Murphy Brown Season 6 Episode 4 Political Correctness
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00:00In the breakup of the Soviet Union, Colin Powell retires, leaving a different world and a different military than the one he entered 35 years ago.
00:09Thank you, Peter.
00:10Interesting to note that an institution considered so conservative has, in fact, undergone significant changes.
00:17When we return...
00:17That's really true, Jim.
00:18Take a look at the Air Force. They don't have women in combat positions.
00:22Yes, isn't that remarkable?
00:24When we return...
00:25When we were young, what was your image of a pilot?
00:27John Wayne or Jimmy Stewart, right?
00:30Right, Frank?
00:32I guess.
00:34Exactly.
00:35Two weeks ago at Wiesbaden, I rode in an F-15 flown by a pilot named Lisa.
00:40And I'm here to tell you that girl can handle a plane as well as any man in her squadron.
00:44Wonderful.
00:45Wouldn't we...
00:46You think the Air Force has a 12-year-old pilot, or isn't that what you meant when you said girl?
00:55Whoops. Old habits.
00:56No problem.
00:58It's just that I'm sure Lisa is at least a lieutenant, and calling her a girl has a certain demeaning quality.
01:04It's not up there with suggesting women wear bales or walk three feet behind, but all things considered, it's probably not the best way to go.
01:11I stand politically corrected.
01:13How about in the future I only use the word girl to refer to Girl Scouts?
01:17Good idea. Although, now that I think about it, the Air Force could use a few Girl Scouts, considering the way they become heat-seeking missiles during cooking season.
01:25Oh, is it my turn again?
01:35And we're clear.
01:36What was that?
01:37What happened?
01:39Would you please tell me what just happened?
01:40Hey, hey, hey, take it easy.
01:42The show felt a little stiff.
01:43I just thought a little back and forth might loosen things up.
01:45Oh, and just, where is the time for this back and forth supposed to come from, hmm?
01:50Someone's stories, perhaps?
01:52Someone whose name starts with a C, ends with a Y, has an orc in the middle?
01:58Am I supposed to cover the remarkable career of the Olsen twins in under nine minutes?
02:03Corky, please.
02:04That's four and a half minutes of Pete's.
02:06Corky.
02:07Peter, I know this is new for you, but we have a format here.
02:11When I do this, it means you made banquet.
02:13But I wasn't doing this.
02:15I was doing this.
02:16Which every reporter knows means wrap it up.
02:19Unless, of course, you thought I was auditioning to become a backup singer for Tina Turner.
02:23You're not funny!
02:25You were just as bad as he was!
02:27Now, everybody stick to the format.
02:29I want no more surprises, is that clear?
02:32Yeah.
02:35Okay, Jim, I'm sorry.
02:37If I'd known you weren't comfortable with the banter thing, I never would have done it.
02:40I'll have you know I was bantering with John Cameron Swayze when you were still wearing
02:44feety pajamas watching Ding Dong School.
02:47And I'll be bantering one after five of your last battlefield story with your carefully styled
02:53thank you for joining us tonight.
02:56A reminder that next week, FYI, comes to you from a town hall meeting in Port Jefferson,
03:00Virginia, one of a number of American cities facing hardship as a result of Defense Department
03:05and Cutbacks.
03:07Say, Peter, do you happen to know the nickname of Virginia?
03:13The mother of presidents?
03:16Do you know the state bird?
03:19No.
03:21The cardinal.
03:22Interesting, isn't it?
03:24This has been another edition of FYI.
03:26Good night.
03:27Morning, guys.
03:38What's up?
03:39Jim's getting the ratings for last night's show.
03:41Mm-hmm.
03:42I see.
03:44Let's hear it.
03:45We were up again.
03:46Oh, man!
03:46Oh!
03:48For the three weeks Peter's been on the show, the ratings have gone up two and a half points.
03:52You know, there could be other reasons the ratings have gone up.
03:55I mean, we've done a lot of great stories lately.
03:58Jim's commentaries have been better than ever.
04:02They repainted the set.
04:04Oh, what's the use?
04:05Face it.
04:06People love Peter.
04:09If you know you need your pass card to get into the parking garage,
04:12you should have it ready as a courtesy to those of us forced to wait behind you at the gate.
