Alone Australia S03E06
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00:00I really need something to start working.
00:19What is that?
00:21Oh, it's a tizzy devil.
00:23I would really like to get a trout.
00:25I'm just not one to hold on to a fishing rod.
00:28Making a spear.
00:30This kind of turned it into hunting.
00:33And it can really change things for us, I reckon.
00:36The lake is rising at a rapid rate,
00:39so I've got to go for it while I can
00:41and try and cure as much food as possible.
00:44That's the first brown trout,
00:45but that's better at poking the eye.
00:46It's a blunt stick, isn't it?
00:48I'm not eating much, and what I am eating
00:51is just plant food and hopefully down the track protein.
00:56Oh, I don't feel good.
01:02Normally, if something goes wrong in my life,
01:04I just shut down.
01:05I'm like, no, can't.
01:07I just walk away.
01:09I'm not very good at giving myself a break.
01:11This is where the wallabies hang out.
01:13This is where I need to focus my trapping.
01:15I'm not confident in my ability hunting at all.
01:19I have never killed anything more than a fish.
01:23Okay, let's go.
01:25The trap is completely gone.
01:28My car won't be.
01:34Hopefully it's still in a minute.
01:36I'm not done.
01:38I love you.
01:40I love you.
01:41I don't know.
02:11There it is.
02:18Oh, can you see it?
02:24Just there.
02:31He's tackled up pretty good.
02:36I don't have a frog.
02:40Okay.
02:47There's no very big frog.
02:49Calm down, calm down.
02:53Calm down.
02:57Can you see me?
03:00Okay.
03:04Okay.
03:11Oh, my God.
03:20Oh, my God.
03:33I caught a wallaby.
03:35Oh, that was horrible.
03:48I kind of hoped the trap wouldn't work.
03:53So I didn't have to do this.
03:57Oh, I'm so dizzy.
04:10Oh, I'm so dizzy.
04:15Oh.
04:19Oh.
04:23I wanted to catch fish and eels.
04:27Not a lot of them.
04:30I should be celebrating.
04:45Oh, but for my first kill, that was traumatic.
04:49Oh, I should check the pouch.
04:50Oh, fuck.
04:51I hope it's not female.
04:56Oh, I really hope it's not a female with a joey.
05:02Oh, that fuck is mine.
05:17Oh, I'm so weak.
05:22This is a win, but it doesn't feel like a win.
05:29It'll feel like a win when I'm eating it.
05:33Oh, that took way too much out of me.
05:36Oh, let's see if I can lift it.
05:39Oh.
05:42I want to get it back while it's still warm,
05:46because it'll be easier to process while it's still warm.
05:51Maybe I should do it down by the lake,
05:56where there's water, and I could wash my hands.
06:01That's it.
06:05I think we're home clear.
06:08OK.
06:11I bet nobody thought I was going to catch a wallaby.
06:17I didn't think I was going to catch a wallaby.
06:20Everyone's like, oh, the forager.
06:23She's going to last one month.
06:26Don't you love an underdog?
06:29OK.
06:30Let's string it up.
06:35Oh, so heavy.
06:39So even though I don't like the killing part,
06:45I'm confident in processing animals.
06:47I studied biomedical science in university,
06:50and part of that was dissecting people.
06:52So I'm not at all squeamish.
06:55Ooh.
06:56Things about to get messy.
06:58Last time I processed a wallaby,
07:02it lasted my household a month of eating.
07:07I didn't kill the wallaby, but I skinned it, tanned the hide,
07:11processed it, and ate the meat.
07:15The trauma of the kill is now being replaced with excitement.
07:21Now that I see the meat, I am so excited.
07:26OK, I think now I'm going to chop it up into thin strips that I can smoke,
07:32and then I'll boil up the bones.
07:35Oh, that fatty sinewy can go in the soup.
07:41For preserving, I want to just use the meat because if there's fat on it,
07:48it could turn rancid.
07:53Here's the pelt.
07:55Still a fair bit of meat on it that I'll need to scrape off, but...
08:00Hopefully that will end up becoming, I don't know,
08:06a little blanket or a hat.
08:12A lot of indigenous cultures eat the liver as soon as they make the kill,
08:18because the liver would be one of the first to spoil,
08:22and they just eat it raw.
