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FunTranscript
00:00Welcome to the 2025 Sidemen Charity Match.
00:04We are here, and we ain't leaving!
00:06The biggest YouTuber event in history, unprecedented, unparalleled,
00:11it's the Sidemen Charity Match 2025!
00:14Through the world, seas have rised when I gave the word
00:19Now in the morning I sleep alone
00:23Sweep the streets I used to own
00:27It's ten years almost exactly since we had the first Wembley Park.
00:30What a decade it's been, now packed out the place, it's just unbelievable.
00:34You ready bro?
00:35You've got this man.
00:36We've got this!
00:39This is a game nine years in the making!
00:42Look how far we have come!
00:45Right, we are at breakfast.
00:47We've got the breakfast of a champion.
00:48We've got some chicken and some salmon.
00:52It is a second breakfast.
00:53I actually had that for breakfast.
00:55That is criminal by the way.
00:58That is criminal by the way.
00:59I had that for breakfast.
01:00Chris, you know beans on scrambled eggs is criminal.
01:02You're not allowed to do that.
01:03It's actually disgusting.
01:06Shout out these yogurts.
01:07Best yogurts in the world.
01:08You're not getting a sponsor though.
01:10How are you feeling today George?
01:11I'm feeling fantastic, thank you.
01:12Yeah, you feeling nervous?
01:13Feeling great?
01:14You feeling fun?
01:15I keep saying this, I don't really know how to feel.
01:20So I'm feeling neutral.
01:21Very Aristotle of you.
01:22Let's do a hand test.
01:28Oh my god, that is...
01:29Wait, what?
01:30Do you have a tremor?
01:31I'm really shaking.
01:32Do you actually?
01:33You okay mate?
01:34You feeling better?
01:36I'm only meant to have four doses.
01:38About half the bottle.
01:40That, I'm going to have four on the coach.
01:42I've already had...
01:43You get 24 of that 12.
01:44Okay, well are you forgetting mate?
01:46Adrenaline will take over.
01:48Big performance for you today.
01:49But what I've heard is that when you're so drugged up and adrenaline,
01:53apparently you can get awkward moments.
01:55Oh no.
01:57So you might have to help me out with the changeover.
01:59Don't tell me when you get that.
02:00This is crazy.
02:01This is mad, I don't know what's going on.
02:02This is crazy.
02:03Wait till you see what I've got in here for you boys.
02:05What on earth is this piece?
02:07Come with the hat.
02:09Sign 11.
02:11Talk us through it.
02:12What's the tactics today?
02:13Sketch and golf.
02:14Right, that's just...
02:15Who are you looking for?
02:16That's just a Hail Mary really, isn't it?
02:18And then up front we've got Nico and yourself.
02:20Oh, that sounds like goals to me guys.
02:23So, can we address the rumour that I'm hearing?
02:26Rumour?
02:27Mate, tabloids.
02:29I'm getting dragged after one minute.
02:31What, are you going to listen to the sun are you?
02:33Honest waffle.
02:34He thinks it's so funny taking me up after one minute.
02:36Would I do that?
02:37Yes.
02:38If you would.
02:41Oh yeah.
02:42This is it.
02:43About to head to the coach.
02:44Double breakfast done.
02:46Feeling really, really good.
02:47Got my foam roller with me to prep the legs when I get to the stadium.
02:51And Operation Get Speed a Goal is going to commence.
02:56And Operation hopefully win the charity match.
02:58Both, I'm hoping, is going to happen.
02:59And also I'm hoping to score myself.
03:01Though the celebration might need some work.
03:03I'm not really too sure what I'm going to do if I score.
03:05But fingers crossed, I do.
03:07Let's go to Wembley.
03:08Here we go.
03:11Phil showing off his conservatory at the top of his roof.
03:14Top of his head.
03:15I can go to Turkey if I wanted to.
03:17Yeah, you've already been twice.
03:19I like my hairline.
03:25I think that might be the most expensive thing you've ever done.
03:28There's a lot to fix.
03:30Alright, here we are.
03:31We're leaving the hotel.
03:35Holy shit.
03:37We're getting on the coach.
03:44Ah, men of the people, men of the people.
03:46What, you don't want to go over there?
03:48I've already been over there.
03:49You actually walked straight past them all.
03:51There was no shout.
03:54No, they just saw Mr Bees.
03:55But why did you go over when they shouted Mr Bees?
03:57I didn't go over.
03:58No, they shouted Mr Bees.
03:59No, they shouted Ginge.
04:00Mr Big Ginge.
04:01Mr Ginge.
04:02Exactly.
04:04Here we go.
04:05On to the team bus.
04:06Hello.
04:09Let's go, all stars.
04:11Let's go.
04:12Oh, I've got room for here.
04:13Climb up my little arse here.
04:15Going backwards.
04:16Are we feeling ready?
04:17Are we feeling ready?
04:20Come on.
04:21Come on.
04:34Boo.
04:38Wanker.
04:39Wanker.
04:40Wanker.
04:41Wanker.
04:42Wanker.
04:43Wanker.
04:44Wanker.
04:45Boo.
04:48Wanker.
04:49Wanker.
04:50Boo.
04:51Oh, we're rascals today.
04:53It's not in his kit.
04:54It's not in his kit.
04:55Guys, speed's rocked up.
04:5725 minutes late, not in his kit.
04:59Gaffer, I'll have to...
05:01Captain, by the way.
05:02I know.
05:03Who chose captains?
05:04Not fucking me.
