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Transcript
00:00:30Oh, God.
00:00:32Hello?
00:00:37Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:40I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:44So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:48Sue, um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52Um, I think I'm gonna spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55Uh, I'm gonna lose my virginity to him.
00:00:58You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:00What? But you can't.
00:01:02I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:05Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:07You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:11You know, I'm gonna tell Lexi.
00:01:13She's gonna be very unhappy about this.
00:01:22Come on, Lexi.
00:01:28Let's go.
00:01:37So, girls, what are we gonna do for our birthday?
00:01:40Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:45But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:47I mean, every year since our moms met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:51But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:54So, what's something we've never done before?
00:01:57Mushrooms?
00:01:58No, not like that. Like something nice.
00:02:01Like maybe a trip.
00:02:03Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:05No.
00:02:07Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:10So do I.
00:02:12Sorry, Sue.
00:02:13Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:17Oh, flowers. Are these from you?
00:02:19Yeah, sure.
00:02:21Here you go.
00:02:23No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:26I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:29I guess, um...
00:02:31you still make me nervous.
00:02:34Oh, Jake.
00:02:39I'm sorry.
00:02:41I'm sorry.
00:02:43Oh, Jake.
00:02:47Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:50Uh, no, Jake. Not yet.
00:02:52When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:55The best night of my life.
00:02:56It will be. I promise.
00:02:58It'll always be amazing.
00:03:00With you and me.
00:03:02Together.
00:03:05Jake, no. I have to go.
00:03:07I have to work on my art project.
00:03:10You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:13but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:16Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:19The Saturday?
00:03:21Of course.
00:03:25Thanks.
00:03:27Okay. Bye.
00:03:35Bye.
00:03:43Oh, baby. You're so hot.
00:03:45I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:47Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:49What was your name again?
00:03:50Rob. Sex guy.
00:03:55Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:03:59Yeah, right. I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:11Do not compute.
00:04:13Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:18Oh, huh. Hi.
00:04:20When did you get home?
00:04:23So, is it true?
00:04:24Yes, it is.
00:04:26It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:30I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy
00:04:35and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:37So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:40Lexi, tell her.
00:04:41Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:43we should all face together.
00:04:45On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:47Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday.
00:04:49Or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:04:52Eight. Maybe.
00:04:55Listen, guys, I know it's tradition,
00:04:58but I'm sorry.
00:05:03I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:11But, Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:14We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:20It's not Jake.
00:05:22It's the male ideal.
00:05:24Like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:28Right.
00:05:30Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:32I mean, it kind of sucks. I'm not really an artist.
00:05:34Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:39on the same day, and I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:42I'm waiting for a sign, and then I'll know it's right.
00:05:45Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:52I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:55Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year,
00:06:01then maybe we all should.
00:06:04You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:10Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:13To church, to pray for you.
00:06:15I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting this is...
00:06:19Yeah, me too.
00:06:23♪♪♪
00:06:29Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:31It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:33I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:35Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,
00:06:40but it's about sex.
00:06:43Mm-hmm.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:47I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:49Mm-hmm.
00:06:51I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:53Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll,
00:06:56but I was dressing him up as Jesus,
00:06:58and I wanted to see his thing,
00:07:00but there was nothing there.
00:07:04Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:06My best friends.
00:07:08They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:10Okay.
00:07:12Third base.
00:07:14What? No.
00:07:16Like, sex. Like, intercourse.
00:07:18With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:20I mean, they really need us intervention,
00:07:22if you know what I mean.
00:07:24All the way. Go all the way.
00:07:26What are you...
00:07:28What?
00:07:30Ah!
00:07:32How could you do...
00:07:34You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:38What?
00:07:44Yes. Yes!
00:07:46Run! Run!
00:07:48Ah!
00:07:50Damn it!
00:07:52Fucking Yankees.
00:07:56Sorry.
00:08:18Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:22I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:28I have an announcement to make.
00:08:30I want to do it.
00:08:32Do you hear me? I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:36On our birthday.
00:08:38Do what?
00:08:40It. Screw.
00:08:42You know, screwing, boning,
00:08:44making the beast with two backs.
00:08:46Shagging, fucking.
00:08:50You do.
00:08:52But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:54And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:58Really?
00:09:00Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:04So we'll have a big pool party
00:09:06and we'll do it there.
00:09:08Right?
00:09:10Right.
00:09:12I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:16Okay.
00:09:22Hey, Frank.
00:09:24Hi, Sue.
00:09:26Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:28I don't know. Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:30Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:32Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:38Maybe.
00:09:40Hey.
00:09:42I was wondering.
00:09:44It's tomorrow night. It's for our birthday.
00:09:46Do you want to come?
00:09:48Do you think he can see up my short?
