Curta e compartilhe!
Categoria
📚
AprendizadoTranscrição
00:00O que é o que é?
00:10Ok, nós temos uma nova receita na tela.
00:13E nós estamos falando sobre a desculpa.
00:15E você diz que isso é importante para entender
00:17que se você não fordê-se, eles estão ainda vão controlar você.
00:21Você nunca vai ter melhor.
00:23E então você tem que dar mais razões.
00:25Você tem que dizer, olha, eu quero você entender que eles são apenas um funcionamento de programação.
00:28Lembre-se o três circunstâncias que nós fazemos.
00:31Nós sabemos como todos nós todos os programados.
00:33Eles não queriam ser o mesmo jeito que eles foram.
00:35Eles não conseguem não saber mais razões.
00:39E aí você tem que dar mais razões.
00:41Em outras palavras, você tem que dar um advogado para fazer um caso.
00:44Você tem que dizer, olha,
00:47quando eu ask você para me forgive,
00:50isso não significa que eu estou dizendo que eu estou dizendo que você está dizendo que ela está dizendo que ela está dizendo.
00:54Eles estão dizendo que ela está dizendo que ela está dizendo que ela está dizendo que ela está dizendo que ela está dizendo.
00:56Você não tem que ser seu amigo.
00:58E eu não vou perguntar você para você que ela está dizendo que ela está dizendo que ela está dizendo que ela está dizendo.
01:26interest but generally if you do with this and you'll see it more more vividly
01:30on the tape you're going to say they will say yes I'll be willing to forgive
01:34them and of course Apple when you ask the question now with knowing what you
01:39know will you be willing are you able to forgive would you be willing to forgive
01:44this particular individual of course at that point you crush your arms your
01:48legs your eyes everything because the whole session depends on what their
01:52answer is if they say no I emerge them I send them home I say when you're ready
01:59to to do what's necessary to be done come on back we'll get it done and if they
02:05say yes I say whoopee silently to myself and we begin the forgiveness portion of
02:11the therapy now let's watch this in in the real world yeah Mary in my experience
02:22ninety-five percent will say yes if you build your case the way you're gonna
02:26see it no way I've explained it very rarely have I have anybody say back in
02:32Fort Lauderdale because I had a large elderly clientele I work with and a lot
02:37of more Jewish and they thought I was Jewish because of my last name which I'm
02:41not Jewish but they thought I was so they trusted me and occasionally I'd have to
02:47ask one of them to get to the point to forgive Adolf Hitler and try to do that
02:52with somebody who still has the numbers burned into their arm from the
02:55concentration camp well many of these people couldn't just wouldn't and refused
03:02to and I understand that Adolf Hitler what he did we all know what he did and it
03:08was a horrible just completely unconscionable vicious unbelievable thing
03:17that he did but maybe he was there to test us you know or whatever the reason
03:24but they wouldn't forgive him and that of course is a choice we all have choices
03:30and so those people instead of becoming happier they became angrier more spiteful
03:35people than they were as time went on because anger hate and resentment was
03:40more important than emotional freedom so there are situations that come up where
03:45people will not forgive and you can only do what you can do we can't help a
03:50hundred percent of the people we can we can work with a hundred percent of the
03:54people if they do what we ask them to do but a hundred percent of the people are
03:57not going to do what we ask them to do and then we've just got to consider
04:01we've done the best we can and that's it sometimes it's very hard for a woman to
04:06forgive a rapist very difficult how do you do that you know so let's watch this
04:12thing here here's here's the setup this young man I got a call from one of my
04:19ex-students a nurse one day telling me she's in love but I also know she's
04:25working at the mental hospital up the street and I said who you love with she
04:29said one of the inmates and his only he wasn't the only problem was he was an
04:34alcoholic now George became an alcoholic all alcoholism causes from the same
04:42thing low self-worth low self-esteem when they're on the booze they feel just as
04:47good as the football star or the cheerleader or whatever it may be he was
04:53born into a family of alcoholics his father abandoned him before he was born
04:59his mother was a drunk and after he was about a year I think about two years old
05:05or something like that she couldn't handle him she took him down and deposited him
05:10in an orphanage and said you know stop by when I can to see you well do you know
05:17what that type of thing when a mother dumps you off in an orphanage can do for
05:21you well then as he was the smallest kid in the orphanage so everybody beat him up
05:25called him names then came the holidays the Christmas holidays and you would
05:34think this would be a time of festive joy well what happened with this poor
05:38little fella is the local Baptist minister came down which a lot of times they do
05:44and they take children home to their house for the holidays and so this man did
05:49and proceeded to sodomize him for ten days in his house one thing you'll always
05:56remember watch out for people who are overly anything and more they profess their
06:00honesty the faster you better count your silverware you say in any event that that
06:10was horrible to do to a little boy you see just absolutely horrible and so George
06:17didn't have a fair start when he got into school he didn't think he was as good as everybody else
06:22so he was an underachiever when he hit 15 he went to help a bunch of older boys get some beer and
06:30they loaded a beer keg that they got in the back of a hay wagon and drove it to a school shindig and
06:35they were waiting for the beer to bring the beer in and they're drinking the beer it was the first time
06:39he ever drank the first time he ever got drunk and I said how do you like the taste of that George he
06:43goes oh it's terrible I says why are you drinking it he says because when I'm drinking this I know I
06:48feel just as good as the best son of a bitch in town and he had that full self-confidence that all
06:56alcoholics have when they drink and so George became a really heavy-duty alcoholic but he never had any money
07:05so he would be became a burglar now he's a really nice guy but he's a lousy burglar I mean he was the worst of the worst
07:14he couldn't burgle worth a damn anyway he was always getting caught and they finally started locking him up
