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Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives, a friend was welcomed back.
00:05I told them how much better you were doing.
00:09A marriage was on the mend.
00:10I'd like to recapture what we once had.
00:14Gabby and Carlos discovered a secret.
00:16You are getting sloppy, and if people start poking around, we're done.
00:20And Susan made a request.
00:22You're asking if I'm okay with letting a stripper live with us?
00:30The first thing you need to know about Robin Gallagher was that everyone liked to look at her.
00:40They would stare at her legs, and her breasts, and her hair.
00:49And once they were done, people would begin to ask...
00:54Who is this?
00:55This is my friend Robin.
00:56Hello there.
00:57Mike had to work today, so I thought I'd bring her as my plus one.
01:00Hello there.
01:01You already said that.
01:02I wanted her to know I meant it.
01:05It's really good to have you back on the lane, Catherine.
01:07It's great to be back.
01:08I didn't know what to expect at first.
01:11I have wondered how everyone would feel about me, if they were really ready to welcome me back.
01:16I guess there's always that fear that people are going to reject you.
01:21Do I smell appetizers?
01:23I know I do.
01:31Hello, Susan.
01:33Who's your new friend?
01:34Robin, this is Carlos, Tom, Roy, and Orson.
01:38Hope you got all that, because there's going to be a quiz later.
01:42Oh, God.
01:43So, Robin, welcome to my humble abode.
01:47It's so suburban.
01:49I've never been in a place where the ceilings are so tall.
01:53Fascinating.
01:54Just fascinating.
01:57You live in the city?
01:58I did.
01:59But I'll be living with Susan for a while.
02:01I just moved in today.
02:05Susan, let's get you a drink.
02:07Oh, no.
02:08That's okay.
02:09I'll wait till...
02:10Oh.
02:12So...
02:13So, how did you meet Susan?
02:15So?
02:16Want to tell us about your new friend?
02:17Or, should I say, roommate?
02:19She was down on her luck and she needed a place to stay.
02:22Plus, I feel responsible because I told her to give up her job.
02:26What was wrong with her job?
02:28Well...
02:29We probably don't need to let the guys in on this, but...
02:32Robin was...
02:33That's wild!
02:34So, you used to be a stripper.
02:40Yes.
02:42Everyone liked to look at Robin Gallagher.
02:45But not everyone liked what they saw.
03:03Later, while the men of Wisteria Lane were trying the shrimp,
03:07their wives were trying to control themselves.
03:11You moved a stripper into the neighborhood? What were you thinking?
03:13You guys aren't even taking the time to get to know her.
03:16Our husbands are in there pulling together their dollar bills.
03:18What more do we need to know?
03:20I just met Robin. She seems great.
03:21Did she mention that she's a stripper?
03:24Did she have to?
03:26Look, I am just trying to help her get back on her feet.
03:28I bet that'd be a nice change for her.
03:30She is living in my house.
03:32If anybody should be worried, it'd be me, and I am not threatened by her at all.
03:35Really?
03:36Yes. She's a nice girl.
03:38Yeah. Nice, blonde, and you can bounce a quarter off her ass.
03:41I'm telling you, she's trouble.
03:43Here's a good thing.
03:44She can't bring any more crazy to this street than I did.
03:46Let's give her a chance.
03:47I agree.
03:48Robin's probably had a tough life, and she needs our help.
03:51Well, I'm all for being open-minded, but I have teenage boys at home.
03:54The last thing I need next door is a stripper.
03:56Hey, Mrs. Scavo, we're picking up Parker for school.
04:08Please come in. I'll get him for you.
04:13So, you ever going to get back to folding the laundry?
04:15Well, I thought I'd treat myself and wash the breakfast dishes first.
04:19Well, you started this. Don't you think you should finish?
04:24Well, since you're so passionate about it...
04:29Knock yourself out.
04:35Okay, you just went from jerk to adorable real quick.
04:40Happy anniversary.
04:41Oh!
04:45It's the ring!
04:46Oh, you went back to that antique shop?
04:48Yep.
04:49Oh, thank you.
04:53Wait, I see your present.
