As title
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I've always lived by the rules.
00:00:08Hey, save me one of those?
00:00:11Good morning.
00:00:12Morning.
00:00:13But lately, my current roommate has been making it difficult for me to do so.
00:00:30Whatever happened to the shirts on in the kitchen rule?
00:00:39That's not a real rule.
00:00:41Yeah, it's house rule number 16.
00:00:44No roommate shall hang around the apartment, topless, or bottomless, or both.
00:00:49But those are your rules.
00:00:50No, they're our rules. We agreed to them before you moved in.
00:00:54No, you wrote them down and asked if I agreed. Then I grunted. Not admissible in a court of law.
00:00:59Well, it's admissible in our kitchen. So, shirt on. So, shirt on.
00:01:04Or what?
00:01:05Or, I won't save you any waffles.
00:01:09Why didn't you start with that? Shirt coming right up.
00:01:13Did I seriously just ask him to cover up that six pack?
00:01:18I mean, Dylan has always been objectively hot. And it's not like I don't appreciate looking at him.
00:01:26Dylan and I have been friends for years, and I swear I've never seen him as anything more than that.
00:01:33Plus, he's a total player, and I know better than to get involved in games.
00:01:40Oh, man!
00:01:42You happy now? This is your fault.
00:01:44Oh, why? Because I made you put on a shirt like a normal person? Please.
00:01:49Don't worry. I get it.
00:01:51You get what?
00:01:52I understand why you have the no shirt on rule. What's so distracting for you otherwise?
00:01:56Oh, looks like we'll be needing a bigger apartment. Your ego needs its own room.
00:02:02You say ego, I say awesomeness. Tomato, tomato.
00:02:05All I know is that it's time for house rule number 22. The cook doesn't clean.
00:02:10Let me just help you out here.
00:02:11Oh, okay. Yeah.
00:02:12Sorry. I'm gonna get that. You get this one.
00:02:15You get this one.
00:02:18Okay.
00:02:19All right.
00:02:20Yeah.
00:02:23Let me just help.
00:02:24Sorry.
00:02:25It's okay.
00:02:26I'm gonna go take a shower.
00:02:29Uh-huh.
00:02:30Okay.
00:02:31Need any help?
00:02:32I know he's joking, but my whole body just blushed.
00:02:35Um, yeah. No. No.
00:02:38You know, one of these days I'm gonna say yes just to freak you out.
00:02:42On that day, I'll take you up on your offer. That's why I keep asking.
00:02:45What on earth? Is he serious?
00:02:50Yeah, that's funny. That's funny.
00:03:03What happened back there? Was he joking or flirting?
00:03:08Was I? Nope.
00:03:11Cool it, Emma. Remember the house rule.
00:03:30Just what I needed to calm down.
00:03:34Oh, no. My bathrobe isn't here.
00:03:37A major violation of house rule number eight.
00:03:40Robes, not towels, after showers.
00:03:43What do I do?
00:03:44Okay. Uh, I just have to get to my bedroom before Dylan sees me.
00:03:58He must still be in the kitchen washing dishes.
00:04:04Oh!
00:04:06I hate my life.
00:04:26Holy mother of...
00:04:34Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
00:04:36I was just grabbing my robe, you know. House rule number eight.
00:04:39Do you want me to put the waffles in the freezer?
00:04:41No, no. Don't worry about it. I'll do it.
00:04:45I can't believe Dylan just saw me naked.
00:04:48I wonder if he liked it.
00:04:50Wait. Why do I care if he liked it?
00:04:53Oh, God. Who am I kidding?
00:04:56My heart races whenever Dylan walks into a room with or without a shirt.
00:05:01Why is he looking at me like that?
00:05:15Where are the leftover waffles?
00:05:17In the freezer. House rule number 22, remember?
00:05:19You cooked, so I clean.
00:05:21House rule number 22, remember?
00:05:23You cooked, so I clean.
00:05:25House rule number 22, remember?
00:05:27You cooked, so I clean.
00:05:29Well, I never stopped you from cleaning.
00:05:31You just didn't know where the waffles went, so I needed to show you, because...
00:05:34Emma.
00:05:35What?
00:05:36I have a question about your house rules.
00:05:39Okay.
00:05:40I think it's time we go over some of them together.
00:05:43What's the point in doing that? You ignore most of them anyway.
00:05:46But you don't ignore them.
00:05:48So what are you getting at?
00:05:49House rule number 19.
00:05:52Roommates shall never date?
00:05:54Yeah, that one.
00:05:55I think it's time I told you.
00:05:57Yeah, that one.
00:05:58I think it's time I had more input on the house rules.
00:06:00And my first action as co-rulemaker will be to delete house rule number 19 from the list.
00:06:06So what are you trying to say, Dylan?
00:06:09I think you know, Emma.
00:06:11Well, rule number 19 is there for a reason.
00:06:14What reason?
00:06:15I mean, if anything were to happen between us, it wouldn't last.
00:06:20And how would we live together after that?
00:06:22Why wouldn't it last?
00:06:23Wait, let me guess.
00:06:24You think I'm a player.
00:06:27Let's just say that ego of yours is well-fed.
00:06:34What if I told you that the reason I go on all these dates was because I'm trying to find someone?
00:06:38Anyone who would compare to the girl I was really into.
00:06:41No one could ever compare to her.
00:06:43What are you saying?
00:06:45Emma, I secretly love your house rules.
00:06:48Not only is it adorable to watch you try to keep me in line,
00:06:52but the rules are just so... you.
00:06:56What, strict and uptight?
00:06:58Thoughtful and clever.
00:07:00And you're funny when you don't even know it.
00:07:02But most important, your house rules makes this apartment...
00:07:07home.
00:07:09All these years, we've been right in front of each other, but the rules have kept us apart.
00:07:14I'd like to propose a new house rule.
00:07:16Yeah? What's that?
00:07:18The secret kiss rule.
00:07:21Roommates are allowed to kiss, just once, to see if their feelings are worth the risk.
00:07:26The risk of what? Abolishing house rule number 19?
00:07:31I'm worried about our friendship.
00:07:33Of course. I am too.
00:07:36But this thing between us feels powerful, Emma.
00:07:39It feels real.
00:07:41So I think...
00:07:42You should try.
00:07:44So I think...
00:07:45You should try.
00:07:50Okay.
00:08:00Thank you for casting your vote.
00:08:02My vote?
00:08:03Yeah, your vote to abolish house rule number 19.
00:08:07I don't think...
00:08:08Hey, no take backs.
00:08:10No, I'm not taking it back.
00:08:12I'm just saying that my kiss doesn't necessarily count as a vote.
00:08:17This counts as a vote.
00:08:20I guess in the end, it's the rules that brought us together.
00:08:25Dylan, De La Rosa, I vote that we risk it all for us.
00:08:33Alright then. It's official. New rule. No more house rule number 19.
00:08:41And who am I to argue with the rules?
00:08:55I can't believe you're making me do this.
00:08:58You better believe I'm getting you back good next time.