00:10:00Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18.
00:10:06And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep
00:10:10because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:12So, okay.
00:10:14We know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake.
00:10:16And I'll probably do that guy, Rod.
00:10:18But Sue, who are you going to pick to pop your chain?
00:10:20It's easy.
00:10:22I've known for the past six years,
00:10:24ever since catechism.
00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:28I think it's a baby panda
00:10:30wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris?
00:10:44Sue, you, um,
00:10:46might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:50What? No. Chris is perfect.
00:10:52He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:54Plus, his name's Chris. It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign
00:10:58is that Chris has a major case
00:11:00of gay face.
00:11:02What? He does not.
00:11:04Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:06He looks just like Justin Bieber
00:11:08with a little bit of Zac Efron
00:11:10Just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:12Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:16Okay, well,
00:11:18sweet dreams.
00:11:20See you in the morning.
00:11:28I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:30I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:40You're so perfect.
00:12:10I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:40Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:02Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:04Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:06Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:08Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:30Oh, my gosh.
00:13:32They're coming.
00:13:34Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:42It's gonna be really sexy. I'm gonna spritz it.
00:13:44You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid. Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants. That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ. Can I have your mouth, too?
00:13:56Anyway,
00:13:58what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:14:00not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:04A very smooth, plastic wrapped idiot.
00:14:08Guys, seriously, come on. Hurry up.
00:14:14Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:18Um...
00:14:20You should put that down, though, because it's like...
00:14:22It's very fragile.
00:14:24Yeah.
00:14:26Hurry up.
00:14:28Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:30Yeah.
00:14:36Wow.
00:14:50Ooh, this part is hot!
00:14:52Whoa!
00:14:54Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:56Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.
00:14:58Nice!
00:15:00Oh, fuck.
00:15:02Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:15:06Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:08No, Joanna,
00:15:10we said no gifts.
00:15:12That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:14but be careful, it stings.
00:15:16And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:18Oh, how did you know?
00:15:20I mean, I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:28Foster, such a cutie.
00:15:30Please don't touch my service tie.
00:15:32All right, sorry.
00:15:34Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:38Okay, see you later.
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:46Hi!
00:15:48Happy birthday.
00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:52What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:00Oh, hon.
00:16:02Yeah.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later,
00:16:10when the time's right.
00:16:12You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:14And I have a present for you
00:16:16that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:18Hey, Ralph,
00:16:20we need you to settle
00:16:22this bet over here real quick.
00:16:24What bet?
00:16:26All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:28Hey.
00:16:30How you doing?
00:16:32Hi.
00:16:40Check it out!
00:16:42Dare me?
00:16:44Dare me?
00:17:00Oh, dude, look at those!
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:04Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:06Hey, I do move!
00:17:08Oh, all right, okay.
00:17:10I'll see you guys later.
00:17:12Bunny Bunny says,
00:17:14by the end of the day,
00:17:16I will be motorboating those kiddies.
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:20Who cares?
00:17:22Okay.
00:17:24Who cares?
00:17:26Oh, dude, dude!
00:17:28I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:32Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:34Here, let me.
00:17:36Joanna, no.
00:17:38Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:40Hey,
00:17:42do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:44I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:46Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:48I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:50He just, like, disappeared.
00:18:02Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:06How come I've never met you before?
00:18:08I don't know, maybe he's gonna be around.
00:18:10Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:14Maybe upstairs, I don't know.
00:18:16Oh.
00:18:18Maybe he went to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where he went.
00:18:22Go roll.
00:18:24Liquid Courage?
00:18:26Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:32Vodka Cranberry?
00:18:34Shirley Temple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:38I gotta go meet Rad.
00:18:40Sue, are you okay?
00:18:42Sue, relax.
00:18:44They're just lies.
00:18:46Okay, nothing to be scared of, seriously.
00:18:48You're gonna be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:56Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No, he does not have a gay face.
00:19:00I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:02I'm gonna do it.
00:19:06I'm gonna do this.
00:19:08Good luck.
00:19:10Hey, you can do this.
00:19:12Just act like a slut.
00:19:16Just pretend...
00:19:18you're Lexi.
00:19:30Oh, my God.
00:19:32Oh, my God.
00:19:34Oh, my God.
00:19:36Yeah, my favorite chapter
00:19:38is Psalm and Glory.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:42Hi.
00:19:44Can I talk to you?
00:19:46In private?
00:19:48No.
00:20:00Hey, Lexi.
00:20:02What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:06You're so sexy.
00:20:08Ever since you played Jesus at camp,
00:20:10I've just...
00:20:12I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:14And I really want to...
00:20:16Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:18Is that wrong?
00:20:20Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:22Nothing. I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:30I understand
00:20:32these urges.
