Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about some backlash the new Apple Vision Pro is facing after users discovered it doesn't allow them to watch VR porn. Then, hear from listeners who have been busted watching VR porn on their headsets.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00We're talking yesterday at this time about the new Apple Vision Pro, the $3,500 VR goggles.
00:13Yeah.
00:13Well, huge, huge upset.
00:17Mm-mm.
00:18What happened?
00:19It won't let you watch VR porn.
00:22Oh, no way.
00:24And people are furious.
00:26Oh, that's crazy, because one of the funniest videos I saw was a guy, he was like, hey, I'm doing my review of the VR headsets, and he's looking around the room, and then he's like, I've had this thing on for three straight days, and then he turns to his side table, and it's full of Kleenex and like a lotion bottle.
00:44He's like, I won't take these things off.
00:46And I'm like, that's hilarious because porn.
00:50Apple's much-heralded Vision Pro has left a segment of buyers disappointed after they discovered that the high-priced device will not play any VR porn.
00:59I've got to go back to the Oculus because you can watch it on that.
01:02Yep.
01:03It works.
01:04Have you used those?
01:06I used it one time, and I started when it was light out, and then when I took them off, my place was completely dark because I had no lights on, and I realized, man, this is a bad situation.
01:17Yeah, like you lost some time, huh?
01:20You lost some time.
01:21Went from daylight to dark.
01:23Yeah.
01:23Take those things off.
01:24He basically was living in an old-age home for about three hours virtually.
01:29How did you get them?
01:31Someone gave them to me.
01:32They didn't use them, and their kid didn't like them, so they gave me them.
01:35Oh, okay.
01:36But that's the only thing I've ever used them for, and I've never used them since.
01:39So that's the same thing I have.
01:41I had to check it out, and it wasn't for me.
01:44It was sort of disorienting.
01:45I know not to check it out.
01:46I know not to check it out.
01:48I don't need to be in a fantasy life.
01:50Right.
01:50You know, I'm already enough in a fantasy life.
01:53I don't need to.
01:54I would be in here right now, and I'd have them on, and you guys are like, what are you doing?
01:59I'm like, I'm trying to do the show, but I also have to talk to my virtual girlfriends.
02:03You're lucky your wife didn't come home.
02:05Yeah, it would have been really bad because it was pitch black.
02:08Yeah.
02:08And you and your weird goggles taking care of yourself.
02:11Yeah.
02:11Like, did it take it to another level?
02:15No, for me, it was disorienting.
02:17Yeah, it's so weird, right?
02:19I had these goggles on.
02:20I felt like a total perv, you know?
02:22Yeah.
02:23Yeah.
02:24Like, I have this thing strapped to my face, you know?
02:27And I'm like, oh, boobs.
02:28Yeah.
02:30Oh, boobs in my face.
02:31Those boobs are right here.
02:33Yeah.
02:33I mean, I get that.
02:34To me, it's like putting on the creep stuff, you know?
02:40Like, you get the fleshlight out.
02:42You put the thing over your face.
02:44It's like, are we getting in a gimp suit, you know?
02:47Like, it's like a, it's creepy to me.
02:50Someone said, my wife found me jerking it to VR porn on our couch.
02:54Yikes.
02:55Not a good look, he says.
02:57Nope.
02:58But VR porn is wild.
03:00Definitely don't want to find that.
03:02No.
03:02Women do not want to find that.
03:03No.
03:03No.
03:04Because in the porn.
03:05That's worse than just a guy jerking it off, right?
03:06Yeah, it is.
03:07Living in the porn world.
03:08In the porn world, it never goes that way.
03:11Because I've seen a video where a guy had one on, and then someone walks in the room,
03:16and it's like, oh, and then they start to do stuff to them.
03:20No, it's like, what the hell are you doing?
03:21That is not reality.
03:23That is not reality.
03:24Did you take the trash out?
03:26Yeah, that's it.
03:27You said you'd take the trash out.
03:29How did you have done it?
03:32Oh, God.
03:33Hey.
03:34What is wrong with you?
03:36I'm just watching sports.
