50 Domestic Abuse Isn't That Funny
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:01One, two, three, ha!
00:09The joke stops here!
00:13The nurse thought it would pass today, so he might need extra potty time.
00:18Hope you're there to see it too, sis!
00:22Yo! Today's shin birth is a micro-bastard!
00:26Man, I was hoping for more applause.
00:30You must put my fans to sleep!
00:32It's not Musk, it's Diesel. Ench had me siphoning gas from a dump truck because of rising fuel prices.
00:38Now sit down.
00:40Shin! Just let it ease out naturally!
00:44Something tragic's happened to Penny.
00:46Uh, duh.
00:47No, it's different. She's completely unresponsive.
00:50Take a look.
00:55Not even my jazz hopper teen could rouse her.
00:58Maybe she's just sleeping with her eyes open like I do when I don't want Mr. Sandman to steal my eyelids.
01:03No, Maso's right!
01:05I think it's something really catastrophic this time.
01:07Uh-huh, I'm afraid so.
01:10But how can it get worse?
01:11Hey, Pooh, you know anything Penny could be upset about?
01:15The wind scares me.
01:16Could it be after all our jokes and indifference, domestic abuse isn't that funny?
01:20Georgie, you're dumb.
01:26Got it!
01:28I'm flying!
01:33I'm flying!
01:35She's still moping. This really is a crisis.
01:39I know she can be a bully, but she's our friend. We should help her when she's down.
01:43No, wouldn't we be better friends if we acted like we didn't notice?
01:47We always do that. It's clearly not working.
01:50Think outside the box, Georgie.
01:51Now that she's on mute, we can move her mouth and throw our voices to make her say funny things.
01:55It could be a pretty sweet idea for a show on TV.
01:58Stop being stupid! Penny has clearly got it bad, and it's time you got serious!
02:01Get serious with Penny? You mean we can't just keep it casual?
02:07Mufus, I beg you! I must marry your daughter and make her have the babies, cause Georgie said to.
02:14Forget that, dumbass. We'll cure Penny's sadness without his help.
02:18How are we gonna do that?
02:22I am a sorcerer who screams like a girl!
02:26Yes, you should be tortured!
02:27And that's just a preview of the fun you could have by playing pretend with us today and dehumanizing Masa.
02:36Huh? You never said-
02:38She needs this. Making fun of you is her source of joy. It's like you and the foxtrot.
02:43No thanks, guys.
02:46It's not a good day for me.
02:52Sure about that, Penny? Cause it's keep your daughters out of the workplace day where girls could force us to play any game of homemaking they want.
02:59In that case, Lady Cinderella is gonna make you play house with her.
03:02You can be a prince charming if your poop fits perfectly into a glass slipper.
03:06Poop's not funny! I'm trying to do good here!
03:09Don't listen to him.
03:11Son of a bitch.
03:12Yeah, I guess she is low energy today. I thought I was just hyper.
03:18Hmm.
03:22I didn't pay attention in my behavioral issues class, so I don't really know what's wrong with her.
03:27Maybe you should meet with her parents. There's a chance you could have a real impact.
03:31No, I'm not doing that. It'd be so awkward.
03:34Yuck!
03:35Hey! Why don't you guys tell her some gossip instead? That always takes my mind off my life.
03:40Hey, know what I heard? Miss Anderson's dating Doyle because his noodles made out of popcorn.
03:45Dammit, Shin! Stop lying about me and Doyle! I'll kill you! I'll frickin' kill you now!
03:54You guys think Shin's lying, right?
03:57I hate like a cheetah!
03:59So now you want me to talk to that welfare tramp?
04:02We're pretty desperate.
04:03What do you want me to say?
04:04Just be your ruggedly, handsomely, powerfully aggressive self!
04:08Why do you make me sound like a man?
04:10It means speak to her like you nice young females normally do.
04:14You mean talk shit?
04:16She seems to have some post-traumatic stress, and not in the funny stabbing shadows and crying way.
04:21Wow.
04:23Maybe a little spirited debate could help her.
04:25Shit talk, I got it.
04:28Well, you guys, it's like they say, only Nixon can go to China.
04:31And, you know, call China a slit.
04:34Huh?
04:39Damn, she has gone nutso.