00:20:34And, you know,
00:20:36I like you, too.
00:20:38Really? You do?
00:20:40I do. I really do.
00:20:42I like you, too.
00:20:44Really? You do?
00:20:46I do. I really do.
00:20:48It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot
00:20:52of my life to one
00:20:54certain man.
00:20:56Right. Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:21:00Oh, that man.
00:21:02Of course. What did you think?
00:21:04Oh, nothing.
00:21:06So we can still do this, then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know,
00:21:12for me,
00:21:14when I think about that man
00:21:16who died for our sins,
00:21:18when I think about him
00:21:20up there on that cross,
00:21:22so helpless yet so
00:21:24muscular
00:21:26with his strong
00:21:28thighs
00:21:30crossed over each other
00:21:32so delicately
00:21:34beneath that ragged
00:21:36loincloth,
00:21:38growing so hot,
00:21:40so sweaty under that hot,
00:21:42hot sun,
00:21:44I just feel such
00:21:46compassion.
00:21:48I think about those things, too.
00:21:50So you understand
00:21:52why I can't do this?
00:21:54Not really.
00:21:56I just find it too hard.
00:21:58It is to give in
00:22:00to carnal pleasure when
00:22:02he sacrificed so much
00:22:04for us.
00:22:06So...
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00:26:06I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:26:08That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:10What a bitch.
00:26:11Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:15Ah!
00:26:16Ah!
00:26:17Ah!
00:26:18Ah!
00:26:19Ah!
00:26:20Ah!
00:26:21Ah!
00:26:22Ah!
00:26:23Ah!
00:26:24Ah!
00:26:25Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:27Ah!
00:26:28Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:32Ah!
00:26:33Ah!
00:26:34Ah!
00:26:35Ah!
00:26:36Ah!
00:26:37Ah!
00:26:38Oh, shit!
00:26:39What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:40Nice shot!
00:26:41Correct hit!
00:26:43You got a problem?
00:26:47Hmm.
00:26:48I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe, maybe it's my fault.
00:27:18That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:22No, it's awful. I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:31It's a text. It's from him. Um, I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:34Okay. Uh, he's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:39Oh, I can't face him. Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:43No, you can't just leave.
00:27:45Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:50No. Well, either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:53Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:27:57I'm leaving.
00:27:58Revenge sex.
00:28:00Reve... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:02It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:09Revenge sex.
00:28:10Reve... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:12It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:17But he... I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would...
00:28:21He's just into other girls.
00:28:23Trust me. He'll care.
00:28:25Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:28To his ego. To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:32Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:37No, I couldn't.
00:28:39Plus, I mean, there's... there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:43Eric! He's perfect!
00:28:45Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:28:47I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:28:51Really? And what type is that?
00:28:53He's flirty.
00:28:55Yeah.
00:28:56Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:00Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:29:04Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else.
00:29:07Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:13Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:16I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:18No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:20Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:25to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:28and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:29:31and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:34But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:38I don't know.
00:29:41But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:45I don't know.
00:29:46Trust me. It's going to work.
00:29:54I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:58Hi, Cheryl.
00:29:59Hey, enough, you jackass.
00:30:00Oh, no.
00:30:12Hey.
00:30:14Happy birthday.
00:30:17Thanks.
00:30:30Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:35So, happy birthday.
00:30:42Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:46But it's actually from us, U.S.
00:30:49America?
00:30:52Yeah.
00:30:53Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:55But it's actually from us, U.S.
00:30:57America?
00:30:59United States?
00:31:01I know where we live.
00:31:02Right.
00:31:03Of course.
00:31:07I know where we live.
00:31:08Right.
00:31:09Of course.
00:31:15Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:17Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:18Yeah, no, I can totally move. I just...
00:31:20No, you're fine.
00:31:23Okay.
00:31:33Jake!
00:31:36So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:39Oh, I'm sorry, it? What, um...
00:31:43It, like monkey bone in and like pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:49Oh, oh, you mean like, uh, right now?
00:31:55I mean, well, yeah, you know, the sooner the better.
00:31:59Yeah, sure, I mean, yeah, of course.
00:32:02I just never realized that you...
00:32:05I mean...
00:32:10It's just...
00:32:12You're so...
00:32:15You're so beautiful.
00:32:16Okay, um...
00:32:18No cuisine.
00:32:20Right, um, of course. Sorry.
00:32:26So, um...
00:32:28Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:31Oh, wow, uh, you wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:36Now that you're leftover, you're not.
00:32:38You're fresh.
00:32:42Now that you're leftover, you're not.
00:32:44You're fresh.
00:32:45You're fresh.
00:32:47Organic.
00:32:48Yep.