04:54You can unwrap it tonight when the kids are asleep.
04:57Or how about after they leave for school?
05:00Okay.
05:02Hey, why are they still up there?
05:04Why can't I hear them?
05:15Hey, boys.
05:19What's going on?
05:21Uh, we're late for school.
05:34Oh!
05:41Hey, Lynette.
05:42Hi.
05:43The next time you take a shower, do you think you could close your blinds?
05:45I have a 16-year-old son.
05:48And he has friends.
05:50Oh, no.
05:51Oh, yes.
05:52You may have retired from the strip club, but you're still doing seven shows a week.
05:55I mean, they didn't have to pay a cover charge rate.
05:59This is a nice community.
06:00You have a responsibility to the neighbors.
06:02Especially the ones with innocent children.
06:06But they're not all so innocent.
06:09Excuse me?
06:11Yesterday, that son of yours asked me if I would have sex with him.
06:17Parker?
06:19My Parker?
06:21Red hair, skinny, still sleeps in a bed shaped like a race car Parker?
06:25Of course I said no.
06:28Then he offered me cash.
06:30Hey.
06:37Come in.
06:39Have a seat.
06:41What's up?
06:42Something wrong?
06:44We hoped it would be another year before we have the parent-son conversation where we tell you not to offer your neighbor money for sex.
06:51But...
06:53Oh, crap. She told?
06:55Yeah.
06:57You might want to pick a more discreet stripper next time.
06:59What were you thinking?
07:00We raised you better than that.
07:02Didn't we?
07:03Yeah, we did.
07:04We did. So?
07:05What do you have to say for yourself?
07:06I just really, really, really, really needed to have sex.
07:15Three really's? Well, in that case, here's a 20. Go back and try again.
07:20You are a 16 year old boy. We understand. Your hormones are holding your brain hostage. But why would you think you would need to pay for sex?
07:30Because I'm the only one of my friends who hasn't lost his virginity.
07:32Oh. First of all, we've seen your friends, and trust me, pimples, braces, and beam me up, Scotty, are not getting any.
07:40Girls don't look at me that way. It's never gonna happen.
07:49Hey.
07:52Knock it off!
07:54You are a great kid! You don't need to pay for it!
07:58What?
07:59In a few years.
08:01When you're emotionally ready, you'll meet the right girl, and you will have tons of sex.
08:07After you're married.
08:09Okay, Dad.
08:11Sorry.
08:19Nice job.
08:23You think you bought it?
08:25What, what?
08:26You know.
08:28Guys always pay for sex in some way. I mean, dinner, flowers, antique rings.
08:38Whoa. Whoa. You think that's the only reason we're having sex tonight?
08:44Of course not. It's our anniversary. It's a given. Like turkey on Thanksgiving. Although I am hoping that the ring gets me an upgrade from missionary.
08:51Forget about upgrades. You just got bumped off the flight.
08:55Honey, what? Why are you getting so upset?
08:58Because I didn't know I was married to such a cynical lug nut.
09:02Are we really not gonna have sex tonight?
09:04Don't worry, Tom.
09:05Don't worry, Tom. In a few years, when you're emotionally ready, you're gonna have tons of sex.
09:10Come on!
09:20So you really like that ring?
09:22Yep.
09:23Mm-hmm.
09:24Did you read the inscription?
09:27Oh, my darling.
09:29We're not having sex, Tom.
09:31Oh, come on.
09:33Why not?
09:34Because I am still upset by what you said.
09:37Do you really think women only sleep with men if they buy them things?
09:41No.
09:42I think supermodels sleep with 80-year-old millionaires because they love to hear stories about when bread was five cents a loaf.
09:49Well, I'm not a model, and you're no millionaire, so I'm thinking you owe me an apology.
09:54You and I went to Marley's Tavern on our first two dates, and I could barely get past a goodnight kiss.
10:00But third time out, I dropped 200 bucks at Larive Gauche, and bam, you finally put out.
10:06It finally made love.
10:07Listen, you idiot!
10:13I did not put out because you bought me an expensive dinner.
10:18I did it because you showed up for the date with a light bulb to replace the one that had burned out in the hallway to my apartment.
