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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00oh my god she's insane what are you doing here
00:00:14you set me up you stay away from me you're insane
00:00:24can't let you ruin my wedding with Leanne you and Asher heard you're a great
00:00:31couple I'm sorry Leanne
00:00:36but you've got to go they say that sex ruins everything
00:00:45and sometimes they're right how's that baby awesome
00:01:00we done here yeah I think I did my job
00:01:03are we done here yeah baby you're the best
00:01:19you were amazing was it good for you awesome what's your name again
00:01:26money we need to talk what i'm breaking up with you
00:01:34so mean you are breaking up with me i mean i'm breaking up with you
00:01:40this isn't working out goodbye honey
00:01:46i can't do this anymore what do you mean you were breaking up with me
00:01:49i mean i'm breaking up with you this isn't working out but but take care monique
00:02:03what am i doing
00:02:12so i tell her dude that's not a pickle that's an okra like seriously
00:02:21so she goes totally bonkers on my brother i mean i don't even know what i saw in him in the first place
00:02:27so how about you and i and you just excuse me for a moment be right back
00:02:38so i was thinking how about we get out of here and go back to my place sorry uh i'll be right back
00:02:53oh damn it i'm so sorry i'm so sorry oh my god
00:03:06oh my god asher yeah what are you doing oh you're drowning my sorrows you
00:03:12same do you want to grab a drink
00:03:18how did i ever lose touch with my undergrad bff uh life i guess we should vow to never let that
00:03:28happen again can you swear thank you friends forever stop doing that
00:03:38but we should vow to never let that happen again
00:03:40peace right thank you sweat friends forever stop doing that
00:03:52thank you oh what about work i actually just started a new job i'm doing marketing at genguard
00:03:59small world never biggest client no way wait what do you do i work at a software development startup
00:04:08hey what about your love life what about your love life oh my god years of bad sex with jerks a
00:04:27lifetime of one night stands with shallow women cheers mate
00:04:31how about we stop it no hey we're friends well if you ever do want a nerve-shattering orgasm i'm your man
00:04:47sex ruins everything yeah i suppose you're right
00:04:51i'll be your winged woman though you're now your winged man
00:05:11you
00:05:21i can't remember the last time i had this much fun i can't remember the last time i laughed this hard
00:05:47i think i think i peed myself a little bit i have that effect on women
00:05:58i forgot how pretty you are thanks i think
00:06:05let's never lose touch again
00:06:11friends forever
00:06:12friends forever
00:06:25Oh, my God.
00:06:55Oh, my God.
00:07:25Oh, my God.
00:07:35Let's do that again.
00:07:41Oh, my God.
00:07:48Oh, my God.
00:07:49What are you doing here?
00:07:51I don't know.
00:07:51What am I doing here?
00:07:53Oh, my head.
00:07:55My head.
00:07:57Feels like there's a bag of nails resting on my brain.
00:08:00Hey, that means since we're here.
00:08:08What?
00:08:08No.
00:08:09No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:08:10Bad idea.
00:08:11What?
00:08:12Last night was a bad idea.
00:08:15Why?
00:08:15Because, Asher, you're one of my best friends.
00:08:21Fuck, sex reminds everything.
00:08:25I suppose you're right.
00:08:28But still.
00:08:29But still.
00:08:30I have a proposition.
00:08:36What?
00:08:37Friends with benefits.
00:08:40Sex without strings.
00:08:43You do you, I do me.
00:08:46And we do each other.
00:08:51Interesting.
00:08:52Okay, sold.
00:09:03Fent of benefits.
00:09:04Benefits.
00:09:22And I'll need the marketing report for the fourth quarter.
00:09:38Hello, ladies.
00:09:40Asher?
00:09:44You two know each other?
00:09:47Yeah.
00:09:48We know each other from college.
00:09:50He's one of my best friends.
00:09:53What are you doing here?
00:09:54He's here to see my father.
00:09:56Wait, what?
00:09:57Daddy owns the company.
00:09:59I know.
00:10:00I actually own the company I work at.
00:10:03He's worth billions.
00:10:05And here I thought I knew everything about you.
00:10:07I've been busy since college.
00:10:09Clearly.
00:10:11Listen, I gotta run, but talk to you later?
00:10:16Sure.
00:10:17Good to see you, Beth.
00:10:18You too.
00:10:20Oh, what a man.
00:10:35What's this?
00:10:36I took the liberty of drawing up a forensic benefits contract.
00:10:41A contract?
00:10:41It outlines the parameters of our relationship.
00:10:44Okay.
