Therapy Thursday: Should Mom Push Back From Letting Her Son Get Involved In Hip Hop Music? The therapist are in!
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00:00Therapy Thursday, we talk it out, work it out, all right?
00:02We give everybody 60-second sessions.
00:04We ain't brilliant, but we play that on radio.
00:07And without Meredith here, it's going to be a little messy.
00:09It's a little rilla.
00:10It's a little rilla.
00:11It's like, like Tondrick said, man, without her, it's like a male show,
00:15and it's like you don't have that female kind of thing.
00:17Yeah, to soften it up.
00:18You don't have that estrogen to soften it up a little bit,
00:20so we apologize early.
00:22Okay.
00:22All right, we started.
00:23All right, Danielle is checking in,
00:25and all it says next to her name is has some crazy stuff going on.
00:30Danielle, what is going on?
00:32Oh, my Lord.
00:34All right, so long story short,
00:37my fiancé slash daughter's father bring us out to Florida three years ago
00:43and got caught cheating, me and women off of POS,
00:50and gets caught, you know, took them back, did whatever.
00:55So the other night.
00:57Wait, turn the radio down because it's going to confuse you
01:01because it's on a delay, so you're going to be hearing yourself twice.
01:05The other night at 1126, this woman hits me up from Orlando
01:09talking about, oh, are you, you know, in a relationship with Jason Pointer?
01:16Oh.
01:16Okay, we're saying names.
01:18Okay, all right, all right.
01:19First and last name.
01:20We don't want that, Jason.
01:20Okay, yeah, you're out there now.
01:23You know, I'm like, yeah, that's my fiancé.
01:27So he's been messing with this woman for three months, okay,
01:34telling him that he lives at his brother's house in Point Siena,
01:37and she's hitting me up because, you know, he wants a relationship with her.
01:46The text message, oh, if I can get your number and send you these text messages.
01:50No, no, you don't even have to send that because, I mean,
01:53we got all of the information right here.
01:55He's breaking your trust.
01:56He's cheating on you.
01:57And, you know, like, he's denying it.
02:01He's saying this woman is crazy that he broke it off with her.
02:06I had her on the phone.
02:08I had her on the phone.
02:09But wait, let me ask you this.
02:11You said he got caught before, and it wasn't with this woman, right?
02:14No, it was with somebody else.
02:16Right.
02:16Okay, so that, and you took him back.
02:19Y'all worked your way back to it, and now it's this one,
02:21and he's saying he broke it off.
02:23He's saying that he never slept with her.
02:27Like, she sent me pictures.
02:29She sent me graphic text messages from him.
02:33Like, how you text somebody?
02:34Oh, listen to this.
02:36How you text somebody?
02:37No, no, no, no.
02:38Don't read the text.
02:38Don't read the text because we got enough.
02:40We got enough, Danielle.
02:41Danielle, you know the answer to this before you even call.
02:44You know this, right?
02:44You're just looking for confirmation, right?
02:46I kicked him out.
02:48Okay.
02:48Well, that's the first thing.
02:50Now, you said brought you down here.
02:52Can you sustain yourself here without him?
02:55Of course.
02:56Not of course, because, I mean, I just want to ask him,
02:58because, like, do you have to go back?
03:00Do you have to go back home,
03:01or can you be down here without this guy?
03:04Yeah, but it's just like, you know,
03:06the whole time I've been down here,
03:08it's just been, you know, bad vibes.
03:11Yeah.
03:12See, let that go.
03:13Why make your day?
03:15Your day is supposed to be a blessing.
03:18It's present, like they always say.
03:19The present is a gift.
03:20Why make your day about having bad days
03:23because this dude can't get his stuff right?
03:26He's cheated on you at one.
03:27You let him back in, and that's gracious.
03:29That's well beyond how many people would be gracious
03:32with that kind of situation.
03:33So you already did, like, the most.
03:37So now you out here doing it extra.
03:39He's showing you who he is.
03:41When they say somebody shows you who they are,
03:44you believe him.
03:45You need to believe who he is and stop wasting your time.
03:48Now, if you want to go back, you absolutely can
03:51because you're a grown person.
03:52But you know it's going to continue
03:54because why should he change?
03:56He doesn't have any reason to change.
