Genre: Horror, Comedy, Mystery When 24-year-old Jason Hochberg arrives for counsellor weekend at his beloved Camp Pineway, his biggest problem is feeling out of touch with his teenage co-workers. Little does he know; a masked killer has murdered camp owners John and Kathy and is preparing to strike again.
#HorrorComedy #SummerCampSetting #SlasherMystery #MaskedKiller #ComingOfAgeHorror #CounsellorsInDanger #TeenHorror #SurvivalThriller #DarkHumor #MurderMystery
#HorrorComedy #SummerCampSetting #SlasherMystery #MaskedKiller #ComingOfAgeHorror #CounsellorsInDanger #TeenHorror #SurvivalThriller #DarkHumor #MurderMystery
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:31Wait.
00:00:54Ow! My hand!
00:00:55Sorry there was a bug on you. I'm sorry.
00:00:57Oh my God!
00:00:58I'm sorry!
00:01:00There was a bug.
00:01:01Okay, so swat it with your hand. Those things hurt.
00:01:03Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
00:01:12Ow!
00:01:13I'm sorry. There was another bug.
00:01:15Just wipe it away with your hand.
00:01:17There's gonna be bugs. We're at the lake.
00:01:19Honestly, I think that they're attracted to the tuning.
00:01:21You don't think that this is just where they are?
00:01:23No, it's just that your guitar playing, it sounds like shit.
00:01:27What do you want to hear?
00:01:30Play Pine Way.
00:01:32It's too early for that. I'm saving it.
00:01:34No! Practice!
00:01:37Fine.
00:01:39Let's all go to Pine Way.
00:01:49Good times at Camp Pine Way.
00:01:54Through the trees and to the lake.
00:01:58Songs we sing and friends we make.
00:02:02Every morning that we wake up, Pine Way is the best.
00:02:12Yay!
00:02:17We did it.
00:02:18Ow! I thought you were gonna kiss me!
00:02:21I'm going to get more beers!
00:02:23Of course there.
00:02:24Of course there要 burn,
00:02:26I'll do it.
00:02:27We'll do it.
00:02:33There is...
00:02:35Thanks shows a lot.
00:02:37�
00:02:51What happened to the music?
00:03:05I zap your strumming hand too hard.
00:03:11Oh my fucking God!
00:03:21Oh my God!
00:03:33Fuck.
00:03:35Okay.
00:03:51I see you later.
00:03:53This is your three soul dinosaur.
00:03:55Look at all some of the Titanic.
00:03:58My lord!
00:04:00I know you're always a god.
00:04:03Jesus.
00:04:05My lord!
00:04:08If you don't like my dog, I will.
00:04:11I'm not sure if you stop the Titanic.
00:04:13I'm not sure if I could be the Titanic.
00:04:15I'm not sure if I could find it.
00:04:18I remember finding out about you
00:04:24Every day my mind is all around you
00:04:33Hey!
00:04:41Are you okay?
00:04:43I was cold.
00:04:48I can't help but feel this is about the internship.
00:04:55Why?
00:04:56Do you want to do it?
00:04:57No.
00:04:57Because it's not too late for me to turn around.
00:04:59Mom.
00:04:59All you have to do is just call up the firm and explain yourself.
00:05:02Mom!
00:05:03It's a legitimate career opportunity.
00:05:05So is this.
00:05:06John and Kathy specifically asked me to come back this year.
00:05:09Oh, give me a break.
00:05:10This isn't anything.
00:05:12You're 24 years old and you're still going to summer camp.
00:05:15I'm working at camp.
00:05:18It's a job.
00:05:20A hundred dollars a week is hardly employment.
00:05:27Only up to 115.
00:05:48Welcome home.
00:06:11I'm sorry I was harsh earlier.
00:06:20It's just you've got to start thinking about your future.
00:06:24I am thinking about my future.
00:06:27I mean, I have my whole life to be a lawyer.
00:06:29But how many summers does a guy get to spend here, huh?
00:06:37A lot, apparently.
00:06:39The puka's not dumb, right?
00:06:52What?
00:06:52No, I love the puka.
00:06:54Puka's great.
00:06:54Puka's good?
00:06:55Yeah, puka's great.
00:06:56Great.
00:06:56Well, I mean, if you're feeling hesitant about it, can I just wear one?
00:06:59No, I'm going to wear the puka.
00:07:00Okay.
00:07:01I just want to make a good first impression.
00:07:03I mean, this summer's going to be huge for us.
00:07:05I feel like you said that last summer.
00:07:06Yeah, but now we're counselors.
00:07:08Do you have any idea how much more likely it is that counselor chicks are going to hook
00:07:11up with us?
00:07:11A lot, hopefully?
00:07:12Yes, exactly.
00:07:13A lot, hopefully.
00:07:15I mean, at the very least, we're going to hook up with some older campers, right?
00:07:18Women are attracted to power.
00:07:23Highway, you beautiful bitches!
00:07:25Woo!
00:07:25Let's make this the best counselor weekend yet!
00:07:28Woo!
00:07:29Yeah!
00:07:30Am I right, fuck?
00:07:31Which way are we going?
00:07:32Highway!
00:07:33Which way are we fucking going?
00:07:35Highway!
00:07:36Yes, man, yes.
00:07:38Fuck yes.
00:07:38I love your car.
00:07:41Where's Demi?
00:07:42Demi!
00:07:53Hi, Jason!
00:07:56What's up?
00:07:56You need a hand?
00:07:58Actually, that would be amazing, yeah.
00:08:00We can...
00:08:09Could you be careful with this?
00:08:10Sorry, Demi.
00:08:11Okay, see you.
00:08:15Yeah, it's great to see you, too.
00:08:18It's just...
00:08:20It's so good to be back.
00:08:23You know what they always say?
00:08:25You can't spell Pineway without E-way.
00:08:29What?
00:08:30Because I can't stay E-way from this place!
00:08:34Okay, cool.
00:08:39Yeah, well, I'm really excited that you're back.
00:08:41You, too!
00:08:43Total...
00:08:43Bye-bye!
00:08:45Get it.
00:08:46Ah, this door.
00:08:47It's a pesky door.
00:08:48Hey, guys, it's DeeDee.
00:08:56You guys have been asking for another tutorial,
00:08:58so today I'm going to teach you how to do the perfect...
00:09:01and find out.
00:09:03Yes, that's so cool.
00:09:04Well, what's the reason I've had to do the perfect...
00:09:06is that I've had to do the perfect...
00:09:07I've had to do it...
00:09:08but I've had to wait for another tutorial.
00:09:09So, hello, you can see...
00:09:11I've had to do it.
00:09:12It's the best of me.
00:09:12It's the best of me.
00:09:13I'm going to talk to you about it.
00:09:14Bravo!
00:09:21Hey, Ezra!
00:09:24Jason, I didn't think you were coming back this year.
00:09:27Yeah, well, John and Kathy needed my help, so...
00:09:32Actually, so do I.
00:09:35We're doing a gritty reimagining of Pinocchio this year.
00:09:38Very political.
00:09:39And I think that you may be perfect for the role of old man Geppetto.
00:09:43Oh, no, I'm not really much of an actor.
00:09:46Oh, no, no, no, but you have a fascinating quality, Jason.
00:09:49There's something deeply sad and broken about you.
00:09:52I think it'll come across nicely on stage.
00:09:55You're welcome.
00:09:56Now, auditions aren't for a couple of weeks, but I just wanted to plant the seed.
00:10:00And Jason!
00:10:02This is not going to be the greatest theatrical production in Pineways history.
00:10:08Boo!
00:10:10I guess the whole film is just, like, an allegory, you know, for how traumatic experiences just affect you in general.
00:10:21I mean, shit, Shannon, I don't even know if you know this, but I grew up with a mildly severe nut allergy.
00:10:25Yeah, yeah, I think you might have mentioned it.
00:10:27So even though the character is a schizophrenic lore photographer, it's, uh, it's a very personal story.
00:10:33Yo!
00:10:34Which way are we going?
00:10:35Pineway!
00:10:36I said, which way are we going?
00:10:38Mike already did it.
00:10:39What are you, what?
00:10:40When?