00:32:51So the wrap.
00:32:52Right.
00:32:55Where's the, uh...
00:32:56It's, uh, the end is, the edge is like right over here.
00:32:59Oh, oh, yeah, here it is. I see it.
00:33:01Let me just, uh...
00:33:04Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:05Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:33:07It's okay. Do it again.
00:33:11Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:14You know what? Let me just lay you on the bed.
00:33:18Okay.
00:33:23Uh, let me just see.
00:33:27Oh, here it is. I got it.
00:33:28All right, just, um, pull it.
00:33:30Let me just...
00:33:34Oh, jeez. Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:37Are you okay?
00:33:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:44Oh, jeez.
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:55Yeah.
00:34:01How you doing tonight?
00:34:02You having a good time?
00:34:03Yeah.
00:34:04Jake, I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:08What? I can't hear you.
00:34:10I need another beer.
00:34:12Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:13Jake!
00:34:14Sorry, we're...
00:34:15Upstairs. Yeah.
00:34:17Hold on. I'll take a piss.
00:34:19How much beer?
00:34:21How much beer?
00:34:23Bad girl. Bad girl.
00:34:25Bad girl.
00:34:26Bad girl.
00:34:49Finally.
00:34:50I, uh...
00:34:52Let me just get the blinds.
00:34:53Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:55Um, don't worry about it.
00:34:57What?
00:34:58I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:02Oh.
00:35:04Well, okay.
00:35:05Okay.
00:35:07Are you okay?
00:35:08Uh, yeah.
00:35:09Yeah, I'm...
00:35:10Yeah?
00:35:11I'm okay, I'm fine.
00:35:12Um, you're a freaking weirdo.
00:35:14I mean, you're my...
00:35:15Yeah.
00:35:16Like, I'm your friend.
00:35:17We're best friends.
00:35:18Like, I'm going to be okay.
00:35:19No.
00:35:20You're going to be good.
00:35:21I'm a weirdo.
00:35:22No.
00:35:23Okay.
00:35:24Do you want to ask me a questions?
00:35:25Uh, yeah.
00:35:26Uh, yeah.
00:35:27Yeah.
00:35:28Okay, do it.
00:35:29Okay, well, good luck.
00:35:30What about you?
00:35:31Oh, good luck.
00:35:32This is my first time in my life.
00:35:33Wow.
00:35:34You're gonna make me cry.
00:35:35Well, okay.
00:35:36Okay.
00:36:05What are you doing?
00:36:23I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:29Not yet.
00:36:32More foreplay.
00:36:32Huh? Oh.
00:36:40So good.
00:36:42Oh.
00:36:44Yep.
00:36:45Oh, my jaw.
00:36:47Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:49What? What?
00:36:50Ah, ah, oh.
00:36:51Ah, jeez.
00:36:53Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:54Is that even a thing?
00:36:57I don't know.
00:36:59Ah.
00:37:00Are you okay?
00:37:04No, no, no, no, no.
00:37:05It's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:06I'm just embarrassed.
00:37:09It's probably TNJ or fracture, swollen.
00:37:15You sure you're okay?
00:37:17Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:18Okay, great.
00:37:19Have fun.
00:37:20Oh.
00:37:26Now.
00:37:27Now, let's do it now.
00:37:27Not yet, not yet.
00:37:31All right, I'm gonna come.
00:37:32I'm gonna come, are you ready?
00:37:33Not yet, not yet.
00:37:34No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:36No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:37Lexi, Lexi.
00:37:38Oh.
00:37:39Oh.
00:37:43No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:44Lexi, Lexi.
00:37:45Oh.
00:37:48No means no.
00:37:50Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:51I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:52It's been a really long time and I just,
00:37:54I haven't masturbated to her or anything.
00:38:02Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:05How you doing?
00:38:07How's it going?
00:38:08Good.
00:38:09Eric?
00:38:10Come...
00:38:11Eric, help me. I'm blind. I can't see anything.
00:38:15Excuse me.
00:38:19Cheryl's in here.
00:38:24What's up, bro?
00:38:26What the fuck is...
00:38:29Hey, wait!
00:38:31Relax.
00:38:32Babe, still waiting.
00:38:39Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:44Damn it.
00:38:45I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:38:47Hey, you.
00:38:50You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:54Bark!
00:38:56I'm so sorry. I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:00Bark!
00:39:23Oh, man. No more water balloons.
00:39:25This party's ass.
00:39:29Yeah!
00:39:33This just isn't working out.
00:39:36Nothing.
00:39:37What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:42I'm a character, man. Watch this.
00:39:44Spark it up.
00:39:46Yes!
00:39:49Oh, man!
00:39:51I love this game!
