Therapy Thursday: The Boyfriends Mad Because She Stayed Out all Night And Had Late Night Text
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00:00Therapy Thursday is getting popping right now.
00:02It is 888-429-0941.
00:05If you got a question, you can get Dr. Davi.
00:08You can get Meredith M.D.
00:09You can get Orlando B.G.Y.N.
00:12We give advice.
00:13We are not professionals because we didn't pay that tuition.
00:17But we can fake it on the radio.
00:19All right, so if you got a question or any kind that you want to talk it out,
00:24we can work it out.
00:25All right, Therapy Thursday is on.
00:27Let's see what we got.
00:27It's tough to give therapy when you're the one that needs counseling.
00:31You know what, though?
00:32Honestly, I mean, you know, somebody just texted and they were like,
00:36you know, how are y'all going to give therapy?
00:38And it's like, you know what?
00:39Honestly, you can talk it out.
00:43We are, us sitting in here quiet was harder than anything because we talk.
00:48Yeah.
00:48Yeah.
00:49And as soon as we started to talk, everybody got emotional.
00:52Yeah.
00:53You know, so talking does help.
00:55They always talk about mental health and stuff like that.
00:57And swallowing it, honestly, I mean, I just, my man, Mike Perry, just hit me.
01:02And I said, dude, I just blubbered on the air for 10 minutes.
01:05I hate when that happens.
01:06And he said, dude, it was beautiful.
01:09You know, he said, I heard it all.
01:10Yeah.
01:11And, you know, there's a picture that I'm posting up now, me and G and Mike.
01:16Glenn had one of those old school work ethics.
01:18Like, he worked harder than anybody.
01:20And he was the guy that you had to tell him to go home because he would pull an all-nighter.
01:24Go to bed.
01:25So, I truly know that he would want us to keep working.
01:29Yeah.
01:29Keep it moving.
01:30No, he would.
01:31And not make it about him.
01:32I mean, he absolutely would.
01:33He, you know, you had to, like, make him take stuff.
01:36Yeah.
01:37You know, like, after the toy drive tower, I would put in a card and put, like, a gift certificate for him and Laura to go to eat.
01:44Have dinner because I'm like, yo, you spent three weeks of your life with me.
01:48Here, yeah.
01:48And I'm like, at least go have a dinner or something.
01:50And I'd have to have my daughter go give it to him while I was getting in the car.
01:54Because he wouldn't accept it.
01:55Because he wouldn't accept it for me.
01:56And he was like, you tell your daddy.
01:58And he, like, punched my daughter and said, you gonna punch me.
02:02So, my daughter comes and punches me.
02:03I'm like, what's that for?
02:04He's like, because Double G said, hit you back because you know you're not supposed to do that.
02:08You know, so he was real.
02:10Can I just tell a really quick Glenn story while we're on the subject?
02:13Absolutely.
02:13Please.
02:13I credit him for saving my job when I was on the street.
02:20Yeah.
02:20I was at a QIK event.
02:23I was working for the country station, which I had no business doing.
02:28And it was at the fairgrounds.
02:30And they let me drive this, like, mule.
02:32It's like a souped-up golf cart.
02:35And I hit somebody's car, a listener.
02:38I hit their car.
02:39At a remote.
02:39At a remote.
02:40And I took out their tent.
02:42And, yeah, it was terrible.
02:44It wasn't just an easy thing.
02:46No, no.
02:46No, Bobby was rocking right there.
02:47Yeah.
02:47I scratched the whole side of their car.
02:50I broke their tent.
02:52And I'm like, yo, today is the day that I need to go look for a new job.
02:56Like, I'm getting fired today.
02:58And Glenn was there.
03:00And he was a former police officer.
03:02So he knew the cop.
03:04He helped with the police report.
03:06He calmed down the people whose car I hit.
03:08He talked to the guy who was in charge of, like, the fleet manager.
03:11All this was not his job.
03:13None of this was his responsibility.
03:15But for what he felt his responsibility was to calm me down and to be like, yo.
03:21I was, like, 22, 23.
03:22And he was like, bro, you're going to be okay.
03:25You're not going to get fired.