00:09:00Seeing you dance will be worth it.
00:09:03Get moving.
00:09:05Get moving.
00:09:09Come on.
00:09:11Shake that ass.
00:09:13Shake that ass.
00:09:33Get it, Dylan.
00:09:35You like that?
00:09:38And I think we should dance together when I get home.
00:09:42Oh yeah?
00:09:51Sorry, Mrs. Davenport.
00:09:56Okay, that was amazing.
00:09:58If by amazing, you mean humiliating.
00:10:00Yes, it was.
00:10:02You asked for a dare. You get a dare.
00:10:07I know I said this already, but...
00:10:12I seriously wish I was home right now with you.
00:10:15Why? So you can yell at me for drinking out of the carton?
00:10:18No, so we can spend Valentine's together.
00:10:22I know, baby. We'll be together soon.
00:10:24So, truth or dare?
00:10:29Do you have to ask? Truth.
00:10:32Okay.
00:10:37Do you remember the first time we kissed?
00:10:43Of course.
00:10:45Was that the first time you wanted to kiss me?
00:10:49No.
00:10:51So when? Was it when we first got together?
00:10:54No. Not that either.
00:10:59It was during that snowstorm we had a few years back.
00:11:02I was so sick, and you had a date with, uh...
00:11:07with Jenna Stevens from chemistry.
00:11:11Ah, Jenna.
00:11:13Anyway, you cancelled it just to keep me company.
00:11:18I felt so feverish, but we didn't have a thermometer,
00:11:23and you told me how in your family, if someone says they're burning up,
00:11:27you kiss them on the forehead to check.
00:11:30Lips are sensitive.
00:11:32It's better than using the back of your hand on someone's forehead.
00:11:35I told you it was a stupid idea that I could get you sick.
00:11:38But I did it anyway.
00:11:40Yeah, and all I wanted to do was tilt my head back and press my lips to yours.
00:11:49But I was also scared.
00:11:52I was scared too.
00:11:54But I'm glad I thought about the forehead kiss,
00:11:56even though I ended up getting sick anyway.
00:11:59See? You should have listened to me.
00:12:02Oh, uh, hold on a sec.
00:12:10Oh my gosh!
00:12:14Dylan!
00:12:16This is so sweet!
00:12:18You like them?
00:12:19They're beautiful!
00:12:22What are they?
00:12:23They're flowers. They grow out of the ground.
00:12:26Shut up. You know what I mean.
00:12:28They're called the Queen Emma Lily.
00:12:30That's why they're so beautiful and delicate and unique.
00:12:34Sensitive.
00:12:35I told you to shut up.
00:12:37You know what you're doing to me.
00:12:39You know what you're doing to me.
00:12:41I know, and I wish I could help you out with that.
00:12:44I love them.
00:12:46No one's ever bought me flowers before.
00:12:49And what's this?
00:12:51Is this my mysterious gift you were talking about?
00:12:54Uh-uh. That's for later.
00:12:58You're seriously too much.
00:13:00I never knew you were the type of guy to send flowers.
00:13:03Hey, I'm not just a chiseled bar.
00:13:06I've been known to be romantic.
00:13:10To whom?
00:13:12To whom?
00:13:13Marsha. That's her name.
00:13:15Marsha?
00:13:18Wait. Marsha Mason?
00:13:21You slept with my co-worker?
00:13:23Haven't we discussed this?
00:13:25No.
00:13:27I introduced you to her at my office party
00:13:30and you both acted like you didn't know each other.
00:13:33That was so long ago. I don't even remember.
00:13:36So you don't remember if you slept with her?
00:13:40Emma.
00:13:41I dare you to tell me.
00:13:42Did you have sex with Marsha?
00:13:44Emma.
00:13:45I dare you to tell me.
00:13:46Did you have sex with Marsha?
00:13:48We got together way before you and I ever hooked up.
00:13:51Just tell me.
00:13:53Fine. Yes.
00:13:54We did. Once.
00:13:56Well, maybe a few times.
00:13:59But it was all in one night.
00:14:00So, silver lining?
00:14:05How many people do I know that you've slept with?
00:14:07Jenna Stevens?
00:14:08Don't ask me that.
00:14:09Gross! My sister?
00:14:11Come on, no.
00:14:13Mrs. Davenport?
00:14:14Ew! She's old enough to be my grandmother.
00:14:17Well, seems like you're not too discerning.
00:14:19Emma, come on.
00:14:21You know what?
00:14:22Try not to f**k anybody else until I'm ready to talk to you again.
00:14:25Wha-
00:14:52I'm sorry, babe.
00:15:03Marsha, it was so long ago.
00:15:05I told you, back then I had this hole in my heart.
00:15:08And I looked everywhere to find something to fill it.
00:15:11It meant nothing.
00:15:14It was painful, because I should have been with you.
00:15:17Well, now you are.
00:15:20So, we're okay?
00:15:22I shouldn't have gotten so mad.
00:15:24No, I shouldn't have brought it up. It was stupid.
00:15:28Yeah, it was pretty stupid.
00:15:31Well, we do have a game to finish.
00:15:34Dylan, I'm not really in the mood.
00:15:36Just play along, please.
00:15:38Okay, fine. Truth or dare?
00:15:42Truth.
00:15:43Wow, really?
00:15:45Really.
00:15:46Okay.
00:15:47Hmm.
00:15:50Tell me about one of those lover secrets.
00:15:53Tell me about one of those lover secrets.
00:15:56Okay, here's a secret.
00:15:58I love you.
00:16:00Like, really, really love.
00:16:03Like, I can't breathe kind of love.
00:16:07This Valentine, what I really want to give you is my heart.
00:16:15What? Too sappy?
00:16:17No, it's just...
00:16:22I wanted to tell you so bad, but I was nervous.
00:16:24I love you, Dylan.
00:16:27You know what?
00:16:28This Valentine's Day hasn't been so bad after all.
00:16:31Yeah, even though we're apart, it's been a pretty good day.
00:16:36I miss you.
00:16:37I miss you, babe.
00:16:39Are you ready to open your present?
00:16:41Yes.
00:16:46Ooh!
00:16:50Bubble bath and candle?
00:16:54Ooh, me likes, me likes.
00:16:58You're welcome, beautiful.
00:17:00You feeling dirty?
00:17:03Dirty?
00:17:06Oh, this is exactly what I needed.
00:17:11Happy Valentine's Day, baby.
00:17:14Best Valentine's Day ever.
00:17:17Now, show me something.
00:17:21Emma!
00:17:23Emma, what happened?
00:17:25Look what I found in a drawer in Dylan's room!
00:17:32I never took you for a thong, girl.
00:17:34I'm not! These aren't mine!
00:17:37So why would they be in Dylan's room?
00:17:39Amanda!
00:17:41Okay, um, let's not jump to any conclusions.
00:17:47Why were you looking in his room?
00:17:50I wasn't looking around. I was just doing laundry.
00:17:54You do his laundry?
00:17:56We do each other's laundry, Amanda.
00:17:59We take turns doing stuff around the house.