00:10:41I mean, we're in the middle of something here, dude.
00:10:42Oh, no, we aren't.
00:10:43Hi, Chris!
00:10:44Hey, Shannon.
00:10:45Okay, time out.
00:10:46I'm sorry.
00:10:47It's 9.42.
00:10:48Arrival's supposed to be at 9.45.
00:10:49I was going to be one to do it.
00:10:50Yeah, and I also wanted Shannon to read my screenplay, but, like, looks like we both can't get what we want.
00:10:54Fuck.
00:10:55It's just a stupid chant.
00:10:56Anyway, who cares?
00:11:00I knew you should have let me drive.
00:11:01Dale says you're a reckless driver.
00:11:03Fuck, Dale.
00:11:04Whoa!
00:11:05Dale's been a great stepfather to me and my mom.
00:11:07Whatever.
00:11:09Oh, Bobby, I'm sorry, man.
00:11:11I didn't mean to come out like that.
00:11:13Your mom will find someone, man.
00:11:14I know it!
00:11:20Hey, stranger.
00:11:25Holy shit.
00:11:27Hey.
00:11:28Hey.
00:11:29Hey.
00:11:30You having trouble?
00:11:33Yeah, I think the handle's, like, jammed or something.
00:11:36Runk 9 is always a tricky one.
00:11:38Yeah.
00:11:39You said to lift, jiggle, and then pull.
00:11:42Yeah, I'm trying that.
00:11:44Jiggle.
00:11:45Oh, oh, may I try?
00:11:47Yeah.
00:11:50Oh, show off.
00:11:53You-you loosened it.
00:11:55I like the beard.
00:11:57Oh, thank you.
00:11:58I was trying-trying something new.
00:12:00Yeah.
00:12:01Wait, why'd you come back?
00:12:03Um, well, John and Kathy needed extra help, so, yeah.
00:12:07I don't really see why it's such a big deal.
00:12:09It's not a big deal.
00:12:11Oh, okay.
00:12:12Yeah, I'm just surprised,
00:12:14because last year you said you weren't coming back.
00:12:16Right, but...
00:12:18And you were, like, crying.
00:12:20I don't think I was crying.
00:12:22You were definitely crying.
00:12:24You were, like, sobbing.
00:12:25You gave that end of an arrow speech.
00:12:28Okay, but the point is, like, I'm back,
00:12:31and I'm better than ever, so...
00:12:34How are you?
00:12:35How-how-how have you been?
00:12:37Good, uh, pretty good.
00:12:38I, um, started seeing someone.
00:12:41Ooh!
00:12:42Romance for Claire.
00:12:44Right.
00:12:45I love it.
00:12:46Yeah, he broke my heart, so...
00:12:47Oh, yikes.
00:12:48I'm sorry.
00:12:49It's fine.
00:12:50It was, like, three weeks ago, so...
00:12:52So, still fresh.
00:12:54Yeah, I don't...
00:12:55Yeah, I guess.
00:12:56Huh.
00:12:57Yeah, I wasn't gonna come back either,
00:12:59but I thought it might be good to, like,
00:13:01get away for a while.
00:13:03Yeah, perfect place to...
00:13:05clear your head.
00:13:06Get him out of your mind.
00:13:08Erase him from your memory.
00:13:10Totally, yeah.
00:13:12Right.
00:13:15Why didn't you guys break up?
00:13:17Oh, maybe we could talk about it some other time?
00:13:19Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:13:20That's cool.
00:13:21Totally.
00:13:22Totally.
00:13:23Maybe I'll catch you up on my love life,
00:13:24but I hope you have a lot of time.
00:13:27Just kidding.
00:13:28Yeah, I know.
00:13:29Yeah.
00:13:33Have you seen, um, John and Kathy?
00:13:36Nope.
00:13:37Huh.
00:13:38I'll see you later.
00:13:39Yeah, see you soon.
00:13:43John and Kathy were out there.
00:13:52Hello there.
00:13:55Here's Jason!
00:14:03This is the best part.
00:14:21I'm just walking away now, you know,
00:14:22and you gave me a ticket or whatever the fuck.
00:14:24I turned around and I'm like...
00:14:27Officer, I forgot something.
00:14:30Forgot to mention, I'm a liar.
00:14:33Bam!
00:14:34360 kick to the face.
00:14:35You just drop like that.
00:14:36Guys!
00:14:37Guys!
00:14:38There's been a robbery!
00:14:39What?
00:14:42So, the four Jacks all got together
00:14:44and they decided to rob a bank.
00:14:46No, no, no, no magic.
00:14:47Just keep...
00:14:48No magic, man.
00:14:49Stop.
00:14:52Fine.
00:14:53Let's cut straight to the biz.
00:14:55Kathy and John aren't here yet,
00:14:56but they've asked me to take over the position of camp leader.
00:14:59That's not a real position.
00:15:00So, anyways, I know a few of you are first-time counselors
00:15:03and campers arrive in a couple days,
00:15:06so you may be a little nervous,
00:15:08but I'm a six-year veteran myself
00:15:10and if there's anything that you need,
00:15:12any questions that you have,
00:15:14do not hesitate to ask.
00:15:15You are in very safe hands.
00:15:17Capisce?
00:15:20Miley!
00:15:21Yes, thank you.
00:15:22What's the vegan option for dinner tonight?
00:15:24Oh, I meant more about being a counselor.
00:15:29But, um, yeah, don't worry.
00:15:32I can, I can grill a mean tofu burger.
00:15:35Namaste. Thank you.
00:15:37Very well.
00:15:39So, as you all know, phones go in the basket.
00:15:45I know, it seems like a bummer now,
00:15:48but how refreshing is it to get a chance
00:15:51to take a break from social media?
00:15:53I mean, in this day and age, how fair is it?
00:15:55Let's get fucked up.
00:15:56Yeah, let's, let's get effed up.
00:15:58But let's also remember,
00:16:00the camp has very strict policies against partings.
00:16:02Just no drinking, no smoking,
00:16:04and, um, uh, most importantly,
00:16:07no Game of Thrones spoilers!
00:16:09I brought sunscreen!
00:16:15Are you coming?
00:16:34Buzzsaw!
00:16:51Ahoy!
00:16:54I've heard that's a real page-turner.
00:16:56Huh?
00:16:59Your book.
00:17:01Are you clairvoyant as well?
00:17:03No.
00:17:04Um, unfortunately not.
00:17:06But, I just saw you sitting here all alone and, uh...
00:17:09I'm not alone.
00:17:14Certainly.
00:17:15If it's gonna be 942, then just say 942.
00:17:16I mean, don't specify 945 in an email and expect me to, what,
00:17:21anticipate an early arrival?
00:17:22And Mike's never early.
00:17:23And Mike's never early.
00:17:24Chris?
00:17:25Chris?
00:17:26Chris?
00:17:27Chris?
00:17:28Hey, Shannon.
00:17:29Oh, hey!
00:17:30How's it going?
00:17:31How's it going?
00:17:32Yeah.
00:17:33Hold on, I have to...
00:17:34Hold on, I have to...
00:17:35I'll do it like that.
00:17:36All right.
00:17:37No, no, no, no.
00:17:38No, no, no.
00:17:39No, no, no, no.
00:17:40No, no, no, no.
00:17:41No, no, no, no.
00:17:42No, no, no, no.
00:17:43No, no, no, no.
00:17:44No, no, no.
00:17:45You're terrible!
00:17:46You're terrible!
00:17:47And Mike's never early.
00:17:48Chris?
00:17:49Chris?
00:17:50Hey, Shannon.
00:17:51Oh, hey!
00:17:52How's it going?
00:17:53Hello.
00:17:54Yeah.
00:17:55Hold on, I have to...
00:17:56I'll do it like that.
00:17:58All right.
00:17:59No, no, no.
00:18:06Fuck.
00:18:07I think the sights are off on this or something.
00:18:11Is that possible?
00:18:12Maybe.
00:18:13There?
00:18:14Yeah.
00:18:15Mm-hmm.
00:18:16Mm-hmm.
00:18:17Mm-hmm.
00:18:36Christ.
00:18:37Yep!
