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00:30Hoping for a pair, Az? Working your day off?
00:35I'm not working, just something I have to do.
00:38What's some kids you need to run over? Pensioners you need to terrify?
00:41It wasn't even my idea. I didn't even want to do it.
00:45Am I supposed to start guessing? Because if there's something I should know...
00:49No, it's not just...
00:51Jacob.
00:53He starts mouthing off at me and he's obviously needing to prove something.
00:56Because next thing, he's calling me out for a race.
00:58A race? What, are you five years old?
01:00And the winner gets what?
01:02Right, not Sarah.
01:03No, it's not like that. He's just in my face.
01:07He won't back off.
01:08And you won't back down?
01:10Would you?
01:11Well, does she know?
01:12Because if she did, she should be giving you both a slap.
01:14Well, yeah, she found out and started kicking off.
01:18All right, so you're just carrying on anyway?
01:19I know what people think of me. What charity thinks of me. They want me to mess up. Show what a loser I am. I can't let that happen.
01:29Jacob needs shutting up. He's shutting down.
01:32Now, it had to be Mac, didn't it? He absolutely loved it.
01:40I get it. He's an irritant. But it's not him that you should be stressing about.
01:44He tried to pretend he was all right with me, but no. I always saw through it.
01:48You've mentioned that a few times. Just forget about him. Aaron you need to talk to.
01:53I keep telling myself we can work things out, but what if we can't? What if we are done?
02:00You just... you need to explain it to him like you did with me.
02:04Yeah, but you wanted to listen. He doesn't. He's already pretty much slammed that door in the face.
02:08And if he loves you, that door will get opened again.
02:12I know you're pretty down on yourself at the minute.
02:15Yeah, because... because all of my life I've got things wrong, so I just stopped trying.
02:25And then Aaron... finally got it right.
02:35Do you want some help with that?
02:36You do not want the answer to that. I feel like wrapping it around Liam's neck.
02:40This position is just short-term until they can afford to find someone else.
02:44Yeah, yeah. He'll probably have a name badge for me today. Receptionist.
02:56Check I've ever ridden about before.
02:59Not my problem, is it?
03:00Well, it is your problem if you lose, because that would be embarrassing.
03:03Ain't gonna happen.
03:05I just wanted to say, um...
03:08Thanks for this.
03:10I really appreciate it.
03:11Well, I'm expecting you to win, because that... way... Charity's probably gonna lose.
03:16I don't even know why she hates me so much.
03:18Growing up, Charity made a lot of mistakes. She doesn't want Sarah to make the same ones.
03:22So I'm a mistake?
03:23Only one person can prove her wrong.
03:25All right.
03:25I don't need to prove myself to anyone.
03:29Sarah's got an hide.
03:30What?
03:32You're not opening up today?
03:33No. Boss gave me a day off.
03:36Think I might ask her for a pay rise.
03:37Feel free to ask if I can have one, too.
03:39Ha! Good luck with that.
03:44Did she suspect anything?
03:46Why would she?
03:47I doubt she even thinks you two are stupid enough to be carrying on with all this behind her back.
03:51What she won't know, won't hurt her.
03:53But she'll definitely hurt you if she finds out.
03:55I know that.
03:56Right, come on, get in the van.
03:57You've got a race you need to win.
03:58I know that face.
04:09Probably one that doesn't want to be disturbed by me.
04:12Honestly, I wish I was lesbian too sometimes.
04:14Okay, er, this conversation suddenly went in an unexpected direction.
04:18Whatever stupid thing girls and women do, it will never be as stupid as what men do.
04:24Are all roads leading back to Cammie?
04:26And Jacob.
04:27But I thought that road had closed.
04:29Yeah, so did I, but they've now got into this pathetic feud with each other.
04:33Oh, that doesn't sound good.
04:34Things like that never end up well.
04:36Oh, it gets worse.
04:36They actually were planning on having some stupid motorbike racing against each other.
04:40Because racing on motorbikes is always the best way to solve a problem.
04:44I think they were just trying to prove something, but...
04:46What, something to you?
04:47Yeah, but all they've proved is that they're both idiots.
04:49I'm just glad I shut it down, shut them down.
04:51But why is Jacob even getting involved?
04:52I thought you and him...
04:53Yeah, we're done. Over.
04:55But no, now he's suddenly telling me that he misses me.
04:57And that's not going to mess with your head at all.
05:00I just don't even know what to think or feel anymore.
05:03Well, when we're done here, back to mine.
05:06For a proper chat.
05:07Woo-hoo!
05:15Oh!
05:17Jakey, can you smell that?
05:18Petrol?
05:19No!
05:20Not petrol, victory!
05:22It's in the air!
05:23Come on, breathe it in.
05:25What are you doing?
05:26Selfie.
05:27Smile!
05:29Right, come on, off you go.
05:30What, now?
05:31Yeah, last minute practice.
05:33Just, don't be scared of it, Earl.
05:36What, scared?
05:36He's not scared, he's well up for this.
05:39Totally.
05:39Make me tell your face that, then.
05:42Right, go on.
05:43I'll tell you what, Sammy.
05:53He's a fast learner.
05:54They'll reckon I should ask you if we've got insurance.
05:56This would need to be legal for us to get insurance.