00:18:01That's what a...
00:18:03That's what a relationship is?
00:18:06I guess that's why I avoid them.
00:18:09Are you sure they're not yours?
00:18:11Amanda, I was at my parents' house all last week.
00:18:14I mean, he clearly had someone over.
00:18:17Someone who wears sexier panties than me.
00:18:21Okay, I said no jumping to conclusions.
00:18:24And please, never say the word panties again.
00:18:27Amanda, what other explanation could there possibly be?
00:18:30Maybe they're from, like, an old fling from, like, a while back.
00:18:35Maybe they're from, like, an old fling from, like, a while back.
00:18:39And then he just stuffed them in a drawer, out of sight, out of mind.
00:18:43That doesn't make sense.
00:18:45Why not just throw them out?
00:18:47Unless...
00:18:49Unless he's still into her!
00:18:51I really don't think so.
00:18:53I mean, he just told you he loved you. That's serious, E.
00:18:56Maybe that was just his guilt talking.
00:18:58Nuh-uh, nuh-uh. I'm not about to let you wallow in this pity party
00:19:02until we have some actual proof that something's up.
00:19:06But how?
00:19:08You say he's gonna be gone a while?
00:19:10I mean, I guess.
00:19:13Then it's time to investigate, girl.
00:19:15There might be some actual evidence in there.
00:19:17You mean, snoop around in his stuff?
00:19:20You mean, snoop around in his stuff?
00:19:23Some people might call it snooping,
00:19:25but I like to call it searching for the truth.
00:19:43Ooh! Ew!
00:19:45Ew!
00:19:48Ugh! New health rule? Don't be gross.
00:19:52Blech!
00:19:54What are you even looking for down there?
00:19:56I mean, it's not like women still write their numbers on, like, notes in napkins.
00:20:01Call me. XOXO.
00:20:03That's so old school.
00:20:05Just want to check.
00:20:07But I don't know. There's nothing.
00:20:10Maybe it is just a thong from some old fling.
00:20:13Maybe.
00:20:17But you have separate bathrooms?
00:20:32For someone who's such a neat freak, you're an expert at wrecking shit.
00:20:42It's a strawberry-flavored condom?
00:20:46He's cheating on me with a stripper?
00:20:48Well, maybe he bought it for you, you know, to spice things up a little.
00:20:52Flavored condoms can be fun.
00:20:55No, no, no, we don't use condoms.
00:20:57I have a pill.
00:20:59This is more evidence, right?
00:21:02I mean, I guess.
00:21:04But go you with the raw dog.
00:21:06He didn't even try to hide it.
00:21:08He just left it in plain sight.
00:21:10It was in his private bathroom cabinet behind his deodorant
00:21:15where anyone could see it.
00:21:19Sorry.
00:21:22What's the paper it was wrapped in?
00:21:24It's a note.
00:21:27Glad you could use my services?
00:21:30Call me when she's away again?
00:21:32XOXO, Brittany?
00:21:34And there's a phone number here.
00:21:36Oh, shit.
00:21:38People still actually write notes?
00:21:40Annie kept it?
00:21:43I'm gonna kill him.
00:21:45Well, you won't have to do it alone.
00:21:47I'm coming over.
00:21:49Amanda, I...
00:21:52Why would he do this?
00:21:54I don't know, Annie.
00:21:56But no matter what, you're gonna be okay.
00:21:59I don't know.
00:22:02I have to call Dylan and tell him about what I found.
00:22:06You want me to come over?
00:22:08I was serious, you know.
00:22:10Maybe, yeah.
00:22:13If talking to Dylan goes south, I'm gonna need a girl's night.
00:22:17And someone to help me throw all this shit out into the street.
00:22:21Is that part of the house rules?
00:22:23Cheaters will be forcibly removed from the premises.
00:22:28We're gonna add it.
00:22:30Well, just let me know.
00:22:32I'm here for you.
00:22:34Thanks, Annie.
00:22:35And if he is cheating, screw him.
00:22:39Don't.
00:22:40Or screw him good one last time and then kick him to the curb.
00:22:44He is really hot.
00:22:46I will.
00:22:48Or I won't.
00:22:50Bye.
00:22:51Bye, girl.
00:22:52Good luck.
00:23:01Hey, babe.
00:23:02So I went ahead and got us tacos.
00:23:05I know it's not Tuesday, but...
00:23:10Hey, what's wrong?
00:23:12Look, I know my room's a mess.
00:23:14Dylan, I found a thong.
00:23:17Guess what?
00:23:18I booked that commercial.
00:23:20Great.
00:23:21I found a thong.
00:23:23So what do you say you and I celebrate tonight?
00:23:26And, uh...
00:23:27Yo, yo, yo, yo!
00:23:30Yo, are you serious right now, bro?
00:23:32Are you serious?
00:23:34I'm sorry, man.
00:23:35I didn't know.
00:23:36Why don't you take your eyes out of your ass so you can see where you're going next time, man?
00:23:40I'm so sorry.
00:23:41I had no idea.
00:23:42Yeah, you sorry.
00:23:43What am I supposed to do now?
00:23:45You just ruined my pies.
00:23:47No, but I...
00:23:48Black pies matter, bro.
00:23:50What am I gonna do now?
00:23:51What am I gonna do now?
00:23:53I don't know, but whatever you need, I'll pay for it.
00:23:55I'm sorry.
00:23:56No, no, no.
00:23:57Don't touch my slices, man.
00:23:58Go somewhere, do your pilates, do what you do.
00:24:01What do you need?
00:24:02You want me to pay for anything?
00:24:03No.
00:24:04Just go, man.
00:24:05Go somewhere else, man.
00:24:06Thanks.
00:24:07Just go ahead, Abercrombie and Fitch.
00:24:12That was quick.
00:24:13Everything okay?
00:24:14No.
00:24:15I didn't even get it out.
00:24:16Why?
00:24:17Just...
00:24:18He...
00:24:19Just...
00:24:20Just...
00:24:21Stuff happened, okay?
00:24:22Just don't push me, okay?
00:24:23Okay.
00:24:26I'm sorry, Amanda.
00:24:27It's not you.
00:24:29It's just...
00:24:31I don't ever want to see him again.
00:24:33Well, you won't have to.
00:24:34I'm going to be leaving my place soon.
00:24:36He won't come near you or that apartment.
00:24:39Thanks, A.
00:24:40I know you really love him.
00:24:42I do.
00:24:44I really thought he was different.
00:24:46We all did.
00:24:47He got us all fooled.
00:24:48But I'm about to leave soon.
00:24:50Don't do anything stupid, okay?
00:24:53Don't do anything stupid, okay?
00:25:05Hi.
00:25:06Are you the casting director?
00:25:08No.
00:25:09I'm Emma.
00:25:10Dylan's girlfriend.
00:25:12Well, soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.
00:25:15Who's Dylan?
00:25:20Oh.
00:25:22Right.
00:25:23That Dylan.
00:25:26Ex?
00:25:27Huh?
00:25:28Oh, yeah.
