MJTV: A Car Smashed Through A Popular Tampa Bay Restaurant So We Sang About It
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00All right, first of all, the story that caught Fester's attention is that a van plowed through the First Watch restaurant on Fowler yesterday.
00:15Yeah, this is First Watch, Fowler, Hillsborough County Fire and Rescue, how to treat people.
00:21I guess some people were transported to the hospital.
00:23And according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, they say that a senior citizen driver hit the gas instead of the brake.
00:35Hit the gas instead of the brake.
00:38Another old fart makes a big mistake.
00:42We're talking right through the flipping restaurant.
00:44Scroll down.
00:45I mean, this white van.
00:47It's an Astrovan.
00:48It's a Chevy Astrovan.
00:49This white van is inside, the whole van is inside of First Watch on Fowler.
00:56The copy in the news report is exactly our jingle.
01:00Oh, it is.
01:01Verbatim.
01:02It says another old fart made a big mistake.
01:04It does.
01:06Yes.
01:06Hillsborough County spokesperson says a customer hit the gas instead of the brake.
01:12Another old fart made a big mistake.
01:15Hit the gas instead of the brake.
01:18Another old fart makes a big mistake.
01:21I like it.
01:22Print it.
01:23Anyway, luckily, nobody was seriously injured, but there were some people that were transported.
01:28The driver didn't want to be transported.
01:30Do we have an age on the driver?
01:31Hey, I'm fine.
01:32Oh, we do.
01:33102, 102 years old, driving a spiffy Chevy Astrovan.
01:38This is actually the perfect van for elderly people, because if they die, you just leave
01:41their body right in the back of the van.
01:42I don't have an age.
01:43I don't know if the driver was 102.
01:45But luckily, there were people sitting at the window table that had just cleared.
01:50There were people sitting right at the table at the window where the van made entry and
01:55smashed into the restaurant.
01:57Oh, my God.
01:58And they had gotten up just a few minutes earlier.
02:00Thank God they're fine.
02:01Yeah, this could have been a whole different story here.
02:03All right, so, Fester, you have some new jingle lyric ideas, because what we've typically
02:09done with Hit the Gas Instead of the Bragg, Another Old Fart, we've got the instrumental
02:13version, and we will sometimes write lyrics and come up with some custom versions to fit
02:19that particular story.
02:21All right, so, Fester, you want to go first, right?
02:23How many do you have?
02:24I have a couple of them.
02:25I have a couple of them.
02:25We can bounce around, though.
02:27I know Froggy's loaded as well.
02:28All right, here we go.
02:28I don't have one.
02:29All right.
02:29I can't think of nothing.
02:31All right, Fester, first to go.
02:33All right, here we go, and...
02:36They went to first watch for bacon and eggs, ended up with two broken legs.
02:43You were a little early on me.
02:44Why don't you wait for the music to come in?
02:45Yeah, you were a little early on the uptake there.
02:47I'm a writer, not a singer.
02:48That was actually pretty funny.
02:49Well, you've got to do it again.
02:50I wasn't paying attention.
02:51All right, one more time, and try to get it on time musically.
02:54All right, here we go.
02:55All right, go.
02:56They went to first watch for bacon and eggs.
02:59They ended up with two broken legs.
03:02Yeah, I like it.
03:04A little better.
03:04I mean, I know the injuries weren't that severe, but broken legs and eggs, how could I resist?
03:08You have a second one?
03:09All right.
03:10Go ahead.
03:10You ready?
03:11And...
03:12They hit the gas instead of brakes.
03:15First watch, make some great pancakes.
03:18Oh, that's not bad.
03:21That's not bad.
03:21Anybody else?
03:22Anybody else?
03:22And Roxanne, you have one?
03:23I have two.
03:24Oh, you have two?
03:24All right, here we go.
03:26Roxanne.
03:27Town down on omelets as fast as you can.
03:30Crashing through the door comes a big white van.