03:58He'd rather lie and say, hey, that she's lying
04:02and that's not real and blah, blah, blah.
04:03So you know the answer.
04:05He's not deserving of whatever you've given him.
04:07So I think you need to keep it moving.
04:10I really think so.
04:11I mean, everybody in here is shaking their head as well,
04:13saying you're wasting your time.
04:14And you know this, and you know,
04:16you might need some confirmation,
04:18but deep down, you know if you let him back,
04:21it's going to happen again.
04:22Yeah, plus you put his name out there on the radio,
04:24so this relationship is over.
04:25Okay, so just let him go and find you somebody.
04:27Don't rush into anything.
04:29Make sure you concentrate on you,
04:32and somebody's going to watch you loving yourself so much
04:35that they're going to be like,
04:36let me get in the business of loving you too,
04:37and you'll be much better, okay?
04:39Yeah.
04:40All right?
04:41All right, you call us and let us know
04:42when you find that real one.
04:43I definitely will.
04:45Thank you, guys.
04:46All right, we love you.
04:47All right, girl.
04:47Let's see here.
04:48Dr. Davi, you up?
04:49D-Milla.
04:50Dr. Davi, I have an employment question for you.
04:53It's off the text out of 863.
04:54It says, I run a small business with five employees,
04:57so my employees and their schedules are tight.
04:59One of them has asked for leave because of a death,
05:04but it's the death of the dog.
05:06They're asking me to be out today,
05:08Friday, and Monday for the memorial.
05:12I don't ever want to be a tyrant is what I've told myself
05:16when I opened this business,
05:17but I also don't want to set a bad precedent
05:19for another four people who would lose a pet
05:22and think they can dip on me too.
05:24Would you approve this in the business you own?
05:27Man, some people look at their pet like a kid,
05:30so if you are in that mindset,
05:33losing your pet is almost like,
05:35it's like losing a family member.
05:36If you can afford it,
05:37if it's not going to crumble your business,
05:40put your personal feelings to the side
05:42about the doggy memorial and all that,
05:44if it's not going to break you,
05:45let your employee have their grieving period.
05:49Let them have their time off.
05:50I think it'll be better off in the long run.
05:53Your other employees are watching.
05:55Not necessarily to take advantage.
05:57If you have a good team,
05:58they're not looking at it through that lens.
06:00Yeah, they are.
06:01Not always.
06:02Not always.
06:04If you can afford and figure out a scheduling thing
06:08to let them have their time,
06:10I say let them have their time.
06:12When you was telling that answer,
06:14you had like a smirk on your face.
06:16And that's why I'm looking at you
06:18because I'm like, you smirking.
06:19You low-key are like, mm.
06:21I'm not trying to belittle their loss,
06:23but I get the boss's point of view.
06:26It's a dog.
06:27I understand, but it could be,
06:30that person could not even be able to work
06:32if they're grieving with their pet.
06:34No, I totally agree.
06:35I just, you know, it does set a crazy precedent
06:38because we had, we've had four,
06:41I mean, we've been here for minutes.
06:42We've had like four animals that have passed away
06:44and people had to take, they had to take time
06:47because they were longstanding pets.
06:49And it's like, that's, remember their family
06:50broke up their routine.
06:52They ended up having to take a day or two.
06:55I don't know about Thursday, Friday.
06:56Thursday, the weekend, and Monday.
06:59Like that, that sounds like you trying
07:00to slide a vacation.
07:02Yeah, I mean, do you at least go back
07:04and like negotiate and say, hey, all right, listen,
07:07I'll give you a day and a half.
07:08Yeah, maybe not Monday.
07:09Maybe I'll come over there and help you dig.
07:11Like, I mean, I'm not trying to be insensitive.
07:13I'm saying what you gotta do is look for them.
07:14There could be a conversation there.
07:16Maybe not Friday and Monday.
07:18Maybe one of the two.
07:19Like help them out.
07:20All right, all right, let's see.
07:21What we got?
07:22I have one for you.
07:22It says, Orlando, my girlfriend loses everything.
07:26Her phone, her keys, her wallet.
07:28I love her, but I feel like this shows
07:30a lot of irresponsibility.
07:31It makes me think that like if we had a kid one day,
07:34would she leave him somewhere too?
