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00:30This feels like a moment.
00:42It should.
00:43You're finally getting what you're owed.
00:45Part of what I'm owed.
00:48Still, it's a start, innit?
00:53And it makes you realise what's important.
00:56And what would that be, Confucius?
00:58And your kids.
01:00Protecting their future.
01:05Who knows?
01:07Maybe one day you'll put a smile on Steph's face again.
01:15That post it won't report in.
01:17How hard is it to push some letters through a box?
01:20Anyone could swipe these and then they'd know.
01:22All your business.
01:23We've got an email from the hospital.
01:28Looks like it could be to do with that job.
01:31What was that about people wanting to know all your business?
01:33Well, I'm sister, so it's different.
01:37Read it.
01:38No need to look so worried.
01:40Who said I was worried?
01:41I'd rather be mad not to snap you up.
01:44Come on, I'm a saddo with no life humour me.
01:47Well?
01:51Got the job.
01:53And that's your happy face?
01:55It's just a job.
01:56This calls for champagne.
01:57Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:58What are you doing?
01:58It's barely nine o'clock in the morning.
02:00Box first then.
02:01But we are celebrating.
02:09Oh, my.
02:14Sarah, hi.
02:17You enjoying your time off?
02:19Oh, um, yeah, I, er, it's bliss not to have a day full of boils and bunions.
02:26Look, I tried calling the surgery and they said you were on holiday, so it doesn't matter.
02:29Oh, no, no, no, nonsense.
02:31Please, sit down.
02:31What's happening?
02:34Um, so I've been doing some research about the chances of me having a baby and, um, well,
02:40when you said it's not impossible, it got me thinking.
02:43Right, er, maybe I should have chosen my words a bit more carefully.
02:48It's still extremely unlikely.
02:50No, there's other people out there that have done it.
02:52I've been reading all about them.
02:54Do you remember when I was holding your hair back when you were being sick?
02:57Ah, memories.
02:59Well, it kind of felt like we were getting back on track.
03:04There's no getting about it.
03:05Oh, good, good.
03:07Because I have an awkward question I want to ask and I'm hoping that means you're not going
03:10to throw that plate in my head.
03:11So, er, well, I'm arranging a party for my mum.
03:17Right, it's her 75th birthday.
03:19Rona.
03:19Er, please, all I'm asking is that you at least think about coming along.
03:25It would mean the world to her and to me.
03:27I appreciate the offer, but I am nowhere near ready for that.
03:32OK.
03:33OK, yeah, sure, if that's how you feel.
03:36Maybe next year?
03:37I've got cookies and pretzels.
03:59Who knew Eric does pretzels?
04:01Celebrating.
04:03Er, celebrating.
04:05Your dad's birthday, tomorrow.
04:07Yeah.
04:07And?
04:09Well, go on.
04:10Tell her.
04:11The fact I'm no longer going to be, er, Fox.
04:14I'm changing my name by depot for now when I'm just Ruby Milligan.
04:18Yeah, it's long overdue.
04:20Um, can I grab my charger?
04:23Yeah, sure.
04:25Hey, listen, I was, er, I was thinking maybe we could kick back and watch a film.
04:29Your choice.
04:31Ah, what?
04:32Don't you think I can stomach a chick flick?
04:36You might be able to.
04:37Superb.
04:38Return of the Jedi is then.
04:40Look, I've got a lot on.
04:42Yeah.
04:44Yeah, I know you do.
04:46And it's sort of up in here, innit?
04:48You know, you can talk to me, you know.
04:51Dad, there's really no need.
04:53Give me five minutes, that's all.
04:54I've got a facial booked, okay?
04:57Thanks.
04:58I'll see you later.
05:04So, there's this woman, Beth, she's 40 now and her son, Jamie, is 19 and he's going to uni.
05:08She was my age when she started IVF and everyone said to her, you know, you couldn't do it,
05:13she'd be dead by 40, but she's not.