00:18:38You don't win Pineway Champion runner-up
00:18:40four years in a row without...
00:18:42slinging a few bows.
00:18:44Oh, is that why you're back?
00:18:46Oh.
00:18:47Do you want to finally win one?
00:18:48No, no, no.
00:18:49Who do you think I am?
00:18:50I don't care about that kind of stuff.
00:18:53Although...
00:18:54I have to be this year's favorite, right?
00:18:57I mean, I don't think I've ever heard of someone
00:18:59winning runner-up five years in a row.
00:19:02No, I don't...
00:19:03think anyone's come close.
00:19:05Yeah.
00:19:06Do you think it's a little bit suspicious that John and Kathy
00:19:11aren't here yet?
00:19:13Suspicious?
00:19:15I mean...
00:19:17they specifically asked me to come back,
00:19:20and now they're not even here?
00:19:23I don't know.
00:19:24They'll be back in a couple days.
00:19:27Come on.
00:19:28Claire.
00:19:30What?
00:19:31I think they're seeing if I can run the camp without them.
00:19:37Why would they do that?
00:19:39Well, they have to hire somebody new.
00:19:43They can't spend every summer here all summer.
00:19:46I mean, they have lives outside of Pineway.
00:19:49Yeah, what about you?
00:19:51That's what I'm saying.
00:19:52I've got to be the most qualified person for the job.
00:19:54No, I mean, like...
00:19:56what about your life outside of Pineway?
00:19:59Oh.
00:20:01Yeah, I-I-I don't know.
00:20:04It was just a thought.
00:20:06That's so dumb.
00:20:07I cannot hold it up.
00:20:11Okay.
00:20:13Um...
00:20:14Do you think you could help me with my, like, form?
00:20:16Or whatever?
00:20:17I would love to.
00:20:18Totally.
00:20:19Okay.
00:20:20Um...
00:20:21Here.
00:20:22Again, and...
00:20:23Um...
00:20:24Is there...
00:20:26Uh, try not to think of it as a pull back.
00:20:28Try to think of it as a push forward.
00:20:34Push forward...
00:20:37And...
00:20:40Let go.
00:20:42Yeah!
00:20:46Yeah!
00:20:50Hey.
00:20:51What's up?
00:20:52Is Chris seeing anyone?
00:20:55I'm actually pretty busy right now, so...
00:20:57How is this busy?
00:20:59Hey, Debbie.
00:21:01Whoa.
00:21:02Is that your car, Bobby?
00:21:04Yep.
00:21:05No.
00:21:06No.
00:21:07That's not his car.
00:21:08What?
00:21:09It's Chris's car.
00:21:11Why are you washing Chris's car?
00:21:12What?
00:21:13Are you washing Chris's car, Bobby?
00:21:15Well, technically, it's his stepdad's car.
00:21:20Okay.
00:21:22I'm gonna go.
00:21:24Aww.
00:21:26Cock block.
00:21:27Ew.
00:21:28You know she's dating Mike.
00:21:30For now.
00:21:31Well, for probably a long time.
00:21:32What does he see in you?
00:21:33Wait, Chris says he sees something in me?
00:21:35Oh.
00:21:36Oh, baby.
00:21:37You got yourself.
00:21:40Have you ever been in love?
00:21:45So long it couldn't end.
00:21:50Did you ever break a heart, baby?
00:21:52Without you?
00:21:54Or did you ever lose a friend?
00:21:56I'm a friend.
00:21:59Baby.
00:22:01I want your love tonight.
00:22:06To make my kids feel light.
00:22:11Oh, baby.
00:22:12Hey, pal.
00:22:14Is everything okay?
00:22:17Yeah.
00:22:20I just thought this summer was gonna start a little differently.
00:22:24Don't I know it.
00:22:26But you know what they say?
00:22:28A bad day at Pineway is better than a good day anywhere else.
00:22:33It's a long summer.
00:22:35And you're in the best place in the world.
00:22:38Yeah.
00:22:40Yeah, you're right.
00:22:42Thanks, man.
00:22:43My pleasure.
00:22:45I'm Bobby.
00:22:46What?
00:22:47I know.
00:22:48Oh.
00:22:49And you are?
00:22:50Seriously?
00:22:51We've gone to camp together for eight years.
00:22:54Holy shit, Matt.
00:22:55No.
00:22:56Jason.
00:22:57Jason?
00:22:58Jason.
00:22:59Jason Hochberg.
00:23:02I don't think I know you, dude.
00:23:03You definitely, absolutely do.
00:23:05I was one of your bunk counselors two years ago.
00:23:08Jason.
00:23:12No.
00:23:13That's fine.
00:23:14That's totally fine.
00:23:15You know what it is?
00:23:16I got a gym membership this past spring and I've been trying really hard to lose all this weight.
00:23:20So, in a weird way, the fact that you don't recognize me is actually a compliment.
00:23:23Good to see you.
00:23:24Wait.
00:23:25Jason.
00:23:26Jason.
00:23:27Of course.
00:23:28Jason Hochberg.
00:23:29No, you look pretty much the exact same.
00:23:30I just forgot you existed.
00:23:31Okay.
00:23:32Wait.
00:23:33Weren't you not gonna come back this summer?
00:23:34I want a tofu burger, please?
00:23:45Well done or bloody?
00:23:47Just kidding.
00:23:48I don't.
00:23:49That's disgusting.
00:23:51Sorry.
00:23:52Coming right up.
00:23:53You mind if I join you?
00:24:06You don't eat meat?
00:24:07Meat?
00:24:08Oh, God, no.
00:24:09No.
00:24:10People who eat meat disgust me.
00:24:11They should be slaughtered if you ask me.
00:24:14I say that same exact thing all the time.
00:24:16I, um, I had no idea you felt like that.
00:24:19Yeah.
00:24:20Well, I try to let my actions speak for themselves, you know.
00:24:23Two years vegetarian and proud.
00:24:25You do realize how disgusting the dairy industry is, right?
00:24:28Like, you might as well be eating meat if you're drinking milk.
00:24:30Drinking milk.
00:24:31Jinx.
00:24:32You didn't let me finish.
00:24:33Um, two years vegetarian and proud.
00:24:35Eighteen months vegan and prouder.
00:24:38You couldn't wait to eat?
00:24:40He literally is making you a burger.
00:24:41Why are you monitoring what I eat?
00:24:42Like, I don't understand.
00:24:43God.
00:24:44What is going on, everybody?
00:24:45What?
00:24:46She is being wildly insensitive to my condition.
00:24:47Wait.
00:24:48Is this true, Claire?
00:24:49Of course not.
00:24:50I'm, like, eating a fucking granola bar 25 feet away from you
00:24:53and you start freaking out.
00:24:54By the way, it doesn't have nuts in it.
00:24:56Okay?
00:24:57See?
00:24:58That's good.
00:24:59No nuts.
00:25:00That's like if I held a gun to you for five minutes.
00:25:01Like, relax, Ari.
00:25:02Doesn't have any bullets in it.
00:25:03It's nothing like that because one is a gun
00:25:06and the other is a stupid nut allergy.
00:25:08Ooh.
00:25:09Okay, she did not mean that.
00:25:10Yeah, I do.
00:25:11Ah.
00:25:12Twenty-six percent.
00:25:15What?
00:25:18Kids who have allergies are 26% more likely
00:25:21to develop social anxiety than those without.
00:25:23Did you know that?
00:25:24Huh?
00:25:25No.
00:25:26No.
00:25:27I didn't know that.
00:25:28Right.
00:25:29Enjoy your privilege.
00:25:32Ugh.
00:25:36That's actually so funny that you say that because
00:25:39I'm a Scorpio.
00:25:40Like Ron Gosling.
00:25:41Ew.
00:25:42Um.
00:25:43I hate Scorpios.
00:25:45What?
00:25:46Miley, no.
00:25:47Don't go.
00:25:48Miley.
00:25:49Like Gosling.
00:25:51Like Gosling.
00:26:22O-oh.
00:26:35Almighty God.
00:26:37Mike, have you seen my other lash curler?
00:26:58I literally just saw it.
00:27:00I am trying to get ready before the bonfire, and I'm not even close.
00:27:05Hello, Mike?
