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FunTranscript
00:00I move forward? Okay, okay.
00:02Coffee.
00:04Oh no.
00:06Oh no. Okay, okay.
00:08Blow, blow, blow.
00:10I'm trying to blow, hang on, this is difficult.
00:12Oh god. I didn't know I have to hold it.
00:14You have to hold it? Yeah.
00:18Oh god!
00:20You fucked up, you suck.
00:22It's really hard, it's really hard to hit skill checks.
00:24Sure.
00:26It is. Here we go.
00:28Oh my god, that wasn't even anyone here.
00:30It's so difficult. You just gotta wait like a
00:32hot second, please.
00:34Oh my god. Right, right, right, right.
00:36To do this not to die. Great.
00:38Now we don't even get coffee.
00:40Great. We don't even get coffee.
00:42Remember, pants and shoes. Are we standing up?
00:44I'm standing up, I'm standing up.
00:46Are you? I'm trying.
00:48Okay, good, yep.
00:50You got it, you got it.
00:52Bobby, thank you for the gifted.
00:54Thank you Zapotilla.
00:56Stupid.
00:58I'm breathing in, hang on.
01:00Press right trigger.
01:02I'm pressing right, pressing right trigger.
01:04Hold on, hold on.
01:06We've gotta do our like, you go, me go, you go, me.
01:08We have to talk to each other about talking.
01:10Okay, let's do it. About walking.
01:12So, I'll go? No, I go?
01:14No, no, no. I go.
01:16I go, now you go.
01:18Alright, me.
01:19I swear to god.
01:20Now you.
01:21Okay, you.
01:22Okay, now me.
01:23Now me.
01:24Now you.
01:25Absolutely, fantastic.
01:26I'm almost there, keep going.
01:27Good, excellent.
01:28I am totally gonna.
01:29Don't quit.
01:31Yes.
01:32Excellent.
01:33No, wait, stop.
01:34Me.
01:35You.
01:36Me.
01:37Yep, me.
01:38No, hold on my back.
01:39Listen, it's, it's always you.
01:41It's always, I got you.
01:43Oh my god.
01:44Oh my god.
01:45Oh my god.
01:46We're doing pretty well.
01:47This is actually pretty good.
01:48This is pretty good.
01:49What's that place where they legalized all drugs?
01:51It was somewhere in Oregon, right?
01:52So, we got this.
01:53We're fine.
01:54We're good.
01:55Classic Portland behavior.
01:57Oh my god.
01:59We are in Portland.
02:00Me?
02:01It was like that when I got there.
02:03You might want to get that hood fixed.
02:05Okay, wait, wait, wait.
02:07Uh, yeah, I'll, I'll just get in the car, yo.
02:14Trying to fix the car?
02:15Okay, turn around.
02:16There we go.
02:17Oh, we have to drive?
02:18Yeah, we're gonna fucking drive.
02:19Oh no.
02:20We're gonna get in this car.
02:21Sam awakens unlocked in a time, wait.
02:24Unlocked?
02:25Time attack mode.
02:26Oh, okay.
02:27So, it means if we wanted to try and do the game in a time attack mode, we could.
02:29What's time attack mode?
02:30We do.
02:31It just means that we have a, it times us and we can.
02:35That'd be a wrinkle what?
02:37At this point, Sam notices that death isn't really a nice guy.
02:40I like to breathe.
02:41I guess I should teach you how to drive a stick, huh?
02:44Heh heh.
02:45Oh.
02:46Oh.
02:47So, when starting the car, you wanna press down the clutch pedal.
02:51Nobody has clutched anything.
02:53I'm gonna teach you how to drive a stick, okay?
02:55Good luck, Sam.
02:56Please.
02:57Please do.
02:58I'll wait until you've swallowed your banana first.
03:03Okay.
03:04Mm-hmm.
03:05Mm-hmm.
03:06Did it blink?
03:07Mm-hmm.
03:08Mm-hmm.
03:09Mm-hmm.
03:10Okay, good.
03:11Swallow it.
03:12Good.
03:13Okay, good.
03:14Excellent.
03:15Alright, here we go.
03:16Roger the clutch.
03:17Okay, good.
03:18Press the gas pedal.
03:19Okay, is that me?
03:21As you let go of the clutch, the car will start moving in bits.
03:26Oh, no.
03:27Oh, God.
03:30Release right trigger to start driving.
03:32Good job, dude.
03:33You ain't as useless as you look, know what I mean?
03:35Oh, no.
03:36Now, to stop, you gotta move your right foot to the brake pedal.
03:41The left for us, he means.
03:44So, I'm-
03:45That's you, that's you.
03:46R.
03:47And, obviously, press it down.
03:49Is it me?
03:50Press it down, or is it you?
03:51Oh, God.
03:52Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.
03:54I am, I am, I am, I am.
03:55Start driving again, like I showed you.
03:59Okay, so now you have to put the foot back.
04:00Okay, now you have to put the foot back.
04:01Yep.
04:03There we go.
04:04Obviously, you turn left and right.
04:06I have to turn as well?
04:07Are you fucking kidding me?
04:09I feel like you're not-
04:10Oh, my God!
04:11What the fuck?
04:12Jeez.
04:13If you wanna drive faster, you gotta use the stick, baby.
04:19To upshift, you press down the clutch, and then yank the stick.
04:24Are you kidding me?
04:25Bro, this is a lot.
04:26This is a lot.
04:27Down on the stick, okay, okay.
04:29You press R, R, okay, go.
04:31Yeah, I'm holding on that trigger, and you're gonna press-
04:33Obviously, you can't turn left when your hand be on the stick.
04:37So, to turn left-
04:38Are you breathing?
04:39You're still breathing?
04:40I am taking a big look at my mouth, nice and wide, okay?
04:42I am getting as much oxygen as I can.
04:44You know what?
04:45Actually, I can just hold my mouth open like this, and then you don't need me to breathe.
04:48No, no, no.
04:49We're gonna die.
04:50We're gonna die.
04:51Let me breathe.
04:52Let me breathe.
04:53New adventure.
04:54Together.
04:55Cozy.