08:24I'm thinking, like, Native Americans in particular.
08:28Oh, I'm so hungry.
08:36The forager is back in the game.
08:38Oh, this would be better cooked.
08:52It's not good.
09:08It looks like it has, oh, it's not good, sorry, it's really smudged now, I don't know if
09:26that's any good.
09:28I'll show you this beautiful view, I'll get out of the way, oop-ah.
09:35I love it here, I love it here, it's beautiful, I'm really in love with this place and what
09:49it's revealing to me and I love all its mood shifts and its weather shifts and I'm not
09:55even missing the kids, is that wrong?
10:02If we could feast with eyes alone I would be a very full person at the moment.
10:12I need to get some food in my belly and I don't feel like I'm getting enough from plant material.
10:25I know I have to catch a fish, it's the bait that's hard to find.
10:34I think today my strategy is really, I've got to have lots more rods and lots more bait and
10:41I'm going to go off into the forest and get some worms.
10:54I need to go.
10:55I came here, for me what I really wanted was to let my wild intuitive self run, be wild.
11:09I mean that part of me that I'm led by something more than my mind.
11:15I'll make a little scratch.
11:20Whenever I step into the forest everything just falls away and this conversation starts
11:27to happen between me and country.
11:30I found a worm, I found a worm.
11:43My goodness look at that.
11:45I think I actually squashed him in half.
11:48Wow, I found a worm.
11:51I found a worm, I found a worm.
11:54Oh my goodness.
11:57Oh and the worm.
11:59It's huge.
12:00It's huge.
12:02Look, it's a worm.
12:05Oh my goodness.
12:07Wow.
12:08Thank you, wonderful patch of ground and delicious nutritious soil for providing some much needed
12:26grubs for me.
12:33Thank you trees for giving us that amazing nourishment.
12:44Dear fish spirit and spirit of the lake, I'm in desperate need of filling my belly.
12:51And I humbly ask that one of you may come onto my fishing line so I might be able to feed myself
12:58and stay here a bit longer.
13:00Please take this humble offering as a sign of my gratitude.
13:14I've got to get these fishing lines in.
13:19So there are two ways to abundance.
13:22One is you have lots of stuff.
13:27The other is that you don't need much.
13:31I've got like one, two, three, four, five, six lines in.
13:40I need to get food in my belly.
13:46I'm a menopausal woman so I have to really watch that I don't degrade my body to the point of not being able to repair it.
13:55That hormone shifter happens when you hit menopause.
13:58You have to really look after your body and what you're taking in.
14:02Otherwise you'll get osteoporosis.
14:05You know, like you just have to take back care.
14:08It's a tough time in a woman's life.
14:11I didn't think fishing was going to be this hard.
14:14I thought I'm going to catch a fish a bit sooner than this.
14:19I think I'm going to give it a little bit longer.
14:25Man, this is so frustrating.
14:28I've got the bait.
14:29I've got the rods.
14:31The eels are here but then what do you do?
14:41Man, I just want to eat.
14:44I really just want to eat.
14:46I don't know what to do.
15:08I'm just about to...
15:09I'm just about to hit the fern forest but I'm just sitting down having a rest.
15:18It's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me today.
15:22I've had a couple of flat days and I wasn't well.
15:26Mark my words, no more fiddleheads past my lips.
15:30I still don't have any energy.
15:31Like I'm still just zapped.
15:33But I need to go finish my wallaby trap.
15:35I haven't been here for a few days now.
15:39Hoping there's some kind of activity.
15:40It's a trap as I left it.
15:41The door that was too heavy.
15:42I kind of just gave up and left it.
15:43It's a trap as I left it.
15:44So I need to rip that door off and make a new one that's much, much lighter.
15:45It's a trap as I left it.
15:46It's a trap as I left it.
15:47The door that was too heavy, I kind of just gave up and left it.
15:48So I need to rip that door off and make a new one that's much, much lighter.
15:49So I need to check the trail cam.
15:50I was a little bit disheartened, but I just wanted to.
15:51I don't know what that was so much.
15:52It's a trap as I left it.
15:53It's a trap.
15:54It's a trap as I left it.
15:55It's a trap as I left it.