05:15She's beating the odds.
05:18Well, that's great and I'm really pleased for her.
05:20But I don't know her medical history, Sarah.
05:24Your cases may not be comparable.
05:25And what cancer did Beth have and what treatment?
05:28Did she have a bone marrow transplant like you?
05:30Could be coming at it from very different starting points.
05:32Your ex might not even be viable.
05:34Yeah, well, she's not the only one.
05:35There's this other woman, Rain, in Texas.
05:37She did the same.
05:38And how much did that cost her?
05:39Well, she's not going to put that online, is she?
05:42IVF is prohibitively expensive.
05:44Yeah, well, I can do it through the NHS.
05:45If you were to write me a referral letter supporting me.
05:47Yes, I could.
05:49But given your circumstances, I'd be very surprised if they fund it.
05:52Right, so because I've got a medical condition I get discriminated against.
05:55Nice.
05:56No, I don't think...
05:57Look, I've got every right to have a child.
05:58Yes, you absolutely do.
06:00And I would wholeheartedly support you.
06:02But...
06:03It would be appalling, nice.
06:05Right, so the only way I can have a child is by going private.
06:11Sarah, listen.
06:13Even if you were a suitable candidate, there are no guarantees.
06:18A typical cycle starts at £5,000.
06:21And that's not factoring in medications and scans.
06:25And you could have cycle after cycle.
06:26It could take months, years even.
06:28Yeah, or I could get pregnant straight away.
06:31She's raw.
06:32Maybe it's the name change.
06:35Well, I thought she'd be pleased about that.
06:37Yeah.
06:39I suppose I just wanted her to feel like we're moving on, you know?
06:43Well, scrubbing that man's name out of our lives is minuscule.
06:48None of this is a quick fix, believe me, I know.
06:51I don't know.
06:52One minute we're close and the next she's pulling away.
06:54Yeah, because she's drowning in trauma.
06:59Do you think I didn't do the same?
07:02There was this...
07:04teacher at school was always asking me,
07:07is everything all right at home?
07:10Do you want to talk?
07:12I couldn't think of anything worse.
07:13That meant saying those words out loud,
07:15which meant acknowledging this was really happening.
07:19So, no, she doesn't want to talk.
07:21Right, so what do we do?
07:23Do we just leave her to it?
07:24Let her keep going over and over it inside her head?
07:27I said she doesn't want to talk.
07:28What she needs is a whole different thing.
07:29She needs therapy.
07:31A professional.
07:32That's the one thing we can't risk.
07:36Do you know what?
07:36I would give it all up.
07:38The land, the depot, everything if I...
07:41I'd just have my little girl back.
07:43I know you would.
07:46Maybe I'm being too negative.
07:47Maybe she's nothing like me and she just...
07:49needs some time to process things.
07:52And how have you been since our last meeting?
07:54Yeah.
07:55Good, thanks.
07:56Apart from the traffic getting here.
07:58Oh, it's a nightmare, isn't it?
07:59And you received all the documents we sent through?
08:02Yeah, they were all really helpful, thanks.
08:04Well, people's expectations around nose jobs can be a little high, as we say.
08:08That's why we send that out to make sure everything is absolutely clear.
08:12So, I presume you're still keen to proceed with the rhinoplasty?
08:16Well, it certainly answered all my questions.
08:18Good.
08:18And if we can just go back over your psychological assessments.
08:22Oh, I thought we already did that.
08:24I'd just like to revisit some questions.
08:27Yes, well, like I said before, the fault lies with your chemist, not with a...
08:34You can't do that.
08:43I've been crossing my legs for the last hour.
08:45It's a good job Dr. Cavanagh asked me back then.
08:48Knew he would.
08:48Oh, Liam, what lovely cologne.
08:56Oh, thank you very much.
08:57You're early.
08:59Lest coming suddenly he finds you sleeping.