06:00Oh, you've got a...
06:01What are you doing here?
06:02Same as you.
06:04Watching this, who ride around the track for apparently no good reason.
06:07Yeah, well, I've got a dog in this fight, so...
06:09So do I.
06:10But mine's got a bigger bite.
06:12Are you serious?
06:13You're actually backing Cammy?
06:15Siding with the enemy?
06:17It's not my enemy, Charity.
06:18Just because you've given a kick in doesn't mean to say I need to kick him, too.
06:22Where is he, then?
06:43Hey, what do you think you're doing, you clown?
06:49Bro, you're the clown.
06:51My nan would go faster than that.
06:52Oh, you're on time, I'm impressed.
07:09It's a scorn run.
07:12Yeah, no, I...
07:13Sorry, I didn't mean them.
07:15Lucas, Clemmie's here!
07:17Get your shoes and coats on!
07:21I did tell them five minutes ago, but you know what they're like.
07:25How's the cottage?
07:26It is what it is.
07:28I know it's not what you...
07:30Look, I'll just go and wait in the car.
07:31Billy!
07:33I'm just trying to keep it normal, Dom.
07:42Don't.
07:43Don't what?
07:45Beat yourself up.
07:48This is killing him.
07:49Yeah, and it was always going to, but...
07:51this guilt that you're putting yourself through?
07:53It won't go away.
07:54Yeah.
07:58I mean, feeling sorry for him is not going to make things easier, is it?
08:01It's going to make it worse.
08:02He didn't deserve any of this, Joe.
08:04He is a good person.
08:05That you used to be in love with.
08:09With me and Jacob, I genuinely thought it was over,
08:11but then when he was talking and saying all the regrets that he had...
08:14And Cammy, where does he fit?
08:16I don't know.
08:17I like him, I really like him, and he's different, you know, something new.
08:21And your gran loves him?
08:22Yeah, added bonus.
08:25Look, this is going to sound bad, and I actually hate saying it.
08:28Don't worry, he's not here to hear it.
08:30When I was with Jacob, I just had this future plan in my head,
08:34and he was in it.
08:36You know, it just felt right and normal.
08:39Long term?
08:40Yeah.
08:41But with Cammy, I don't think it's ever really felt like that.
08:44But then again, he's never hurt me,
08:45and all the things he's done for me, he really cares about me.
08:48The thing with the future, it can change in a heartbeat.
08:51Oh, look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
08:54Oh, no, no, don't worry, it's fine.
08:56I'm just saying, we try to paint all these perfect pictures,
09:00but sometimes life comes along with a big red marker pen
09:04and puts a line through it all.
09:05So, if you had to choose right now...
09:10I don't know, it's so hard.
09:12Maybe if you made a couple of lists, pros and cons,
09:15you know, what's really good, what's really bad,
09:18what you hate, what you love.
09:19Oh, good morning, sleepyhead.
09:26How was your lying?
09:27Can't really call it a lying when you've been awake all night, can you?
09:32Are you still doing it?
09:33Well, I stayed in your spare room.
09:35And just so you know, you've really got to look at that wallpaper,
09:38because I also wanted to make sure that you were okay.
09:46Yes, I'm fine.
09:47Yeah.
09:48Yeah, you lick it.
09:50There were so many questions that I need answering
09:52and these two spiners to even come and face me.
09:55Right.
10:01Please don't go off your head.
10:02Why would I go off my head?
10:03I was just trying to protect you.
10:05Oh, no.
10:05Oh, no.
10:06Mary, what have you done?
10:08Nothing.
10:08I'm not...
10:08John did come and see you, though.
10:13What?
10:13When?
10:14Yesterday.
10:16I just thought...
10:16You just thought?
10:17You just thought?
10:18What do you mean?
10:18You just thought what?
10:20Did you send him away?
10:21Well, I knew what he was going to say to you.
10:23I've been thinking he's avoiding me.
10:24Aaron, he lied to you.
10:26Yeah, well, it seems like everyone lies to me.
10:28Move.
10:28It's not too late to change your mind, bro.
10:35None of this is new to me.
10:36You can keep talking, but no one's listening.
10:3920 quid says Jacob wins.
10:42I'm not going to steal your child support off your charity.
10:44Your kids have got to eat.
10:45Sammy!
10:46I think Kay might have lost his spine.
10:47Shall we help him look for it?
10:48Have a think where he had it last.
10:50Yeah, yeah.
10:51He'll make it interesting when you call it 50.
10:53I'll make it double interesting.
10:55150.
10:56That's not double, but dumb.
10:57Deal.
10:59Right.
11:01Up to the line.
11:02Start him up.
11:03Give me a minute, Sammy.
11:04Here.
11:05Jacob?
11:05You all right?
11:06Yeah, I'm all right.
11:08It's just you don't seem all right.
11:09Seriously, can we just do this?
11:10Can someone take his batteries out?
11:12It's getting very irritating.
11:13Okay, listen to me.
11:15Don't let him get inside your head, okay?
11:17You stay in the moment.
11:18You shut out the noise and you stick to your guns.
11:21Okay?
11:21Mm-hmm.
11:22Thank God.
11:24Let's do this.
11:24Okay, so I'm not going to bang on about rules.
11:28Because there are none.