10:24Remember?
10:26You said I didn't live in the best neighborhood.
10:28And I was worried about you.
10:31Bingo.
10:33I was ready to do you right then and there.
10:35Really?
10:38That's all it takes.
10:40Me showing you I care.
10:43Because that's easy.
10:46And now it's time for your anniversary present.
10:49Hey, Robin.
10:50Remember the other day when I told you this was a nice neighborhood? I forgot to warn you there's this one bitch that lives right nearby. And that would be me.
11:06Look, I understand. The next trip we're moving next door will freak some people out.
11:11No.
11:13Seriously, I'm sorry.
11:16Apology accepted.
11:17Oh, and uh, by the way.
11:18Oh, yeah.
11:19The next time you're giving it to your husband with the lights on, could you draw the drapes?
11:27Here we go.
11:28Well, I've got the, uh, Steiner bar mitzvah tomorrow.
11:33Can you mean to run any errands for you before I go?
11:34Well, you should be good.
11:35Joyce will be here at three for my rehab and Roy offered to take me to the park.
11:38Oh, well, isn't that lovely?
11:39Do you want to watch a movie?
11:40Well, I guess I'll read.
11:41I guess we could watch a movie.
11:42No, no.
11:43You want to read?
11:44No.
11:45No.
11:46No.
11:47No.
11:48No.
11:49No.
11:50No.
11:51No.
11:52No.
11:53No.
11:54No.
11:55No.
11:56No.
11:57No.
11:58No.
11:59No.
12:00No.
12:01No.
12:02No.
12:03No.
12:04No.
12:05No.
12:06No.
12:07No.
12:08No.
12:09No.
12:10No.
12:11No.
12:12No.
12:13No.
12:14No.
12:15No.
12:16No.
12:17No.
12:18No.
12:19No.
12:20No.
12:21No.
12:22No.
12:23No.
12:24No.
12:25No.
12:26No.
12:27No.
12:28No.
12:29No.
12:30No.
12:31No.
12:32No.
12:33No.
12:34No.
12:35No.
12:36No.
12:37No.
12:38Susan and Mike have been so good to me.
12:40I wanted to do something nice for them,
12:42and I thought, hey, maybe I should bake them a cake.
12:44Oh, that's very thoughtful.
12:46Well, feel free to use whatever you need.
12:53So, what do I need?
12:55Robin, what exactly do you know about cakes?
13:00Well, I know that if you're going to hide in one for more than an hour,
13:03the air holes have got to be pretty big.
13:07All right, then.
13:08It looks like I will be teaching you how to make a cake.
13:10Yay!
13:11You rock free.
13:13I rock.
13:15Now, the key to success is following the recipe exactly.
13:19The secret to baking is precision.
13:22Got it.
13:23You're my hero.
13:25What are you doing?
13:27Making you my screensaver.
13:28That's sweet.
13:29They're replacing my cat.
13:31He's eating noodles.
13:33Let's just do this.
13:35Go get yourself an apron.
13:37That is, like, the coolest cake I've ever seen.
13:41Raspberry mocha.
13:42Orson's favorite.
13:44I talked to him at the party.
13:47He's nice.
13:48It must be tough having him in a wheelchair.
13:51It's been challenging.
13:53Well, they say you can get through anything if you have a solid marriage.
13:57Yes.
13:58Well...
14:00Oh.
14:01I'm sorry.
14:02I didn't mean to pry.
14:03It's fine.
14:04Let's just say, before his accident, there were issues and now we're trying to put the pieces back together.
14:08Well, that's good for you.
14:11So, what's the piece you can't find?
14:13Ah, now you are prying.
14:15What?
14:16We did make a cake together.
14:18Look, my grandmother always said that if you want to save your marriage, there's only one room to do it in.
14:27The bedroom.
14:28Yeah, I got that.
14:31It's not about sex.
14:32It's about closeness.
14:34We've lost our intimacy.
14:37Oh, honey.
14:38Sex is how men get intimate.
14:40Well, I'm not even sure he's capable.
14:44Oh, it doesn't matter.