07:21now when they locked him up George is very intelligent his IQ is very high so he decided he was going to study
07:29not waste his time and in in in jail he studied anybody want to guess no no psychology exactly
07:38correct Ben because he knew that before he was going to be let out he would have to pass this
07:45psychological interview to see if he was okay well you know basically who this the prison psychologist
07:52is the young psychologist out of school they got the tweed jacket with the leather elbow things and
08:00they like to probably grow a little Freudian kind of a beard type of thing and they walk in and little
08:05George is so cute he'd sit there and bat his eyes and say exactly the words that he read in the books that
08:12these people wanted to hear and they go oh he's all better we'll let him out and George got out and the
08:20next thing you know he was in the bar drinking up whatever money he accumulated in the prison
08:24and of course when he was out of money what did he do then same thing you did to get him that lousy
08:30burglar I mean he should have studied from some burglar in there instead of this psychology stuff
08:35and got to be a better but he was anyway they finally decided that uh enough is enough and they're
08:41going to send him to a mental hospital and they sent him to this mental hospital where my student fell in
08:47love and when you see this guy you know why you fall in love because he's just the cutest thing in town
08:51you see and she asked me if I would work with him but he doesn't have a dime and I said sure
08:57providing he lets me video it and signs a release and all that stuff that we could use it for training
09:02and he said fine he didn't care and the day they brought him over it was interesting our classroom we
09:09we used our classroom in Fort Lauderdale and in the back wall of the classroom was the wall that
09:14separated the classroom from the administrative office and we'd cut a one-by-one hole in the wall
09:22where we put the camera through and a video operator was on the other side and of course when we're done
09:27we just hang a picture over it so it was comical though I'm up there working with this fella I'm
09:32looking back at the camera on each side of the camera these humongous two guys dressed in white
09:38you see they brought him over from the mental hospital he wasn't released he was just out for
09:43some therapy you say and it was kind of nerve-wracking staring at these guys so it kind of threw me off my
09:49gate a little bit in that when I started working with George and this is the chair therapy portion
09:54of it and deathbed therapy portion of it I had forgot to go into my therapy office and bring
10:01my pillow but as they say the show must go on and we couldn't break it was just impossible to break
10:10at that point to get the pillow the way therapy was going so I had to have him hit my hand and as he
10:15gets really violent you'll see him break my hand and of course then my arm was in a cast for six weeks
10:21after this session so you'll see that happen if you watch carefully the language here is is you gotta
10:31remember George was hurt by so many people he has this protective shield of protection around didn't
10:39I mean he'll go into hypnosis beautifully but he was not going to let you work with that emotional level
10:44mind and the way that you break through that and it'll be a very interesting case I doubt if you'll ever see
10:50when this difficult is I have to get a little bit physical with George he gets a little physical
10:56with me but eventually we shatter this shield of protection and I told him the shield would be
11:02lowered but you would have the control to put it up in other words like I got the idea from Star Trek
11:07lower the shield Scotty you know this type of thing and so when I told him he could put it back up and
11:12gave him the control he said that's what finally let it happen is he would lower it but only if he could
11:18have the control to put it back so I stumble over that one so let's uh let's watch George watch the chair
11:26therapy develop you might want to hit that overhead up there Bob for reflection thing and I think you'll
11:35there have you enjoyed it where are you George
11:48I want you to imagine something now you know the difference between imagining and visualizing you
12:03you can't make a picture in your mind but you can imagine something if I told you to imagine your car or
12:10your your girlfriend's car you can imagine what it is couldn't you Ford it's blue I mean no big deal with that is a nice
12:18looking fella isn't all right I want you now to imagine that what I tell you is real I
12:22I want you to imagine yourself in a room any kind of a room you'd like to be in big room little room
12:32doesn't matter and I want you to imagine yourself sitting in a straight back chair now I want you to
12:38watch as I work with him what I'm doing with my hands notice how I'm touching them I'm tapping them
12:44I'm putting the ends of sentences like exclamation marks as I tap them on the arm or tap them on the leg
12:50that's very effective when you're when you're talking to people yet by the way that's the only
12:57furniture in this room other than the same kind of chair in front of you facing you four or five or
13:03six feet in front can you imagine that now I want you to imagine someone sitting in that chair now I'm not
13:16going to tell you who that person is because you're going to tell me but I'm going to tell you what that
13:21person is I want you to imagine instead sitting in that chair opposite you is the one person in your
13:29entire life the one person who has hurt you more than any other individual in your life now we know a lot
13:38of people have hurt you in your life haven't they but this is the one person sitting in that chair
13:44opposite you that has hurt you more deeply more sorely than anyone else in your life who's in that
13:53chair George now it's going to take him a while to come up with the answer but you notice like when
14:00I'm pointing when I'm talking even though his eyes are closed he can sense that and it's creating energy
14:06you see who do you think it is based on what I told you who's hurt you more than any other person in
14:19your life mom you're learning yeah you hit the nail right on the head I want you to imagine your mother
14:36in that chair she alive or dead I want you to imagine us in that chair sitting across from you can you do
14:43that now I want you to do this in your mind I want you to look at her and I want you to say this mother I