07:36Is this much to do about nothing or is this a sign?
07:39It's much to do about nothing.
07:41Really?
07:41If you worried about something, first of all,
07:45the phone, the keys, and all that,
07:47that ain't as important as a baby.
07:49When somebody has a baby passed through their life,
07:52through their body, and life has been created,
07:55they will be responsible.
07:57Now, you do have to work with them on like memory stuff
08:00or maybe get that AirTag, Apple Tag,
08:02whatever that people are using to help her like fix stuff.
08:06But don't be acting like that's gonna happen down the line.
08:10This is just, it's immaturity,
08:12but it's something that can be fixed.
08:14So I wouldn't worry about it.
08:16I would just say, hey, you know, let's help you
08:19be more memorable.
08:20Like I remember Joe was talking about that
08:22when his mom was bugging about,
08:24he would always ask her, hey, have you seen my keys?
08:27And she's like, are you asking me about your keys?
08:29The keys that you use?
08:31Like, no, are you asking me?
08:33Like, ha, ha, ha.
08:33Let me help you find it.
08:35Like, it's like, yo, like put them up on a hook.
08:37Help her, get a key hook.
08:38And then say, hey, let's put them up here.
08:40Help her out.
08:41You know, if it's your partner
08:42and you really are rocking with them,
08:44then that's small.
08:46So it's not that big a deal.
08:47There's somebody who just called
08:48that met the second lover of their boyfriend.
08:51Okay.
08:51On text with pictures.
08:53And there's stuff like that
08:54that people are going through.
08:55Losing keys and being irresponsible is nothing.
08:58Okay.
08:58All right.
08:59So don't even worry about that.
09:00We got one for the holiday action.
09:02It says, I don't have a specific doctor,
09:05but I'm hosting a dinner on Thanksgiving
09:07and trying to do the right thing.
09:09So I need some help.
09:10My pops, who is a newly recovering alcoholic,
09:14is going to be there.
09:15And I don't want to make a dry holiday
09:19and make it whack.
09:20But how do I help him
09:22and still have a celebration that's worthwhile?
09:26Ooh, that's a tough one.
09:28That's, all right.
09:29So dry is what most people would say.
09:32I think that does kind of take the energy
09:34and all of the air out of the room
09:36when everybody ain't drinking.
09:37If you got a big family
09:39and if everybody is coming,
09:40what if you reach out to everybody
09:42and say, hey, look here,
09:43we might want to push the alcohol
09:45to a little bit later
09:46if pops is one of those people
09:48who kind of dip.
09:49Okay.
09:49You know what I'm saying?
09:50Like the older people,
09:51if you got your family there,
09:52you got abuela,
09:53you got, you know,
09:54you got a whole bunch of folks there
09:55that might not be there
09:56through the whole night.
09:57It could turn up later
09:58because some people are going to stay all night,
10:00play Spades, Monopoly, whatever.
10:01Right.
10:02You know, so let's push the alcohol
10:04to the second half
10:05and maybe pops can dip out.
10:07You know how like people
10:08who's like in their house,
10:10they partake
10:10and they usually have that,
10:13a designated area to do that.
10:16You know,
10:16would it be too much to ask
10:18to have like a drinking area
10:20for that evening?
10:22Like, hey,
10:22we're drinking on the patio.
10:24We're drinking in the living room
10:26or something like that.
10:27That way pops could,
10:28if nothing else,
10:29just at least stay away from that area.
10:31I mean,
10:31it's possible,
10:32but I will tell you
10:33because I've had a few alcoholics around me
10:35that he's going to get offended
10:36and be like,
10:37y'all ain't got to do that for me.
10:38Like, you know what I'm saying?
10:39And so you want to try
10:41and keep it on the low.
10:42That's why I said,
10:42reach out to all of the people who come in.
10:44If you got 10 people coming,
10:45make 10 calls and say,
10:46hey, listen,
10:47because pops is going through this,
10:49we decided we're going to approach it this way.
10:50Whatever way you decide,
10:52the fact that you're thinking about it
10:54is dope.
10:55And the fact that you're trying to protect the family
10:57and everything else,
10:57you know,
10:58with pops being,
10:59you know,
11:00going through that is fire.