05:05By the way, I've got the armband in my bag.
05:07I'm ready for the call-up again.
05:08I can fuck.
05:09Might have to be the case.
05:10Nah, it should be Ginge, I think.
05:12He's got the most captaincy.
05:13Oh, yeah.
05:14The leader qualities.
05:15You know he's got the...
05:16Ah, good times.
05:17Good banner.
05:18Yeah, good times.
05:20Here he is.
05:22Here he is.
05:24Boo.
05:27Wanker.
05:28Wanker.
05:29Wanker.
05:30Wanker.
05:31Wanker.
05:32Wanker.
05:33Okay, okay, okay.
05:34Hey, we need to win today.
05:35Today's the day.
05:38Let's chat.
05:39Let's leave.
05:40Let's chat.
05:41That's it.
05:42Deji, come on.
05:43What are you doing?
05:44Mate.
05:46I know that life won't break me when it comes to call.
05:51I'm loving angels instead.
05:55There's a bit of a song-off going on between the back and the front of the bus.
05:58You can't use any of that.
05:59Yeah, I can.
06:00Right, we are pulling up to Wembley.
06:03There it is.
06:09This is it.
06:10Here we go.
06:11Here we go.
06:12Got to get our bag.
06:13We've made it to Wembley.
06:14I need to go for a wee.
06:15Here we are.
06:18Are we in the away?
06:19I'm guessing we're in the away.
06:20This is very, very cool.
06:22This is sick.
06:23And there's Wi-Fi.
06:24Oh.
06:29This is sick.
06:31This is sick.
06:33This is nuts.
06:34Now we're talking, daddy.
06:38Look at that.
06:39The boot's freshly cleaned.
06:40We've got this.
06:41Oh.
06:42Gaffer.
06:43This is proper.
06:44This is proper.
06:45There you go.
06:46Suck your nose.
06:47Oh, have you got me a beer?
06:48Yeah.
06:49Oh, mate.
06:50Yeah, a couple.
06:51Yeah, we've got some right here.
06:52There's loads right there.
06:53Knock yourself out.
06:55Me and Chrissie are going out to have the first look at the pitch.
07:00This is all right, isn't it, mate?
07:06Are we allowed on the pitch?
07:07Are we going to get told off if we go on the pitch?
07:09No, no.
07:10Maybe we stay here for now.
07:11Wow.
07:12We're on the big screen.
07:13This is kind of gas, you know.
07:14This is kind of gas, Chris.
07:17This is actually a lot bigger than I've ever thought in my life.
07:21Right, Cal.
07:23Any last minute changes to the line-up?
07:25Are we locked in?
07:27If I speak.
07:28Are you in trouble?
07:29If I speak.
07:30There is a change.
07:31Oh, is there?
07:32Yeah.
07:33I looked at the training last night.
07:34Somebody I saw wasn't really performing.
07:37Well, you can tell me.
07:38Who is it?
07:39Who is it?
07:40Who is it?
07:41No spoilers.
07:42No spoilers.
07:43They're just going out after us.
07:44It's Ben.
07:45Hello, mate.
07:46How are you?
07:47I love the gym.
07:48Speed.
07:49What?
07:50No, no, no.
07:52Ha!
07:53Ha!
07:54Man.
07:55Is this the actual one?
07:56It's the actual one from last time, yeah.
07:57Thank you, man.
07:58It's your time now.
07:59Mate, it's your time.
08:00It's your time.
08:01This is it.
08:04Feel it.
08:05Embrace it.
08:06You're going to do this, man.
08:11It's a real honour to pass the torch, guys.
08:15Yeah, come on.
08:16Nothing like a pre-game banana.
08:17Get some energy.
08:22It's one of the worst things I've ever seen.
08:26Team photo's done inside.
08:28We are now heading out for the warm-ups.
08:31Let's go see how full it is.
08:32We're just under an hour till kick-off.
08:34About 45, 50 minutes till kick-off.
08:38You got this, right?
08:39Come on!
08:40You're going to do this.
08:41How are you feeling?
08:42You good?
08:43I'm good.
08:44You good?
08:45Hey, Jigsy.
08:46Jigsy.
08:47Come on.
08:48Go.
08:49Go.
08:50Go.
08:51Ready?
08:52Yes.
08:53Let's go.
08:54In you, baby.
08:57Chip, as manager, is the best thing ever, you know.
09:00Honestly, he has got this role absolutely down to a tee.
09:03Hey, Sketch.
09:04You ready, bro?
09:05You've got this, man.
09:06We've got this.
09:07I can see the confidence growing every minute.
09:09Yep.
09:10You're going to do great.
09:11It's always going to feel like a bargain.
09:12Pass this one.
09:13Mate, you're going to do great.
09:14I'm telling you.
09:15I can feel it.
09:16Come on.
09:17Feel it.
09:18We're going to do good.
09:19Oh, wait.
09:20The classics.
09:21He's called them out.
09:22We'll have a look.
09:23I need to stop saying that, but I just can't.
09:24It's really in my head right now.
09:28All right.
09:29On top, Dick.
09:30On deal.
09:31Left mid.
09:32High.
09:33Seven mids.
09:34We've got Chris and Shunt.
09:35Half time.
09:36If you can get a shirt for Jimmy, we might switch out Sketch for Jimmy, wherever you are.
09:39It's been sentimental.
09:40You come here looking to enjoy the day.
09:41It's Wembley.
09:42Oh, we'll have fun.
09:43You won't have.