00:27:07Hey, you listen to this?
00:27:34I'm a liar.
00:27:35So, you just knocked him out?
00:27:37Out cold, with one shot?
00:27:39Yeah, I mean, like, thank God I did.
00:27:41Otherwise, I'd still be in shit.
00:27:43This guy knocked out a fucking cop, bro.
00:27:45Yes, that's sick.
00:27:47No, it's not sick, okay?
00:27:50I have a great deal of respect for the police.
00:27:52So you kicked one in the head?
00:27:54I wasn't thinking, man.
00:27:56I'm kind of an idiot.
00:27:57No, you're not an idiot.
00:27:59You kind of are, though.
00:28:00I mean, you kicked a cop.
00:28:02He could have shot you.
00:28:03Oh, well, this was a semester.
00:28:04Oh, it's to be a spooky story.
00:28:06Jesus Christ, Jason.
00:28:08And Mike's in the middle of a story, dude.
00:28:09Continue, Mike, please.
00:28:12I don't even remember where I was at.
00:28:15I'll just start over again.
00:28:17So he reaches for his cuffs, and I say, I forgot to mention, I'm a liar.
00:28:22I'm a liar.
00:28:52Yeah, yeah.
00:28:53You shouldn't, like, leave your door open.
00:28:57I wanted a little air.
00:29:01Okay.
00:29:03Why aren't you at the fire?
00:29:04Uh, well, I should probably be planning some more group activities for tomorrow.
00:29:10Plus, I just don't really think that they want me there.
00:29:14Fuck that.
00:29:17You're allowed to have fun, too.
00:29:18Even if you are trying to, like, be professional or get hired or whatever.
00:29:26You can still have fun.
00:29:29Why aren't you at the bonfire?
00:29:31Because they're, like, insufferable.
00:29:35That's not fair.
00:29:37Claire.
00:29:39Ezra's doing monologues.
00:29:40Ooh.
00:29:41Mike is shit-faced.
00:29:45Bobby keeps telling everyone he's gonna jump the fire on his BMX.
00:29:49What?
00:29:49That sounds incredibly reckless.
00:29:53He could die.
00:29:54I know.
00:29:55You wanna come watch?
00:29:58Do you think they'll have weenies there?
00:29:59What?
00:30:01Do you think they'll have weenies grilling on them?
00:30:03Why aren't you saving hot dogs?
00:30:04It's much more fun to save weenies.
00:30:07What's wrong?
00:30:10Um, it's nothing.
00:30:13Nothing.
00:30:13Too much tongue?
00:30:14No.
00:30:14Not enough tongue?
00:30:15No.
00:30:16Eh?
00:30:17No.
00:30:18Oh.
00:30:18Okay, great.
00:30:20Um, are you going to maybe tell Bobby about this?
00:30:27Yeah.
00:30:33Yeah.
00:30:34Yeah, I think I will.
00:30:36Yeah, I figured.
00:30:37Wait, he's just my best friend, Shannon.
00:30:40No, I know he's your best friend, but, like, he's also kind of an asshole.
00:30:44Oh, no, no, no.
00:30:45He just looks and acts like one.
00:30:50Come on, you got this.
00:30:54It's just fire.
00:30:57Man, he's definitely not doing this.
00:31:02I know.
00:31:02Hurry up!
00:31:07Come on, now.
00:31:09Fire can't burn a dragon.
00:31:15Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
00:31:19Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby,
00:31:26Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby
00:31:56I don't need you.
00:32:18I won't do this.
00:32:26I won't do this.
00:32:56I hate you.
00:33:03It's Beyond Meat.
00:33:15Is someone there?
00:33:24It's Mike.
00:33:26Hello?
00:33:33Well, we were talking by the fire and then we went behind the bunk and eventually stuck into
00:33:52the red group.
00:33:53And?
00:33:54Does head mean anything to you?
00:33:58No way.
00:33:59She blew you?
00:34:00What?
00:34:01No, no, no.
00:34:02I blew her.
00:34:03When?
00:34:04We were watching Spider-Man 2 on the VCR and he just went down on me.
00:34:08Wait, isn't that like two hours?
00:34:10And seven minutes.
00:34:11How the fuck is that fair?
00:34:13I've seen the movie like a hundred times.
00:34:14No, what?
00:34:15That you blew her first.
00:34:16In nine out of every ten straight relationships, the woman performs the first sexual favor
00:34:21on her male partner.
00:34:22How's that for unfair?
00:34:23Why do you know that?
00:34:25And?
00:34:26He's studying gender studies at school next year.
00:34:30He's the perfect guy.
00:34:32You're an absolute sucker, man.
00:34:34Hey, Chris!
00:34:35Hey, man.
00:34:36Bobby!
00:34:37Fellas!
00:34:38Um, I'm just doing the rounds and making sure everybody is cool-y-ew.
00:34:54I have a couple of amazing group activities planned for tomorrow.
00:34:58So, try to get a good night's rest and I'll see you in the morning.
00:35:01That sounds great, but, um, we were actually planning on going to the rec room soon and I
00:35:05imagine we might be there for a long time.
00:35:06So, maybe just count us out of those group activities.
00:35:09Um, hey, Dems.
00:35:12Don't you worry, a lot of amazing group activities planned for tomorrow.
00:35:17Um, we're supposed to be serving at 3.30-inch.
00:35:21Let's be there.
00:35:22At least one.
00:35:24Yeah.
00:35:25Next shirt.
00:35:31Hey, Dem.
00:35:36Missed you at the bonfire.
00:35:38I'm just coming around telling everyone about a couple of fun activities we have planned for tomorrow.
00:35:44So, uh, breakfast is at 8.30 sharp.
00:35:48And, uh...
00:35:54Hello?
00:36:00Demi!
00:36:03I'm coming in!
00:36:05Are you decent?
00:36:07Oh, she says I love you.
00:36:21Oh, she says I care.
00:36:24Oh!
00:36:25She's dead!
00:36:26She's dead!
00:36:28I went down to Demi's bunk!
00:36:32She's been killed!
00:36:34What's going on?
00:36:35Ah!
00:36:36Jason's saying that Demi's been killed.
00:36:40You guys stole my fucking murder mystery party idea, didn't you?
00:36:43No!
00:36:44I'm being serious!
00:36:45We-we have to get out of here!
00:36:47I pitched this idea months ago, okay?
00:36:49We need to get help!
00:36:51We-we-we need to call the police!
00:36:53Jesus, alright, go get the phone!
00:36:57Oh, no!
00:36:59Someone stole the phone!
00:37:01Jason, you're pushing a little bit, okay?
00:37:04But I do appreciate the dedication to this performance.
00:37:06Everybody!
00:37:07Please!
00:37:08Oh, Jason!
00:37:09Stop talking right now!
00:37:13Demi is dead in her bunk!
00:37:15We're not safe here!
00:37:17We need to leave!
00:37:19Right now!
00:37:20Right now!
00:37:28We really should not be going back here!
00:37:32Is anyone else getting peckish?
00:37:33There's burgers in the kitchen.
00:37:35Guys!
00:37:36Come on!
00:37:37Where is she?
00:37:38She was just right there!
00:37:52It could be stage blood.
00:37:54Definitely Demi.
00:37:56Oh!
00:38:00Oh!
00:38:01Oh!
00:38:02Oh!
00:38:03Oh!
00:38:04Fuck!
00:38:05Oh, my God!
00:38:06Go!
00:38:07Go!
00:38:08Go!
00:38:09Go!
00:38:10Go!
00:38:11Go!
00:38:12Go!
00:38:13I can save four people!
00:38:14Shut down!
00:38:15Oh
00:38:29Yeah, we need to go we need to go
00:38:39Oh, fuck they'll just got these installed fuck it. Let's go start
00:38:45Fuck mine too. What is happening right now? Demi's been murdered and there's a killer on the wound
00:38:58What?
00:39:00Nobody leaves this bunk
00:39:02Okay, we're safe in here. What about Miley?