00:39:52Where's the controllers? We gotta put it here.
00:39:54Okay, let me find another one.
00:40:00What is this?
00:40:04Pew! Pew! Pew!
00:40:05Get that thing away! Jesus!
00:40:14Hey, dude. Nice shot.
00:40:17Wasn't me.
00:40:22Whoa! Whoa! Nice!
00:40:25Are you sitting on it or something?
00:40:29Hey, you found the grenade launcher. Nice. Nice.
00:40:43Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:55Whoa!
00:40:57You are the controller.
00:40:59No, I just...
00:41:01I didn't... I swear, I...
00:41:14Hey, it's Sue.
00:41:15What's going on, man?
00:41:19It's okay. Hey, it's Sue.
00:41:26Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:28Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:31Oh, sure.
00:41:33Listen, Sue.
00:41:35I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:39You were?
00:41:40You mean...
00:41:42Yeah.
00:41:46So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:49Could we go get a drink?
00:41:52Sure.
00:41:53Could we go get a drink?
00:41:57Wow, your toilet's really...
00:42:02Do you know what? I gotta go.
00:42:04Happy birthday.
00:42:05No, Chris. No, that wasn't... I didn't...
00:42:08God, never mind.
00:42:10This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:12Never going to have sex.
00:42:14Ow.
00:42:40Hello? A little attention here.
00:42:43Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:42:50Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:52Oh, right. Sorry.
00:43:10Ugh. Jeez.
00:43:12Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:15Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:18Screw it.
00:43:40Oh, God.
00:44:01That was bad.
00:44:02That was so bad.
00:44:10Joanna.
00:44:11Do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:15I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:20Hey.
00:44:21Does your name start with a J?
00:44:24Yes, it does.
00:44:26So you're JJ?
00:44:27Uh-uh.
00:44:29Hello, welcome to WandaVision's show.
00:44:32I'm your conductor, Lex.
00:44:34If you're a fan of the show,
00:44:36I'd like you to meet our co-host,
00:44:38Mark Cameron.
00:44:40Mark is a licensed producer
00:44:41and his TV channel is WandaVision.
00:44:43It's his show,
00:44:45and he's on the show.
00:44:47So you're going to be a guest?
00:44:48Yes, I am.
00:44:49So, Mark, how are you?
00:44:51I'm glad to be here.
00:44:53Hello. Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:01A nun.
00:45:02Please punch in your credit card number. Please hold.
00:45:09Oh, thank goodness. 1-900-CONFESSION. How may I be of service?
00:45:17It's been one day since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:23One day.
00:45:30Is that too long? I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:34Go on.
00:45:36Okay, well, I've been touching myself. Inappropriately. Well, actually, I didn't. A washing machine did.
00:45:42What's her problem?
00:45:44A washing machine touched her.
00:45:47Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:50Alright, freak. Time's up.
00:45:52What? But what do I do?
00:45:54Just unplug the thing.
00:45:56No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:59Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:46:02I'm serious.
00:46:04Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.
00:46:09Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:12No contusions?
00:46:14You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:46:18So the washing machine could touch me anytime? Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:24Yes, and other things can touch you. Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:29Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:32Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:35He sure is. Now run along.
00:46:40Wow. How do you know all that?
00:46:43Because I'm a nun. Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:47Huh. Accidental masturbation. Who'd have thought?
00:46:59Revenge sex. What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:02God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:06Yeah, I admit it. I've got no game.
00:47:09I guess I just get what you mean. I guess I'm not beautiful when I'm not beautiful.
00:47:14Fucking douchebag.
00:47:17Damn it.
00:47:19I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:22You go, girl.
00:47:24What?
00:47:26What are you doing here?
00:47:28We needed some place private.
00:47:30But hey, listen. If you're serious about getting laid...
00:47:33Yeah?
00:47:34If you want someone great, I mean, really, the best ever...
00:47:39No offense.
00:47:41Frank. The blind guy.
00:47:44Really?
00:47:45I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:48I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:50It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:53It was like we used all our senses.
00:47:56Everything.
00:47:59If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:02Alright.
00:48:05What about him? Jeremy.
00:48:08Yeah, I know Jeremy. I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:12I don't know his last name, though.
00:48:15It's Jones. Jeremy Jones.
00:48:18This all makes sense.
00:48:20Excuse me.
00:48:22Jeremy.
00:48:23Hi.
00:48:24Hey.
00:48:25Who was on the phone?
00:48:26Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:28You'll meet her. She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:32You'll meet her. She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:34Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:49Oh, hi Frank.
00:48:51Sit.
00:48:56Oh, you meant... you meant the dog.
00:49:00Relax.
00:49:02You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:13Oh, I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:49:16Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:18I'm not.