09:44You won't fucking have fun.
09:45If you don't win, how are you having fun?
09:47No.
09:48You're not fucking running.
09:49And I see that.
09:50Half time.
09:51I swear to God you won't see the picture again.
09:52He's looking at you.
09:53Honestly.
09:54Yeah.
09:55I'm a runner.
09:56I'm a track star.
09:57That's all you need to do.
09:58Genuinely, if you actually just fucking run and you can count on your teammates to run,
10:01I don't see how we can lose this game.
10:02They're not that good either.
10:03Don't try any fancy bollocks, okay?
10:05Just pass and move.
10:07All right?
10:08It's about 90,000 13-year-olds.
10:11Oh, my God.
10:12Our families is watching.
10:13Friends is watching.
10:14We can't let nobody down.
10:15All right?
10:16Now, this is my first job as a captain, and I want to lead y'all boys to victory.
10:20I want to see everybody in this field, everybody in this locker room that have a smile on their
10:25face after the game.
10:26Yeah.
10:27Everybody smiling.
10:28Everybody doing good.
10:29I love y'all.
10:30Give me some hands up, man.
10:31Come on.
10:32This is the game.
10:33Coming outside.
10:34This is the last game.
10:35Last game.
10:36Last game and last chance.
10:37So turn the fuck up and let's go.
10:38Let's go.
10:39Let's go.
10:40Let's go.
10:41Let's go.
10:42Let's go.
10:43Let's go.
10:44Let's go.
10:46All right, lads.
10:47See you out there.
10:48It is time to look back at the game, ladies and gentlemen.
10:51Going to look at all the big moments plus every touch I had and try and analyze my performance
10:56and see how I got that 9.7 rating on Fop Mob.
11:00This is it.
11:01In goal.
11:02It is Sketch.
11:03What a boy, man.
11:04Sketch, by the way, best guy I've ever met.
11:06Two-man strike force.
11:07Oh, yeah.
11:08Niko Omolana.
11:09Last year, he ran for Prime Minister.
11:10Niko.
11:11In the same way that Stephen Hawking ran for the bus.
11:12And myself.
11:13Will he have more luck?
11:15And next to Niko is Theo Baker.
11:17Theo Baker.
11:18He was injured last time with a hairline fracture, which I thought he got fixed in Turkey.
11:22Poor bloke.
11:23He wants some redemption.
11:24Okay, a hairline fracture, which I thought he got fixed in Turkey.
11:27Actually, Mr. Beast has offered to pay for my next hair transplant.
11:31So who's laughing now?
11:35Probably everyone still.
11:36Here we are with kickoff.
11:38And instantly, Chip is subbed.
11:4020 seconds in.
11:41I'm off the pit.
11:42Is that the quickest sub in the history of football?
11:45A lot of people had a bet on me to play over 36 minutes.
11:48So whoever had that bet on, you got nervous, didn't you?
11:51I know you got nervous.
11:52What is the quickest substitution?
11:57No!
11:5813 seconds.
11:59Well, technically, the ball went out of play after 5 seconds for our one.
12:03So surely that counts as 5 seconds, not the time it actually took me to come off the pitch, which was 20 seconds?
12:07I think it is.
12:08I'll tell you what.
12:09Joe had a really, really good game.
12:12Is this Sketch's first save?
12:14Oh, this is Josh's effort.
12:16Mate, the angle we had this on the side of the pitch was amazing.
12:19It looked like it was flying top corner.
12:21Sketch has pulled out a well-made save.
12:23As soon as Sketch made this save, we knew we were in good hands, lads.
12:26We knew.
12:27Look at that.
12:28That's a good effort.
12:29That's a good save for a small person.
12:30He's small, right?
12:31He's got 5'4".
12:32He's got up well there.
12:34Is this the penalty?
12:35It's a corner from Simon.
12:37Oh, this is how it goes from Ginge, mate.
12:39I respect Mark Clattenburg, right?
12:41He didn't see it, but then he realised they're showing a replay on the top screen.
12:45The whistle was blown.
12:46Wella, the redemption up.
12:48First goal in the game.
12:50I was so happy for him.
12:52And this is by far the best celebration ever in a charity match.
12:58Look at this.
12:59Logan Paul with the suplex on Joe at Wembley Stadium.
13:03Ginge there.
13:05What a pass this is into Nico.
13:09I tell you what, you know.
13:11I'm not too sure that's a penalty.
13:13Has Harry won the ball?
13:14We're not complaining, but I think Harry's won the ball there.
13:17But I got a rate mark for giving it as a pen, you know.
13:19Let's have another look at this.
13:21Did he get ball or man first?
13:26I see way more of the man though there, Harry.
13:28And Mr. Beast.
13:30He has the opportunity to score at Wembley to make it 1-1.
13:33XQC with a penalty save.
13:35Oh Jimmy.
13:36Look, we talk a lot of smack me and Chris do.
13:38But we love each other really.
13:39And to get it on target from this far out with this much venom on it.
13:43It looks great.
13:44Oh, that looks so good on camera.
13:46The cold messy celebration as well.
13:48Look, well done Chris.
13:50That is thoroughly deserved.
13:5213 minutes in and he's back on the pitch.
13:55Ready to bag some goals.
13:58Oh, Danny with the shout there.
14:00He actually shouted.
14:01And we're in.
14:02We're in straight away.
14:03Niko.
14:04Oh, Niko.
14:06So many people said to me, Phil, you've got to start shooting more.