04:43So, Lardass, have any plans for our three-day weekend?
04:46I'm going to Paris, since I'm not poor.
04:48That's it. Go for the throat.
04:51I'll be shopping. I know you've never heard of it, but that's when you buy new clothes.
04:55You should really think about trying it sometime. Like soon.
04:58If fuggliness was a crime, you'd be on death row!
05:01You running away, bitch? What?
05:02You finally realized no boy would ever beg you even if you had a bag over your head and your arms and your legs and your torso?
05:06Ice attacks didn't even get a response. When's that ever happened?
05:11It's like she's death. Or boo.
05:13Talk is cheap. If we're going to help Penny, we've clearly got to put our words into action.
05:17Either that or electroshock. I still support that.
05:20I can hang.
05:22Wait for it.
05:24She's coming!
05:25Just follow my lead.
05:28Man, being four well-off bachelor roommates who have amazing potential but clear flaws that need fixing sure is tough.
05:34We need a take charge woman who can try and shape us.
05:37Then we'd battle to wet her hat.
05:40Face it, we'll never find her. We're all alone here. One of us will have to grow toddies.
05:45Damn, I didn't think she could resist the blanket.
05:47Alright, fine guys, I'll grow the boobies, but you can't overuse me and I want every Sunday as my free night. Grow boobies ho!
05:52She's already gone dumb nuts.
05:56Look, it's simple. Girls just want our guy friends to ask us what's wrong when we're sad and be there if we're super lonely and randy.
06:03She's actually right. I mean, I'm not touching that mess, but you kids could.
06:07Who's going to ask her though?
06:12Fine, leach out the strong one, you pansy freaking socialists!
06:17It's all because of the DWI.
06:19Let me finish burying my happiness.
06:23So that's why you're depressed?
06:26Huh? Well, yeah. Ever since he finished anger management.
06:30He smiles a lot and says no more hurdy belt time like I'm not good enough for boozies.
06:35Uh, jeez.
06:36Um, earth to welfare dads don't show they care by smacking you, they show you by working so hard they can only see you one hour a week.
06:44For real? I've never heard that.
06:47Uh, yeah.
06:48Look, her mind's warping.
06:51I knew your life would improve if we did nothing.
06:54Yes, Penny, I'm not jealous of you at all.
06:56Even though you were the one chick whose life was worse than mine.
07:00I give it a month. No more fright nights?
07:04What am I gonna do with all this extra free time?
07:07Student council could use a girl to serve drinks.
07:09Wow.
07:10I have happy.
07:11I'm gonna miss those jokes.
07:14Well, onto happier thoughts.
07:15Have I ever told you guys about my cousin?
07:17He says that we're in love.
07:19Welcome, Shinno!
07:33As opposed as I am to libraries and anything else public, if it's free I might as well do my capitalistic duty and exploit it until there's nothing left.
07:44Boogie smear!
07:46Get off me, you ass!
07:49Please, sir, don't eat us!
07:55What are you doing here, Shin? You're barely literate.
07:57I left some good boogers in one of the books.
07:59Can't you go and do something more constructive like play under a train?
08:03Hey, that reminds me, I gotta tell you a secret.
08:06Bastard breath!
08:08What the hell is that all about?
08:10Look, this may be a morally devoid socialist facility, but it isn't freaking Hippie Hill. You can't act like yourself, dammit!
08:23If I'm not mistaken, it was you who yelled.
08:25Just let me read in peace and try not to do anything that'll get us into trouble.
08:29Uh-huh, uh-huh. So it's a bad time to show you my new pet?
08:31I won't fall for that twice! Keep your junk in your shorts!
08:35Let's see, how should I expand my mind today?
08:39Ah! Jackpot!
08:40For God's sake, quit molesting me!
08:52Be very quiet!
08:55There are some seats here in the back.
08:59Why are they staring? Did you do something offensive when I wasn't looking?
09:03Well, I did leave a trail of butt breeze back there.
09:05Don't fart in the library!
09:07If, and, and so, but not, and if, the, penis.
09:14You're skipping all the words you don't know, aren't you?
09:16Yes, I am. How can you tell?
09:18Because, Shin, out of the ten words you just spoke, the only one that had more than one syllable was penis.
09:24I like it better this way, thanks.
09:26You would.