15:56It's a trap as I left it.
15:57It's a trap as I left it.
16:02The door that was too heavy.
16:05I kind of just gave up and left it.
16:10So I need to rip that door off and make a new one that's much, much lighter.
16:14So I need to check the trail cam.
16:17Cam. I was a little bit disheartened last time because there was nothing whatsoever.
16:23So I'm hopeful.
16:29I can see the wallaby.
16:32He's sniffing at the cage door. This is inquisitive.
16:37He sticks his head in the trap. No way. This is when it wasn't set the door was just hanging there.
16:43Oh my god he just like voluntarily went in there.
16:47Oh my gosh. Okay I'm really excited now. I am so hopeful. I am so excited. Come on wallaby stew.
16:57All right. I need to get to work.
17:02So hoping that the man fern fronds that I've just collected will do the job.
17:08I am very very hopeful for wallaby. It would be a total game changer for me. Total game changer.
17:19So my door is now complete. It's actually holding quite strong. I haven't tested the trigger but it's
17:28definitely a lot lighter than it was. So now I've got to climb in there and I've got to set the trigger.
17:33Oh that's close. Don't do that cutler. I'll get locked in.
17:45The moment of truth.
18:01Will it close?
18:02Will it close? It's just the ultimate test people.
18:10We've done it. The door closes. It won't open again.
18:14Oh my lord. I think I've done it.
18:28The whole shelter is now a smoke oven. That's a lot of meat that's drying there.
18:49It's been drying for hours so I don't want them to cook. I just want them to slowly dry out.
18:57So this isn't even a quarter of what we got.
19:04I thought I'd start cooking the lungs, liver and heart.
19:12And the fat.
19:15I thought I'd start cooking that now.
19:18So I can eat it now because I need some food. I'm so excited.
19:27Oh my god. This looks so good. Now this is a proper hearty stew.
19:32Mixed with veggies.
19:50Yum.
19:51Isn't that funny? I haven't had salt in three weeks.
20:01And now I'm eating this wallaby and it tastes so salty.
20:09Mmm.
20:10Oh. That is really good.
20:27I didn't think I had a chance. I honestly came into this thinking,
20:34oh, it'll be an experience. It'll be an adventure. It'll be great.
20:37It'll be so much fun. I'll learn about myself. I'll struggle. But now it's like...
20:43250,000?
20:51I might enter this race.
20:53I might enter this race.
21:06This is undoubtedly the coldest morning.
21:21I'll show you something. I'll show you how bloody, uh, cold it is.
21:26I don't know whether you can make that out.
21:28But that's part of the lake, and that's ice.
21:42Watch.
21:46I might be wrong, but I reckon the lake's backed off,
21:48feeling like it's still coming up.
21:50But it's not coming up at a rapid rate like it was.
21:52But I guess it's been a couple of days, no, three days without a lot of rain anyway.
21:59Right.
22:02What's the mission today?
22:04We get the fishing lines back in.
22:09I've made an executive decision.
22:12I was looking forward to eating that, because they're bloody delicious.
22:16But that'd be ridiculous.
22:19I'm gonna put it on the line, see if we can get another trout.
22:23That's the plan.
22:27Well, it's been three weeks, roughly.
22:30I've been out here.
22:32Time flies, though.
22:33And, you know, at this stage, I'm bloody pretty much thriving.
22:38You know, I've got plenty of food for at least, you know, nearly two weeks.
22:44My first fish.
22:44Got another one.
22:46Now we're talking.
22:48Yep, that worked.
22:49He's pretty bloody good, too.
22:52Success.
22:55Don't be a weird looking thing.
22:57It's a bloody trout.
22:58So excited.
22:59Woo-hoo!
23:01More than's a go, I think, for trout.
23:04Right on knockoff.
23:04There we go.
23:08We got him.
23:08Well, he's butted on both sides.
23:12Rock and roll, baby.
23:15Fuckin' A.
23:16Huh.
23:17First brown trout.
23:18I'm fuckin' blessed.
23:24Come with me and I'll show you something.
23:26What I'm working on at the moment, it's like a little warning system.