00:25:29Yeah.
00:25:30Yeah.
00:25:31Yeah.
00:25:32Ex?
00:25:33Huh?
00:25:34So sorry to hear you guys broke up.
00:25:38Oh, don't give me that bullshit.
00:25:40You left your disgusting thong here.
00:25:42And a note!
00:25:44I wanted Dylan to have something to remember me by.
00:25:48I can't believe this.
00:25:50Can you blame me?
00:25:52Dylan's hot.
00:25:54Well, I thought he was more than just hot.
00:25:56I thought he was a really great guy.
00:25:58And I thought what we had was special.
00:26:00I can't believe he just threw it all away to cheat.
00:26:03With you.
00:26:05Wait.
00:26:06You think he cheated?
00:26:08Uh, yeah.
00:26:10The thong.
00:26:11The note.
00:26:12The condom ready to go.
00:26:15Plus, you just admitted it.
00:26:17No.
00:26:18I admit I left my panties.
00:26:21Don't say panties.
00:26:22And your strawberry-flavored condom.
00:26:25And the strawberry-flavored condom.
00:26:27It was my last one.
00:26:29I was really trying to impress him.
00:26:32So, you left a condom here, but you didn't f*** my boyfriend?
00:26:36No.
00:26:37Unfortunately.
00:26:39So, why'd you leave a condom?
00:26:41So he would know I was DTF.
00:26:44But you know, safe about it.
00:26:47That's probably the sluttiest thing I've ever heard.
00:26:50What are you, like an escort or something?
00:26:52Excuse me?
00:26:53No, I'm not.
00:26:55Who the hell do you think you are?
00:26:56Well, I don't get it.
00:26:58Your note says, glad you can use my services.
00:27:01Look, chill out.
00:27:03I run a cleaning service.
00:27:05Dylan hired me to clean your apartment while you were away.
00:27:08Because, you know, he's kind of lazy and gross.
00:27:12He was trying to impress you.
00:27:15But you were gone, and he was cute, so I made my move.
00:27:19He was cute, so I made my move.
00:27:22But he turned me down.
00:27:23Which, I know.
00:27:25Shocker.
00:27:27I'm not used to getting rejected.
00:27:29So, the thong?
00:27:31Figured he might change his mind and give me a call if he saw what he was missing.
00:27:35I did your laundry, too.
00:27:38Even though he said you would just do it again because you're like OCD or something.
00:27:42You know, you have a lot of grainy panties.
00:27:46There are other underwear.
00:27:48You know, like cheeky or thong or...
00:27:50Never ask for your opinion.
00:27:51Never ask for your opinion?
00:27:53So, he never called you?
00:27:56He did not.
00:27:58And you swear you're telling me the truth?
00:28:01Ugh, yes.
00:28:03In fact, all he could talk about was how much he missed you and your stupid house rules.
00:28:08It was actually pretty annoying.
00:28:10Now, if we're done here, I'm waiting on a vid callback for a Gosling movie, so I'm gonna bounce.
00:28:15But if you do break up with Dylan, tell him to call me.
00:28:21Ugh.
00:28:33Sorry, babe. That was a mess.
00:28:36I think we should probably order in tonight.
00:28:39And do some laundry.
00:28:41My shirt is pretty much ruined.
00:28:43Who says you need a shirt?
00:28:45Well, what a lady wants, a lady gets.
00:28:48Oh, and what were you saying about a thong?
00:28:51Oh, um...
00:28:53I was just thinking about wearing one for you.
00:28:57I thought you might be tired of granny panties.
00:29:01Frisky.
00:29:03Who says you need any underwear at all?
00:29:05Dylan!
00:29:07What? A man can dream, can't he?
00:29:09Maybe I'll get lucky?
00:29:11With you, every day is lucky.
00:29:13Aw, babe. You must be having a nice day.
00:29:16Yep, it's been great.
00:29:18Well, I'm almost home, so your day's about to get even better.
00:29:24What's wrong?
00:29:29Why is Amanda in front of our building with a baseball bat?
00:29:34Oh, uh...
00:29:36You should run.
00:29:38Dylan!
00:29:40Yeah, you should get out of there.
00:29:42I just have a couple questions for you, you know? Come here!
00:29:45Let's have a chat, Dylan!
00:29:46Dylan, where are you going?
00:29:48Dylan, I don't have time for you, sir!
00:29:50Not with my best friend!
00:29:52Dogs and cheating? Are you kidding me?
00:29:56Okay, so...
00:29:58What do you think?
00:30:00No.
00:30:02That is not appropriate for a job interview.
00:30:04What if I...
00:30:06wore a cardigan with it?
00:30:09Man...
00:30:11You shot down every outfit I own.
00:30:13I'm just being honest with you.
00:30:15Maybe too honest.
00:30:17What's that supposed to mean?
00:30:19Ever since I applied for this job, you've been trashing it.
00:30:22I'm just being real with you.
00:30:24Babe, assistant to the CEO of Vanguard Models?
00:30:29This could be huge!
00:30:31And you're not being supportive.
00:30:33Me telling you the truth is being supportive.
00:30:36If you hated Vanguard so much, why did you work for them?
00:30:39It was a good gig.
00:30:40And they treated the talent, me, like royalty.
00:30:44But they treated the staff like shit.
00:30:46I don't want you lumped in with everyone else.
00:30:48Oh, so I'm everyone else.
00:30:51My job isn't as important
00:30:53because I'm not in front of the camera
00:30:55like one of your model friends?
00:30:57That is not what I meant.
00:30:59That is not what I meant.
00:31:01Uh-huh, sure.
00:31:05What about this one?
00:31:06What about this one?
00:31:11Last time I wore this, you said I look stunning.
00:31:14Yeah, but it's just too...
00:31:17Professional? Flattering?
00:31:19Perfectly appropriate for an interview?
00:31:22Look, if you don't want my opinion, don't ask for it.
00:31:25Oh, I know what this is about.
00:31:28Oh yeah, what's that?
00:31:30You're jealous of Chris Monroe.
00:31:33I am not.
00:31:34He was voted one of Style Magazine's
00:31:36most eligible bachelors.
00:31:38Two, his modeling company
00:31:40is one of the most followed accounts on Insta.
00:31:43He's one of the youngest, richest CEOs in the country.
00:31:47And, if I get hired,
00:31:49I'm going to be spending all day, every day with him.
00:31:53So, um, yeah, I'd say you're probably pretty jealous.
00:31:57That guy's a class-A douche-nozzle.
00:31:59A what?
00:32:01I'm secure in our relationship.
00:32:02I'd never worry about you falling for that guy.
00:32:05So then what's your issue?
00:32:07So then what's your issue?
00:32:09My issue is that you're not chasing your dreams.
00:32:12I want you to be happy.
00:32:14No one lands their dream job in their twenties.
00:32:17I need experience first.
00:32:19You have tons of experience.
00:32:21We met on set, remember?
00:32:23You were interning for that ad agency.
00:32:25You were modeling that dumb speedo.
