telling them in advance.
01:40Get up!
01:41Get ready!
01:42Go to the bathroom!
01:43Go to the bathroom!
01:44It's terrible.
01:45It's terrible.
01:46I had never experienced that, really.
01:47I admire the mothers who have done it for so many years.
01:51I changed my schedule.
01:52I came to channel 13.
01:53I get up late.
01:54But it's terrible to start the day with them because they always want to comb their hair.
02:00They forget to brush their teeth.
02:03The breakfast.
02:04To brush their teeth.
02:05To comb their hair.
02:06I don't want to take them to school.
02:07And suddenly they don't want to get up either.
02:09Because they are lazy.
02:10With this pandemic they got a little lazy.
02:13Of course.
02:14That happens to me with my grandchildren.
02:17I actually praise my daughter.
02:19She is a great mother.
02:20I have four children.
02:21I have two women and two men.
02:22And I was a great mother too.
02:24But I praise her because she gets up at 4 or 7 in the morning.
02:28For breakfast.
02:29To leave the kids and come back.
02:31She is in charge of a business.
02:32An epic food that I have.
02:33She is the master cook.
02:34She has to go shopping.
02:35She has to come back.
02:36She has to do the laundry.
02:37She has to talk to the inspector.
02:38A lot of things.
02:39So, the truth is that it is very difficult now with the kids' hair.
02:44Priscila, I want to go back to the psychologist.
02:46What Javiera is talking about.
02:48When she locks herself in the bathroom crying.
02:51Is it good that the children suddenly see us as mothers?
02:54Like, you know what?
02:55I'm overweight.
02:56And make us cry.
02:57Because I do the same thing that she does.
02:59Sometimes I lock myself up so that they don't see me as vulnerable.
03:02Or that I'm overweight.
03:03But I don't know if it's good or bad that you see her.
03:05Look, there is no rule in this.
03:07But it's always good.
03:09The same thing I said before.
03:10To teach them what emotions are like.
03:12How emotions are.
03:13How they are constituted.
03:14How they are expressed in the body.
03:15What causes me such or such emotion.
03:18If I don't experience it and I don't show it, they will never learn.
03:21Even if they are so small.
03:22Because Javiera's is 5 years old.
03:24No problem.
03:25In fact, I want to congratulate Javiera.
03:26I congratulate you.
03:27I mean, it's perfect that she locks herself in the bathroom.
03:29Why?
03:30It's not that I'm contradicting myself.
03:31If I tell my son, you know what?
03:33I'm dead.
03:34I'm...
03:35Well, several words.
03:37I'm thirsty.
03:38I have to wash the dishes.
03:39I mean, I have to wait.
03:41I have to do what they know I have to do.
03:43And I've told them.
03:44I don't tolerate them taking a minute to leave when I'm going to look for them at a house.
03:48Whether it's 1 in the morning, 6 in the morning or 1 in the afternoon.
03:51I don't care.
03:52They have to be ready.
03:53So I warn them.
03:54Hey, I'm coming.
03:55Well, it's good.
03:56Because if not, they won't know how emotions are expressed.
03:59But it's not good if I tell them I'm overwhelmed.
04:03And if I also overflow.
04:05What is overflowing?
04:06I mean, hold your head.
04:08I mean, no, I can't take it anymore.
04:10That's overflowing.
04:11If I tell them, I'm sorry, I'm crying, I'm tired.
04:14Sometimes I feel like the day is harder than other days.
04:17But it's going to pass.
04:19That's overflowing.
04:20But I want to ask Javier specifically.
04:22When do you lock yourself in the bathroom?
04:24Maybe twice a week?
04:26Occasionally?
04:28Before locking yourself in the bathroom to cry, have you said something?
04:32Maybe out loud, very angry?
04:34How is it?
04:35Or in silence?
04:36Do you lock yourself in the bathroom?
04:37How is it?
04:39We have a code name, CoviMario.
04:40We spend the whole day together, we work together, and everything.
04:43Of course, sometimes kids don't pay attention.
04:46That's not the case.
04:47Even if you say, look, let's do this, let's do that.
04:50No, I don't want to, I do, I want to.
04:52Or they start arguing between the two.
04:54Both have the same thing.
04:55But both have completely different tastes.
04:57Sometimes they say they want to see a monkey,
04:59sometimes they want to paint,
05:00sometimes they want to ride their bicycles.
05:03So, when we are overwhelmed with work, the kids, we look at the house and we don't have anyone to help us with the laundry and that kind of thing.
05:11We get home and we see that it's messy. So, we say, let's see, breathe.
05:15We have to do the laundry, we have to bathe the kids, we have to put them to bed, we have to do a lot of things.
05:20And it's like, let's see, kids, let's do this. No, we don't want you to have anything left.
05:23So, we look at each other with my husband and I say, I'm going to wash the dishes, you go to bed.
05:27So, I kind of lock myself in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in whatever, and I stay there, like, in my minute of disconnection,
05:34of suddenly being able to breathe, cry when I need to, because I'm also a person.
05:40No one has taught me how to be a mom.
05:42So, it's also difficult, suddenly, to control this emotion that overflows you,
05:47and suddenly you want to look at it and say, let's see, let's see, let's see, I don't know what.
05:51And suddenly you look at them and you think they are five-year-old kids.
05:54They don't understand. I'm the mother.