00:49:21How did you know that?
00:49:25Corner.
00:49:28Sit.
00:49:30Roll over.
00:49:34Oh, you mean me.
00:49:37Roll over.
00:49:41Oh, you mean me.
00:49:43Oh, how do you... how do you want me to...
00:49:46Just lie down.
00:49:49Oh.
00:49:59Oh.
00:50:01I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment...
00:50:05Okay.
00:50:09Oh.
00:50:12See me with your hands.
00:50:16All right.
00:50:24You know, I should really...
00:50:26I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:28Really.
00:50:41Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:45Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:57Frank, Frank.
00:50:59Oh.
00:51:02Oh, Frank.
00:51:16Yo, man.
00:51:18Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:20My chips, homeboy.
00:51:21Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:51:22My chips.
00:51:23Dude.
00:51:24My chip.
00:51:25Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:26My chocolate chip.
00:51:27My chips.
00:51:29Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:32Sorry.
00:51:37Hey.
00:51:38Hey.
00:51:39Hey.
00:51:40Hey.
00:51:41Hey.
00:51:42Hey.
00:51:43Hey.
00:51:44Hey.
00:51:49It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:51That's all.
00:51:53Oh.
00:51:57No, let me do this.
00:51:58Go ahead.
00:51:59I got it.
00:52:00No, I got it.
00:52:01No, really, please.
00:52:02I want to help.
00:52:03Okay, everybody out.
00:52:06Leave.
00:52:07I have to vacuum.
00:52:14You're not even getting the chips, they're over here.
00:52:23I just, I see some dust over here, so.
00:52:27It's just, there's so much dust on this floor.
00:52:33It's just a dirty floor.
00:52:35Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:39Floor, it actually.
00:52:57Okay.
00:52:59Alright.
00:53:01I think I got all that.
00:53:04I'll see you.
00:53:14Frankie.
00:53:16Oh my, oh.
00:53:17What was that?
00:53:18What?
00:53:19Ah, fucking shit.
00:53:21Man, we got a smoky, smoky heat.
00:53:25Stop.
00:53:26Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:28Oh, shit.
00:53:30I'm sorry, man.
00:53:31I was looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:33Oh, I heard something.
00:53:34Do you want to join us?
00:53:35Uh, no, I'm actually not in the mood.
00:53:37Come on, you gotta do it, come on.
00:53:39Seriously, guys, I need to go.
00:53:40Where's your dog, man?
00:53:41Dude, what's it like being blinded?
00:53:42It's trippy.
00:53:47Frank?
00:53:49Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:53Bro, you are too funny.
00:53:57Thanks, man.
00:53:58Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:00I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:01Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:04Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:05I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:09Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:11This is some good shit.
00:54:31Oh, no.
00:54:32You're the devil.
00:54:33No more.
00:54:37J.J., I mean, Jeremy,
00:54:39you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:43Please.
00:54:44Lex, I can't.
00:54:47I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:48I really like this girl.
00:54:50Fine.
00:54:51It's just so sad
00:54:53because I'm wearing this
00:54:55cupless bra
00:54:56and I also have on crotchless panties
00:54:59with just a little string of pearl in front
00:55:02for extra stimulation.
00:55:04Oh.
00:55:07Ah.
00:55:09We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:11Perfect.
00:55:16Before she gets here.
00:55:17Perfect.
00:55:28Let's do it.
00:55:29Let's do it.
00:55:30Fuck me.
00:55:31Fuck me now.
00:55:36What?
00:55:37What's wrong?
00:55:38I can't.
00:55:39I can't get it in.
00:55:41Try down there.
00:55:42It's like desert down there.
00:55:44It's sandpaper.
00:55:46Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:48Just try it again.
00:55:51No.
00:55:52Why is this happening?
00:55:54We fooled around before.
00:55:56I was dripping wet.
00:55:57We did that four times, remember?
00:55:59Just do what you did then.
00:56:00Go on.
00:56:01I already did my thing.
00:56:02I already tried.
00:56:04What?
00:56:05What is different this time?
00:56:07I don't know.
00:56:09Last time...
00:56:13I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:15What?
00:56:17You're not JJ?
00:56:19But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:21How can you not be JJ?
00:56:23Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:26Where are you going?
00:56:27We're not done here.
00:56:28I can still do this.
00:56:29I just need a little bit of foreplay.
00:56:31I can do this.
00:56:32I don't need JJ.
00:56:33I don't need anyone else.
00:56:35We can do this.
00:56:37Go team.
00:56:41What?
00:56:42Just keep going.
00:56:48Shit.
00:56:51Jeremy?
00:56:58Where's Jeremy?
00:57:01We were just, you know...