23:30So how this works is, so I've chucked the bait in and I've got a row of fork sticks coming all the
23:38way up here and then to here. And I'll sit the pot lid here and the fishing line's attached to this
23:46stick. Just there like that. So when we get a bite and I'm laying in there and my sleeping bag
23:54keep them warm, it goes, cope. And that's what I hear.
24:05Yep, it doesn't take much.
24:06Good ideas, Matt, muzzer.
24:11I'm gonna wait another hour or so and then go to bed with anticipation.
24:15You know, you certainly don't get bored out here. Well, I don't.
24:26I want to be able to look myself in the eye when I'm laying in my deathbed and so I'll give it a
24:30crack. I didn't waste a bloody minute. The old man died when I was 19. Never drank a smoke, fit as
24:39a fiddle. Jack Dancer got him. He got leukemia. After he died, Bron and I had just got married.
24:49She was still going to college. I took on the farm, 19-year-old.
24:56And it was too much. Like, I love the bush and I love farms, but I'm not a farmer. And I wore myself
25:03out that much over a couple of years. I just got probably depressed from Dad dying and doing something
25:10I really didn't want to take on the farm. But what are you doing? You're an only son.
25:15I was looking for a way out and I was just so tired and I thought, stuff it. It's not a suicidal
25:21bone in my body. But I tell you what, I got that down. I thought, right, I'm going to break both my
25:28arms. And then I can't work. And then I can have a rest. So I made this contraption out of railway
25:35line and stuff in the shed and got myself all set up. And I'm just about to got my arms underneath
25:40and this railway line's going to break them. And I'm just about to do it. My bloody uncle walked
25:46around the corner. Scared the shit out of me. Anyway, I just pushed the thing over that I'd built
25:52and walked away from him. And he was standing there just looking at it. And I couldn't face
25:59him because I knew I'd gone bright red and I'd shaken a bit. And anyway, he said, he said,
26:07how about you spend the day with me and we'll go for a drive around and come and have lunch with
26:12Aunty Hazel and I. And I think he knew I was going to harm myself. So that's as low as I got.
26:22I told Mum, sell the farm. I'm going to head off and have some adventures and do shit that
26:29I wanted to do. So I made a pack with myself to fill me life full of stuff, experiences,
26:36because you just never know, eh? So we did and I'm still doing it.
26:51Fuck's sake, something's happened.
26:52Yep. Here we go. Here we go. Bloody good one too.
27:06That worked.
27:07We got him. Check that out. I was thinking, mightn't happen tonight. And then next thing
27:21that the pot lid fell over, it scared the living shit out of me.
27:27Right. I've found a bit of a system to fish at night. So that's great news.
27:33That's great news. I'm a pretty lucky bloke, eh?
27:47I really, really got to catch a fish. You know, I could focus on catching an animal, but I think
28:08I have more luck at this moment in time catching a fish.
28:17Anyway, my eel trap is finished. So, eel goes in there, plinns to the end, and then we open,
28:27let the eel out.
28:35So, I am going to head off to the little inlet. I'm pretty excited to put my eel trap in tonight.
28:44Wouldn't it be amazing if that works? It'd be so amazing.
28:48And why I'm going there is because it's a sheltered little inlet and I have a funny feeling eels like
28:57shallow water in the evenings. So, I'm hoping they'll come in and it's sheltered and I can keep an eye on it.
29:05The thing is, when you haven't eaten, the last thing you want to be doing is frigging around with cameras.
29:20Dave!
29:21What do you reckon? In the water you go, let it sink.
29:43Alright, don't load on.
29:51Oh, it's the dumber. I can see this. You should easily come off because you are not twisted.
30:13Oh, for God's sake.
30:16I don't want to take you anywhere with me.
30:18I am so shitted off with these cameras. I've just got to change that, but they're giving me the shits.
30:33Oh God, I'm so ready to eat. So ready.
30:38My stomach's growling.
30:46Dude, I have a feed tonight.
30:48Today.
31:19Even though it's cold, the sun's out.
31:22I thought, let's have the fire on the beach and we can smoke the things here.
31:28Right now, my mission is preserve this meat, preserve it, preserve it, make it last a month.
31:33Use every little bit out of it. And I think I'm doing that. It's taken me three days of smoking
31:40to get through the meat and I reckon I'll need a fourth day of smoking.