14:09And in my head I was like, yeah, I understand that.
14:11But also, we've got to get people goals.
14:14And Niko was open.
14:16Niko, I've given it on a plate.
14:17Oh, I've given it on a plate to you, son.
14:19Tell you what, we actually figured out actually the best way to score goals in this game.
14:23Was literally just to kick it over the top.
14:25And try and utilise speed.
14:27The only downfall of that, though, is having to try and utilise his footballing ability.
14:31Which is slightly less than his actual athleticism.
14:34So he scored from a set piece.
14:36This man's about to get an assist from a set piece.
14:38Back post towards me and Ginge.
14:40He whips it in.
14:42Who's the salmon in there?
14:43It's me.
14:48Steven.
14:49That's why he's known as YouTube's best footballer.
14:52He always delivers, doesn't he? Time and time again.
14:55I did the P celebration for pitch side as well.
14:57Just got a bit of a broken hand, so it's quite hard to actually realise that it's a P.
15:00But that's the first time I've listened back to the actual commentary of the goal.
15:03Steven, Spencer, you're amazing.
15:06Oh, here we go.
15:08Baker on the ball.
15:09A good clearance from Ginge there.
15:11Playing it out to speed on the right-hand side.
15:14Utilise it.
15:15That's actually a good tackle from Mark Grover, actually.
15:20Oh, this would have been...
15:22I know it was offside.
15:23But, Josh, that would have been such a good goal.
15:26The Tekkers, to even try and attempt that.
15:29Oh, yeah, Chrissie.
15:30Another pass in.
15:32Nikko.
15:33He's one-on-one with the keeper.
15:36Jadon's handballed it there, by the way.
15:38But we'll let that one slide.
15:39I said to Jadon, you've handballed it.
15:40He goes, yep.
15:41Gingsey here, giving him the shout.
15:42Quick throw-in over the top.
15:44Can't be offside for a throw-in.
15:45Here we go.
15:46Oh, I knew as soon as I was in this position,
15:48I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
15:51Keep it in.
15:54Here it is.
15:59I think we've got a replay.
16:00Ben, show the replay.
16:04Oh, my gosh.
16:05McGeady spin.
16:07Oh, I'm sorry!
16:09That was so close.
16:12Danny Arons.
16:13Into speed.
16:15Speed.
16:17Into Lachlan.
16:18Lachlan, that's a cultured finish, you know.
16:21It technically is an own goal,
16:22but I thought more,
16:23I put it down as Lachlan's goal.
16:25So, Lachlan, you have taken that,
16:27and you scored at Wembley Stadium.
16:30Oh, is this a goal?
16:31Is this a goal?
16:32Simon?
16:34Oh, sketch.
16:36He probably should have done better on that one,
16:38but we're going to let him off.
16:39And Simon with the baby celebration as well.
16:41Here we go.
16:43Look at that.
16:44Touch.
16:45And then Bosh straight into speed.
16:48Is he offside there?
16:50Oh, he's onside.
16:52Good tackle from Simon there.
16:54Oh, speed winds it back.
16:55Lachlan!
16:56Oh, this is it.
16:57This is it.
16:58Ginge with what a long ball that is.
17:01But look at, look, let's pause it here.
17:03Let's pause it here, all right?
17:04One, two, three, four, five players offside.
17:07But Baker from deep.
17:09I'm shouting at them.
17:13Go.
17:14Bosh.
17:19Spencer!
17:20He might be a Baker, but he's cooking.
17:22Put that down in the greatest commentary lines ever uttered into existence.
17:27Five players offside there, except me,
17:30and I shouted to speed,
17:31leave it, do not touch the ball.
17:34And they listened.
17:35And because they listened, we scored.
17:37Banger.
17:38Right foot.
17:40I've worked so hard to get back into this position,
17:43to be able to kick right-footed, stay injury-free,
17:46and finally all my hard work has paid off.
17:48And I scored a right-footed goal.
17:50Come on.
17:51Oh, my God, this is amazing.
17:53When Joe comes back on for the Cybermen team,
17:56here, look at this.
17:57This is a good save from Sketch.
17:59He should score either side of the goal,
18:01and it's a goal.
18:02But Joe was criminally underrated in this game.
18:06I thought he played amazing.
18:07And there you are, this is his goal.
18:08Look at that, Bosh.
18:09Get on target, it's a goal.
18:11He was definitely a difference maker for the Cybermen team.
18:16Look at that, into Cybermen.
18:17Cybermen could so easily shoot here,
18:19but they wanted Josh to get the goal.
18:20He played it over.
18:21What's Danny doing, by the way?
18:23Perfectly hit it on the post.
18:25And then, yeah.
18:27I don't know if he's shot or he's gone to pass
18:29or what's going on there,
18:30but it's four-all going in at half-time.
18:33Eight goals in the first half.
18:35All right, boys, it's four-all.
18:37It's four-all.
18:38Two goals for myself, two from Weller.
18:41Chris has scored a free kick.
18:42Chris, I'm not...
18:46I'm not going to hear the end of it.
18:47Great free kick!
18:48Great free kick!
18:49It was down the middle of the goal.
18:51Chris, has that confirmed you as a better free kick taker
18:54than most Premier League footballers?
18:56Free kicks, of course, aren't facing XQC.
18:58Fair play, man. Fair play.
19:00No, we need to stop this.
19:01What do you mean?
19:02We need to stop giving him credits for that free kick.
19:05It's on target!
19:06It's on target to get the job done.