09:01Right, yes.
09:04I'm handing my notice in.
09:05Oh.
09:07Erm, I see.
09:10Is there anything I can do to make you reconsider?
09:12Not really.
09:12I've got the job at the hospital.
09:14Right, excellent.
09:15Excellent.
09:15Well, congratulations.
09:17Yeah, well, at least I won't have old man Finnegan screaming down the phone at me there.
09:21You won't get away with that on my watch.
09:24Look, John, I appreciate how frustrating this must be.
09:26Man of your talents, stationed on reception.
09:28I should say, it's not really where my skills lie.
09:30Of course, you are a man of action.
09:32The cut and thrust of emergency meds.
09:35Perils of life and death.
09:36It's hardly any wonder.
09:37Oh, butterfingers.
09:39Great, great, brilliant.
09:41Now reception is full of soil.
09:42Don't worry, I'll clear it up.
09:44Where's your dust pad?
09:45We haven't got one.
09:46You don't have a dust pad?
09:47I don't know, there might be one in the back.
09:49Liam?
09:50Hey, hey, hey.
09:51You okay?
09:52You okay?
09:52I compare aspects of my appearance to others.
09:59Yeah, sometimes.
10:01At times, I think I am no good at all.
10:04Disagree.
10:06I spend more than one hour a day thinking about my appearance.
10:10Disagree.
10:11I replay painful events over and over in my mind until I am overwhelmed.
10:18I strongly disagree.
10:19Sorry, how many more of these are there?
10:22And that was the last?
10:24You okay?
10:27It's clear you found some of those questions distressing.
10:31If there's anything else you need to tell me, if there's anything you want to discuss.
10:40That you'd understand.
10:41Try me.
10:43Look, I see all kinds of patients.
10:46I hear all kinds of stories.
10:48I promise.
10:49I promise.
10:49I won't be shocked.
10:52And I won't judge.
11:00Yeah, maybe I do need to tell someone.
11:03Um...
11:04I can't keep it inside any longer.
11:08I don't know.
11:21In.
11:22Two.
11:23Three.
11:26Out.
11:27Two.
11:28Three.
11:29Good.
11:30You're safe, no one's coming in here and I'm going to stay with you as long as you want, okay?
11:37Yeah.
11:42Now, in a minute, I'm going to ask you to look around the room and focus on three objects.
11:48Then, we're going to focus on three sounds and finally move three body parts.
11:53This is going to help ground you, okay?
11:57Is that the first one?
12:02Right, why don't you just hold on to that, okay?
12:08You focus on her and just breathe.
12:13Good.
12:15Just keep breathing.
12:18What went on that night, it was horrific.
12:22I've not told anyone, I've just bottled it up.
12:26No one else knows apart from you and everyone else involved.
12:32And how many were involved, exactly?
12:35Six.
12:36I can see why you're so traumatised.
12:39Yeah.
12:40The tears, they are meant to be a release.
12:45But this, it just keeps going round and round.
12:49There's never an escape and every time I look in the mirror, it's just a constant reminder of everything that happened.
12:57And I just, I, I need this.
13:02Just to go back to the start, this period of bullying.
13:05You say it started at boarding school and it was solely focused on your nose.
13:10Yeah, the taunts, they were about to go every day.
13:13Well, it must have been extremely hard.
13:14Yeah, it was.
13:16My concern is in many cases like yours, a patient may have a noticeably unusual appearance.
13:24Cleft palate, for example.
13:26And conditions that may result in further incidents of bullying.
13:30In those cases, surgery can make a huge difference.
13:33And what, mine won't?
13:34Well, in surgical terms, your nose is unremarkable.
13:39I can change its appearance.
13:41Well, then let's do it.
13:42But surgery won't rectify the trauma you've already suffered.
13:45What, and you think I don't already know that I'm not stupid?
13:47Oh, yeah.
13:49Sorry.