31:44Oh, it's so nice being in the sun, in your undies, looking at snow-capped mountains.
31:57But the sun's going down and we've got work to do.
32:06So, get your kit on.
32:10I'm going to go get some firewood from down the beach, because everything up here is damp.
32:21It's a cool. It's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool, it's a cool.
32:30It's a cool spot.
32:35Did you see it?
32:35They're so pretty.
32:42Very sleek, like a sexy giant weasel with spots.
32:49Oh, did you go into my cabin?
32:52What are you eating, you asshole?
33:02What did you eat?
33:05Oh, he ate the jerky.
33:12Sneaky bugger.
33:16Now the qual knows that that's where my food is.
33:21I'm feeling very, very protective of my shelter right now.
33:27I feel a bit violated.
33:36Get out of here.
33:37Get out of here.
33:42Get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get.
34:00Get out of here.
34:03You eat, shite.
34:05He really doesn't care.
34:08Where's my gumboot?
34:13Yeah.
34:14Get, get.
34:19That's a problem.
34:20Just wander straight into my shelter and doesn't care at all.
34:29Looks like has a scar on his left leg.
34:35So at least it's the same one, at least I'm not dealing with multiple calls.
34:43Well, I'm just going to have to make sure that all the food, all the wallaby is secure.
34:54I reckon he'll be back.
35:01Alone Australia, powered by Kia.
35:04It's the ultimate human endurance challenge.
35:07The battle is on to survive alone in the rugged Tasmanian wilderness.
35:11With the winner taking home a prize with $250,000.
35:15Today is day 23, and to put it bluntly, my plan has turned to shit.
35:38This isn't the way I plan things to go.
35:40I plan to have a lot more food coming in by now.
35:52Came in here, I thought I'll bring into the table my trapping experience,
35:58my earring experience back home, you know, my foraging.
36:03But a lot of it hasn't really worked for me yet, so.
36:10Anyway, these are the fiddleheads.
36:14Now that they've been boiled.
36:22Yeah, the bitterness is still there.
36:40Things are a little bit more up in the air now.
36:43Like, I don't know how long I can stay here physically.
36:50Which is disappointing.
36:53But there's only really one thing I can do is just keep trying, so.
36:58My plan's to go fishing still.
37:00I'm not really one for afternoon naps, but today, I don't know, man.
37:13My body's just telling me go to sleep.
37:16Have a nap, wake up, go spearfish.
37:20Yeah, nah, the stomach is turning, just not feeling good.
37:36Had a drink, and I speared it all straight back out onto the ground.
37:41I think it might have been that batswing fern that I ate.
37:48Fuck.
37:49I couldn't hold that water down.
38:08You can't go too long without water, you know?
38:16So, Jesus.
38:18Let's just endure this.
38:25This is our life now.
38:27We can do this.
38:28It sucks, but let's just get through it.
38:35I can endure pretty much anything, you know?
38:40No matter how uncomfortable it is, no matter how horrible it is.
38:44I'm willing to do stuff that other people would just go,
38:51no, I'm not doing that.
39:14I'm going to do it.
39:18Fire!
39:20Oh, my God.
39:21Oh, wow.
39:23Oh, my gosh.
39:24I'm so happy.
39:26Oh, I wish I had pants on, though.
39:29I came down for a fish thinking I'm not going to get anything, and I got an eel,
39:35and I don't have pants on.
39:39Oh, my gosh.
39:40All right, I'm going to go get some clothes on.
39:50Now that I have pants on, I can actually show you my eel.
39:56Oh, my goodness.
39:58Like, this could not have come at a better time.
40:00Like, my stomach has been hurting.
40:02I've been so, so hungry.
40:04Oh, just the thought of me having to go and check my wallaby trap every single day,
40:10walking all the way over there, having no fuel in my body whatsoever.
40:14And now I have food.
40:17Oh, I've got to prepare this guy now, and go make a fire, and have some breakfast,
40:22and, oh, this is just going to be the best day already.
40:25It's breakfast time, or very soon.
40:44I'm going to cook my eel.
40:45It's already on there now.
40:48Start my sizzle.
40:49I'm a happy little camper.
40:55I will go fishing this afternoon.
40:56No, I'm not going to stop.