03:33Is it white?
03:34That's not bad.
03:35Not bad at all.
03:36Topping down on omelets as fast as you can.
03:37Why wouldn't you try to sing?
03:39Do you get a little affected sounding?
03:41Yeah, come on.
03:42Because I don't have a good singing voice.
03:43I do, however.
03:45I'll try to sing this next one, but I don't have a good singing voice.
03:48You ready?
03:49Yes.
03:50Like, when you speak, you're not affected sounding, but when you try to sing, I've noticed
03:54that it's like...
03:55Oh, my God.
03:56Because I can't sing.
03:57Oh, my God.
03:57I just saw her next one.
03:58All right.
03:59It could be the winner.
04:00All right.
04:00Here we go.
04:01And...
04:02First watch has great breakfast.
04:04It's true.
04:05But please remember, it's not a drive-thru.
04:10Rocks.
04:10Pretty good.
04:11Good job.
04:11Proud of you.
04:12That's great.
04:12Ever heard of actually doing it on the music, people?
04:16No.
04:17We're not scribbling.
04:18I'm tone deaf.
04:19Roxanne was a little early.
04:21You were a half a beat early.
04:23Let me bring Michelle on, because Michelle has always loved this particular restaurant.
04:28Hey, Michelle, locally, what restaurant have you always taken the kids to for waffles and pancakes?
04:34And one of your favorite places, historically, is...
04:39First watch?
04:40Yes.
04:41That is correct.
04:42And you're probably sleeping.
04:44But last segment, we told a story about some elderly driver smashed a van right through first watch.
04:50The one up on Fowler.
04:51Oh, no.
04:52And luckily, nobody was seriously hurt, but Fester...
04:58You know, I don't want to tell this story now, because I think you're trying to put me together.
05:02You're really tainting the audience on this.
05:05Instead of like, let's hear the facts.
05:06No, no.
05:07So Fester says to me...
05:09You've rendered your opinion before I tell the story.
05:11You're tainting the audience.
05:12You're tainting the jury pool.
05:12You've given me the facts, and yeah, this is bad.
05:16There's no tainting.
05:17You did this.
05:18You did this, and this...
05:20Then you admitted to us just now.
05:21Just what I thought that Fester couldn't be any worse of a human being, you surprised me again.
05:26How many years ago was this, by the way?
05:28It's got to be 10 years ago.
05:2910 years ago.
05:30But listen, I think this is like a two on the level of bad, and you're painting it like it's a nine and a half.
05:35MJ, can you think about this for a second?
05:36It could affect future things for Fester.
05:41Events.
05:42Listen, guess what?
05:44What is the old adage?
05:45If you don't want to get arrested, don't do illegal things.
05:49Is that the old adage?
05:50I've never heard that one.
05:51It's something like that.
05:52It's a little wordy is what that adage is.
05:54Can't stand the heat.
05:55I heard that one.
05:56One of my favorite Tampa Bay events, and I haven't been to it in a couple of years, but it's always...
06:00I am appalled.
06:01Folks, I'm going to tell you right now...
06:03Which you're going to be banned from right now on.
06:04I do not condone this behavior.
06:06I do not condone this behavior.
06:09This is hideous behavior, and Fester, you're a terrible person.
06:13All right, go ahead.
06:13Let me tell you how many people died while this.
06:16And meanwhile, Michelle's on the phone, and Michelle's like, oh my God, this involves first watch?
06:23What could this possibly be?
06:24Michelle, do you have any idea where this is headed?
06:27No idea.
06:28All right, go.
06:28Michelle, let me first tell you how many children got injured.
06:30None.
06:31How many people died?
06:32None.
06:32How many dogs were hurt?
06:34None.
06:34Okay?
06:34So it's not that bad.
06:35All right.
06:36So we're working Zoo Fari.
06:37Remember Zoo Fari?
06:38Oh, the best of times.
06:40At Zoo Tampa, the old Lowry Park Zoo.