00:39:06She's still out there and Mike. Oh, yeah him too. Fuck they weren't with you guys. We're gonna die. We're all gonna die
00:39:11No, we're not gonna die. We're gonna be okay. Okay, because Demi's been slaughtered
00:39:16Mike and Miley are probably next and none of us have our phones. What about the landline? Yeah, there's one in the meal hall
00:39:22Brilliant probably cut whoever did this took our cell phones killed our car. You don't think they thought of that, too
00:39:26Maybe they did but we have to try
00:39:29Fuck that. We don't have to do shit. If you want to try that's your death wish. Don't be a dick are you?
00:39:33You did not see Demi's bunk, okay? It was a bloodbath. I'm not going back out there. Me neither
00:39:37Fine, I'll go. No, you can't go do that alone because it's too dangerous. Yeah, it's way too dangerous. Bobby, why don't you go with him?
00:39:49Oh, you'd love that wouldn't you? What's that supposed to mean? I don't want to fucking go out there. Yeah, no one does, but he can't go alone
00:39:56These are completely shuffled totally random
00:40:08The two lowest cards come with me, okay? Wait, are aces high or low? Hi
00:40:15When are aces ever low? Okay, bitch. How about if you get an ace you get to pick if it's high or low?
00:40:19Who the hell would pick low? I don't know. It's just a thought. Aces are high, okay?
00:40:24Three, two, one. Queen! Yes! Eight of clubs? Did anyone get lower than a three?
00:40:34Miley? Mike?
00:40:52Guys? Miley?
00:40:57Mike? Should we just go back now and tell them that the phone didn't work?
00:41:01Mike? Ugh, fine.
00:41:15I'm just glad I packed this. A fucking bear didn't kill Demi.
00:41:21We can't rule it out completely.
00:41:22I threw a tofu burger into the woods earlier.
00:41:31A bear probably ate it and hated the taste so much, he decided to go for the real thing.
00:41:36Human flesh.
00:41:37I'm afraid so.
00:41:39What do you guys think burgers are made of?
00:41:49The line's been cut.
00:42:08I've always wanted to say that.
00:42:09What? Is the line actually cut?
00:42:11Oh, yeah. No, this thing's not gonna work at all.
00:42:25I don't care.
00:42:28It's amazing.
00:42:28I do it.
00:42:31I think that's good.
00:42:36I want to talk to you.
00:42:38Like this one.
00:42:40I want to be with you.
00:42:41I think your friend that is even if you've been doing this.
00:42:44I don't know.
00:42:45I wanna talk to you.
00:42:47I can.
00:42:48I want to try to keep you in the way.
00:42:49I don't think so...
00:42:50I don't know if you want.
00:42:51If you want to be honest, I'm like you.
00:42:52No!
00:43:00No!
00:43:02No!
00:43:08No!
00:43:10No!
00:43:16No!
00:43:18No!
00:43:20Jason, what happened?
00:43:22You okay?
00:43:23Where is everyone?
00:43:24I don't know.
00:43:25We were in the meal hall looking for the phone.
00:43:26Did it work?
00:43:27No, but then, Ari...
00:43:28Got attacked by a bear.
00:43:30No, what?
00:43:31Shut the fuck up. Just let him finish.
00:43:33He opened the fridge.
00:43:35Miley's head was in there.
00:43:37Next thing I know, they're sprinting away.
00:43:39I-I-I didn't know what to do,
00:43:41so I just ran back as fast as I could.
00:43:43I thought they'd come back too.
00:43:50Maybe they still will.
00:43:52We're gonna be all right.
00:44:02Jon and Kathy will be here soon,
00:44:05and they're going to call for help.
00:44:08We're going to be all right.
00:44:16John and Kathy will be here soon,
00:44:19and they're going to call for help.
00:44:20What are we going to do until then?
00:44:23Stay in here.
00:44:24Fuck.
00:44:25I knew we should have packed my nunchucks.
00:44:27Oh, so now it's not a bear?
00:44:28I don't know, Shannon.
00:44:30No one knows what we're dealing with here.
00:44:35I know how we could get some answers.
00:44:38Oh, okay.
00:44:42Everybody, join hands together.
00:44:44We're going to bless the board.
00:44:50I'd like to sit this one out, if that's okay.
00:44:52Everyone in the room has to be holding hands.
00:44:54Oh, then I'll leave the room.
00:44:55What's up, man?
00:44:56I don't fuck with ghost shit.
00:44:57Do you fuck with getting brutally murdered outside?
00:44:59That's kind of a waiting question.
00:45:00Just grab someone's hand.
00:45:02Fine.
00:45:04Can I at least sit between two chicks?
00:45:08Hello, spirits.
00:45:12We are not here to hurt you.
00:45:13We just want to talk.
00:45:15All spirits are welcoming.
00:45:16Whoa, whoa.
00:45:17Maybe not all spirits.
00:45:19Quiet.
00:45:22Ezra's with us.
00:45:24I call upon you, Ezra.
00:45:26I'm going to ask a yes or no question.
00:45:29Are you dead?
00:45:30That's a bit of a softball.
00:45:32Shh.
00:45:33Let me answer.
00:45:41Yes.
00:45:43Who did this to you?
00:45:49I...
00:45:50T...
00:45:53E...
00:45:56K...
00:46:00He doesn't even know.
00:46:04Wait, I...
00:46:05I sense a new spirit here.
00:46:10Demi.
00:46:11Oh, my God.
00:46:14Demi?
00:46:14Who killed you?
00:46:16Come here.
00:46:42Oh.
00:46:43Help!
00:46:44Help me!
00:46:46Fuck you, bitch!
00:46:48Let him fuck you!
00:47:16No!
00:47:20No!
00:47:21No, no!
00:47:22No, no, no!
00:47:23Please!
00:47:26No!
00:47:27No!
00:47:28No!
00:47:29No!
00:47:30No, no, no, no!
00:47:31No!
00:47:32Stop!
00:47:33Stop!
00:47:34No!
00:47:35Help!
00:47:36Let him get the murdered!
00:47:39Let him get the murdered!
00:47:41Ezra, are you okay?
00:47:48No! Do I look okay?
00:47:50I can't see. I've been blinded.
00:47:52I'm so sorry, dude. I thought you were the killer.
00:47:54You screamed ghost.
00:47:56I didn't know for sure.
00:47:57Fuck you, Bobby.
00:48:08What happened? Where were you?
00:48:11Well, when I saw Miley's decapitated head flop over in the fridge,
00:48:17I suppose my survival instincts kicked in.
00:48:20I closed my eyes and ran to the one place that I've always felt safe, the theater.
00:48:26But as I was lying there, alone, in the dark, under the boards,
00:48:32it came to me.
00:48:35What came to you?
00:48:36The identity of the killer.
00:48:42The killer isn't some deranged woodsman or psychiatric hospital escapee.
00:48:48The killer is someone that we all know.
00:48:54Someone who waited for the perfect opportunity to exact their revenge.
00:48:58The killer is...
00:49:04Jason!
00:49:07What?
00:49:08Jason Hoshberg.
00:49:10He's the killer.
00:49:11No, no, no, no.
00:49:12Wait, wait, wait.
00:49:12Whoa!
00:49:13What the fuck?
00:49:14Claire, stay back.
00:49:15He's the killer.
00:49:15I'm not R2.
00:49:16I'm not R2.
00:49:17Ah!
00:49:18Get off of him!
00:49:19You're the one who took our phones.
00:49:20Yeah.
00:49:21It's camp policy.
00:49:22And you're the one that found Debbie's body.
00:49:23Yeah.
00:49:24That was a coincidence.
00:49:25And you're like 40 fucking five and you still go to summer camp.
00:49:27Yeah!
00:49:28I'm only 24!
00:49:29Say it for the jury!
00:49:30Get off of him!
00:49:31Claire, enough.
00:49:32He clearly hates himself so he snapped and started killing off the hottest counselors.
00:49:36Wait, what?
00:49:37Time out.
00:49:38We don't know that.
00:49:39That's subjective.
00:49:40Uh, no, we do.
00:49:41It's obvious.
00:49:42You guys are fucking insane.
00:49:43I agree with Claire.
00:49:44He's definitely killing Aranda.
00:49:45I'm not killing at all!
00:49:46He's not the killer!
00:49:47Yes, he is.
00:49:50I have gotten nothing but weird energy from him ever since we got here.