00:57:04Hey, babe.
00:57:05Just working out.
00:57:10How could you, you bastard?
00:57:15You might want to...
00:57:16What?
00:57:19What?
00:57:22Ah!
00:57:23Mariella!
00:57:25Mariella!
00:57:26You know those aren't mine.
00:57:28At least not all of them.
00:57:31What is wrong with you?
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:39You used to be so pure.
00:57:41Well, no more.
00:57:42That's it.
00:57:43Really, that's the last one.
00:58:14Cheryl?
00:58:19What is it?
00:58:20What are you doing down here?
00:58:22Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:26What?
00:58:27Why?
00:58:28Nothing.
00:58:29Just this blind guy and his dog.
00:58:32Honey, it's going to be okay.
00:58:35No, it's not okay.
00:58:38God.
00:58:39And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:40I'm sorry.
00:58:41It's Jake's.
00:58:42Jake's fault.
00:58:43That blind, cheating bastard.
00:58:45Yes.
00:58:46He is such a dickwad.
00:58:48You need to confront him.
00:58:49Yeah.
00:58:50Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:52I mean, it's my birthday, and where is he anyway?
00:58:55Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:58:57You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:00Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:01A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:03A big piece of it.
00:59:04Yeah.
00:59:05You know, you might want to...
00:59:08You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:10Yeah, you're right.
00:59:12Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:14I don't know.
00:59:20I'm sorry.
00:59:21I'm sorry.
00:59:23I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:28I got no game.
00:59:35It's not important.
00:59:41It's not important.
00:59:48Hey, um...
00:59:49Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:51No, no, no, I really need to talk to you.
00:59:53Really, Eric, I can't right now.
00:59:55No, no, no, no.
00:59:56I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I don't want to make it up to you.
01:00:02Eric, really?
01:00:03I don't care.
01:00:04It's fine.
01:00:05No, but I do.
01:00:06I mean, I do.
01:00:07I care.
01:00:09I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:11Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:14But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:00:20Soon.
01:00:21Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while, and it would be nice to go out...
01:00:25Really?
01:00:26Eric, you're shy.
01:00:27You have no game.
01:00:29No, not really.
01:00:32Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:00:34Sorry.
01:00:36Okay.
01:00:37Alright.
01:00:38I, uh...
01:00:41Happy birthday, then.
01:00:53I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss your...
01:01:05Wow.
01:01:17Here I come, baby.
01:01:18Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:23Oh, Eric, stop.
01:01:25Um, we can't do this.
01:01:26Oh, God, Danny, not again.
01:01:28Oh, no, um...
01:01:29Honey, happy...
01:01:32The fuck is this?
01:01:33Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:34Okay, guys, don't...
01:01:39Cheryl?
01:01:40Baby?
01:01:41What is this?
01:01:43Aw, geez, Cheryl.
01:01:44You're...
01:01:46I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...
01:01:49Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:51You couldn't find me?
01:01:52What about all those girls' vaginas you were in, or your penis getting sucked?
01:01:57Cheryl, honey.
01:01:59No, no.
01:02:00You can work this out.
01:02:01Baby, I love you.
01:02:02Jake, no.
01:02:03I love you.
01:02:04Jake, no.
01:02:05You have to go.
01:02:06Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:07I promise.
01:02:08No, Jake, I can't do this.
01:02:09I'm sorry.
01:02:10Cheryl, come on.
01:02:11No.
01:02:12Jake, please, just go.
01:02:13Just go.
01:02:14I'm sorry.
01:02:15You're a heartless bitch!
01:02:16How could you do...
01:02:18Yay!
01:02:19You did it.
01:02:20I'm so proud of you.
01:02:21You got your revenge sex.
01:02:22You've left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:24Revenge sex?
01:02:27It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:30Right.
01:02:32It all makes sense now.
01:02:35Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:38Eric, I'm really sorry.
01:02:41Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:44And you used me.
01:02:46Eric, please don't go.
01:02:47Please, Eric!
01:02:50Aren't you happy?
01:02:52Well, no, that's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:02:56You mean the sex?
01:02:57Was it...
01:02:58No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:00Oh.
01:03:01You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:02Really?
01:03:03I just never found the right guy.
01:03:05Or guys.
01:03:07Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:09People are starting to leave.
01:03:10I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:23I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:24This is bullshit!
01:03:25Bullshit!
01:03:26God, this is...
01:03:27Oh!
01:03:28Oh!
01:03:29Suck it!
01:03:32Get out of here!
01:03:34Yeah!
01:03:35He has good hair, though.
01:03:40Don't you puke on me.
01:03:42And don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:56Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:03:59Was it from sex?
01:04:00Did you pop your cork?