13:50Um, look, I know you're just trying to be diligent and do your job.
13:54But at least when I look in the mirror, I won't have to be reminded of everything that happened.
14:02I mean, isn't that a good enough reason?
14:05I promise, I am not some screw-up.
14:07I know this isn't a magic wand.
14:09And you're not considering any further procedures?
14:12No, this is just one blot on the landscape.
14:15One thing I don't like about myself.
14:17I mean, come on, you must have thousands of patients like me.
14:20I do.
14:21It's just important to manage a patient's expectations.
14:24In terms of aftercare, you have family, friends who can take care of you.
14:33Yeah, sure.
14:34They're amazing.
14:35And you will need to be nilled by mouth for six hours before the procedure.
14:39And I suggest leaving early, given the road works.
14:42Does that mean...?
14:43We're good to go.
14:45I'll see you tomorrow.
14:47You've got a bit of plant pot!
14:50I mean, what sort of a man?
14:52What kind of a doctor jumps out of his skin?
14:55One who's been randomly attacked?
14:58One who's probably suffering from PTSD?
15:02I've seen some of the hardest nuts in the army reduce to quivering wrecks.
15:07All it takes is the sound of a car backfiring.
15:09Sometimes not even that.
15:12You, er...
15:13Listen, Mrs. Reynolden...
15:14Why don't you let me deal with her?
15:16Please.
15:18Take five.
15:20Get yourself back on track.
15:32Wow.
15:39Must have been sub-facial, that.
15:41Oh, well, I actually just caught up with Rie.
15:43She's in town.
15:44Rie from Capri?
15:45You're a poet and you don't know it, Mum.
15:49She, er...
15:50She's still in the repping?
15:51Yes, and loving it.
15:52She actually wants me to go out and stay with her.
15:54That'd be good.
15:55Yes, it would.
15:56Which is why I'm flying out there.
15:58All right.
15:59Flying out when?
16:00Tomorrow's lunchtime, so I should probably get packed.
16:01Wow, well, that's, er...
16:03It's a bit sudden, isn't it?
16:04It's your dad's birthday tomorrow.
16:05We were gonna...
16:06You just said it will do me good.
16:08That's not quite what I meant.
16:10Yeah, do you think it's a good idea?
16:11I mean, do you really wanna be out there on your own right now?
16:14Well, I'm not gonna be on my own. I'll be with Rie.
16:16Not if she's working.
16:17And what? I'm spilling all our family secrets to the locals.
16:20How many times?
16:21Not gonna happen.
16:23You were amazing.
16:25I don't know what I would have done without you.
16:27No, it was nothing.
16:28Well, what I said earlier, if there's anything I can do to make you reconsider...
16:32Mildly cut out for being some glorified receptionist.
16:35I quite agree.
16:36Which is why I've offered the position permanently to Claudette.
16:41I have to make a few cuts, but it means that you can get on with the job that you're supposed to do.
16:49Please.
16:51We need you. I need you.
16:54Not too proud to beg.
16:57Let's see how we get on.
16:58Is that a guess?
16:59For now.
17:00Good man. You won't regret it. I'll catch you later.
17:02I don't think this has gone on for long enough. You're 34 now. You're not a kid.
17:08We always knew it was a long shot, Mum.
17:10I'm sorry.
17:11That's okay.
17:12Did your best.
17:15So what did she say?
17:16Pretty much everything I expected.
17:18That it's highly unlikely I'll get pregnant and she'd strongly advise against it.
17:21Oh, love.
17:22Yeah, but then again, she has to say that.
17:24And I know how hard it's going to be, but even she had to admit, I've got a real chance with IVF and that's all I needed to hear, really.
17:30But if she's saying she'd advise against it, then surely...
17:33Look, look, I need to get some more information and I'll speak to someone who deals with fertility,
17:37because, you know, Mampreet's great and all, but she's not a specialist.
17:40And if you hear the same from them?