03:27You're like, my life is over.
03:29You're probably going to have to redo your driving test.
03:31But, like, life goes on.
03:34And, like, from that moment, I was like, okay, man, that guy's got my back.
03:38Yeah.
03:38He had it.
03:39Yeah, he did.
03:40He had everybody's back.
03:42And he knew every officer out there for real.
03:44There are a lot of people who are definitely flying flags at half-mast this morning because G is gone.
03:52So, yeah, so we're going to hustle through.
03:55We got therapy Thursday.
03:56We got some questions and stuff.
03:58So we'll get those things knocked out.
04:00This one says, I'm 32 years old.
04:02I'm pregnant with my third kid.
04:05It's due in September.
04:05My mother recently became engaged and is getting married in November.
04:09We aren't close and haven't been close for years.
04:12She asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
04:15My main concerns are, one, she has not been there for me or tried to pursue a relationship in years now, nor have I.
04:22And, number two, with a newborn and two toddlers being in school part-time, I don't know if I want to commit my time to planning, throwing a shower, and a bachelorette party.
04:33That's a lot of extra work.
04:34That's an opening, yeah.
04:35I mean, listen, you have family and your own health to take care of at the same time.
04:41I mean, it sounds like it's too much.
04:42And even though you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your mother, you got to be honest.
04:46And you got to be like, listen, A, B, C, D, this is not going to work out.
04:50I wouldn't say, and by the way, our relationship sucks.
04:53So I don't want to be a part of, you know, planning any of your stuff for your wedding.
04:57Just say you're not going to be there for her as much as you would like.
05:01And blame it on how busy you are because you're not lying.
05:04You got a lot of stuff going on right now.
05:06And say, is there anything else, like a different role I can take?
05:09There is an opportunity for you.
05:12I mean, we'll all give you the session.
05:15There's an opportunity for you to better the relationship, though.
05:19Because, you know, you said y'all haven't had a relationship.
05:22Well, you got an opportunity now.
05:24Nothing in front of you but opportunity.
05:26And especially as everybody is reeling over this, it's like, yo, take your opportunities where you can to fix what you can fix.
05:34There's no need to let it go even further if she ain't never been there for you and now you have an opportunity.
05:39This is an olive branch.
05:40Right, right, right.
05:41She's offering it to you now.
05:43Don't just take it and then become the mule that helps all of everything for the wedding.
05:47Like, you know, like it has a cost.
05:51Don't take too much on that you can't handle.
05:53Definitely help.
05:54But be involved.
05:55Right, exactly.
05:55But you don't want to screw up anything at the same time.
05:58If you can't do the job, then take a lesser role but be involved because, you know what, oh, that's a good point.
06:02You know, you can mend a relationship with your mother and you may be happy you did that years later.
06:08Yeah, exactly.
06:09All right, let's see here.
06:10We got text and calls coming in.
06:12Davi is grabbing one phone line right there.
06:16Let's see.
06:16This said, I need all docs.
06:19Okay.
06:19I've been cheated on twice by two separate boyfriends.
06:24So I'm starting to think it's them and partly me.
06:28I never wanted to be the what you're doing, where you at, girl.
06:33But what's a good balance between being over getting cheated on and being overbearing to a man?
06:41I've been through this personally.
06:44I've been cheated on once or twice in my life by different boyfriends.
06:48And honestly, you might screw up the next relationship you have because you're hurt and you don't know how to handle it correctly.
06:56And each relationship, even though you've been hurt, you have to separate it.
07:01That person might not necessarily treat you as badly as you will or deceive you.
07:06You have to start a new relationship, if you want to, with fresh eyes.
07:13At the same time, maybe you should take a break from dating.
07:15Maybe you should reassess yourself and just enjoy who you are.
07:18Because trust me, once you get married and have kids, you know, there's really no going back after that.
07:23You might be too gullible.
07:25If you keep getting cheated on, maybe you're leaving an open lane.
07:29It might also be where you're picking guys.
07:31That's very true.
07:32I'm saying if you only got a two-guy limit and both of them cheated on you, you might be setting it up where it's okay to cheat.
07:38Like, you know, like maybe you've given a little bit too much leeway.