19:08Put me up front for England.
19:13I got this.
19:16Ginger up top!
19:18I like that.
19:19Ginger and Speed up top.
19:20We're going to get Speed as goal.
19:21Let's check the half-time foot mob.
19:23So far, it's four-all.
19:25We've got Ethan on an 8.2.
19:35Let's check it.
19:36I just wanted to double-check it, guys.
19:37Foot mob, great app.
19:38Download it using the link in the description down below.
19:40How is Miniminter on an 8.9?
19:42He's got a goal on assist, with respect to assist.
19:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:45I've got two goals.
19:468.7 and then well at 8.8.
19:48What's Ginge on?
19:49Ginge is on a 6.8.
19:51You're on a 6.8, mate.
19:53Yeah, well, I've conceded...
19:54You got an assist.
19:55You got an assist.
19:56Did you assist me?
19:57Yeah, I did.
19:58You're so boring.
19:59Right, second half.
20:00We're walking back out.
20:01Chip makes some big substitutions.
20:03He brings me, Chris, and I believe Ginge back on.
20:07The three spines coming back on.
20:10However, Ginge is back on, but he's not a centre-back, lads.
20:14He's up front for speed.
20:16And this is our tactic.
20:17Give it long.
20:18And it almost worked.
20:19Look at it.
20:20We almost scored straight from kick-off here.
20:22He's trying to get speed to goal.
20:23I know what he...
20:24Yeah, he really wanted speed to goal there.
20:26We were just like, lads, we play it over the top.
20:28Someone is going to score.
20:30Speed's going to get on the end of it.
20:31Or Ginge.
20:32Or Kai.
20:34Good effort.
20:36Is this the Logan Paul header?
20:38I think it is the Logan Paul header.
20:40He actually is causing a bit of a hassle in the box there.
20:43He's got a good header, by the way.
20:45He's got his neck behind it.
20:46That's genuinely a good goal.
20:52Oh.
20:53I should have scored that, you know.
20:55I actually should have scored that.
20:56Look at this.
20:57I've hit it off my shin.
20:58I should have...
20:59Why did I...
21:00Oh.
21:02Oh, I really should have scored that.
21:06Yeah, this was just one of them ones where I knew speed was going to get in there.
21:09It does get in there.
21:10Oh, he puts it wide.
21:12Oh, that would have been an assist from myself, I think.
21:15Would that have been an assist?
21:16I think it would have been.
21:17That was our tactic.
21:18Knock it long.
21:19And speed will run and he will get there.
21:21Look how much...
21:22Jamie had so much on him as well.
21:24Oh, he has to score.
21:27Oh, he had an open goal.
21:29That was his thing as well.
21:30I really wanted to assist speed today.
21:32Oh, yeah.
21:33Touch from Joe.
21:35Straight past him.
21:36Max was trying to get a yellow card there.
21:38He knew exactly what he was doing.
21:39He had the shredder in his pocket.
21:41Oh, God.
21:44Oh, it eventually worked.
21:46And Max is like, where's my card?
21:47Where's my card?
21:49But he got the picture.
21:50And that's all that matters.
21:52There we go.
21:53This is the moment.
21:54The biggest moment of the match.
21:57Jump, mate.
21:58Oh, my God.
21:59He must have been so nervous for this.
22:01Slots it home.
22:03And Josh Serka gets his goal.
22:05Oh, as the ball goes flying.
22:07In a charity match.
22:09Where better to do it other than Wembley Stadium
22:11with 90,000 people.
22:12Even Chips celebrated, mate.
22:14That is a moment to treasure forever.
22:16Really well taken penalty, you know.
22:18He struck it clean.
22:19Bottom left-hand corner.
22:21Very nice.
22:22And it's 6-4.
22:23And then we have another through ball over the top from Chris.
22:26And look.
22:27He had to be onside.
22:28He had to be onside there.
22:29Jin's really wanted to speed the goal.
22:30And I said to Speed, like, this is your moment.
22:32Keep it down like we practice.
22:34Head over the ball.
22:35Put your foot through it.
22:36It's a speed penalty.
22:37So from Josh scoring at one end.
22:38Getting his first goal.
22:39Speed.
22:40The other end, just moments later.
22:42It's another penalty.
22:43This is it.
22:44This is it.
22:45The moment from Josh scoring to Speed scoring.
22:53Just does it.
22:54Such a poor penalty.
22:55Oh, my God.
22:56It's such a bad penalty.
22:57But XQC pushes it into the corner.
22:59That Sue was so loud.
23:01He's done it.
23:03This is where we realised we were witnessing something very cool.
23:06You know, everything was happening in this match.
23:08Everything was happening.
23:10What a moment, man.
23:13Oh, yeah.
23:15Oh, yeah.
23:17Jin's was offside.
23:18Wait, Jin's was offside.
23:19Jin's was offside there.
23:20The flag should have gone up.
23:21Jin's takes it.
23:22But if he'd left it for Speed.
23:24Speed could have scored an open play goal there.
23:27Let's have another look at this, shall we?
23:29Boom.
23:30Well offside there, Jin's.
23:31You should have left it for Speed.
23:33But well taken goal anyway.
23:34Well done, mate.
23:35This is another sketch save, isn't it?
23:37Throwing it to Simon.
23:39Simon to Vic.
23:40He misses it.
23:41Joe.
23:42Sketch of the save.
23:43Oh, my God.
23:44And a will and knee.
23:45That is the definition for dying for the badge.
23:48He put his body on the line there.