14:54want to tell you how I feel say that to her now now I want you to tell her how you feel
15:13tell her now because he is so reluctant to be emotional I'm gonna have to lead him a little bit I'm
15:22gonna have to drag him through this to get him going where normally you wouldn't but sometimes you
15:27got to do what you got to do
15:30mother I feel angry does that sound like he feels angry no I feel lonely tell her how she hurt you
15:42mother you hurt me by not being there
15:53when I needed you you hurt me by
15:58it's too clinical always being drunk
16:01you hurt me by
16:06not loving me
16:09not showing you care see now the way he's talking now if you get people like this
16:17he's talking like he would be talking to the psychologist
16:20and we will not allow that to continue
16:24tell her how you feel about her
16:28tell her how you feel about her
16:38I feel angry toward you
16:46say you bitch
16:47you bitch
16:50again
16:50you bitch
16:51from here
16:52you bitch
16:53again
16:53you bitch
16:54feel it
16:55tell her
16:56got to break through somehow
16:59tell her damn it
17:01now's the time louder
17:04louder
17:05tell her
17:08put your heart into it
17:13you bitch
17:14if your mother dumped you in a nursing home
17:17I mean in an orphanage
17:19just ignored you
17:21and what she did before she even dumped him was terrible
17:23sometimes she didn't come home for a day and a half
17:26he's in dirty diapers
17:27I mean a terrible situation
17:29and this is all you're getting
17:30come on
17:31you know
17:32bitch
17:34again
17:35bitch
17:35come on George
17:36Jesus Christ
17:37after all she's done to you
17:38look at her in that chair
17:40tell her what she is
17:41now
17:41you're a bitch
17:42again
17:43you're a bitch
17:43make a face
17:44say you bitch
17:46say it
17:48you bitch
17:48again
17:49you bitch
17:50come on
17:51you bitch
17:51you've been holding this in all your life
17:53god damn it
17:54let it out
17:54you bitch
17:55tell her
17:56come on
17:57bitch
17:57again
17:58bitch
17:58again
17:59bitch
17:59again
18:00again
18:01you see him starting to get into it now
18:03again
18:03damn it
18:03again
18:03come on
18:04bitch
18:05come on
18:06bitch
18:06not much yet though
18:08little bit
18:08move it all
18:11bitch
18:11made it all bad
18:13bitch
18:14tell her
18:15god damn it
18:15tell her
18:16bitch
18:17kill her
18:17bitch
18:18kill her god damn it
18:19almost there
18:20there he is
18:22did you see the difference
18:23now as he's starting to get into it
18:24damn it
18:25bitch
18:25bitch
18:26bitch
18:27that's it
18:28kill her
18:29damn it
18:29get her
18:30bitch
18:30bitch
18:31hate you
18:33I hate your guts
18:34tell her
18:34tell her
18:36I hate you
18:37bitch
18:38watch the hand
18:38guy
18:39hate you
18:40there it goes
18:41that's it
18:43that's it
18:43now
18:44now
18:45now
18:45hey
18:45hey
18:46hey
18:49hey
18:50hey
18:52yeah
18:54yeah
18:56it's frobbing
18:57get her
18:58get her
18:59get her
19:01stop
19:05say to her
19:06see her in that chair
19:09Why didn't you show me love, that's all I wanted, ask her that
19:13I want to keep him going now
19:15Why did you hurt me so damn bad, ask her that
19:17Why did you hurt me so damn bad
19:19All I wanted was your love, tell her that
19:21All I wanted was your love
19:23That's all I wanted
19:26I see his hands moving, now you know he's into it
19:29I just wanted you to care
19:32You weren't there
19:36Be the mother
19:37Just heard you boy, you just heard what he said
19:41Answer him
19:43Why didn't you show him love, tell him that
19:46What's your first name
19:51Selma
19:52Talk to your son Selma
19:54I couldn't help it, I had problems
20:01Just throbbing
20:02I wanted to give you those things, I wanted to show you that I care
20:10I wanted to show you love
20:11I had problems
20:14Problems with alcohol
20:17Problems with your father
20:19Problems with the family
20:21I just couldn't be there
20:24Be George, answer your mother
20:29Come on
20:36You could have been there
20:37You could have been there in spite of the problems
20:40Tell her what happened to you because she wasn't there
20:43Tell her how it affected you
20:44I didn't have anybody
20:46I didn't have anybody that cared
20:49And then I had problems
20:52I had a lot of problems
20:54Tell her because of the pain and hurt she gave you
20:58You couldn't afford to feel feelings anymore
21:00Because of the pain and hurt
21:06From you I couldn't feel feelings
21:12And I shut down my feelings
21:13And I completely shut down
21:15And I became an empty shell
21:18True or false
21:19True
21:20See I'm leading him
21:21But I'm leading him to keep him going
21:23If I let him slow down
21:24Let him start to get analytical again
21:26He's going to clam right up
21:27So somebody like this
21:29Just got to keep pushing and pushing
21:30An empty shell
21:32I wasn't able to receive
21:35I wasn't able to give either, was I?
21:38I wasn't able to give
21:40She destroyed your life, didn't she?
21:44Tell her that
21:45You destroyed everything that I could be
21:48You destroyed my life
21:50Be the mother
21:51Respond to that, Selma
21:52Quickly they changed
21:54No, I didn't mean to destroy your life
21:59I tried to give you a life
22:01I tried to
22:02The best I knew how to provide for you
22:05I'm really sorry that
22:09It's not the way it is
22:14Now Selma, I want to talk to you for a moment
22:16Do you understand that because you were a drunk
22:20You were a drunk, weren't you?
22:22And you still are
22:23Yes
22:24That
22:25A young child does not grow by
22:29Shouting
22:31By
22:32Drunken debauchery
22:35A young child needs to be held
22:38Needs to be loved
22:39Needs to be told he has worth and value
22:42You know that, don't you Selma?
22:44Yes
22:45You also know that you didn't give that to your boy
22:48Isn't that right?
22:50That's right
22:50How does that make you feel?
22:56That makes me feel very bad
22:57Do you love your son?
22:59Yes, I do
22:59Well then it's time you give him some understanding
23:03Let's try this, Selma
23:04Now this is an interesting technique that he can use
23:07That we're going to do with Selma now
23:10In which
23:11She's going to
23:13George
23:14George is really doing this out of his mind
23:17He's going to think of a reason why his mother was this way
23:20To give an excuse to her
23:22That he could maybe latch on to it
23:24And that helps him get to the forgiveness
23:27So this is a very good thing to do
23:29Maybe you can give him some insight
23:31Maybe there was something about the way your parents raised you
23:35That caused you to become a drunk
23:37That caused you not to be able to get love
23:41If you can't get love, you sure as hell don't know how to give it
23:43Isn't that right?