14:45His brain still works.
14:47And he can see you.
14:48He can feel you touch him.
14:49He can hear what you say to him.
14:51You know, I had this regular customer.
14:53Ninety-two years old.
14:54In a wheelchair.
14:55I used to have to push the oxygen tank out of the way to give him a lap dance.
15:00I don't know if he's even interested.
15:03Well, here's the thing.
15:05Neither of us knows for sure.
15:07Only one of us can find out.
15:19Hello, dear.
15:20How was the bar mitzvah?
15:21A boy became a man and a rabbi.
15:23Bless my cream puffs.
15:24Same old, same old.
15:25How was your day?
15:26Oh, I've been passing the time reading.
15:29Well, I suppose I should get out of these clothes.
15:34Oh, Peter Tchaikovsky.
15:36God bless you.
15:38Yes.
15:39I never tire of this piece.
15:40It's extraordinary.
15:41So moving.
15:42So sensual.
15:44I never tire.
15:45Let's try.
15:59Oh.
16:00Yeah.
16:01I never tire.
16:02Oh, God.
16:03Okay, I never tire of this place.
16:05Don't you want to do that upstairs, you know, near the hamper?
16:17Actually, I'd rather do it right here.
16:31Why are you walking like that?
16:35What do you think?
16:37I'm not sure.
16:40You're trying to make me feel better about being paralyzed?
16:47Guess again, big boy.
16:52Well, if you're having a stroke, we're going to make quite the team.
17:01Oh, I do believe it's getting hot in here.
17:06Are you all right?
17:15Yeah, just a second.
17:17My earring's cut.
17:19Enjoy the music.
17:24Now, let me help.
17:25No, no, no, I'm just...
17:26Stay there.
17:27I'm coming over.
17:28No, listen, I've got it.
17:29Ow!
17:32Ow!
17:33I'm sorry.
17:34I'm sorry.
17:36Told you I didn't need any help.
17:37Well, in my defense, that wasn't entirely clear.
17:40Forget it.
17:41This was stupid.
17:43What was that?
17:44What do you think?
17:45It was a lap dance.
17:47That was a lap dance?
17:49I was trying to arouse you.
17:51You are aware I'm in a wheelchair.
17:53Well, I thought you still might be interested in that sort of thing.
17:56I am.
17:57But you certainly don't act like it.
17:58After the accident, I just never thought you would ever consider...
18:04Orson, things will be awkward at first, but we can work on it.
18:13You're my husband.
18:15I want to be close to you.
18:17I want to share your bed again, even if it means just holding your hand before you fall asleep.
18:23Come on.
18:37Is this all right?
18:42Let's see.
18:44I've got Tchaikovsky on the stereo.
18:47My wife in my arms.
18:49Yes.
18:53Is this all right?
19:07She and Danny spent the whole day together.
19:14What's left to see?
19:15This is out of control.
19:17Let's forbid Anna to talk to him.
19:19Yeah, forbid two teenagers.
19:20That always works.
19:21Besides, what would we say?
19:23We overheard his parents talking and we think they're evil?
19:25What do you think the Bowlings did?
19:27I don't know, but you don't go on the run for not paying your cable bill.
19:29They've been cagey ever since they moved in.
19:31And Nick doesn't work.
19:32How do they have money?
19:33Maybe they're drug dealers or gun runners.
19:36Whatever they are.
19:37I don't want Anna anywhere near that family.
19:39She won't break up with him.
19:40She will if we make her.
19:41I told you that won't work.
19:42We need to come up with a carrot, not a stick.
19:48Anna.
19:49Privacy, please.
19:50I've got big news.
19:51For me or for you?
19:52You.
19:53Oh.
19:54I just got a call from my good friend, Luke Rayfield.
19:56I was a struggling model in New York when he was a struggling photographer.
20:00Well, mostly I was his beard for all his family functions.
20:03There was this one time...
20:03Is the part about me coming up?
20:05Oh, yeah.
20:05Anyway.
20:07Luke now has his own modeling agency.
20:09And he's always looking for new talent.
20:10So I sent him your picture.
20:13Wait for it.
