Harper only meant to get her dad’s overprotective friend Chris fired by tempting him into breaking the rules. But the more he protects her through the ups and downs of her final year at Yale, the more she begins to see him not as a target—but as the man she’s falling for.
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00There's no rain out there.
00:24Break the sun.
00:29So why'd my dad send you anyway?
00:33Thought you'd be busy running your nightclub or eating up sleaze bags, not making up some kind's daughter.
00:46Come to think of it, I actually don't think I've seen my dad in months.
00:51I don't do small talk.
00:54I didn't do that.
00:58Wait, wait, wait, stop.
01:02I need to pick something up.
01:03No, I'm not taking a little kid to buy alcohol.
01:05I am 22 years old.
01:07Exactly, kiddo.
01:08Shut up!
01:09You're not that much older than me.
01:11Look, I'm having a little kickback at my apartment later and I need to buy alcohol because otherwise nobody will want to be friends with me and then we'll have any friends for the rest of the year.
01:19If I take you, will you shut up?
01:25Yes.
01:26Yes.
01:27I'll be good.
01:28I'll be good.
01:29I'll be good.
01:30I'll be good.
01:31I'll be good.
01:32I'll be good.
01:34You're not going out there dressed like that.
01:49It's not safe.
01:52Has it been like this the whole time?
01:54Yeah.
01:56Why didn't you say something?
01:57It just did.
01:59You freaking creep!
02:02Give me a jacket or something.
02:19When you're done checking me out, I think your store closes in two minutes.
02:35I was not checking you out.
02:37That was a yawn.
02:38Sure it was, kiddo.
02:40It's past your bedtime.
02:44Stop calling me kid.
02:49You're going to actually make friends tonight, Harper.
03:09This is a small kickback.
03:11Looks like a goddamn circus in there.
03:14Does your dad know about that?
03:16Well, maybe if my dad actually bothered to visit, I would give a shit what he thinks,
03:22but he doesn't live here, and neither do you.
03:25Yeah, about that.
03:26I live here now.
03:27He put me in charge.
03:29And I'm kicking everyone out.
03:30Wait, Chris, no, please.
03:35This might be my only chance to return to this.
03:37You can't buy your friends, kid.
03:51I don't have another choice.
03:53I've barely met anyone since I transferred here, and this is my last year of college,
03:57and I don't want to graduate alone.
04:00Fine.
04:04Have your kickback.
04:05Or not.
04:07Either way, I have to stay here until your dad gets back.
04:11I don't need you to look after me!
04:17Who is that?
04:20No.
04:20I'm going to kill you?
04:26Count your days, slut?
04:28It's not a big deal.
04:29I can explain.
04:31This is your ex, Brian.
04:32Your dad was talking about him, this sick fuck.
04:35You guys were spying on me?
04:38Mark cares about your safety.
04:40That's the only reason I'm here.
04:42It's either me living here or three bodyguards.
04:45Your choice.
04:50You are not living here.
04:56I don't give a shit what my dad says.
04:58I don't need a babysitter.
05:01Then stop acting like a baby.
05:06You better not show your face in there.
05:08I don't need you acting like an asshole to all my friends.
05:18God damn it.
05:19It comes to work.
05:30Whoa!
05:31Who's this?
05:32Oh, Grandpa!
05:33Grandpa?
05:35He's hotter than me, Brian.
05:36Huh?
05:37Remind me of why we're at a loser nobody's house when I run Greek life.
05:49I could literally be on a yacht right now.
05:51Apparently, this chick Harper Reeves has a rich dad.
05:54And rich dad means fancy alcohol!
06:03Hi!
06:03Hi!
06:04Christina, Fox, and Becca, too.
06:07I can't believe you guys actually came to my party.
06:10Duh!
06:11I didn't miss it.
06:12It's really nice to meet you.
06:17Well, uh, please feel free to help yourselves.
06:23Thanks, Heather.