04:16I was pulling it out of my pocket.
04:18You couldn't wait two seconds without ramming me with your card?
04:20I barely touched you.
04:22Then why did my airbag inflate?
04:26It's probably defective.
04:28You might want to have a check when you get that taillight fixed.
04:33How'd we do last night?
04:34You don't want to know.
04:35Damn it.
04:36Oh, there they are.
04:41The people all America watches and talks about.
04:45Look at this.
04:46Faxes, phone messages, telegrams from hundreds of people so moved by last night's show,
04:53they were actually compelled to tell us.
04:55Why don't we go into Murphy's office and have a look at them?
04:57Come on.
04:58Peter, join us.
05:00Since your name pops up here quite often.
05:01Really?
05:02Good job.
05:03So, let's take a random look at what our public has to say, shall we?
05:10We were not amused by Mr. Hunt's condescending use of the term girl.
05:17Signed the National Organization of Women.
05:19Wait a minute.
05:19That's negative.
05:20Very good, Frank.
05:21So is this deeply offended League of Women Voters.
05:2720 years behind the times.
05:30Women's Rights Coalition.
05:31And then there's one from Roseanne Arnold.
05:33I can't read in public, but it was accompanied by a lovely Polaroid.
05:39Roseanne's got way too much time on her hands.
05:43Now, Peter, you did offend a substantial portion of our audience,
05:47and I think you have to take responsibility for that.
05:50I can only hope that you'll choose your words more carefully in the future.
05:54Wonderful advice, Murphy.
05:56Maybe you should take a little yourself.
05:58What?
05:59My family's worn veils for thousands of years, and we're proud of it.
06:04Signed, Mrs. Ahmed Aziz.
06:07If you were my wife, I'd make you walk ten steps behind.
06:12Robert Yamada.
06:13Thanks for taking the heat off.
06:15Salman Rushdie.
06:20You've got to be kidding me.
06:21Ah, the voice of the people in action.
06:23And so many voices, too.
06:25Oh, come on.
06:26This isn't the same thing at all.
06:27Not even close.
06:28Why not?
06:32I am not even going to dignify that with an answer, and I don't think you should either, Murph.
06:36No, no, no, I'd be happy to answer it.
06:38It's not the same thing, because...
06:40Because I made an innocent comment based on a misunderstanding of cultures other than our own,
06:47whereas you showed blatant insensitivity to people right here in our own society.
06:51Yes.
06:52Then how do you explain these?
06:54Who are those from?
06:55The Girl Scouts of America.
06:56You're on your own.
06:56This is crazy.
07:00What did I say?
07:01I believe you compared those sweet little girls to heat-seeking missiles, and you thought
07:05you could get away with it.
07:06It was a joke.
07:07Where's their sense of humor?
07:09You know, I have never trusted this organization.
07:11Think about it.
07:12A bunch of impressionable young children wearing paramilitary uniforms, reciting oaths of learning
07:17how to start fires.
07:19Does anybody else have a bad feeling about this?
07:22Oh, too bad the show ended before you could share that theory with America.
07:31The fact is, a lot of people were upset by last night's comments, which has the network
07:36brass upset, which is why we are going to issue an on-air apology and attend a seminar
07:42on cultural sensitivity.
07:44Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
07:45Look, look, look.
07:47These are sensitive times.
07:49There have been several cases of misunderstood racial and ethnic remarks on television lately,
07:53and they just want to make sure they send the message that they're taking care of it.
07:56How?
07:56By forcing us to attend a lecture on political correctness?
08:00Cultural sensitivity.
08:01Seven network vice presidents spent a lot of time coming up with that title, and they
08:04want us to use it.
08:06I expect all of you to attend.
08:08Miles, I'm not going to do this.
08:10I don't have time for it, okay?
08:11So why don't you go take really good notes, and I'll read them right after I finish reading
08:15The Bridges of Madison County.
08:17Five minutes, Peter.
08:19I don't think you understand how things work around here.
08:22If Miles says we do something, we do it.
08:25Miles, I'm afraid I'm going to have to miss the seminar because of a doctor's appointment.
08:30I just told you when the seminar is.
08:31I haven't told you when my appointment is.
08:33Stop it.
08:37You are coming, and so are you.