09:28And that's when the stranger came.
09:30A man who would change these boys' lives in completely insignificant ways.
09:37Excuse me, my associate and I were actually already sitting there.
09:43Hmm.
09:44Hmm.
09:45Hmm.
09:46It seems this gentleman who is considerably larger than the two of us has decided to take our spot.
09:53What do you think we should do about it?
09:54Well, there's one chair left.
09:55Hey, check it out, Georgie.
09:56We're ass-sociates.
09:57Ugh.
09:58Georgie!
09:59Georgie!
10:00Hey, Georgie!
10:01Hey, Georgie!
10:02Can't you keep quiet?
10:03I'm reading!
10:04Oh!
10:05Do you want to know what I think, though?
10:06Ugh.
10:07No, but get it over with.
10:08Doesn't this guy remind you of Cameron from Ferris Bueller?
10:09Pardon my French, but you're an asshole.
10:10Ugh.
10:11Look, guys, I've got a big drug test on my new job next week, and if you two little squirts
10:14aren't gonna behave so I can learn how to pass it, I'll make you into rugs.
10:15Oh, here's a tip.
10:16If you have trouble peeing in a cup, just pretend it's a VCR.
10:17You don't know crap!
10:18Ugh.
10:19You shut your hole.
10:20Uh.
10:21I would have to know what's going on.
10:22Uh.
10:23Uh.
10:24Uh.
10:25Uh.
10:26Uh.
10:27Uh.
10:28Uh.
10:29Uh.
10:30Uh.
10:31Uh.
10:32Uh.
10:33Uh.
10:34Uh.
10:35Uh.
10:36Uh.
10:37Uh.
10:38Uh.
10:39Uh.
10:40Uh.
10:41Uh.
10:42Uh.
10:43Uh.
10:44Uh.
10:45Uh.
10:46Uh.
10:47I will eat your life.
10:51Uh.
10:52That's what librarians do.
10:53Whoa.
10:54Is he the Terminator?
10:55Huh?
10:56Well, Shin, let's see.
10:57Nah, you're just dumb.
10:59How come in the first two Terminators we saw the Terminators getting icky but when the
11:02haughty one came in T3 we didn't see ERS?
11:05Let me read!
11:06Uh.
11:07Uh.
11:08Uh.
11:09Uh.
11:10Wow, you're lucky he didn't hear you.
11:12Wait.
11:13Do you mean the shovel cried?
11:14Do you?
11:15You mean the shouting or my last fart?
11:17Well, a few months ago, I was sitting right here stoned.
11:19And I saw that guy dropkick a crying baby.
11:21Are you serious? I thought that was just a myth.
11:24So if I wore a bib, would he kick me?
11:30Just wait and you'll see.
11:33So three grams of Coke can pass through my system before Tuesday.
11:37But that nug I smoked two weeks back could be a problem.
11:40Are you corrupting me?
11:42But what about that tub full of meth I cooked up?
11:45Hey, Georgie. Hey, Georgie. Hey.
11:47He's disturbing my fake reading. Can we switch places?
11:50He's probably speaking to work multiple senses for synergistic learning,
11:53a technique I've used for years.
11:55Uh-huh.
11:55Think about phrases you say out loud all the time.
11:58So often they could be a t-shirt at Suncoast or something.
12:01If you say those phrases over and over again, they get stuck in your head, right?
12:04The difference here is he's studying chemistry and you study poop.
12:07Does that make sense?
12:12They test for 794 kinds of weed.
12:17I'm going to need to clean my system fast if I want to pass.
12:20Weeds grow 794 times faster than grass.
12:23Weeds grow 794 times faster than...
12:26Huh?
12:28Review. Step 1. Don't do drugs.
12:30Step 2. Pee in the cup.
12:32Review. Step 1. Don't do drugs.
12:33Step 2. Pee in the cup.
12:34Step 2. Pee in the cup.
12:36Step 3. Drink it.
12:37Okay. Step 2. Pee in the cup.
12:39Step 3. Drink it.
12:42Black tar heroin is the purest of all opiates.
12:45Black tar heroin is the purest of all opiates.
12:47Black scarred hairy men make the purest loogie spits.
12:49Black scarred hairy men make...
12:53Uh...
12:54Pew!
12:55I got you! I got you!