06:23Oh, it's Harper.
06:26Enjoy the party!
06:31I guess this bottle of the calendar makes up for having to put up the bed door at Harper.
06:37Where's Harper?
06:39Harper?
06:40Forget Harper.
06:45Hang out with me.
06:47I know somewhere we can talk.
06:52I know somewhere we can talk.
06:55I don't like talking.
06:56Oh, I know your type, Daddy.
06:59Christina and I learn to group activities.
07:02Talk or no talk?
07:04You're telling me you would turn down the both of us for that nobody, Harper?
07:11Sorry, ladies.
07:12I don't like my women.
07:14Desperate.
07:18Oh, I mentioned Harper's name again.
07:20I'll make you regret it.
07:22Huh?
07:24He really picked Harper over us?
07:27I think we need to teach that nobody a lesson about what happens to skanks who think they can upstage us.
07:40Oh, Harper.
07:43Hey.
07:44Listen.
07:45Do you think I could use your bathroom?
07:48Everyone is using the one downstairs.
07:50And...
07:51Ew.
07:52Okay, yeah.
07:53Of course you can.
07:54You're...
07:54You're like...
07:55You're school royalty.
07:57Thanks.
07:59You know,
07:59I can't believe we didn't become friends earlier.
08:04We're...
08:04We're friends?
08:05Of course!
08:08I have to pee.
08:10Wait for me?
08:11Uh, yeah.
08:12Of course.
08:12I'll swim in right outside my own room.
08:14What jerk can I find?
08:33Oh, this is gold.
08:38Harper, you are one psychotic little bitch.
08:44Time to shut your abuser party down.
09:03I think I saw Harper go out there with a guy.
09:05I think I saw Harper go out there with a guy.
09:14What the hell?
09:26Attention, everybody.
09:28Hello.
09:29You all seem a little bored.
09:32So why don't I spice things up by reading...
09:35A few pages of Harper's Diary.
09:43Let's see.
09:45Dear Diary.
09:47Dad never wants to hang out with me.
09:49Sometimes I feel like he doesn't love me.
09:53Aw, Harper.
09:56Daddy issues much?
09:57No!
09:57I need to give her back.
10:07Dad's friend, Chris, is like a dilp.
10:12That stands for a dad I'd like to fuck.
10:15And honestly, he weren't my dad's best friend.
10:20You fantasize about the fucking guys your dad's age?
10:27Harper, that is so nasty.
10:29No, Christina, it's not true.
10:31Christina, I think the bitch is in heat or something.
10:34Is all this talk about your rude grandpa fetish turning you on?
10:42That's cool right now.
10:43Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
11:03Fuck this.
11:03Fuck this.
11:13Jealous that a grandpa prefers Harper over a threesome with you and your loser friend?
11:36You were supposed to get rid of him.
11:42Come to her party.
11:44Take advantage of her kindness and you make fun of her family life.
11:48It was a joke.
11:49It was a joke.
11:50Joke is the fact that Harper turned out to be a good kid without her father in her life.
11:55Your dad taught you how to be a witch.
11:59Chris, that's enough.
12:01Let her go.
12:05And one last.
12:10What the hell is it off with you?
12:12You're too old to be this petty.
12:14You're damn right I'm petty.
12:16Let's get one thing straight here.
12:18Harper might be too kind to flash your family's connections.
12:21If you mess with her again...
12:23Fuck you, Harper.
12:28But we're literally just girls.
12:29I don't give a fuck.
12:31Everyone out.
12:32The fuck out.
12:33What the hell was that?
12:45What the hell was that?
12:46What the hell was that?
12:46She hurt you.
13:03Chris, I said I'm fine.
13:07You're crying.
13:15Why are you crying?
13:17I don't understand.
13:18Those aren't your friends, kid.
13:21They're just trying to hurt you.
13:22I don't need you to fight my battles for me.
13:26Stupid.
13:26I know they're not my friends, but that was Christina Fox.