08:41You, too.
08:42You're like acid rain is what you're like.
08:47And we are all just these tender little shoots struggling to survive in the downpour.
08:53Now, we are all going to take that seminar, and we are all going to learn how to be sensitive
08:59and caring.
09:00Or so help me God, I'll kill you both.
09:03Look at this, Stuart.
09:09They're all here and ready to go.
09:12And why wouldn't they be here probably thinking, no reason at all I respond to you.
09:16People, this is Stuart Allen from Network Legal here to walk us through the wonderful world of cultural sensitivity.
09:22A lawyer running a sensitivity seminar, this ought to be good.
09:26Yes, and Joe, that's a very positive attitude, Murphy.
09:29And what I'm sure Stuart will note when he reports back to the network.
09:31Now, since we have a town hall meeting tomorrow night for which we all have a lot of work to do,
09:35I suggest we turn the floor over to Stuart.
09:37Stuart.
09:39Thank you, Miles.
09:40Good evening, everyone.
09:41The network wants me to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules here at FYI to join me tonight.
09:48Cultural sensitivity, an important issue for our time, but what does it mean?
09:54Politically correct.
09:55We're not using that phrase.
09:56Didn't you tell her?
09:59Cultural sensitivity is an awareness that certain words, phrases, and actions can offend certain individuals or groups
10:06within the larger society, leading to unpleasant situations.
10:11He means lawsuits.
10:12Unpleasant situations.
10:13We've prepared a list of guidelines and terminology the network would like you to use whenever appropriate.
10:22Uh, for example, Oriental is no longer correct.
10:27The proper term is Asian.
10:29Hispanic now applies only to people of Spanish descent, whereas people of Mexican descent...
10:34Are Mexican American or Latino?
10:36Look, I know the stuff.
10:37If I use it, I'm probably one of the most politically correct, oops, culturally sensitive people in America.
10:43So, enjoy your seminar.
10:44I'm out of here.
10:45Then why do you mail bash?
10:48What?
10:49You mail bash.
10:51True, I mean, I've only been here a short time, but I've seen you do it, and quite frankly, it's not a pretty sight.
10:56And kind of culturally insensitive, don't you think, Stu?
11:00Nice try, Petey.
11:01I have a great relationship with every man in this office.
11:04My best friend is a man.
11:05I don't mail bash, right, guys?
11:08Tell him.
11:08Go on.
11:11Well, Murph, you do say stuff occasionally.
11:14Stuff?
11:15What's stuff?
11:16You know how men are stupid, childish, how our brains are in our pants.
11:23So, which part isn't true?
11:29You just can't stop, can you?
11:30Oh, come on, Frank, we joke like this all the time.
11:33Yeah, and sometimes you go a little bit too far.
11:36You know, how do you think I feel when you make a joke in front of everybody about how all we're good for is opening jars or changing tires?
11:42I knew this was going to be valuable.
11:44Thank you for sharing that, Frank.
11:46Murphy, why don't you give him a hug?
11:48Why don't you give him a hug?
11:50You men rape, pillage, and burn their way through history.
11:53Then you start crying when somebody makes a joke about how you never would have learned to walk upright if stores hadn't put beer on the top shelf.
12:00Well, there it is.
12:03Because of the sins of the father, the sons must pay.
12:06I have never raped, pillaged, or burned anyone.
12:09But if I open a door for a woman, or if I ask the ladies, force them in front of me to pick up the pace, suddenly I'm Attila the Hun.
12:16I think we're getting a little off the track here.
12:18Oh, really?
12:20Do you know what it's like being 55, male, and white these days?
12:24I'm being blamed for everything from slavery to the destruction of the ozone layer.
12:28Well, damn it, except for releasing a few fluorocarbons during that brief flirtation with the dry look.
12:33I plead in it.
12:34Let's have a hug for Jim.
12:39With all due respect, Jim, it's pretty hard to say that living in this society as a white man, you'd know oppression.
12:45Now, if we're talking about white Jewish men, that's about to think.
12:49We're portrayed as weak, whining, neurotic, helpless in any outdoor situation.
12:53I mean, look at that guy in Northern Exposure.
12:55Is that supposed to be realistic?