00:10:45Article one.
00:10:47Nobody knows.
00:10:48It might get in the way of us seeing other people.
00:10:50Good point.
00:10:51Article two.
00:10:53We meet at a mutually agreed upon place, at a mutually agreed upon time.
00:10:56Okay.
00:10:58Article three.
00:11:00Honesty and transparency are a must.
00:11:02Agreed.
00:11:02Article four.
00:11:06No lies.
00:11:08No lies.
00:11:11Article five.
00:11:14Once one party sleeps with another person,
00:11:16the agreement is over.
00:11:18I don't like that one.
00:11:22Gets too complicated otherwise.
00:11:26Fine.
00:11:29And finally.
00:11:34Friends first.
00:11:37Friends first.
00:11:38Let's see.
00:11:44Let's see.
00:11:48Let's see.
00:12:48Stop it.
00:12:55Will you go out with me?
00:12:58What?
00:12:59On a date.
00:13:01Like, will you go on a date with me?
00:13:03A real one?
00:13:05No.
00:13:06I mean, no, the contract.
00:13:15Forget the contract.
00:13:17No, friends first.
00:13:19Remember?
00:13:21Sex, romance, it ruins everything.
00:13:23Usher, you mean way too much to me for that.
00:13:30Come on.
00:13:45Friends first?
00:13:52Friends first.
00:13:53So see you at seven tonight?
00:14:05Yes, you will.
00:14:06He asked me out.
00:14:21He asked me out.
00:14:23Breathe, Beth.
00:14:24Breathe.
00:14:25I've been crushing on him for so long.
00:14:28On Asher?
00:14:29Yes.
00:14:30He asked you out?
00:14:31Yes.
00:14:32On a date?
00:14:33Yes, yes, yes.
00:14:35Will you grab a coffee with me later?
00:14:36Because you two are such good friends.
00:14:38You can give me some tips.
00:14:40Oh.
00:14:42Um.
00:14:43Yeah, okay.
00:14:44I gotta go.
00:14:46Getting a money-penny ready for the big fight.
00:14:48I'm totally freaking out.
00:14:52Bye.
00:15:01Where was he born?
00:15:03Philadelphia.
00:15:05Philadelphia.
00:15:06Uh, favorite food?
00:15:08Um.
00:15:11He likes hot fudge sundaes.
00:15:13Oh, hot fudge sundae.
00:15:17I like your pen.
00:15:18I've never seen that color before.
00:15:20Daddy has a made-for-me special.
00:15:22It's my favorite color, heliotrope purple.
00:15:24Cool.
00:15:25What about sports?
00:15:28Beth, why don't you just ask him this yourself?
00:15:31On your date?
00:15:32I can't do that if I'm gonna marry this man
00:15:34who's gotta think we're meant to be.
00:15:38Marry?
00:15:40You got a problem with that?
00:15:43Why have the two of you never hooked up anyhow?
00:15:50Me and Asher?
00:15:54No.
00:15:55No, no, no.
00:15:55Never.
00:15:56He's...
00:15:57We're friends.
00:15:59We're best friends.
00:16:01Good.
00:16:02By the way, I love your outfit.
00:16:04Where'd you get it?
00:16:05Oh, Mason's on 3rd.
00:16:07It's super cute.
00:16:09Okay, let's carry on.
00:16:10Uh, siblings?
00:16:15And being an only child.
00:16:17I was an only child as well.
00:16:19Really?
00:16:20Cool.
00:16:22Anyhow, being an only child,
00:16:23my parents sent me to art camp in Philadelphia.
00:16:25I was born in Philly.
00:16:28Shut up.
00:16:29It's my favorite city.
00:16:31Where was the school?
00:16:34Um, I...
00:16:36Can I interest you in some dessert?
00:16:40Mm-hmm.
00:16:44How about we, um,
00:16:46share a hot fudge someday?
00:16:48That is my favorite dessert.
00:16:54I can't believe how much we have in common.
00:17:01I had a wonderful time.
00:17:04I really hope we can do this again.
00:17:07That would be great.
00:17:10Good night.
00:17:13Oh, my.
00:17:15Okay, thank you.
00:17:16I should really head out.
00:17:25Uh, take care.
00:17:26Why don't you come up?
00:17:29And I will fuck you.
00:17:31It's within an inch of your life.
00:17:33Oh, my God.
00:17:34Oh.
00:17:35Um, I don't think that would be such a good idea.
00:17:39Why?
00:17:40Because I've sworn off one-night stands.
00:17:42I'm a one-night stand.