12:57You're busted, you smelly little troll person!
12:58I'm not going to give you any of my stash now.
13:01I'm just going to kill you.
13:02I'm tweaking out!
13:03I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
13:05I grovel before your massive feet, great keeper of the library.
13:09Next time I bring the nipple clamps.
13:13A little less action than I was hoping for,
13:15but I thought the one-liners were decent.
13:17Could I pay you to leave?
13:19Ugh!
13:20What are you doing now?
13:21I'm building a privacy fence between us so I can finally study in peace.
13:25Uh-huh, uh-huh.
13:26Let me help you with that, my friend.
13:28You're not doing a very good job.
13:40Behold!
13:41The best use of books ever other than booger storage!
13:47Ah!
13:51That doesn't tip!
13:55I'm twice your size!
13:57But I feel six times bigger from this room,
13:59so show some respect!
14:01Ah!
14:07Please, I need those books!
14:08I still don't know how much cranberry juice to drink!
14:10This busboy shop could really go places!
14:13Oh, hell.
14:15So long, Cameron from Ferris Bueller!
14:18Huh?
14:18We'll continue with our lessons tomorrow.
14:23Don't forget to bring your cup!
14:25Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
14:28Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da!
14:31Disciples for the truth-three!
14:34Open up, dumbass!
14:36And yes, you invited us!
14:37You'll be sorry when I catch you!
14:39Not unless you sit on me!
14:41You have to go to practice!
14:42I'm not giving back that sword!
14:44I promised myself I could watch TV!
14:46And I can't let me down!
14:47Are those the cookies I just made you?
14:53They taste better as weapons!
14:55You're out of ammo now!
14:58Bad baby!
15:02Ha! I gotcha!
15:05Now promise to go to Kendo or I'll crush your spine!
15:11Uh, we love to tease.
15:14Stupid baby!
15:16So what is this Kendo crap anyway?
15:19Will there be frosting?
15:20Yeah, will I like it? I've become a picky boy.
15:23I'm sure it's like any other after-school program.
15:26A futile attempt to keep poor kids from stealing 40 spray-paint and condoms.
15:29No, Georgie! Kendo's the great art of cutting leaves and smashing pies!
15:34I must admit, all this talk of warriors and destruction works for you.
15:38It gives you a manly air we girls go totally nuts over.
15:41Yes, it's true. I stink of all sorts of manly.
15:46Friendly smells like ham, right?
15:48Please don't tell us why your armpits smell like ham, okay?
15:52When you said your teacher was a squatter, I thought it was another dumb potty joke.
15:56Now this is a hovel.
15:58Dildor says don't eat my friends!
16:01Meep!
16:04Come on! There you go!
16:09Take that, hairs of shame!
16:12Oh, Dildor! You've brought your disciples like I asked you to!
16:16Who's Dildor?
16:18Yeah, Shin said you invited us and we didn't have anything less lame to do.
16:23As Dildor's disciples, you'll become vital in the road ahead.
16:26Except for you, girl. You're the whore.
16:28So where should we sit, Shin?
16:29Not on that damp spot. It's where the darkseed festers know.
16:32Face disfigure! Face disfigure! Face disfigure! Face disfigure!
16:47Wow, he hits just like his mother.
16:49I feel both terrified and strangely warm.
16:52At last, a hobby that doesn't involve privates.
16:55Someone should cabra.
16:57Hmm.
16:58Disciples, will you join us in training?
17:00Uh, seriously?
17:02The arrangement of Cheerios and my milk at the shelter last Sunday
17:05made it clear the participation of your disciples would reveal a key truth.
17:08Yo!
17:09Look, it works better if you don't think too much.
17:12So you're ready to be my disciples and follow my lead and hit stuff?
17:15I'll say yes, purely for curiosity's sake.
17:18Sure, I will.
17:19Until I find someone stronger.
17:21Can we change the subject?
17:23Great, now that you're all on board, here's the deal.
17:25I'm the savior and everyone else is a fly who hates me.
17:28That's called paranoid schizophrenia with delusions of grandeur.
17:32I got an excuse to stab.
17:34I'll start by training Musso.
17:36But I'm ill-prepared.
17:39Try not to help them out for you.
17:41Pretend you're a boy.
17:45That is an example of how not to do it.