23:50Mark actually gave a penalty for a hard ball.
23:52But then he looked at the replay.
23:55He said VAR.
23:56Looked at the big screen.
23:57Saw it a header off the line.
23:59Look.
24:00Look at this.
24:02Wow.
24:03Wow, Will.
24:04Oh, yeah.
24:05This could have been another assist from myself.
24:07Oh, wait, no.
24:08Was that a header off George there?
24:09Oh, this had to be a goal.
24:11Oh, mate.
24:12Why is he taking it on his left?
24:14Oh, it's so bad.
24:16Oh, no.
24:17Why did he take it on his left?
24:19He had a bad touch.
24:20Put it on his left.
24:21Apparently, I've read.
24:22He had a 5XG from the game.
24:24Lovely pass.
24:25Yeah.
24:33I had an opportunity there to hit it with my left foot for the perfect hat-trick.
24:36But I thought, Niko, you need a goal.
24:38And seconds later, Chunks picks it up and makes it 7-6.
24:43Yeah, cultured finish.
24:44Cultured finish.
24:45Cultured finish.
24:46I've just realised.
24:48Where the hell are Chunks' shin pads?
24:49His socks are down by his ankles.
24:53Oh, yeah.
24:54Oh, yeah.
24:55Left-footed pass into speed.
24:57Another chance.
24:58What is that?
25:00What am I witnessing there?
25:02He somehow managed to get a shot on target.
25:09Ha-ha.
25:10Spencer.
25:12Yeah, Chunks.
25:13Well played.
25:14Well played, Chunks.
25:15Left foot.
25:17I can see him far-posed.
25:18Into speed.
25:19Tell you what.
25:20This might be one of the goals of the day, you know.
25:22Speed's done so well.
25:24Kyle with the finish.
25:32That's a really good goal.
25:33Genuinely a really good goal.
25:35Left foot across.
25:36Plosh.
25:40The pre-assist.
25:41And speed.
25:43Look at the...
25:44Look at the speed.
25:45Look at the pace on this.
25:47How has he got on the end of that?
25:50Wow.
25:52And then a cultured finish.
25:53Look at that.
25:54Off the shin and the knee.
25:55That's definitely my favourite goal, I think.
26:07Jay's done so well there.
26:10Sketch for the save.
26:11Sketch played so well.
26:12Joe played so well.
26:13Here we go.
26:16Into Ronaldo.
26:17Oh, Ronaldo misses it, sadly.
26:22Oh, tell you what, Simon.
26:24That is when they're lacking a striker because that was a great ball in.
26:28Oh, I handed that.
26:29Sorry, Manny.
26:30I handed that into your face and then off the line.
26:32I can defend, guys.
26:33I'm so sorry, Vic.
26:34I denied you of a goal at Wembley but I had to.
26:37I had to clear it.
26:38It would have looked awful if I had let that in.
26:40It's one of these free kicks.
26:41I see the space.
26:42Yeah, there's the space.
26:45We're in.
26:46I see Speed.
26:49Find him.
26:50Oh, I don't find him, actually.
26:51I tried to find him.
26:52That's a really bad cross there.
26:54Yeah, see you later, Randy.
26:57Back in the box.
26:59Oh, Nico with the header.
27:02To be fair to Nico there, I think Speed's put him off with the cross.
27:05I know this is such a minor thing.
27:06I've just crossed that with my right foot, like, easily.
27:09I'm so happy it's working, guys.
27:11Honestly, I know it doesn't seem like a lot like I'm kicking with my right foot
27:14but to me, it genuinely means everything.
27:19Ronaldo.
27:20Oh, it's Jinxie, sorry.
27:21Oh, it's another opportunity for Speed there.
27:23What's he doing?
27:24What's he doing?
27:25Why hasn't he just kicked it at the goal?
27:28Even Spencer's like, what's he doing?
27:30That looked like he purposely kicked it away from the goal.
27:33Yeah.
27:35Yeah.
27:36That was bad defending from me there.
27:37I should have stuck a leg in here.
27:40And it's a goal.
27:41Down the middle.
27:428-7.
27:43Comeback is on.
27:47Yeah, Ethan with the goal.
27:49Simon assist.
27:50It's perfect, isn't it?
27:51And there's the knee slide.
27:53Irons.
27:54Guillermo.
27:55This is a bit of a calamity at the back here with 10 minutes to go.
27:58I think this is Danny's...
27:59Oh, Nico.
28:00Why is he not passing to Speed there?
28:02But then Danny, that's a good save for SQC.
28:04Double save from SQC there.
28:06And he hurts his hand.
28:07How did we not score about 15 goals?
28:10I don't know.
28:13What has Mark said to me there?
28:14The ref.
28:15He said to me,
28:16You know what, there, man?
28:17Pretty good.
28:18Everyone depends.
28:19He's a Geordie.
28:20I won't do the Geordie accent.
28:21I'm really bad.
28:22But he was like, this is really exciting.
28:23This could go to penalties.
28:27I'll tell you what.
28:28I'll tell you what, Nico.
28:29Out of all the chances you had in this game,
28:32that is by far the hardest.
28:33And you got it on target.
28:34I've got a bit of time on the ball here.
28:36Looking to play the pass.
28:38Into Lachlan.
28:39I thought he had a good game.
28:43Up into Carey.
28:44He was actually all right.
28:461-2 of Jinxy there.
28:49Oh, I just got through into Nico.
28:52That was a tough chance for Nico there, to be fair.