20:14Wait for it.
20:15He wants to represent you.
20:18You may now begin screaming.
20:21I have to call Danny.
20:22Oh, well, you know what?
20:24Danny can wait.
20:25We need to go buy you some new luggage.
20:27They want you in New York immediately.
20:29Now?
20:30But don't I have to finish high school?
20:32World War II, Germany lost.
20:34Korean War, Korea lost.
20:35Vietnam War, we lost.
20:36Happy graduation.
20:36What's wrong?
20:41I don't think I can go just yet.
20:44Why not?
20:47Danny and I have a plan.
20:48We're going to New York together when I graduate.
20:54After everything I've done for her,
20:56Danny and I are moving to New York after I graduate.
20:58We're in love.
21:00Oh, I'll waste some more wine before I throw up.
21:02What's wrong?
21:03Oh, Gabby got her niece a foot in the door for a modeling career
21:06and she's turning it down.
21:07Oh, bad call.
21:08I used to take ballet.
21:10And I was pretty good at it, too.
21:12And one time this instructor from a big ballet company
21:15saw me perform and, long story short,
21:18two days later they offered me a job.
21:20What happened?
21:21Bobby Butterfield happened.
21:23A boy.
21:24Not just a boy.
21:25The boy.
21:26Oh, I was crazy about him.
21:28Thought it was going to last forever.
21:30So I passed on the job.
21:32And two months later he dumped me for Louise McMullen.
21:35And then a month after that I got into a car accident,
21:37messed up my knee,
21:38and then it was goodbye, tutu.
21:40Hello, tatas.
21:43That is fantastic.
21:45Did we just hear the same story?
21:46You've got to tell that story to Anna.
21:49Putting off your dreams
21:50and then having your life spiral down the crapper.
21:52It couldn't be more perfect.
21:55Well, I guess I could talk to Anna
21:58if you think it would help her.
22:00Great.
22:00And don't be afraid to turn on the waterworks.
22:02Nothing sounds pathetic like stripper tears.
22:05Maybe it would help if I started taping you
22:07so you could hear what it is you say.
22:12Don't be discouraged if Luke starts you off
22:14with catalog work.
22:15Just try to get your face in the shot.
22:16It's a little tough to do with a lawnmower,
22:18but I did it.
22:18Yeah.
22:19Where you been?
22:20I was texting you.
22:22Oh, I was just coming over.
22:24Taking a trip?
22:25I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about.
22:29So I'll just take these inside for you.
22:31Bye, Danny.
22:34What do you need luggage for?
22:38I was just about to come over and tell you right now.
22:40When did this happen?
22:40I just found out, okay?
22:42Anna, I thought we were supposed to go together.
22:44Why can't you wait?
22:46This is a huge opportunity.
22:48You should be saying,
22:49great, Anna.
22:49Go for it.
22:51If you can't support me,
22:51then maybe we shouldn't even be together.
22:53Hey, hey, Robin.
22:59Hi.
23:00What's up?
23:00I've been meaning to thank you.
23:02Your little speech to Anna worked like a charm.
23:04I just took her to the airport.
23:05Great.
23:06So why was she fighting with Danny Bolan yesterday?
23:10They were breaking up.
23:12They were dating?
23:13Yeah.
23:14That's the whole reason I wanted you to talk to her.
23:15To convince her she was screwing up her life
23:17so I could ship her off to New York
23:18and get her away from Danny.
23:21You didn't tell me that.
23:24Okay, so?
23:25So I don't like being used.
23:26Oh, don't get upset.
23:27You did good.
23:28Anna's gone.
23:29Danny's out of the picture.
23:30I owe you.
23:30Big time.
23:40Danny.
23:41Hey, I think we need to talk.
23:43Sorry, it's really not a good time.
23:45Actually, this is exactly the time.
23:54I just talked to Luke.
23:55Anna has settled into her dorm.
23:57She's got all her classes lined up,
23:58and he's taking her new headshots to her.
24:01And the best part is she is miles away
24:03from the nearest Bolan.
24:04Oh, perfect timing.
24:27Something smells good.