00:49:53You get weird vibes from me?
00:49:54Are you kidding me?
00:49:55If anyone's a killer, it's probably her!
00:49:57Hey!
00:49:58Hey!
00:49:59Hey!
00:50:00Don't bring Noelle into this, okay?
00:50:01She's a fucking sweetheart.
00:50:02Apologize to Noelle.
00:50:03Let me out.
00:50:04I'm sorry.
00:50:05Noelle, I'm really sorry.
00:50:06I didn't mean that at all.
00:50:08But guys, you're making a huge mistake here.
00:50:12I'm not a killer.
00:50:14I'm Ja-
00:50:20Okay.
00:50:21If he doesn't break soon, we're gonna have to torture him.
00:50:24I agree.
00:50:27No!
00:50:28No!
00:50:30No!
00:50:31You're gonna tell me where you hit the phone?
00:50:32No, no, no, no, no, no!
00:50:33Okay.
00:50:34Okay.
00:50:35You see how it is?
00:50:36You'll be talking soon enough.
00:50:38No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:50:40No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:50:41No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:50:45Hey, Bobby, you coming?
00:50:46I wanna keep an eye on Jason.
00:50:49Good call.
00:50:50Do you want anything like a snack or something water would be great actually water great Jason anything
00:50:58So yourself
00:51:02They're like no good torture weapons in here. Can we look for milk or something? I can't see anything there's water
00:51:08Hey, so you're gonna use plastics or the real killers
00:51:20Did I ever say something to you I mean did I do something that made me deserve this
00:51:29Jason went nuts started killing all the hot kids
00:51:35And I wasn't one of them
00:51:38How's that supposed to make someone feel
00:51:45Demi makes sense Miley I understand
00:51:50But Mike what
00:51:54Wrong place wrong time
00:51:56I mean, I guess he has a nice body, but it's mostly genetic. I mean, I'm an ectomorph, which means that it's
00:52:04Let's get out of here. What are you doing?
00:52:06We'll be back any second. Yeah, that's why I'm fucking untying you. Oh, did I hurt you? No, no, just be careful around my face
00:52:11Okay, don't say ow if I didn't hurt you
00:52:14Wait, did I make you that one?
00:52:16The green and yellow one? Yeah
00:52:20He gave me that two summers ago. You kept it? Of course. Oh, no, no
00:52:25I got it
00:52:27Would you go? Yeah
00:52:37Hey, what the fuck?
00:52:39What's happening?
00:52:40Jason and Claire are running away
00:52:41What? We didn't even torture you yet
00:52:43Fuck you guys
00:52:44I'm not not cool guys, but I brought waters
00:52:48Fuck god damn it
00:52:52How'd they get past bobby?
00:52:55Fine stay dehydrated
00:52:57Sorry guys, I'll go get more
00:53:02Okay
00:53:09Poor Claire
00:53:10No, I tried to warn her
00:53:13But I mean she's gonna be okay, right?
00:53:15Please, he's probably chopping her up as we speak
00:53:17Ezra
00:53:17What? He cut Miley's head off
00:53:20Like off
00:53:23There's just no knowing the depths of that man's evil
00:53:28I just hope everybody's okay
00:53:30Claire, maybe we should go back
00:53:33We can explain ourselves
00:53:35They were getting ready to torture you
00:53:38And they probably feel terrible about that now
00:53:40I bet they're really embarrassed
00:53:42No, I don't think that they are
00:53:44But they know I'm not the killer
00:53:47Shannon said it herself
00:53:49What are you talking about?
00:53:51I overheard her saying that she didn't think I was capable of doing something like that
00:53:55Physically
00:53:59Like she didn't think that you could physically do that
00:54:04Oh
00:54:05Yeah, like she didn't think that you could overpower anyone
00:54:10Right
00:54:11It just doesn't make any sense
00:54:18I mean
00:54:19I was lying there unconscious practically begging for him to kill me
00:54:24And he didn't even lay a finger on me
00:54:26I mean
00:54:28Am I that ugly to him?
00:54:30You know, I wouldn't take it personally dude
00:54:31He's a sick sick man
00:54:33And if he had any taste he would have killed you a long time ago
00:54:35Thanks ma'am
00:54:36Okay, this is ridiculous
00:54:38We should be out there looking for our phones
00:54:40Wrong
00:54:41We should be waiting for John and Kathy
00:54:43No, but we don't know how long this is going to be
00:54:45What, you want to wait until tomorrow afternoon?
00:54:46Tomorrow night?
00:54:47What if they don't make it at all tomorrow?
00:54:49Then what happens to your genius plan?
00:54:50Nobody knows that shit went fucking haywire
00:54:54Sorry
00:54:55You're making me nervous
00:54:57Shannon's right
00:54:58We can't keep sitting here doing nothing
00:55:03Yeah
00:55:05Let's go find the phones
00:55:07I just can't believe Poppy didn't even recognize me at all
00:55:11Pineway champion runner-up four years in a row
00:55:13And he had no clue who I was
00:55:15Like does he not even look at the bottom of the frames?
00:55:18What?
00:55:18This place looks familiar
00:55:22Okay
00:55:23Then why do I have to be quiet?
00:55:26Oh, I know that tree
00:55:29You know that tree?
00:55:33What do you mean?
00:55:34Yeah
00:55:34It's make out point
00:55:37Ma- yeah
00:55:39Oh yeah
00:55:41Okay
00:55:41Yeah, make out this
00:55:42Yeah, this is make out point
00:55:46You've never been here before?
00:55:47No, I've been here
00:55:49Yeah
00:55:49It's just um
00:55:51At first it looked a little
00:55:53Different
00:55:54Is all
00:55:57It's actually
00:55:57You know
00:55:58It's crazy how much
00:56:00This foliage changes
00:56:03Over the course of a year
00:56:05Um
00:56:05Mm-hmm
00:56:06I'm surprised that you've been here
00:56:10You're surprised?
00:56:12No, not surprised
00:56:14I mean I'm impressed
00:56:15It's what I
00:56:15Not
00:56:16Not a
00:56:17I don't mean impressed
00:56:18Like in a
00:56:19I just mean like you probably come here all the time
00:56:22We're not all the time
00:56:23I mean normal time
00:56:25Like you come here like when it's
00:56:28Um
00:56:29Like a good amount
00:56:30Like it's like you
00:56:31No
00:56:32No, you're right
00:56:33I like
00:56:33I practically live here
00:56:35Like I'm sure
00:56:47Jason?
00:56:48I don't know.
00:57:18I don't know.
00:57:48Finally.
00:57:55Finally.
00:58:25I don't know.
00:58:32What is that?
00:58:37It's Sean and Kathy.
00:58:44Come on.
00:58:46We have to go.
00:58:48Jason, we have to go.
00:58:55We have to go back.
00:59:00What the fuck are you talking about?
00:59:03We have to get help.
00:59:04They were the help.
00:59:05Everyone thinks that they'll be there tomorrow.
00:59:08Right.
00:59:09Which is why we need to go and we need to go get the police.
00:59:11It's 30 miles before us.
00:59:12We won't make that.
00:59:13We have no choice.
00:59:15What are we supposed to do?
00:59:17Like we go back there and do what?
00:59:19We have to try.
00:59:20We have to try.
00:59:21Just stop.
00:59:22Be real with yourself for one second, okay?
00:59:25If we go back there, we are going to die.
00:59:29Then you go.
00:59:31You go.
00:59:33Try and get help.
00:59:35I just...
00:59:37I can't.
00:59:39I can't leave them.
00:59:41They, like, think that you are the killer.
00:59:43They were about to torture you.
00:59:45Yeah, but they're just scared.
00:59:47They don't mean that.
00:59:48No.
00:59:49They are assholes.
00:59:50You don't owe them anything.
00:59:51You don't owe them your life.
00:59:57I'm supposed to be camp leader.
00:59:59Yeah, you made that up.
01:00:01That doesn't mean it's not true.
01:00:10Just...
01:00:11Stay with me.
01:00:15Please.
01:00:31I'm sorry.
01:01:01I'm sorry.
01:01:02I'm sorry.
01:01:03I'm sorry.