23:44Yes
23:45Is there anything about the way your parents raised you
23:48That maybe you could tell your son
23:50That caused you to be that way
23:51Maybe you can give him some insight
23:52If that's true, talk to your boy now
23:54See if he can explain that to him
23:56George, my parents never gave me love either
24:02Were your parents drunks?
24:07No
24:07But they never showed love
24:12They were cold fish?
24:14Yes, they were
24:14So tell George how that affected you
24:17That affected me too
24:21I felt unloved and not worth anything
24:27And it became very hard for me to
24:32To relate to other people
24:35It became very hard for me to
24:38Care about anyone or love anyone either
24:42Because I didn't love myself
24:44Be George and answer and respond to what your mother just said
24:53See, now you can back up and start being more maternal
24:56She just told you that she didn't learn how to give love
25:02So she didn't know how to give love
25:03And that's why you didn't get any
25:05So go ahead and respond to her on that
25:06I understand that
25:19I still feel cheated
25:23I still feel
25:28Things could have been different
25:32I'm the mother
25:36I'm Selma
25:37Now listen, George
25:38Just because I was a mess
25:41Didn't mean you had to be a mess
25:43Listen to this
25:43They took you away from me
25:44So you could have an opportunity to grow
25:46Why didn't you do it?
25:49It's too late
25:50What do you mean too late?
25:52You were just a young boy
25:53You were put in a home with other people
25:55With good guidance
25:56You had a chance
25:57Why didn't you use that chance?
25:59Did I hurt you that bad?
26:03I was already worthless
26:04I was already worthless
26:07Now ladies and gentlemen
26:09You have just discovered the cause of alcoholism
26:14What did we say?
26:16I was already worthless
26:17In other words, here he pounded into him that he wasn't worth anything
26:20Well, by being dumped and thrown away by your mother
26:23Like the garbage being taken out
26:25Oh, but before he was dumped by the mother
26:27She was probably just, you know, smacking him around and ignoring him
26:30I'm already worthless
26:31And that was at age two
26:33How does a kid stand a chance?
26:36He doesn't
26:36You see how quickly this comes in?
26:40Why did you take the mother role there?
26:43Well, I just thought it was a good idea
26:45To give George an excuse
26:47To help understand why his mother did within himself
26:51If you say
26:52So I'm already worthless
26:55You didn't know
26:57Yes, you did
26:57How does that make you feel about me?
27:04Makes me feel angry
27:05I'm not the mother anymore
27:10Be the mother
27:11Be Selma
27:12Now, Selma, listen to me
27:13Is it Thelma or Selma?
27:16Thelma
27:16Thelma
27:17Listen to me
27:19You know you've hurt your son terribly
27:21You know that because of your inaction
27:24Your inability to share feelings with him
27:27He grew into an empty shell of a being
27:31So much of an empty shell
27:34He's like a zombie
27:36He doesn't allow himself to feel love or emotions
27:39Of any kind
27:41Certainly not able to express him
27:42You did that to him, Selma, didn't you?
27:46Yes, I allowed it
27:48Would you like to help your son now?
27:52If you could
27:53I'd be willing to do that
27:55Yes
27:56All right
27:56Here's what I'm going to ask you to do, Thelma
28:00Certain things will release George from his pain
28:05He's going to have to do them
28:08And it's going to be very hard
28:09But I want you to ask him to do one thing
28:12That will begin to put him on the road for change
28:15Now, you've hurt him
28:18You've caused him terrible pain
28:20I want you to ask him to forgive you
28:23And to set you free
28:25And I'm going to tell you
28:27You need that forgiveness as much as he needs to give it
28:29Do you understand that, Thelma?
28:30Yes
28:31Would you be willing to ask your son to do that?
28:33Yes
28:33Okay
28:34Everything you've done
28:36Now, this is the second or third session with George
28:39Alcoholism takes about four or five sessions
28:42Everything I've done up to this point
28:45The first session was regression work
28:47Looking for cause
28:48All these kind of things
28:49Comes down to this moment in time
28:53For him, not for me
28:55But if he forgives
28:58Forget it
28:59We're way on the road to recovery
29:02Because if we ask him to forgive somebody else after this
29:05Then it becomes easy to do
29:07Remember in the story of the Jane
29:09The good feeling you get after you forgive somebody?
29:17Tell him you're sorry, Hand
29:19I'm very sorry for all that has happened to you
29:25And I need for you to forgive me
29:28And I need for you to set me free
29:31Of all that has happened
29:33And I'm very sorry for it
29:37And I have to ask that you forgive me for it
29:40That I can be free
29:42Okay
29:43Be George
29:45Now, George
29:46I don't want you using this analytical mind of yours right now
29:49That powerful mind
29:50Because now I want to tell you something
29:52Now comes
29:54The point
29:55Where you're going to begin to have change
29:57Or you're going to reject that change
29:59Do you understand?
30:01Do something
30:02Now
30:03Your mother asked you to forgive her
30:06First let me explain to you something about forgiveness
30:09Give them the reason now
30:10Forgiveness is the eraser of guilt and fear
30:13You've got both of those in abundance
30:15And you know that's true
30:16It means if you forgive your mother
30:21You're going to be able to get rid of a ton of that guilt and fear
30:24And start to feel tremendously better
30:26But I want to explain something about forgiveness
30:29It is not a word
30:30And if all you do is use it as a word
30:36As you've been doing over the last X number of years
30:38Protecting yourself from emotion
30:40There will be no change
30:41Forgiveness is emotion from the soul
30:44Do you understand that?
30:46Yes I do
30:47Now
30:50You can choose to forgive your mother
30:52Or not to forgive her for the pain
30:54And I know it's tough to forgive somebody
30:56Who's hurt you so bad isn't it?
30:58Yes
30:58But let me explain something about that
31:01If you choose not to forgive her
31:05It doesn't hurt her
31:08She continues to go about her life
31:10The only person that continues to hurt and cause pain and destruction is you
31:15Do you understand that?