24:29Just putting on the finishing touches before we eat.
24:32Bon appetit.
24:33Oh, you spoil me.
24:36What's wrong?
24:37Is it your back again?
24:38Yeah, I spent all day working in a crawl space.
24:40Oh, I'll call the chiropractor first thing in the morning.
24:42No need for that.
24:43I can fix it.
24:45Come here.
24:46Ow.
24:47Oh, wait, wait, wait.
24:47What are you doing?
24:48At Double D's,
24:49the girls were constantly throwing their backs out
24:51from sliding down that pole.
24:52They all came to see me.
24:54Now just relax.
24:55And one, two, three.
24:59There.
25:00How'd it feel?
25:01Oh, my God.
25:02It's gone.
25:03The pain's gone.
25:05Wow.
25:06Thank you, Robin.
25:07I was just going to give him a scotch
25:08and make him sleep in the guest room.
25:10Seriously, you really fixed me up.
25:12Thanks.
25:13Oh, please.
25:14After all you guys have done for me,
25:15that's the least I can do.
25:16It's just...
25:17I'm home.
25:24In here.
25:26No fast food tonight.
25:28Fire up the...
25:30microwave.
25:32Hey.
25:33My back went out again.
25:35Robin tried cracking it,
25:36but it just didn't go deep enough.
25:37This is the way the Buddhist monks do it.
25:38It's the only way to get through all that muscle.
25:43Is there a problem, babe?
25:44No.
25:46No problem.
25:49Looks like you're in good hands.
25:51Or feet.
25:53So I'll just go make dinner.
25:56Happy trails.
26:00How does that feel?
26:01Oh, yeah.
26:02Yeah, do that.
26:03Do that.
26:04Can you handle a little more?
26:06Oh, give me all you got.
26:07So I ran into Janice White today.
26:10Says her husband is sick.
26:12Oh, wow.
26:12You're really stiff.
26:13Here, let me try something else.
26:16Oh, you're the boss.
26:17Apparently it's bacterial
26:18and he's bloating like a pig.
26:21I'm going to grab it and pull.
26:23Go for it.
26:25And there's a lot of diarrhea.
26:27Oh, yes.
26:28Oh, yes.
26:30Oh, yes.
26:31Oh, yes.
26:34This is incredible.
26:35Most monks really know what they're doing.
26:38Yeah.
26:39When do they find time to pray?
26:41Hey.
26:46Hey.
26:47I'm on my way to school.
26:48The faculty volunteered to make sandwiches for the homeless.
26:52Okay.
26:52Well, I'll see you later.
26:55What's the matter?
26:56I re-piped an entire house.
26:58Even my hair hurts.
26:59Oh, you poor thing.
27:00You want the heating pad?
27:01No.
27:01No, I'll be okay.
27:02Well, I won't be gone long.
27:04Feel better.
27:05I'll just have Robin crack my back when she gets home.
27:07Or I could stay here and do it.
27:10What about the homeless?
27:12Please.
27:13You've gone this long without food.
27:15What's another ten minutes?
27:17Susan, do you have a problem with Robin working on me?
27:20Of course not.
27:21But she's not here and you're in pain.
27:24So why don't you let me take a shot at it?
27:26A shot at it?
27:27We're talking about my spine.
27:29Mike, Robin didn't exactly go to medical school between lap dances.
27:33I saw what she did.
27:34I can do the same thing.
27:36Okay.
27:37Here we go.
27:38Ow!
27:39Ow?
27:39No, ow.
27:40That's exactly what Robin did.
27:42No, she didn't yank it.
27:43It's my arm, not an emergency break.
27:44Shh.
27:45Just take a deep breath.
27:46The key is relaxation.
27:48Okay.
27:49One.
27:50Two.
27:54You know, if you hadn't moved when I said three...
27:57Just go.
28:07Oh, my God, Susan.
28:09Isn't that going to be all right?
28:11Can I see him?
28:12Sure.
28:12See?
28:13Just don't climb on the bed.
28:19Look, why didn't you wait for me?
28:21I would have taken care of Mike's back.
28:22No problem.
28:23Well, I wanted to do it myself.