17:42At least I can make an informed decision.
17:45Right.
17:47Okay, well, why don't we look for one together and then we can show charity.
17:50Oh, yeah, great idea.
17:51She's your gran.
17:52She needs to know.
17:53Yeah, and sure, she will when I'm ready, but if you bring her into this now, she'll tell me exactly what I'm thinking before I even know myself.
17:58But you can't put off the inevitable.
18:00What, like you making up with Mary?
18:02Never had you down a zipper grip.
18:05Fine.
18:07I won't say anything.
18:08For now.
18:09Right, go on.
18:10Get searching.
18:11I'll get the drinks in.
18:13Oh, I'll, erm, I'll get Chas.
18:15Erm, this party, if you still want me there, I'll be there.
18:21Seriously?
18:22You don't know how much that means.
18:24But you were so...
18:25Yeah, well, sometimes you just need to accept the facts.
18:28Susie didn't want me, so whatever you and her had together is totally relevant.
18:34Nurse.
18:35If it's any comfort, I...
18:36No, please.
18:37Please, I...
18:38I don't wanna talk about this anymore, and I don't want either of you bringing it up again,
18:42cos it'll just unpick what's in my mind and I can't go there, so can we just, er, just leave it and move on?
18:48An amazing opportunity like that and you wanna turn it down?
18:52Well, the surgery's closer to home.
18:55And I'm happy there.
18:56Happy?
18:57After the way you've been treated?
18:59I told you, Liam apologised, things are gonna be different.
19:02Well, I think you're mad.
19:03But, whatever makes you happy, I guess.
19:05Ta.
19:06So much for my celebratory roast.
19:09I could still come round for dinner.
19:11Six o'clock.
19:12Don't be late.
19:23Hey, do you, erm, mind if I swing by tomorrow and my clutches slip him?
19:27Well, surprise, well, you drive.
19:30Don't suppose you got through to him?
19:32Nate, I, erm, heard you leave me in the message.
19:37Sorry.
19:38None of my business.
19:39Yeah, you got that right.
19:40Only, er, well, Tracy was kind of at a loss yesterday.
19:45I was worried.
19:48You know, I'm not trying to stick my nose in, but I had a friend do this.
19:51Just upped and left.
19:53Cut off all of his mates, his mum and dad.
19:55Not that they were much cop, but I saw how it destroyed them.
20:00Every day.
20:01Wishing.
20:02Hoping.
20:03Desperate.
20:04For that call.
20:05Only it never came.
20:09Just wouldn't want the same to happen to Tracy.
20:11Well, the night I know wouldn't be this cruel.
20:13Only certain they wouldn't abandon his daughter.
20:16But if that's the man he is, we're all better off without him.
20:20Cos I'm dumb.
20:21Hey.
20:22Sorting on with that lot.
20:36Look, I'm sorry.
20:37I don't mean to smother you.
20:38I'm overcompensating cos I know I let you down.
20:39And, look, I know that I can trust you not to say anything.
20:53I know you're not some little girl.
20:56Dad, I will always be your little girl and you never let me down.
21:01If you really want to help, I still need that suitcase.
21:06Mornings.
21:07Er, excuse me.
21:08No begging birthday boy.
21:09You'll get your present tomorrow.
21:13Sorry.
21:30Hello?
21:32Oh, yeah, hi.
21:34Um, yeah, I was just wondering if I could book a consultation.
21:37Um, I'm kind of out of action for the next few weeks, though.
21:41Yeah, yeah, sure.
21:43It's, er, it's for a brow lift.
22:11Oh, yeah.
22:14Five people, yeah, just tap into it.
22:15Like,Ù‚
22:18Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:23It's good.
22:24I was, you know, taking a picture of your face with God
22:25You and your family members, if you don't come from Allah
22:29In my work, the best thing to respect people and what does for your family members
22:32Right?
22:32Oh, yeah.