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00:00Hello sir. So my name is Pradeep Mundi. I am a 30 year student from IIT Hyderabad. So
00:13my question is, in spite of being told that we shouldn't compare ourselves with others,
00:19it's told that everyone is different and they have their own journey. But still we tend
00:25to compare. I have seen my friends, my other colleagues. So people tend to compare themselves
00:31with others, even with the people who don't even know them personally. So my question is
00:37how to train our mind not to compare ourselves with others. So hope my question is clear.
00:46Yeah, the question is clear. See, comparing yourself with others might be a secondary problem
00:58rather. The more fundamental thing is, do you really know where you stand and what you must
01:09be? That comparison is primal. And if to facilitate that comparison you need to compare yourself
01:22with others, there is no harm in comparing yourself to others. But before any comparison
01:32comparison with an external entity, first of all, there has to be an internal evaluation.
01:42Where do I stand? Where do I stand? And am I happy with myself? So it's a comparison of
01:47yourself versus yourself. Let's say, let's say you are sick. And the others are almost dying.
02:01Does that really satisfy you? Does that heal your sickness? Comparatively you are better. But
02:14does that help you? It won't, right? So comparisons might serve a purpose, but they are rather peripheral.
02:26The first thing is to ask yourself, am I healthy? How do I compare my current state to my potential
02:41state of health? That inner comparison must come first. Are you getting it? And in the process
02:51of that inner comparison, sometimes it helps to see a healthy person outside of you. That healthy
02:58person reminds you of what you can be, what your own potential is. To that extent, comparing
03:04yourself with others is not such a big problem. But first of all, ask yourself, it doesn't matter
03:13where the others are. It doesn't matter what the world is doing. It doesn't matter how the world looks at me.
03:18It doesn't matter what kind of ranks I have in a comparative sense. Am I alright with myself?
03:25Because much before you live with anybody else, you have to live with yourself, no?
03:35You are the person you spend all your time with. Don't you?
03:42Yeah, it is correct. But one more thing, how we know that we are at correct place? So if I am at IIT, talking about professionally, so how I know if I am getting a company and I am happy with that, but is it the thing that where should I stop or where should I go more?
04:04And also one more thing, if I look at someone at same age, same college, same thing, but he is doing something more than me. In terms of money he is earning more than me or he is physically more fit than me. So that somewhere makes me low confident or maybe question myself. Am I doing wrong or right?
04:33So that is what I want.
04:36See, if you are not thirsty and you find someone gulping down an entire jug of water, does that encourage you to have a glass for yourself?
04:55No.
04:56But then thirst is something more easily perceivable. If you are thirsty, you know you are thirsty. The problem with inner thirst, mental thirst is that you have to be sensitive enough to experience it.
05:17We all remain internally thirsty, but do not even know of that. And that's the reason we keep consuming miscellaneous stuff when all we want is water.
05:30Metaphors apart, please understand what I am trying to say. The other fellow is earning more money. Don't you want to ask yourself how much importance does money hold for you?
05:46Let's say you get a lot of money. Let's say you get a lot of money. What will you do with it? Yes, you will win the comparison, right? The fellow was getting x and you got 1.2x. You won the comparison. Now what?
06:00What will you do with all that cash or whatever or stocks? What will you do with it? Has that really given you contentment in the past? And that requires that you spend time with yourself. You have to ask yourself, what is it that my inner self is really thirsty for?
06:30Your thirst will not be quenched by looking at all kinds of foods the others are consuming. In fact, if you are thirsty and the other one is biting into cheesy pizza and you too pick up a piece for yourself, that would only aggravate your thirst.
06:55So comparisons can actually be very harmful, counterproductive. I repeat, you have to live with yourself. Don't you want to ask yourself what do you want to do with your own life?
07:12And are things in life? And are things in life more precious than life itself? Everything that you have in life is an object in the space of life. So it's smaller than life itself, right? And you are living with yourself.
07:31Our education actually does not teach us to look into ourselves, which is extremely important. I call it the education of the self or life education.
07:49Your inner demand can never be the same as that of the one ahead of you or the one behind you, to the left of you, right of you. In that sense, you are a unique individual.
08:05A unique individual with unique needs. Those needs are trying to be met. But you cannot meet your needs if you do not even know what you need.
08:22And our education does not teach us that. There is neither an emphasis on knowing what we need, nor some kind of exposure to the methods through which one can know himself.
08:42Getting it? So my advice would be spend time with yourself. You are in your third year of B.Tech studies and because you are going to approach your placements, you are with this question.
09:03So, this is the time to isolate yourself a little from your environment. Because if you remain with that environment, that will carry you with itself.