17:50You gotta commit to the carnage.
17:52Face disfigure!
17:54Bring it to life.
17:56Well, I can try.
18:00Visualize.
18:00Imagine you're hitting something you hate, like Hillary.
18:04Or the scary kind of pudding.
18:06Well, I do hate bullies.
18:08I'll imagine that.
18:12Three strapping and fierce.
18:15I'll start with one knuckle and then work my way in.
18:18Get away!
18:22Fight!
18:22Just do what you will.
18:23You realize what imaginary means, right?
18:26Why don't you fight them then?
18:28They'll break you too!
18:29How can I fight your imaginary?
18:31Oh, screw it.
18:32What's going on?
18:33Now, Musso said there were three opponents and there's only one me.
18:38This requires a more sophisticated divide-and-conquer strategy.
18:41I'll attack the strongest, that's obvious.
18:44Then I'll dismiss the weakest as a fringe bully, accuse the media of bias, and smear the third as a sex-crazed pinko.
18:50Here I come!
18:52Ready or not!
18:53You can't play dirty, too! That's my racket!
19:02Dammit, Georgie, you're overthinking it!
19:04Violence isn't that hard!
19:10I'll show you jerk holes how it's done!
19:13I'm disrespectful!
19:14You never underestimate verbal abuse power!
19:18Shut up!
19:19You wussy-faced twins better start running or I'm gonna make you fucking scream!
19:22Holy hell, she did it, Mom! She cut off both of my balls!
19:26And if you dicks think I'm bluffing, I've got a happiness man and you can show you the gaping hole that used to be his insides!
19:31Face disfigure!
19:35And if they come back, they bleed!
19:39Face disfigure!
19:41Face disfigure!
19:43Face disfigure!
19:45Wow, every home should have a gun and a sword!
19:47There's room to improve the battle cry, though!
19:49Cause brain hemorrhage!
19:51Cause brain hemorrhage!
19:53Hey, that is peppier!
19:55Oh, I feel so rough and tumble!
19:59There's something strange about this disciple.
20:01His lack of movement, his seeming brain death!
20:04There's only one explanation.
20:05The cream children have taken over his body to send me a message!
20:09This is the Cheerios' revelation!
20:10You fell asleep standing up again.
20:14Oh.
20:15Flark!
20:16Why have they caused Dildor to interact with him?
20:19Why make Dildor attack a frozen boy of that age with his sword?
20:23What are they trying to tell me?
20:26Oh, of course!
20:27It's a metaphor for the Alkoskibay Kendo Championship, which must be the site for the Dipterranean Surge!
20:33I hear your message, cream children!
20:35We're ready!
20:36What is Gary Loudbat talking about?
20:39Beats me!
20:39He's nuts!
20:40I'm just sending for the laughs!
20:42And so, with the training complete, Kenta declared a time of frolic and repose.
20:46An ass-loving boy has become a messiah.
20:48A false mother has learned the joy of hard wood.
20:51And a dim-witted French man has discovered he is an albino titan and has journeyed to his destiny in the mountains of Afghanistan.
20:57But the real trials remain, for soon Dildor will wage his first battle for the universe in a tournament the likes of which have never been seen in any anime, ever.
21:06And as they wait, there remains only one pertinent question.
21:10Why hasn't anybody called the crazy house yet?
21:13Woke up late this morning
21:26A storm was really rolling
21:27Frogs and dogs are raining from the sky
21:30Everything seems awkward to me
21:32Nothing's just as it should be
21:34If this keeps on, I'm sure I won't get by
21:37But then I close my eyes and try to smile
21:41I know things are bad and getting worse
21:44But after all this, I can rest a while
21:47And then I'll party, party, party, party, join us, join us
21:51Shake your day away and you can
21:56Party, party, join us, join us
21:58Shake your blues away
22:02Yo, we're gay vacation, mom!
22:09This party's shakin' and it ain't a-shakin' here
22:12I see that smile grinning ear to ear
22:15Sing this song and you should really sing it clear
22:18Just sing along with us
22:23Party, party, join us, join us
22:28Shake your day away and you can
22:29Party, party!
22:31Oh, I'm back with shit
22:33Party!
22:34Brando party it is
22:35Party, party!
22:37Ho, ho!