28:56It's a great ball.
28:57Oh, this was Nico's opportunity for another goal.
28:59That is a difficult header.
29:00Look at this.
29:01Look at this.
29:03Yeah, that's tough.
29:04Here we go.
29:05Four minutes to go.
29:06Eitel.
29:07Long ball over the top.
29:09Chances on side.
29:11Oh, we had chances.
29:13We had chances.
29:14And Harry with the header and the clearance once again.
29:18Two minutes to go.
29:22Jinx for a guy that had such a good game.
29:27George is like, what did I do here?
29:29We thought we bottled it.
29:30Guys, look at the clock.
29:3188-50.
29:32There's one minute to go until the game ends.
29:35Oh, Jinx felt awful, mate.
29:36He felt so bad because he had such a good game.
29:39And we thought we'd lost it.
29:40We thought we'd lost it.
29:42Look, it's going in.
29:43As you can see, it's an OG.
29:44And then George takes it and gets his goal.
29:47But then, cometh the man.
29:49Cometh the hour.
29:51From kickoff, me and Chris were like, lads, give Chris the ball.
29:54And Chris will give me the ball.
29:56And we will get back into this game.
29:5889-35.
30:00Into me.
30:01I look up.
30:08Oh, it's so sick.
30:11Oh, I should have done a better celebration.
30:13Why did I do a better celebration?
30:15That was deserving of the moment.
30:16Why did I need side or something?
30:18Why do I always bottle for celebrations?
30:20And there you go.
30:2190 minutes on the clock.
30:25Two working hits.
30:26Chris into me.
30:27I take a look up.
30:28I see a run in the middle.
30:29I go, no.
30:30Near post.
30:31You see, there's the look.
30:32There's the look.
30:34And George tried to get me there as well.
30:37And there it is.
30:38We take it to Penz.
30:39Off my hat trick.
30:41And that confirms me as the Golden Blue winner.
30:44Most goals in the game.
30:45Adidas gave me this.
30:46How exciting is this?
30:47And it goes to Penz.
30:49The first ever penalty shootout.
30:51And it's Simon.
30:52Mate, this.
30:54Stick on target and it goes in.
30:55No.
30:57That save, mate.
30:58When Sketch made that save, we knew we'd won.
31:00Honestly, we knew we'd won.
31:02All we have to do is get it on target and it goes in.
31:04That save is so good.
31:07He puts his arm over.
31:08He puts his arm over.
31:10Like a professional goalkeeper, guys.
31:12This guy.
31:14That is such a good save.
31:16That is genuinely such a good save.
31:20So good.
31:21Let's keep it down, Dej.
31:24I don't think he scored a single penalty in training.
31:27Well done, Dej.
31:28You're proud of you, mate.
31:29Mark Rober.
31:32Yeah.
31:33Light work.
31:34I'm loving Sketch moving like a crab up and down the line as well.
31:36Like putting him off.
31:37He's clearly done his research on how to go and goal.
31:40And then it was my turn, guys.
31:41Weirdly, I felt so confident.
31:43I didn't have any nerves.
31:44I guess you get it on target and it's likely a goal.
31:46But still.
31:47Still, we saw what happened with Simon.
31:49A save could have come out of anywhere.
31:50When I stepped forward, I heard a couple of boos.
31:53I said, yeah.
31:54Bring it on, lads.
31:55Bring it on.
32:04Bosh.
32:05Bit boring.
32:06It was boring.
32:07But also, we didn't want to win.
32:09I should have done something.
32:10But you know what?
32:11It's a goal.
32:12I scored a penalty in a penalty shootout at Wembley.
32:13No one can take that away from me.
32:15And I will treasure that forever.
32:18I was very confident in Harry's score on this penalty.
32:20He's actually a very good penalty taker.
32:21But Sketch, mate.
32:22Look at that bins.
32:23That is absolute bins, by the way.
32:25I think Sketch does get a hand to it.
32:27Which is kind of impressive.
32:28This no-look pen is a joke.
32:32Bottom.
32:33Ballet is such a bottom corner.
32:36The photos of this are wild as well.
32:38That is a cold no-look penalty.
32:41Here we go, Joe.
32:42With the pen.
32:44Smashes it home.
32:45That is such a top corner as well.
32:47The bulls on that, mate.
32:49Fair play, Joe.
32:50Look, it means so much to me as well.
32:52I'm so happy.
32:53And then it's Nico.
32:54He's had countless opportunities in the game.
33:00And he does it.
33:01He does it.
33:03I'm happy he got his goal as well.
33:04He was deserved.
33:05He deserved his goal.
33:06As I said, after all the opportunities, he definitely deserved his goal.
33:09I'm happy that went in.
33:10We also sort of wanted JJ to score his penalty
33:12to give Speed the opportunity to win the game.
33:15So there was a lot on this penalty.
33:17Miss.
33:18Obviously, Sidemen lose.
33:19Score gives Speed the opportunity to win the game.
33:21So there was a lot of pressure riding on this penalty.
33:24That run-up is wild though.
33:26Well taken.
33:27Well taken penalty.
33:28And this is it, lads.
33:29This was the moment.
33:30Speed's got his goal at Wembley.
33:32And now he has the opportunity to win the game for the All-Stars.
33:35First win since what?
33:372017, I think it was?
33:40Here we go.
33:43Mate.
33:44His legs went like jelly.
33:46It's the worst penalty I've ever seen.
33:48How that went in, I do not know.
33:50The aura is crazy.