31:17Yes
31:17The other thing about forgiveness
31:19It does not mean I'm asking you to like a person
31:22And more importantly
31:24It does not mean that I'm asking you to condone their behavior that they did to you
31:30But only to understand that they're a function of all their programming that their subconscious mind got programmed with
31:38And because of their experiences they literally didn't know how to operate any other way
31:43It makes sense, doesn't it?
31:44Yes it does
31:45You wanted to love your mother when you were just a boy, didn't you?
31:50Yes I did
31:50And you needed her desperately as you grew, didn't you?
31:54I did
31:54And you'd love to love her now
31:56Even after all the things she's done to you, wouldn't you?
31:58Yes
31:59Isn't that interesting?
32:00Because she's still your mom
32:01You see, and that's the truth
32:05Oh, we see it all the time with children who are beaten up and burned or whatever by their parents
32:10They still love their mother
32:11We'll tell you how George related to his mother after this tape, after we finish up with it
32:16But parents can do so many nasty things and we still want them
32:20It's just a psychic connection
32:23Would you be willing to give her that quality of forgiveness?
32:30This is it
32:30That's not right
32:31Everything depends on that
32:32You're going to do it this way
32:33He said yes
32:34As I count from ten down to one
32:36You're going to lower the defensive shield around your emotions
32:39Just long enough to give forgiveness
32:41Would you be willing to do that?
32:43Yes
32:43So that when you forgive your mother
32:45It's going to come out of you
32:46With a sincerity
32:48With an emotion
32:50That you've not allowed yourself to feel for quite a while
32:53Is that alright with you as we do that?
32:54Yes
32:55At the count of one
32:57Those shields are going to be down
32:59That you've held over yourself so beautifully for such a long time
33:01You can put them back up if you want to after the forgiveness is complete
33:04Put them back up if you want to
33:06Ten
33:06Nine
33:07Eight
33:07Let the shields drop and allow yourself to start to feel
33:10Seven
33:11Six
33:13Five
33:14You let those emotions come out a little bit when you were telling her how destructive she was to you
33:19Four
33:20Three
33:21The shields come down now
33:23You don't need that protection now
33:25Two
33:25One
33:26Alright
33:27Now
33:28It's been a long time
33:32Since you've talked to your mother and the way you're going to talk to her
33:36From the very part of your soul
33:38That you haven't allowed to come out a long time
33:41In whatever words you need to express the honesty
33:46The truth of the emotion of forgiveness
33:49I want you to look at your mother now
33:51And I want you to transmit that forgiveness to her in a way you've never done before
33:56In whatever words you need to say
33:58And attach whatever feeling that needs to go into those words to make it real
34:03Do you understand?
34:05Yes
34:05Do it now
34:08Mom, I'm really sorry that everything happened this way
34:17I can feel it
34:19And
34:19His hands are involved
34:22I just want you to know that I really, really forgive you
34:26I really understand
34:29And I really want you to be free
34:32I just want to have peace
34:36And I want you to have peace
34:37And I just want you to accept my forgiveness
34:43I really do forgive you for all that's happened
34:47And I really understand
34:49And I really, really and truly forgive you
34:55Do you need your love?
34:59And I'd just like to have your love in return
35:01I'd just like to be a part of your life
35:05I'd like for you to be a part of mine
35:07And I really, honestly, do love you
35:12Yeah, tell her how much you love her
35:13Even after all the pain
35:14I love you very much
35:16And I just want you to be a part of my life
35:19And I just want it to all be over with
35:23All the hurt and all the pain
35:25I really, Mom, I really do forgive you
35:29I really forgive you, Mom
35:32Little tears in his voice
35:33Good
35:39Be the mother now
35:40Elma
35:40You just heard your boy tell me how that makes you feel
35:43It makes me feel really good
35:45Waiting for a long time
35:49He ever do anything that hurt you
35:53Caused you to feel pain
35:55He must have done something
35:58Those were tough days for both of you, wasn't it?
36:03Yeah, I guess they were
36:03All right, here
36:04Let's create some balance here
36:06Be George
36:11Now, George, when you were just a little boy
36:13You did things that made Mother angry
36:15You probably weren't even aware
36:16You could learn something else here in a minute
36:18Very intriguing
36:18We made some of the things you did even tougher
36:20Ask her to forgive you the way you forgave her
36:23Mom, I want you to
36:29I want you to forgive me for
36:31The things that I did
36:34For upsetting you
36:36For causing you harm or fear
36:40Or anything
36:41Now, what could a little boy do?
36:43That's right
36:43Help me
36:44Well, you're going to find out
36:45When the mother responds
36:47Watch
36:48Because this is what George is thinking in his mind
36:50Watch
36:52You'll be amazed
36:52I want you to forgive me for those things
36:56Be the mother
36:59Okay
37:01What do you think?
37:04Think he can do that for your boy?
37:07I certainly can
37:08All right
37:08Now, he forgave you
37:10A great and powerful feeling and honesty
37:12Which has been very difficult for him
37:14Do the same for him
37:17Forgive him for the little things
37:18The little boy didn't know he was doing
37:20That may have hurt you
37:21Set him free
37:22See, I'm holding his arm now
37:28For all those things
37:30Love him for all those things
37:30Any time
37:31Love him for the little boy
37:33Anytime that you hurt me
37:33Anytime that you upset me
37:35Any financial problems you gave me
37:39Do you hear that?
37:40Financial problems?
37:41Any financial
37:42See, George thought he was dumped
37:44Because of financial problems
37:46And that he caused the financial problems
37:48See?
37:49You say, what can a little boy think?