12:56Stu, I don't mean to tattle, and as I said, I've only been here a short time, but I have seen make certain comments in this area, too.
13:07When?
13:08Why else did he shiva boy hop along to Silverberg?
13:10Gentel, the kosher chicken boy?
13:13When else?
13:16If it makes you feel any better, I've always thought your people were very bright.
13:21That's why when my family picks a doctor, we always look for that Jewish name.
13:26Oh, there it is.
13:28A little of that bayou wisdom we've come to know and love.
13:31Stu, you may not want to watch this.
13:33She just separated one of the gazelles from a pack.
13:36Oh, come on.
13:37So I tease Corky a little bit.
13:39She knows it's all in fun.
13:40Still hurts.
13:42Possum hunting jokes.
13:44Beverly hillbilly cracks.
13:46You may think it's funny, Murphy, but I don't.
13:48And I doubt if anybody else here does either.
13:51Well, actually...
13:52When did you...
13:53I thought for all of you, what about my pain?
13:59You wouldn't make fun of Japanese-Americans or Chinese-Americans.
14:02You shouldn't make fun of me just because I'm a Louisiana-American.
14:05She's Corky.
14:06It's not like Louisiana's another country.
14:08Have you been there?
14:08Oh, the big dumb man finally said something clever, huh?
14:14Why don't you tell them, Franco?
14:15Oh, please.
14:16I'd like to get out of here at a reasonable hour.
14:19What's the matter?
14:19I thought you guys billed by the minute.
14:22Here they come.
14:22Lawyer jokes.
14:25That is so funny.
14:27You know, we have feelings, too.
14:29We're lawyers, not animals.
14:30Please, let's not offend the animals.
14:32Is that right?
14:33That's right.
14:34The whole country hates lawyers.
14:36Meanwhile, accountants walk the earth like gods.
14:41We're not taking this anymore.
14:42We're not taking it lying down.
14:44We're fighting back.
14:45We're organizing.
14:45We're making our own jokes.
14:48You know how many journalists it takes to screw in a light bulb?
14:52Twelve.
14:53And I'm not telling you why.
14:59Do your own damn seminar.
15:02I'm out of here.
15:04That is, if I don't get lost on my way to the office,
15:06but then, you know, I smell her.
15:13Mind is invaluable.
15:15Feel free to blame the entire fiasco on me.
15:18I'm sure it's my honky fault, too.
15:19Well, I got a possum in the oven.
15:26Then I got to get home and marry my cousin.
15:32Shalom.
15:38Well, wasn't that fun?
15:41You know, I bet if I drive by Embassy Row,
15:44I can insult five or six countries
15:46and still get home early enough
15:47to make a few crank calls to Southeast Asia.
15:50So many cultures, so little time.
15:54Look, I know I gave you a hard time before,
15:55but actually, I agree with you.
15:57People have gotten way too sensitive.
15:59You can't say anything anymore.
16:00I mean, obviously, there are certain words
16:02no one should use,
16:03but if you're gonna jump on every little comment...
16:05Right, especially comments
16:07that any rational person would know
16:08were not meant to be offensive.
16:10Exactly.
16:11Comments like...
16:12Girl.
16:14Wipe that smile off your face.
16:16Good evening, Port Jefferson.
16:22I'm Miles Silverberg,
16:24executive producer of FYI.
16:31Before we get started,
16:32I just wanted to say
16:33how thrilled we are
16:34to be broadcasting from your town,
16:36a town with a rich history of shipbuilding.
16:39I'm especially excited
16:40because as a city boy,
16:41the only high sea I'm familiar with
16:44is a fruit drink.
16:48No.
16:49No, really.
16:50I've always been amazed
16:51by people who work on ships,
16:53since I myself get seasick
16:54on Pirates of the Caribbean.
16:59Hi.
17:01Where are you from?
17:03Here.
17:06Put you on.
17:06And that's good
17:08because it's people like you
17:10we want to hear from.
17:11This show will only be
17:13as good as you make it,
17:14so don't hesitate to speak out
17:16with all the enthusiasm
17:18you've shown so far.
17:20And maybe even a little more.
17:21Thanks.
17:22God bless.
17:23I must be down here
17:32on the south end.
17:33Oh, give it a rest, Corky.
17:35You give it a rest, Mr. Man.