13:29You're just embarrassing me for them.
13:31And she's the queen of ours.
13:32I said stop.
13:37I said stop.
13:40I don't care if she runs the school.
13:42We'll find you another school.
13:43I'm here to keep you safe.
13:45Keep you safe by pulling out a gun in front of college students?
13:49Just because you run some sort of shady business.
13:51I choose my next words very carefully.
13:53I told you to stop calling that.
14:02And I told you to stop acting like a lot.
14:06Oh yeah.
14:09If I'm such a kid, it's not resting.
14:13It's not my girl.
14:19Sorry, kid.
14:20That's my gun.
14:21You're going to have to try a lot harder if you want to turn me on.
14:26You better not be here tomorrow.
14:43Please tell me you're gone.
14:44There will not be a single t-shirt in there, Chris Collins, I swear.
14:53I don't care what my dad says.
15:00Oh.
15:03God.
15:03What kind of freak is my dad friends with?
15:22No.
15:23You know, if you want to play, you're going to just ask.
15:41I don't want to play.
15:47What do you even do with these, you perv?
15:49Oh, I'm the perv.
15:51You're the one who came into my room, into my closet when I wasn't here.
15:56I was doing you a favor and helping you move out because you shouldn't be here.
16:02Uncuff me.
16:02I don't have time for your game, this old man.
16:19Give me this.
16:19You and I are going to establish some ground for this.
16:29Are you ready to listen?
16:31Like a big old girl?
16:32Or am I going to have to keep you covered all day?
16:39Rule number one.
16:42There's a lot of scarier shit out there, kiddo.
16:45You just haven't been out in the real world long enough to notice it.
16:49So when I tell you that I'm here to protect you, you better listen to everything I say.
16:55I can take care of this.
16:56Rule number two.
16:58No talking back.
17:01I am the last guy you want to piss off.
17:10Rule number three.
17:13Don't start any games.
17:15You're not ready to play.
17:33So what else do you have planned today?
17:34My plans are none of your concerns.
17:41Here in the regular, no-violent, non-mafia America, we have this thing called privacy.
17:49You can have your privacy.
17:52Until sunset.
17:54What does that mean?
17:59The end curfew.
18:00How's my daughter?
18:24Um, hot.
18:26What was that?
18:27Uh, she's hot-headed.
18:30Why the hell did I say that?
18:31That's why you're watching her and not me.
18:33Is she back from class?
18:35She was supposed to be back from class hours ago.
18:38Chris, is my daughter okay?
18:40She's fine, Mark.
18:42Good.
18:43You're my best friend.
18:44You're the only one I trust to keep her safe.
18:53You better have a good excuse when I find you.
18:55It's so big.
19:04It's so big.
19:06You better have a good excuse.
19:10I never am.
19:12This is your name.
19:14You better have a good excuse.
19:16You got a fucking strip club, Harper?
19:34My dad wants me to keep you out of trouble when you're in a goddamn strip club.
19:46Oh, excuse me. We're filming.
19:54Filming? Filming what?
19:56Some real hot stuff. Now beat it, Grandpa. Go find a room somewhere else.
20:01I'm looking for Harper, who says her location's here. So step aside before I make you.
20:08Um, nope. Harper's my best friend, and she didn't mention some old dude would be looking for...
20:12Hey, wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
20:16You look so sexy. Keep going, Harper.
20:33You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here. I tried to stop him.
20:41No, Harper. You shouldn't be in this crimey-ass place. What do you think you're doing here?
20:46It's for a class project. Give him this camera back, you prick.
20:50Class my ass. Is that what you want?
20:52Hold her to get her here? I'd stick this camera straight up.
20:55Chris, stop!
20:56Not until I pummel this creep. Then the camera's in there.
20:59Hey, wait, wait, wait. Drop the camera.
21:01That's a thousand times.
21:02You should have thought about that before making Harper shoot your porn.
21:05That is enough!