37:51Little boys can think
37:51Believe me
37:53And little girls can think too
37:54She probably said to him
37:56If I didn't have you
37:57I could be
37:57We could
37:58I could be eating
37:59Or something like that
38:00Sure
38:00God knows what was said
38:01Well, I do know what was said
38:03From an earlier session
38:04It was terrible
38:05You know
38:06I can't afford you
38:08I can't afford to keep you
38:10So now we're going to get
38:12The forgiveness for this
38:13Those times
38:15For all of those things
38:16And I love you
38:19And I love you very much
38:22Yeah
38:23Thelma, I want you in your mind
38:26To get up from your chair
38:27And walk over toward your son
38:28George, in your mind
38:30Get up from your chair
38:31Meet your mother in the middle
38:33Now
38:34Put your arms around, mother
38:39Hold her
38:40And now, George
38:44For the first time
38:46Maybe in your entire life
38:47I want you to bathe your mother
38:50In powerful feelings of love
38:52Powerful feelings of forgiveness
38:54Don't hold back
38:55Not only you put your arms
38:57Around your son
38:58You hold him tight
39:01And you send him
39:04Those very special feelings of love
39:06That only a mother can have
39:08For her boy
39:09Of purity
39:11Of compassion
39:12Of understanding
39:14Send those feelings to your boy
39:17And let them fill him
39:19Let them fill his empty
39:20Hurt body
39:22His empty hurt mind
39:24Fill him with the love of the mother
39:26The forgiveness
39:28And George
39:30Hold on to your mom
39:32Hold her tight
39:33And fill her with the forgiveness
39:36That she needs
39:37And take her love
39:39Feel it course
39:41Through your very soul
39:42Feel it fill you
39:44Feel it restore you
39:47Feel the understanding
39:50Feel it
39:52Feel it
39:52Feel the compassion
39:53Feel the strength
39:56Tell her how much you love her now
40:04I love you very much mom
40:07I care very deeply for you mom
40:11I love you very much
40:12Tell you sorry for the way
40:17That it's been
40:18But it doesn't have to be that way anymore
40:21I'm really sorry mom
40:23For the way it's been
40:24I'm really sorry
40:25That there's been a wall between us
40:28And it's not going to be that way anymore mom
40:32How do you feel?
40:34I feel good
40:35Now your mother fades
40:39We'll deal with her later
40:40You go back and sit down in the chair
40:42Now we've neutralized mom
40:44Which was the big player in this game
40:47And he feels very powerfully
40:49Toward her now
40:51Which will tell you exactly what that means
40:54After we get done with this session
40:56But now I'm saying
40:57You know
40:59The father abandoned him
41:01He can't have really thrilling thoughts
41:02About the father
41:03So I thought it was in George's best interest
41:05As long as we got this far
41:07So let's just go ahead and deal with the father
41:09See if we can get him out of the picture
41:11As any generator of negative feelings
41:13Now I didn't know if he was alive or dead
41:15So I decided to use deathbed therapy
41:21Because it just would be easier for him
41:23To relate to that was my opinion
41:26So let's just move on to the deathbed therapy
41:29Variation of this technique
41:31As you sit down in the chair
41:34Feel it glow
41:34Go through your whole body
41:37How do you feel sitting in that
41:41In the chair now George
41:42Very comfortable
41:44Good to get that out isn't it
41:48Yes
41:48Let your mind
41:52Grow clear
41:54And your beautiful effects
41:55Are going to continue to grow stronger
41:57Every single day
41:59I want you to create another scene
42:03In your mind
42:04Another imaginary scene
42:06Just as well as you've done
42:08With this one
42:09I want you to imagine
42:11That you're with your father
42:14You're by his deathbed
42:17You know
42:18You weren't there in real life
42:20That's why I'm going to have you create it
42:21Do you understand?
42:22A lot of times you'll do this with people
42:24And they'll say
42:24Well my father
42:26Didn't die in bed
42:27He got run over by a bus
42:30Well alright
42:31We're just going to imagine
42:32That he survived that temporarily
42:34And he's in the hospital
42:35And he's dying
42:38You see
42:38Imagine
42:41Pretend
42:42That you're in a hospital
42:45And you're standing by your dad's deathbed
42:48Now he has to go
42:50In just a few moments
42:51It's his time
42:52So this is going to be your last
42:55Your very last chance
42:57To talk to your dad
42:59So I want you to imagine
43:01That you look over at him
43:02And I want you to say this to him
43:04Dad
43:05Before you go
43:06There are some things
43:08I have to tell you
43:09Say that to him
43:11Dad
43:12Before you go
43:13There are some things
43:14I have to tell you
43:15A little bit more energy
43:17In his voice
43:17Tell him what they are
43:18Time to clear it all up right now
43:25Dad
43:29You missed
43:29You missed everything
43:30Tell him how he hurt you
43:38Dad
43:41You never gave
43:42You never gave me anything
43:43You just left
43:46You didn't give me nothing
43:48Too busy drinking
43:52And why couldn't you ever
43:54Just put your arms around me
43:56And held me
43:56Dad you could have been there
44:01You could have been a father
44:03You just left me
44:07You didn't
44:07You just weren't there
44:09Tell them how that affected you
44:11Dad that really hurt me
44:17That left me with nobody
44:22That really hurt
44:25Say dad
44:27Why couldn't you have shown me love
44:30Dad I wish you could have shown me love
44:36I wish you could have gave me something
44:40He keeps going back
44:42To you just weren't there
44:43And I ask some stupid questions
44:45As we're doing
44:46As I look back over the tape
44:47You know
44:48Why didn't you
44:49Put your arms around him
44:51All this
44:51Well he wasn't there
44:52Jerry
44:53Duh
44:53You know
44:54He left before he was born
44:55Yeah
44:55So
44:56But even with that
44:58We still have managed
44:59To get through
44:59And get it done
45:00Tell him that
45:03Tell him how his inability
45:05To show you love
45:06Caused you pain
45:07Dad I had a lot of pain
45:14Had a lot of pain
45:16For a lot of years
45:17Because you weren't able
45:18To show me any love
45:19You weren't able
45:21To give me anything
45:22You just weren't there
45:25Just weren't there
45:26Alright be the father
45:27You're on your deathbed
45:28What's your first name
45:29George
45:30George
45:31The father of George
45:33You're on your deathbed
45:34You have to leave
45:34In just a moment or two now
45:36You've just heard your son
45:37Talk to you
45:38This is your very last chance
45:40To talk to your boy
45:41To straighten out things