17:36Would you like my seat, Corky?
17:38Yes, I would.
17:39Well, you're not getting it.
17:40I wouldn't want to be
17:40labeled a gentleman.
17:42I just love field trips,
17:43don't you?
17:45Okay, people.
17:46After Jim's intro,
17:47we go to Murphy
17:48reading the apology
17:49for last week's show.
17:50Now, let's have a good one.
17:51And for God's sakes,
17:52watch what you say tonight.
17:55In five, four, three, two.
18:00Good evening,
18:01and welcome to a special edition
18:03of FYI,
18:04coming to you live
18:05from a town hall meeting
18:06in Port Jefferson, Virginia,
18:08a community struggling
18:09with the economic realities
18:11of the 90s.
18:12But first, Murphy Brown
18:13with a brief statement
18:14concerning last week's show.
18:16Thank you, Jim.
18:18We at FYI would like to apologize
18:20for comments made
18:21last week
18:22which were construed
18:22as offensive
18:23by some members
18:24of our audience.
18:26Thank you, Murphy.
18:26But something more
18:27needs to be said here.
18:28Oh, God,
18:28I'm worth interviewing.
18:30Most of us don't want
18:31to hurt or demean anyone,
18:33but the reality is
18:34a society based
18:36on free speech
18:37is a society
18:38in which people
18:38are bound to get offended.
18:40So what do we do?
18:41Do we stop talking
18:42to one another?
18:42Or maybe we just
18:43should stand up
18:44and announce to the world
18:45what each of us
18:46personally finds offensive.
18:48Clearly...
18:48Okay, I'll start.
18:50I don't like the term black.
18:52I prefer African-American.
18:54Oh, thank you, sir,
18:55but I was speaking metaphorically.
18:56Where did all of this
18:57African-American stuff
18:58come from?
18:59I am not from Africa.
19:00They'll call me black
19:01and proud of it.
19:02No, you see,
19:03there's 250 million of us,
19:05so all of it...
19:06I'm a Native American,
19:07and I'll tell you
19:08what offends me.
19:09To Cleveland Indians,
19:11the Washington Redskins,
19:12the Atlanta Braves,
19:14why don't you just call
19:15them the Atlanta Italians?
19:16That way,
19:17instead of a tomahawk chop,
19:19y'all can flip
19:19a pizza in the air.
19:23Yes, well,
19:23that's an interesting
19:24point of view,
19:25but my point is
19:26that it's a complex...
19:26Hey, hey, hey,
19:27I'm an Italian-American,
19:28and I was offended
19:29by what that guy just said.
19:31Offended by people
19:32who think just because
19:33you're Italian,
19:34you're in the mafia.
19:35Um, sir,
19:37as someone with
19:38a last name Fontana,
19:40I can sympathize
19:41with what you're saying,
19:41but I think the point,
19:42Murphy, is...
19:43Every Italian in the movies
19:44is in the mafia.
19:45Every joke about an Italian
19:46is a mafia joke.
19:47Now, why should Italians
19:48have to put up with that?
19:50When everybody knows
19:51it's those crazy Sicilians
19:53behind the mafia.
19:56Excuse me,
19:57but my family
19:58is Sicilian.
20:00And you know
20:00what I'm talking about.
20:06My turn.
20:07I prefer to be called
20:09a person of size.
20:10Who are you kidding?
20:11We're fat.
20:15250 million people,
20:17and we've only heard
20:18from six.
20:18Now, I'm no math whiz,
20:20but something tells me
20:20we might run into
20:21Letterman's monologue.
20:23You know,
20:23in times like this,
20:27perhaps we should all
20:28remember that our
20:28forefathers in coming
20:30to this great land
20:31also grappled
20:32with free speech.
20:33Yeah, and then
20:34they stole this land
20:35from my forefathers
20:36who had been here
20:37a thousand years
20:38before you.
20:40Sorry.
20:44Finally,
20:45a man apologized.
20:46I'm still waiting
20:47to hear from the man
20:48who used the term
20:48girl.
20:49I think they ought
20:50to throw him
20:50off the air.
20:53All right,
20:54all right,
20:55all right.
20:55Look,
20:56miss,
20:56it wasn't my intent.