40:57Just because I have food, I've got to be persistent.
40:59I've got to keep trying.
41:02Yummy, yummy, yummy.
41:03I've got eel in my tummy.
41:08So good.
41:08It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I am just embracing it and loving it.
41:22I don't feel lonely.
41:24I mean, there's such a difference between being alone and being lonely.
41:28I'm alone all the time in my life, you know, by choice, by hiking on my own, camping on my own.
41:35I think that's the biggest thing that I've got out of this experience.
41:38It's hard, because my whole life is work, which I know most people think is an unhealthy balance,
41:42but for me, I love my job so much.
41:45Well, today is a pretty great day.
41:48I'm officially standing on Antarctica.
41:52I work as an expedition leader, so I take guests travelling around the world,
41:57snorkelling, diving, hiking, kayaking, looking for wildlife.
42:02Amazing.
42:03And getting really deep in different cultures from around the world.
42:07This is how every morning should start.
42:10I'm strong and confident, but it has its sacrifices, and that's relationships.
42:20But unfortunately, with my lifestyle, it just doesn't work, because I'll meet somebody,
42:24we'll start to hang out, and then I'm gone.
42:26You know, I'll be away for five or six months at a time, and I'll come back for a couple of days,
42:30or a week, then I'm gone again.
42:34But I'm ready to change that.
42:37Six and a half years single is a very long time.
42:39I have a lot of love to give.
42:46Being out here just makes you appreciate how good life is.
42:51But I definitely am going to change my ways when I get back.
42:54I'm not going to spend all this time alone like I do.
42:57I'm going to stop hiking and camping on my own.
42:59I'm going to start calling my friends.
43:03My friends would love to come out and do some exploration with me, for sure.
43:07I barely see them.
43:08Some friends I haven't seen for five, six, ten years, like...
43:11But that's all going to change when I get home.
43:41Off we go, down to the river.
43:48We're going to go out and try and see if we can spare a fish tonight.
43:53Seeing trout on the lake edge, within sparing range, I feel like, you know, spares make sense.
44:01I feel like I'm starting to come right now.
44:06Stomach's feeling better.
44:08There's no two ways about it.
44:10I am starving, slowly.
44:13I think we're kind of running out of time, you know.
44:20Holy shit, I can see a little trout.
44:27Oh, dear.
44:28Oh, he looks a bit spin-moving already.
44:33Let's see.
44:41Right under a stick.
44:43Oh, we got it.
44:57Oh, we got it.
45:00Holy shit.
45:03We got it.
45:06We got it.
45:07We spared it and it worked.
45:15Oh, I can't believe it.
45:16It actually worked.
45:18Something actually finally worked.
45:20Oh, man, does that make me happy.
45:27Yes.
45:30We got a trout.
45:31We got a proper trout.
45:33We got a trout.
45:33Finally it happened.
45:41Oh, man.
45:44That makes me so happy.
45:46This is a game changer, man.
45:52Look at that.
45:53Beautiful.
45:58That's a meal.
45:59That's a proper little meal.
46:01I'm going to eat the whole thing.
46:05I'm going to eat the bones, everything.
46:12I'm so happy.
46:13I'm so happy.
46:39So this was the first place
46:41we came to.
46:45Nice camp spot.
46:48It seemed so long ago.
46:50Oh, sun.
46:53You are the most glorious thing.
47:01Today is just what the doctor ordered.
47:04I'm feeling a little sombre.
47:06I think a little down about the whole fishing situation.
47:16I tried grubs.
47:18I tried worms.
47:20I tried seven rods here.
47:23I tried going near the estuary.
47:25I tried over the other side near the cliff.
47:29But, you know, what I really wanted to get out of this experience was to have like a deep
47:39listening kind of deep connection with the land.
47:42And I came here to stop using my head.
47:46But really, the survival side of it and the documenting side of it actually takes up a lot of time and energy.
47:53Just leave me alone.
48:00I want to be alone.
48:02It's not good when it's me and my trees.
48:10So leave me alone.
48:13With me and my trees.
48:15I want to be alone.
48:36Well, sorry for the absence, but I've had a personal care day.
48:45I had a wash.
48:52Hung all my clothes up.
48:54And I've actually sat here for a couple of hours totally naked.