03:40God.
03:40I dropped the fleshlight.
03:41You sex maniac?
03:43Yeah.
03:44You sex maniac.
03:45That's me.
03:48That's how it goes.
03:50That's reality.
03:50I know.
03:51That's the funniest thing.
03:52I'm like, oh, I don't know.
03:53Yeah, it's like, oh, I'm just joining you.
03:55I'm going to make it super real.
03:56It's disgusting.
03:57Yeah.
03:57You wouldn't even hear him walk in.
03:59You wouldn't.
04:00You wouldn't.
04:00You wouldn't rip the goggles off your head.
04:01Oh, no.
04:01Yeah.
04:02Because they're loud, like, right in your ears, you know?
04:05Like, there's speakers that are, like, right there.
04:07You wouldn't hear the door open.
04:10You'd be so immersed in the scenario.
04:13I would have seen nothing because it was totally dark.
04:16So, the goggles ripped off.
04:18Oh, yeah.
04:19Thank God you didn't come home.
04:20Oh, my God.
04:21You dodged a porn bullet that day.
04:23Like, I know, don't try it.
04:26That's smart of you.
04:27I just know.
04:28Because I think you could.
04:28You get into things.
04:30Yeah.
04:31Like, I know.
04:32Like, don't try drugs.
04:34Don't try drugs.
04:35Exactly.
04:35It's your drug.
04:36Don't try virtual porn.
04:39Yeah.
04:39I have enough problems with the stuff that came out 35 years ago.
04:44Right.
04:44The way they were doing it that way.
04:4635 years ago.
04:48I've been doing it a long time, Lee.
04:49Because I haven't really seen it myself.
04:51Can I look like a lady is performing on me?
04:55Yeah.
04:55That's what it would look like.
04:56Like, she's going down.
04:57The problem is you'd look down and you're like, well, those aren't really my legs.
05:01Oh, right.
05:02Because it's another dude.
05:02Right.
05:03Right.
05:03Okay.
05:03Can I tell you what an even more terrible look would be is for you to be caught simulating
05:11going down on someone.
05:14What are you doing to that pillow?
05:16God.
05:18Then I got to get new pillows.
05:20Oh, my God.
05:21Gross.
05:22Oh, that's a pillow?
05:23I can't tell what it was.
05:24I can't even tell what it was.
05:26I'm glad it was just a pillow.
05:28Hit him with the fire extinguisher.
05:30I mean, like, that is, that's terrible.
05:37As that kind of stuff starts happening, good Lord.
05:41Oh, my God.
05:41Good Lord.
05:42Walking in on someone.
05:44Doing oral.
05:45Oh, my goodness.
05:45Pumping your couch.
05:47Oh, my God.
05:48Come on.
05:49We just got that.
05:51Oh, my God.
05:53Like, scheduling a pickup on that couch.
05:54Now, as most things, if you walked in on your lady doing that, would you be upset?
05:59If your lady was simulating VR oral, would you be upset?
06:05This is another fantasy.
06:07I'm just going to, this is another fantasy.
06:08No, I'm just, I'm serious.
06:10Yeah, no, I'm probably pretty upset.
06:12I'm going to say.
06:12Because I'm like, you're not spending a lot of time doing that over here.
06:15Yeah, well, they're not going to be doing that either with a sad set.
06:19The percentage would be very low.
06:21Huge.
06:22It's like huge.
06:25You know, you'd be a little more upset than you think.
06:27Me saying that ladies wouldn't be into it.
06:29The low percentage, I'm sure, like, we'll have, like, Judy calling in any minute.
06:33Oh, my God.
06:33Oh, my God.
06:35I'm sucking them all off in VR.
06:36What's wrong with you?
06:37You're prude?
06:38Yeah, exactly.
06:39Safest gangbang I've ever been in, and I've been in seven of them.
06:42Lisa doesn't speak for us.
06:44Yeah, exactly.
06:46Oh.
06:48God.
06:48Holier than thou, Lisa.
06:51I'm plugged in right now.
06:53Yeah.
