From aunties in the park to office colleagues, why do women often face judgment for what they choose to wear?
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00:00I remember I was checked for what I was wearing was when I was 8.
00:16They would always be like these small statements you know like you need to wear a longer top
00:21with those leggings, you need to wear a dupatta with that kurta.
00:25It's the age old we're saying this for your own good.
00:29I trust you but I don't trust the men on the street.
00:59I will complain that you wear short skirts in college and try to excite the boys.
01:03Excuse me, I said no short skirts in the college, please.
01:07There was a lady who had come to our house discussing all about religion and what's good,
01:12what's not good.
01:13She pointed out to my skirt, she said skirts like this take you to her lady diner.
01:20When I was living in Mumbai, I think a couple of years ago, I had given this one top to
01:24a tailor near my house because it was really loose and it needed to be taken in from the
01:30side.
01:31When I got back home and I tried it on, I noticed that he'd also, he'd also pulled
01:35up the shoulders a little bit and sort of raised the neckline and it wasn't even that
01:41deep to begin with.
01:42And then there was this dress that I wanted him to make.
01:44It was a very pretty thin collar V-neck and he seemed very hesitant and I was like what
01:51happened?
01:52So he's like, yeh zyada deep ho jayega.
01:55And then I ended up convincing him that I would wear an inner with the dress.
02:01I was stepping out for a friend's birthday party and I really wanted to wear this cute
02:05purple strap top with jeans and I remember being told by my family at that time that,
02:11you know, straps are just not okay and I would either have to change out of it or cover it
02:16up with a jacket or a shrug.
02:19It was a classic work setting.
02:20This is a company I used to work for many, many years ago and I was called into the conference
02:26room by my head HR asking me to not wear what I was wearing on that day.
02:34She very bluntly told me that what you're wearing is not acceptable in this office because
02:42we've seen men look at you in this particular outfit.
02:46What I was wearing was a play suit which was a little over my knees and over that I
02:53was wearing a green, like an oversized jacket on top.
02:56When I was working at a prominent research institute in Delhi, we had gone for an outing
03:03and it was in April and it was really, the sun was on overhead and I decided to put a
03:09dupatta over my head.
03:10And one of my lab mates, she comes running to me and she says, take that off.
03:15And I was like, why?
03:17What's wrong with this?
03:18She's like, no, your RPI doesn't like it.
03:20She doesn't like women being enslaved.
03:22And I was like, what's enslavement in a dupatta over my head?
03:26She's like, no.
03:28She wants modern and liberal women.
03:35It is true that even though some of us believe that women shouldn't be questioned about what
03:39they were wearing when something terrible happened to them, women are.
03:42I think what happened is on some level, I internalized that, okay, my body is the problem.
03:48That it is this deeply offensive, disgusting thing that needs to be covered up at all times.
03:56And I could be seen, but I had to be seen only under very specific conditions and in
04:02very specific ways.
04:04Is it just that I'm feeling comfortable in what I'm wearing or is it just comforting
04:08that nobody seems to have a problem with it?
04:10If you ask these men why they were looking at me, do you think that is acceptable?
04:14We should have a choice to wear our clothes.
04:17After all, the clothes we wear are an extension of our personality.
04:21These loose, comfy shorts that I have are always questioned whenever I go to any relative's
04:25house.
04:26You know, whereas the men of the house are very often wearing, like just shirtless or
04:31wearing boxers.
04:32And yeah, I wonder what that unquestioned freedom must feel like.