11:29You just go when I say go.
11:31But, devil's leap.
11:35Just don't get daft.
11:37Some bloke went mad up there and ended up smashing his skull and now he eats through a straw, so...
11:42Joyful little anecdote for you there.
11:43Great.
11:44Thanks, hon.
11:44Okay, on your bikes.
11:50Ready?
11:52Steady!
11:54Go!
11:55Go!
11:58Go!
12:00Go!
12:00Go!
12:01Go!
12:02Go!
12:15Go!
12:17Go!
12:23He was outside. I didn't think you'd want to see him.
12:36But we had words and he took off. I thought I was doing the right thing.
12:39I can't believe he'd do that.
12:41What, I told you. I was trying to protect you.
12:43Protect me? I don't need a guard, Doc.
12:45No, I was being a mate because I know how good he is at talking people round.
12:48Oh, right. So I'm a mug then. Is that what you're saying?
12:50No, that's not what I'm saying at all.
12:52I'm saying that you were upset and that your head was all over the place.
12:55That's not your call to make.
12:57No, it probably wasn't.
12:58But tell you what, Aaron, given the opportunity, I would do it again.
13:01Because he was lying to you.
13:04So God knows what else he was lying about.
13:05Oh, yeah, because you always tell the truth, don't you? Proper open book.
13:08This isn't about me. This is about John and all the red flags that he's got above his head.
13:12And look what's happening right now. You're defending him.
13:14I'm not defending him. You're not even listening to me. I'm not defending him.
13:17I'm just trying to get the answers that I need.
13:19And if you hadn't been such an idiot, maybe I would have got him.
13:20Or you would have heard exactly what he wants you to hear.
13:23Are you being serious?
13:25Yes, I'm being serious. Because we both know exactly how it's going to go.
13:28I'm really sorry, Aaron. I wasn't lying to you, but this is just my truth.
13:32Stop.
13:32What happened when I was playing soldiers? It's just left so many scars.
13:35It just sets.
13:36I didn't want my past to scare you away.
13:37Right, okay. You need to go.
13:39We both know it's coming.
13:40Now.
13:43Fine.
13:44Fine.
13:48Aaron.
13:49You only get this good at lying if you've had loads of practice at it.
13:53I'm not stupid, you know.
14:11I know you're here just to wire me up. It's got nothing to do with Jacob and Cammie.
14:15You're right.
14:17And you're wrong.
14:18But not in that order.
14:20Aye?
14:20So, she is stupid and you are just there to wind her up.
14:27Thanks for clearing that up, Sam.
14:29Well, do you know what? You'll all be laughing when your money's going in my pocket.
14:33All winnings donated to charity. Thank you.
14:36The only chance Dr Perfect had of winning
14:39is if Cammie would have turned up on a pedal bike with two punctures and a broken chain
14:43and even then, had her backed him.
14:50What a mess.
15:08Honestly, if you ever hear me say the words,
15:10let's decorate ever again,
15:12please lock me in a cupboard.
15:13That's a bit extreme, isn't it?
15:15Which I just... I don't even know what I was thinking.
15:17It just all stinks of paint.
15:18Yeah, that's the thing with paint.
15:19I mean, it tends to smell like paint.
15:22Yeah, well, it's not very good for Thomas.
15:24So, you don't mind having him again today, do you?
15:26Yeah, I'm... I'm meant to be working.
15:28Yeah, but you'd choose your own hours.
15:30Practically your own boss.
15:31Yeah, well, like you're practically your own boss.
15:32Yeah, but I don't get to choose my own hours.
15:34Right.
15:35But if it's a problem...
15:37It's not...
15:37Well, clearly it is.
15:39Come on, spit it out.
15:40Just leave it, Cammie.
15:40Leave what?
15:42Have you got something to say, Vinny?
15:43I don't want to be a dad.
15:46What?
15:46I don't want to be a dad.
15:47That's what I'm saying.
15:53I brought lunch.
15:55So there's one less thing to worry about.
16:00Oh, sorry.
16:01Have I interrupted the flow?
16:02No, there wasn't much flow going on.
16:04It's not always going to be like this.
16:08Like what?
16:09Are you feeling guilty?
16:10I knew it'd be hard, but...
16:13It'll be even harder if you keep blaming yourself.
16:15Who else do I blame?
16:18Me?
16:19I mean, things haven't changed, have they?
16:21We're together, but we're not together.
16:24We're still pretending.
16:25Yeah.
16:26I know it's going to be hard.
16:28It's going to be worth it.
16:30I promise.
16:31Oh, it's the school.
16:37Hello?
16:38Hello?
16:38Yeah.
16:58I don't know.
16:59Oh, my God.
17:00Oh, my God.
17:02So, do you want the good news or the bad news?
17:15Bad news.
17:16It's a tie, which means they're both as bad as each other.
17:19Right, and the good news?
17:21It's a tie, which means they're both as good as each other.
17:25Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't funny.
17:27No, the thing is, it should be, though,
17:29but nothing about my life is funny,
17:31cos I never know how long of it I've got left to live.
17:33You're Sarah.
17:35And I get it, nobody really knows,
17:37but I do know that there's this thing hanging over me all the time,
17:40and whatever choices I have to make, big or small,
17:42they always just become bigger, because I have to make it matter.