21:06These look amazing, Harper.
21:23Oh, my best friend is so sexy!
21:25We hate to the whole classies list.
21:27No one's going to see these.
21:29Deleting them.
21:29What?
21:30That is art!
21:32Give him this camera back or I swear to God, I'll go out there and I'll give one of those creeps a lap dance.
21:39See how much my dad likes that?
21:45Your choice.
21:46Okay, what is?
21:53No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
21:56You asshole!
21:57If you ever ask Harper to do something like this, I will jam that camera so far down your throat.
22:04You'll be shitting out Polaroids.
22:07What the fuck is your problem?
22:09You're leaving.
22:15Now.
22:23So first you stalked me, and then you humiliated me in front of my friends?
22:27I did it for your own good.
22:29You assaulted my classmate and ruined our project!
22:33You need me around for your safety, because clearly you can't do it on your own.
22:37You should have seen the way those guys were looking at me.
22:40But the piece of me...
22:41My classmate?
22:44It sounds like someone's a little jealous.
22:50Jealous?
22:52Jealous?
22:57You're cute, Harper.
22:59I'll give you that.
23:00And those things you do, they're cute too.
23:05And what's not cute?
23:07Me jealous.
23:10Now you were right.
23:11I'm in some shady business.
23:12And I don't give two shits about what your little friends think about me.
23:15But you better not test me.
23:17Or I'll break you.
23:21In more than one way, Harper.
23:27Well, guess what?
23:29You just called me Harper instead of kid.
23:32And just admit that you want me.
23:42What the hell is happening to me?
23:46There's no way I'm turned on by my best friend's daughter.
23:50Put your suit belt on.
23:51You know what, Chris?
23:53You want to be my bodyguard?
23:55Fine.
23:56But I'm going to make you crazy for me.
23:58Let's see if Dad keeps you around there.
24:00So, are you going to tell me who that possessive psycho hottie is?
24:07No.
24:09Are you sleeping with Harper, what's there?
24:11Oh my God, Maria, no!
24:13Ew!
24:15That's my dad's best friend, Chris Collins.
24:17He was sent here to keep me safe.
24:20And he secretly wants to fuck you.
24:23I don't know.
24:24But I do know that that's the only way my dad will agree to send him home.
24:28Um, wait.
24:29You actually want to seduce your dad's best friend?
24:35Think about it.
24:39We need to get my dad to fire Chris.
24:42The only way to do that is if he makes a move.
24:44So that's step one.
24:46You should have seen the way he barged into that club looking for you.
24:50He was jealous, Harps.
24:51Yeah, right.
24:52Jealous of me?
24:53I'm a college student who works at Whole Foods.
24:55He's like a tech genius, billionaire, hobbyist, MMA fighter.
25:01Not jealous of you, dummy.
25:03Jealous over you.
25:04It looked like he wanted to kill Aaron over you, Dancy and that lingerie.
25:08So all we have to do is somehow make Chris more jealous until...
25:13Until he snaps.
25:14And then he has to admit he's got the haunts for his best friend's daughter.
25:17And when your dad sees that, he'll be on a plane to butt-fuck nowhere in no time.
25:25Here's to Operation Seduction.
25:27Chris Collins, you better watch out.
25:30Because I get what I want.
25:32Tell him he's in.
25:43Sexy outfit.
25:44Check.
25:46Popcorn?
25:47Check.
25:48A notebook.
25:48The only movie that can make a guy cry?
25:51Check.
25:51What do you want?
26:04You done giving me the salad treatment?
26:07Um, popcorn?
26:08Harper?
26:09You idiot.
26:11Seduce him.
26:12I mean, I brought snacks as a peace offering.
26:18But if you're busy, I can come back later.
26:21Wait, wait, wait.
26:24You have a date, but that's not important.
26:26Your pulse is racing.
26:29What's going on?
26:31Oh.
26:32Is your ex-boyfriend giving you trouble?
