Dash and his best friend Assaf are preparing for another year at Tides High School muckraking on behalf of their widely- | dG1fWFluZmJQZVZMSjA
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01The world's a barren and horrible place, isn't it?
00:06These kids are the only hope left.
00:10Jeez.
00:13We're sophomores now. We're like entirely new people.
00:18First edition of the year. Hot off the press.
00:21There's not much to write about at Tides High. We're a peaceful, uneventful place.
00:26Attention, everyone! Pencils down!
00:34Oof. Gross.
00:40We're gonna need a new plan.
00:42My legs are caught under the bookcase.
00:44I gotta amputate.
00:45Dude, just lift the bookcase.
00:47Oh yeah. Okay.
00:49I'm a virgin too.
00:51Sort of.
00:52Envision yourself as a phoenix flying out of the ashes.
00:54Life was pointless and filled with pain.
00:57Drop dead.
00:59You turds really wanna tussle.
01:02You have to move up to the senior floor and then graduate to the roof.
01:07Help me and I'll invite you to my next party, I swear!
01:09We don't like parties.
01:10There's no way to have a meaningful conversation at a party.
01:12Just jump.
01:13I'm buff enough to catch you.
01:14Dude, forgive me.
01:22I know it ain't right, but it feels so good to clean your ears with kid tape.
01:25I'm sorry.
01:26I'm sorry.
01:27I'm sorry.
01:28I'm sorry.
01:29I'm sorry.
01:30I'm sorry.
01:31I'm sorry.
01:32I'm sorry.
01:33I'm sorry.
01:34I'm sorry.
01:35I'm sorry.
01:36I'm sorry.
01:37I'm sorry.
01:38I'm sorry.
01:39I'm sorry.
01:40I'm sorry.
01:41I'm sorry.
01:42You don't have a chance to clean your ears with kid tapes.
01:43You're pretty freaked out, don't you think?