17:45I can see why you feel like that.
17:47Yeah, because it's true. Girls my age, they can date who they want,
17:50they can get it wrong, and they'll always be someone else,
17:52but I can't afford to get it wrong,
17:54because what if there isn't someone else?
17:56You're getting yourself all worked up,
17:58and it's totally understandable, but there is probably a third option,
18:02that neither of them are right for you,
18:04so I've been them both.
18:06You've still got time to make choices,
18:09to make mistakes, to get it wrong, to get it right.
18:12Yeah, sorry, I must sound so...
18:14I hate feeling sorry for myself.
18:16We all feel sorry for ourselves sometimes.
18:19Do you fancy a refill while you figure this out?
18:21Why am I not boring you?
18:23You know nothing about my life.
18:31Erm...
18:33Whatever decision you were about to make,
18:35had Hangfire something you might want to see first.
18:38There is an obvious misprint on the menu.
18:46There should be two S's, not one,
18:48otherwise people aren't eating dessert, they're eating desert.
18:52Hey, no, don't put that in your mouth.
18:54Sorry, no, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to my son.
18:56Look, can you just get it reprinted and sent out to me ASAP?
19:00It doesn't rain.
19:01It pours.
19:02Have you got a spare umbrella?
19:03Well, I'm guessing because we've got the little man here,
19:04it's not just work related.
19:05Come here.
19:06Tell me if I'm sticking my OR in where it's not wanted.
19:07If it's about Vinnie, you can stick your OR in wherever you like.
19:09You can stick your OR in wherever you like.
19:10I'm not talking to you.
19:11I'm not talking to you.
19:12There should be two S's, not one,
19:13otherwise people aren't eating dessert,
19:14they're eating desert.
19:15Hey, no, don't put that in your mouth.
19:16Sorry, no, I'm not talking to you,
19:17I'm talking to my son.
19:18Look, can you just get it reprinted and sent out to me ASAP?
19:20Well, I'm guessing because we've got the little man here,
19:22it's not just work related.
19:24Come here.
19:25Tell me if I'm sticking my OR in where it's not wanted.
19:27If it's about Vinnie, you can stick your OR in wherever you like.
19:30Of course.
19:31So he has talked to you then?
19:32Yeah, he's talked to me.
19:34This morning he told me that he didn't want to be a dad.
19:36What? Where did that come from?
19:38I've just asked him to look after Thomas.
19:40Well, sorry, he's your son.
19:41I mean, should he have moved in if he didn't want to be part of that?
19:44Yeah, but he hasn't actually said where it's coming from.
19:46Well, I'm guessing it's from me.
19:47No, no, no.
19:48It's definitely not you.
19:50It's absolutely him.
19:52He just...
19:54He's just terrified that he's not going to be the dad that he wants to be.
19:57What?
19:58Vinnie is great with Thomas.
19:59He has him loads of times.
20:01Someone has had Thomas loads of times.
20:03Oh, my God.
20:04Oh, hang on.
20:05What's he so scared of?
20:06History repeating itself.
20:07You know what his dad did to him.
20:09Look, you might not see the scars.
20:11But Vinnie is not his dad.
20:12Same blood, same DNA.
20:14You know?
20:15He's just desperate that he's not going to be anything like him.
20:17I don't mind it.
20:18You know what Vinnie's like.
20:19You know, when he gets something in his head, he just keeps overthinking it.
20:22Why didn't I see this?
20:24Because he didn't want you to see it.
20:27Look, I'm going to need to go and talk to him, if you don't mind.
20:31Well, it's not like him.
20:32Yeah, you take as long as you need.
20:34See you.
20:35And that's fine.
20:39I'm not gonna do that.
20:41VONコちゃん
20:46You know, isn't it?
20:47Why are you looking for you?
20:56You okay?
21:24I thought...
21:25Fine.
21:25If you need any help...
21:27I don't need your help.
21:29Just leave me alone.
21:32Mess about.
21:33Fine now.
21:45Proud of yourself, are you?
21:47You giving yourself a big pat on the back?
21:50Oh, you're talking to me.
21:52Good.
21:52Right.
21:53Well, I don't see anyone else who's obsessed
21:54with putting themselves in other people's relationships.
21:57Oh, little sister stomping her foot.
22:00Please don't be mean to my big brother.
22:01I know where I'd like to stomp my foot.
22:04Can he not fight his own battles
22:06instead of making them up and lying about who died on them?
22:08He was on his way to tell Aaron the truth.
22:11You had to get in there first, didn't you?
22:13And I bet you loved that.
22:15Right now, why would I love that?
22:16Oh, come on.
22:17We both know how you feel about him.
22:18You hate him.
22:20Victoria, do you not think it's even a little bit weird
22:23that he lied about someone being dead when they were very much alive?
22:27Very much alive?
22:28He's been in a coma for years.
22:30So he's in a bed, not a coffin.
22:32And Johnny Boy had plenty of opportunity to tell him that,
22:35only he didn't.
22:36Did he?
22:37And do you know what I think?
22:38I think that you're too scared to ask him the questions
22:40because you might not like the answers.
22:43Because the truth of the matter is, Victoria,
22:45you don't know who your shiny new brother is either.