06:42The old Lowry Park Zoo, Zoo Fari.
06:43So you were at a promotion at Zoo Fari.
06:46One of my favorite nights of the year.
06:47They have all the restaurants there.
06:50And being a mediocre, low-level local celebrity, I guess, they asked me to be one of the judges
06:56of some of the food vendors as to who was the best food vendor in this segment.
07:00Is that why they asked you?
07:01They asked me.
07:03And I get breakfast foods.
07:04Let's find the portly guy.
07:07He's got to know about food.
07:09They're right.
07:10Froggy was one.
07:10A couple.
07:11It was like...
07:11I did dessert.
07:12I get breakfast foods.
07:14Right.
07:14And I go to First Watch and I go to the other places and I kind of circle back and I have
07:17my clipboard and I'm taking notes.
07:19And the manager of First Watch comes out with like a four-inch stack of free breakfast coupons.
07:26And he's like, it sure would be nice if First Watch won this award.
07:31And he just kind of pushed it to me.
07:34And I kind of reached my hand up and took him and I go, congratulations.
07:40And I turn around and I walked away and I never saw the guy again.
07:43That's like the opposite of if somebody's angry at you and threatening you, you know, that's a nice house.
07:49It sure would be a bad, bad thing if something happened.
07:52Or like if a mobster's hitting you up for protection money for your business, well, that's a really nice story you have there.
08:00It'd be really, really sad if something happened to it.
08:03Completely opposite.
08:04You're right.
08:04Totally opposite.
08:05Yes.
08:05Totally different.
08:06It'd be really nice if First Watch won the breakfast category.
08:10What was it?
08:11It was like, MJ, right here.
08:12I just looked it up.
08:132010 Zufari category winner breakfast.
08:17First Watch.
08:18I told you guys.
08:20I looked it up.
08:21Oh my.
08:21Hey, Michelle.
08:23They have tasty pancakes, chocolate chocolate chip muffins.
08:26Well, listen.
08:26Everything's good.
08:27The bottom line is the guy didn't need to bribe you.
08:32First Watch is great.
08:34Fester, you took the bribe?
08:36He would have won anyway.
08:38That's what I was thinking.
08:39He would have won anyway.
08:41It's so good, you are still going to vote for him.
08:42But what's a four-inch stack?
08:43500 of them?
08:45I've used them for years.
08:46I think I still have a couple to have.
08:47Fester's still using them.
08:49Fester's going on these coupons to breakfast on Saturday morning.
08:51The coupons are so old now, they're starting to fray.
08:54But I'm like, here you go.
08:55Was there an expiration date on these things?
08:57No expiration date.
08:58No expiration.
08:58Oh my God.
08:59Oh yeah.
08:59That was great.
09:00We were there so much, they didn't even have to ask us what our order was.
09:03Yeah.
09:04That's great.
09:04Yeah, really.
09:05Yeah, the South Tampa one on Henderson.
09:07The one on Fletcher, the one that the van plowed into.
09:10I've been to that one 20 times, man.
09:11I love that store.
09:12Fester, Fester, Fester.
09:13Terrible.
09:14All right, Michelle.
09:15I'm just, just when Fester can't surprise me anymore with some kind of underhanded lowbrow
09:20thing, now we find out he took a bribe for a food contest that they probably would have
09:25won anyway.
09:26It wasn't a bribe like, you know, two or three free breakfast.
09:28It was like a hundred free breakfast.
09:30Really nice if we happen to win this category.
09:33Sure would be nice if we won.
09:34You know, because Zufari at the zoo, that really will make or break your operation.
09:40Real prestigious award.
09:42All right, Michelle, can you think of anything else that could lower our opinion of Fester?
09:48Not off the top of my head.
09:50Hey, Michelle, do you want to go to breakfast this week?
09:52My treat.
09:53Absolutely.
09:54Bring me those coupons.
09:54I got coupons.