11:01So just do what you got to do,
11:03but reach out to everybody individually
11:04and I'm sure that'll work.
11:05I have one for you, Orlando.
11:06All right,
11:06we got one more.
11:07It says,
11:07my 16-year-old son loves music with a passion.
11:10Always had since he was very young.
11:12He wants to be a rapper.
11:14After losing another one yesterday,
11:16I'm thinking about getting him guitar lessons instead.
11:19Would it be unreasonable
11:20to try to persuade him into another genre
11:23even though he loves hip hop?
11:24Listen,
11:26hip hop has been around for a long time
11:29and it's made a lot of young inner city.
11:32It used to be young black men
11:33and then it was Latino,
11:35it was white kids.
11:36There's just,
11:36now it's just a culture.
11:38It's made a lot of young inner city kids
11:40a lot of money.
11:42And there's a lot of opportunity there.
11:44I think the headlines
11:46kind of undermine the art form.
11:49And so we're seeing headlines about death
11:52all over the Bay Area
11:54and these people ain't rapping.
11:56These people just out living their lives.
11:57So we're really in a different time.
12:00If you spend the time with your son
12:01like you doing
12:03and investing in him
12:04and showing him you believe in his craft,
12:06but also believe in him as a son,
12:09not just make him a rapper,
12:11but make him your son who raps,
12:13then you're raising the right kind
12:15and you want to keep him away
12:17from all of that craziness.
12:18I mean, you can't protect him forever,
12:21but letting him rap
12:23or letting him follow his passion
12:24is nothing wrong with that.
12:26And also letting him play the guitar
12:29and rap is not bad either.
12:31That's true.
12:32Because I've seen people like B.O.B.
12:33I've seen people like Machine Gun Kelly.
12:35I've seen people with a great artistry
12:37be able to incorporate Wyclef,
12:39people who can incorporate guitar
12:41into what they do
12:43and it makes them even more dope
12:45as a songwriter.
12:46To piggyback just a little bit
12:47off of what you said,
12:48it has made a lot of inner city
12:50less fortunate people a lot of money.
12:51It's also found,
12:52given a lot of people purpose,
12:54a reason to keep going.
12:56And with the Young Dolph situation,
12:58I want you to know that like,
13:00not trying to point fingers
13:01or blame or anything like that,
13:03but he had a lot going on
13:05outside of music.
13:06This wasn't the first time
13:07he was targeted.
13:09And if, you know,
13:10just because you rap
13:12doesn't automatically mean
13:14that all this street stuff
13:16is going to follow you.
13:17There's a lot on the other sides of it
13:20that, you know,
13:21you might not know.
13:22You end up in some places
13:23that it could go down.
13:24You can, yeah.
13:25But like I said,
13:26you could end up in that place
13:27just by being somewhere.
13:30Right.
13:30You know what I'm saying?
13:30So it's not about the rap part,
13:32especially if he's good.
13:34If it's just him wanting to be it,
13:36let him try a bunch of different things,
13:38but also maybe sit down
13:40and talk to him about the things
13:41that you're worried about.
13:42Like, hey, you want to be a rapper?
13:43I'm worried about that
13:44because this Dolph situation.
13:46But Dolph died at 36.
13:48He got shot in 2017,
13:50four years ago,
13:52when he was 32
13:53and living a much different life.
13:54Think about this.
13:55He was delivering turkeys
13:57the day that he,
13:58or planning to deliver turkeys
14:00in Memphis the day
14:01that he passed away yesterday.
14:02So you got to remember
14:04that these people grow as well.
14:06A young rapper who's 20
14:07is doing major things at 30.
14:10Right.
14:10You know, if we can get him
14:11to live to get to 30.
14:13So have that conversation
14:14with your son
14:15and then also listen to your son
14:17because your son is going to tell you
14:18probably more about
14:19a young Dolph situation
14:20than many other situations
14:21that he's aware of
14:23because you don't just have
14:23to worry about guns.
14:24You got to worry about pills.
14:25You got to worry about Brittany Renner.
14:27You got to worry about all,
14:28you got to worry about
14:29a lot of stuff.
14:30So mama,
14:31let him get the guitar
14:32and the beat machine.
14:33All right.
14:33Let's go.