22:47I know who he is.
22:49And I know that he loves Aaron.
22:51But maybe after everything you put charity through,
22:53you've forgotten what love looks like.
22:55Wow, so we're reducing ourselves to tit for tat now, are we?
22:58Are we just going to stand here and call each other names?
23:00Nope, because I'm off to fix what you tried to break.
23:09Hey, what are you doing here?
23:12More like, what are you doing here?
23:13This stupid race wasn't supposed to be happening.
23:15Well, I'm pretty sure it is,
23:17otherwise we're just three people hanging around in a wood.
23:19Right, look, this isn't funny, you know,
23:20I told them to call this off.
23:22Well, Sarah, boys will be boys,
23:23and the more you try and stop him doing something...
23:25Oh, don't pretend like you didn't want this to happen,
23:26you were actually helping, Jacob.
23:27Only because I don't want him getting injured.
23:29And you really wanted him to beat Cammy.
23:31You even had a bet on it, didn't you?
23:32Eh?
23:33All winnings are donated to charity.
23:36Are you serious?
23:36Hang on.
23:38If you didn't think this was happening,
23:39what are you doing here?
23:40Because I saw the picture.
23:42What picture?
23:43The ones I'm posted.
23:44Eh?
23:45You didn't post that picture online for all the world to see.
23:48Well, for the whole world,
23:49just for friends and family.
23:51I'm beginning to think you're trolling me some.
23:55Well, you couldn't have timed it any better.
23:56Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
24:19Look, Clemmie,
24:20what happened today in class,
24:22playing up like that?
24:22I know that isn't you.
24:26Look, maybe we need to talk.
24:29Okay?
24:29Because I know that everything feels really different right now.
24:33But it's important you know this.
24:35Everyone still loves you.
24:37Okay?
24:37And Billy, you're going to see him all the time.
24:38That's not going to change.
24:40Everything's changed.
24:41Billy doesn't love us anymore.
24:43Clemmie!
24:44He'd hate it if he knew I was here.
24:51So why are you here?
24:52Because if I hadn't started digging,
24:54none of this would have happened.
24:56So blame me.
24:57Blame you?
24:58Should be thanking you.
24:59He isn't somebody that opens up easily.
25:01So when he started telling me about his past,
25:03it was a pretty big thing for him.
25:04We've all got pasts, Vic.
25:07And I thought we'd shared everything.
25:10So what stuff has he made up now?
25:11Nothing.
25:13Nothing.
25:13John was on his way to tell you the truth
25:15and Mac stopped him.
25:16I should have known the truth from the start.
25:18You should.
25:18You're right.
25:19And until he explained it to me,
25:21I thought it was all a bit weird too.
25:23If he could go back.
25:24Yeah, but he can't go back, can he?
25:25He can't just put it all back in the bottle.
25:28I've got no clue who he is anymore.
25:29Yes, you do.
25:30You do.
25:31He's the person that you fell in love with.
25:32And he loves you, Aaron, more than you know.
25:35I just wanted him to be straight with me.
25:38How am I supposed to trust him now?
25:39But you're getting married.
25:41Are we?
25:42Please.
25:43Please, just give him a chance
25:44and let him explain
25:45before you decide whether it's over or not.
25:50Before you go off on your head...
25:51You didn't listen to a word I said, did you?
25:53Of course I listened, but...
25:54But you thought you'd have your stupid race anyway.
25:55He got in my face.
25:56I don't want to know.
25:57It's pathetic, all of it.
25:58I didn't start this.
25:59But I was always going to finish it.
26:00Oh, why?
26:01Because you're the big man?
26:02No, because that's...
26:02It's just the way it is.
26:03Are you going to stomp your feet at Jacob, too?
26:05Do you know how cringe all of this is?
26:06I like you, Sarah.
26:07I really, really do.
26:08But this wasn't about you.
26:09This was about me and Jacob
26:10and shutting him down.
26:11So where is he, then?
26:13Jacob.
26:14Because he should definitely be here by now.
26:16Well, he should be,
26:17but he won't be.
26:18He had a little accident
26:19at the leaping and flying off his bike.
26:20What?
26:21Always the leap.
26:22I warned him.
26:23And you didn't stop to help him?
26:24Of course I did.
26:25I asked if he needed any help.
26:26He told me to do one.
26:27I wasn't going to ask twice.
26:28Oh, and why would you, eh?
26:30Why would I?
26:30Sarah!
26:31How come you're not at work?
26:38Because I needed to see you.
26:40Your mum's got Thomas.
26:42And what did she say to you?
26:44Look, I'm really sorry, Vinny.
26:45I had no idea.
26:48Before, I, um...
26:50I shouldn't have said what I said to you.
26:51And I was palming Thomas off on you
26:52without even asking if it's okay.
26:54Yeah, it's not about Thomas.
26:55I know.
26:57But you are not him, Vinny.
26:59Vinny, you are not your dad.
27:00Yeah, I know I'm not, but...
27:03It's just sometimes I start thinking things
27:05and then I can't stop thinking them.
27:06Yeah, and that's probably normal.
27:08Is it normal?
27:08You know, being worried about saying,
27:09doing the wrong things.
27:10Vinny.
27:11And being scared about even being, you know,
27:12the slightest bit angry
27:13in case it turns into something else.