00:32:27More like super hot speedo.
00:32:29And, I kept catching you
00:32:30sneaking off to the craft services table.
00:32:33My point is, you have tons of experience.
00:32:36You just need to put yourself out there.
00:32:38When we first met,
00:32:40you told me you wanted to start your own agency.
00:32:43I still do.
00:32:45Okay, so what's holding you back?
00:32:47It's not that easy.
00:32:49Of course it is.
00:32:51You're smart, well-connected,
00:32:53and you have an incredibly gorgeous boyfriend cheering you on.
00:32:56What are you so scared of?
00:32:57Okay, what about this one?
00:33:00Still no.
00:33:03Are you seriously policing my clothes right now?
00:33:06I can look out for myself, thanks.
00:33:08I know you can,
00:33:10but do you really want to work for someone like that?
00:33:12Seriously, ask him why his assistant left.
00:33:15It's a tough industry.
00:33:17Not everyone can hack it.
00:33:19Listen, I can be home in twenty minutes.
00:33:22Skip the interview,
00:33:24and we'll come up with plans for you to start your own agency.
00:33:26Will you just stop, please?
00:33:29Emma, I know you're scared.
00:33:31Dylan, you don't know anything.
00:33:33You don't know what it's like.
00:33:35All you do is just stand in front of the camera and look hot.
00:33:38Well, some of us have to actually work for a living.
00:33:42I gotta go.
00:33:44I would say wish me luck,
00:33:46but I know you wouldn't mean it.
00:33:48Emma.
00:33:50I gotta go.
00:33:51I gotta go.
00:34:01I take it you're Emma.
00:34:03Chris Monroe.
00:34:05Hi, Chris.
00:34:07It's great to see you, Emma.
00:34:09Is now still a good time to chat?
00:34:11Definitely.
00:34:13I've been looking forward to this all week.
00:34:15Alright, great.
00:34:17Well, let's get started then.
00:34:19So, I was impressed with your resume.
00:34:21You have the best agency in the city.
00:34:23Yes, I've seen it all.
00:34:25The good and the bad.
00:34:28Well, let's focus on the good, shall we?
00:34:31And why don't you start by telling me
00:34:33about your most memorable experience in the industry.
00:34:36Well, as you saw on my resume,
00:34:38I used to work for Perception.
00:34:42Last year, we booked a major holiday shoot,
00:34:45and the client wanted to go for your typical
00:34:48aesthetic, really tall, thin women
00:34:51and lean, muscular men.
00:34:53But I suggested we take a different approach.
00:34:57I wanted to go for a more diverse array of models.
00:35:01You know, really push for representation.
00:35:04It was something that Perception had never done before.
00:35:08And, well, they went for it.
00:35:11It was a super successful campaign.
00:35:14And it shows that you can be inclusive
00:35:16and still be profitable.
00:35:19Well, I'll tell you what, Emma.
00:35:22I like your spirit.
00:35:24Wow, thank you.
00:35:26That means so much coming from you.
00:35:28Vanguard is so impressive.
00:35:30I agree.
00:35:32I'd even say we're the best.
00:35:34Well, there's no such thing.
00:35:39There's always room for improvement.
00:35:42Top companies can always strive to be better.
00:35:45Even Vanguard.
00:35:47Oh? And what would you do better?
00:35:51Well, I did notice that there's not a whole lot of diversity.
00:35:58Wow, you really like that word, huh?
00:36:01Diversity.
00:36:03Um, I noticed that there's not a whole lot of it
00:36:06on your social media in particular.
00:36:08Think of all the work you could do with plus-size models
00:36:12and models of different gender identities.
00:36:16Let me stop you right there, Emma.
00:36:18Vanguard is the best because we stick with what works.
00:36:21Conventional models, conventional looks.
00:36:24You have the opportunity to change the world with your platform.
00:36:28Right, we're not trying to change the world.
00:36:31We're trying to make money.
00:36:33And we're pretty darn good at it.
00:36:35Plus, we donate plenty of that money to charity
00:36:37so the SJWs don't cancel us on social media.
00:36:40I'm not talking about charity.
00:36:42I'm talking about making a systemic difference.
00:36:46You know, shifting the paradigm.
00:36:49So we're clear.
00:36:51As my assistant, it won't be your job to make a systemic difference.
00:36:55It'll be your job to keep me happy.
00:36:57You book my flights, you keep me on schedule.
00:37:00Accompany me to social events.
00:37:02I understand.
00:37:04Alright, good.
00:37:06Now, just one last thing.
00:37:08Could you stand up for me?
00:37:10What?
00:37:12We have a certain standard here at Vanguard.
00:37:13My assistant needs to have the whole package.
00:37:16And so far, I mean, it looks like you do.
00:37:19I need to get a better sense of your...
00:37:21your assets.
00:37:28Okay, look, let's not beat around the bush here.
00:37:30You're an incredibly attractive woman.
00:37:32I'm a pretty good-looking guy myself.
00:37:35We'll be working very closely together
00:37:37and I just want to make sure that, you know...
00:37:39You know what?
00:37:41I'm no longer interested in this position.
00:37:43Or any position with you, for that matter.
00:37:46Excuse me?
00:37:48Do you know what? F*** you!
00:37:50Excuse me?
00:37:52Do you know what? F*** you!
00:38:13Hey, babe. That was quick.
00:38:17Everything go okay?
00:38:19I mean, you're like beyond qualified for the job.
00:38:21I hung up on him.
00:38:23You did what?
00:38:25I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:38:27You were right.
00:38:29That guy was such a...
00:38:31What do you call him?
00:38:33Douchenazo?
00:38:35Right. That.
00:38:37He completely shit all over my ideas for inclusivity.
00:38:40And then...
00:38:41He was such a creep.
00:38:43He told me to stand up so he could check out my assets.
00:38:47I'm gonna kick his ass.
00:38:49No need. I already hung up on him.
00:38:52Oh my God.
00:38:54I hung up on him.
00:38:56Oh my God.
00:38:58I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:39:00He can end my career.
00:39:02I can't believe I did that. That was so stupid.
00:39:04Oh my God.
00:39:06I hung up on Chris Monroe.
00:39:08He can end my career.
00:39:09I can't believe I did that. That was so stupid.
00:39:12I'm so freaking proud of you, babe.
00:39:14What?
00:39:16You stood up for what you believe in.
00:39:18You put that asshole in his place.
00:39:20Man, I wish I could have seen the look on his face when you hung up on him.
00:39:23Pretty sure it's never happened to him before.
00:39:26He was like...
00:39:31Oh man.
00:39:33Maybe I should have been more professional about it.
00:39:36You know what? No.
00:39:37No regrets.
00:39:39I could never work for a douche nozzle like that.
00:39:42There you go. That's my girl.
00:39:45I guess you want to say I told you so.
00:39:48For what?
00:39:50You did nothing wrong. He's the a-hole.
00:39:53You want to know a secret?
00:39:55I may have been a teeny tiny bit jealous.
00:39:58Of Chris Monroe?