07:41That's what I was saying.
07:41Maybe you should take a break and reassess what's important to you.
07:45Some women say make a list of, like, the guy that you want.
07:48I'm not a big believer in that.
07:49But you should know who you want to be with in the future.
07:52If you're looking down the line to get married, really look at yourself and what you want and what would be better for you in the future.
07:58Because maybe you're pickers off.
07:59She didn't date two dudes and got cheated on.
08:00Well, she ain't getting married.
08:01She's trying to find somebody to be faithful.
08:04Yeah, that's a big deal, though.
08:05And maybe that's hard these days to find.
08:07You might just be making it too easy for them.
08:10Like, maybe you want to get a little crazier.
08:12What?
08:12Maybe you will do.
08:13Okay, girl cheated and his advice is to get a little crazier on the next dude.
08:17Maybe you open it up a little too much.
08:19You just have to treat each individual relationship as that and what it is.
08:24No, he'd get crazier, though.
08:26Well, my advice is just like you wouldn't want your next relationship, that guy, to carry the baggage from his last girlfriend and put that onto you.
08:35You have to understand that it's the same way.
08:38If you play two championships and lose two championships, that third championship is going to be on your brain.
08:43So I'm just saying, the next person you date is going to be looking at you like, hey, so why are you looking through my phone?
08:48Because I got cheated on twice.
08:50I'm sorry.
08:51Let's see.
08:51You got a phone question in here for Dr. Davi from Patrice.
08:55How you doing this morning?
08:57I'm fine.
08:58All right, Patrice.
08:59Hello, everybody.
09:00Hey there.
09:01You got Dr. Davi.
09:02What's your question?
09:02Okay, me and my boyfriend have been dating for like two years, and just recently, like in February, he went through my phone,
09:12seen a text message from a guy that was nothing.
09:17We was out.
09:18I was trying to figure out how much it cost to get in a club, which on my end, it was, it wasn't intentional or whatever.
09:24But his point was, somebody else got my number, and I guess I broke his trust, but he's been acting like sideways, like I've been staying out till 6 o'clock in the morning and like really like giving me the cold shoulder sometimes.
09:43But then he'll act like he's all into me.
09:47You know, sometimes I don't even want, I wonder if we're roommates or we're together.
09:52So I'm trying to figure out if I should keep trying or if I just, like, broke his trust because somebody got my number, even though it wasn't nothing.
10:05Like, he didn't find any, you know, disrespectful messages, but the only thing he asked me was what was my name, and I asked him how much it cost to get in the club.
10:16That was it, and we're just tripping over that.
10:18Wait, wait, wait, wait, Dr. Davi, before you jump on in, I just want to make sure we get clarity, though.
10:23How did the dude get your number?
10:26We was walking out of the club in E-Boy, and I'm like, what at the hour party at?
10:32Dude was like, you want the address?
10:35Call my phone, I'll send you the address, because I'm not from here.
10:39Okay, all right, I just wanted to make sure we got that clarity out there on Dr. Davi Gibber.
10:44Patrice, can you admit that you were wrong for giving some dude your number at 3 a.m. looking for an after party?
10:51Can we admit that?
10:53Right, I admit that.
10:54I told him he wasn't wrong for feeling the type of way that he was, but his behavior is not acceptable.
11:01And I understand that.
11:02A lot of times, somebody who is not necessarily, okay, sometimes people will pick an issue that may be big, may be small,
11:13and blow it up to try to kind of deflect attention from everything else that they're going to do.
11:20I think he's using, even though you were wrong, but that doesn't justify him staying out until 6 o'clock in the morning and giving you the cold shoulder.
11:32It feels like his reaction kind of outweighs what you did.
11:37I think you definitely need to sit him down, have a conversation, admit you were at fault and you shouldn't have done that.
11:46However, two wrongs don't make a right.
11:48You have to call him out on his behavior.
11:50And if he can't accept that he's doing wrong and just always just trying to put it back, but you gave that guy your number, but you gave that guy your number, this guy might not be for you.
12:01If he can admit that he's doing wrong and you're doing wrong or did something that was inappropriate, then I think you guys can get past it, move forward, and work on gaining that trust back.