00:17:46No, no, no, it, it, uh, that's not what I meant.
00:17:48It's just...
00:17:50Sex ruins everything.
00:17:53Let's wait.
00:17:55So it can be perfect.
00:17:58Yeah.
00:18:00There you go.
00:18:02Yes.
00:18:05Okay.
00:18:07Toodles.
00:18:08Beth?
00:18:16It was nice.
00:18:18We have a lot in common.
00:18:22Are you jealous?
00:18:26No.
00:18:26Did you, um, did you sleep together?
00:18:35No.
00:18:36But not for a lack of her trying.
00:18:39Beth?
00:18:40She's an animal.
00:18:42Oh, God.
00:18:43Stop it.
00:18:45Besides, I don't want to ruin our arrangement.
00:18:48Not for Beth, you don't?
00:18:49Yeah, my days of one-night stands are over.
00:18:52I want to wait, just in case she is the one.
00:18:56You never know.
00:18:58I want to get off on the right foot.
00:19:05I'm never getting married.
00:19:08I'm ready to settle down.
00:19:12Oh?
00:19:13You do you?
00:19:17To each his own.
00:19:18Oh, greed.
00:19:20Did you steal my fudge?
00:19:21Maybe.
00:19:21Give it back.
00:19:22Give it back.
00:19:23Come on.
00:19:24Mm-mm.
00:19:24It's not funny.
00:19:25Mm.
00:19:26Mm.
00:19:27It's my strawberry.
00:19:28All right.
00:19:28Ha.
00:19:31Mm.
00:19:34That was rude.
00:19:43Leanne Lamont, you do not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:11You will not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:15True love does not exist.
00:20:18You will only get hurt.
00:20:20He is your friend.
00:20:22Don't blow it.
00:20:24Friendship first.
00:20:26Leanne Lamont, you do not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:30You will not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:32True love does not exist.
00:20:34You will only get hurt.
00:20:36He is your friend.
00:20:37Don't blow it.
00:20:38Friendship first.
00:20:43Leanne Lamont.
00:20:44Hey.
00:21:02I'm so sorry.
00:21:07My bad.
00:21:07My fault.
00:21:19Hang on.
00:21:20You got a tissue?
00:21:21Hey, what are you doing?
00:21:22Stop cock-plucking me.
00:21:23Don't blow it.
00:21:24Oh, I didn't realize.
00:21:25Hey, Asher.
00:21:26Eric.
00:21:27Okay.
00:21:28Well, see you guys later.
00:21:30Here.
00:21:32Um, I'm Leanne, by the way.
00:21:33I'm Eric.
00:21:35I'm Eric.
00:21:37Thanks.
00:21:38Thanks, Eric.
00:21:39Thanks, Eric.
00:21:40Well, we're supposed to be surprised.
00:21:41I'll do some things to drink.
00:21:42Hey, Asher.
00:21:43You're not gonna be surprised.
00:21:44Hey, Asher.
00:21:45Eric.
00:21:46Okay.
00:21:47Well, see you guys later.
00:21:49Here.
00:21:51Um, I'm Leanne, by the way.
00:21:52Um, I'm Leanne, by the way.
00:21:55I'm Eric.
00:22:05That was fun.
00:22:07Yeah, was that fun, or was Eric fun?
00:22:12Both.
00:22:13Okay.
00:22:14You gotta watch out for him.
00:22:15He's a player.
00:22:17So what?
00:22:19Think I can't handle myself?
00:22:20No, that's not what I'm saying.
00:22:22Oh, my God.
00:22:26Are you jealous?
00:22:28No, I'm not jealous.
00:22:29Why would I be jealous?
00:22:30We're friends with benefits, remember?
00:22:34Yeah.
00:22:36You don't have to be a dick about it.
00:22:37Okay, I'm not being a dick.
00:22:39You're just making another bad choice.
00:22:44I can handle myself.
00:22:47Yeah, fine.
00:22:47Be that way.
00:22:48You know, maybe things are getting too complicated.
00:22:56Maybe we need to end this arrangement.
00:23:01Maybe you're so shut down that you can only date asshole men.
00:23:06Maybe you should go fuck yourself.
00:23:14Maybe I will.
00:23:18Yes.
00:23:18What are you doing here?
00:23:30Oh, my God.
00:23:36I'm Eric.
00:23:37What are you doing here?
00:23:46Had a meeting with Best Dad.
00:23:50Mr. Merrick?
00:23:52Yes.
00:23:56They're nice.
00:24:01Listen, um, I'm really sorry about last night.