00:40:00Have you seen that man with his shirt off?
00:40:03I don't need to see pictures.
00:40:04I have my own eye candy at home.
00:40:08Eye candy, huh?
00:40:10Okay, okay.
00:40:12Don't let it get to your head.
00:40:14Too late.
00:40:16Speaking of candy, what if we skip dinner and go straight to dessert?
00:40:19Another chance for you to see a model eat way too many donuts.
00:40:24Or...
00:40:26I can brainstorm some ideas.
00:40:29For dessert?
00:40:31For my modeling agency.
00:40:32You're right.
00:40:34I think it's time that I start chasing my dreams.
00:40:37Now I've never been more attracted to you.
00:40:41I love you, Dylan.
00:40:44I love you, Emma.
00:40:46Speaking of attraction,
00:40:48don't take off that dress just yet.
00:40:56Come on, let's see it.
00:40:58Here goes.
00:40:59Dylan's going to have a heart attack.
00:41:01Good thing he does a lot of cardio.
00:41:03It's a surprise for his six-month anniversary.
00:41:06When we were just friends and his dates would come over,
00:41:09they'd go all out.
00:41:11One girl even showed up in a trench coat.
00:41:14Stop obsessing over his past.
00:41:17I know.
00:41:19It's just hard for me not to compare myself.
00:41:21Dylan has been with a lot of women.
00:41:25I know.
00:41:26A lot of women.
00:41:29Hot and sexy.
00:41:32Adventurous women.
00:41:34I want to be hot, sexy, and adventurous too.
00:41:36You are.
00:41:38Well, in your own way.
00:41:40And he's going to love it, trust me.
00:41:45What's up?
00:41:47Dylan just texted and said he has to work late.
00:41:49Yeah, bummer.
00:41:51I wonder if he even remembers it's our anniversary.
00:41:53Ugh, this sucks.
00:41:54I had such big plans for us tonight.
00:41:57Why don't you video chat him and show him what he's missing?
00:42:00Wait.
00:42:02You really think I should?
00:42:04Once he gets a glimpse of that outfit,
00:42:06he's not going to be able to get any work done.
00:42:09And that's exactly what a hot, sexy, adventurous girlfriend would do.
00:42:13Damn right it is.
00:42:15But are you sure I look okay?
00:42:17Like, do I look tempting?
00:42:19Yes. Oh my God, yes.
00:42:21Yes, you do.
00:42:22More tempting than Trench Coat Girl?
00:42:25Forget Trench Coat Girl.
00:42:27Now go.
00:42:29Seduce your man.
00:42:45Awesome. Yes.
00:42:47I want tense and beautiful. Love it.
00:42:49Beautiful.
00:42:51Take four.
00:42:53Love it.
00:42:59This is great.
00:43:01This is what we want. Right here.
00:43:03Don't change.
00:43:15Hi, sexy.
00:43:17Who?
00:43:18Uh, hey.
00:43:20What's wrong?
00:43:22I'm sorry, babe. I was just expecting a call from someone else.
00:43:26Oh.
00:43:28Still here, just handling payroll paperwork.
00:43:30Paperwork? You're a model.
00:43:32I still gotta get paid, babe.
00:43:34Hopefully I can get out of here soon.
00:43:36I got things to do.
00:43:38I know something you can do.
00:43:40Me.
00:43:42Like, do me?
00:43:44As in like...
00:43:46Never mind. It's not funny in my head.
00:43:48Okay.
00:43:50Well, I have something special for us tonight.
00:43:53You want a little preview?
00:43:58I'm, um, very much looking forward to spending some quality time tonight with you.
00:44:07What's the costume for? You going to a comic book convention?
00:44:11It's not a costume. It's lingerie.
00:44:15Oh. It's nice.
00:44:19Nice.
00:44:22Really nice?
00:44:24You know what? Forget it.
00:44:26But you hate lingerie.
00:44:28What'd you call that thong we saw at the store?
00:44:30Butt floss.
00:44:32Yeah. You said you didn't need floss up your butt to feel sexy.
00:44:35Well, I don't, but...
00:44:37I don't know. I just thought it'd be fun, you know, to try something different.
00:44:42Well, it definitely is different. Especially for you.
00:44:44Hey, listen, babe. I have to finish this and get out of here.
00:44:48Okay, fine. Go. Bye.
00:44:50Bye.
00:44:52Yeah, good job. Thank you.
00:44:54Looking really good, people.
00:44:58That was a quickie.
00:45:00Nothing happened.
00:45:02No feng shui.
00:45:04Pretty much ignored me and then laughed at me.
00:45:06What?
00:45:08He called my outfit a costume.
00:45:10I'm pretty sure he insinuated I was a comic book nerd.
00:45:12Well, that shows what he knows. You're actually a teen lit nerd.
00:45:15I'm so bad at this.
00:45:17Stop!
00:45:19Butts!
00:45:21You're just as hot, sexy, and whatever else is all those other girls.
00:45:24So you know what you're gonna do?
00:45:26Rave the fridge and draw my feelings in Ben and Jerry's?
00:45:29You're gonna prove it.
00:45:31And when Dylan comes home and sees you waiting all dolled up,
00:45:34I really get his attention.
00:45:36I really get his attention.
00:45:38How?
00:45:39What hot, sexy, and adventurous am I doing?
00:45:54Okay.
00:45:57I've always wanted to try these.
00:46:00I'm impressed.
00:46:02Should I keep the leopard print on or take it off and go for the cold, hard steel?
00:46:08The real question here is, where are you going to hide the key on your body so we can find it?
00:46:15That's the beautiful thing about these handcuffs.
00:46:18They are breakaway.
00:46:21So, when it gets all hot and steamy, all I have to do is free myself and jump Dylan's bones.
00:46:29I think I like the dirty you.
00:46:32Never felt sexier.
00:46:38Too much?
00:46:40Maybe just a little too much.
00:46:42Maybe just a little too much.
00:47:08Hey stud, on your way home yet?
00:47:12Sorry babe, I'm just getting out of the studio right now.
00:47:14I took longer than I thought.
00:47:16Well, hurry home.
00:47:18That surprise I have for you is all warmed up.
00:47:22That's great babe, I need to make one stop. It's important.
00:47:25Oh, so is this.
00:47:28Oh yeah, what's that?
00:47:31Can't tell you that yet.
00:47:33It's under lock and key.
00:47:42Handcuffs? Really?
00:47:45What's gotten into you Emma? You're not acting like yourself.
00:47:48So what? You just don't think I'm hot?
00:47:50No, I'm...
00:47:52Or sexy? Or adventurous?
00:47:54What?
00:47:56You know what? Fine! This is the last time I ever try to impress you.
00:48:00Why don't you just get back together with Trenchcoat Girl?
00:48:04Who?
00:48:06I'm done.
00:48:08What?
00:48:10Emma?
00:48:12Shit.
00:48:29Okay.
00:48:35Shit.
00:48:43I hate my life.
00:48:54Look, Emma needs you to come home.
00:48:57She handcuffed herself to the bedpost and got stuck.