12:13But if he's just going to keep holding this over your head and any time he does something wrong, he brings that back up, he might not be for you, sis.
12:22I hit my, wait, I hit my grandmama in my ear.
12:25What's she saying?
12:25She's saying ain't nothing open after 6 a.m., but the jail and legs.
12:30But that's what I tell him, that's disrespectful.
12:34You don't come home at 6 o'clock.
12:36But I mean, that's a different conversation y'all got to have.
12:39That's a different conversation.
12:40You got to fall on the sword about what you did and then say, but now separately.
12:44But that was in February, though.
12:45Like, how long is he going to make me suffer?
12:47Dang, that was a long time ago.
12:48I'm just saying.
12:48It wasn't that long ago.
12:49Yeah, it wasn't that long ago.
12:50It wasn't that long ago.
12:51Yeah, some dude slid on your text.
12:53And if I may ask, what time did you come home that night?
12:55Did you go to an after party?
12:56Uh-oh.
12:57No, I went to the after party, but they was at capacity, so we did come home.
13:01But you came home at like 4 o'clock in the morning.
13:02So you was like 4?
13:04Like 4, yeah.
13:06And he was like 6.
13:08Come on now.
13:09Come on now.
13:10Now we talking about two hours?
13:13I don't go out often.
13:15So it's like...
13:15That's all right.
13:16I get that.
13:17But if you come home at 5 o'clock in the morning with some random dude's number, I got a lot of questions.
13:24All right, sweetie.
13:25Wow.
13:25Okay.
13:26All right.
13:26Okay.
13:27I feel a little tight about that, apparently.
13:29I guess so.
13:30Let's see.
13:30We got one more we can fit in.
13:32Yes.
13:33Go ahead.
13:33Okay, after 813, it says,
13:34This is for any of the doctors.
13:36I have only been single for six months now, and me and my boyfriend...
13:39Oh, okay.
13:40I have only been single for about six months now, and me and my boyfriend of eight years broke up due to me breaking up with him because he is disloyal and a liar and insecure.
13:53Now I am super insecure, and I don't know how to even be single.
13:57I still see him occasionally, and I don't know how to stop seeing him.
14:01I do give him another chance, but I also want to cut him off completely.
14:07I don't know what to do because we were together for so long, and I'm lost.
14:10I'm very sad.
14:11I need your help.
14:12By the way, side note, punctuation is so important.
14:14We're reading these lives.
14:16A big run-on sentence.
14:18One long sentence.
14:19You know what?
14:20I will say you're confused because you've got to figure out.
14:24Yeah.
14:25But you're not, though.
14:26You're really caught up in the whole habit.
14:28You know what I'm saying?
14:29It sounds like you're caught up in the habit.
14:31You're like, I'm dealing with him, but I'm not.
14:33How do you break an eight-year habit?
14:34You're straddling the fence.
14:36You've got to either tear the Band-Aid off or put it on.
14:38You can't be like, just...
14:40Pick a side.
14:41Pick a side.
14:41If you want to be with him, you're obviously going to keep seeing him.
14:44Stop seeing him.
14:45Or if you're just hooking up, then you're not going to...
14:48That space...
14:49I remember there was like, you know, I think the star goddess should always say that nature
14:53loves a vacuum.
14:54You've got to remove somebody before you can put somebody in there.
14:57Ain't nobody going to come...
14:58It's like a parking space.
14:59He's in that parking space.
15:00You can't find nobody else until you move it out of the way.
15:03So, in essence, you've got to stop what you're doing.
15:06Yeah, you're not thinking about anybody else but him.
15:08Because you're about to ruin.
15:08Right.
15:08Exactly.
15:09You can't move on if you're just thinking about him and seeing him.
15:11Okay, you want to coin that?
15:12I was about to wrap.
15:13You know, like, I'm going to hit him with the Humpty.
15:15Okay, go ahead.
15:16All right, anyway, I just think you're getting ready to ruin things.
15:18Okay.
15:19So, get it right.
15:20All right, that's a wrap.
15:22Yeah, I think so.
15:22On Therapy Thursday.
15:23Let's go.