09:15You will have no individuality. You would just be flowing with the stream. Not even flowing. You are being carried away like a dead object.
09:26That's what happens with almost everybody in the campus.
09:28Nobody really knows why he is appearing for a particular interview or applying to a particular company.
09:37You do it because everybody else does. And that's no way to live life.
09:42Rather, that's a very miserable way to live life.
09:49So, this is the time. Because once you get into a job, the job itself is like a heavy stream.
09:58The job takes you into a certain industry. And then that becomes your career. And then you find that because of one period of unconsciousness in the campus, even 20 years later, you are in the same industry doing the same kind of things.
10:17And all these things. And all these things are so very random, coincidental. And yet they become our destiny.
10:25That's quite a helpless thing to say.
10:29We should not let that happen.
10:31So, this is the opportunity.
10:33Before that thing becomes your random destiny, isolate yourself. Be with yourself.
10:41Don't get into the discussions among peers too much.
10:48Because probably they all will be talking about the same thing and in the same language.
10:52Ask yourself, what kind of life must I really have?
10:59And what would help in this process is that if you expose yourself to stuff that does not come from the IIT environment.
11:13Read the biographies or the autobiographies of the great people of the world.
11:22See how they made their decisions.
11:25You will be exposed to other dimensions.
11:27You will realize these placements and such things are not really as big as they appear in the campus environment.
11:36And this is the time actually to be very well read.
11:43I understand you cannot read a hundred books in the coming three months.
11:48How soon are you sitting for your placements?
11:52Mostly within 12-14 months.
11:55So, you have time. Thankfully you have time.
11:58Read a lot.
12:01Read a lot.
12:02And you now have YouTube.
12:04So, watch a lot of interviews from people who really have lived remarkable lives.
12:16And pay special attention to how they were in their youth.
12:21How they made decisions as students and as young professionals.
12:25Do not just keep listening to the batch mates and the hostel mates and all the gossip and the mess.
12:42That's an eco-chamber.
12:44There is nothing new in it.
12:46That takes you nowhere.
12:46Everyone is saying the same thing endlessly.
12:51The same concerns, the same worries, the same tensions, the same hopes.
12:55The same names, the same companies, the same faces.
12:58That does not tell you of anything new or fresh.
13:01There is no improvement by remaining in those circles.
13:06You already have had probably enough of them.
13:08So, get into something fresh.
13:13You have an ear.
13:14Make the most of it.
13:16Read, read, read as much as you can.
13:19And from there, a new kind of insight emerges.
13:24Also, talk to people.
13:27Talk to people who are not usually accessible within the campus.
13:32See how you can approach them.
13:36Have more discussions like the one you are having right now.
13:43Right?
13:44And then, in a very unpredictable way.
13:49And in an unfathomable direction, something new opens up.
13:58You cannot plan it out in advance.
14:06It is not something you can see or forecast as you sit here right now.
14:14All you can do is you can give yourself the environment in which insight and clarity emerge on their own.
14:24That environment is everything.
14:28So, you have had enough of gossiping and frolicking.
14:38Maybe it is the time to confine yourself a little.
14:42Give yourself a bit of isolation.
14:44I am not saying that you need to totally quarantine yourself from everybody else.
14:49What I am saying is you need to give ample time to yourself.
14:52Obviously, because you would be in your classes, probably in the hostel also, if you are a hosteler.
14:59So, you would be interacting with the general environment.
15:03And that is okay.
15:04But give many, many hours to yourself and to the great people of the world.
15:10Great people from all walks of life.
15:12From sports, politics, science, technology, everything.
15:18Even religion, spirituality.
15:24See how they were in their youth.
15:28Read their autobiographies.
15:30That really helps.
15:32Read the letters that they wrote.
15:35Read their conversations.
15:36And if you can get a few recordings, nothing like that.
15:42Though when it comes to, you know, the ones who are not exactly recent, recordings are impossible to get.
15:50But still.
15:51Don't let the drift carry you away.
16:04That's my very strong advice.
16:07I have seen batches after batches.
16:13Just get into the same kind of careers and same kinds of life.
16:18And just totally losing it.
16:20Your life is the one opportunity that you have.
16:24There is nothing before it or after it.
16:26It's not to be squandered away.
16:32Cracking the J.E. is one thing.
16:35And making good decisions for yourself after that is a totally different thing.
16:42It is quite possible that you enter the campus as J.E.1.
16:47And still make terrible decisions for yourself.
16:51In fact, it is not only possible.
16:56It is most probable.
17:02So be careful.
17:03Thanks a lot, sir.
17:05Thanks a lot, sir, for answering.
17:06Yeah.
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