45:43That need to be straightened out
45:44Finally put things to rest
45:46Respond to your son
45:47That's what he told you
45:49Son I'm sorry I wasn't there
45:58I'm sorry I didn't
45:59Give you love
46:00I'm sorry I didn't
46:02Do more than I did
46:05Him looking for the power
46:08I'm sorry that my love
46:08Was what it was for you
46:10I didn't mean for it to be this way
46:14I wish I could have given you more
46:18Be the boy
46:19Tell him how
46:20The way he treated you
46:22Or did he treat you
46:23Tell him how that made you feel about him
46:26You just
46:30You left me very confused
46:32I never knew you
46:34I felt empty
46:35All my life
46:38You were missing
46:41You left me confused
46:44Tell him how you felt
46:46About him
46:47He keeps telling
46:48How he feels
46:50About himself
46:52Not how he feels
46:53About his father
46:54He just can't seem to get there
46:56You see
46:57You felt about you
46:59Tell him how you felt about him
47:01Because of what he did not do to you
47:02Or for you
47:04I felt very hurt
47:13That's how he felt
47:14Because you weren't there
47:16That's how you felt
47:20I want you to tell him
47:21How you felt about him
47:23Dad you made me feel
47:27What about your father
47:28You made me
47:34You made me mad
47:35You made me angry
47:38You pissed me off
47:44Jesus
47:45You really pissed me off
47:49You really made me
47:50You really made me angry
47:52I want to put this arm
47:57Under the control
47:58Of the subconscious mind
48:00Conscious mind
48:01Is not going to be able
48:02To work this arm
48:03This arm is going to be
48:04Under the control
48:05Of the subconscious mind
48:06Now watch this arm
48:09He really didn't accept
48:11This suggestion very well
48:12And he's like
48:13Really wussy
48:14Now what happens
48:15As soon as you add voice to it
48:17In other words
48:18You make him talk
48:19While he's doing that
48:20Watch how that adds to it
48:21The subconscious mind
48:24Is going to talk
48:25With this arm
48:26Now
48:28Subconscious mind
48:31Is going to talk
48:31With this arm
48:32It's going to feel
48:33With this arm
48:34Subconscious mind
48:35Is going to show
48:36With this arm
48:37How it felt
48:38About the father
48:39Subconscious mind
48:40Is going to show
48:41With this arm
48:42How it felt
48:42About the father
48:43Feel it
48:49Feel it
48:53Now let that arm talk
48:57Show that father
48:59How bad
49:01He hurt you
49:02The arm begins
49:04To speak now
49:05Through motion
49:07Show your father
49:09How much he hurt you
49:11That's not exactly
49:13Very much
49:13Is it
49:14Speak with a powerful voice
49:15More in there
49:16How much he hurt you
49:17Say it with your throat
49:21You pissed me off
49:24Say it
49:24You pissed me off
49:26And talk with the arm
49:27Again
49:28You really pissed me off
49:31Again
49:31As soon as he verbalizes
49:32It starts to come out
49:34You really pissed me off
49:36Again
49:37Damn it
49:38You really pissed me off
49:39Hit him
49:40Kill him
49:42You son of a bitch
49:45You bastard
49:47Tell him
49:47Tell him
49:50Tell him
49:50Tell him
49:52Why could you see that
49:53Now look at him go
49:54See
49:55Tell me there's no anger there
49:58You
49:58You son of a bitch
50:00Tell him
50:01You son of a bitch
50:02You son of a bitch
50:02You son of a bitch
50:03You're going to
50:04Stop now
50:05Tell him
50:06Damn it
50:06Tell him
50:07You pissed me off
50:09You just got to keep
50:11Your nose out of the way
50:12With a nose like that
50:16It can get in the way easy
50:17I didn't know what I was doing
50:27Tell him how your life
50:30Was out of control
50:31At that time
50:32I was really
50:35Oh no
50:37I was really not there
50:42For you
50:42I was sick
50:44I didn't know any better
50:50I was sick
50:51You realize how bad
50:57You hurt your boy now
50:58Yes
50:59Do you love your son
51:01Yes I do
51:03Very much
51:05Would you want to help your son
51:06If you could
51:07Yes very much
51:09You only got a moment or two
51:10The only way you can help your son now
51:12Is by begging for his forgiveness
51:15Before you go
51:16For all the pain that you caused
51:18Would you be willing to do that George
51:20Yes
51:20Ask him
51:21And ask him because he's angry with you
51:25You saw that didn't you
51:26Yes
51:26Alright
51:27Somehow
51:28That you can communicate your sincerity
51:31Ask your boy to forgive you
51:33Son I really need your
51:39I really need for you to forgive me
51:42It's a terrible thing
51:45I must
51:47Want you to forgive me
51:50For not being there
51:53For not loving you
51:54I just want you to forgive me
51:58And just know that I love you
52:00And that's what counts
52:03Yeah
52:03Good
52:04Be the son
52:06Alright
52:07You let quite a bit of anger out today already
52:10Haven't you
52:11Yes
52:12Now you don't have to forgive your dad
52:16You understand the power of forgiveness now
52:18Don't you
52:18See how wonderful it made you feel
52:21When you forgave your mother
52:22Didn't it
52:23Yes
52:24Would you be willing to give your father
52:28That same quality of forgiveness
52:29George
52:30His life was a mess
52:31His life was so screwed up
52:33Before you even came online
52:34He didn't know
52:35He was out of control
52:37Totally out of control
52:39And you just happened to pay the price
52:42For his feelings of being out of control
52:45From the disaster he made out of his life
52:47And remember
52:48It wasn't his fault how he treated you
52:49He was completely out of control by that point
52:52You understand that don't you
52:53Yes
52:53Would you be willing to give him
52:56That same feeling of forgiveness
52:58Maybe more deeply
53:00As you gave your mother
53:02Yes
53:04Would you be willing to leave
53:05The mental, emotional, protective defenses down
53:09While you do it
53:10Yes
53:10Alright
53:11In whatever words you need
53:17To send feeling to your father
53:20Of forgiveness
53:21Formulate those words
53:23In your soul
53:24In your heart
53:25In the feeling level part of you
53:28And say what needs to be said
53:31To your father
53:31So you both can become free
53:34Do that now
53:37Dad I really do forgive you
53:47I've loved you all along
53:50I just really do forgive you
53:53I really understand
53:54But I want you to know
53:57I've loved you all along
53:59Isn't that amazing
54:00Well the rest of it
54:04Is like you saw
54:05On the chair therapy
54:06So we kind of
54:07Cut it off at that point
54:09So you don't have to live through that again
54:11At what points did you do a lot of the tapping
54:16I know it's just a distraction
54:18To keep him focused
54:22At what points did I what?