00:49:00Okay, and why are you telling me this and not her?
00:49:03Because she's not talking to you.
00:49:05Okay, and why are you telling me this and not her?
00:49:08Because she's not talking to you.
00:49:10Seriously?
00:49:12Yeah. I mean, you made her feel really crappy today.
00:49:15I mean, first, you forget your six month anniversary.
00:49:18Wait, hold up.
00:49:20I know, I know a six month anniversary may seem stupid, but it's Emma we're talking about here.
00:49:26I mean, all she wants is to be wanted by you.
00:49:29I mean, she went and bought a corset, stockings, a garter, and you didn't even notice.
00:49:35She even got some handcuffs to spice things up in the bedroom a little bit.
00:49:39Why would Emma think she needs to spice things up?
00:49:40Why would Emma think she needs to spice things up?
00:49:42Because she wants to be just as hot, sexy, and adventurous as all your other exes.
00:49:47I mean, her words, not mine.
00:49:49That's ridiculous. She means more to me than all the other girls combined.
00:49:52Then show her that.
00:49:55I'm trying.
00:50:11Did you tell Dylan to hurry up?
00:50:13Because these handcuffs are super uncomfortable and this corset is super tight.
00:50:20Why don't you tell him yourself?
00:50:22Did you tell Dylan to hurry up?
00:50:25Because these handcuffs are super uncomfortable and this corset is super tight.
00:50:32Why don't you tell him yourself?
00:50:34Told you, I'm not...
00:50:36Incredibly sexy.
00:50:37The hottest girlfriend around, more than I could ever deserve.
00:50:45Look, I know you don't want to talk to me.
00:50:48But I just want to say I'm sorry.
00:50:50I'm sorry for being distracted.
00:50:52And I'm sorry for being the dumbest boyfriend on earth.
00:50:55I don't deserve you.
00:50:57But I'm not sorry for forgetting our anniversary.
00:51:00Because I didn't.
00:51:04Dylan's house rules for Emma?
00:51:07I'm not an artist, but that's why it took me so long.
00:51:11Read the first rule.
00:51:13Always be yourself.
00:51:15Because the way you are is perfect.
00:51:18I can't believe you made this.
00:51:20That's not all.
00:51:22I was so distracted because I was worried I wouldn't get out of the photo shoot in time.
00:51:25In order for me to pick up this little anniversary gift I got a few weeks ago.
00:51:28In order for me to pick up this little anniversary gift I got a few weeks ago.
00:51:32Looks like you already got a new bracelet.
00:51:37Emma, I love you because you're you.
00:51:40I don't want any other girls.
00:51:42And I don't care if you wear a trench coat or handcuff yourself to a bed.
00:51:48Actually, I prefer if you didn't.
00:51:50You could hurt yourself.
00:51:52Yeah, because I'm klutzy, awkward and silly.
00:51:55Sure, but you're also hot.
00:51:57And can you show me what you're wearing a little better?
00:52:00You're so beautiful.
00:52:02Emma, if you want to be more adventurous, I'm totally into it.
00:52:06But only if it's because it's what you want to do.
00:52:09Yeah, it is.
00:52:11Good.
00:52:13No more comparing yourself to old girlfriends.
00:52:15This is the first six months of our entire lives.
00:52:18And I can't wait to spend my future with you.
00:52:20Me too.
00:52:22You're amazing.
00:52:24We're amazing.
00:52:26Together.
00:52:27You're amazing.
00:52:29Together.
00:52:31Oh.
00:52:33Okay, well, first things first.
00:52:35Get your butt home.
00:52:37And get me out of these handcuffs.
00:52:39I have to pee.
00:52:42How's the party prep going?
00:52:44Good, I think.
00:52:46Nachos are in the oven.
00:52:48Everything's decorated.
00:52:50Dylan's been working so hard lately.
00:52:52And I just wanted him to let loose and really enjoy his birthday.
00:52:55Stop worrying and go put some clothes on.
00:52:57Well, that's actually why I called you.
00:52:59Dylan loves when I wear this dress I got in Cabo.
00:53:02But, I just feel so bloated.
00:53:05Can you let me know if it looks okay?
00:53:07A fashion show?
00:53:09I'm in.
00:53:14What do you think?
00:53:16You look amazing as usual.
00:53:18Are you sure?
00:53:20I don't know.
00:53:22It just feels tight.
00:53:24Are you sure you want to wear white?
00:53:25Why wouldn't I?
00:53:27Because you have your period?
00:53:29Okay, one, it's creepy that you know that.
00:53:32I'm your best friend.
00:53:34It's my job to keep track of your cycle.
00:53:36And two, you're wrong.
00:53:38I don't have my period.
00:53:40Well, you should.
00:53:42I mean, it's the fifth and you get your period on the third of every month just like me.
00:53:45Oh my god.
00:53:48You're right.
00:53:50And are you okay?
00:53:53I'm late.
00:53:55I'm late.
00:53:57I'm like days late.
00:54:00Okay, okay, okay.
00:54:02Well, let's not freak out here.
00:54:04This isn't normal for me.
00:54:06Oh my god.
00:54:09I'm...
00:54:11No, don't say it.
00:54:13I'm pregnant!
00:54:15What am I going to do?
00:54:17I can't have a baby.
00:54:19I don't know the first thing about raising a kid.
00:54:21Oh god.
00:54:23That's why the dress is tight.
00:54:25It's a coat.
00:54:27It's baby!
00:54:29Emma Renee Arnaz.
00:54:31You wouldn't have a baby bump already.
00:54:33Now stop acting crazy.
00:54:36And breathe.
00:54:38Good.
00:54:40Now, are you having any other symptoms?
00:54:42No.
00:54:44I mean, I'm kind of crampy and I'm super on edge.
00:54:48But that doesn't really tell us anything.
00:54:51It tells us that I'm pregnant!
00:54:53Could be pregnant.
00:54:55Oh my god, and what am I going to tell Dylan?
00:54:57Ha ha ha!
00:54:59Happy birthday, you're going to be a dad!
00:55:01I always wanted to be a dad.
00:55:03You know, we both want a family.
00:55:05Someday.
00:55:07Not now.
00:55:09Not now.
00:55:11We're in our 20s.
00:55:13We're supposed to let loose and have fun.
00:55:15Oh my god, he's been so stressed lately.
00:55:17And now I'm going to ruin his birthday.
00:55:19Oh my god.
00:55:21Not just his birthday.
00:55:23His life!
00:55:25I'm taking over nothing.
00:55:27You need to take a test.
00:55:29Oh no.
00:55:31No, no, no, no.
00:55:33What if someone sees me at the drugstore?
00:55:35Then the rumor mill will turn.
00:55:37And then they'll spread the news all over town.
00:55:39And then everyone will know that I'm pregnant.
00:55:41And then they'll be shamed and disowned.
00:55:43Emma, you live in New York City.
00:55:45Not Walnut Grove.
00:55:47Go to the store.
00:55:49And if you're so worried about someone seeing you,
00:55:52then go to one that's further away.