28:25Oh.
28:27Okay.
28:30I'm lying.
28:31I didn't want to do it.
28:32I just really wanted you not to do it.
28:35I don't understand.
28:39God, I've been trying really hard to be cool about all this.
28:42But when I walked in and I saw you all over Mike...
28:47Wait, when I was cracking his back.
28:50I was just trying to help.
28:51While you were wearing next to nothing and straddling my husband, how was I supposed to react?
28:57You used to be a stripper.
29:02Oh, don't cry.
29:05Why are you crying?
29:06Strippers are supposed to be tough.
29:07Stop calling me that.
29:10Yes, I was a stripper.
29:13But you know what?
29:13You were the only person who never treated me like one.
29:16Until now.
29:18Oh.
29:18Look, I'm really sorry if I cross the line with Mike.
29:22You know, I guess after working nine years in the club, I just don't know where the line is anymore.
29:27Ah, it's...
29:28I overreacted.
29:30Maybe I should move out.
29:34No, Robin.
29:36You don't have to do that.
29:40I want us to be friends for a very long time.
29:43So yes, I do.
29:47Whoa!
29:50Daddy needs help making the bed go back down.
30:00Hello.
30:04Hi.
30:05Susan asked me to bring you some of your mail.
30:07Oh, thank you.
30:08I'm Robin.
30:09We met at your party.
30:11Yeah, I remember.
30:14How's it going?
30:15Oh, I think you heard about my little vacation at Fairview Behavioral.
30:19Yes, I heard.
30:21Well, to be honest, it's been hard.
30:24Especially coming back to this big empty house.
30:26Not to mention these subtle glances I get from people judging me.
30:29But you know what I say?
30:30To hell with them.
30:34I'll see you.
30:36Oh, hey.
30:38And if this house gets too lonely, I'm looking for a room to rent.
30:41I mean, Mike and Susan are great, but it's getting a little crowded over there.
30:46Okay.
30:47I'll keep it in mind.
30:48For what it's worth, it might take the heat off of you.
30:51No one judges the woman from the loony bin when there's a stripper next to her.
30:59This is great.
31:04I haven't had a female roommate since after college.
31:08That's here for girl power.
31:10We should go out and have a drink to celebrate.
31:13Oh, I don't know.
31:14My therapist says I should get out more, but even being over at Gabby's house the other day, it's just hard.
31:22Yeah, I get that.
31:25So what was it like being in a mental hospital?
31:32You know, not as much fun as one would expect.
31:36I only ask because of my mom.
31:38She used to use me as a punching bag, and I always dreamed about having her committed.
31:43I'm sorry.
31:44Oh, no, it was only when she was drunk.
31:48It was her way of coping with my dad cheating on her all the time.
31:52I remember wishing that he was ugly so other women wouldn't want him, but he looked like Clint Eastwood.
32:00Anyway, Mom had to take out her anger somewhere, and I was an easier target than a 6'4 trucker.
32:05Actually, it was pretty bad at the hospital.
32:13People always say it's the screaming that gets to you.
32:18But at least screaming means you're alive, you know?
32:23What I couldn't take were the people with the blank stares.
32:29There was this one woman who sat frozen in the garden all day.
32:33Whispering the words to old MacDonald had a farm over and over and over.
32:41Do doctors ever take offense when she got to hear a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack, quack?
32:54You know what?
32:58If there were ever two people who deserved a night out drinking, it's us.
33:03Okay, quit pro quo.
33:08I told you what it was like to go to bed in restraints, so I think it's only fair that you tell me what it was like being a stripper.
33:14Oh, it was brutal.
33:16If I had a dollar for every guy that slapped me on my butt just because he felt like it, kind of think of it, I do.
33:23Excuse me.
33:26My friend and I were wondering if you'd like to join us at our table.
33:31No, thank you. It's girls' night out.
33:33Two beautiful women in a bar. Can't blame a guy for asking.
33:37We're over there. If you decide to go co-ed.
33:39Is it bad that I want to go sit with them?
33:44You do?
33:45Yeah. It's been a while since the guy that cute has flirted with me.