27:14Or I turn into something else.
27:17I mean, you probably think I'm being paranoid, but...
27:19A little bit.
27:20All parents get angry.
27:22Yeah, well, not every parent had a dad
27:23who couldn't control his anger.
27:25Who would literally, you know,
27:26beat his son up, apologise,
27:27and then do it all over again.
27:29I know, and it must have been awful.
27:32But that isn't you, Vinny.
27:33You're nothing like him.
27:35You are a good man.
27:36Yeah, well, he gambled.
27:37Couldn't control it.
27:38And then, you know, I gambled, so...
27:39Yeah, but you could control it, though.
27:42I just think about the future, Gabby,
27:43and it scares me.
27:47Look, I'm going to say it again.
27:51Because you are a good man, Vinny.
27:55A man I want in my life and my son's.
28:04How is she?
28:06Well, I have just left her bawling her eyes out,
28:08so how do you think?
28:09That's a stupid question, sorry.
28:10Jo, she's just a little girl
28:14who has had so much to deal with
28:15before the age of seven.
28:17I mean, all she's ever known is trauma.
28:18She was in home after home, care.
28:21She didn't know what love was.
28:23And now she has got what she finally wanted,
28:25a family, and it's been ripped apart.
28:28All because I've put myself...
28:31us before my own kids.
28:36I could talk to her.
28:37What? Seriously?
28:39I'm just trying to help her.
28:40Why? Because you know what it's like
28:41to grow up without parents.
28:42That's not exactly the angle I was going to take.
28:44Well, maybe you could talk to her
28:45about how lonely it is
28:46with only servants and horses to talk to.
28:50Sorry. Sorry.
28:51I get it. It's fine.
28:53You need to stay away from this, Jo.
28:56It's way too confusing for them.
28:57I just don't like seeing you like this.
28:59I know.
28:59But you've got to understand
29:01I am a parent first.
29:02I always will be.
29:03I know.
29:04And me and you,
29:05it's at the back of the queue, okay?
29:06I know you think you've got a role to play,
29:08but you really don't.
29:10I know you think you've got a role to play,
29:13but you've got a role to play,
29:14but you've got a role to play.
29:15Jacob,
29:34you okay?
29:36You're not hurt or anything?
29:37What are you doing here?
29:39Cammie told me something had happened to you.
29:40I was scared.
29:42Don't be.
29:42Let me just text my gran
29:44because she was worried.
29:51So what actually happened?
29:54Nothing.
29:55I'm just an idiot.
29:56Right.
29:56Now tell me something that I don't know.
30:01I thought I had something to prove.
30:04I am not that person, Jacob.
30:07Not to you.
30:08To me.
30:09Right.
30:10Well, you're okay.
30:11That's all that matters, right?
30:12It could have been so much worse.
30:16Yeah, I could have ended up dead like my mum.
30:20She died on her own.
30:23In an ambulance.
30:27The only people around her were strangers.
30:29Hey.
30:30I think about it all the time.
30:32I wasn't there, but I still see it.
30:36Imagine it.
30:37I see her face.
30:44And she knows she's dying.
30:48Well, I'm sorry.
30:50No, what are you saying sorry for?
30:54It's always there.
30:57When I go to sleep, when I wake up.
30:59Have you talked to anyone about this?
31:01You shouldn't have to go through this on your own.
31:03Eric?
31:04No.
31:06He's been great.
31:08I'm supportive, but he's got enough going on.
31:11Jacob, there's people who can help you.
31:15I try and shut it down.
31:19Get it out of my head.
31:20But in that split second, when I came off the bike.
31:28I didn't know what was happening.
31:32It's like everything just stood still.
31:38And it all came rushing back at me.
31:40You've just got to let me in, Vinny.
32:02If I knew you were feeling like this...
32:03No, I'm scared you'd run a mile.
32:05I'm not the one doing the running.
32:07I'm never going to run away from you.
32:08Do you know if I'm ever being stupid?
32:12Or I'm on the ledge again, please.
32:14But there were no talks for down.
32:17I know I should have spoke to you.
32:18Because...
32:19I always want to be in your life, Gabby.
32:22You and Thomas.
32:23You know, that's the future I want.
32:25It's the future I want, too.
32:29Okay, so what's stopping us?
32:31What?
32:31Well, when two people want to spend the rest of their lives with each other...
32:34They get married, right?
32:38Yeah.
32:38I guess.
32:39Okay, so why don't we?
32:41Why don't we get married?
32:44I shouldn't be putting all this on you.
32:47It's embarrassing.
32:48I'm not your problem anymore.
32:50Gabby, you can still talk to me about anything.
32:55I'm never not going to be sorry, though.
32:57The way I've been with you, that wasn't me.
32:59I know.
33:00With everything you had going on.
33:02And I took it all out on you.
33:07It's okay.
33:09No, it's not.
33:11I'm better than that.
33:12Because of it, me and you have messed it up.
33:20I mean, look at me now.
33:22Doing stupid stuff like this.
33:24I know I've blown it.
33:32You've got a better option now.
33:34I never said I wanted a better option.
33:35I really do hate myself, you know.
33:46For hurting you like that.
33:49I think about the way you looked when I ended things.