48:58I just want to do it just for another half now while there's still some sun.
49:09And then I promise I'll start cameraing again.
49:15And I figured both in our health is really, really, really, really, really important.
49:21Alone Australia, powered by Kia.
49:28It's the ultimate human endurance challenge.
49:30The battle is on to survive alone in the rugged Tasmanian wilderness.
49:35With the winner taking home a prize with $250,000.
49:39Oh, look at that.
49:59Look at that beautiful.
50:00Oh, no, dropped it.
50:09Tragic.
50:10Not too bad.
50:11I'll eat it all.
50:13Look at that.
50:14I'm going to go to waste, ma'am.
50:18Things are looking up, ma'am.
50:20They really are.
50:20After a good three weeks of bugger all, really.
50:27Everything here has been different to what I planned.
50:33Surviving out here has gone a lot different to what I planned.
50:38But if we could get a trout a day, I'd be happy with that.
50:44Trying to be here for 300 days, that's my goal.
50:47Crazy as it seems.
50:51I mean, it doesn't matter how hard it gets.
50:55In my mind, I'm just going to be here until I'm not.
51:00I'm going to keep visualising that moment when baby comes in and taps me on the shoulder and says,
51:07we can go home now.
51:10If I can just keep this up, ma'am, I feel like.
51:17We could stay here for a really long time, you know.
51:21It's just a question.
51:22Can we keep it up?
51:24How long can we play the game for?
51:47Oh, too much.
52:02Damn it.
52:10So, there's something wrong with my mic.
52:13So, I have to have this really close.
52:16It's not working.
52:20Last night, I thought about a lot of things.
52:23And I just want to express them here.
52:29I don't love my camera.
52:34I actually rather resent the cameras.
52:38And I've been kind of digging into why that is.
52:43But I think a large part of it is because I'm not able to be really present because I'm constantly distracted by cameras.
52:55So, that experience that I was searching for, I don't think it's going to happen for me here.
53:01It's hard.
53:06Being held back so much.
53:11It's really hard.
53:13It really kills my intuition.
53:17Because there you have it.
53:18And I'm not struggling being alone on this land.
53:24I'm struggling making a documentary about it.
53:32I feel like it's time.
53:48I feel like it's time for you.
53:49Hi, this is Yonka.
53:51I'm officially tapping out.
54:18How are you, Yonka?
54:26I'm okay.
54:28I feel like I've kind of reached a limit.
54:34This is my 31st day without any food.
54:37And I just don't have the strength to carry a good camera anymore.
54:41So, I think it's coming to the acceptance of this is not what I had wanted it to be.
54:49And that filmmaking is actually really a lot harder than I thought.
55:06This experience finished earlier than I had wanted.
55:11But it will always be part of me.
55:13Like, I know I can just close my eyes and be back here.
55:18This land is in me now.
55:20It's a friend.
55:25Whatever happened here will keep working on me for months and months.
55:29Like, understanding what actually happened here and how it's changed me.
55:34And, you know, I think I won't know for a long while what that impacts.
55:41It will have been.
55:48I'm lacking motivation in a big way.
55:52Certainly losing weight really quick.
55:54I'm probably the lightest I've ever been.
55:56Oh, that was the closest I've come to passing out.
56:02Everywhere you look, it's just sheer mud.
56:05Everything's muddy.
56:06I can't get away from it.
56:07It's nothing drier.
56:09It's getting fucking wet.
56:11How did you not keep going?
56:14Oh, this is a motherfucking garbage.
56:16I'm going to get gas.
56:18Oh, my God.
56:19Oh, brazen.
56:20Jerky scattered everywhere.
56:23This place wants to turn me into a killer.
56:25Just not succeeding right now.
56:28Sitting around doing nothing just isn't good for my head space.
56:34If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline 13 1114 or text 0477 13 1114.
57:02Lifeline.org.au
57:07Beyond Blue 1300 224 636
57:13Beyond Blue.org.au
57:15YarnSafe 139276
57:20I'll be willing to Chelsea.
57:20Here we go.
57:21We will be playing in detail.
57:23Taiwan form of the decomposition meeerer 144 635 616 in .
57:24At the end of the day
57:26I'm going to be talking aboutaning until tribmet