20:57There he goes again.
20:58It's not miss,
20:59it's miss.
21:00All right,
21:01we can't all
21:03keep jumping
21:04on every little comment,
21:05especially if it isn't
21:06meant to be offensive.
21:10And any rational
21:10person would know
21:11his use of the word
21:12girl wasn't intended
21:13to be offensive.
21:14I wasn't talking
21:15to you,
21:16I was talking
21:16to him.
21:18And I don't care
21:19what he intended
21:20or what he thought
21:21or what he thought
21:21he intended,
21:22I don't even want
21:23to be called girl.
21:24Okay,
21:25how about
21:26car alarm?
21:29You think that's funny?
21:31Uh,
21:31I'm sorry,
21:32I do.
21:33Funny and a little
21:34accurate.
21:35If Jermaine Greer
21:35is through,
21:36I'm gay
21:38and I have had it
21:38up to here
21:39with all those
21:40hairdresser jokes.
21:41No,
21:41get a flip to you,
21:42girl.
21:43They're fun.
21:44What's not funny
21:45are all these
21:46Polish jokes.
21:47Hey,
21:47you hear about
21:47the Polish gay guy?
21:49Slept with women.
21:56Excuse me!
21:57Hey!
21:58Now,
21:59we're not gonna
22:00get anywhere
22:01if everybody
22:01just focuses
22:02on your differences.
22:04Why don't you
22:04just think about
22:05all of the things
22:06you have in common?
22:07Like what?
22:08Like how you're
22:09all annoying
22:09the hell out of me.
22:10I don't care
22:15what anyone
22:16calls me.
22:17I just want
22:18a job.
22:21Thank you,
22:22sir.
22:22Thank you
22:23for reminding us
22:24that there are
22:24some very important
22:26problems there.
22:26Now,
22:27wouldn't we rather
22:28be discussing those?
22:29Yes,
22:30the woman in the glasses.
22:31Excuse me,
22:31I'm not the woman
22:32in the glasses.
22:33I'm visually challenged.
22:34And I'm not tall
22:35or vertically enhanced.
22:37And I'm not a secretary.
22:39I'm a personal assistant.
22:40At least I was
22:41until I was not fired
22:42but vocationally dislocated.
22:47Everyone,
22:48everyone,
22:49listen to yourselves.
22:51You're acting like children.
22:52I find that common
22:53very insulting.
22:58Everyone,
22:59please!
23:02Just turn to your neighbor
23:03and give him a little hug.
23:04What a night.
23:20I don't know
23:21about you guys,
23:22but when that group
23:22in the wheelchairs
23:23formed a wedge
23:24and went after
23:25the Puerto Ricans
23:26for statehood,
23:26I was looking
23:27for the nearest exit
23:28for you, sir.
23:29Boy,
23:30kick you guys
23:30out of the FYI studio
23:32and you go to pieces.
23:33Tonight was my
23:34kind of show.
23:35Exciting,
23:36spontaneous,
23:37a little dangerous.
23:39I'm gonna go see
23:39if they turned
23:40our limo upside down.
23:42Love this.
23:44More confused
23:45now than ever.
23:46A lot of what people
23:47said offended them
23:48made sense.
23:49But a lot of it
23:50seems silly.
23:52Who decides
23:52where to draw the line?
23:53I will.
23:54The next time
23:55America speaks out,
23:56they can tell it
23:57to Hugh Downs.
23:57This night
24:00wasn't a total loss.
24:01We got to hear
24:01that great
24:02high-sea joke.
24:03I'm telling you,
24:04if Moses had
24:05material like that,
24:05the Pharaoh
24:06wouldn't let
24:06hear people go
24:07a hell of a lot
24:07of scissors.
24:10Yeah,
24:10like I'm gonna
24:11take comedy tips
24:11from a shit zone.
24:14I can't wait
24:15to see the mail
24:16we got on this one.
24:16To celebrate
24:23our 20th anniversary,
24:24we're gonna party
24:25like it's 1985
24:27with a lineup
24:28of hit shows
24:29from the year
24:30Nick at Night began.
24:31It's Nick at Night's
24:3220th anniversary celebration.
24:35Three nights
24:35starting Tuesday,
24:36June 21st
24:37at 10 p.m.