33:51We win at Wembley!
33:53As soon as we ran over, we were all like, go for Sketch.
33:56Sketch has won us that penalty shootout.
33:58And he's kept us in the game as well.
34:00What a guy, man.
34:01What a performance from Sketch.
34:03Oh my God.
34:05Last minute equaliser.
34:079-0.
34:08Penalty shootout.
34:09Speed winning penalty.
34:11Guys, that was the best game ever.
34:14And this man right here.
34:15Let's go.
34:16You're the fucking player.
34:17Come on, bro.
34:18Yes, come on.
34:19We did it, man.
34:20Well done, bro.
34:21We did it.
34:22You got your winning penalty.
34:23I did it.
34:24And you scored.
34:25Hey, Theo said I was going to get a goal today, man.
34:26You got two.
34:27You got two.
34:28I got two.
34:29Wait, guys.
34:30We didn't realise this.
34:31We're doing the Wembley walk.
34:32Two out of two wins, as Gabby, you know.
34:34Yes!
34:35On the Taylor Road and Wembley.
34:36That's why I said I came to win.
34:41Let's go!
34:45That's my line.
34:46That's my line.
34:47Backside.
34:48This is it.
34:49This is what professional footballers live for, dream for.
35:02Where's that trophy gone?
35:03I want to lift it.
35:04Who's got the trophy?
35:08On my own.
35:09I did it though.
35:10I did it at Wembley.
35:15Let's go!
35:19Golden boot.
35:20Match ball.
35:22And where it all started.
35:26And where it's now finished.
35:28All the way to Wembley.
35:31No, I didn't.
35:33But I am going to go eat a lot of food now.
35:35So there you go.
35:36And there we are, guys.
35:37That was the Sidemen charity match 2025.
35:40The game had everything.
35:42It was truly one of the greatest things to be a part of.
35:45Thank you so much to the Sidemen boys for just making this all possible.
35:49And £4.7 million raised for charity is just insane.
35:53And then on a personal note as well.
35:55Coming back from my injury, it couldn't have gone any better.
35:58To score two goals with my right foot ahead.
36:00Just to get through the game uninjured and feel good about it as well.
36:03It means so much to me.
36:04You guys don't understand.
36:06To come away with the golden boot.
36:07Apparently I was player of the match up until Sketch made the save.
36:10Which was thoroughly deserved to win him the player of the match.
36:12But on FopMob, I got a 9.7 rating.
36:15I was the player of the match on FopMob.
36:17Really quickly, let me tell you about a fantastic app called FopMob.
36:20Guys, you all know FopMob.
36:21And if you don't, get to know it.
36:23It is the best football app in the world.
36:25It is the go-to place for all notifications, live scores, lineups, results, fixtures.
36:31And more importantly, the information about the Sidemen charity match.
36:35Who scored, what ratings occurred.
36:37It's just the best app in the world, guys.
36:39Make sure you download it using the link in the description down below.
36:42And we're going to quickly run through some of the ratings from FopMob.
36:45Theobaker, 9.7.
36:47Three goals.
36:48If you're wondering what my XG was, it was 1.04.
36:52Outforming his XG.
36:53You'll have to see it.
36:54Accurate passes, 100%.
36:5614 out of 14.
36:58Expected assists, 0.37.
37:00Big chances created one.
37:01Why don't they have pre-assists?
37:03They should have pre-assists on here.
37:04My header, which I scored, was a 0.53 XG.
37:07My second was a 0.05.
37:09Hat-trick goal, to equalise it in the 90th minute, was 0.07.
37:13Penalty was 0.79.
37:15I think I had another shot.
37:17Oh, that was the volley, wasn't it?
37:18The volley was a 0.39, which I'm really happy with.
37:20Accurate long balls, 100%.
37:22Successful dribbles, 1 out of 4.
37:24A bit poor there, Theo, but...
37:25Clearances, 2.
37:27Recovery is 3, it was a good game.
37:28Should we have a look at Angry Ginge?
37:296.4 rated.
37:31But he did complete the most passes, 34 in the match.
37:34Actually, what was the XG?
37:35Oh my goodness me.
37:36Simon had a 5.24 XG.
37:38It was 50% ball possession, which is quite interesting.
37:40YouTube All-Stars, 8.1 XG.
37:43You know what speed?
37:44Everyone said you had a 5 XG online.
37:46Yeah, she had a 2.82.
37:47So we'll let him off.
37:48He was the most fouled player in the match, though, and won the most duels.
37:50We should cut a rate.
37:51As I said, guys, best app in the world.
37:53All your Premier League notifications, all football notifications.
37:55Get it on Fotmob, download it.
37:57Use my link in the description down below.
37:59And this, the match ball.
38:01By the time the game had ended, I'd forgotten I needed the match ball for scoring a hat-trick.
38:04And there was none left.
38:05So I ran into the referee's changing room and Mark Clattenburg gave me his match ball, which he was taking home.
38:09So thank you so much, Mark.
38:10It's signed by all the lads.
38:12Got my medal back there.
38:13I don't know why.
38:14Someone put an XL t-shirt in my bag.
38:16It's got no name on the back.
38:17I don't know whose it is.
38:18I think it's just like a spare shirt.
38:19If you want this, leave a comment down below saying, I want the shirt.
38:22Drop a like on the video.
38:23Make sure you subscribe.
38:24And I'll give this away to one of you lot from the comments.
38:25What a game.
38:26What a day.
38:27It was amazing.
38:28Bye-bye.