01:04:01I don't think so.
01:04:03Not with a guy, anyway.
01:04:05Oh, don't ask.
01:04:06Every possible object.
01:04:08It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:10It was like...
01:04:11Transformers.
01:04:12They just all became vibrators.
01:04:15I told you.
01:04:16It's addicting.
01:04:19So, what about Chris?
01:04:20Well, last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:04:22I told you he was gay.
01:04:23No.
01:04:24Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:26Oh, cramp.
01:04:29I think it's broken.
01:04:31So, wait.
01:04:33None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:39Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:42So, I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:43Can I go?
01:04:44No, thank you.
01:04:46I think I should finish up here.
01:04:48Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:50No.
01:04:51No?
01:04:52No.
01:04:54I don't know.
01:04:55For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:04:58Or something.
01:05:00Why? Do you know him?
01:05:02Sort of.
01:05:03Oh.
01:05:04Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:05just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:14Love him?
01:05:15Shut it.
01:05:16You wanna do it with him?
01:05:17I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:18You wanna get married?
01:05:19You wanna do it?
01:05:20No.
01:05:45Um, no.
01:05:46No way.
01:05:51Ugh.
01:06:01Oh, well.
01:06:02There's always next year.
01:06:21It's you.
01:06:23I've been waiting for you.
01:06:25JJ.
01:06:29Joanna.
01:06:51JJ.
01:06:52JJ.
01:06:53JJ.
01:06:54JJ.
01:06:55JJ.
01:06:56JJ.
01:06:57JJ.
01:06:58JJ.
01:06:59JJ.
01:07:00JJ.
01:07:01JJ.
01:07:02JJ.
01:07:03JJ.
01:07:04JJ.
01:07:05JJ.
01:07:06JJ.
01:07:07JJ.
01:07:08JJ.
01:07:09JJ.
01:07:10JJ.
01:07:11JJ.
01:07:12JJ.
01:07:13JJ.
01:07:14JJ.
01:07:15JJ.
01:07:16JJ.
01:07:17JJ.
01:07:18You'd never take it away.
01:07:24Give me your wolf-arm number.
01:07:29And when the heat is done.
01:07:33Wow.
01:07:35That's amazing.
01:07:37Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:40I guess something inspired me.
01:07:44You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:47Yeah, even that little cowlick he has in his hair.
01:07:52Who's?
01:07:53Eric's.
01:07:54It's him, right?
01:07:58Oh.
01:08:00Yeah.
01:08:02I have to go see him.
01:08:07Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:171-900-confess.
01:08:23Sister Therese.
01:08:24Yeah, hun.
01:08:26There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:28I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:30Oh, sure.
01:08:32It's 2-7-1.
01:08:35Sister.
01:08:35I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:40Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:44Take you back?
01:08:45Sure, hun.
01:08:46Why not?
01:08:48As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:51Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:53I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:08:57Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:01Sister.
01:09:02Can I get up now?
01:09:04I really gotta pee.
01:09:06No!
01:09:06Hustler trap!
01:09:09Okay, honey.
01:09:10I really need to get back to work, but call back anytime.
01:09:13I will.
01:09:15Thanks.
01:09:17Sister?
01:09:18Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you cheap fucker!
01:09:37Eric, wait.
01:09:40Cheryl?
01:09:43Eric, um...
01:09:44Eric, um...
01:09:46Look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:50I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:09:52At the beginning, but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:09:56I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:09:58The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:01Um...
01:10:02I...
01:10:04I do want to go out with you.
01:10:07And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:10I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these...
01:10:13Eric!
01:10:14Okay.
01:10:16Come on, we gotta get going.
01:10:18Oh.
01:10:19Wow.
01:10:19Um, Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:22Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:25Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:30So, um...
01:10:32Do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:10:34When I get back?
01:10:36Yeah, sure.
01:10:42Oh.
01:10:44Sorry, no kissing, right?
01:10:45No, kissing.
01:10:46Oh.
01:11:03Hey, did you ever get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:08I don't even care that you hooked up with Lexi.
01:11:10Wait, what? I never did that.
01:11:14I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:15She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:22She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:25I wonder who it was.
01:11:45At least this birthday's over.
01:11:58Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:01I mean, if you could just...
01:12:03I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:14Oh.
01:12:35Excuse me, excuse me.
01:12:38Do you know where the church is?
01:12:39It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:41Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:44Or, used to go to.
01:12:45Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:51You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:53Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:03Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:06Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:10Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:15I don't think so, but thanks.
01:13:17What's your name?
01:13:18Sue.
01:13:19What's yours?
01:13:20Jesus.
01:13:23Really?
01:13:24Si.
01:13:27Maybe I could use a ride.
01:13:44Ah!