26:34No, I just...
26:38I came to ask if you wanted to watch a movie, but it's...
26:43Are we watching a movie or not?
27:02But what about your date?
27:04How are you not crying?
27:25This is like the saddest movie ever.
27:27Because it's not real.
27:30This is ridiculous.
27:32No one would ever leave a perfect husband like that for someone like this.
27:36It's true love.
27:39It's not so staying as true love.
27:41Anyone who's fully grown knows that kiddo.
27:44Or...
27:45Maybe...
27:45You are just a soulless AI bot.
27:54And there are batteries in your back.
27:56What exactly do you think you're doing touching me like that?
28:10What exactly do you think you're doing touching me like that?
28:15No, come on.
28:17Just admit that you enjoyed it.
28:18Don't mess with me, Hartman.
28:26I'm not a toy.
28:27I'll ruin it.
28:28Well, I'm not just something that can be ruined.
28:31As hard as you try to convince yourself, I'm not a little girl anymore.
28:34Not a lie.
28:40You are a beautiful woman.
28:42And I'm too much for you.
28:44I can't give you this.
28:45You can't handle me.
28:47Try me.
28:48I don't do that lovey-dummy shit.
28:55I don't kiss.
28:57And I don't love her.
29:00Maybe I'm into that.
29:02No.
29:03I don't think you are.
29:08What did you get yourself into, Harper?
29:10Harper?
29:12I don't think you are.
29:14I don't think you are.
29:18You're supposed to seduce him, Harper.
29:41Not be seduced by him.
29:44I told you not to call me on my personal phone.
29:49I told you not to call me on my personal phone.
29:52You're late, Nick Daddy.
29:55But you sound pissed.
29:58So I'll wait.
30:00Hey, you want to come in and fuck your frustration up?
30:02Not tonight.
30:04Is he?
30:05Is he?
30:08Not for me, you're not.
30:10When the hell could you possibly be?
30:14Are you with another woman?
30:15What?
30:16No.
30:18Not a woman.
30:22Do you know how many guys would kill to be with me right now?
30:32Not this guy.
30:35That's my number.
30:35Whoever this girl is, your days are numbered.
30:47Do not flake on Milena Kaufman.
30:49Do not flake on Milena Kaufman.
30:49He's going to be the death of me.
31:05He's going to be the death of me.
31:09If he's going to be the death of me.
31:11He's going to be the death of me.
31:12Because I'm coming for you, Chris Collins.
31:25Today.
31:26Dammit, Harper.
31:56You know, if you're trying to fill me up, you should probably have your hand inside my pants.
32:19Oh my god, did we have sex?
32:22Oh my god, did we have sex?
32:24Yes, I slept with my dad's best friend, his business partner. I'm a dead co-walking.
32:30No, but we might as well if you're going to keep your hand up.
32:39So, so we didn't?
32:41No, because you're still alive. Trust me, you can't handle that with me, Angel.
32:48One night with me is when you wouldn't survive.
32:51You don't know that.
32:54Let's just say you're lucky you're not by time.
32:57Oh yeah? Explain that.
33:00It's morning one, sweetheart.
33:03Don't get your hopes up.
33:05We're not on a nickname basis.
33:07You're just some guy who works with my dad and can't take a hint.
33:11Is that what you tell all the guys to get them to sleep with you?
33:19Is that how you ask all the guys to sleep with you?
33:28Well, what's wrong?
33:29Not as adventurous as you thought you were.
33:31I am going to go for a cock-a-walk.
33:35I'm going to go for a walk.
33:38With my friend.
33:40Thanks for watching me sleep. Bye.
33:42This will do.
34:04Okay.
34:04So my dad's best friend knows how to shoot a gun and beat up my ex, but...
34:18Not how you want to be.
34:19Struggling life.
34:30Struggling life.
34:30Struggling life.
34:31I feel the mess.
34:37I feel the mess.
34:40I swear I've done my mess.