01:01:04I can't wait.
01:01:05I can't wait.
01:01:06I'm sorry.
01:01:08I can't wait.
01:01:09I can't wait.
01:01:10I can't wait.
01:01:11I can't wait.
01:01:12I know we have to get back to work.
01:01:13Noelle?
01:01:19Oh my.
01:01:22God.
01:01:31you guys are alive guys get in here this is amazing i can't believe you guys are alive
01:01:38jason told us that he killed you wait what jason told you that he killed us no he said that you
01:01:44were dead but then we found out that he's the killer which is why we decided to kill him
01:01:50but you killed jason no he got away where'd he go into the woods
01:01:55i'm just really glad that you guys are okay me too
01:02:06what the is going on why do they think it's jason hey i can't focus on you look this good
01:02:14are you kidding me can you keep it in your pants for like five minutes the plan is going to
01:02:18shit babe relax we're fine i mean i know it's not what you wanted but maybe it's not the worst idea
01:02:28we blame it on him ouch i knew you were gonna pitch out i fucking knew i'm not bitching out we killed
01:02:35them to get famous and you want to turn back now i'm not gonna let jason get all the credit for my
01:02:40hard work i i know i know but i've been thinking about it and i don't want to spend the rest of my
01:02:45life in a jail cell i want to be with you okay cute and i don't want to spend the rest of my life
01:02:51as a nobody as a babe think about what would happen if we did blame him a young hot couple survives a
01:02:59serial killer we'd be huge okay it let's do it yes yes thank you thank you okay but we have to kill
01:03:11them all we'll figure something out i am not competing for camera coverage
01:03:31all right here's the plan we're gonna sit tight and wait for help to arrive in the morning
01:03:38we'll all take turns keeping watch all night and if we stick together everything's gonna be okay
01:03:48now this angel over here had a great idea to leave a little video behind just in case things go
01:03:56sideways demi babe take it away
01:04:01hey guys it's demi tonight something really up happened this guy named jason freaked out and
01:04:11started killing everyone he killed miley um probably noel inari too you think you know someone you know
01:04:21i knew it was him from the start jason hoshberg is a demented individual he is vile monstrous despicable
01:04:29and scary jason's a really scary guy yeah i had a i had a few close calls with the guy
01:04:37real psycho he kept saying that there was no reason behind the attacks he really wanted
01:04:42everyone to know that they were totally random okay great thanks guys i think we have everything we need
01:04:50mike can you see anything no it's getting really scary no i wish we had night vision goggles dude i feel
01:05:06like i say that all the time me too
01:05:20my
01:05:34my mistress with a monster is in love
01:05:50near to her close and consecrated bower whilst she was in her dull and sleeping hour a crew of
01:05:57patches rude mechanicals who work for bread upon athenian stalls
01:06:02is that good i don't rude mechanicals who work for bread upon athenian stalls
01:06:07intended for great theseus's nuptial day the shallowest no no no um were met together to rehearse a play
01:06:17intended for great theseus's nuptial
01:06:19what's wrong what run run run behind you what where stage left
01:06:26we need to get the fuck out of here shannon's still in there chris we need to leave right now
01:06:39i gotta go man she's the one
01:06:50way too soon sometimes you just know i'll meet you back outside
01:06:59you're a fool christian
01:07:09you're a fool
01:07:22you're a fool
01:07:26shannon
01:07:38where's chris i thought he was with you
01:07:51you went back to get you
01:08:04fuck he's gonna die in there we have to go back and get him
01:08:08you're a fool
01:08:23jason jason
01:08:24oh good you're like
01:08:34right because the whole thing yeah i just couldn't have anyone wondering where i was
01:08:41if i take off the gap do you promise not to freak out i need you to tell me where claren
01:08:54that's what i need to do
01:08:57help help me
01:08:58help help me
01:09:00no one can hear you bruce
01:09:00help help
01:09:24I don't know.
01:09:54Oh, God.
01:10:17Oh, that's so bad.
01:10:20There's so much blood.
01:10:21Shannon, there's so much blood.
01:10:23Oh, God, this is bad.
01:10:26That's so much worse than I thought it was going to be.
01:10:28I can't do this.
01:10:29I can't do this.
01:10:30Chris will be fine.
01:10:31No, no, what?
01:10:32You fucking idiot.
01:10:33We have to get Chris now.
01:10:34I don't want to get Chris.
01:10:35He could be anywhere.
01:10:36Jason's right there.
01:10:37Bullshit tickets are...
01:10:39Fuck it, I'll die.
01:10:40Wait, wait.
01:10:41I'm going to go in.
01:10:44Before I do,
01:10:44I just want to say that you probably don't deserve him.
01:10:49Oh, fuck you.
01:10:50No, but I definitely don't deserve him.
01:10:53I know.
01:10:54At least you've got a chance.
01:10:57I'll handle the killer.
01:10:59You just get Chris and you both get out of here.
01:11:00No.
01:11:00Yes.
01:11:01No, Bobby.
01:11:01Yes, I don't want to hear.
01:11:02It's what I have to do.
01:11:04It's suicide.
01:11:04Why would you say that?
01:11:09What did I say?
01:11:09It's suicide.
01:11:10I'm going to try to hype myself up
01:11:11to have this big heroic moment
01:11:13and now I'm really set-guessing myself.
01:11:14Sorry?
01:11:16It's fine.
01:11:18Just think next time
01:11:19before you say something like that.
01:11:26Hey, fuck this.
01:11:29What's up?
01:11:32Fuck!
01:11:34Chris.
01:11:41Chris, where are you?
01:11:44Chris.
01:11:45Shannon.
01:11:46I'm up here.
01:11:48Chris, where the fuck did you get to the castle?
01:11:49Let's go.
01:11:51Spock.
01:11:52Come on, come on.
01:11:52Let's go.
01:11:54Are you okay?
01:11:57You came back for me.
01:11:58Well, yeah.
01:11:59I wasn't going to let you die.
01:12:02Okay, let's go.
01:12:03I love you.
01:12:04What?
01:12:05Nothing.
01:12:06Nothing.
01:12:07Yeah, let's go.
01:12:19Where's Jason?
01:12:22That's not Jason, you fucking idiot.
01:12:24Jason's probably already dead.
01:12:27Oh, fuck.
01:12:28Mike?
01:12:30You miss me?
01:12:31No, you classically handsome piece of shit.
01:12:33Claire, get out of here.
01:12:35Go find Jason.
01:12:36I'll deal with this asshole.
01:12:39Demi.
01:12:41What are you doing?
01:12:42I know you.
01:12:44I know you.
01:12:45This isn't you.
01:12:51You're right.
01:12:54It's...
01:12:54It's Mike.
01:12:58Mike's making me do this.
01:12:59I don't...
01:13:01What?
01:13:01I don't want to do this.
01:13:03I don't want to do this.
01:13:04Oh, my God.
01:13:06My hormonal female brain, it can't speak for itself.
01:13:10I'm so indecisive.
01:13:12And thank God a strong man came along and convinced me to murder people.
01:13:17Are you fucking kidding me?
01:13:19What?
01:13:21You think that Mike made me kill people?
01:13:24No one can make me do anything.
01:13:27Bitch.
01:13:29Oh.
01:13:39Oh, it's happened.
01:13:42Oh, my fucking bitch.
01:13:47Oh, shit.
01:14:01Come here.
01:14:06Oh, fuck.
01:14:09Oh, come on.
01:14:17Why are you doing this to me?
01:14:29Why frame me?
01:14:31Why me?
01:14:32Why?
01:14:32Why?
01:14:33Ew!
01:14:35Jason!
01:14:36So pathetic.
01:14:38Don't get mad at me.
01:14:39Get mad at them.
01:14:40They're the ones that blamed it on you.
01:14:43I was supposed to get all the credit.
01:14:45Are you kidding me?
01:14:46Do you even know how long it took me to plan everything?
01:14:49I've been fantasizing about killing you fucking losers for years.
01:14:56I'm honestly a little jealous of you.
01:14:59You're going to be even more famous than me.
01:15:05You're so lucky.
01:15:11Don't fucking move.
01:15:13You're so lucky.