06:55I'm talking and sucking.
06:56Yeah.
06:57Nom, nom, nom.
07:01I'm smoking and smoking.
07:05Got caught by my wife.
07:07Had the headset on.
07:08She came in the room, ripped it off my head.
07:10Uh-oh.
07:11With some hair still attached to it.
07:13Ow.
07:13Butt naked, surprised, with missing hair, really bad look.
07:18Oh, yeah.
07:19Yeah.
07:19And then she brought it up for the next how many years?
07:22Oh, never.
07:22Remember the time that you had that headset on?
07:25Yeah.
07:25You're perfect.
07:26You guys just saw that Wimbled?
07:29I don't think I got this thing.
07:30Yeah.
07:30Yeah.
07:31That's VR head.
07:32Skeleton.
07:33Oh, my God.
07:34I would feel real sad the day I put on a helmet to jerk off.
07:37I know.
07:38I would really feel real sad about it.
07:40You know?
07:41I might be looking at the helmet like, here we go.
07:44I guess it's come to this.
07:46You know what I think, though?
07:47You know what I think happens?
07:48I think that all goes away.
07:50Really?
07:50I think that gets like probably four times of feeling bad.
07:54They've already invented the suit.
07:56Oh, my God.
07:57Oh, no.
07:57I need it better than that.
07:59I need it better than that.
08:01Look at this guy.
08:03Oh, my God.
08:04Look at this guy.
08:05Of course, he's watching a cartoon.
08:07No.
08:07It comes with a fake set of boobs for you to fondle that's attached to you, and it has a jerker.
08:14How long would that take to get into that thing?
08:16You couldn't get out of it fast?
08:17Oh, my God.
08:18It's 400 bucks.
08:19Imagine I'm just walking around in that all the time.
08:22Oh, no.
08:23Never knowing the mood strikes.
08:24So that's what I looked like, huh?
08:26That's terrible.
08:27Oh, my God.
08:28That's so sad.
08:28Oh, my goodness.
08:29That is horrible.
08:31Wow.
08:32Oh, Jesus.
08:33Oh, my God.
08:34Holy cow.
08:35And this is the thing, though.
08:36What's amazing?
08:37Is he finishing there?
08:38Yes.
08:39People are.
08:40He definitely has his mouth open, and he's banging cartoons.
08:43They're always banging cartoons.
08:44That would be breakup territory if you found your guy in that.
08:47Oh, for sure.
08:48Like, okay, we're done.
08:49This is.
08:50Do you know the system I would have?
08:54I'm in my.
08:54You still saw me in my suit.
08:56I wasn't ready.
08:58Don't break up with me.
09:00Listen.
09:02Lisa, if I had a suit like that, I would have the bat cave.
09:06Yeah.
09:06I would.
09:07I'd have.
09:07You'd have to drive.
09:08I mean, if you have a suit like that, you don't have a woman.
09:10You're right.
09:11You're right.
09:11You're right.
09:12That's what it is.
09:12You don't have to keep the suit like the bat suit.
09:15Like, you press up on it and something twists.
09:17I go down a pole.
09:19It's in.
09:19A bunch of bats fly out.
09:21No one knows it exists.
09:24I'm like, I found this under my home.
09:27It's where I keep my suit.
09:29That's the only way to do it.
09:30That's the only way.
09:31That's the only safe way.
09:32You could never be caught by a woman with that suit.
09:35On the surface, I'm Bruce Wayne.
09:39It's still going while you're getting yelled at.
09:41Let me shut it off.
09:42Let me shut it off.
09:43Where's the plug?
09:44You're trying to shut it off on a map.
09:46Oh, God.
09:46It's still going.
09:47Then you just stand there and it's like.
09:49Getting yelled at.
09:54Hurry up and stop yelling.
09:57The titties are still rotating.
09:59Hold on.
10:01Yeah, no, that is not how you want it ever be found.
10:04It's bad.
10:05Not at all.
10:06But the future is here.
10:08No.
10:21No.
10:25No.
10:26No.
10:26No.
10:27No.
10:27No.
10:27No.