33:52You know, that was...
33:54Because I...
33:57I thought I was pregnant.
34:01What?
34:05Sarah.
34:07When you broke up with me, I...
34:08I thought I was pregnant with your baby.
34:14You might think it's come out of nowhere, but...
34:16When you know, you know, don't you?
34:17So it just, you know, sort of makes sense.
34:21Or it doesn't.
34:22No, no, Vinny.
34:23No, I'm sorry.
34:23Of course you don't want to marry me.
34:25Just forget I said anything.
34:26No, I don't want to forget it.
34:27I was getting ahead of myself, okay?
34:28I'm stupid.
34:28I've just messed it up, haven't I?
34:29You haven't messed anything up.
34:31It's just...
34:32Caught me by surprise, that's all.
34:36Just everything that I've been through.
34:39You know, with Jamie and Nicky,
34:41it's taken me a while to get past what they did to me.
34:44I'm nothing like them.
34:45No, I know you're not.
34:47The sad part is I wanted to be.
34:49Because they were more than me, weren't they?
34:50They were more cool.
34:52Whereas me, I'm just...
34:53I'm just Vinny from the scrapyard, aren't I?
34:55I love Vinny from the scrapyard.
35:01I don't think you understand how much I love you.
35:04Look, you've been just saying this to make me feel better.
35:05Okay, well, maybe you're going to believe me when I become your wife.
35:12What?
35:12I thought...
35:13When you know, you know.
35:15Oh, my God, right, okay.
35:16But you need to ask me properly.
35:18Right, yeah, but don't I need a ring for that?
35:20Oh, well, rules are made to be broken.
35:23Come on, just ask me.
35:24Well, do I have to get down on one knee still?
35:25Obviously.
35:26Right, okay, okay.
35:27Gabby, Gabby, Gabby.
35:30Will you marry me?
35:32No.
35:33Oh, right.
35:34I'm kidding.
35:35Obviously, I'm going to marry you.
35:36Come here.
35:39We're getting married.
35:40Talking!
35:41Talking!
35:41Doesn't suit you, that look.
35:49What look?
35:50The one where you look happy.
35:52£150, Richie.
35:54I don't really care about the money, to be honest.
35:56I care about Jacob and Sarah.
35:58She might have texted saying he's okay, but where are they?
36:00So, do I get half the cash?
36:01No, you don't.
36:02Hang on, that's not fair.
36:03So's baldness, mate, but there's a lot of men without her.
36:06I don't know why you're looking so hard done by.
36:08Whatever's happened to Jacob, that's on you.
36:10On me?
36:10Hang on.
36:11No!
36:12Mouth, you hang on.
36:13Anything could have happened to him.
36:15I told you, I checked on him.
36:16Bet you couldn't wait to ride off, though.
36:19None of you were even there.
36:20You're wasting your time.
36:21She just doesn't like it when she backs her on course.
36:23Oh, he got lucky.
36:24Not going to be lucky all the time.
36:26I don't even care what you think.
36:27Me and Sarah will be good.
36:29And what happened today won't change that.
36:30You won't change that.
36:31And I'm not giving up on her.
36:32I, um, I really didn't expect you to call.
36:46Yeah, neither did I.
36:47There is so much I need to say to you, Aaron.
36:51What I don't understand is why you didn't just say it before.
36:54Why did you have to lie to me?
36:55Let's start from there, shall we?
36:57Aidan didn't die.
36:58But I pretty much killed him.
37:02In my own mind.
37:04That is what I had to do to get my life back.
37:07I had to tell myself every day that he was dead so I wouldn't spend every moment praying that he would wake up.
37:14This.
37:16This man that I loved.
37:20That I would have taken a bullet for.
37:22He was lying there in a coma and there was nothing I could do to help him.
37:26I'm still not Aaron why he didn't just tell me the truth.
37:28Because this was my truth.
37:31I could go to some pretty dark places.
37:34Guilt.
37:35Shame.
37:37Self-loathing.
37:39I don't want you going to them too.
37:41You've got your own wars to fight.
37:42I do not want to drag you into mine.
37:44Oh, will you just stop it?
37:45Wars?
37:47I've never hidden anything from you.
37:49What I am.
37:50Who I am.
37:51I thought it was supposed to work both ways.
37:53It does.
37:53I just didn't.
37:54What, you didn't want to scare me off?
37:56I am sorry.
38:04I should have told you the truth but these are my demons, not yours.
38:08Demons.
38:09Or just secrets.
38:11I thought I'd prove myself to you.
38:15That you can trust me with anything and everything.
38:17Yeah.
38:19The man who knows all my secrets.
38:21And I don't know if I can trust him at all.
38:25Oh, still ask it then, eh?
38:31Might have got bored of that yesterday in the salon.
38:34Obviously not, no.
38:36I tell you what.
38:38Anybody that works in nursery, they're heroes.
38:40They need a gold clip.
38:41Oh, looks like the cavalry he had around.
38:44Oh, thank God for that.
38:45No offence, Tommy.
38:46And it looks like the cavalry.
38:48You've sorted things out.
38:49Oh, look at you two, eh?
38:51Anyone looking that happy always makes me worried.
38:52You look like you want something.
38:55Oh, no, better than that.
38:57We're getting married.