00:55:53No, I don't have time.
00:55:55I need to finish baking the cake
00:55:57and hanging the decorations.
00:55:59And this is more important.
00:56:01But Dylan will understand.
00:56:04Okay.
00:56:06I'll call you when I get the test.
00:56:08Duh.
00:56:10Thanks, A.
00:56:15How's your birthday going?
00:56:17So far so good, babe.
00:56:19What are you doing out and about?
00:56:20Just working on a surprise.
00:56:23I love surprises.
00:56:25You might not love this one.
00:56:27What's in the bag?
00:56:29Let me guess.
00:56:31House rule number 32.
00:56:33No Cheeto dust in the apartment.
00:56:35You're surprising me by letting me
00:56:37break the rules for my birthday.
00:56:39Nope, I'm surprising you with a baby.
00:56:41What?
00:56:43I mean a food baby
00:56:45with how delicious all the food
00:56:47at your party is going to be.
00:56:48Oh, sweet.
00:56:50Can't wait.
00:56:52So what do you want to name our food baby?
00:56:54Dylan Junior?
00:56:56We are not naming our baby Dylan Junior.
00:56:58You okay?
00:57:00You look a little...
00:57:02What?
00:57:04Bloated?
00:57:06Testy? Fat?
00:57:08Stressed.
00:57:10Sorry.
00:57:12Don't be sorry, babe.
00:57:14I don't want you to kill yourself over this party.
00:57:16I want us all to relax.
00:57:18What would it be?
00:57:20Lady's choice.
00:57:22I choose water.
00:57:24What?
00:57:26Yeah, I've just been feeling really
00:57:28dehydrated lately.
00:57:30I think I'll just
00:57:32stick with good old H2O.
00:57:34Come on, babe.
00:57:36It's my birthday.
00:57:38We're only young once.
00:57:40Before you know it, we'll be getting older,
00:57:42starting a family.
00:57:44I have to go, Dylan.
00:57:46Emma, why?
00:57:48I just meant someday.
00:57:50We're not ready for kids yet.
00:57:52You know what?
00:57:54You're breaking up.
00:57:56I have to go.
00:57:58I'll talk to you later.
00:58:00Emma, can you hear me?
00:58:02Bye. Bye, Dylan.
00:58:18Bye.
00:58:41I can't do this.
00:58:43Sure you can.
00:58:45Imagine a waterfall
00:58:46flowing from a deep lagoon.
00:58:48No, I mean
00:58:50I can't have this baby.
00:58:52I'm sorry, Em.
00:58:54I'm just getting my business off the ground
00:58:57and I'm finally getting my shit together
00:59:00and now...
00:59:02You don't even know if you're pregnant yet.
00:59:04That's what the test is for.
00:59:07That's what the test is for.
00:59:11Plus, even if you are pregnant,
00:59:13it doesn't mean you can't follow your dreams.
00:59:14You just have to do what the baby into.
00:59:16It's gonna ruin everything.
00:59:18And Dylan...
00:59:20Dylan loves you.
00:59:22Yeah, me.
00:59:24Not me plus a kid.
00:59:26Not now.
00:59:33Okay, I think I'm ready.
00:59:35To be a mom?
00:59:37Shut up. To pee.
00:59:39All right now, go girl.
00:59:41I'm not peeing with you watching.
00:59:42Really?
00:59:44Lame.
00:59:46After everything we've been through?
00:59:48I'll call you back when I have the results.
00:59:50Fine.
00:59:52Good luck or break a leg.
00:59:54I mean, what do you really say in this situation?
00:59:56I'm not sure.
00:59:58Whatever happens, I'm here for you.
01:00:01Oh, and Em?
01:00:03Yeah?
01:00:05If you are pregnant,
01:00:07can I be the godmom?
01:00:13Okay.
01:00:15Picture a waterfall
01:00:18flowing into a deep lagoon.
01:00:22Picture a waterfall
01:00:26flowing into a deep lagoon.
01:00:43Are you lying on the floor?
01:00:46Yeah, it's a new form of yoga.
01:00:50You hate yoga.
01:00:52You always say I look stupid in child's pose.
01:00:55Emma, what's wrong?
01:00:57And don't say nothing.
01:01:03I'm late.
01:01:05Babe, the party's at our house.
01:01:07You can't be late.
01:01:09No, I mean my period.
01:01:10My period is late.
01:01:12Oh.
01:01:14So,
01:01:16what does that mean exactly?
01:01:18What does that mean exactly?
01:01:22It can mean nothing or...
01:01:24It can mean I'm pregnant.
01:01:29I'm so sorry.
01:01:31I don't know how this happened
01:01:33and I wasn't buying you Cheetos earlier.
01:01:36I was buying this
01:01:37and I don't know what it says yet
01:01:39and I'm really scared
01:01:41and I think it's time to look
01:01:43and I'm so sorry for ruining your birthday, Dylan.
01:01:46Like, I really, really wanted today to be perfect.
01:01:49You've just been so good to me
01:01:51ever since we got together and...
01:01:53Emma, just calm down.
01:01:55And like, I'm just starting my business
01:01:57and you've been helping me with that
01:01:59and we don't have any money.
01:02:01So, it's just like the worst possible time ever.
01:02:04The worst possible time ever.
01:02:06I don't know what to do.
01:02:08I'm so scared.
01:02:10Emma Renee Arnaz,
01:02:12you're going to make yourself sick.
01:02:14You need to breathe.
01:02:19See?
01:02:21Everything's going to be okay.
01:02:23How can it possibly be okay?
01:02:25Because no matter what that test says,
01:02:28we're going to figure it out together.
01:02:30Because no matter what that test says,
01:02:32we're going to figure it out together.
01:02:35But we're not ready.
01:02:37You don't know that.
01:02:39Having a baby is hard
01:02:41no matter what age you are or what your job is.
01:02:43But you and me, we can get through anything.
01:02:49I love you, Dylan.
01:02:52I love you, babe.
01:02:55Now go look at that test.
01:02:57We'll do it together.
01:02:59We'll do it together.
01:03:15Oh my God, I'm not pregnant.
01:03:17Oh my God!
01:03:19Yeah.
01:03:21I know you said we could do it,
01:03:23but I really wasn't ready.
01:03:25That would have been one hell of a birthday present.
01:03:28Something I always wanted,
01:03:29just a few years too early.
01:03:31Do you mean it?
01:03:32With me?
01:03:34Of course with you.
01:03:36And of course I mean it.
01:03:37With all my heart.
01:03:42Oh, shit.
01:03:44I have to go.
01:03:45Let me guess.
01:03:46Amanda's already named our baby.
01:03:48Pretty much.
01:03:50Get ready, babe,
01:03:51because the party is back on.
01:03:54Are you still having water tonight?
01:03:56No way!
01:03:58I'm going to get back into that store
01:04:00and buy me the biggest bottle of wine they have.
01:04:03You got it, babe.
01:04:05Oh, and Dylan?
01:04:07Yeah?
01:04:09Happy birthday.