54:25You didn't do a lot of the physical tapping
54:26It's nuts
54:29It's what I feel
54:30It's what my emotion is
54:32When I feel I have to put it on
54:34There's no way to teach that
54:36It's just that
54:36You'll know when to do it
54:38If it feels like it should be done
54:40You do it
54:41Kind of a thing
54:42With somebody who is kind of sterile emotionally
54:45You want to really work them hard physically
54:49As much as you can
54:50To get into them
54:51To get into that subconscious mind
54:53George
54:54The way you ended this
54:55Deathbed therapy ends
54:57A little bit different than chair therapy
54:58After you're all done
55:01And you're ready to go
55:02And you're ready to end it
55:03You say to one or the other
55:06Okay, dad's time to go
55:07Let's say you say to the father
55:09It's your time to go
55:10You only have a few more seconds
55:12Make a final statement to your son
55:16And then say goodbye
55:17And the father in this case
55:19Said something like
55:20Son, I know you can be great
55:22You can do wonderful things
55:24You know, your past is something
55:27That I wish I could change
55:28But I didn't
55:28And I want you to go forward
55:30I know you're intelligent
55:31You can do it
55:31That type of thing
55:33And then he said goodbye
55:35Then I said, okay, George
55:36Now it's your turn
55:37To make a final statement
55:38To your dad
55:39Before he goes
55:41Say whatever needs to be said
55:44And then say goodbye
55:45Dad, I'm sorry
55:46We couldn't get together
55:47Somehow I've always loved you
55:49I missed us going hunting
55:51And fishing
55:52And doing those things
55:54That a dad and a son can do
55:57Ball games
55:59But I know your life was hard
56:01And difficult
56:02And I really miss you
56:05And I hope I see you again
56:07Goodbye, dad
56:08And the scene faded
56:11And that was it
56:12Now, interesting
56:14Because George's mother
56:18Was in a nursing home
56:20Now, George's mother
56:22Had the reputation
56:24In the nursing home
56:25Of having probably
56:27The most toxic
56:29And poisonous personality
56:31Of anybody in the nursing home
56:33In other words
56:35She was mean
56:36I mean flat
56:37But South American mean
56:40Shea Guevara mean
56:47We're talking
56:49Mean
56:50Anyway
56:52After we finished this therapy
56:56It took us a couple
56:56Of more sessions
56:57I got George
56:59Out of the mental hospital
57:01And kind of said
57:03I'd be responsible for him
57:05Which you never should do
57:06But I fell in love
57:08With the guy too
57:09After working with him
57:10He was like my son
57:11Kind of a thing
57:12And I knew he was fine
57:13And he was fine
57:14And I got him a job
57:17Because he was
57:17He has no skills
57:19I called up a friend of mine
57:20That worked in the Motorola plant
57:22In Fort Lauderdale
57:22And I got him a job
57:24As a janitor
57:25But I had him so programmed
57:27George
57:27That wherever you go to work
57:28You're not going to be
57:29A clock watcher
57:30And you're going to do
57:31The absolute best job
57:32That anybody's ever done
57:34In that position before
57:35And George
57:37Was the best janitor
57:38They had in the place
57:40And he got very quickly
57:42Promoted
57:43And they put him
57:43On a cellular phone
57:45Assembly line
57:47And I don't know
57:48What he did
57:49He boops this
57:50Or something
57:50As a cane path
57:51But whatever his job was
57:53He did it better
57:54Than any other worker
57:55That ever did that job
57:57He got to work early
57:58He stayed late
57:59He never complained
58:00He was the perfect worker
58:03During this period
58:03He married the girl
58:04The nurse
58:06And she got pregnant
58:07He got a job
58:11Next
58:11They moved him up
58:12Because he was so good
58:13To manager
58:14Of this particular
58:15Cellular phone
58:17Assembly area
58:19They had several areas
58:20Of this
58:21And the last thing
58:22I heard from him
58:23Which was only
58:23A couple of months ago
58:24He's in charge
58:25Of the whole
58:25Cellular phone
58:26Manufacturing division
58:29Down there
58:30In Fort Lauderdale
58:31Now
58:31Now the interesting thing
58:33When you do this type
58:34Of work
58:34With an alcoholic
58:35And I hate that term
58:37Because alcohol
58:38Really from the hypnosis
58:39Perception
58:41Is not the problem
58:42We again
58:45Couldn't get rid of George
58:46And we didn't want to
58:46We really liked him
58:47Cheryl and I
58:48We got very friendly
58:49With
58:49We already were
58:51Very friendly
58:52With the nurse
58:52So it was a natural
58:54And they'd invite us
58:54They got married
58:55And they bought a house
58:56And they moved
58:56Into this house
58:57And they'd invite us
58:59Over for barbecues
59:00All the time
59:00And George
59:02Asks me
59:02While we're
59:03Burning steaks
59:04Or whatever
59:05If I want a beer
59:06Or something
59:06I said
59:06Well
59:07It's fine