38:58What?
38:59I'm sorry.
38:59I don't know about that.
39:00That's what I meant.
39:01What?
39:01Are you serious?
39:02I know.
39:02I know you're shocked.
39:03I mean, so are we.
39:05Four.
39:06Four's not important, okay?
39:07We're looking forward now, not back.
39:09Which is, it's obviously, you know, it's brilliant.
39:12But as far as U-turns go, it's...
39:13I know, it's a pretty big one.
39:15Big, it's the size of Fleming Boz.
39:16But we love each other very much.
39:18And we know what we want.
39:19And that's all that matters.
39:24I know I've made mistakes, a lot of them,
39:27but it's because I love you.
39:28You made such a big deal about getting married.
39:30And you'd already been engaged.
39:32Did you just forget to tell me?
39:34No, it's just a part of my past
39:35that I didn't think you'd want to know about.
39:37Are you still in love with him?
39:38What?
39:39Are you still in love with him?
39:41No.
39:42Of course not.
39:43I still care about him,
39:44but that is a different time in my life.
39:46And what if he wakes up from this coma?
39:48He won't.
39:48Yes, but if he does wake up from the coma,
39:50he's going to wake up to his old life
39:51thinking he's still engaged here.
39:53Then he'll realise life didn't stand still.
39:55It couldn't be put on hold.
39:59You're still in love with Robert?
40:02Oh, Mike.
40:04Are you serious?
40:05Do you really want to go there?
40:06Just saying, we both have past.
40:08Yeah, and you know everything about mine.
40:09But this tells me nothing about yours.
40:11It tells me nothing about you.
40:12You live your life travelling around on your own
40:14like some little hermit.
40:15And for what?
40:16Are you running away from something or somewhat?
40:18No.
40:18Vic wanted to invite a load of your mates
40:19to the stag do and to the wedding.
40:21And you said you didn't want them there
40:22because you were scared they would start brawling.
40:24Was that another lie?
40:25Only because I'm ashamed of the truth.
40:27Ashamed?
40:28I don't have any friends in the army anymore, Aaron.
40:30I had to leave that life behind
40:31to try and heal.
40:33And no, I'm not running away from anything.
40:38The person standing in front of you now
40:40is still me with flaws
40:41and honestly there are so many things
40:43I wish I could change about me.
40:45But that's just the thing, John.
40:46I don't want you to change.
40:47I am fighting things all the time.
40:49And we're supposed to fight them together?
40:51I get it.
40:52I get it.
40:53There's probably things that have happened to you
40:54in the past that I don't need to know about.
40:56Yes.
40:57I have scars that do not need reopening.
41:00That is my old life.
41:01You are my new life.
41:02But if we're going to get married, right?
41:03If we're going to do this whole marriage thing,
41:05how many more secrets and lies
41:07am I going to find out about you?
41:09If?
41:10You've not answered my question.
41:12Well, is there any point
41:14if you're already having second thoughts?
41:16Trust me, I'm having more than just second thoughts.
41:18Right.
41:19Right, well.
41:21Sounds like you're calling off the wedding.
41:23That's because I don't know who I'm marrying anymore.
41:26Okay.
41:29So what happens now?
41:31I don't know.
41:35I don't know.
41:36I just need time to think.
41:41Look, we can, um...
41:43we can work this out.
41:44No.
41:47Just go.
41:50Please, not like this.
41:56It was never really a right time
42:10and then I couldn't get my words out
42:12when you broke up with me.
42:15I turned my back on you
42:16when you needed me the most.
42:18You didn't know.
42:19But if I wasn't being so selfish...
42:21I didn't want to make things worse for you.
42:23I knew what you were going through.
42:25Well, my mum wouldn't be ashamed of me.
42:28No, she wouldn't.
42:28All I was doing was thinking about myself again.
42:33You were grieving.
42:35Look, I shouldn't have said anything.
42:38Yes, you should.
42:41You haven't told me how you actually felt
42:43when you thought you were...
42:46scared.
42:48I felt scared.
42:51But then there was also a part of me,
42:53a big part of me that was excited, you know.
42:56I never thought I'd be able to get pregnant
42:58and then all of a sudden
42:59I was thinking of this future with you and I.
43:03Crazy.
43:05It's not crazy.
43:09Come here.
43:14I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, Sarah.
43:16You just had to stay alive, didn't you?
43:42There isn't a moment of any day
43:44I don't wish you were dead.
43:46You know, right now
43:47someone else needs to put in out their misery.
43:51That'll be my friend Mac.
43:55He's going to find out what happens
43:56when people push me that little bit too hard.
43:58And...
44:00I've been to you now,
44:00I'm so sorry I know that you have to go over there.
44:04And I said, yeah, that's what happens.
44:05I'm so sorry.
44:06I'm so sorry.
44:07And now...
44:07I'm so sorry...
44:08I don't know.
44:08I'm so scared.
44:09I'm so sorry for you.
44:10I'm so sorry for you.
44:11I'm so sorry for you.
44:11I'll see you next time.
44:12I'll see you next time.
44:12So I can't do it again.
44:14I spoke to you next time.
44:15I'm so sorry for you.
44:16I'm so sorry.
44:17I'll see you next time.
44:17Transcription by CastingWords