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Ada Jones and Billy Murray sing “Cohan’s Pet Names” on Edison Amberol 78.

"Cohan's Pet Names"

Ada Jones & Billy Murray

1908

Song by George M. Cohan

They get names for pet names that
are perfectly ridiculous to say.
These nicknames are trick names that
the lovers call each other every day.

There's Piggy and Wiggy and every other
sort of foolish name.
They're gushy, they're mushy, but the
lovers seem to like them just the same! My honey!

Don't call me honey, love, because it rhymes with money, love,
And money's for the mercenary kind! (My baby!)
Don't call me baby, love, because it rhymes with maybe, love,
And maybe means a doubt is in your mind! (My dearie!)

Don't call me dearie, love, because it rhymes with weary, love,
And weary means unhappy we will be!
But I must have a pet name. (Then rhyme a name with love!)
Turtle dove rhymes with love! (That's the pet name for me!)

They make names for fake names that are
just as numerous as summer flies!
They're wild names, they're child names
that your mother used to sing in lullabies!

There's Frou-frou, there's Jou-jou--
they always get a soft and fluffy name!
They're fine names--they're shine names,
but the lovers seem to like them just the same. My cutie!

Don't call me cutie, love, because it rhymes with beauty, love.
I know I'm not a beauty--that is true! (My daisy!)
Don't call me daisy, love, because it rhymes with lazy, love,
And lazy means that I'd soon tired of you! (My darling!)

Don't call me darling, love, because it rhymes with quarr'ling, love.
I trust of quarrels there will never be.
But I must have a prize name! (Then rhyme a name with prize!)
Angel eyes (Oh!) rhymes with prize! (That's the pet name for me!)
My girlie!

Don't call me girlie, love, because it rhymes with early, love
And I would rather sleep and dream of you! (My dreamer!)
Don't call me dreamer, love, because it rhymes with schemer, love,
And schemer means a lover who's untrue! (My lily!)

Don't call me lily, love, because it rhymes with silly, love,
And silly means there's something loose up here!
But I must have a pet name!...

Ada Jones & Billy Murray “Cohan’s Pet Names” on Edison Amberol 78 LYRICS HERE = George M. Cohan song