00:24:06I was out of line.
00:24:07No.
00:24:09No, I was out of line.
00:24:14I'm so sorry about the slap.
00:24:18Oh, my God.
00:24:19Yeah, I deserved it.
00:24:25Friends forever?
00:24:28Friends forever.
00:24:32Dinner later?
00:24:36Sounds awesome.
00:24:36Someone's in a good mood.
00:24:57Oh, it's just...
00:24:59I'm just so happy.
00:25:02You know, Leanne, I think I like Asher a lot.
00:25:07I think he could be the one.
00:25:10Oh.
00:25:11I think I'm falling in love.
00:25:13You've only just started dating.
00:25:15Have you ever had a connection that's just so deep, so immediate, that you just know?
00:25:23Oh, yeah.
00:25:25Yeah.
00:25:25That's us.
00:25:29You know, he told me he wants us to wait for sex.
00:25:34He says he wants to build a strong foundation first.
00:25:37I hope you're jealous.
00:25:40I hope you aren't jealous.
00:25:42Oh, no.
00:25:44I don't know.
00:25:45I just want him to be happy.
00:25:47By the way, I love your lipstick.
00:25:49It's so unique.
00:25:51What color is it?
00:25:53Paris pink.
00:25:54I love it.
00:25:56Anyway, gotta go.
00:25:58Toodles.
00:25:58Why are you so down?
00:26:09What's wrong?
00:26:12Nothing.
00:26:14Famous last words.
00:26:16Is it attic?
00:26:19Of course not.
00:26:21How's Beth, by the way?
00:26:23She thinks that you're going to settle down with her.
00:26:26Yeah, you never know.
00:26:28Give me your hand.
00:26:32I'll tell you what's going to happen.
00:26:34Come on.
00:26:35Okay.
00:26:36Okay.
00:26:38This is your lifeline.
00:26:41It's long.
00:26:42So you have a nice, long life.
00:26:45Okay.
00:26:46This is your headline for wisdom.
00:26:49Mm-hmm.
00:26:50And looks like you have done some stupid things.
00:26:55And this is your love line.
00:27:01So you've got a rocky beginning over here.
00:27:06But you have a long line of love ahead of you.
00:27:09You want to go home and fuck?
00:27:33Great idea.
00:27:35Great idea.
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00:51:58Oh my God, this is crazy.
00:52:11I didn't write this.
00:52:13Heliotrope purple.
00:52:21It was Beth.
00:52:28Heliotrope purple.
00:52:28It was Beth.
00:52:34She's been trying to break us up all along.
00:52:37Oh my God.
00:52:38Huntington's had her day.
00:52:40I have to warn him.
00:52:41Come on, come on.
00:52:44Come on, come on.
00:52:44I'm sure.
00:52:46Okay.
00:52:48Come on.
00:52:54Shit, he blocked me?
00:52:56Beth.
00:53:21Beth?
00:53:23Oh, my God.
00:53:53Oh, my God.
00:54:23Oh, my God.
00:54:28She's insane.
00:54:31What are you doing here?
00:54:34Beth, you set me up.
00:54:39You've been trying to break us up, you bitch.
00:54:42I'd say you're in no position to be making accusations, but you're right.
00:54:47And I won.
00:54:50You stay away from me.
00:54:53You're insane.
00:54:57I'll scream.
00:54:58Nobody will hear you.
00:54:59I can't let you ruin my wedding, Leanne.
00:55:12I'm not going to ruin your wedding.
00:55:14I promise, Beth.
00:55:16Okay?
00:55:18You and Asher, or you're a great couple.
00:55:22He loves you.
00:55:26Why don't I just go away?
00:55:28I'll move.
00:55:30I'll quit my job.
00:55:31Just please.
00:55:34Beth, don't hurt me.
00:55:36Okay?
00:55:39I'm sorry, Leanne.
00:55:43But you've got to go.
00:55:50I'm sorry, Leanne.
00:55:54But you've got to go.
00:55:55Go on!
00:55:57No!
00:55:58I can't!
00:55:59No!
00:56:02Go, go, go, go.
00:56:08Go!
00:56:14Go, go, go!
00:56:22Ah.
00:56:29Ah.
00:56:52Don't bother.
00:57:12That pipe's in there good.
00:57:14You're not going anywhere.
00:57:18You're crazy.
00:57:20You're never getting away with it.
00:57:22Oh, but I will.
00:57:23See, I'm getting married today.
00:57:26And then we'll go on our honeymoon.
00:57:28And when I get back, you'll be dead.