33:52You know what? Let's do it.
33:53Really?
33:54Yes. You look way too hot to waste on just me.
33:58Shall we?
33:58Come on. You've got to have a secret.
34:04Nope. It's shampoo and conditioner.
34:06Well, it looks amazing. You should be on the cover of hair magazines.
34:09What is it you said you'd do?
34:10I didn't. But my friend Catherine is starting her own catering company.
34:14Oh, well, thinking about it. Cooking's a passion of mine.
34:17But a lot has to happen before I start my own business.
34:21Huh. I know. You're a model.
34:25No.
34:26Oh, uh, dental hygienist.
34:28No.
34:29Oh, I know. You're a flight attendant.
34:32You may as well tell me, or I'm just going to keep guessing all night.
34:34She's a stripper, okay?
34:39Ex. Stripper. I'm sorry.
34:41Hey, why are you apologizing?
34:43You love strippers.
34:44Yeah. They're like angels of mercy that show their boobs.
34:50You should probably get going.
34:52What are you talking about? We haven't even danced yet.
34:55Oh, I don't really feel like dancing, although I can't speak for Catherine here.
34:58I just don't want to dance with you.
35:00But you're not attracted to someone who's classy, witty, not to mention breathtakingly beautiful.
35:06No offense to your friend, but you're more my type.
35:09Oh.
35:10Well, in that case, I guess I'll just keep her all to myself.
35:20Night, guys.
35:21God. The look in their faces.
35:31I know. It was the perfect combo of I am so turned on and I am so going home alone.
35:37You should remember that the next time you want to get out of a bad date.
35:42Oh, no. I don't think so.
35:44Those two pigs confirmed what I've been thinking for a while now.
35:48I think it's time for me to give up on men.
35:51Amen, sister.
35:53It's official. My dating days are over.
35:56I mean, you don't have to take it that far.
35:57You can always just do what I did and explore other options.
36:03What do you mean?
36:05Cast a wider net.
36:07Expand the pool.
36:10Date chicks.
36:13Oh.
36:15So you're...
36:17Yep.
36:18Card carrying.
36:19I thought that kiss felt awfully convincing.
36:28I mean, I dated guys for a long time and I just never really felt a connection.
36:33And then I started stripping and I was surrounded by all these confident, sexy women and I realized,
36:40Robin, sweetie, you have been barking up the wrong tree.
36:44Yeah, I think I got the right tree.
36:46Just sick of barking.
36:47Well, it's it yourself.
36:55You're okay with this, right?
36:57It's not going to affect anything with us.
37:01I don't see why it would.
37:04Okay.
37:04Okay.
37:17Hey, Robin.
37:23What are you up to?
37:24Just out for a walk.
37:26It's such a nice day.
37:27Yeah, it is.
37:28So, how do you like the neighborhood?
37:29Is everyone treating you okay?
37:31I guess so.
37:32No one's giving you any guff about being a stripper, are they?
37:34Oh, no.
37:35I just want to make sure.
37:36Because trust me, I've been there.
37:40Way back when I was sort of in the sex trade myself.
37:44Oh, yeah.
37:44I used to model women's foundation garments for Sears Roebuck.
37:49These breasts put me through college.
37:52They're real, by the way.
37:54They look real.
37:56Yeah.
37:57Anyway, I'm glad that people are treating you nice.
38:02You know what the best part is?
38:05They actually see me.
38:08See you?
38:09I spent a lot of years working at a place where people stared at me all night long,
38:13but no one ever really saw me.
38:17You know what I mean?
38:18I do.
38:20And when I first got here, I thought it was going to be the same thing,
38:23but I get the feeling your neighbors see past all the stuff that people usually look at.
38:32It makes me feel really good.
38:35Oh, go ahead.
38:38Robbing Balaker was right.
38:40The people she had met on Wisteria Lane had really looked at her.
38:45And they had seen her sense of morality,
38:49her loyal heart,
38:53her surprising insight,
38:57her forgiving nature.
39:02Some people had even taken notice of her incredible beauty.
39:10And they were surprised to discover
39:13they liked what they saw.