01:15:13You're so lucky.
01:15:14You're so lucky.
01:15:14You're so lucky.
01:15:15Oh, come here.
01:15:29Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
01:15:35Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
01:15:40Ah!
01:15:41Fuck, what the fuck?
01:15:42Oh, you fucking bitch.
01:15:47Ah!
01:15:49Oh, fuck you.
01:15:52Ah!
01:16:00Ah!
01:16:05Oh, what the fuck?
01:16:08You fucking hard right now?
01:16:10Shut the fuck up.
01:16:11The fuck?
01:16:11Don't fucking look at that.
01:16:13Look away.
01:16:14Okay.
01:16:15Look the fuck away.
01:16:16I'm not looking.
01:16:17This ain't even for you, man.
01:16:19Okay.
01:16:20Shut the fuck up, man.
01:16:21You will never get it.
01:16:22You will never fucking understand.
01:16:24Do you know how good pussy is after killing someone?
01:16:27What?
01:16:27Do you know how good pussy is after fucking killing someone?
01:16:34Is it that much better?
01:16:34Ah!
01:16:35Fuck you, that sounds fucking dope.
01:16:37I get it, man.
01:16:38I fucking get it, so I'll fucking help you or something, man.
01:16:41I could, like, be your guy's third or something.
01:16:44Not like that.
01:16:44I didn't mean it like that.
01:16:45I won't fucking touch her, man.
01:16:46I would never fucking dream of doing that.
01:16:48I'm going to fucking clean up the bodies.
01:16:49I'll fucking mop up the body.
01:16:50And if it gets really fucking horny,
01:16:52is what I'm saying?
01:16:52I'll fucking rub one out or something.
01:16:54It doesn't matter.
01:16:54Don't fucking kill me, Michael.
01:16:56Shut up!
01:16:57I forgot to mention.
01:17:00I'm a liar.
01:17:01Put the knife down!
01:17:20I said don't move.
01:17:21I will slit his throat.
01:17:26No.
01:17:27It's over, Claire.
01:17:29You have to let her kill me.
01:17:31What?
01:17:33No.
01:17:36You were right.
01:17:38Everyone was right.
01:17:39I shouldn't be here.
01:17:42I mean, look at me.
01:17:43I'm a grown-ass man who still goes to summer camp.
01:17:47You have to move on.
01:17:50You have to push forward.
01:17:54Push forward.
01:17:57It's time to let go.
01:18:01Let go, Claire.
01:18:06Claire.
01:18:10Let go!
01:18:12Hi.
01:18:17You okay?
01:18:18Nice shot.
01:18:19Yes.
01:18:20Just glad you're okay.
01:18:23You wearing eyeshadow?
01:18:24Fucking bad!
01:18:26Oh, fuck.
01:18:36Bobby.
01:18:38Bobby.
01:18:38Let's all go to fine way.
01:18:47Let's all go to fine way.
01:18:48Find times that can't find way.
01:18:55Through the trees and to the lake.
01:19:00Falls we sing and friends we make.
01:19:09Every morning that we wake up.
01:19:17Our way is the best.
01:19:23We are so glad you're here.
01:19:24We are so glad you're here.
01:19:24We are so glad you're here.
01:19:26We are so glad you're here.
01:19:26We are so glad you're here.
01:19:28We are so glad you're here.
01:19:30We are so glad you're here.
01:19:30We are so glad you're here.
01:19:32We are so glad you're here.
01:19:33We are so glad you're here.
01:19:33We are so glad you're here.
01:19:34We are so glad you're here.
01:19:35We are so glad you're here.
01:19:36We are so glad you're here.
01:19:37We are so glad you're here.
01:19:38We are so glad you're here.
01:19:39We are so glad you're here.
01:19:39We are so glad you're here.
01:19:40We are so glad you're here.
01:19:41We are so glad you're here.
01:19:42We are so glad you're here.
01:19:42I'm sorry, I forgot who you were earlier.
01:20:05That's okay.
01:20:06I knew you weren't the killer.
01:20:08Actually, that's not true.
01:20:09I thought you might have been the killer for a second there,
01:20:11but I didn't know Mike was still in the picture.
01:20:13That's okay.
01:20:16Here.
01:20:20I want you to have this.
01:20:24Wow.
01:20:31But why did you do that?
01:20:33That's really dangerous.
01:20:34You're never supposed to pull out a blade.
01:20:36Shh.
01:20:38You deserve it.
01:20:39Bobby, you need to put pressure on that.
01:20:42Like, seriously.
01:20:43Here.
01:20:44Hand up, please.
01:20:46Good boy.
01:20:49When people ask about me,
01:20:52tell them that I died a hero's death.
01:20:54You're not going to die from this.
01:20:55Yes, I am.
01:20:56No.
01:20:57Actually, tell them they killed me first because I was hot.
01:21:01Bobby, you're not going to die from this.
01:21:03The wound's only, like, two inches deep.
01:21:07Well, yeah.
01:21:11Well, that's the thought that counts.
01:21:18Listen, it's been a crazy night.
01:21:20Um, and it made me realize that after almost dying, uh...
01:21:25Chris, I...
01:21:26It's...
01:21:27I don't love you.
01:21:29I mean, I like you a lot.
01:21:32And I really care about you.
01:21:34It just...
01:21:35I don't love you.
01:21:36I mean, maybe down the line, I could love you.
01:21:37I don't love you either.
01:21:38That'd be fucking insane.
01:21:40Yeah, that'd be fucking insane.
01:21:41You're right.
01:21:42You're totally right.
01:21:43But you do like me, though, right?
01:21:49Yes.
01:21:49Idiot.
01:21:51Yes, it is.
01:22:01Hey.
01:22:04You all right?
01:22:06Mm-hmm.
01:22:07Yeah.
01:22:15Thank you for coming back.
01:22:17Yeah.
01:22:20I knew you'd be fucked without me.
01:22:26Is Bobby gonna be okay?
01:22:29Don't worry.
01:22:30This isn't my blood.
01:22:31This is Mike's blood.
01:22:33I beat him.
01:22:34Good job.
01:22:35Actually, a good amount of it is my blood, too.
01:22:38Oh.
01:22:40Yeah.
01:22:41He'll be...
01:22:42He'll be fine.
01:22:43That's good.
01:22:44He'll be fine.
01:22:45He'll be fine.
01:23:05So...
01:23:06I figure...
01:23:09next year...
01:23:11I'm really gonna...
01:23:13I have to take on more responsibility here.
01:23:18It'll be a publicity nightmare for sure,
01:23:20but if we could spin it the right way...
01:23:22Jason.
01:23:25I'm kidding.
01:23:28I'm just fucking with you.
01:23:30I'm, you know, fucking with you, bro.
01:23:33Ew. Don't call me bro.
01:23:36So what are you gonna do now?
01:23:45When I think of all the good times that I've wasted,
01:24:07having good times.
01:24:10When I think of all the good times that's been wasted,
01:24:16having good times.
01:24:21When I was drinking,
01:24:25I should've been thinking.
01:24:29When I was fighting,
01:24:33I could've done the right thing.
01:24:37All of that boozing.
01:24:42I was really losing
01:24:45good times.
01:24:49Good times.
01:24:52When I think of all the good time that's been wasted,
01:24:57having good times.
01:24:59When I think of all the good times that's been wasted,
01:25:05having good times.
01:25:11All of my dying,
01:25:13I remember them crying.
01:25:17My useless talking,
01:25:21I could've been walking.
01:25:23I could've been walking.
01:25:24I could've been walking.
01:25:25I could've been walking.
01:25:27Instead of complaining.
01:25:29I could've been gaining.
01:25:31Good times.
01:25:33Yes.
01:25:34Yeah, we all are.
01:25:35Having a jolly good time.
01:25:37And everything is working out fine.
01:25:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:26:10We'll see you then.
01:26:18This time is right.
01:26:19My joy is joy.
01:26:20The family was one that makes me cry.
01:26:23It should've been hugging.
01:26:25Good times are fun.
01:26:27The family hasris have smeared in life.
01:26:31The family has a selection for some areas.
01:26:32You can go home.
01:26:33It should be your Levine.
01:26:35The family has arrived.