00:57:32I hear starvation is a long and painful death.
00:57:40You bitch.
00:57:42You bitch!
00:57:44Oh, and by the way, you're fired!
00:57:50Toodles!
00:57:52Oh, my gosh!
00:57:56Oh, my gosh!
00:57:57Oh, my gosh!
00:57:59Oh, my gosh!
00:58:04So critical!
00:58:08Let's go.
00:58:38Let's go.
00:59:08Let's go.
00:59:38Let's go.
00:59:39Let's go.
00:59:40Let's go.
00:59:41Let's go.
00:59:42Let's go.
00:59:43Let's go.
00:59:44Let's go.
00:59:45Come on.
00:59:46Come on.
00:59:47Let's go.
00:59:48Let's go.
00:59:49Let's go.
00:59:50Let's go.
00:59:51Let's go.
00:59:52Let's go.
00:59:53Let's go.
00:59:54Let's go.
00:59:55Let's go.
00:59:56Let's go.
00:59:57Let's go.
00:59:58Let's go.
00:59:59Let's go.
01:00:00Let's go.
01:00:01Let's go.
01:00:02Let's go.
01:00:03Let's go.
01:00:04Let's go.
01:00:05Let's go.
01:00:06Let's go.
01:00:07Let's go.
01:00:08Let's go.
01:00:09Let's go.
01:00:10Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today in front of God and these witnesses to join
01:00:17in.
01:00:18Stop.
01:00:19What are you doing here?
01:00:22Keep going fast.
01:00:23What's going on, Beth?
01:00:24Security, take this woman away.
01:00:27She's clearly deranged.
01:00:29Come on, dearly beloved.
01:00:30We are gathered here today.
01:00:32Let's go finish it.
01:00:33Mr. Fallon, your daughter wrote this letter, not me, on which she forged my signature.
01:00:40What?
01:00:41It's completely absurd.
01:00:46Is this true?
01:00:47She's crazy.
01:00:48Security!
01:00:49She confessed to it all last night.
01:00:52Right after she tried to kill me.
01:00:57Asher, you love me.
01:00:58We're getting married today.
01:01:00Go, go, go!
01:01:03Go away, you crazy bitch!
01:01:05From ruining everything!
01:01:11Go away, you crazy bitch!
01:01:13From ruining everything!
01:01:15Beth, how could you?
01:01:17I did it for you, baby, for us.
01:01:19Get off me!
01:01:21Me.
01:01:26I will kill you.
01:01:27I won't kill you!
01:01:28Get off me!
01:01:30Get off me!
01:01:31Get off me!
01:01:32Get off me!
01:01:33Hey!
01:01:34No!
01:01:35No!
01:01:36No, no, no!
01:01:38No, no, no, no!
01:01:39I!
01:01:40Beth, I'll do it!
01:01:41Take me!
01:01:42Asher, I'll do it!
01:01:43I'll do it!
01:01:44I'll do it!
01:01:45I'll do it!
01:01:46Hey!
01:01:47You okay?
01:01:48Yeah, I think so.
01:01:49Okay.
01:01:50Good.
01:01:51Good.
01:01:52Good.
01:01:53Good.
01:01:54Good.
01:01:55Good.
01:01:56Good.
01:01:57Someone grab a chair.
01:01:58You okay?
01:01:59Yeah, I think so.
01:02:00Good.
01:02:01Okay.
01:02:02Good.
01:02:03Good.
01:02:04Good.
01:02:05Good.
01:02:06Good.
01:02:07Someone grab a chair.
01:02:08Babe.
01:02:09Hey.
01:02:10Wake up, babe.
01:02:11Baby, wake up.
01:02:12Hey.
01:02:13Hey.
01:02:14Wake up, baby.
01:02:15Hey.
01:02:16Wake up, baby.
01:02:17Hey.
01:02:18Wake up.
01:02:19Wake up, baby.
01:02:20Hey.
01:02:21Hey.
01:02:22Wake up.
01:02:23Wake up, baby.
01:02:24Leanne.
01:02:25Oh.
01:02:26Asher.
01:02:27Yes, it's me.
01:02:28And it's all over.
01:02:36I'm so sorry for everything.
01:02:37I'm more sorry.
01:02:38You saved me.
01:02:39You're my hero.
01:02:47I'm sure I love you.
01:02:50I love you, Leanne.
01:02:57Let me help you out.
01:02:58Uh, but before I take you to the hospital, I have a question to ask you.
01:03:17Will you marry me?
01:03:22Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
01:03:28They say that sex ruins everything, but sometimes it makes everything better.